New year, same me

 Just wanted to touch base today. I'm doing a lot of thinking about what I hope to achieve next year - in all aspects of my life. Like many of us, this year took me for a wild ride. Some things have definitely improved, others definitely have not. In some areas I feel like I abdicated control and allowed stress & fears to take over. Overall, I want to work on getting better at managing emotions rather than allowing them to manage me!

More to come on that thought. In the interim, stay safe & healthy my friends!

Another Christmas in the books

 Thank you for the kind comments. I invited Jan over to have supper with us this Saturday. I'm not making a huge spread, but I did end up buying a turkey on sale so I'm going to do that, spinach souffle, and mashed cauliflower. She can hang out for a couple of hours and watch a Christmas movie and visit. So that will be nice. Work is a bit slow this week so I am trying to catch up - at work and at home. I feel like this week is a lull in the action - I'm not doing horribly but I'm more focused on walking the dogs & cleaning the house than lifting weights. All that changes nest week.

My son's covid test was negative so we were able to see each other at Christmas!!!! Yes, I know just how fortunate that makes me and my family.

Much love to you all and here's to a brighter 2021!

Just sad

 Well, my son's gf got her results back. Her test was negative. Now she took it just a couple of days after exposure, but so far so good.

My ex MIL isn't doing well. She fell on her porch Tuesday night and fainted. Thankfully a policeman was patrolling through the neighborhood and saw her, otherwise she probably would have frozen to death. Neither of her sons care that she is not competent to care for herself. I try to help her some, but I can't take on my ex MIL, you know? I just feel horrible.

I am sad and stressed. 

What a day

 Good news - I'm down 3 pounds this week. So that's awesome! Bad news - a friend and neighbor of my son's have covid so the boy is going for a test. Sigh. this momma is worried.

Take care & be safe!

Anxious

 

I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling more anxiety than usual! LOL Deprived of my 3 main destressors, (the gym, my SCA hobby, seeing friends and family) I have turned to food (and occasionally wine). The combination of increased calories and decreased exercise has of course led to weight gain. This week I've worked to identify (and try) some new methods of dealing with stress.

What's worked (so far):

• I love the calm app! They have a 7 day intro to meditation and I've done 5 days in a row. This is an awesome quick hit.
• Limiting my list. I make myself a daily "to do" list. It's typically stupid long and I end up exhausted or giving up. Either way I feel bad about it. I've decided to limit my list to no more than 5 items. If I get those done and still feel good, I can add 1 at a time.

What might work:

• Lunch yoga doesn't work very well. First thing after a cup of coffee and a small bite to eat seems to work best. Not sure how I feel about Adrienne (I'm doing her 30 day "True" series on amazon prime), but I really need both the stretch and the peace.

What doesn't seem to help:

• My Verilux lamp. Oh well. 

Things I haven't tried:

• Paper journaling
• EFT (emotional focus therapy. aka "tapping")

This morning I woke up and realized no one had put out the recycling. So I frantically ran out into the cold rain to get that done. I was grouchy because T had said he would do it. I was hungry and needed to feed the dogs. I couldn't remember when I had washed my hair so I really wanted a shower. I had an early meeting (8:30). By the time the dogs were fed I had time for yoga or shower. I opted for shower & hair washing. As I said, lunch yoga didn't work great - I think my yoga or kettlebells have to be in the morning before work. I did put on real clothes (with a bra!) and make up. My hair was sort of fixed. That's a HUGE step for me. 

I don't have any answers, but I keep on trying.

Where I am

 Today I went to Goodwill and picked up a pair of jeans and a couple of cute tops. I'm tired of only having yoga/ pajama pants that fit. I'm tired of having a drastically limited selection of shirts to choose from. I'm tired of feeling like my too small clothes are judging me. I'm tired of judging myself for gaining back some of the weight. 

I bought a pair of jeans that fit. I bought a cute holiday fleece top for running around. I am getting out my holiday earrings. I am okay where I am right now. I am going to take care of myself. Today I did 2 laps (1.5 miles), I did yoga, I did day 3 on the calm app. I have made myself healthy food. I did some errands but not too much, and I took a nap when I needed one. 

Take care.

Thank you

 Thank you for your comments! I live in NC, but really cases are crazy everywhere right now aren't they? So I quit the gym - I still haven't bothered to go over to Planet Fitness, but that's on my list for today or tomorrow as well. So yeah, from 3 gym memberships down to none. Thankfully I have a well put together home gym and dogs to walk. I've gained roughly 25 pounds since this started. I don't feel good about that. I do feel good about the fact that every time I donate blood, my covid antibodies test comes back negative. So I just need to keep on doing the things in my control to keep from getting this terrible disease. It's still no guarantee, but it's the best I can do.

In the meantime I'm looking for coping strategies other than food or wine. Sigh. 

If you have an American Express, you can get a year of the Calm App (premium) for free and your next year half off. Offer good through 12/31. There are loads of yoga shows for free on amazon prime. Start a blog! Or a paper journal. I have a verilux sun lamp, although I'm not sure I really need it (it was a gift). My husband is a restaurant manager - he has to be out in public. He's incredibly stressed right now. It's tough. I'm trying to do what I can to not only take care of my own mental and physical health, but to be supportive of him as well.

That's all I got today. Take care of yourselves out there.

Conflicted

 Gyms are open here (for now), although with the new caveat that you must wear a mask while exercising. At first I was excited about getting back into a routine - y'all know how much I love the gym. I was careful and I felt pretty good about it. Now cases are spiking like crazy here and I haven't been in 2.5 weeks. I just don't feel good about it. Maybe I should just cancel for now and try again once things are better under control?

Thoughts?

Need to.....

