Sporty talk

I watched the Tour yesterday and actually didn’t do much else. My enthusiasm for work has remained spotty. Luckily, we are doing team building this morning, going out for lunch, and calling it a day. I should be home between 2 and 3, so I am in good shape in terms of packing. I did get up a bit early this morning and load the dishwasher and laundry.

I was reading an article yesterday in which NASCAR driver Greg Biffle spoke out rather strongly against that football player and dog fighting in general. He was a foundation which raises money for numerous animal charities, http://www.gregbifflefoundation.com/ If you are an animal lover, it seems like a very worthy organization. I’m glad when people use their fame to better the world we live in.

Speaking of which, I was very sad to hear about Wake Forest basketball coach Skip Prosser passing away. He spoke at a leadership conference my company had 3 years ago. He was a man that stood for hard work, education, and integrity. Never one to throw fits on the sideline, he was the kind of coach I’m sure his players remembered long after they left school and stopped playing ball other than in the driveway with the kids.

Only an hour left and I’m outta here! I dropped my car at the dealership this morning and my mom met me there and loaned me her VW. Hope they get it all squared away. I actually really enjoy road trips. And I haven’t cracked open the Harry Potter book yet, so I have that to look forward to tomorrow. Woo hoo!

Take care everyone!

Europe's newest soap opera: "As the Tour Turns"

Okay, the doping scandal is getting insane. It's hard to appreciate someone's performance, when you are wondering whether he'll be kicked out the next day. Hmm.

I'm feeling better. Only in the office for 2 hours tomorrow (offsite for team building plus off after lunch. woot!), then free until the 14th. "No voice mail, no email, no worries."

Finished my sewing and got the kitchen stuff packed up last night. Tonight is all my costume stuff plus jewelry plus shoes plus personal hygene.... you get the idea. Then tomorrow its the little details.

Hub started packing the trailer last night. I put painter's tape over the opening in the sun roof (yeah, it's pretty small thank goodness) so we could pack it in the driveway. I think we are both feeling better now that the packing process is well under way. And I managed to fix dinner last night. Chicken and dumplings, couldn't find any vegetables. Hopefully we won't die of scurvy.

Tonight's dinner. Uh, cafeteria?

Laughter is the best medicine

It's a little warm outside, but I took a walk with my good friend/walking buddy. She is a very spiritual person, so she is good to talk to when your soul hurts. After we'd both talked about serious stuff, we used the last bit to laugh. The sunshine, the birds, the view of the lake... yeah, there are mean people everywhere, but good ones too. Sometimes we just need to get up out of the cube & talk to a friend.

A tired and troubled heart

I try to keep things in perspective, although I freely admit I don’t always succeed. I’ve tried to stay positive even though I spent $1250 on car maintenance yesterday, even though my sun roof won’t close all the way and it has rained every day and night here lately, even though we can’t pack for vacation because we can’t secure the loaded trailer in the garage because we have to keep the car there (see sun roof). These are the annoyances of life in modern America, and I am trying to keep them in perspective.

But I still feel vaguely overwhelmed by the amount of prep and packing that must be done. I am probably blowing it out of proportion, but being limited in what I can do makes it hard to keep perspective.

Sometimes my hobby can be a pain in the butt. I am the treasurer for the state, and sometimes I get tired of dealing with folks that don’t want to follow the rules (hello, they are IRS rules, not Me rules) and then make out like the people enforcing the rules are jerks. I get tired of the politics of it all, but I largely enjoy it and I realize that if competent people don’t step up and do the difficult jobs then we won’t continue to exist. But sometimes when I am tired it feels like a pain in the butt.

And I get down because bad things happen in the world. I am disappointed by the latest scandal rocking the cycling world, but I have to say this thing with the NFL player troubles me a lot. If he is guilty of the charges against him (and it sure does sound like the charges against him are rock solid), then he is a truly evil man. So why do we revere people like that and pay them millions of dollars? I know the world isn’t a fair place, but sometimes the cruelty seems like more than the human heart should have to bear.

I realize this is a pretty down post, I just felt the need to dump some of this sadness and tiredness. I know we will get packed and we will go on vacation and we will be with good and loving people. I wish I could make the world clean, I guess all I can do is take care of my little corner.

Hugs to you all.

Vacation, anyone?

Ugh. I am toast. Worked hard this weekend, still a lot to do. I’d be in better shape except I took last night off. Sunday my sun roof quit working. The good news is it’s still under warranty. While there they are doing my 60,000 mile service. Found a couple of belts that needed replacing AND that I needed a brake job. $1200. After spending $300 on a new axle for the trailer last week. People, if we bleed any more money we’ll be vacationing in the back yard. Which would be the responsible thing to do except we might eat one another if we don’t go on vacation.

Work is busy, the house is kinda messy, packing is in various stages, and I am ready for a break.

