The Scale delievered my Reality Check

The good news is that I maintained since the last time I weighed 2 weeks ago. The bad news is that I had gained 5.5 pounds - this means that gain is genuine and now must be lost. Ugh. At least I know, I have a plan, and I have bounced back from bigger gains that this before. I have lost weight for 3 years now - appallingly slow, but I have posted a net loss every one of those years, and when I do gain some back, those gains get smaller as I get better at catching myself.

I won't lie - it's still frustrating to know how far I have to go given how long I've been at this.

Plans include: laying off the sauce for January - at least! A cup of soup with dinner every night this upcoming week. I'll make a batch of my own version of WW 0 point soup - chicekn broth, various veggies, a can of tomatoes, blended with my immersion blender to make it nice and thick. That should help with dinner time portion control.

Year In Review

It's that time of year to review the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good:
1) lost weight
2) completed triathlon
3) trained for marathon - got up to 18 miles before pesky injury ruined my plans!
4) won bench press competition
5) went down a size

The bad:
1) STILL not at goal weight
2) didn't do marathon

The ugly:
1) back fat - thank goodness that's nearly gone!

I weight tomorrow so I'll post then how the numbers break down. I have some goals for next year, including losing more weight, and setting a fitness goal (marathon attempt #2? 100 mile bike race?) I'll decide soon.....

Weather Makes a Difference

The weather has given me a break - warm (relatively) and sunny. I walked yesterday evening when I got home, and it was a pleasant 45 when I walked at 5:30 this morning. Gotta soak up some sunshine while it's available!

Eating yesterday was on track, as was exercise. Today I had a big salad with my pumpkin soup for lunch and used honey mustard dressing. I'd forgotten how much I like honey mustard - it's been a while. So that's my new dressing for now. Given a couple of decent dressings, I can be a salad eating fool! :-)

I just got an email from a friend, complaining about the fact that she sees others people's crap food and craves it, even though she knows it'll make her feel like dog poop. Boy can I relate to that! I know what my body does well on, yet still crave the garbage that makes it feel so bad. No logic there, just human nature I guess. But for today, I am eating well & feeling good.

What Wagon?

Wouldn't it be really cool if I could go for 48 hours of healthy eating? Why did I decide to drive by and see if our favorite Mexican place had opened back up? Why did I leave my comfy chair at 7:15 to drive out for cheese dip, chips, and beer? Sometimes I feel like such a loser, and I'm not talking about weight here people!!!!!!

The Best Breakfast Ever! And, The Chihuahua Oppression Society

I made the yummiest breakfast today! ½ c old fashioned oats - cooked, plus 1 T chopped pecans, 1/8 c maple & pecan granola, ½ a small box of raisins, a dash of sugar free pancake syrup, and milk. Wow! Who knew oatmeal could be so good?

I am dog sitting for my mom while she is out of town. Her dog Sheba (a llaso apso/daschund mix) is the mother of her dog Lulu and our dog Bess. Mom got Sheba from a student who was moving. Turns out she had gotten out just long enough for a romantic interlude with the neighborhood Chihuahua and she was pregnant when my mom got her. She is a wonderful dog, and little (maybe 15 pounds). Hre puppies were total cuties, and we got one, my MIL got one, and my mom kept one – we gave 2 others away). SO, I had my 2 big dogs, plus 3 little ones underfoot last night. I have dubbed them “the Chihuahua oppression society” because they will run around in a pack, all trying to sit in your lap at the same time! They were so funny, although getting off to work this morning was a pain!

I slept in this morning even though I went to bed at 9:30 – I forgot how tired you are after a really good weight lifting session! Last night was chest & back – oh my! Today I have walked from the first floor to the fourth & then back to the second every time I’ve gone to the cafeteria for water (I work on the first floor and the cafeteria is on the 2nd). I figured walking to the top & back down was a painless way to add in a little exercise. I also walked for 30 minutes with a co-worker. I am headed to the gym for some cardio tonight, but am going to hold off a day before I do more weights.

Food was pretty good yesterday:
B: oatmeal with granola, milk, pecans, and blueberries
S: 1 lowfat string cheese, carrots, & celery
L: pumpkin & black bean soup
S: broccoli casserole, 1 lowfat string cheese, a tangerine
S: 1 lowfat string cheese
D: Lean Cuisine chicken fried rice (with extra diced turkey breast), 2 c hot & sour soup, and I ate the D^%* crunchies the Chinese place gave me with the soup!

Exercise yesterday:
3 miles walk/run (mostly walk!)
weight lifting

Back to “Normal”

Or whatever passes for it in my family! :-) We had a very nice holiday – the usual stress of course, but also some very nice stuff. Like my mom giving me my grandmother’s wedding ring set (in the original box) which my granddad had given her when my mom was 9. I cried on that one!

I hit the gym a couple of times last week – going first thing on Thursday and Friday mornings. And I didn’t get too crazy with the food, thankfully.

But today is back to normal. I’m at work. My son is with his grandparents for the week and hubby is working out of town, so I get to indulge my inner gym rat and go to the gym every day. I made a big pot of homemade soup to eat for lunches, and dinners are Lean Cuisines with a side salad & some extra protein in the form of leftover turkey breast. I have my food all planned out, packaged, and as excuse free as I can make it.

Of course the meatball subs in the cafeteria looked good! But I have frozen turkey meatballs, some Newman’s Own pasta sauce I got on sale, and 2% mozzarella in the freezer. I’ll make my own Saturday night for dinner, and I bet they’ll be much better!

I plan to weigh on Friday so I can see how much I’ve lost this year (even single digits are progress). I got up this morning and went 3 miles – with some stretches of running thrown in there. I’ve been very slack on the running front, and it felt good! And I got to use the white fleece jacket and armband light my hubby got me for when I’m out before sun-up. I have such a great family! :-)

We are going to a party Friday night and I know I will indulge in crap food and alcohol. But I’m eating clean until then and getting right back to it after the party. I am very excited and focused and that feels so good!

Not Much to Report Here

Yesterday was fine food-wise, but exercise didn't happen. The boy & I made Christmas gifts together (home made soaps and Chai mix). I did get up and walk 3 miles this morning though. I'm off the next couple of days. Have a great holiday (whatever holiday you celbreate this time of year) to anyone who might be reading!

“I Can’t do Everything, but I do Everything I Can”

I had a strange exchange with my son in the car this morning on the way to school. He realized that he had forgotten his gloves. Without thinking, I handed him mine and told him he could use them (luckily they were plain grey gloves). He said “Thanks mom. It must be stressful, always making things right for me.” And I answered, “I’m your mom, that’s my job. I can’t do everything, but I do everything I can.” He is such a sweet child – sometimes I think I make my needs a little too known, and sometimes make him feel guilty for things he shouldn’t. He is so sensitive to my feelings, in a truly caring way.

Then I got to thinking about what I had said, and thought “Wouldn’t it be great if I could really apply that simple phrase to all areas of my life?” Think about it.

“I can’t do everything.” Accept that the house won’t be perfect 24/7, that the budget won’t always line up as well as I’d would like (but that doesn’t mean we’re headed for bankruptcy court!), and that I probably won’t be a world class athlete by the time I hit 40.

“I do everything I can.” Do I? DO I give 100% into whatever it is I am doing, whether it be a workout, or eating healthy, or walking the dog, or sitting on my butt watching a tivo-ed “Puppetmaster” horror flick? Do I enjoy the moments, and give it my best? Do I make choices that move me closer to my goals? Or are my goals not really goals at all – are they just day dreams? Which do I want them to be? Do my actions line up?

I know this won't happen all the time (I can't do everything!), but maybe I can move to being more conscious about the choices I make.

Weird Weekend

Overall, it was an odd weekend. I was super stressed Saturday, to the point that I cancelled my hair appointment because jusy thinking about going freaked me out. I felt like I was on the verge of an anxiety attack all day. Weird, and not good.

Sunday I felt better. I have decided a couple of things:

1) I have to figure out a way to get better (meaning, more stress relieving) cardio. I felt so much better when I was running a lot, even if I was incredibly slow. It was 9 degrees this morning, which is a little cold for running in this southern girl's book. But the gym doesn't cut it for me when it comes to stress relieving cardio. Gotta make a plan.

2) Gotta cut out the beer. I have mixed feelings about this one, but really - it's a lot of empty calories I don't need. It doesn't get me closer to what I want to be (in shape!) and besides, it makes me feel bad the next day. Even a little bit.

Glad I've Watched My Diet So Carefully!

Cause I'm up 1.5 pounds! Crap crap crap. Ugh!!!!!!!

Better to Cave a Little than a Lot

All the symptoms were there yesterday: fatigue, stress, and a sense of being deprived. Anyone who’s tried to lose a few knows where that deadly combination leads – to the food trough! (Moo!).

So, I tried to avert disaster by letting off the brakes just a little. I picked up the boy, and we used a coupon to have Mexican food. I ate chips & salsa. We split an order of cheese dip, I had a taco and a chicken enchilada, and lastly a nice big beer (22 oz!). I felt wonderful after. Then I went to the gym!

Last night was (sorta) leg night – with my gym time curtailed I’m trying to squeeze in weight training and some cardio in one session. So I did a little legs (3 sets each of smith squats and leg presses), followed by some low back and ab work. Then 20 minutes on the elliptical. So, a good workout!

Today I am back on track. We have a holiday lunch today (turkey etc). I plan to have white meat, green beans, dressing, and a small piece of the dessert I brought in (a crumb cake). I bought the box of crumb cake mix a couple of weeks back. When they asked people to bring in desserts, I figured it was the perfect excuse to get it out of the house! If I can’t lose weight, maybe I can fatten up my co-workers….. heh heh heh

Today I plan to walk at lunch and my mom is picking up the boy, so I am going to cruise by the gym for a little cardio. It was 19 degrees outside this morning. I’ll get up to walk the dog (the other big dog) tomorrow. But since I had a chance to hit the gym today, I decided to stay out of the cold.

Tomorrow I have a half day off to finish up a bit of last minute shopping. Then I’ll hit the gym, pick up my son, and we’ll go home and work on homemade gifts to go in our gift bags.

