When anxiety attacks

Yesterday I worked from home. It was nice - I took my car in for an oil change and on breaks put some things away etc., so the house is in better shape.

My son ended up driving back up here Tuesday after work (he took the week off!). He's helping mom with some stuff around her house. We met up and had dinner last night which was nice.

Work has been a strange blend of hectic (it's our busiest time of year) coupled with quiet since my boss is out, and folks have been taking time off throughout the week. Everything is very much not normal - which is both good and bad. (I thrive on routine).

I had a (mild) anxiety attack on the way to work this morning. I'm not sure if it was random (which is possible), or if it's possibly related to the trip to Disney in a couple of weeks. I'm wondering if it was triggered by T's BIL stopping by yesterday and discussing the trip.

Why would a trip to Disney lead to anxiety:

• While I know T's mother fairly well, I haven't spent a great deal of time with his sister or BIL. And his BIL's politics are pretty much the polar opposite of mine (to me, they veer off into wacky territory). 
• I don't do well with crowds.
• I don't do well in situations where I feel like I have no control (and this whole trip has been planned, regimented, booked, and reserved, right down to our designated "do your own thing" couple of breaks).

I am afraid I am going to get tired, overwhelmed, or just stressed and not feel like I have it in my power to do anything about it.

The trip is an anniversary trip for T's mom and his dad is footing the bill, so it's really all about his mom. Which is cool, but I am also nervous since so many things about this situation are pretty far out of my comfort zone.

Just needed to put that out there.

Take care.

And back to work!

I am back at work today. My son & his gf got here in time for a quick dinner before church Sunday (8 pm). It was really nice. Then we rode around a looked at some Christmas lights before T and I headed home.

Yesterday was really nice - the meal was nice, the gifts were nice, and I think overall a good time was had by all.

Now I'm back to work. I hope 2018 brings us all peace, health, and prosperity. :-)

p.s. My son is studying marine technology (i.e. all things about boats)! :-)

Happy Holidays

Here's an idea of helping to spark joy in your life: Reverse bucket list

And here are a few holiday movies I've been enjoying this year: A diva’s Christmas carol, The Spirit of Christmas, 12 Dates of Christmas, Get Santa, Pete's Christmas. And of course the usual classics.

T is off work today so I asked him to clean the house. He didn't sound very enthused, but I don't care. He is also going to make pate, which will make him happy. He loves to cook.

So, T's permanent teaching assistant job starts 8 January! No need to go through the agency or be on 120 days probation since he has been subbing with the school system over 120 days!! Not sure when his health benefits will kick in, but this is HUGE for us. I don't know how much I've written about it here: the school district has a contract with an agency for hiring it's exceptional children teachers and TAs. So they weren't sure how to work it all since he was already an employee, but this is the best outcome. So yay!

Hopefully we can get him off my insurance through work since it is costing a fortune and we will be able to figure out a budget and start making progress on our debt.

I'm happy to say that the year is ending on a high note for my family. Oh, did I mention my son got straight As this semester in college????? :-)

We have so many things to be thankful for this year. It has been a dark year in so many ways, I hope next year is brighter for us all.

It's coming quickly

Christmas seems to be sprinting toward us this year. I finally mailed my cards out, and we put the lights on the tree last night.  If Susie doesn't seem too interested, we'll put decorations up this weekend.

We saw "The Last Jedi" (loved it), I bought my last gift, and I finished making my son's wrench bag (I made a custom bag for his large wrenches).

All in all it was a productive weekend but I didn't overdo it. We got food prep done yesterday to set us up for success. Today is just walking & kettlebell swings. Maybe not the best workout but enough to count. I needed to work through lunch today.

It's going to be somewhat busy at work, but the team seems to be ending the year on a positive note, so that's good.

Take care.

Where did the week go?

Friday what!?!?!?

T got offered a full time job by the school system!!!!