 Right now my life feels like it's full of "need to"s. I need to walk the dogs, feed myself and my family better, exercise, put up the Christmas tree. What I really "need to" is stop making myself feel badly about all the things I'm not doing/ not doing well and accept where I am right this minute. And maybe take the dog for a walk.

Strategies

 Good morning.

First, I'd like to share an article a friend shared with me: Toxic Positivity To sum it up: It's ok to say you aren't ok! 

I talked through some strategies yesterday: yoga, meditation (Did you know American Express is offering a free year of the calm app to it's cardmembers?), EFT Therapy (a way to destress yourself), blocking a short self care break (or 2!) into the day, journaling, you get the idea. I am going to explore and try some/ all of these and see what clicks for me. 

Yesterday was better - just talking through strategies helped me realize that I am not unique in struggling right now and that there are things I can do to help myself.

Hang in there. :-)

All the stuff

 Thank you for the comment Paula! Yes - covid, the lockdown, the political climate, it's all so stressful & sad and totally uncharted territory. We're all going through stuff - but are being impacted in different ways.

Both my husband and I are making less money now that we were at the beginning of the year. So dealing with work anxiety, financial anxiety, being on top of each other at home. I set up a nicer home office out of the living room so he could watch tv without bothering me, but because his desk is in here as well he feels like he doesn't have a personal space. It's frustrating. 

I've gained 2.5 pounds both of the past 2 weeks. I didn't go to the gym at all last week. I did do a bit better yesterday. That's despite the fact I hit my driver side mirror on the fence backing out of the driveway and broke it. It's going to be $125 dollars I don't really have to take care of that.. Sigh.

Trying to get through the day without getting into the food to deal with it.

Take care.

I'm not okay, you're (probably) not okay either - and I guess that has to be okay

 Hi.

In this case I haven't been posting because I haven't been doing well. Although I don't really discuss it here, I have PTSD. As the lockdown has progressed, my coping skills haven't really kept up and I keep reverting back to previous coping skills (like food). And I feel badly because there are folks who have been MUCH more impacted than me, but minimizing my feelings doesn't help anyone else. 

I sent a note to my counselor and today I am focused on doing things that are caring for myself rather than the house or whatever. I have to make self care a priority, and I haven't been.

Take care of yourselves.

Catching Up

 Been a busy week so far! We opted to do the holiday lights and save the winery - I'm glad we did. We would have been overly tired if we had tried to do both things. We loved the lights. Last minute we decided to take the dogs with us - they loved it! Not just riding in the car, but Susie especially seemed intrigued by the light show. I'm so glad we took them!

I made a quick trip down to my mom's - her birthday is this Saturday but I am not traveling for Thanksgiving, so we celebrated a week early. Food went a bit off the rails but I will just get back on plan! Work has been busy and I am trying to catch up on my house chores, not to mention take advantage of the nice weather to bathe a dog, mow the yard, etc. etc. 

My holiday plans are a very small meal Saturday with just the in-laws and spending Thursday and Friday working on Christmas decorations & watching holiday movies. 

Stay safe & smart!

Never mind

 Okay, I lost 1.2 pounds this week. Not on fire but slow & steady. Since we are going on a date tonight, I did an AM workout. I liked it! Not a time that will work every day, but for today it let me get in a workout, and I am grateful. It is amazing to me how much better I feel when I work out. It's incredible.

We are going to go see a Christmas lights display this evening. Put in some holiday music and just enjoy. I am excited! A local winery is also doing these socially distanced outdoor evenings, so we're packing up the camp chairs and headed to that as well. 

Some things are crazy, but some things are really, really good.

Take care & have a terrific weekend!

Well poo

 So my weight loss seems to have stalled. Blech. We'll see what happens. Headed to see my mom this weekend - before the holiday to avoid traffic and reduce any chance of exposure. I'm keeping busy on house projects and trying to settle in to my new routine of doing a later (less crowded) Cross Fit class. There were 4 people there Monday in a good sized warehouse area, nearest person was a good 20+ feet away.

We are trying some new budgeting software called YNAB - not super intuitive, but so far we are liking it!

Take care - stay safe & smart!

Choices

 I was feeling kind of run down this weekend. As a result, I did some over eating to make myself feel better. Oh well, back in the saddle again.

Like pretty much everywhere, Covid cases are rising here. As much as I enjoy the 4:30 class at the gym it is just too popular. Yes, they take precautions but .. people. I am going to try the 5:30 PM class. The time isn't as convenient, but I understand attendance is maybe half. I need the gym for my mental health, but I need to be smart & safe as well.

I cleaned off the porch & back patio, the beds are mulched, grass mowed, and yard is just about ready for winter. Just need to get shrubs trimmed. 

T's work remains stressful. I do what I can to make things easy for him here at home. But sometimes that just leaves me overwhelmed. I think we're all struggling with balance these days.

Take care.

tired

 Put out mulch today, so I am whipped. Lost 1.5 pounds. Have a good weekend.

Sorry for disappearing!

 

I can't believe it haven't posted in over a week! I'm sorry about that! It's just been kind of boring - T's work is a bit stressful so I'm trying to pick up the slack at home, manage our food - cook really nice dinners since it's the one "meal" we really eat, and juggle work, CrossFit, and manage my stress about the election. You know, nothing special. HA HA HA

Things are going fine with the diet & exercise. I went to the office & packed up my stuff and now have a home office that's a lot more functional here at the house. I have my big monitors etc. We bought a filing cabinet off fb marketplace so T is getting an office upgrade as well. I've also been doing a bit of fall yardwork (raking), putting down weed killer & mulch etc and some holiday sewing. In short, life is going along.

Take care!

Still working the plan

 Headed to CrossFit in a few minutes, but I wanted to check in. The weekend was pretty good, if not very productive. Ah well, nothing wrong with watching movies on Halloween! :-)

We're going along - it's nice to be doing this together and be eating the same things. Makes it easier and more fun. Last night I took a bar and mixed it in the brownie mix and made chocolate/ caramel cookies. One thing is that (like many places) they are having supply issues so the savory foods are more limited. Lots of sweet options available, but I'm just not that into sweets.