Wound A Little Tight

I am beginning to feel hints of stress around the fringes, but I’m keeping it together pretty well. I realized last night Fox’s tutor needs her gift tomorrow since he won’t see her again until the new year, and we haven’t made the chai mix yet (but we will tonight). House needs a quick 1 hour going over, which will happen tomorrow. Friday we will make soap. Gifts are almost all wrapped – it’s mostly just the house never got a good cleaning this weekend and all we’ve been doing this week is a holding action. I am a clean freak, I swear I’ve got mild OCD! Yesterday was a good day on the weight loss front, with food & exercise both good!

Food:
B: Oatmeal with chopped pecans (just a few!), soy eggnog, & cinnamon, 2 slicesof lowfat spam
S: 1 lowfat string cheese & celery & carrots
L: hamburger soup & a lowfat crescent roll
S: 1 lowfat string cheese & an apple & 1/2 a grapefruit
S2: slice of spam & half a roll (120 calories total)
D: chicken & spinach enchilada casserole
S: sugar free jello with lowfat cool whip

Exercise:
walked 3 miles in the morning, plus 30 min at lunch

This morning I only walked 1 mile because I walked our dog Butchie. He needs exercise too!

I am thinking that Friday night is going to involve beer & cheese dip. I know I know, but I figure if I plan it that’s better than letting this boil over. Plus I have some baked chips to keep it from being too hideous!

Was Your bed as Warm as Mine?

Oooh, it was so hard to get out of bed this morning! It was cold out, and snuggly warm in, and I had to hit the snooze twice before I talked myself out of the sheets! But I did it, and walked 3 miles in the frozen tundra that was our neighborhood. Okay, 28 might not seem that bad to some people, but it’s pretty cold for me!

As promised, I lifted weights last night. It was a pretty killer workout, so no cardio at the gym. I had done a 30 min walk at work, but that was it for cardio yesterday.

Back:
T-bar 25/12 35/10 40/8
Db row 30/12 30/12 40/8

Chest:
Db press 25/12 30/12 30/10
Inc press 25/12 25/10 30/10

Tri:
Overhead press 25/12 30/10
Dips 25/8 30/10 35/10

Bi:
Curl 20/12 20/9 25/6
Hammer curl 15/10 15/8

Shoulders:
Overhead press 15/12 20/10 25/8
Front raise 12.5/10 12.8/8
Lat raise 12.5/5 12.5/5

Those last two were alternated. Whew! After that, I sat in the sauna for a few minutes.

Food was also very good yesterday:

B: oatmeal & 2 slices lean spam
S: 1 lf string cheese, carrots & celery
L: hamburger soup & a lowfat crescent roll
S: apple, ½ a grapefruit, and a string cheese
D: low fat beef stew (made in crock pot!) and a crescent roll
S: apple “baked” in the microwave with some diet pepsi & oatmeal
Then covered in cinnamon and 1/3 c low cal vanilla ice cream

This morning, I got the boy to help and we did a quickie 15 minute clean-up – he did a “swipe & wipe” in the bathroom while I re-booted the dishes & laundry. It is so nice to know I am going home to a clean house and minimal chores.

I Am the Queen of Soup!

Weekend was way too hectic. But, my eating was improved. It went downhill last night, but even that wasn't as bad as its been. And I managed a walk, and good eating the rest of the time. I am feeling less puffy.

So, last week was lentil soup for lunch. This week is a ground beef soup my granddad used to make. He wasn't an expert cook, but once my grandmother's Alzheimer's got bad, he learned to cook so he could eat. :-) I figure soup and a veggie and roll is an excellent lunch, and satisfies my need for warm comforting food as winter begins to descend.

My son had a great time working at the warehouse helping with the gifts for kids in foster care. He asked if we could go back next year. I think it was a good experience for us both, and we had some good time together.

My granddad's soup

3 onions, chopped
1 lb lean ground beef
Brown these and place in crock pot. Add
46 oz can V8
2 cans cream of celery soup (I use low fat low sodium)
Cook for at least a couple of hours. That's it!


You can also add a block of frozen spinach or some diced celery, but that's the basics. Good, pretty healthy (better if you bulk it up with extra veggies) and comforting.

Reality Check Continues

Ran a couple of errands after work, got home & walked for 2 miles, then fixed a reasonable dinner. Ate a reasonable amount (only 1/4 c of the mashed potatoes) and did not have a cheesecake muffin.

This morning, I got up and walked 2 miles - and my husband went with me!!!! I am so happy - he hasn't been exercising for a while (since he started working out of town this summer) and his doctor told him he needs to. So I was very glad!

I am nervous - this week has been pretty good, and I've picked up steam as I've gone, including planning some good stuff for next week and lower calorie "treats" for the evening (120 cal ice cream sandwiches, sugarfree jello with ff cool whip, or a baked apple with some low cal ice cream. ) YUM! But it's Friday and we are taking the boy and a friend out for pizza. And making holidya cookies after. And no beer has passed these lips all week, but once Friday comes, its my duty as an American to support the large beer conglomerates.

I am doing good. I can do this. I have my meals planned for the weekend, with my "treat" meal tonight, but good stuff planned. I will be okay. I will be okay..

A Rude Awakening

So yesterday, at our holiday lunch, they were taking portraits. Our team had a picture made together (it's not online or I would share it). I look like a fat cow. I have to face reality. I have improved, but I'm not gonna get where I want eating mini cheesecake muffins every night, even if they are "only" muffin-sized.

Change of Plans

The good news is that I worked out last night, although I didn't lift weights. After 2 30 minute walks, I did 30 minutes on the bike at the gym, and then 20 on the stair master (which I had never used before). So that was pretty good. I need to start lifting more regularly, but I am still trying to get into a groove on that front. Cardio seems to be coming along.

The holiday meal wasn't too bad, althout I should have skipped the roll and not eaten as much of my dessert as it wasn't all that great. I had another of my cheesecake muffins last night. I'm starting to get tired of them.

What else? I was running late and wound up having a drive-thru breakfast: egg biscuit and diet Pepsi from Biscuitville. At 333 calories, that's not too bad for breakfast, although it isn't as healthy as I normally have. But it hardly blows the day out of the water or anything.

I had to come in early today, so no a.m. walk. My plan is to walk after lunch and then again this afternoon. If it is raining I will run to the gym and do the elliptical or something. I am not very good at the stair master - I was averaging around 350 calories per hour burned on that (I was at level 3 of 20). I average 400 calories per hour on the bike, and a little over 600 calories per hour on the elliptical. It feels like the most intense workout (I know those calorie measures aren't perfect) so it's my choice when time is limited.

Since I have two days a week I am at the gym for my son, I think I will create a 2 days split - upper one day and lower the next. I will be doing less for each body part, but its better than just floundering (like I am now). I love lifting, but I find it so easy to fall off any exercise routine, no matter how much I enjoy it.

Heading in the Right Direction

Yesterday was pretty good. I didn't get to the gym - well, I got there and realized I forgot to put my walkman in my gym bag. Cardio don't happen without a walkman. So, I picked up the boy, went home, and walked two miles. Plus, I had walked 30 minutes at lunch, so that's pretty good.

(My plan on the exercise is to walk 2 miles this week, 3 miles next week, and then start adding running back into the mix, but keep it at 3 in the mornings.)

Food was also pretty good. I had a cheesecake "muffin" (I made a no bake cheesecake in 12 muffin papers), and the boy & I went out to eat. I had ravioli at Fazoli's and 2 bread sticks. Dinner was planned, but the muffin wasn't, but still - not too bad.

I got up this morning and walked 2 miles. Today's challenge is a holiday lunch here at work. The good news is it is being prepared by the cafeteria, so it won't be so yummy that I just can't stop. Also, there's no seconds :-) You have to pre-select your meal from a choice of four - I opted for the south american cuisine - chipotle rubbed pork loin, blank beans and rice, and corn. Dinner is a lean turkey burger (grilled at home), some home baked fries, and a big salad. I plan to walk after lunch.

Weather is supposed to be beautiful and mid 60s. I am wearing candy cane earrings and a holiday t-shirt (Christmas in Hawaii - reindeer laying on the beach :-)

Have a good day!

Better

First, thanks for the good thoughts. I went home Friday and cried, cried, cried. Then I took a hot bath & went to bed. I got stuff done over the weekend, and yesterday, since I was home sick. The weekend was lousy - I basically wallowed in self pity, which I totally hate!

In any case, the hubster landed a real job! A job that not only pays pretty well, but a company that actually takes out taxes! So, they seem to consider him more permanent than these places that just work you for a little while then send you on your way with a 1099 and your taxes all out of whack. I have my fingers crossed, and my toes, and my boobs... :-)

I was feeling better last night and rode the bike for an hour while the son was in tae kwon do. I got up early to walk, but it was super nasty. So, I packed my gym bag and plan to leave work a half hour early so I can hit the elliptical for 30 minutes. I have to get back to exercising. It will make me feel better, and hopefully my pants will start fitting better too!

Hubby is out of town, but will be coming home tonight or tomorrow. The company does restorations, and they are doing the chancellor's residence of the university here in town. So he'll be working on that. We still need the $ the other guy owes him, so keep your fingers crossed on that one!

Crap Crap Crap

So, hubby calls me after work to let me know he is on the way home. Basically, they ran out of supplies at the job he was working on. The boss was supposed to come down earlier in the week to bring more stuff and/ or go to Lowe’s. Instead he never calls and never shows. Finally he hears from the guy around 8 last night. In a nutshell, he has no money for material or to pay them. He owes my husband for two weeks of work – roughly $1600. Yeah, we kinda need that money.

In related news, I am up another 1.5 pounds – for a total holiday weight gain (so far) of 4 pounds! This sucks.

I'm sure this is the most inspiring weight loss journal ever created.

