5 weeks until vacation

156.5. I haven't lost the weight from my April vacation, and I still have half a pound to lose from this last one. At least I'm down.

Eating is fine, exercise is still going, although the dojo is closed until Wednesday! Luckily they haven't rolled up the streets yet! :-)

Have a nice holiday and/or weekend!

Progress continues

This morning I climbed up on that damndable ladder for the final time and finished the celtic knotwork in the kitchen (pictures to follow)! It feels awesome to have that project put to bed.

I remain beer free! Although I was sorely tempted last night. We’d turned around to rescue a huge snapping turtle out of the road, and got there just in time to watch another car kill it. We were all very upset, especially the boy. He loves animal so much, and to see something that large get killed up close was very disturbing – for all of us.

Martial arts was good last night – we worked on getting out from under a side mount. I have a bruised knee, a raw elbow, and a bloody toe. But it felt so darn good to be back there. I have no idea why I enjoy this stuff, but I do.

I was whipped this morning! And sore. But I got up and did a very quick run – something is better than nothing, right? I felt too lazy to make my oatmeal for my morning snack, so I grabbed 2 protein bars for my 2 snacks. Even though I don’t like it, I need to go back to the cottage cheese (blech!). It’s a cheap, convenient, lowcal source of nearly pure protein. And I need to be eating “real food” – not bars or shakes. I have a hard time with protein in my snacks – meals are no problem. But who wants to heat up a snack? I’m not that wild about canned chicken (cold chicken breast is okay but it gets old quick), canned tuna gets old, I can only eat so many eggs… Maybe I’ll alternate weeks between the cottage cheese and the protein bars.

Food is going fine. I know because I am hungry. Not starving ever, but when I left the dinner table last night I knew I could eat that same portion of food again. I had plenty, but I was nowhere near full. I wake up hungry. My tummy is rumbling by lunch. I take that as a good sign. I’m not letting myself remain hungry – I’m eating every 2-3 hours. But if you never feel hunger, then you’re probably eating too much IMO.

Unfortunately, the dojo is closed Friday through Tuesday for the holiday. I never even think about this stuff since I work pretty much every holiday except Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was peeved! Luckily I have 24 hour access to my gym, so I can always go there. Ha!

Have a groovy day!

A great run and some great reads

Despite not setting the alarm clock (I can’t believe I forgot!), I woke up at 5:32 am. I woke up the hubster, got dressed, and we hit the road. My husband walks, and that’s not enough of a workout for me. What I’ve started doing is to walk with him a bit, then when I get to my running spot I jog ahead, turn around and sprint back, and then walk a bit. It gets him up and out, we get to talk, and we both get in a workout of sufficient difficulty. It poured yesterday (by the time I got to my car my underwear were wet, and that was with an umbrella!). But this morning it was nice and it felt good to be outside.

I have a couple of links I want to share – these are things I’ve read to day that have inspired me. And VJ had a great new mantra “feed the goal”. Indeed.

Merry Christmas Bob

June's rant

I totally wanted a beer last night, but stuck with my faux Milwaukee. Beer doesn’t feed my goal, it feeds my paunch. Eating is going good. House projects are on track to wrap up this weekend. My head is back and I feel determined.

Have a good one.

Pictures!

Yes, I am a slacker about pictures. But I have finally uploaded my beach pictures from April onto my yahoo picture site. The link is here - select the album "my edisto". There were enough that there was no way I'd try to upload them onto blogger! The picture feature and I seem to be not getting along.

Got up at 5 to go lift weights. I did about 80% of my workout. I failed to eat my piece of ww bread with pb before going to the gym and I was totally ragged. I am going to go back & finish this afternoon, then hit the martial arts studio for cardio kickboxing. Made more progress around the house last night. July is our "prep for Pennsic" month, so I'm trying to wrap up these house projects!

I am feeling less bloated. I admit to being scared to get on the scale, but I will report in on Friday. (Hold me accountable please!). I'm getting back to my happy place. :-)

Food yesterday:
Breakfast: tamale casserole (yes its a healthy & balanced recipe, and yes, I eat weird stuff!)
Snack 1: oatmeal with berries & 1 T chopped macadamia nuts
Lunch: salmon, creamed spinach, 3 bean salad (homemade, so its a healthy version)
Snack 2: protein bar
Dinner: poached chicken breast, chopped tomato & cucumbers, 3 bean salad
post dinner: fake beer, sugar free fudgecicle

Yeah, I still eat crap after dinner, but at least its only about 100 calories worth of crap!

Where’s your head at?

I am feeling so much better! I’ve gotten a lot of stuff done at home and I couldn’t be happier. It’s coming along great. I went to martial arts Saturday morning. I had planned to do 2 classes but only stayed for one – I was exhausted. But it felt good to be back. Ate a little junkier than I wanted Saturday, but Friday was excellent and Sunday was pretty good. All in all, I’d say I feel about 92% of normal (well, what passes for normal with me!).