Yes, this is a highly processed diet, no I would NOT eat this way long term. But I'm feeling better already. And I continue to take my supplements and put a variety of the lower starch veggies in our diet and use a green superfoods power supplement as well.It may be boring but I don't think I'm going to get scurvy in the next couple of months. Lol

Take care.

Thoughts after 1.5 weeks

 We started Optavia 1.5 weeks ago. We chose it for several reasons I've already written about. My biggest concern going in was being hungry. And I have been hungry at times, but not miserable. And it's generally only a few minutes before i'm supposed to eat again. If it gets too uncomfortable they do have some "snack" options you can use to help tide you over. One thing I didn't expect going in was those few days of having no energy. That is much better! I can't say I'm at 100%, but I'm at 90-95%. And that's with adding in CrossFit. I lost 4.8 pounds this week - 7.8 since I started.

I found a terrific website: http://www.sandyskitchenadventures.com/ which has loads of recipes for our dinner meal as well as "hacks" for the Optavia fuelings. There have been a couple of things we weren't terribly impressed with, but overall the food is pretty good!

Pros:

Easy - you really don't have to do much thinking other than to plan your evening dinner. And you can even order those, although the choices are limited.

Convenient - easy to take "on the go" - whether traveling or to work. Even with no access to a microwave at work, T has a decent variety. If all you had a work was a microwave you could eat anything they offer. Being at home, I can take advantage of some of the hacks (I've taken the instant mashed potatoes and turned them into potato soup or a potato cake for example). 

Helps you learn portion control and educates you about the "hidden" sugars/ carbs/ calories in your food.

Cons:

Cost - at roughly $3/serving (and you eat 5 a day!) it is more expensive than eating at home. But it is cheaper than eating out and/or if you buy a bunch of junk.

Repetition - If you had a LOT of weight to lose and/ or were on this program a long time I think it would get boring. It also limits a large number of foods (like fruit!), which could become difficult over time.

Overall, I'm glad I'm not on this forever! Am I learning anything new? Not really, BUT it is teaching me (yet again) about weighing, measuring, portion control, choosing foods wisely etc. I'd love it if it would stick, but honestly, given everything going on right now I'm not beating myself up too much about it. I still kept off the bulk of my loss (and T kept off a huge chuck of his as well) so I know we can be successful long term when we come off this.

Take care, Happy Halloween, have a good weekend!

So far so good.

 We did our week 1 check in with our coach last night. I typically record my weight on Fridays, bu we started this on a Tuesday (T had the day off and thought it would be easier to start then). In one week he dropped 16 pounds and I dropped 6. Granted the bulk of that is water weight since we are doing a low carb diet, but we are both feeling better already.

The food isn't too bad and it's help me get back to the discipline of not mindlessly eating or eating for reasons other than hunger. I've made some really excellent dinners. T used to turn his nose up at cauli rice & that sort of thing and now he's eating it without complaint!!

You guys, I had been hovering around 160 for a while and then skyrocketed up to 182. I felt miserable and completely out of control. I can give you a list of reasons but one of the big ones is I was tired of going it alone. I am so thankful we are doing this together, I can't even tell you. 

Take care of yourself. I know it's hard, believe me. Big hugs to you all.

What we're doing (and why)

 I have regained a good chuck of weight since the end of March, and my husband has as well. It hasn't been a straight trajectory - I've made an effort. But the combination of no gym, no dress code, no social interaction, and every kind of stress imaginable has made it an uphill battle.

He finally indicated a readiness to lose weight. We aren't always on the same page, but this is something I wanted us to do together. For that reason I told him to pick a diet and I would do it with him for at least 30 days. My rationale was that even if it wasn't the diet for me, at least I would understand how to feed him. Part of our challenge is his schedule at work coupled with the fact that he works in a restaurant. It would actually be a health code violation for him to take home prepared food in! So that meant packaged food for him during the day. 

You guessed it - we're on Medifast (only now it's rebranded Optavia). He has used it in the past and lost 80 pounds. He regained a chunk after he & his ex split, then lost a good chunk, then (with me during covid) regained some. But he knows it works, is doable with his job, and he knows what to expect. Like I said, I agreed to try whatever he wanted for 30 days. We're on day 4. My energy is beginning to make a comeback but I'm still hungry. Having said that, I'm NOT starving and miserable. I will keep you guys posted!

Oh, and I am trying out the local CrossFit gym - I gotta do something for my sanity!

Vacation Recap Part 4

 Day 7 was T's most anticipated day - an airboat ride through the Everglades! After breakfast at Cracker Barrel (don't judge, it was right next to the hotel) we made our way almost all the way across the state on Hwy 41 to Everglades City. Yes, we saw 2 alligators during the ride. It was pretty fun! We grabbed some lunch in Everglades City (I of course had to order alligator!). On the way back we took a road marked "scenic drive" (and it was, but it took longer than expected. lol). We did stop in for a short visit to Big Cypress National Preserve but then made our way back so we would have time to hit Schnebly winery in Homestead. All of their wines are made with locally grown tropical fruits and they are amazing and unique! So that was a blast. I have to say the overall experience wasn't as fun as the last time we went. I think a large part of it was that it was near the end of the day, there were only a couple of people there, and the employee was more interested in his phone than the customers. So bummer. I think this was the night we ate at the Italian place in Homestead (or was that the day before and this was Pollo Tropical??) and then we pretty much crashed out.  It doesn't sounds it, but it was a busy & long day!

