Sucky scale suck suck

Up 1.5 pounds. Why? I refuse to give up, getting fatter is NOT AN OPTION!!!!!!!

The long dark teatime of the soul

Back a hundred million years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was in the Army, I worked for a couple of years in a windowless building on top of one (of two) manmade “mountains” in the middle of the Grunewald forest in the city of Berlin (Berlin is flat as a pancake).

The US shared this building with the British. While it was hardly luxurious, the rooftop break area offered spectacular views of both East and West Berlin downtown areas. The US ran the bulk of the office, but the British contribution to the support staff was the tea truck. The tea truck came daily at 10:00 a.m., and offered tea, sandwiches, and chips (which they called “crisps”). My usual order was 2 cups of tea and a liverwurst sandwich – sometimes an order of salt & vinegar chips as well. The sandwiches were pre-made on hard rolls, so getting there early was important to get what you wanted. Offices sent one or two people, loaded down with thermoses and orders from their co-workers. We were shift workers since it was a 24 hour operation. We joked the down side of working day shift was having to put up with the bigwigs that worked days, and the up side was the tea truck.

While that time & place are both gone, to this day I still stop for tea at 10:00 a.m. Usually its Earl Grey with skim, but last night on a whim I decided to live dangerously and bought a box of Bigelow Vanilla Caramel tea. What would Jean Luc say?????

Of my new “cult” status

I joined Weight Watchers at work yesterday. I could give you a big spiel about how I’d carefully thought it through and realized that I needed some extra motivation to lose the final few pounds. Which is true, but it’s also true that it was a total spur of the moment decision. I saw the sign for the interest meeting on my way into the building, doubled back for the room number, and showed up.

I know there are several mental barriers to my losing the final bit of weight. I see them. I am hoping the combination of plonking down $$ that is pretty tight right now combined with an extra set of eyes on my scale will be the leg up I need to get me going. We’ll see. My first WW weigh in and meeting is next Tuesday. The leaders generally remind me of reformed alcoholics or something, but the program does work.

I got in 3 30 minute walks yesterday. Food was a little higher than the day before, clocking in at 1500. That’s still below my BMR, so I’m okay with that being my “high end.”

While I am certainly a huge fan of the crock pot, you could make any of these soup recipes on the stove top. For the Indian recipe, I highly recommend you try it even if you don’t like curry. Just leave the curry out! You can always go back and add some Cajun or jerk seasoning blend, or do your own thing. The eggplant is an idea I’d never thought of, but it gives a great flavor and it’s healthy too. What a deal!

Life’s too short to eat canned soup

Good workout yesterday. I hit the gym after work yesterday, got up this morning to walk, and yesterday’s calories clocked in around 1300 – nearly all quality food. I am starting to feel human again.

For the curious:

Set 1:
Squats: 50/12 x 3
Walking lunges: 20 dbs/12 each leg x 3
Set 2:
Db row: 40/10, 35/12 x 2
Chest press: 30/10 , 25/15 x 2
Set 3:
Roman chair: 15 x 2
Low back hyper ext: 15 x 2

Saturday:

Set 1:
Db row: 35/12 x 3
Chest press: 30/12 x 3
Set 2:
Shoulder press: 20/12 x 3
Calf raises: 40/15 x3
Set 3:
Bi curl: 20/12 x 3
Tri overhead ext: 30/12 x 3

Wednesday I plan to put it all together and do a total body workout.

Food yesterday:
Breakfast: egg & beef chorizo burrito with cheese & salsa: just under 300
Snack: string cheese & baby carrots: 85
Lunch: Lean Cuisine & side salad : 320
Snack: 100 calorie pack of peanut butter cookies: 100
Snack: apple & string cheese: around 100 (it was a small apple)
Dinner: soup & half a sandwich: around 250-300, it was homemade bread so not positive
Miller Lite: 95 calories

Why today’s title?

