Is this a home improvement blog?

So we hired a contractor to remove the wallpaper and paint, as well as repair the water damage and paint the ceiling in our bedroom. The impetus for this whole thing was the water damage that insurance was paying for, so we decided to pull the trigger and get the walls done as well.  They only painted where they primed on the ceiling (kinda). I complained so the owner sent a couple of guys out to "fix" it. They half assed it again, and there are paint drips/smears all over my hardwood floors, they didn't cut in, and you can see where they missed spots.

Please note that even though we've asked multiple times, the owner hasn't actually come out to inspect the work his guys did. He offered to send them back out, assured me that the paint will come off the floors (great, you gonna come do that???), and told me how he's losing money on this job.

I guess we will spend our holiday weekend trying to fix this crap so we can move back into our bedroom. I just don't really want the crew back given the mess they've already made on the floor, you know?

Yesterday everything was "poo poo".  It kind of became a joke, but really, I felt like I walked around all day with a cloud over my head.  I don't like feeling that way - I have a lot to be grateful for.  But some days the stress of so many things (house not selling, T's unemployment on the heels of my own), everyday frustrations, etc. just leave me feeling overwhelmed.

I just remind myself it's okay to have those days but to remember that isn't every day.

4th time's a charm?

The house is under contract with the flipper.  He is going to try & schedule the inspection for Friday.  I could use any good thoughts, prayers, whatever.  I need this house SOLD, even if I am letting this guys steal it - I need this over.

The joys of being a grown-up (not)

After discussion, T and I decided to cancel our annual camping trip up to PA.  I am so very bummed, but taking a vacation when we are facing taking a big hit whenever we do manage to sell the house isn't a responsible move.  It's not the trip itself, but we were looking at renting a larger car since ours are both small, plus having to kennel the new dog (Susie) because she is too anxious to spend over a week at my mom's, plus I was taking the time off unpaid - which all added up to a mighty expensive camping trip!

Yesterday I met friends for breakfast, did my grocery shopping, and did the food prep for the week.  Breakfasts are a wrap with my faux gyro flavored ground meat (I had beef in the freezer, so I used that), lunches are bean and guacamole tostadas, snacks are varied: nuts, cheese, yogurt, lunch meat, protein shake, prunes - 200 or so calories of what sounds good that day.

I've quit buying soda at home - I still have one in a restaurant occasionally, but I've cut way back.  So that's good!  At work I drink flavored or sparkling water or unsweetened tea.

T has a job interview starting right this minute - fingers crossed for him!

So yes, we finally set a wedding date! And I didn't realize I didn't post about it, so no wonder you are confused!!!

We were thinking about the end of this year sometime but wanted to see if my son could do it after he got his captain's license.  But he wouldn't be able to in NC, we knew we didn't want a big wedding, we didn't want to elope to Vegas, and we didn't want "just" a JoP downtown.  We were mulling it over in the car on our way to Asheville the weekend before and I popped up and said "If F can't marry us, I'd just like to get married on the beach."  Well, a friend of my son has a friend that is an officiant at the beach! I wanted Columbus Day weekend since it's a long weekend for me and I have virtually no vacation this year since I just started this job.  But T's son was supposed to get married on October 13.  Well, darn if 4 hours later he didn't send a message that they had decided to postpone their wedding a year.

So, we are getting married on the beach on Saturday October 7th!  We are looking at late morning and then going back to my son & gf's house 4 blocks away and having a shrimp boil & seafood & apps for lunch.  And sparkling punch! :-)  It's going to be very small: his parents, sister and BiL, son & fiancee, plus my mom & Jan (ex MIL) and F (my son) and his gf.

So even though there is LOTS of financial stress, life is good. :-)

Stress

There is an inverse relationship between my actual stress level and the stress/complexity level I want in my entertainment. Which should explain why I'm watching LEGO Batman and reading my great grandmother's WW2 romance novels. Don't judge me.

Moving On

The contract on the Florida house fell through.

Friday

Made the tofu stir fry with thai peanut sauce last night - it was amazing.

I bought this dress on sale from Catherine's yesterday:

What do you think of that as a potential dress to wear to an October beach wedding?

The dog ate my peanut sauce

T had planned to make a tofu stir fry with thai peanut sauce for dinner.  The tofu was baked, brown rice made, sauce made, veggies ready to go. We wandered out of the kitchen, being not quite ready to eat.  Imagine our surprise to discover that the dog had reached up on the counter, grabbed the (thankfully non breakable) bowl of thai peanut sauce, and eaten it!  The sauce was mostly peanut butter and soy sauce.  She drank a lot of water last night, but thankfully seems none the worse for the wear!  We went to the diner for dinner.

Random

I think there is one thing many people who are either overweight or have been in an emotionally abusive relationship have in common: they no longer trust their instincts.  It makes sense to me.  Maybe your inner voice has led you down a path of being overweight, out of shape, and/or experiencing health issues as a result of your food choices. Maybe someone in your life (friend, boss, SO) has repeatedly told you that your feelings and responses are inappropriate or wrong. Either way the message is that your instincts are misleading you.

Once the message that you can't trust yourself has been accepted, it's tough to change. I know I took my last job for 2 reasons: 1) I saw it as a new and different opportunity (ignoring the warning signs) and 2) despite telling others and myself that I was okay with the time off, I wasn't.  After nearly 18 years of being the primary (sometimes sole) provider for my family, being out of work made me very uncomfortable.  As a result, I took on a misdefined role for which I was poorly suited. When your boss says "I think we set you up for failure", even they probably have realized their plan was poorly conceived. My response was "yes, you did."