Other than that, not much to report. I got up at 5 to run, but it was raining hard enough that I chickened out. I guess I’ll be running this evening. I have 7 or 8 projects tom complete over the next several days, but they are small and many can be broken into smaller pieces. I’m a big fan of the “15 minutes at a time” mantra.

I went with my mom and a friend of hers to a gem & jewelry show yesterday. I bought some great beads and 3 rings. The most expensive ring was $12, so I didn’t spend a lot but I had a lot of fun. And I spent time with my mom, and gave hub some quiet time home alone, which he doesn’t get very often.

I am feeling cheerful & optimistic! I think I’m finally caught up on my rest – mental and physical.

Week in Review

The not so good:
Martial arts? Where?
A few too many “I shouldn’t have eaten that!”s early in the week

The good:
Getting up at 5:30 every day.
Going walking.
Eating has improved dramatically the past couple of days.
My stress levels are down.

The very good:
I have gotten so much down around the house! I feel so much better about that. I feel like it is a place I can go & relax again. That’s critical to my emotional well being. So that’s huge – until my house (literal) is in order, it’s all but impossible for me to get my (figurative) house in order.

I may go to a craft show with my mom this weekend – other than that, putter around the house. And go to martial arts of course! I have plenty of healthy food already in the fridge, so that will help prevent poor choices over the weekend.

Have a good one!

Cravings? Not me.

I realized last night I’d made the right decision to give myself until Saturday “off” – from the martial arts anyway. (I have been getting up and walking every morning.) Last night I realized that it was time for bed and I’d never even thought about eating anything after dinner. I ate an appropriate portion of supper, and then went happily puttering about – cleaned the boy’s drawers of detritus and too small clothes, worked on painting in the kitchen, and made a sculpey light switch plate.

I had to laugh at the question in my comments “Why set yourself up to feel guilty?” Hee hee hee! Because silly, I’m a jump-in-at 200%, all or nothing, control freak kinda girl. And if I’m living at the gym, maybe I can whittle away some of this flab. My body is really bothering me. A lot.

Me too, VJ.

First, thanks for the comments. Writing it helped a lot, reading your thoughts helped a lot, and talking to walking buddy at lunch helped too. What I realized is that I don’t want to dread martial arts, nor do I want to view it as a punishment for gaining weight over vacation. And forcing myself to go when I really need some quiet time will only perpetuate the bad cycle I’ve been in the past few days. There are times where you put on the big girl panties and do it, even if its uncomfortable. But it’s a bit like exercising with an injury – you have to know when its okay to run through the pain, and when you need to listen to what your body is saying and stop! Right now my soul is screaming “stop”, and if I don’t give myself a chance to re-charge, then its only gonna get worse.

If it were typical post-vacation trying to get back into a routine, I’d nod, thank you all for the kick in the pants, and go. But it’s a lot more than that. So I’m going to nod, thank you for your thoughts, and give myself until Saturday to rest. I will eat healthy, exercise in the morning, and piddle in the evenings. Saturday morning I’m back to class, and next week I’ll aim to go 3 times: Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday. LouBob’s comment made me realize that yet again I was tripping myself up with my “all or nothing” thinking. Five days a week seemed scary – 3 days isn’t bad, and it gives me a couple of evenings during the week to just relax. I am hoping that after next week, I’ll be ready to ramp up to my 5 days per week target, but if it takes a week or 2, well, I guess the world won’t end.

Thanks again my friends.

Perhaps my big girl panties aren’t missing after all

It never ceases to amaze me how totally out of touch with my feelings & emotions I can be. I’ve figured out what’s going on, but I would like some advice on the best course of action.

While my trip to Florida was fun, it was anything but relaxing. Driving 2,000 miles, sleeping in 4 different places, eating out every meal for a week – fun yes, but not restful. And that would be fine, except with the pressures of a new job, a MIL who is determined to self destruct right in front of us, the usual financial stressors, a week spent in classes and/or meetings 4 entire days last week – it all adds up to a woman who desperately needs time to unwind and decompress.

Right now, if I could do anything I wanted, I’d want to “piddle” (that’s southern for “putz around the house”). Hence my dilemma. Last week was crazy, and this week I desperately want and need a little quiet time. However, that doesn’t align with my vision of how I intended to spend time this summer. I was all excited about martial arts (and I still am), and my intention was to go to classes 5 days a week. It’s now been 3 weeks to the day since I set foot in the studio. This is still pretty far outside my comfort zone, and right now I desperately don’t want to be outside my comfort zone.

This internal struggle has led to a lot of overeating. Guilt because I’m not doing what I “should” (go to martial arts), frustration because my emotional and physical need to just quietly unwind at home is not being met, feeling like I’ve lost my motivation – there’s a lot of internal conflict (on top of everything else!), and I’ve been stuffing it down with food.

Every evening I have found excuses for not going. When I’m at home I’ve been super productive – I’ve gotten a lot of work done in the boy’s room (packrat + normal boy sloppiness = disaster), I’ve made a lot of progress on the Celtic knot work in the kitchen, and I’ve been enjoying playing around with the polymer clay. So – here’s my question: Should I A) give myself a pass on the martial arts for another week and just focus on 1) exercising in the mornings and 2) spending some quiet time in the evenings at home or B) give myself a kick in the pants and go to martial arts?