I don’t like to eat junk just because it’s low cal or I know the calories, and I’d rather put effort into making something tasty rather than eating crap. Some canned soups aren’t bad, but a lot are pretty sad. When I sat down last night to my half a sandwich on toasted homemade sourdough and a hot bowl of homemade soup from the crockpot, I realized that a hot bowl of soup feeds your body and soul. So I thought I’d share a couple of easy, inexpensive soup recipes. These are perfect for this time of year, and they are both in the crockpot. I use my crockpot every Monday and Wednesday (tae kwon do nights) – without it I don’t know what we would eat…..

Indian Vegetable Soup

(Notes: This is what I made last night. It’s excellent. I added a couple of diced boneless skinless chicken breasts to make it a bit more substantial. It’s called Indian, but you won’t really taste the curry. This is a very mild but yummy soup).

1 eggplant, chunked
5 or 6 small red skin potatoes, also chunked (about a pound or so)
1 14.5 oz can diced tomatoes
1 can garbanzo beans, drained
1.5 teaspoons coriander
1 teaspoon curry powder
black pepper
chicken broth to cover (Probably about 5 cups)
fresh chopped cilantro

All ingredients except cilantro into crock on low for 8 hours. Garnish with some cilantro as you serve – this is what gives the soup its special flavor! Salt & pepper to taste.

Chicken & Rice Stew

(Notes: Don’t add extra rosemary – a little goes a long way! I will use boneless skinless thighs next time – the breasts were a little mild for this flavorful thick stew.)

8 oz sliced mushrooms (you can chop a bit more if you want)
2 medium carrots – or enough baby to make 1 cup
3 or 4 stalks diced celery
2 leeks, sliced
½ c uncooked brown rice
½ c uncooked wild rice
3 or 4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, diced
½ teaspoon dried rosemary
1 teaspoon dried thyme
¼ teaspoon pepper
5 cups chicken broth
1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup

Put it in the crock on low for 8 hours. Yum!

Have a good day!

Did anyone get the license plate of the truck that ran me over?

In case it hasn’t been totally obvious, I’ve really been majorly down for the past week and a half. I am beginning to feel better, but it’s sort of like that feeling after you’ve been really sick – you feel better, but still a little uncertain. That’s where I am.

I lifted weights – hard – at the gym Saturday. As in “ooh my head is woozy” from lifting. That felt so good. Yesterday we went to the Renaissance Festival (“huzzah!”). The weather was great, and it was nice to be away from my life for a few hours.

Eating was better this weekend – I had a binge after an argument with my hubby. But other than that, I made a concerted effort to eat healthy food. I know that contributed to me feeling better.

Hopefully you will start reading about some fitness again on this blog!

TGIF

Not a very catchy title, but this week I really really mean it. I am pooped and seriously need some down time. I plan to color my hair & get my eyebrows waxed, work on my valences some, and try to chill.

We were planning to go to the Ren Faire Sunday, but it looks like there will be rain all weekend, so I think that will be postponed.

After work we are heading to the climbing gym so the boy can try it out. Then I plan to go home & crash!

Looks like hub has steady work for the next few weeks. We weren't sure, so that's a load off my mind.

What else? Hitting the gym tomorrow. I have a couple of ideas for the weekend, but I will tell you about them Monday. :-) Have a good one.

Is it Friday yet????

Can I just say that this has been the worst TOM ever and that I have been living on Motrin, beer, and hot chocolate this week? Ugh.

We will return you to your regularly scheduled chubby fitness fanatic next week. We better!

Tagged by Jack!

"I guess I must be a workout snob, because I don’t really feel like I “worked out” since I didn’t come back all sweaty."

There it is, the 5th sentence of my 23rd post, back in may of 2004. I was talking about my walk at lunch. I still don't count my 30 minute walk at lunch as exercise. It's for my mental health.

How about it, M & VJ?

Sleeping Weather

My windows are open, and what we have in NC right now is primo sleeping weather. The mornings are in the mid-40s, so there is a nice chill that makes you want to snuggle down just a little deeper into your blankies and clutch your doggie and husband even closer. Heaven.