Climbing Out of the (Diet) Pit of Despair

Food -wise, I give yesterday a "scary" on a scale of 1 to 10. Not that any binges occurred, but I wound up booking 2 "heavy" meals on the same day. I was taken out to lunch as a thank you for some charity work (to the Ch0p H0use). I had a couple of bites of the apps - calamari with a fab asian sesame sauce and 3 oysters rockefeller. Then grilled salmon in a pathetic attempt to offset 2 decadent sides: fettucine alfredo and creamed spinach. Luckily nice restaurants give you great food instead of huge portions. I enjoyed every bite and had no guilt, but then ate a knockwurst for dinner (280 cals) plus 2 beers. I seriously doubt my 30 minutes on the bike offset all that! :-O Luckily today is 2 light meals!

Also, I got up for a 2 mile walk this morning, and did a 20 minute walk at lunch.

Random observations:

I had never done the exercise bike before - I used the one that is more like a real bike so the motion was up and down versus the recumbant. Pretty good workout, although I should have upped the intensity.

I only did 30 minutes because I wanted to go call my mom without my son around (he was in tae kwon do). He broke down in tears before we left the house saying he didn't feel like going. They have another belt test coming up in 2 1/2 weeks and he gets major performance anxiety. I tried to reassure him that he had plenty of time to prepare and that hubby would help him practice his forms. He finally cleaned up & we went - he felt better after that so I am glad we went. I don't want to push him into activities, but I don't want him to let insecurity hold him back from things he wants to do either.

Return to Normalcy

Things are getting more back to normal around here. Yesterday food was on plan except 2 fig newtons (180 calories) and 1 Miller Lite. I went to the gym and lifted weights (chest & back), 20 minutes on the elliptical, and sat in the sauna for a few minutes.I was a little joyless in the beginning, but felt good after. This morning I got up at 5:18 and walked 2 miles. So the day is off to a good start!

One Holiday Down....

T-day was very nice. My sister & her boyfriend came over, along with my mom & MIL. It was a very relaxed day as I had cleaned the house & done a lot of prep work the day before. I had plenty of time to visit, which was fun.

Went to the doctor today. Weight is the same (still up 2 pounds), other than that, I have one new supplement to try.

Hubby is still out of town. This is the way it is for a while, so its time to stop using it as an excuse to stress eat, and instead work on relieving some of the stress. I planned simpler meals for myself & the boy this week, and included a meal out. I am going to the gym tonight.

I realized that this time last year I was tri training, and this year I have nothing. I think I need to re-commit to my running. Let's face it - it's not so cold here I have to invest in a bunch of fancy gear or anything. But I need to commit to more exercise.

I will get up at 5 and work out for the rest of the week!

And Silence Descends upon Blogdom

The blogs are quiet. I guess a lot of people are travelling, busy, etc. I am at work for a half day, then a haircut (much needed), and then home to cook! I took the pumpkin out of the freezer, and some extra chicken broth. My son is going to polish the silver and we are setting the table with my great grandmother's china. I am so excited. This is one of my favorite holidays :-)

I am thankful for my family, and for my home, and for my job. My son and I went shopping for the foster kids yesterday, and he helped me pick out toys. I was very proud of him.

Holidays and Gratitude

A woeful lack of gratitude has been running rampant in our family lately. I am guilty certainly, but I’m not the only one.

You know, I was all stressed because hubby was home last week, waiting to get paid. Then I’m all stressed because he left to go work out of town, and I was left with a bunch of stuff to do to get ready for the holiday.

My son was griping about Christmas the other day – what he was (and wasn’t) getting, about not being able to do what he wanted all the time (who can do that, really?).

Our whole lack of gratitude it pissing me off. I wish we had more money. Well we don’t. But we have enough to pay our bills, have our family over for the holidays, and give each other a little something. I am taking action. Here at work they make a big deal over the local Fox network’s “Gifts for Kids” program. They collect gifts for kids in the local foster care system. Kids can request specific gifts. So, I went to the board and pulled off 3 gifts: Michael is 9 (same age as my son) and he wants a “Thomas the Train”, Justin is 12 and he wants pants (size 14/16), and Christopher Ryan is 4 and would like Hot Wheels. I figure my son can help me pick out the gifts. I have also signed us up to work at the warehouse on Saturday the 11th, sorting the toys and matching undesignated gifts to wish lists. Maybe that will improve both of our attitudes.

Maybe I will stop obsessing about my weight and food if I focus on the big picture instead of the scale.

Nope, Nothing Profound Here

This weekend, I fell into the "I'm overwhelmed" trap. Hubby went out of town for work early Sunday am, leaving me a messy house, cooking, and holiday prep. Ugh. More work than 1 human could do. So, I had taco chips and beer (no cheese dip at least). On the plus side, I walked 2 miles each day and I am going to the gym tonight. I feel so far off-track that I can't even find the track.

Consuming More Calories Causes Weight Gain!!!!

In shocking news, I have discovered the following: Bad eating habits plus drinking beer like Budweiser is about to go bankrupt minus regular exercise equals weight gain! Who would have guessed????

So, I’m up 2.5 pounds. Not a lot, but enough to snap me out of it. This will be a short post as I have to go and plan my meals for the entire weekend, as opposed to eating whatever crap sounds good.

Walked one mile (in addition to my 30 at work) last night, plus lifted weights. Legs and shoulders. Did the same leg workout as the time before, but this time my legs aren’t nearly as sore – so that’s a good thing.

Legs:
Squats: 90/12 100/10 120/8
Leg press: 160/12 180/10 200/8
Adductor: 70/12 80/10 90/8
Leg extension: 65/12 70/11 75/8
Abductor: 70/12 80/10 90/8
Leg curl: 50/10

Shoulders:
Shoulder press: 15/12 20/12 25/8
Rotator cuff: 7.5/15 x 2
Lat raises: 12.5/12 12.5/12 15/8

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Imagine if you will, watching a train. It's about to wreck - you see its about to wreck, but you are helpless to change it. Now change your perspective and see the same events, but you are on the train. Now change perspectives again and imagine yourself the conductor. A part of your brain knows you have the power to change the events in motion, yet a part of you is frozen and watches without taking action. There is my current food plan in a nutshell.

Yesterday's series of unfortunate events: 1) I exploded my oatmeal in the microwave. I brought in my lean turkey ham, thinking I would eat the Balance bar in my desk drawer with it. Instead I bought a biscuit to put it on. 2) An evil chubby girl possessed my body, took it upstairs, and bought a sugar cookie to go with my otherwise benign afternoon snack. At 95 cents, you know that cookie was the size of a dessert plate! 3) My family rose up in rebellion and declared they wanted to go out for dinner (okay, its been over a month since the family went out to eat dinner). Pizza was consumed - I did have the decency to order light cheese.

Why why why am I doing this to myself?

Two steps forward, three steps back

Went to the gym last night, but skipped my walk and had cheese dip & beer while watching "Shrek 2". I have to say that movie is hysterical. I also have to say I think sometimes I teach my son bad eating habits.

I made sloppy joe's and potato salad for dinner last night - both homemade, and very yum. Tonight is a little healthier :-)

Trying not to beat myself up. My goal is to maintain for the next few weeks. If I can stay at 151, I will be in a happy place. We'll see- this Friday will probably find me up a pound or 2 already :-(

I have mapped out my to do list for the next few days, putting exercise at the top. I feel so much better when I take better care of myself. But stress keeps forcing me to go to the fridge for comfort. Old habits die hard. Damn caveman survival instincts! Yeah, that's what I'll blame... Just kidding - mostly.

I'd Rather be Cross Stitching

Outdoor girl had disappeared. She has been replaced by Cross stitching girl (aka "June Cleaver Clone"), who is happy to sit in her comfy chair and cross stitch Christmas ornaments after dinner. Walk? Outside? It's cold and dark out there!

Having said that, I did walk 2 miles last night. Food was not perfect yesterday. I did not bring sufficient lunch, causing an unplanned trip to the cafeteria, which resulted in a piece of pizza. I planned great lunches for the week, but forgot to cook them.

I am going to the gym tonight. What I want to do is crawl into a tub of hot water and soak. What I will do is biceps, triceps, and low back. I brought my workout book to the office. My workout is written out, complete with starting weight for each exercise. I am being kind and only doing 2 bicep exercises - but 1 is 21s, so that seems fair. I also plan to use the elliptical. Sometimes I just have to be firm with myself.

Just a Nice Weekend

Nothing magical here. Just the Monday morning after a really nice weekend. Lots of good stuff done - house cleaned, food cooked, ornaments cross-stitched. No binges, no food regrets. While I am feeling puffy, I know why - and it's actually not about what I ate this weekend. :-)

I Feel like Bustin' Loose

That's me, in my smallest jeams (that fit). Okay, maybe not really. They feel okay, but they were a tad loose last week. Must stop the insanity.

In addition to the car drama, there was this huge shooting incident right down the street from us last night. It was a property dispute, which ended with 3 people dead (including one reserve deputy), another deputy (his SIL) shot, and the shooter in the hospital. What a huge mess. The deputy that was killed owns the place we take our cars to get worked on. One lady was killed, and her husband was at the beach so they sent a family member down to tell him about her murder. The boy & I went to the gas station around the corner from our house to get a cream soda last night, and the police had their command post set up in the parking lot. He thinks someone died in a car accident. I don't know why he thinks it was a wreck (I guess that's what he associates a butt-load of emergency vehicles with), but needless to say I haven't told him what really happened. There were over 100 police & emergency personnel at the scene at one point.

I am just waiting for 4:45, so I can put this miserable week behind me. This is one of those weeks I wish you could by anti-depressants over the counter, ya know?

Thought for the day: Life is not a box of chocolates. More like a jar of jalapeno peppers. It comes back the next day and bites you in the A$$.

The Perfect Country & Western Song

So, my car breaks down the day my husband goes out of town. Battery? Maybe. Can't get it out of garage, can't get battery out of car. Driving loaner (I can't afford) which has to be turned in promptly at 9 am Saturday - the same time as the bench press competition.

I am so not caring right now it is scary.

P-M-S Spells Hunger

I just ate half my afternoon snack. I was beginning to get a headache from hunger. I'm not talking cravings, I'm talking genuine hunger. PMS stinks.

Me Hunter Gatherer

I realized this morning how much time I spend planning, preparing, and consumig food. It's sad. Sunday afternoon is generally dedicated to prepping veggies, cooking a couple of meals, making the bread etc.