Day 8 was tough. Our intent was to see some of Everglades National Park. And we did do a little bit but there is a lot of road construction so we didn't see as much as I had hoped and spent a fair bit of time stopped. We headed out to make a noon lunch date in Sunrise at the beloved Sunrise Pita Grill where we saw a guy my son went to high school with down there. It was great to catch up and we met his lovely 1 year old daughter! Then the plan was to drive to Savannah - a long drive but manageable. We hadn't counted on all the time in the car at the park, the off & on from the turnpike to the restaurant, and then a missed turn left us stuck on the turnpike until practically Orlando! We stopped for a quick bit at a random Panera and pushed on until we arrived in Savannah - tired and CRANKY. We went to bed but we were both so wound up it took quite a while to actually fall asleep.

Day 9 was supposed to be sigh seeing in Savannah, but at this point we were so over tired & ready to be home. So we got up, ate breakfast, and headed home. I kissed my dogs (but not the ground), but man it felt good to be home!

Vacation Recap Part 3

 Days 5 and 6 we didn't have anything booked in advance. We wandered over to the sister property for breakfast, chilled out at the hotel's beach, walked over to El Siboney for an amazing Cuban lunch, then did the trolley for a while. We had dinner at a place called Salute! right by the hotel (again, walking distance for the win) and then did the haunted Key west trolley tour, which was loads of fun!

The next day we lolled around the pool & beach of the Waldorf (the rooms were mediocre and the overall property felt like it needed from refurbishing, but the beach & pools rocked) until time to check out. We stopped in Marathon for another Cuban lunch (not as good but still good) and made our way up to Homestead where we were spending that night. Dinner was Pollo Tropical which is a fave of mine.

Vacation Recap Part 2

 Day 3

I had booked a glass bottom boat tour at John Pennekamp State Park for the afternoon. That morning included a trip to the sandal outlet for shoes for T. Of course I ended up getting a pair as well. :-) Lunch was a sub from Winn Dixie so we could scoot over to the park. The glass bottom boat was awesome! It was a lot of fun, although T did started getting a tiny bit seasick. Dinner that evening was at a Mexican place in Key Largo.

Day 4

This was (for me) the most anticipated day. We headed down to Islamorada to Robbie's for lunch and SNUBA diving (very much like SCUBA but no certification required). Since T isn't certified I thought this would be a good way for him to try it out and see if he liked it. Unfortunately he had a panic attack in the water. :-( It was really a shame since the conditions were perfect. Not only that, but there was a professional photographer on board and he made a short video for us!! After the dive we headed down to Key West, checked in at the Waldorf, and ate an incredible diner on the beach. 

Vacation Recap

 We're back and had a lovely time!!

We thought long and hard before we decided to pull the trigger and take a vacation. I was able to use points & vouchers for all our hotel rooms, which kept costs down. Because the Keys have been very strict about masks & safety and our activities were largely outdoors, we decided the physical risk of potential exposure was outweighed by our mental need for a break

Day 1 of our trip was boring driving. We left home, stopped in Columbia for lunch at a place a friend recommended called Henry's. Sadly she was in quarantine so wasn't able to meet us. After a yummy burger we pressed on, stopping for dinner in Jax at a Cracker Barrel. We had hoped to make Merritt Island and have dinner with my step sister, but it wasn't to be. We didn't even get to her place until nearly bedtime! She is an interior designer and her home is a really cool contemporary design that is reminiscent of art deco - lots of curved walls and glass block. She has some art that is reminiscent of Florida in the 30s and 40s - all in all a lovely and unique home. We had a brief visit before crashing. It had been a long day and what I thought would be the single longest day of driving.

Day 2 was breakfast and a nice visit with Tracey before we pushed on to Morikami Gardens in Del Ray Beach for a lovely stroll and Japanese lunch from their restaurant. Then we were off to Coral Springs to do a drive by of my old house, stop at Costco for booze, and a long visit with my dear friend Ellen. After that we were off to the Mai Kai -- longest running Polynesian show in the US! And while it is a bit cheesy, the band and MC were all from Polynesia and the dances were very well done. It was truly special and a unique experience. After that it was about an hour and a half to our hotel for the next 2 days - the Hampton Inn in Key Largo.

Great buy

 The best money I've spent so far this year is definitely my inflatable hot tub!! Our yard is small so there isn't a place for a traditional hot tub. We are seriously enjoying this one!

"Guests"

I love the term guests. Lol. Yeah, technically. The couple worked for Tim's company and found themselves rather suddenly with no place to stay (they had been staying with a relative). They were trying to save up for a deposit and we agreed they could stay for a week. Then my stepdad died and we were out of town so we asked them to stay on so the house wouldn't be empty. So 7 days turned into 28. I didn't know them until they moved in. They certainly aren't bad people, they are just very different form us. It was hard and let's just say I learned from the experience.

We are going to the Florida Keys. I have a Hilton American Express, so I earn points with my spending. I generally get a free night per year, but I was allowed to roll my last one so I am using 2 free nights plus points for 5 others, then staying with my step sister on the way down. It won't be a cheap trip, but since we aren't paying for any accommodations it won't be super expensive either. I'll post pictures!

I started walking the dogs again and I am slowly getting back to a routine. This year has been so crazy.

Have you guys seen these people on youtube? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmohanMEufw They live about an hour away, but I can so relate! It reminds me that I'm not the only one going slowly insane in the privacy of their own home.

You guys take care.

Baby steps

 Besides my stepdad passing away, work being all over the place, T going to physical therapy, the angst of quitting my beloved gym - did I mention we had a family of 3 staying with us for the last 4 weeks? It was difficult and I may have lost my mind. And liver. 

They moved out Sunday and I am slowly working to reclaim my house, my routine, and my sanity. We are leaving for vacation a week from today. I need it. So very much.