After a couple of rather sleepless nights, last night felt wonderful. The down side of both the sleepless nights and the glorious coolness is that I haven't gotten up to walk. :-( Two days with no exercise does not make me feel (or look) my best. But the gym bag is packed my friends. I may get down, but never ever out.

Roller Coaster

It was a very emotional weekend. Nothing bad happened, I am just still processing through a lot of unpleasant family stuff. Sometimes its not big deal, and sometimes I get very emotional about it. I know that’s perfectly normal, but it’s still tough. I feel angry and hurt, and I deal with some of it. And when it gets to be too much I eat and turn it off for a bit. Sometimes I use “kitchen Prozac” – and when I do it with my eyes wide open, I try not to beat myself up about it after. I made a choice. Maybe someone else would have handled their emotions a different way, but I’m not someone else. I’m me. I had 2 episodes of intentional overeating this weekend. I also made healthy choices for many meals, and hit the gym for a solid workout Saturday morning. The gym is a habit again. And the “iron therapy” helps too.

I worked on my valences. I decided to make valences for my French doors in the living room and dining room, which adds four small valences to the 3 large ones. I got all my valences, lining, and tie-backs cut out. So that made me happy.

Friday our team from work did “team building”. We spent the morning at Urban Ministries, working in the food bank and soup kitchen. Then we had a nice lunch and spent the afternoon in a really excellent climbing gym climbing the walls! I had never done this before, and I will say I was a little worried. Have I mentioned I am scared of heights? We divided up into 2 groups of four, and I jumped right up and volunteered to go first in my group. My theory was that however slowly or uncertainly I did it, no one could say squat since they hadn’t tried! :-O Well, I loved it! They also do birthday parties, and I asked the boy if he would be interested. We are going back this Friday afternoon so he can give it a try. If he likes it, then we will book his birthday party there. Now that I am “certified”, I can go in any time, plop down my $15, put on the loaner gear & go. I may have discovered a new mental release. It’s hard to have angst when you are 40 feet in the air, clutched on to a wall by tiny little pieces of plastic! I can’t afford any more hobbies right now, but I would like to take a class eventually.

Sometimes I think I should be at goal weight by now. Then I realize that I have been dealing with the food issues at every weight I’ve ever been. In order to really change, I have to get at the root causes. I’ve proven I can stop eating & lose all the weight – I have. But I can’t stay there until I deal with why I overeat instead of just forcing myself to stop.

All this ugliness with my dad is my facing who & how he is and me choosing to stand up and speak for myself. If doing so alienates my sister (which it seems to have done), I still believe I have done the right thing. The older I get, the more clearly I realize that I am responsible for my wellbeing. If someone gets mad the moment I stop being a doormat, then they need to go find the door. I would never have said that 10 years ago. Only the most extreme of circumstances forced me to stand up to my dad then. Ten years ago, I would never have jumped up to be the first to climb a wall. I would have cowered in the back, dreading it. I am tired of dreading new things. I am tired of worrying what others think. I need to think about what I think.

And what if I don’t?

Last night I was leaving work to pick up the boy to deliver him to tae kwon do. I was tired. Mentally wiped by an afternoon of a lot of very detailed work. I knew I wasn’t going to the gym (that’s today this week) and dinner wasn’t anything too difficult – the turkey breast was in the crockpot, the squash casserole was made – just needed to be cooked, bake the acorn squash, and make some gravy. I was looking forward to the chance to go home & soak in the tub with a good book for a while.

Immediately my thoughts took an ugly turn. “Ooh – you have to stop by the grocery for green beans. You could get a bag of buffalo pretzels – they’re on sale. And a 22 oz beer to share with hubby. Better yet, get a 6 pack and that way you can have one in the tub with some buffalo pretzels before he gets home and then another later while watching tv.” Obviously, this kind of thinking is what got me overweight. So, all the way to picking up the boy, driving him to tae kwon do, and waiting while he changed, I had my fantasy. I drove to the grocery, parked the car, and thought “What if I don’t?”