A typical morning would be this: Get up, brush teeth, go to kitchen. Feed dogs. Throw ingredients into the bread machine if we need more bread. Throw dinner into the crockpot if its not already prepared from Sunday (I use my crockpot at least once a week), pack lunches for everyone, pack my breakfast, dish up son's breakfast so he can heat it up when its time to eat. If its like today, I then throw on some jeans, comb my hair, & maybe dab on a little powder & eyeliner b/c I am running late!

When we get home it's prep dinner & unload dishwasher while son is doing homework. After dinner (if hubby is home) he will usually load the dishwasher while I walk. Unfortunately, he is going out of town again this week. But it's money, so I will stop my whining.

Yesterday was good on the health front:

Exercise: 3 mile walk, plus 30 minute walk at work, chest & back at the gym.

Food:
B: Kashi cereal with skim milk
S: 1 lowfat string cheese & baby carrots
L: leftover steak, 1/2 baked sweet potato, green beans, a fun size milky way (stolen from the boy's Halloween candy).
S: 1 lowfat string cheese and an apple
D: chicken casserole and sauteed zucchini
S: 2 yeast rolls (homemade, I had to make sure they tasted good. they did.)

Takin’ Out the Trash!

I am more change averse than the average bear. I am very much a creature of habit, and I love consistency as much as any 3 year old. These past couple of weeks (including this weekend) really haven’t been all that hot. Yes, part of it has been the changes (hubby out of town, losing my workout partner, time change, weather getting colder). And I tend to get kinda down this time of year. I love fall, but despise winter, so I tend to get a little depressed when I have to turn on the heat.

It’s okay to get down, it’s okay to let your program slide for a bit, but then it’s time to “take out the trash.” Get the crap back out of your diet before it can claim permanent resident status. Get back on the treadmill before you forget how to find the gym. Don’t wanna? That’s okay. Validate your feelings, give yourself a hug, and then go do it anyway. I always feel good taking that first step back into the wagon.

Looking around blogdom, I don’t seem to be the only person who has had trouble with their fitness regime and/or their food habits lately. Guess I’m a card carrying member of the human race. Weigh in is this Friday – hopefully I won’t have slipped more than a pound or two.

Going to Plan B (What's my Plan B)?

So, S called me yesterday to let me know she couldn't meet me at the gym since she got fired!!!! Ugh! In a nutshell, they are getting rid of all personal training at the Y. I think it sucks. I really think it sucks b/c she had a membership there since she worked there, and now she doesn't, and now we don't belong to the same gym any more. We've been working out together nearly 2 years people. That's like a long term relationship. And I won't see her outside of the gym much. This sucks.

It really sucks b/c we were going to decide on my weights for the bench press competition. I am feeling really unconfortable now - like my security blanky has been stolen or something. Hubby will have to spot while I do upper body. This does not work well. I am not happy. Yes, I sound like a brat.

No weigh in this week. I will report back next week. I confess I'm kinda relieved - hasn't been a great week calorie-wise. Stop the insanity!!!!!

Weird Week

This is one of those weeks where all I want to do is be a couch potato (and eat). After 2 weeks of being "in the groove", this is not feeling good at all. Part of it is I am getting a cold. Madly flushing my sinuses with salt water and hoping to feel better soon.

Recovering from the carbohydrate hangover

So, yesterday was a blur of tiredness, hunger, and bloat. Carb hangover anyone? Ugh. I managed not to overeat, got a good night's sleep, and drank plenty of water. Unfortunately, I had a bunch of stuff I had to do when I got home, so exercise was minimal.

I just hope this week doesn't set me too far back. Sometimes I embarrass myself.

Luckily, Halloween only come once a year

Because in my world, Halloween weekend consists of sitting around watching horror movies while consuming pizza and beer. Or spagetti and beer. Or popcorn and diet pepsi, for variety.

After carefully going through the tv guide and highlighting all the movies I wanted to either watch or tape (I taped 9), I did manage to watch most of them. I missed the end of Howling II (I fell asleep), which is a shame because in my book it's a classic.

Hubby was out of town, so I had the house all to myself. It was fun, but I really don't want to do it again for a while. My stomach still hurts from eating & drinking way too much crap. How much weight can you gain in one weekend???

My friend Robin assures me that it is a sign of my utter weirdness that I spent Sunday afternoon cross stitching a nativity scene Christmas ornament while watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I Rock

I maintained my 2.5 pound loss from last week. That is a lot for me to lose in one week, so I did not expect to lose any more this week. I am glad I maintained. Plus I switched from my “summer” weigh in clothes to my “winter” weigh in clothes, which I believe (rightly or wrongly) weigh more. Maybe 4 ounces, but it’s a mental thing. And I like to weigh in basically the same clothes to be consistent.

Good workout last night. I did chest and back (but I left my workout book in my gym bag so I can’t record it here until Monday). I also did 10 minutes on the elliptical for 110 calories (why? Because I had 2 cups of swiss miss sugar free cocoa instead of one, so I felt the need to burn off those 100 calories. Do I believe the elliptical trainer is that accurate on calories burned? Of course not. Just more weird mental issues).

When I got home from the gym, I walked 1 mile with my son then 2 miles on my own. I also walked 30 minutes at work. The weather has been perfect for walking, and I am really enjoying it. I’ll keep it up till I get bored.

Speaking of changing it up, S and I are only going to lift 1 day a week together, so I have to switch up my workouts. So I need to be thinking about that. I will most likely drop Monday’s step class and Wednesday’s water aerobics so that I can lift then. That way I can lift 3 days per week. We’ll see.

Have a great weekend!

Yesterday's Food

For the interested:

B: 1 cup kashi w/ 1 cup skim milk
S: 1 string cheese & baby carrots
L: seafood casserole (leftover), turnip greens, asparagus
S: apple & 1 string cheese
S: 1/2 a Twix
D: beef stew in the crock pot (made with sweet potatoes instead of white ones - really good!) and 1/2 piece homemade whole wheat bread, salad

Legs of Jello-O

I did my 3 mile walk last night, although it was slower than normal. I walked after we got home from the gym, and my legs were jelly! Here’s why:

Legs:
Squats: 90/12 100/12 110/12
Leg press: 160/12 180/10 200/8
Leg extentions: 50/12 55/10 60/8
Curls: 65/12 65/10 75/8
Abductor: 70/15 80/12 90/10
Adductor: 70/15 80/12 90/8

Shoulders:
Overhead press: 15/15 20/12 25/10
Lat raise: 10/12 10/10 12.5/8
Rotator cuff: 7.5/12 7.5/15
Front raises: 10/12 12.5/12 15/10

Eating was really excellent! I was totally craving chocolate and had to stop by the grocery on the way home. I bought a Twix, but threw half away on my way out of the store. I thoroughly enjoyed the other half though :-)

It’s all about the Weights

I’m feeling better today. I won’t say there isn’t a pit of fear in my stomach about my hubby’s work situation. It occupies a great deal of my thought, as it does his. But there is very little I can do about it. And eating pizza won’t help.

Yesterday was better. Yes, I did have most of a piece of pizza for lunch (with a salad). But I got over myself. Went to the gym after work for 30 minutes on the elliptical and some weight training (HARD weight training – good for the stress levels!).

Here’s what I did:

Db curls: 20/12 20/12 25/9
Dips (between weight benches) 25/15 30/15 35/15

21s 15/7 each way, twice
tri kickbacks 12.5/12 15/10

cable tri 75/12 80/10 85/8
cable bi 50/10 50/10 55/10

The weights took a little over a half an hour. I planned to finish with pull-ups, but my arms were toast! And my mind was at peace, at least for a little while.

Made a healthy dinner, with a sugar free pudding cup for dessert, and a faux beer consumed later while soaking in the tub. I also walked 30 min at work (moderate pace), a mile with my son, and 2 fast miles. Pretty good day all around!

I Suck

Sorry, but that's how I feel right now. I had most of a piece of pizza for lunch. Must stop wallowing in self pity.

STRESS!!!!!

That was my day yesterday. Hubby still hasn't found a job. He was offered one yesterday, but it was 3 hours away. We figured after gas & a hotel room for the week, there would be just enough left to buy groceries. And our life would be miserable, and he couldn't look for anything closer.

He has never been out of work this long. Where are all those jobs that got created? Not here, that's for damn sure.

And my training partner is sick, and I cannot bench press with my husband. I tired last night - I was so out of it - it was pitiful. Ugh.

Oh Yeah Baby!

I'm a big loser! I'm a big loser!!!! :-) Down 2.5 pounds this week to 151 - am all-time low since I started this journey 3 years ago! I hit 152 once in May, but other than that, I've been stuck between 153 and 155 since March. I know last week was "water retention week", but all that tells me is that I had lost a little that prior week, and then lost again this week! Yes!!!!!!! I feel very good going into the weekend!

Yesterday I did 17 HARD minutes on the elliptical, lifted weights (biceps, triceps, shoulders) and then after dinner fast walked 2 miles then walked another mile with my son.

The Difference Between Goals and Dreams

Here’s my profound thought of the day (not that I have one every day you understand): The difference between a goal and a dream is that you work toward a goal. I dream about winning the lottery, but it can hardly be considered a goal. For one, I have only so much control over it. But completing a triathlon was a goal for me, I trained for it, and I did it. Lately, weight loss has felt more like a dream than a goal. I’d love for it to happen, but my overall eating hasn’t gotten me closer to achieving it.

After last weekend, there seems to be a subtle shift in both my thinking and my actions. The little things I’m NOT doing (cruising by a co-worker's desk for a piece of candy, eating something because the last thing I ate filled me up but didn’t fill my “enjoyment”) are adding up to help me feel not so out of control. And that’s nice.

BTW, water aerobics was fun. Not nirvana, but fun. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being sitting on the sofa, 10 being running from an axe murderer), I usually try to work out between a 7 and an 8. I give water aerobics a 6.5 (sometimes down to 6, sometimes up to 7). I will probably do it again.

Losing Weight is Exciting and Maybe Even Glamarous

Not eating food when you are bored is neither, but necessary.