Back

 Well, I am back home and back at work today. I have to figure out a new routine. Between the weather change and the realization that my beloved gym is no longer between work and home, I have to find a new "normal".

Loads to say, but honestly just don't have the focus to write it all out.

Take care. More later.

Friday

 My stepdad passed away last night. He rallied the night before enough to have a crab cake for dinner. :-) That seems perfect. He was an amazing grandpa to my son.

Ugh

I'm using Chrome, so not sure about the not being able to comment thing. It seems to have started with the new interface. Gah.

So my stepdad has been given 48-72 hours to live. I am sitting here in a holding pattern waiting to find out details about service etc. We thought my great aunt was in her final stages, but she got up and started eating and talking so who knows????

I've probably gained a million pounds this week and I don't care. Whatever.

Thanks, and an update

First, thank you for the comments and well wishes. His doctor is running a ton of tests and mentioned things like thyroid, arthritis (RA is an autoimmune disorder!), etc. She's being very thorough and she also took him off his (new-ish) cholesterol medication just in case it was the culprit/ contributing factor.

Yesterday he reported feeling less stressed (I think I mentioned they've changed his responsibilities at work in the event he ends up needing to go out on FMLA), so he has less on his plate there and I think that alone is helping. Yesterday he had to run some supplies over to the Archdale unit since the manager there had forgotten to order to go supplies. T said that made him feel better in a way "Maybe I'm normal and everyone is forgetting stuff!" I told him I was sure there is some truth to that - we are ALL under an incredible amount of stress and just because we are all experiencing it doesn't make it any less real or scary.

For some reason when I go to other people's blogs and want to comment in only says "google account" but won't let me choose me. SO I can't comment on a lot of other folks accounts which I really hate!

I hope you all have a good weekend.

Oh! I was down a pound this week. I'll take it!

Take care.

Change

Well, they sent out the company wide communication regarding our department's re-organization. It said "effective immediately". When my boss left for vacation last week the timing was still TBD. So, the cat is out of the bag. We'll see what happens. I don't expect anything drastic in the short term.

This morning at breakfast T said he didn't remember the details of yesterday afternoon. Y'all, I am scared.

Take care.

Hanging in there

Thanks Paula - I so appreciate your comments! Do you have a blog?

Our new exercise bike arrived! T asked "Did you order this from Ikea?" Lol. Yeah, maximum assembly required. Eh, we'll figure it out.

Here is a picture:

My pictures don't really show a difference, but I can tell you that after drinking a gallon of water (straight water) every day for a week I am feeling a lot less bloated! I also began using a fiber supplement that I really love (it's from a company called Melaleuca) and lets just say I am more regular than I have ever been.

We've figured out a couple of dessert type things for T in the evening to satisfy his sweet tooth (The orange flavored fiber, a cup of pineapple juice, frozen mango. Vanilla protein powder with almond milk, ice, PBFit powder, and then 1 T each of pb and chocolate chips). His diet is getting overhaued as well. And after the doctor visit Monday he is on board. I am back to packing him an afternoon snack and sending a protein shake to work. He may not be making the healthiest choices there, but that's 1 meal a day and he's at least portion controlling.

Take care of yourselves - you only get one body.

Dr visit

My husband's doctor visit yesterday was a mixed bag. The good was we talked about what was going on (brain fog, short term memory issues, and his knees). Yesterday they did an x-ray of his knees (to rule out bursitis) and we have an appointment with mom's ortho for next Monday. She took about a gallon of blood for various tests (including covid antibodies and thyroid).

The not so good: she ran an EKG and he has an enlarged heart. Next week she is doing an ECG to figure out what is going on there. She is also doing a CT scan of his brain to rule out micro strokes and dementia. I'm not gonna lie, I'm concerned. But at least we're getting somewhere.

Please send some good energy our way.

Take care of yourselves.

For the better

Look at me, posting on a Saturday!

Our company bought a bunch of smaller, not doing so great companies. Which would normally make sense but now there are cash flow issues due to that + Corona. The CFO left back in March and I think the board wanted someone more conservative, hence the thing with the CEO. I actually am taking this as a good sign. The re-org will mean some changes to my job I'm sure, just not quite sure what or how. My boss will be the same at least. Not many companies are really hiring right now anyway it seems (at least here), but I'm willing to stick around a while & see how it goes.
I am more concerned about my husband's health issues. I am going with him for his doctor appointment Monday and we'll walk out of there with a plan of action or on the market for a new doctor. She's been blowing this stuff off for months and its only getting worse.

You can read about 75 Hard here if you are interested. I think it has helped me physically - I have cleaned up my diet and I am getting more exercise and water, but its also given me 1) something to focus on and 2) a sense of accomplishment.

Things are not great, but I am feeling a bit more myself at least. I'll take it.

Have a great weekend and take care of yourself.

Happy Friday

I'm not gonna credit drinking a gallon of water with changing my attitude, but I'm sure it helped. They announced the major re-org of our department yesterday (I had advance warning). Oh, did I mention that our CEO was invited to see his way out the door earlier in the week?

And have I mentioned we can now add brain fog to the mysterious leg/ knee pains my husband has been experiencing?

Yeah, TGIF.

Need a change

Y'all, I have been stressed. I don't want to get into all the details, but let's just say I am feeling pretty overwhelmed right now. I need to do something to help me feel like I can control some things, and be successful at some things.

I decided to do 75 Hard. This is more of a mental toughness challenge than a fitness one, although I am quite sure it will improve my health. Again, this is less about the scale and me feeling like I can persevere with some of the stressful stuff in my life right now. 

More to follow.

Yeah, I'm here

 

It's just been stressful. My work, my husband's work, my husband's knee injury, and I just reached a point where it's just been .. too much. I checked out for about a week. I'm scared to get on the scale. I talked to my doctor about getting some medicinal help and I am hopeful that between that and other measures I can get leveled off and back on track.