I realized at that moment that while I was hungry, I didn’t need buffalo pretzels and beer to manage hunger. A slice of lunch meat & cheese rolled together would make a healthy and satisfying snack to tide me over. Yes, I did need to do something about the physical hunger (I am one of those people who must graze – I get faint pretty quickly if I don’t eat a little nibble every couple of hours), but I didn’t need food to fix the mental hunger.

I bought the green beans, went home & had my snack, and soaked in the tub with only a glass of diet pepsi. Wooziness solved, mental fatigue solved, no buffalo pretzels consumed.

I felt good about the choice I made, but it sucks that I am a person who has to deal with this kind of thinking almost daily. Constant vigilance is required to keep reminding myself there are other, better, more satisfying ways of filling the void inside my mind.

I guess it’s like a disease or “physical condition” in that it will likely never go away – it’s all about managing it to the best of my ability. I’ve been at this 4 years now. I was in denial about this little fact for a long time, but my truth is that I will have to manage these thoughts and feelings the rest of my life. That’s just who I am. And that’s okay, we all have our crosses to bear, as the old saying goes. I am glad I am no longer deluded into believing just losing the weight will make that kind of thinking go away – it never has before.

152.5 – down 1.5 from last week. Yay me!

Yesterday – walked 55 min in am, 30 minutes at lunch.
Today I slept in, but will walk 30 min at lunch and have my gym bag in the car. That will the third time lifting weights this week baby!

Pretty in Pink

Today I am wearing a pink sweater to match the pink and white mardi gras beads and pink bracelet I received when I came into work today. This is breast cancer awareness month, a subject very close to my heart. You see, the year began in January with my losing a friend to breast cancer, and it looks to end the same way. This is a symmetry I do not need.

So far this week:
Sat: weights lifting – 1 hr
Sun: walk 45 min
Mon: walk 55 min + 30 min at lunch + weights 1 hr
Tue: walk 55 min
Wed: walk 55 min (so far)

Food has been fine. I am a little down, but hanging in there.

One Year of Love

I was driving in to work this morning listening to the CD "A Kind of Magic" by Queen (the soundtrack for the movie "Highlander" btw). I recalled reading that Seal sang the song "One Year of Love" from the soundtrack at Freddy Mercury's funeral. Somehow that little fact reminded me that famous people are human too. I love that song. I love that movie. "Highlander" and "Blade Runner" are probably my 2 favorite movies of all time.

Oh, have I mentioned yet that I am a goddess? I ate most excellent food yesterday, in reasonable portions. Which always makes me feel great. I walked for 30 minutes at lunch. My lunch buddy is back from vacation, so I even had company. :-) After work, I stopped in my son's school and walked on the indoor track for 55 minutes. That's a lot of laps, so for a while I ducked in the "ab alcove" and did 10 crunches on the ball each time I passed that little alcove. I did 70 crunches, and it broke up the laps. Then I picked him up, dropped him at tae kwon do, and headed for the gym to lift weights.

Weight workout was hard! and felt terrific. I have noticed there is apparently an invisible line in the gym - the front half contains the cybex and cardio machines. The back half contains the free weights and hammer strength machines. I think there's a rule that says you must have a penis to cross the line, but no one told me and now they are too embarressed to mention the fact. It's the only reason I can figure that I've never seen another woman using the free weights. Also, I like the guy Paul that works there. Anybody that tunes the radio to a station that plays Kiss and the Scorpions is okay in my book, even if he looks like a pretty boy body builder.

Off to an all day class - pray that I stay awake!

Oops, outta weekend

Food: Okay except Sunday afternoon. (Do I sound like a broken record?)

Exercise: Excellent! Went back to my "Body Sculpting Bible for Women" weight routine. My legs are sore, but it was the best weights workout I've had in ages. I got up and walked yesterday morning, I guess I'm not exactly wowing anyone with my amazing runs. I've just been working on getting the food & weights working, and giving the running a break. Don't worry - I never quit, I just take breaks from it now an again.

