Brain dump

Overall, I’d say things are going pretty well. I think I’m feeling less stressed & frustrated than I was at the end of last year. Whether that’s because I’m just totally wrung out and too tired to feel much or this past year has given me some perspective, or something else entirely I’m not sure.

There are things I like very much about living here:

I like taking the bus too work. It is a little time consuming, but it’s easy and the bus stop isn’t a bad walk from the house at all.

I love the new house – although I am feeling stressed by the slowness of getting things organized. The whole “building storage in the garage” is holding things up. I know it’s getting done, but progress in the garage seems slow, and is holding up progress in the house.

I am more active. I walk Jordan – sometimes morning and evening. We have a good neighborhood for walking. We get in the pool a lot on the weekends. We take the dogs to the dog park.

I worked for my old boss for 5.5 years. So a new boss is a change, which also has it’s good points. I like Sonia and the new team so far.

I am taking a yoga class at lunch 1 day a week. I really like the instructor - it’s power yoga so it’s TOUGH, but I’m hanging in there.

I signed up for 2 stretching classes, I have my first one this afternoon.

We are going to the beach this weekend – just to take a walk, so that’ll be nice.

I still have times of feeling angry or stressed, and there are times I still overeat due to stress, but overall it’s much better, and best of all I feel better. It’s hard to explain better than that – just overall my stress feels lower than it’s been in quite a while, in spite of obstacles and stressors that still exist.

2011 - the year of "new cheese"

I think I may have mentioned hub and I reading "Who Moved my Cheese?" earlier this year. "New cheese" has become a catch phrase in our family that means trying new stuff.

My big new cheese today was taking the bus home from work. I've never used public transit regularly in this country - it's simply never been cheap or convenient enough. But hub's truck get 13-15 miles per gallon, and we're tallking diesel. We simply can't afford to have him running all over the place in that thing - and there's no reason. My car gets 30 mpg and uses plain old basic gas. He has been taking me to work and keeping the car, but that adds up - both in expense, wear and tear, and in time. The bus stop is less than a mile from my house and there is one right in front of my office. If there weather is bad, hub can always pick me up in the afternoon and drop me in the morning at the stop. I was pleasantly surprised - it wasn't crowded, it was very clean, and it was a quick trip straight up Pine Island Road. Easy!

Hub may have a temp job starting Monday if his doctor's office gets the form back to the temp company which clears him for work post surgery. He has a form, but the agency needs it on their form. Fingers crossed!

The boy cleaned the pool filter yesterday and offered to wash the dishes today!!!! Maybe he's getting over his funk! That would be lovely.

What else? The puppy weighs 46 pounds, work still seems to be pretty good. I'm trying to be positive, motivated, showing my new boss I'm a go getter, etc. I really do enjoy my job, but being extroverted is tiring for me cause really I'm just a math geek in disguise. Ha ha ha.

The neighborhood is awesome for walks - morning or evening. I hopped in the pool when I got home from work today - very nice. I priced a pool heater ($3000!), which is crazy considering we can use the pool most of the year anyway and don't have to winterize it at all. It would be lovely, but it goes without saying I don't have that kind of extra cash!

Overall, I'm not feeling that great. Sunday night we watched "Talladega Nights" (don't judge me). Anyway, it's set in NC and seeing the scenery etc. just made me really homesick - for the geography, for my mom, for a lot of things. I sat up till nearly midnight, just kinda crying. It's a shame because the night was frog free and I could've gotten a great night's sleep.

Anyway, I felt like poop Monday and called in sick. I spent the morning sitting by the pool reading "Harriet the Spy" (why yes, it IS a children's book). My mom will likely end up needing gall bladder surgery - the logical thing is for hub to go up & be with her since he isn't working. He could paint the inside of her house while he's there as well. We'll see.

We have the guest room set up and largely finished putting stuff away in our bedroom & hanging pictures, so it's really starting to look like our house. We did A LOT over the weekend - my back was killing me!

One thing I didn't like about the old house was that the kitchen sink faced a wall, and the windows in the kitchen had an exciting view of my clothes line and the side of the neighbor's house. My kitchen sink looks out over the pool, which makes kitchen work a lot more bearable, except it makes me want to be outisde!!!