Fitness Malaise

I’m bored with my workout routine. Not the weights. Never the weights. I love me some weight training! But cardio is another story. I like the feel of my body working hard and the “high” I get from it, and the calorie burning thing is also nice. But when it comes to cardio, I suffer from “short attention span theater.”

I like an activity for a while, but can’t get “into” it long enough to get really good. Lap swimming is fine, riding my bike is nice (I don’t get to do it as much as I would like!), running has become dullsville, and my recent attempts at rekindling my former love affair with step class have fallen a little short. What’s a girl to do?

Tonight I am going to deep water aerobics, followed by “body pump” – also in the deep water. 75 minutes of what I am assured is a very good workout. Water aerobics gives me visions of matrons in those horrid plastic swim caps with the flowers from the 70’s, but I am going to ignore my own preconceived notion and step into the water-filled box. I’ll keep you posted.

Yesterday:

Exercise: Semper Gumby. I had to pick up the boy and take him to tutoring, so I didn’t get to do anything until a little after 8 when I had finished cleaning the kitchen. I elected to take a walk. A fast walk. I walked for 50 minutes. It felt wonderful! I could have walked for hours, but I had to read to my son and tuck him in. I may have found a new evening routine!

Food: Also very good. I’m doing the kashi cereal and light soy milk thing for breakfast. Snacks are a string cheese with veggies in the morning, and a string cheese with a piece of fruit in the afternoon. Lunches are boca spicy chik patty on whole wheat with more veggies at lunch. Hot veggies – I’m off salads for a while. Dinner last night was lean ground beef made into Salisbury steak type deals, sautéed and I made a little gravy. Mashed “faux-tay-toes” (a mix of mashed potatoes and mashed cauliflower) and creamed spinach. I use a little each of evoo (extra virgin olive oil) and butter, and use skim buttermilk – it comes out nice & thick with a good flavor without adding any extra fat. I ate small-ish portions, cleaned the kitchen, and then went for my walk. So I think I did good.

I saw a box of pizza rolls in the freezer – part of me said “you’ve been good. Why don’t you have some pizza rolls and a beer for a treat? You deserve it!” I told her to blow it out her butt.

Insert Snappy Title Here

Where do I begin?

Food: Still pretty darn good! I had some baked taco chips with salsa and a faux beer when I got home from the gym, but otherwise did excellent yesterday. I portioned out the salsa & stopped with the chips when I ran out!

Exercise: Not as much as I would like. S wasn’t back from Texas (she went to Austin to ride with Lance), so I didn’t do any weight training last night. We had a sub in step. I couldn’t get into it. Maybe my love affair with step is firmly in the past. Today I am going for a walk here at work (which I do nearly every day for 30 minutes) and either a walk or a jog this evening. We’ll see how I feel.

How I feel: Lousy. It’s not TOM I despise so much, it’s the cramps. I am drinking a cup of sugar free cocoa and feeling sorry for myself as I wait for the 800 mg Motrin to kick in.

Husband’s job: He’s doing a 1 day job today. There are many things I appreciate about him having his own small business. The income uncertainty is not one of them. I wish we could live on just my income, but we aren’t there yet. We’ll see what happens.

Son’s school: In a nutshell: The school has always had 1 pre-school and 1 elementary class. This year, the lady who owns/runs the school “M” expanded the pre-school to 2 classes. Fine, but she also increased the elementary class size 50% with the same space. I think the class is too crowded, and I’m not too sure about the new teacher either to be honest. The fact that she hadn’t read my son’s file and didn’t know he had been diagnosed with a learning disability?!?! WTF!??! For that we’re paying over $700 a month? (Okay, my mom pays most – we just aren’t that well off). I have spoken with some other parents. One other boy won’t be back next year (he’s been there 4 years also) and another mom is also concerned. She is asking M to set up a meeting with some of the parents. We’ll see what happens. But I may be in the market for a new school for my son.

Workout envy: Have you people checked out Lynne’s site? She is doing the things I dream of doing. Maybe when my kid is in college! In the interim, I’ll keep jogging, biking, swimming, stepping, lifting, and whatever else I can think of that is cheap and convenient to take care of the old body.

Much Much Better

This weekend was world’s away from what my weekends have been like lately. It was great for a number of reasons:

1) I took Friday off to run errands and get a head start on the cleaning. I can’t do this every Friday, but I can plan an easy meal (or eat out), run a couple of errands and have that out of the way.
2) I did my grocery shopping on Saturday. I front loaded “chores” and saved Sunday as a day for me. The store was dead at 9 am just like it is on Sunday morning, and this made Sunday less busy. And I had food for the weekend :-)
3) I did housework on Saturday, and took help when it was offered. Hubby cleaned the bathrooms while I was doing the shopping. That and the vacuuming helped a lot.
4) I had time to do stuff I wanted! I made myself a vintage-style apron! I mended the pile of clothes that had been dragging me down. I made home-made wheat rolls with my son. We made flan just because he wanted to. I did more housework on Sunday (like cleaning up the pile of junk in the corner of the dining room), but because I wanted to do it, I didn’t mind.

I don’t know if it was because I was finally able to relax, or my good eating helped me to relax, but my eating was really good this weekend. I didn’t get in as much exercise as I would have liked, but hey – 2 rest days instead of 1 isn’t a huge deal. For the first time in a long time I feel that my weekend eating didn’t hinder my weight loss efforts! Big smiley face for me for that!

Master of Maintenance and Other Random Thoughts

I used the elliptical for 30 minutes for 320 calories. I went home and the combination of stress (son’s school situation) and PMS drove me to eat an ice cream sandwich (270 calories). Boy I’m glad I finished that workout!

I hate PMS. In addition to the ice cream, I had a bag of Wow Doritos (120 cal) and a granola bar (110 cal). Other than that, my eating was very good.

We pay a lot of money to have my son in a private school. I have liked the low student to teacher ratio (never more than 12 students per class) and the fact that his teachers spent a lot of time with him. This is very important because he has difficulty with reading due to a learning disability. Well, this year the woman in charge has decided to begin expanding the school. There are 17 students in his class and the teacher had no fricking clue he even had a learning disability. She kept saying he wasn’t “working up to his potential.” Go read his damn file before you hand me that crap. Ugh.

Last year after vacation/beginning of the school year I gained 10 pounds. This year I have gained 3 and it is already gone. That is a yay. The not-so-yay is the fact that I have been at my current weight for nearly 18 months. I’m glad I know what I need to do to maintain and how to eat, but I’d really like to lose a little more weight. Ugh.

I am taking tomorrow off. Normal eating and a spinning class. Saturday is a run, yoga, and I dunno food plan. I’ll keep you posted.

T-I-R-E-D spells tired.

I’m beat! I took a 40 minute walk during lunch yesterday. Got home, helped my son with homework, then did another 40 minute walk. Fixed supper, ate, took a bath, and helped with more homework. Read him a chapter of Dr. Doolittle and called it a night. I was in bed by 9:30, yet could not manage to drag my carcass out of bed this morning to run.

Tonight I am taking son to tkd, so I will do something at they gym. I will get a workout in, just not a run. I’m thinking elliptical.

Food yesterday was very good:

B: Smoothie (1 c berries, about 1T flax oil, 1 T ground flax seed, and 2 scoops protein)
S: 1 deviled egg and raw veggies
L: leftover “fried” rice (homemade), a cup of hot & sour soup, and a side salad
S: half a grapefruit and a deviled egg
S2: granola bar (110 calories)
D: lean pork chop with a bit of gravy, baked butternut squash, braised cabbage, and an O’Doul’s faux beer

Friday I may meet my husband out for lunch, but other than that, normal day. Saturday some type of restricted diet with a treat that night while watching tv, then planned day Sunday. I eat less if I eat out at lunch (and its cheaper). We’ll see.

Doing Battle with my Inner Slug

Some people have an inner child. I suffer an inner slug. She has bleached blond hair, is 40 pounds overweight, and drinks PBR. She’s been trying for years to escape and take over around here. She’s so overbearing that until recently I didn’t even know there was an inner athlete cohabitating with her.

Yesterday was pretty good. Cooked a nice (and healthy!) dinner for the family & hit the gym for Monday night step and weight lifting. We worked back and chest pretty hard, thank you very much.

The problem is, after working out from 6:30 to 8:30 Monday evening, it is pretty tough to get up at 5 to run Tuesday morning. I didn’t run this morning. I did take a 40 minute walk at work, and I will take a second walk this evening. I think I will move my runs to Wednesday and Thursday mornings. They are short enough that back to back is fine. Then I can do weights and step again on Thursday. Wednesday if I take the boy to tae kwon do I can do yoga, swim, or some time on a machine. That way I won’t be tired out for my Thursday run. That just means I need to figure out something to do Tuesdays – an afternoon bike ride or something.

I feel like the stress is beginning to let up. I hope that feeling continues.

Better

That was my weekend. Yes, I had some food I didn't plan. But I did much better with what I ate than I usually do. I still have a way to go, but I did better.

I am still feeling gloomy. I still haven't pinned down a reason.

The Lady or the Tiger

The past couple of days have been rough. Do you ever feel depressed, and then feel guilty for feeling depressed because you have no real reason? I mean, yah, my husband doesn’t have a job Monday. That’s part of the stress of having your own business. We have money in the bank to tide us over for a little bit until something comes in. But I’ve never gotten used to it.

Anyway, I feel guilty for feeling depressed. I mean, we have our health, a house, blah blah. I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way, which then makes it worse. Yesterday, I just gave in. I denied myself nothing. I had a breakfast burrito from Sonic, chocolate off a co-worker’s desk, a bag of Wow Doritos (A small snack bag), Japanese for dinner, and beer after. And today I feel done with that.

I love to eat. I love food. I love the taste of hot cheese dip, washed down with an ice cold beer. But I hate what it does to my body. I hate how it makes me feel like less of a person after. It’s just some food. Why does it have so much power over me?

I didn’t work out last night. I didn’t run this morning. Don’t worry – I walked twice yesterday and today is weights and step class. But still. I feel like I am letting myself down. Days I overeat I look back on and feel that they are wasted. I hate that.

Groundhog Day

Why must every day be day 1 in my plan to eat healthier? Ugh.