Valences: See title. But I have figured out what I want to do - I hadn't made any firm decisions up until this weekend, which is one reason I put it off. But I figured it out. Also, I did a ton of cooking yesterday afternoon - about 3 solid hours in the kitchen. That will pay off bigtime this week!

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Finished watching the recent version of "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" last night. Alan Rickman is the perfect Marvin the Robot. Funniest line? "I'm British. I know how to queue."

Am I the only person who has a sneaking suspicion that David Lynch has begun writing for "Battlestar Galactica"? That show (while good) keeps getting weirder and weirder. I keep waiting for Kyle MacLaughlin to show up as a new raptor pilot and to see a midget dancing down the corridors.....

And "Kingdom of Heaven" is at the top of my Netflix queue. :-) Right up my alley.

Scale Meltdown - WTF!?!?!

154 - up a pound from last week? WTF!?!? The soy sauce in my homemade stir fry last night (which was over very little rice)? Too much diet Pepsi yesterday? I am a little bitter about that. Ugh.

I did a good job with making healthy choices food-wise this week.

Cardio - 4/7 days. Did not meet my goal of 6/7.

Weights - 2. Did not meet stretch goal of 3, but 2 is good. Still in the process of ramping up the intensity.

Overall, I am a little disappointed. But life goes on. I was tired this week, so I have focused on getting enough rest, and cardio suffered a couple of days. I will do better with my cardio next week. I know the scale is being fickle and that I did well with eating this week. I remind myself that I can control what I eat, but not what the scale says. Sigh. I have a good plan in place for the weekend.

On cooking lentils in the crockpot (for Sarah): the lentils should not be hard. I cook them on low for 8 hours and they are wonderful. 2 things I know of that can lead to hard lentils are 1) if they are old. Buy from someplace you know sells a lot, or buy what you need from a place that sells in bulk 2) if you cook lentils with tomatoes the acid apparently will make them hard. So, add the tomatoes after the lentils have cooked. A good lentil soup is my favorite - hearty, healthy, cheap. Try again - it's worth it!

Have a great weekend - I am going back to score more awesome fabric so I can be a sewing maniac this weekend! Look for pics of new living room valences soon!

By request, some soup recipes (well, not that I follow recipes very strictly...)

Afternoon snack soup

1 qt chicken stock (I buy the swanson's organic)
1 bag frozen stir fry veggies
1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes (the fire roasted muir glen are very good)

Heat stock to boiling. Simmer veggies in stock about 20 minutes until soft. Add in tomatoes and puree with immersion blender.

You can get fancy and saute onion and/or garlic etc - but that's the basic of a very yummy soup. I generally add a little worchestershire and hot sauce for zip. Very filling, very low cal.

My grandpa's beefy cream of tomato soup

1 lb. lean ground beef
1 large chopped onion
46 oz can V8
1 can reduced fat cream of celery soup.

Saute beef & onion. Add all ingredients into crock pot & simmer on low. You can leave this several hours, but at least 3 is the minimum. You can also use ground turkey.

Hamburger vegetable soup

1 lb ground beef or turkey
1/4 tsp basil
1/4 tsp oregano
1 Tbsp soy sauce
dash hot sauce
1 pkg onion soup mix
3 cups water
8 oz can tomato sauce
3 stalks diced celery
chopped carrots - about a cup
(14 oz can diced tomatoes - optional)
(you can also add some of the shredded slaw mix if you have it)

You don't have to saute the meat if its very lean, or saute & rinse. All ingredients into crock pot on low for all day - 6-8 hours.

You can add some macaroni if you want, but I usually don't bother. This is very thick & the flavor is very good for a quickie soup.

Lentil soup

1 pkg dry lentils
1 large or 2 small onions, diced
3 stalks celery, diced
carrots diced - about a cup
water to cover well - at least 5 cups.
Optional:
box of frozed chopped spinach - just toss in still frozen
kielbasa or other sausage
you can also stir in a can of tomatoes - but don't put in until lentils are cooked or the lentils will be hard.
diced bell pepper
curry powder/cajun seasoning blend/ or just plain salt & pepper

Put ingredients in crock pot. Cook on low several hours 6-8.