It's nice to be loved

It's great to hear that someone loves you, it's even better (in my book) to be shown you are loved. Last night T made dinner, went to the gym, got air in my tires while I took a shower, then cleaned the kitchen. Lordie am I lucky.

Today I am going to put on big girl panties yet again and go to Wal-yuck for a couple of items. After THAT, the gym should be a piece of cake! LOL

Sunday we roasted a 15 pound turkey. I vacuum sealed some to send with my son after Christmas, but we are also using it for meals this week. Last night was turkey, tonight is turkey quesedillas, later in the week will be turkey & dumplings, and I'm tossing some in to my lima bean soup (don't judge me, I love it) for lunches. T started his month long substitute gig so I wanted something easy for us to work with to build dinners around. He is making salt & pepper tofu one night though - it is really excellent.

Assuming I survive my foray into retail he!!, I will be making my way to the gym for a session of HIIT. I am also doing some weights today in the form of 200 kettlebell swings.

Take care!

I did it

I went to the gym.

I did NOT want to go, but I put on my big girl panties and did a HIIT workout. I ate my packed lunch, and got my butt into the office.

All of these felt like nearly insurmountable obstacles for some reason today.

Sometimes I am ridiculous.

Jump in where you are (blogus interruptus)

I had typed in the title Friday when my boss came in - we decided to bail early due to the snow. We got more than expected, and because it was supposed to be above freezing, no one thought any would stick. The result was roads that hadn't been prepped, schools that were forced to dismiss early, and school systems that didn't regretting it when buses were in accidents.

It took T 2.5 hours to make a 30 minute drive - I had to go the same route plus some, so I am VERY glad that I left work at 1:30! I was home by 3 - he wasn't too sure when he would be getting home. Hwy 109 is a hilly 2 lane, and it was BAD.

Anyway, I posted that title to remind myself to just start now and not worry about where I wish I were.

Busy

This week has been hectic. I needed to work at home Monday, so I'm in the office today.  I've tried to peck away a bit at a time on the stupid long "to do" list. At lunch I went by the post office and picked up stamps and worked on the little newsletter (a short note and a couple of pictures) to go in with the holiday cards.

The dog trainer was a no show for a second week in a row, so we requested (and received) a refund for the class and will try again at a different location after the holidays.

Last night and tonight we are eating leftovers - thank goodness for leftovers! It keeps us from eating out or eating crap. Tomorrow is lasagna soup in the crock pot. It's a new recipe, so I hope it comes out well.

T has a job interview Friday - fingers crossed!

Take care.

Thanks

First, thanks Karen for reading and commenting! If you don't follow Karen's blog, she's lost weight and successfully maintained for several years now. It's worth reading a maintenance blog for many reasons - including the fact that it's nice to be reminded that long term weight loss is possible, and an honest look at the reality that it remains work. I think a lot of times people have unrealistic expectations about what happens when they lose weight.

The weekend was really good. No, we didn't get much Christmas decorating done. I did finish all 12 of the dog scarves! We deep cleaned the great room, did a bunch of laundry, went on a DATE, ran errands, and talked. And got some of the Christmas decorations up.

Like me, T is a worrier. Sometimes that's not good. But it is good when we can sit down and talk. I know he is worried about retirement, but he keeps moving forward. We are planning to sit down with a financial planner in the near future. I think knowledge helps curb fear, so sitting down with a pro and getting a plan in place will be helpful.

I really think I am going through menopause - I feel hormonal all the time. Ugh,

Take care!

Friday - better

This just seems to have been a rough week.  I've felt tired and really behind the curve as far as Christmas. The holiday is supposed to be about enjoying friends and family, but there is a lot of built in pressure.

My plan is to work on things this weekend, see what I get accomplished, and then adjust my schedule going forward as needed.

Despite the frustration with the health insurance thing, overall things are going well.  A lot of great stuff has happened this year, and the only large piece we need to fall into place is for T to find a full time job.

I just get so frustrated with myself.

Okay, have a god weekend!