TGIF

 

Boring title but it's all I got. Weight was up a half pound - we did go out last night so maybe water weight or what I ate or maybe I'm really up. Oh well, that's not bad at all. 

We didn't get much from the hurricane and mom & the boy came through just fine. We have had several thunderstorms this week and the back yard is just super mushy, making mowing pretty difficult.

I'm glad it's nearly the weekend! I've made good progress on my guest room drapes. I'll post pictures when they are done.

Take care!

Hate the new interface

Well blogger put me back to their new template. I really don't like it. Whatcha gonna do?

That was T this morning. To say his work is stressful right now is a massive understatement. I'm doing my best to take care of stuff here so he can unwind as much as possible.

To that end, we bought a hot tub. Because we have a small yard with limited space to actually set one up, we bought a small inflatable one. We got in last night after dinner and it was really nice! I am hoping that will help him relax and help with the stiffness & soreness of standing all day.

My weight has fluctuated some this weekend and I'm still up a pound from Friday, but I lost 2 pounds last week and 1.5 the week before. So my covid 15 is down to the covid 9.

Take care of yourselves. We're expecting to get some bad weather from the hurricane.

When every day feels like Wednesday

Yesterday I woke up and the first thought in my head was to try & figure out what day it was. Especially because my husband has rotating days off, the days really all run together for me. This week he is off Thursday and Friday, so today is his "Friday" and my "Wednesday". It's both nice and frustrating.

Anyway, took care of some boring stuff around here, saw mom off yesterday, and I finished hemming the new curtains for my guest room. Now I need to make the pleats. It's a 50s room so it gets pinch pleat drapes, what can I say? :-)

Anyway, things are going ok. I've started adding an evening walk, which I am really enjoying.

Take care.

Doing ok

Good morning. Just checking in. I'm doing okay - just the same old same old. I have a very long period (5-6 days. Ugh). So when I dropped 1.5 pounds overnight I was relieved that there was a cause for me staying the same even though I had cleaned up my snacking.

Mom came up for a couple of dr appointments, it's been really nice having her here.

Take care!

Where I'm at

Not too much to report. This week has been less crazy so far. Busy, but less crazy. Work has said we're home and they will evaluate again in September. Salary decrease remains in place. :-(

I'm working on new curtains for my guest room, so that's exciting. It's hot here.

Take care.

What a week

Saturday my mom called, Jan (ex MIL) had fallen and been taken to the hospital. She'd forgotten her phone. Could I drive to Kernersville, get her keys, go to her apartment, and take her the phone? Then Sunday she needed a ride home from the hospital. Also Sunday found out a friend had a massive stroke Saturday. Ed died Wednesday. Also Wednesday T was going to make dinner (pasta carbonara). He was stirring it all together in a bowl and it slipped and it all ended up on the floor. We went out for Mexican and Dos Equis - my weight went up 2 pounds and hasn't gone back down.

How has your week been?

Frustrated

I feel like my stress level is part of the issue. Despite making many positive changes, the weight is just stuck. I have not been as consistent as I should be, but I've certainly been doing much better! In any case, that's where I am right now.

Stress

T's job is just a huge source of stress right now (lots of ridiculous employee drama). The weekend just pretty much sucked, neither of us have been sleeping well, my snacking has been out of control, and I am exhausted. I'm down to 2 pair of shorts and he has none. So it's time to get a grip and start doing the things I know I need to do to help me feel better. Yesterday I packed up all the wine and put it in time out. Lol

It's a start.  Take care of yourselves.

Life's a beach

Wow - I haven't posted in 5 days???? Things are fine - I hustled to get stuff done around the house so that we could come down and spend a couple of days with my mom. It's been awesome! Last night my son and his gf came over to mom's, as well as my old boss and his wife. I haven't seen Rich since February! It's hard to go from seeing someone every day to hardly seeing them at all. When he left he said "I'd rather be your friend than your boss" - I'm glad we've been able to stay friends even though we don't see each other much. He & his wife, T and I all get along wonderfully. We don't have many couple friends. It was awesome to see them both.

We are headed back home tonight. I can't wait for the 3 day weekend!!!

Oh yeah - I agree that having a tub in a house is important. Besides the fact that we actually both enjoy soaking in a bath from time to time, i figure having a tub will be good for resale. Our other bathroom has a tub - but no shower! Lol

Take care.

Random

So just some random stuff.

Bathroom is done (well, their part!). They removed the old tub & walls surrounding it and replaced that with the new step in shower. Since we were getting new shower fixtures, we went ahead and got a new faucet for the sink so it will match. We also replaced the floor since the old one was beige/ tan and went with nothing in the bathroom. They also repainted: walls, ceiling, and trim.

Now, my part! We need to rehang pictures and stuff (obviously), but I am also going to replace the knobs and hinges on the vanity as well as repainting it. That way the whole bathroom will have gotten a refresh. The floor is vinyl. Tile would have been lovely but a lot more expensive. We live in a nice neighborhood, but the houses are generally older and more modest, so we didn't want to sink a bunch of money into the remodel knowing we wouldn't get much of it back when we go to sell in a few years. I feel like what we spent (just under $5K) was reasonable - we will enjoy the bathroom and the update will help us sell the house when it comes time.

My mood is picking up a bit. Elle (at the gym) loaned me a 35 pound kettlebell - I haven't been able to find one anywhere. That will really boost my home workouts!

Other than that, same old stuff. Oh! I read a wonderful book yesterday: "The Whole Town's Talking" by Fannie Flagg. Highly recommend! It was the perfect feel good book for some much needed escapism.

Take care.

Things are different, so am I.

I realized today that my life is very different than it was back in March - I've made some pretty fundamental changes. One obvious one is my daily routine. I used to work out at lunch or after work - with no gym and no commute I have reverted to a previous (preferred) pattern and generally work out first thing in the morning. I walk my dogs nearly every day.