I'm now in a role where I believe I can be successful, but a lot of the time I still feel skittish wondering whether I am doing things the right way.  Am I doing enough? I'm hoping I will feel more confident as time passes (I seem to be so far). I do like this job.

All or nothing

All or nothing is a trap, a fallacy, one a lot of people fall into.  T is the perfect example of someone who lives in that trap.  He lost a lot of weight doing Medifast - which he followed perfectly.  But count calories or practice moderation?  Not so much.  That makes it easy for me to give in.  I need to remember that I am an adult, I am responsible for my own choices.

I looked at Medifast, but it's hard for me to justify spending $600/month for the 2 of us to eat dust packets. I can do a lot better a lot cheaper, but I admit sticking to your own plan is a lot harder for me than just being handed a regime to blindly follow.

Right now there are some great things happening in my life: our relationship is good and we have (tentatively) set a wedding date.  It looks like the Florida house might actually close sometime next week. I am really enjoying my new job.  The last one did such a number on my mind, it has been difficult to let my guard down.  But I do believe that this one may work out really well.

I find that I see myself a certain way, I have a certain "lifestyle" I visualize and say I want to live that way, and then I don't.  I feel like the values I say (at least to myself) I have and the way I live my life don't always align. I find this especially true when it comes to health and fitness, but it's true in other areas as well.  Why the disconnect? What's the truth?  This is something I need to get to the root of.

Friday

House: no news.  Buyer's realtor assures us we're in the final stage and should have a closing day any time.  I countered the offer from the flipper.  Haven't heard back on that.

Saw "Wonder Woman" last night.  I really enjoyed it.  Then I went home and had a slice of cheese and 2 beers, because I apparently am not wonder woman.  But I was hungry. And tired. It was a tough day.  Neighbor flipped out on T because he was mowing the grass at 8:45 AM.  Freaked us both out.  Up till this point, he's been a quiet neighbor.  I took the dogs with us and dropped them at mom's while we were at the movie because I didn't want them home in the event he decided to retaliate.  Maybe I was just being paranoid - I hope so.  But it gave me peace of mind.

We have a very busy weekend planned.  I am the treasurer for our local medieval education group and I need some help with our Q1 report.  The gal is is supposed to help has been working 6-7 days/week, so we are driving up to Asheville to meet her after dinner Saturday. Since Wednesday was T's birthday, we are using it as an excuse to have a nice meal up there.  Since it will be late, I scored a good deal on a cute hotel on a website and that will be his birthday gift - a short getaway to the mountains.

T has not been very motivated to make dinner lately, so I've been looking for recipes that I can prep ahead - either stuff for the crock pot or cookie sheet dinners so he isn't responsible every night, because that hasn't been working out.  Do you have an easy dinner that you love?  Let me know!

Have a great weekend!

Groundhog Day

Oh, just go read my last post - nothing has changed.  Le sigh.

Today is T's birthday.  We celebrated with his folks yesterday and I brought th ecake into the office today.  It won't be making the return trip after work! LOL

The Lady or the Tiger?

Do you remember that short story from school?  Well, that's how my life feels right now.

I finally heard from my realtor.  SUPPOSEDLY (according to the buyer's agent that I don't really trust), the lender is supposed to approve the loan today and we should be able to set a closing date. This house has been under contract since 24 February, originally scheduled to close 14 April. So how confident am I? One a scale of 1 to 10 maybe a 2.

OTOH, I have had an offer (subject to inspection) from a flipper my realtor knows.  It would be cash and he would do the inspection quickly, but the offer is for significantly less that the offer I currently have.

I'd love for this deal to close - the house is worth what it's under contract for, but it has now been under contract for 15 months and I need it gone, so taking the lesser offer just to get it gone v. holding out for a better offer  if this one falls through is looking pretty good.

It would be a financial hit - I was counting on the sale of the house to make up for my long stretch of unemployment, but emotionally and financially I just need to move on. I can't continue to pay mortgage and utilities for 2 houses.

Ugh - being a grown up can be highly overrated at times!!!

Tough Choices

Carrying 2 mortgages for 15 months (10 of them unemployed) has left my finances a mess.  And there's the little matter of T loaning me the money for the down payment on this house, thinking he'd get it back in a couple of weeks.

Fast forward 14 months: he needs that money, the house hasn't sold, the last deal seems to have fallen through (my realtor is in Europe and I haven't heard from her in days), and I continue to hemorrhage money.

Do I take money out of my 401(k) to at least pay T back what I owe him?  I know they say you shouldn't do that, but the penalty is less than what I will pay in interest on credit cards once the intro balance transfer rate goes away.......

Some days being a grown up is highly overrated.

Locked out

Yes, I locked myself out of my google account! :-O

In spite of life's challenges, things are going pretty well: exercise is happening 5-6 times per week, food is being watched, weight is coming off (slowly).

Given the continued life stress, I am grateful things are working.  I try to keep it in perspective and be thankful for the things I have.

I'm here, just once I get home from work, eat, exercise, spend time with T, there's not a lot of time & energy left for blogging.  I'm doing the things instead of posting about the things. :-)

Still checking in on others from time to time, but that's fallen by the wayside as well - for now.

Take care.