I worked out last night, do I look like a fitness model yet?

I wish my life were more like a merry-go-round, as opposed to a roller coaster. I went out with my sister for lunch, and had a gyro & salad & unsweet tea. Yay me. Ate great all day yesterday. Yay me.

Went shopping for something to wear to my reunion in the afternoon. Nothing fit. I bet I would have had better luck in the maternity department. I bought a skirt, but I am very dissatisfied. The Kohl’s dressing room is the bane of my existence. Boo.

Went home, had a light dinner & hit the gym. Step class followed by chest, back, and triceps. I benched 135. I rule. Went home & had a little more dinner (a WW meat loaf recipe & green beans), read to my son, and hit the sack. Got up this morning for a 2 mile run. Not the fastest in the world, but I did it.

Today I am hungry! I had my snack, then a bag of Wow Doritos (120 calories – not bad). I have good food packed, a good dinner (already cooked!), and I am going to keep mushing on.

Here’s the thing. Some overweight people eat whatever they want and obsess about what they wish they could wear. Some thin women wear great clothes and fantasize about food. I feel I have the worst of both worlds. I watch what I eat (during the week), work out like a fiend, and still can’t wear the clothes I want. Here’s the site that got me thinking about that particular subject.

But I could have those 25 pounds I’ve lost back, and a holding action is better than that. I am very hopeful that I will feel less overwhelmed when hubby is back from this out of town job - this Friday! Woo Hoo! See, up and down! A roller coaster.

You Can Learn a Lot Handing out Donughts

So, our annual Employee Giving Campaign kicked off today, encouraging people to give to various charities (you pick your own of course!). To make people aware, we were handing out donughts and coffee as people came in the building this morning.

First of all, I work about 15 miles from Krispy Kreme HQ, so that is what we were handing out. And also, I realize that where I work (a call center) is not exactly a cross section of America - the vast majority of jobs here take "sedentary" to new heights.

It was very interesting to see what sort of people took donughts, compared with the ones that walked by after saying "No thanks." I think I wanna be in the "no thanks" group. While I don't believe Krispy Kreme is the root of all evil, I am grateful I don't really like them because they are a prime example of all that is wrong with food choices in America.

A fabulous weekend - loads of hiking, and a short run. House in awesome shape with steam-cleaned rugs. Two decadent restaurant meals consumed, along with 12 beers (over the course of the weekend). I'm not sure even 4.5 hours of hiking (some pretty strenuous) plus a 2 mile run offset lasagna one night and hush puppies and artichoke dip (yes, that was my dinner) the next. Groan. I deserve a stomach ache.

I am going to step class and lift weights tonight. Why must my 4 days of pristine eating merely offset my weekends????

On the plus side, this is hubby's last week out of town! Now, he has no work lined up for next week (the price of having his own business), but I am just grateful this is coming to an end. One cause of stress eating eliminated.

Also on the bright side: our big August vacation is always immediately followed by the boy going back to school. Last year I gained 10 pounds after these 2 events occurred and it took months to get it off. This year, I gained 3 pounds and they are now gone. I am 1.5 pounds away from my lowest weight of the past 3.5 years.

The fat flush got nearly 2 pounds gone - this past week was a holding action, and now for another push. I will not give up.

The Fog

It’s just not a cheesy horror flick by John Carpenter. It’s super foggy here today. They are calling for scattered thunderstorms today and tomorrow. I dunno about this whole camping thing. I’ll see what it’s like when I pick the boy up at 2:30. I may have wasted a half day off. We’ll see.

Going Camping

We are going camping this weekend! I'm only working half a day tomorrow, so no weigh in until next week.

Nothing too exciting to report - I ran 2 "junk" miles this morning - nothing very memorable about the run other than the fact that I did it. Son had a pizza party at tkd last night. I had 2 pieces of pizza and a diet sprite.

This has been a very "off" week food wise. I had a little bag of Oreos out of the vending machine. I have no idea why - I don't even like them that much. I think it's stress and a vague feeling of a weird kind of dissatisfaction over nothing in particular. Sometimes I think I obsess over my feelings too much.

I have decent food to take camping, which I will purchase and prep tonight to go into the cooler. So, Saturday's eating is fairly regimented since I'll be in the middle of the woods. That just leaves Sunday to worry about.

Tonight I am lifting after work - legs, shoulders, and finish up those bis & tris I started Monday. I have decided to make the Monday night step class part of my routine - I had forgotten that I liked step.

Personal Space

I have personal space issues. Maybe it was those years living behind a wall and riding the subway with the 4 million Germans also crammed behind that wall. Maybe it was living on an island. Maybe it's genetic. I dunno. I don't like strangers hugging me. And I don't like people talking to me while I'm trying to run on the treadmill! I think between my headphones and avidly reading the close captioning on the History Channel, I conveyed the message. I was trying so hard to get into the zone. I was really stressed and desperately needed to unwind, which I failed to achieve at the gym. But hubby bought beer. Which always works, damnit.

I hate my poochy belly. I could live with every other part of my body - thighs, hips, all of it. But I really hate my stomach, which looks like a partially deflated balloon. Yuck.

Awesome Music

I do believe I plugged djajax.com before, but please let me do it again. CDs came - naturally I had to listen to them before giving them to hubby (I wanted to make sure they were good). Oh my God! Fire It Up has got to be the best workout CD ever made!!! Go to his site, listen to the clip, and then order it!!!!!!!!

Exercise Happens

Well, wound up grabbing a quick bite out before taking son to tae kwon do. Did pretty good, but did have soda yesterday :-(

Last night I went to step class, then lifted weights. We did back, chest, and a quick super set of bis & tris. Will do more bis & tris Thursday.

Also, I forgot to mention but I did run Saturday morning. It was a quickie since we were headed out of town, but I did squeeze in a 4 miler.

It is raining hard today. We had a tornado touch down within a couple of miles of our house last night. Hubby is taking the boy to tutoring, so I am going by the gym to run on a "dreadmill" this evening. Better than nothing.

Weekend Disaster #973

Ugh. Some things are getting better. Some things continue to suck. Sunday was bad, but better in that it didn’t start to go down the toilet until 5 pm. So that is better. Of course, I managed to get it pretty far down the toilet.

Friday evening was bad. I got home at 7. I left work at 4. Three hours of running errands people – and I didn’t even finish them all! I was ravenous & bought a burger. Then went home & had beer & some cheese sticks with hubby.

Saturday wasn’t too bad. We went to a medieval thing over in Fuquay-Varina (yes, that is really the name of a town). Would have been fine but hubby insisted we stay, and someone gave us beer. Like a 12 pack! Oh god - well, we shared it around at least. So, a few beers & a decadent meal later, I was on the road home (in the passenger seat of course!)

Lessons learned. If I am running errands on Friday, have a dinner in the crock pot. Gotta do something about Sundays, but I am improving. My husband is a food pusher (like that’s news!).

What time is it?

I guess it's because I've been here since 6:30, but I am so ready to start the weekend, you know? Oh well, 3 more hours. Until then, I have work to do!

TGIF – And Weigh In – Woo Hoo!!!!!

Well, hurray for Friday. Hurray for hubby coming home last night so I could make a yummy supper for my family. And hurray for 1.5 pounds of yuck got from my body after 4 days of doing the Fat Flush Plan.

That may not sound like a lot from one Friday to the next, but believe me, when you have less than 15 pounds to get to goal, the stuff barely moves. It is so hard. But I am now back to my pre-vacation weight, and 1.5 pounds away from “virgin fat territory” – which I fully expect to see next week!

I have a good dinner planned for tonight and I am running all my errands here in this town after work today. (I work one town over from where I live – the distance isn’t a lot, but it’s a pain to come over here for errands). I intend to plan my menu for the weekend before I leave so I can get what I need at least through breakfast Sunday. I plan to stay on this plan all weekend. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Part of me wants to take down yesterday’s post, cause it’s so whiny. But I am leaving it up – because it’s true.

Have a great weekend.

Confession is Good for the Soul

I’m not Catholic, but even I know admitting your wrongdoings is a good step in not repeating them and moving on. So, here goes:

Yesterday, my grandmother went to the hospital (she had passed out). I was worried & upset, so I was feeling a bit “Fragile.” Then, my sister calls just to chat (cause she just started a new job). We discussed the “grandma situation” (i.e. the fact that she cut me & my family & mom out of her life) (the other grandmother) and wound up having the most honest discussion we’ve ever had about why I don’t speak to my dad. It was a good discussion, but it brought a lot of stuff I don’t normally spend a lot of time thinking about to the surface.

So, I was all teary and upset when I left the office (she called right before I left for the day). I tried calling my mom but she didn’t have time to talk because she was visiting a friend. I called my husband, but he was busy working. Well, I lost it. He never has time to talk to me when he’s not here. I know they are working from early in the morning until dark, but he can’t even seem to take 10 minutes to talk to me in the morning! I got mad and told him that.

Went home, fixed dinner, took the boy to tae kwon do, and worked out while he did his thing. Went home & started doing housework. He’s watching a movie and I’m beaten down and he says “Don’t forget to dust.” I totally take it the wrong way and start yelling at him. I felt so bad, I went to my room & cried. He cried & felt bad for being rude. I still feel like crap even though we talked about it & I apologized last night & again this morning. Just nominate me for mom of the year. Geez.

Woke up at 4:30 having a nightmare about an argument with my husband where he accuses me of cheating. No way I was going back to sleep, so I got up and went running. I ran two miles, crying the whole time. I felt all the anger that that little girl felt when her dad treated her crappy (me). After I ran, I sat & looked at the stars and realized I had to find a way to let go of my anger. All I could think of was to visualize myself encircling that little girl inside my family and putting her in the middle of what we call a “family hug.” I stopped crying, and felt at peace – at least for a time.

I talked to my husband this morning – he’d woken up at 4 unable to sleep. He didn’t realize he kept blowing me off. Anyway, he is coming home tonight (although he goes back for the day tomorrow), so everything is okay on that front.

My sister wants me to reach out & try to reconcile with my dad. I am scared to make myself vulnerable to him, but I told her I would try. D&*^ my kumbaya singing, peacnik, Episcopalian priest of a sister.