I'd say we are eating at home about the same amount - we didn't used to eat out very often either. I feel like I cook more, but it may be that I am simply prepping less in advance since I am at home. Tim's commute is shorter as well and he is helping around the house more.

My mindset has changed as well.  I'd been unhappy with my commute (although I didn't realize how much!) but hadn't really said anything. A couple of weeks ago I talked to my boss and basically told her I had no interest in ever going back to commuting as frequently as I used to. I think our whole organization has had a mindset shift in this regard, and I don't foresee going in to the office less frequently will be an issue.

My marriage is better. MUCH better. It wasn't "bad" before, but we were both busy with demanding jobs and long commutes and just weren't communicating effectively. Being in the same house for 5 weeks will rip that scab off, pour on the lemon juice, and then grind some salt into it for good measure. Which is to say it wasn't easy - and sometimes it was downright painful, but we held fast to the love we felt and worked our way through to more open and honest communication. Our relationship is the best its ever been and we are committed to putting in the work needed to keep it that way.

I find myself more generous, and more willing to extend grace (for the most part). I also find myself feeling far more protective of my family and immediate circle. I am more willing to let go of unintentional slights and misunderstandings, but more willing to cut you out of my life for toxic behavior.

This pandemic has been a crucible. Things like speaking up for what I wanted with my boss weren't easy, but weirdly enough I feel more willing now to take risks to get what I want and need. There are so many things outside my control - I guess I'm unwilling to voluntarily give up my power over the things I can control.

Lunchtime fail

I planned to do a kettlebell workout at lunch - I made 2/3 through before I stopped. I was outside and it was just too darn hot.

I wish I had positive news to share - just hanging in there. But I guess that's pretty good.

New shower & floor:

Nice birthday

So Sunday was T's birthday and by a happy alignment of the starts, he had the weekend off! We had a lovely time, got together with his family, and found a good balance between getting stuff done and relaxing. It's supposed to rain here all week and be really chilly for several days. Yuck.

Work continues on the bathroom and it's starting to come together! My husband cannot wait to take a shower!!!! Lol

Take care of yourselves.

Blah

World's slowest weight loss plan. Down a half pound. Gah. Consistency is the key, I hope I can find it soon!

Coming soon

They are going to start on the bathroom tomorrow!!! That makes me very happy!

Life's a beach

After a lovely Saturday with my husband, I drove down to mom's yesterday morning. T had to go back to work, but I brought along the daughter of a friend so she could enjoy some beach time and their family could get a break from each other. :-)  It was nice having a traveling companion.

I'm only staying until Wednesday - they are starting on the bath remodel later this week, plus T's birthday is Sunday and we have plans with his family.

Have a good day!

Ugh

Well I had stayed the same, but we ate out 2 nights in a row so now I'm up a pound for the week. Blech. Headed to the beach Sunday to hang with my mom for a few days.

Take care of yourselves.

So this happened

Yeah, that's the wall in our only shower. We do at least have a bath tub in the other bathroom. So we're doing a partial bath remodel.

Better, and what I wanted to post

I figured out how to revert - thank goodness! But I still can't post photos. What the actual heck blogger???

crap

I made the mistake of switching to the new version of blogger. Now it won't let me post pictures. :-(

Monday already

This weekend went by super quickly! Saturday I went to the park and worked out - which felt so amazing! Saturday afternoon I was really feeling down in the dumps. A friend came over and we talked and I rode with her to get potting soil, then I called a good friend in Alaska. It helped so much. I was exhausted and by the time we were ready for dinner I had nothing planned so we ordered pizza. We did get light cheese and double grilled chicken, so it wasn't too off plan. 

Sunday was a much better day! I shopped, dropped some stuff at church, tried out a new mask design for T (which he likes better), mowed the yard, did laundry. It was a lot but I paced myself so I didn't feel too worn out. When T got home we relaxed for a while and then made a really nice dinner: steak with sauteed mushrooms, baked potato, and wilted spinach. It was awesome.

My weight held steady over the weekend so even though I would like to be losing more quickly, I'm calling that a win on the health front. I did not feel like running this morning so I just went for a nice, brisk walk in the cool morning air.

Take care and stay safe.

New Blogger, new hope

I am trying out blogger's new format. I guess I will get used to it.

I lost another pound this week. I am finally beginning to feel some hope that I can relearn my good habits and turn this around. I kept plugging at it, but I will admit I was begin to feel pretty nervous. It was feeling overwhelming.

Things have been tough. My husband has been having a rough time - he's finally back at work, so he's feeling better. It's been emotionally exhausting. I am feeling more positive today.

Take care.

Re-opening for business

So our state is starting to gradually re open. I have mixed feelings, but T is going back to work next week. And he will be the manager of the restaurant here in town!!! So his commute goes from 30 minutes to 5. Especially since he does have to go back some evenings, this opens up a whole new world of his being able to go back to band, maybe rapier practice, the gym, and more time at home.

I am so happy for him - and me! :-)

No mountains

Well, the mountains are still closed. Lol. He wasn't able to stay with a friend and hotels are only open for essential workers, so he is home. It worked out well though, we've had some really heartfelt conversations and I feel like we're pulling together rather than apart in this difficult time. I love my husband so very much - he is such a good man even if he doesn't always see it. I know this is a difficult time for him - as it is for all of us. Sometimes I'm just not sure how to help.

I seem to have turned my weight gain around and have seen some slightly lower numbers. Fingers crossed for me! I'll let you know when I log my weight on Friday.

In other news I am doing the world's longest couch to 5k, because I'll opt to just walk for a week, or I'll miss a run and repeat the week. Good thing I don't have an actual race date! Lol. But I am determined to finish the darn thing!!