It’s beginning to look at lot like pennsic, all around the house

Drifts of fabric cover the dining room. Camp chairs with a nearly finished paint job dry on the dining room table, away from curious puppy noses. The car must relocate from the garage as the hub begins to inspect, pack and stage gear for Sunday when we load the trailer. Grocery lists must be made. A trip to the dollar store for garbage bags, tin foil, and all the other thinks you need for 2 weeks of primitive camping.

Ahhhh, vacation, how I long for you!

Drive by blogging

I have halved the amount of medicine I am taking and am feeling much more myself. Work is busy, home is beyond busy, and a couple of things (people, situations) are trying to drive me nuts (luckily, most of that is hobby and not work related). I am counting down until vacation, trying to convince myself to save the new Harry Potter book for the trip, and slowly ticking things off my list. My list is long, but most of the project type stuff will be wrapped up by Sunday. After that is last minute purchases, meal planning, and packing. The trailer gets loaded Sunday. The last minute stuff will go in the car.

I am keeping up with blogs, but even I don’t want to read about my obsessive list writing or angst over what size cooler to buy.

I’ll be here intermittently until I leave for vacation a week from Saturday!

Poor neglected blog

The closer vacation gets, the more I feel like I have too much to do. While it has improved, my lack of motivation is preventing me from being as productive as I can be under more normal circumstances.

Not much to say. I am managing to cook every other night, the gym is a distant memory, and I am ignoring emails from my personal trainer. The funny thing is that I don't feel like I've "fallen off the wagon" or anything - I know this is a short term situation. of course, post vacation/ start of the school year is always hectic as well. looks like a rough ride between now & Labor Day.

Have a good weekend.

Gag order

Most of my life I have walked a fairly narrow straight and narrow. A mixture of fear, guilt, and paranoia have kept me pretty close to the beaten path. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing really. Being afraid of potentially bad consequences is a pretty nifty survival mechanism. While it means I probably won’t quit my day job to go study in Tibet, I probably won’t try an illegal drug either.

Like I said, my doctor warned I might experience side effects the first couple of weeks. The interesting thing about Celexa is the voice inside my head I’ve always referred to as my “inner jewish mother” has been silenced. The result has been interesting. Without that nagging voice, I haven’t felt compelled to cook every night, keep the house uber tidy, go to the gym, wash my face before bed… you get the idea. I haven’t bought a motorcycle or quit my day job, but not only have I been blowing off “obligations” - I’ve felt no guilt about doing so.

This has been a truly eye opening experience. No one has told me I’m a bad person, the earth hasn’t stopped turning – life is still going on pretty much as it always has. The weight of all that “should” has been enormous – with that gone for a few days I can see that. I do think the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. I really don’t want to live with the consequences of making this a lifestyle. I can feel that the pendulum is beginning to head back in the other direction. I am a bit relieved to feel honest – making yourself do stuff you don’t want to without that inner nag is hard work. But the quiet has been restful.

The annual pre vacation freak out

I am hoping the side effect of not giving a darn about anything is beginning to wear off now that I have been on this new medicine a bit over a week. I am trying to care. The past week has been interesting – I’ve failed to exercise, eaten crap, and really truly haven’t felt any sort of remorse or guilt. Unfortunately, I haven’t cared about anything – housework, cooking, you get the idea. I read a lot of books. This weekend I picked myself up by the boot straps and am trying to get back on track. I haven’t lost my temper though – I just think the pendulum swung too far the other way.

I have gobs to do before pennsic – catching up on email this morning I started feeling panicky. I have a lot going on. I’m trying not to freak out. I need to sit down and make a list. I think just knowing would help.

Anyway, doing alright. A little scattered – maybe I will be tracking better tomorrow.

Just weird

This has been an odd week. I definitely think it’s the new medicine – my mom said she felt nauseated for a week (but it passed). The doctor said it might be a bit odd for a week or two. I’ve been a bit agitated or restless, haven’t felt like doing a whole lot (not good), but haven’t felt bad either. I go back on the 23rd – I’m hoping she’s right & that I’ll adjust after a week or two. It is beginning to dissipate. And to be honest, I don’t know how much is pre-pennsic freak out over how much I need to do.

With Fridays like these, who needs Mondays?

Exhibit 1: Friday, June 22. My mom leaves for Florida, leaving me her sporty new car. Check engine light comes on: $570.

Exhibit 2: Friday, June 29. I get home from gym. None of the plumbing in the entire house works. Mr. Roto-plumberguy has to “hydroscrub” the pipe from the house to the street, replacing the cover that is missing from the access thing (and is the source of the lawn waste that caused the problem): $550.

Ouch.

I worked from home Friday while the saga of the plumbing played itself out. I never got to the office, never got on a scale. I’ve just been a bit forlorn the past couple of days. Off the Wellbutrin, started in the Celexa. I’ll keep you posted.