I Feel Good

I don’t know whether it’s the weather, the food, hormones, my fab new haircut & highlights I got last weekend – I don’t know what, but I feel good! Sometimes a little too good, like, “Hello! Could I be manic?” But mostly just cool with things and excited about stuff. So, in no particular order.

Food: Still sticking to the fat flush plan. Yesterday, I ate the same thing as Monday, except I had stir fry for dinner. It was a little plain with no soy sauce, but not too bad. The strange thing about this diet is the effect of flax oil – it really does keep me feeling “not hungry” for hours, even though I haven’t eaten a lot of food. It’s so odd to eat a small to normal sized portion of food and be satisfied.

Exercise: Had a great 2 mile run yesterday morning. The weather was cool & refreshing! I thought about getting up this morning to run again, but opted for a little extra sleep and getting a couple of things done around the house. I took a nice 30 minute walk at work this morning, and I will do a machine this evening while the boy does tae kwon do. So, not getting frantic about it, but doing a little here and there.

Hubby’s work: Still sucks. My mom came over & helped on Monday, taking my son to tae kwon do (I have a great Mom)! I asked hubby if he could come home on Thursday night this week, even though it’s not exactly the middle of the week. Monday and Thursday are my toughest days, so his agreeing to that really helped me out a bunch. Yesterday I planned a very easy dinner, so I got it on the table quick. Tonight all that’s going on is tae kwon do, so I’ll make a quick meal & then we’ll head out. I lift weights on Mondays and Thursdays, and both of us having an activity makes it hectic! And the end is in sight for this job. I’m not normally anxious for a well-paying job to end, but this is getting old.

Shopping: Okay, I don’t like to shop. But I do like to show up for my job looking sort of like I’m a professional person. Last weekend since I had been feeling down I made an appointment for an impromptu haircut. I also asked her to do highlights (new for me). I adore the cut she gave me – it looks like the blond chic on “Andromeda” if you’ve ever seen that. Parted in the middle, kinda sweeping down on one side, and sort “spiky” in the back, but a longer version of that short look. It is maybe 1-2 inches above my shoulders. I have some money to spend on clothes for myself (a rarity) as well as the family. Hubby took his money and he can use it how he sees fit. I bought the boy a bunch of new clothes, and I wanted some new clothes as well. On the way to picking the boy up yesterday, I stopped by Kohl’s. I got 3 pairs of shoes (I am not a shoeholic – I really needed some decent looking, “a little dressy but not too much” shoes for work.) Two pair are sorta like loafers, but with a little heel & a little dressier. One black, one brown. I also got an even dressier pair of black mules. They can easily be worn with slacks also, but they could also go with a skirt. So, I’ve started my quest for some decent work clothes!

Anyway, that’s about it. I hope this weather holds through the weekend because I really want to do a nice long run and a good bike ride!

Food for Pleasure

Eating a fairly regimented food plan is interesting. For example, it is very difficult to use food for pleasure on this plan. I mean, I enjoy the food I’m eating (okay, that protein last night was gross, but besides that) but if you stick with it a lot of your “comfort foods” or “guilty pleasures” are gone. No chips or candy or chocolate. No soda. No “treats”. It’s made me realize that I use food for pleasure all the time. I’m not just talking about binges or obvious stuff like going out for Mexican. I’m talking about every few hours – things like string cheese. Yeah, it’s not a horrible choice, but I didn’t realize how much I looked forward to snack not because I was hungry but because I was craving the taste of the cheese.

The weird thing about this cleanse is that I am full (the flax see oil really helps keep your satiety up for hours), yet I haven’t eaten any “pleasure food”. I’m sitting here right now not hungry, yet feeling like it surely must be time for a treat of something. I can tell this is a huge habit for me. Even my chocolate yogurt in the afternoon. Yes it’s healthy, and yes it’s perfectly normal to select food that you like – but I realize that I’ve been using food to get pleasure from life to a pretty large degree. Losing those options has forced me to look at what I enjoy, if that makes any sense at all. Anyway, just a random afternoon observation.

Day One of the Fat Flush

Well, one day down on the “Fat Flush” diet. I did get a headache yesterday afternoon, which is apparently fairly common in the first 3 days until your body gets used to life without caffeine, sugar, etc. Other than that I felt pretty good. I never got really hungry, which was good.

For the curious, here’s what I ate:

B: smoothie, made with 1 c mixed berries, 1 c diluted cranberry juice water, 1 T flax seed oil, and 1 scoop protein powder.
S: deviled egg (made with flax oil and AP vinegar and spices), and veggie sticks.
L: ground turkey & veggie soup, side salad with flax & lime juice dressing.
S: deviled egg and half a grapefruit.
D: salmon patties, sautéed squash, and a side salad.
S: (after weight lifting) scoop of protein in water.

Exercise: 30 min walk (up and down mild hills), weight training (chest and triceps). The workout was very good – we really worked hard!

I thought I might need the protein after a tough workout, so I had protein in water. I have to say its really nasty that way!

So, I think I did well. The food seems a little boring – but I think its just psychological because I know I’ll be eating this way for 2 – 3 weeks.

MWI (Mowing While Intoxicated)

Crazy busy weekend. Sat down yesterday afternoon, only half done with my cooking & cleaning. But I was beat & needed a break. So I sat down & had a couple of beers. I then realized that it was getting late, hubby was still at work, and the grass really needed mowing. So I went to mow. After I did the side yard, the neighbor called me over & offered me a beer. They then offered me a second one (which I declined on the grounds I had to finish mowing). So I finished mowing, then they called me over for another beer. Oh my gosh – I was snockered! But the yard did get mowed.

I got up early this morning and finished my food prep for the week. I never finished cleaning the house though – I will do that this evening. My mom is going to take my son to tae kwon do, so I’ll actually have time to finish the house!

The Detoxing has Begun

I mentioned I was thinking about trying “The Fat Flush” diet. I ordered the book (used) and it came in the mail Friday. Woo hoo! I browsed it enough to figure out what I was doing, and after taking the boy shopping for school clothes and getting my hair done, I went to all the different stores necessary to collect the food & supplmements I needed. I prepped my veggies & stuff yesterday, and began the cleanse today. We’ll see how it goes.

Performance Anxiety

I confess I am concerned about this weekend. I mean, let's face the cold harsh reality of it: my eating has been terrible over the past few weekends. And each failure (to put a not so pc word on it) just increases my anxiety. What if I can't control my eating? What if I keep gaining weight? Will I blow up like the little girl in "Willy Wonka"? And why was a supposed kid's movie so disturbing anyway?

I dunno about running - my son's school closed after a tornado touched down in our county a little while ago. It's supposed to be thunderstorms all weekend. I may wind up in a spinning class or something instead.

That's another thing. My week is so busy that my girlfriend suggested I do more of my workouts during the weekend. You mean the one where I work cleaning house, running errands, & shopping until Sunday afternoon when I'm too tired to see & order pizza & go buy a 6-pack? Right.

I am getting my hair cut tomorrow. I need something to get me out of this funk, and hair I like (at least for a day) might help. While more expensive than beer, I hope it will be less damaging.

Something's Gotta Give

First off, let me say that I am fully aware I should probably change my legal name to "Wendy Whiner". I mean, I'm getting tired to listening to my whiny self.

So, no workout yesterday. My son had a swollen lymph node which was tender, so I left work early to take him to the doctor. Turns out it was infected, so we went to the drug store to get a prescription filled for him. Went home for supper while we waited (it's only a couple of miles from our house). Because of the unexpected doctor trip plus getting his prescription, I called and re-scheduled his appointment with the tutor for Sunday afternoon. I let him watch a movie for an hour while I took a bath. Then homework, then he took a bath. Then bed! I barely made it to 9 pm.

I am exhausted. Not tired - exhausted. This concerns me because I am getting 8 hours of sleep every night. So why am I so tired? I keep telling myself its just because my days are so non-stop, with no time to recharge my batteries. I just hope its not something more serious than that.

So, back to my title. I am concerned because I know I am not getting my workouts in. No weight lifting this week (I was supposed to go yesterday). No runs since last Saturday. Really, the only exercise I've done is that HIIT on the elliptical. And that's not enough, as shown on the scale today. Up half a pound. It's not so much the half a pound (although I admit that bothers me), its the fact that I am not exercising regularly. I count on my exercise not only to help with my weight loss (or at least maintenance), but also for the energy boost regular workouts provide. It feels like a vicious cycle in the wrong direction.

I can't decide whether I should just sleep in tomorrow, or get up for a long run. I guess I should check the weather. Both have their merits, I just can't decide which I need more right now.

One Baby Step at a Time

Well, yesterday was a better day. I ate well and managed to get in a good workout. I got tonight’s dinner cooked, a breakfast casserole made for the couple of days, and the dish washer loaded. The house isn’t perfect, and I didn’t get up and run this morning (so, I have to figure out something to do to work out later today), but my hair is clean. Hee hee hee.

Yesterday’s special at the cafeteria was a sale on the salad bar! I got a HUGE vegetable salad with a light soy ginger dressing. Yum! Okay, it did have 6 croutons and what looked to be about 1 and a half tablespoons of seafood salad, which I ate on rye krisps.

Yesterday’s food:
B: bowl of optimum cereal with soy milk and a slice of lean ham
S: sliced tomato and half a grapefruit
L1: Huge veggie salad
L2: Morningstar veggie burger on light whole wheat bun with a slice of 2% cheese, asparagus, and half a grapefruit.
S: Stonyfield yogurt
D1: baked fish fillet, steamed green beans, and a few sweet potato fries
(went to workout, so I didn’t eat all my dinner)
D2: other fish fillet and more green beans.
S: A 22 oz Miller Lite

Okay, I did drive to the convenience store and get a beer after the boy went to bed. I was wrung out but not tired, so I had a beer & watched the end of “Queer Eye”. That did the trick.

Workout:
5 minutes warm-up, then 15 minutes of high intensity interval training, then 5 minutes cool down (on the elliptical). Then I grabbed a cool shower, sat in the hot tub, sat in the sauna, then had another quick cool shower. Awesome!