I put all these on in the morning before I go to work. I love my crock pot, it's my friend.

Neither rain nor sleet nor snow .. yadda yadda

I woke up to rain this morning, but I didn't let that stop me from getting in a 40 minute walk. I was so freaking exhausted last night, it was like some psychic vampire was sucking my life force. Maybe I'm coming down with something. In any case, I feel better today. I am also very hungry - I think it's psychological. I noticed I was deflating so I have to go out & run hurry scarf down some food before I lose weight, right??

Son had gobs of homework last night, so the gym didn't happen. That means I HAVE to go tonight since hub & I are going together Saturday morning. As long as I am doing this total body thing, I've got to have at least one day between workouts.

My son is super moody lately - I've never seen such a raging case of PMS in all my life. So begins puberty, huh? Sigh. Sometimes he's stil my wonderful little boy that wants to be with me forever, and other times he's riding my a$$ cause I drink diet pepsi with breakfast (I don't drink coffee). I hear it only gets better! :-O

Have a groovy day.

SOS (Stalks of Soreness)

I am going to the gym this afternoon – and my legs are still sore form the last workout! I will keep those weights the same, but I will again up the upper body some – I have no soreness there at all.

Well, I slept in again today – I woke up with a dreadful headache! Yuck. I’ll do some HIIT at the gym and take an extra hard walk at lunch today.

The hub had a nice birthday celebration yesterday. I stuck to my food plan, but I did have a couple of extra beers. Life goes on. I packed my usual healthy fare for the day and have a good dinner planned (veggie burger, baked beans, and homemade slaw).

I was smart to buy the pretzels yesterday – when I went back to the break area an hour later to heat up my soup, all the buffalo pretzels were gone! There were just the plain ones. So, I have them tucked away for the weekend. If I bought a bag at W-M, it would be the “full size” 10 oz bag, versus the 2 oz vending machine size. I wouldn’t eat all 10 oz in one sitting, but you can bet I’d eat the whole bag over the course of the weekend. At 140 calories per oz, that’s a lot! Sometimes, the better buy isn’t the better deal, if you know what I mean.

Deprived of what?

It’s been a busy day but a productive one. I ate a good breakfast, my usual snack, plus a healthy lunch that tasted good. I was walking down the hall and the thought popped into my head “I feel deprived.”

Deprived of what? Food of course. I felt like I deserved “a treat.” Here are the questions I asked myself at that moment:

1. Why does eating well mean you are deprived? How does that earn you the right to go eat the 280 calorie bag of buffalo pretzels in the vending machine? I’m not hungry – a little tired yes, but not hungry.

2. Don’t I deserve something better than food? I am deprived – of some very nice clothes hanging in my closet! Don’t I deserve to look & feel my best? Isn’t that better than buffalo pretzels?

So I went to the vending machine & bought the pretzels. No, I am not eating them. The point is I have them. They aren’t going away. And Friday night when I have a snack while watching TV I will have the perfect snack – not something I’ve settled for. And they are safe in my desk drawer where no one can buy all the stupid pretzels so there won’t be any on Friday. Sheesh. Sounds silly, but I feel better knowing I have them squirreled away. Now I don’t have to worry about obsessing over them.

Sometimes I exasperate even myself.

SOS (Sick of Soup)

As I was taking my post-lunch walk yesterday, I realized that I had soup for an afternoon snack (typical) and soup in the crock pot at home for dinner, and that I sure do eat a heck of a lot of soup. But really, it’s low cal (the kinds I make anyway), satisfying, cheap, easy to do in the crock pot… it’s just ideal. Luckily the soups were different enough that I enjoyed both.

Food is back on track – lots of good veggies, post dinner noshing under control, pants fitting better. Huzzah!

I did go to the gym yesterday afternoon. It wasn’t the most amazing workout I’ve ever had – I felt a little self conscious (I was the only woman lifting weights) and hurried a little. I did 2 circuits through my total body routine I put together. I upped the weights on some of my upper body exercises, so I did a little more than I did Saturday. My plan is to stick to 2 sets this week, up it to 3 next week, and then split my routine back out like I used to.