Curiously unmoved and unmoving

First, thanks for the comments. I haven’t even been reading blogs – I’ve been out of the office since last Monday, and on the web only intermittently at home.

Yeah, diet and exercise have sucked. We got most of MIL’s stuff into the apartment, but she is still at my mom’s. Step 2 is getting her out. She is skating the edges of disaster in a number of ways – employment, financial, her health. It’s tough, but we can’t live her life for her.

An alien couch potato has hijacked my body. I have no idea who this lousy attitude belongs to, but it sure doesn’t feel like me. I find myself curiously uncaring about the crappy food I’m eating. And the gym sounds about as exciting as root canal. I know I have to get my motivation back, but even that doesn’t seem terribly important.

I have found a new love for polymer clay, and spent my weekend sewing and making polymer clay stuff. A nice stress reliever, but it does nothing for my expanding waistline.

Still here

I have been in the office one day this week - the rest I've been offsite at a training class. When I get home, I've been too pooped to get on the computer. It's been a hectic week. I haven't even read blogs! :-O

Hope you all are well. We had a nice time in Florida - the weather was excellent and we had a good time visitng folks. Cuban food is yummy! Key West itself is a bit too crowded & touristy for me. But mom is already planning to go back to peruse all the little shops and galleries. The boy is planning to go back and get his scuba certification. We saw a baracuda as big as me!!

My friend in Miami intoduced us to polymer clay and now we are all hooked. We've been saving our coupons from the craft store so we can get the tools cheaply. I'm not talking cheesey stuff - I'm talking reproducing antique jewelry and creating some gorgeous stuff! Like I needed a new hobby! :-)

Like I said, crazy week. Hub called while I was down in Fla - the boat dealership rented us a boat from a local marina one day over Memorial Day weekend since ours was still in the shop. The marina was claiming we'd hit something and owed them $700 in damages. This is the same place doing the warranty work on our boat, which they quit working on until we gave them the money. Can you say 'extortion'?!?! Needless to say, we refused to pay, and my big linebacker -looking hub had to go up there and threaten them with a lawsut to get our boat back! Argh!

And of course the saga of MIL continues. She got qualified for public housing. Then she blew a bunch of money while we were in Florida, so when we got back she said that she didn't have the money & that she didn't think it was a "good deal" anyway. I told her either she moves in or goes up to Maryland to the rest of the family (I am always the bad cop!) Well, you can imagine how that went over. They have all basically disowned her. Without going into the rest of the drama, let's just say we've all had it and are going out to celebrate Saturday night once she's out of my mom's house!!!

Luckily, I have a quiet weekend planned. I haven't made it back to martial arts, but I've been walking and lifting. My eating still isn't great - eating my stress as usual. But its not totally out of control.

Take care!

Down but not out

I’m only in the office for a couple of hours this morning, and won’t be back here until June 12th. Yippee!

I have lost 1.5 pounds of my previous 4 pound vacation gain. Not so good since I am leaving on vacation again tomorrow! However, I am packing some healthy foods for the trip that will travel well, I am taking my running shoes, and the hotel in Key West has a “fitness facility.” It’s anice hotel, so I hope that includes some kind of weights!

I won’t lie, I’m getting pretty discouraged – my eating is on track, I’m exercising a lot, but what are my options? Stop doing those things and gain weight? I just feel like for as much as I do, I should look better than I do.

On that note…. See ya on the flip side!

That was yesterday, this is today

I wrote that last post yesterday, but couldn't get into blogger.

Slammed at work, slammed at home. My underpants were on right side in, but I left my boxing gloves at home. It's always something. :-)

Food fine, exercise great. May the scale gods be kind to me tomorrow.

Inside out underpants (Thursday post)

So, with the boy out of school I am having to figure out a whole new routine. Weights have been moved to Tuesday and Thursday mornings, with running on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Martial arts are Monday through Thursday evenings, and also Saturday morning. Run or bike ride Sunday morning optional.

As a result of all the rearranging, I am finding myself perpetually running 15 minutes late everywhere I go. Not the panicked kind of late, just a little flustered and scatterbrained. Which probably explains how I found myself in the ladies room at the office this morning, having to turn my underpants right side in.

The irony is that I’ll muddle through this week, only to go on vacation Saturday morning for a week. So I’ll have to start all over when I get back! Agh!

Food is going fine thanks. Sticking with my plan, eating plenty of veggies from the Farmer’s market. It’s hot as heck here, so lunch buddy and I are walking indoors at lunchtime. So far, exercise is feeling good.

I am planning to take some cans of tuna, protein shakes, string cheese, & fruit on our trip next week. I don’t want to find myself unprepared. Yes its vacation, but I don’t want to get derailed. Dinner will be a more relaxed affair. I just don’t want to waste the calories on crap I’m not even enjoying, you know?

Well, time to fly!