There are good things and I do appreciate them, it's just that I've been trying to stay positive in the face of hub abd the boy's ... lack of enthusiasm for the move, and I'm just wrung out. I swear, if you drop a bomb in front of me my reaction would be to say "well, huh."

Anyway, things are getting back to the new normal, whatever that turns out to be.

Work

So, I went to work for 4 whole days these week - that's the most days in a row since mid July!!! I like my desk (not as private as my old one, but newer stuff). My team are nice and our new boss started last Monday, so in that regard we are on a level playing field. I am slowly getting bck into the swing of picking up projects I had passed off and offering time on new ones. I have also jumped into taking advantage of the fitness center and am signing up for a couple of classes when the next session starts in 2 weeks.

The boy is being a lazy, ungrateful ass. I keep reminding myself that he is only 16 and this is hard on him, but there are days I'd like to throttle him. He refuses to do anything to help out around here AT ALL. UGH!!!!! He has met a couple of friends (twins his age) - their mom is very strict, so I like that. Maybe his attitude will improve.

I am setting up a schedule of getting things done around the house, but new (little) things keep cropping up. Not much progress is happening during the week - just your basic "manage to get dinner on the table and dishes washed."

I am walking in the mornings and starting fitness classes soon. I am cooking regular meals and getting my house (literally) in order. But I know there is a lot of stuff - the recent death of my grandmother up in Asheville and all the stuff that dredged up, the worry over hub finding a job, my frustration with the boy's attitude. There's a lot of stress and emotion just below the surface that I am going to have to deal with in a manner that doesn't include beer or cheese dip.

More updates

The house is coming along and we've done a lot of unpacking. The garage is still a disaster, but the guys are building some storage.

One the inside: we painted every room but the master bath (just ran out of steam I guess but we have the paint). We have a new dish washer (after hub re-wired the electrical so it would run without turing on the disposal), a new fridge, and a new ceiling fan in the kitchen. New ceiling fan in the family room. New ceiling fan in all bedrooms. Curtains in all rooms but the kitchen (if you saw my view of the pool you wouldn't want to block it either). Hub fixed the hot water heater (it didn't work when we moved in).

The pool is my baby.

More later!

A short summary:

1. My loan processor from Wells-F was either incompetent or negligent and her managers were a bunch of liars, While driving down I-95 22 hours prior to closing she was calling asking for documents she'd received weeks prior. On the day of our closing, we were repeatedly asked for more documents while being assued the loan money had been wired, which was a LIE. We didn't close, and both our interest rate lock and our contract expired. We were assured we'd be 'compenstaed' for the $1000 plus the delay cost us. Another LIE. The only good thing was that the seller agreed to close even though we didn't have a contract since our lawyer assured us we'd have to sue for our deposit (which was A LOT) and that we'd probably lose.

2. My grandmother died (dad's mom obviously). Hub and the boy were up in NC at the time, but I was stuck here alone with the dogs. My mom had a voicemaiil from my aunt when they got back to NC on a Wednesday, she called me on Thursday, she & the boy went up to Asheville on Friday, and grandma died on Saturday.

3. This house had loads of potential and a wonderful layout, but it's been making us kinda nuts. It sat empty. then was purchased as an investment by a bunch of crazy people (another time I'll write about how at the closing the representative for the seller was thrown out of the office screaming obscenities). The crazies hired Cheech & Chong to do the remodelling post being trashed by a renter. Let me tell you this one thing: The dishwasher ran (but didn't actually do its function) but the inspector thought it did not in fact run because the way it was wired it only got power when the disposal was turned on. That's all you need to know about everything in this house. Except the frogs were keeping us up ALL NIGHT. Thank you baby jesus for amphibian repellant and pest control people that show up same day.

Also, all the iguanas here have died due to severe cold 2 years ago and have been replaced by a new kind of lizard with a curly tail which, when they get large enough, get a bit aggresive and eat geckos etc.

Also, having a pool in the back yard does not suck.

It is the rainy season, whcih reminds me a lot of Hawaii.

I start work Tuesday. I feel fat and tired.