I did not get up and walk this morning. I was awake in the night so I was tired this morning. And lifting makes me extra tired. It’s cool – I have time tonight after dinner. Tae kwon do this week will be Wed & Thur, due to homework and my hubby’s birthday today. We are grilling steak and shrimp (lean sirloin steaks). We’re also having mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. I know I know. But it’s his birthday and he asked. I’m having corn & turnip greens and a bite of mashed potatoes, a small piece of steak, and shrimp. There is also cheesecake left from Sunday’s celebration – I will split a piece with my mom.

I got up and fixed my hair again today! Sometimes I just fluff & go, but I took time to do it this morning. Short hair is funny, but I like it. Anyhow, I feel good. I’m wearing a nice outfit again also. This weekend I want to go through my closet, pull out some stuff, and start wearing some of my nicer clothes. I get in ruts where I dress like a slob (relatively speaking).

I’m proud of me.

“Imeldochka” is back

What can I say? Excellent weekend! Saturday am hubby & I got up at 5:30 and hit the gym. I did 2 sets of a total body circuit, lowering my previous weights. How do you spell “legs”? Oh yeah, D-O-M-S. Sore baby, but in a nice way!

Went shopping with my mom Saturday and bought myself a cute pair of shoes, which I am wearing today. Back in the ‘80s, I loved shoes. My friend Marty used to call me “Imeldochka” – a Russian dimunitive meaning “little Imelda”. Remember Imelda Marcos’ love of shoes???

Anyway, we had a nice time shopping for a few things, and had lunch together. Most stuff was CostCo, fabric shop, etc, as I don’t shop for clothes. But I do love my new shoes. One of my co-workers commented on them, they have a little heel and are more feminine than my usual MO.

I also scored some awesome fabric – I am making new valences in my living room. Yes, I love to sew and do home decorating projects. The fabric is so cool – it will give the room a nice medieval flair, but not in a tacky way. I love it!!! So, I will be making valences next weekend!

What else? Food was pretty good – I ate some junk while watching tv Friday night (oh my god – I cannot believe they ended “Battlestar Galactica” like that!!!), but other than that I did really well, in spite eating out twice. Yay me!

I got up Sunday at 5:45, slipped on the stuff, and headed out the door for an hour of cardio tranquility.

Planned excellent food for the week, walked for 50 minutes this morning, I feel really great.

I’ve been checking myself out in the mirror lately. I’m not real thrilled with what I see. It’s like your girlfriend telling you she’s engaged to that jerk you kept hoping she’d drop. I just wanna hug me, look me in the eye, and say “You deserve better.” Not ugly or negative, just I can do better for myself. I deserve better. My clothes are blah still, although I have done something about the hair & make-up. And the shoes are shaping up! I wanna spruce up this body and clothes (I bought some nice fall slacks last year – the tags are still on them). This isn’t what I want to say about who I am. Does that make sense?

In any case, feeling very good about things right now. It’s all coming back into focus.

Confession is good for the soul (in no particular order)

153 – down 2 pounds from last week. Good to be back on track and headed in the right direction, with my habits and on the scale.

The gym. Okay, that didn’t work! The boy has a lot of studying to do on Thursday – actually he finished studying this morning it was so late last night. So, Thursday as a gym day doesn’t work for me. I’m thinking I will have to do it Mon & Wed while he is in tae kwon do. Which is fine, I’m just ready to get it figured out.


My son confessed to watching part of “Jeepers Creepers” at a friend’s house 2 weeks ago. We wondered why he seemed clingy & wasn’t sleeping well. I think it will be a while before he complains about not being allowed to watch a scary movie again! It really freaked him out. I didn’t punish him – for one I want him to feel like he can talk to us, and for two I think the sleepless nights have been punishment enough.

My son & I went for a walk after dinner the other night – he said “This is a good chance for us to have some one on one time.” Kids says the funniest things.