My Balls Are Falling

You know, all those balls I am trying to keep juggling? I tell you what! Yesterday was a perfect example. I leave work, go home & pick up my son. We take a quick walk around the block (1 mile) since I just couldn’t face an aerobics tape. So, we quizzed on his work for the tutor then off we go. Since she lives 20-25 minutes away, I sit there for the hour while he works with her. Them we’re off to dinner after – we went to a seafood restaurant and had a good and healthy dinner. We get home at 8:30. Then it’s work on homework until 9 – then a quick shower for him, read a chapter of Dr. Doolittle and it’s time for bed. I went to bed too – I was beat!

So, hubby needed me to put a second coat of polyurethane on some wood for a custom railing he is installing this weekend. With my evenings like the above, when is that gonna happen? So, I got up at 5 this morning to finish the wood for him. Amazingly enough, I got it done, got us out the door, and was only 15 minutes late for work. I was planning to run this morning, but that didn’t happen! My plan now is to either run on a treadmill or use the elliptical while the boy is doing tae kwon do this evening. Have I mentioned I can’t wait for hubby’s out of town job to be over?

Food yesterday was pretty good:

B: optimum cereal with soy milk
S: banana
L: Morningstar farm veggie burger on a lite whole wheat bun with a slice of 2% American cheese, side salad, asparagus, and half a grapefruit
S: piece of b-day cake at office party (It was honey bun cake – that should be illegal!)
D: green beans, half a baked potato with a little margarine & sour cream, grilled flounder, a broiled devil crab, and a few fried shrimp off my son’s kids plate. (His plate was small and there weren’t many fried shrimp – so we split his shrimp and he ate one of my deviled crabs and a piece of my fish).

I feel like I am keeping my head above water, but not really making any progress on my eating or on exercise.

Just a Little Product Plug

I am an avid reader of Ron Harris's "Daily Pump" - his blog about his (and his wife's) bodybuilding. I find it inspiring - you can sign up at ronharrismuscle.com. But actually, this isn't really about Ron's blog, its about a link he had on his blog a few days ago for a guy that sells workout music. If you're workout music is getting dull, check it out - long samples and it sounds great!

http://djajax.com/FITNESS.htm

I Love Running

So, Saturday morning I re-learned that I love to run. I was having a hard time sleeping - I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. So, I got out of bed at 3:45, got dressed, and went for a run. Other than 1 car acting a little weird (my theory: drunk slept at hook-ups house then couldn't figure out how to get out of the neighborhood!) it was awesome. I ran 7 miles and would have kept running but my walkman batteries died. The air felt so good, and it felt so good to move my body.

Then I ate a bunch of crap Sunday and haven't had time to work out since. I know all of this sounds like pure cop-out. I'm just grateful I'm not gaining any weight.

Time for a Regime Change

Well, actually part of the problem around here is LACK of regime. I have been wallowing. Yes, my husband working out of town has seriously limited both my energy and my workout time. My stress level is high, and I am using food cause I don't have a Prozac prescription.

I know, acceptance blah blah blah. The fact is I am very frustrated and just a little bit disgusted with myself right now. I am thinking of signing up for WW online and trying out their Core program.

In the meantime, I may try 2 weeks of the "The Fat Flush" program. I'm not typically one to try a short term "diet", but this I may actually try. I like the idea of committing to something for 2 weeks, and then having a moderate plan (like WW) to follow after. I ordered the book (used) off of Amazon and have checked out some info regarding the program on ivillage. I'll keep you posted.

Moo.

That expresses how I feel right now. The following story perfectly illustrates my frustration.

Yesterday, I left work and headed for the gym. Sonja and I were both tired, but neither considered giving up. We did back, biceps, and shoulders (okay, we did cut shoulders a bit short). After the gym, I had to stop by the grocery to pick up a small can of tomato sauce to put in the casserole for dinner. While I was there, I also purchased a 6 pack of Miller Lite and a box of frozen stuffed jalepeno poppers. When I got home, I put a couple of beers in the freezer to get nice & cold, and heated half the box of poppers. While reading a book, I ate half the box & drank a beer. I then heated the other half, and had it with a beer. Then I had a few taco chips with a THIRD beer! WTF!?!?!

This is exactly why I still need to lose 15 – 20 pounds.

Yesterday

That post was from yesterday - blogger was acting weird. Yesterday it rained incredibly hard here, so I did not exercise AT ALL. I guess that was a break day :-)

Food wasn't too bad, although the cafeteria is having "customer appreciation month" - yesterday's special was a free cookie. You know, the sugar cookies to which I am addicted? Yes, I had one - it was free! Sheesh. Luckily, there is only 1 other free cookie day. I figure if I know I can get one that day, I won't be tempted the other days of the month.

I am smart enough to realize all these little indulgences add up.

I Eat Weird Food

Just an observation, but I've noticed I sometimes make weird choices in food - especially if I have choices and its early in the morning. Like bbq sauce twice in a 2 hour span is too much!

Observations from yesterday:

Breakfast was a pancake "sandwich" - a large pancake heated with some peanut butter. I make my pancakes from scratch, substituting oatmeal I've pulsed in the food processor for most of the flour. This has a very hearty texture, and is my own version of an oatmeal breakfast bar "quickie breakfast" sort of thing. It's very good.

Morning snack was plain sardines with bbq sauce. I prefer to buy them with sauce, especially the hot sauce ones. I think these make a good snack and they are loaded in protein.

For lunch, I had green beans, lima beans, and turnip greens (they had the turnip greens in the cafeteria and I couldn't resist). I also had the Gardenburger brand "riblets" - these are very good, but they are really rich and a lot of food. Both the flavor and the texture are excellent.

I had grapefruit with breakfast & lunch, yum. I needed to talk to my son, so we rode to Sonic (this is the place we go to talk once every 2-3 months, we have our best conversations in the car). We split an order of mozzarella sticks - cheese has got to be the most perfect food ever invented. The diet limeade was good.

Dinner was matzo ball soup and salad. I had 2 beers after dinner, I should have skipped the second, it was enough to make me feel lethargic this morning.

That's my recap of my weird food. :-)

One Tough Run

Oh my gosh. As Bill the Cat would say, “Ack!” My 3 miles this morning was so tough. I ran at 5:15 – it was nearly 70 degrees and humid. The weird thing was it didn’t feel humid at first, but the air was heavy and very still. Part of me wanted to stop after 2, but I kept going. I totally couldn’t get into it at all – I know my form was terrible. If you put some forty-something never run before woman in spandex and told her to take a lap, well, that’s what I probably looked like. But I decided a bad run was better than the feeling of having done nothing, so there.

Food yesterday was good, although my dinner was a poor choice – but I didn’t overeat. Never go to the grocery hungry. You come home with stuff like Chef Boyardee mini ravioli for dinner – is that weird or what? That’s what happens when I eat alone and feel lazy I guess. Glad that doesn’t happen often! But the rest of the day was healthy and low in calories, so oh well.

Yesterday I mowed the front and back yards (half an acre lot) and went to the gym. While I waited for Sonja, I wrote us up a kicking workout – we did chest, tri, and low back. I warmed up with push-ups and then started benching. I stopped at 130 – I could tell I was a little tired from just having mowed. So I felt pretty good about that. Next bench press competition is in November and I want to be ready! Overall, an excellent workout – one to be proud of. I am making progress on the chin-up front too, I’m down to offsetting 60 pounds (I did 10 reps at that level).

BTW, this is my 100th post. I may not be the best writer in blogdom, but I do try to be consistent.

Out of Touch with Reality

The past few weekends, Sunday afternoon has been really rough for me - that's when I've been doing the bulk of my over-eating. This weekend was no exception but I finally figured out why: I'm depressed on Sunday afternoon. Every weekend, we run around doing all this stuff that has piled up while hubby is working out of town. And its been especially bad trying to get stuff packed back up after vacation. So, by Sunday afternoon we've worked like dogs the whole weekend and spend zero time together, and then I get depressed because I know he's leaving in the morning.

So, yesterday instead of mowing the grass & me cooking, we sat and watched movies. Yes, I still ate too much because I was sad, but we also talked about things we could DO about it. Like, taking a day off and doing something fun together. Like, doing our chores Friday night & Saturday morning next weekend, so we can ride down for a quick overnight camping trip. There's nothing like sitting around in the woods together with no distractions. He could take his jewelry making stuff (my husband is cherokee & makes really cool native jewelry), and I could take something and we could hike and little and sit a little.

Hopefully, that will make me feel better. This whole working out of town thing really sucks.

Please, sir, may I have another? (Cookie that is).

Well, 2 of those 3 vacation pounds are gone, although I am still feeling a bit “fluffy.” So that’s good.

I did the elliptical for 20 minutes yesterday (didn’t have time to run in the morning), and then lifted weights (biceps, triceps, & abs). So, a good workout. Oh, and I had a yummy dinner last night – I have a terrific recipe for a pumpkin & black bean soup that is super nutritious and really great. Yum!

But, I have been craving sugar cookies! What is up with that!?!?! This is rarely in my food repertoire. Weird. I’ve eaten 2 from the cafeteria in 2 weeks now, and would love another! So, my solution? I am going to make a small batch of home made sugar cookies (using some splenda and some sugar), and make the cookies little. Then have one a day in my lunch box next week. Maybe knowing I have one, and can have one again tomorrow, will stop me from going upstairs and getting a cookie roughly the size of New York! We’ll see how that goes.

Tomorrow is a long run. How long? I dunno. Until I get tired or bored or die I guess. God, it feels so free just to say that! Woo hoo!

Food this week has been pretty darn good. Did okay eating out Tuesday – no snacking after dinner. Will keep that up.

Exercise has been more problematic. With it being just me while hubby works out of town during the week, I’ve been tired. So getting up to run has been tough. And because its just me looking out for the boy, I can’t just cruise by the gym to hit a class or use a machine to make it up. So, my plan is to bust out my step and my tapes, and use them as needed. Son can work on homework with minimal assistance while I do a tape. Myabe I can even get up in time to do it in the morning. But at least I hope that next week I won’t miss a workout. That’s my goal: no missed days working out. Always have a back-up plan.

Yay for the weekend!