Take care.

Home again, home again

We are back home from the beach. It's good to go, but it's good to come home. My bed here is more comfortable :-) I think the change of scenery did us both good and T is looking forward to a couple of days in the mountains.

It sounds like he may be headed back to work soon and I am grateful. This has been TOUGH for him and he has been using food for emotional support, and a couple of evening drinks to relax. My husband doesn't drink regularly - and when he's working he can't on work days. Neither of these are good habits. Luckily he had a doctors appointment today. His knee is tendinitis (he was worried he might need surgery). It isn't anything serious, and his doctor gave him some stretches and chided him for the weight he has put on. I hope it is the nudge he needs. I don't want to harp on him, but I'm concerned. I assured him I would help support him however he asks.

Take care of yourselves!

Recharging

I took tomorrow off work and plan to help mom paint her bathroom. The weather has just gotten better every day, and I've walked on the beach every day but one. I think when we get back home T is going to head up to the mountains and stay with a friend for a couple of days. That is his "recharge" place. We are obviously being very careful, but are trying at this point to balance mental and physical health. NC has reopened somewhat, so there is a bit more flexibility - we are trying hard not to abuse that additional freedom.

Take care.

No shoes, no shirt, (no scale), no problem

Good morning from the beach! Despite a dead car battery (which thankfully happened in town Friday before we left), we arrived safely at our destination Saturday afternoon. It's been a pretty good visit. I am working, but it's so nice to have a change of pace. Not sure it's helping my husband as much as it's helping me, but I do think it's helping.

It was so nice to be down here for Mother's Day. I am so grateful. Other than that, it's basically the same old same old. I am not weighing since I don't have a scale down here, but I can tell you my eating is 1000% better than it was at home. There is an open air produce stand near my mom's house as well as a seafood market. So yummy, fresh & healthy food! Plus some special treats in moderation.

Paula asked whether or not the nutritionist is worth it - I think that depends on you & the nutritionist you see. I firmly believe you can learn something from everyone! It's mainly the extra accountability for me, but having someone review my food log is always helpful. I may know a lot about nutrition, but having someone experienced say "I've seen people have success when they try X" is good - they may see things you don't just because you're too close to it. Hope that makes sense.

Take care of yourselves!

This is hard

We are having a very difficult time. My husband is really depressed. Being a fairly extreme extrovert, sheltering in place is so hard for him. Add being furloughed and he feels he has nothing important going on in his life. I've tried to push him to do stuff here, but I'm afraid it's come across as nagging. We're both stressed. The up side is we are leaving tomorrow to go to my mom's. The state is lifting some restrictions, and we've been super careful over the last 2 weeks so we could go stay at her house and be fairly confident we aren't going to expose her to covid. I'm hoping a change of scenery and pace will help us both mentally.

My weight is up 0.2 pounds this week, which frankly I consider a major victory. I did go back to Lori (nutritionist) Wednesday evening. She said a lot of patients are coming in with 20 pounds weight gains. I stopped mine at 11. It may not fall back off, but I'm hoping that extra boost of accountability will help me. Look if I have to pay $75 a month to have someone look over my food diary, I'm willing to if it helps. My health is worth it.

You guys take care.

Back to what works

For quite some time I was visiting a nutritionist every 2 weeks. After a time it felt silly - do I really need that extra accountability? Right now the answer is yes. She is still open and I have an appointment for Wednesday. I also signed up for Rich Froning's daily workout. I've asked my husband for support.  As Barney Fife would say, I need to "nip it in the bud."

Take care - do what you need to do to take the best care possible of you & yours.

Big virtual hugs.

Fail fast

This has been a super rough week emotionally. I have made poor choices, and have felt a tremendous amount of shame and self loathing over those choices. That is a terrible place to be. Instead to hiding those feelings, I have said them out loud. I have started fresh every day even if the day before was a shit show. I feel like a plane that's been on a trajectory toward the ground. The last 3 days I've begun to pull out of the dive. I can't say I've been wildly successful, but each day has seen some improvement. Right now that may be my definition of "wildly successful."

There is a difference between giving something time to work versus realizing it isn't working and doing something different. I tried to start tracking on SparkPeople and it felt like punishment. Instead of tracking half a day & giving up every day (or just plain giving up), I'm going back to my paper tracking. Right now I need the accountability - even if all I do is write down everything I eat. That will help me take a moment between the desire & the act of shoving something in my mouth.

Last night T wanted a milkshake and Susie and I rode in the car with him. I was afraid that if I were home alone I would binge while he was gone. Secret eating/ drinking - those are really scary behaviors. It's been a long time since I felt the need to eat or drink in secret. If that means I can't be in the house alone right now, then so be it.

Do what you need to do to take care of yourselves.

It is what it is

The good news is my husband is feeling better. But the doctor told him to stay home another week anyway and he ended up getting furloughed. So now we have to figure out benefits etc. What a mess. He is really depressed about it and we are both struggling emotionally. Well, it is what it is. All we can do is move forward, be grateful we live in a state where the governor has a lick of sense, and hope for the best.

Take care of yourselves.

Gah

Weight is up, husband is stuck home because he has a low grade fever (maybe flu, almost certainly nothing else). He isn't getting paid. Will he get to go back to work? My pay was cut, his pay was cut. This sucks, I'm stressed. Like everyone else.

Good grief!

I didn't mean to fall off the side of the planet! My birthday was fine. T is at home for 14 days of self isolation. We don't know if he will be furloughed or just not paid and get to go back or what. So that's pretty stressful. My work is very busy and of course focus is a challenge. Some days are good others are tougher - just like everyone else I suppose.

Anyway, that's all I got. Headed out for a walk.

Take care.

Random observations

I really miss my gym. It's been years since I've run outdoors, but I started a C25K program because I need some challenging cardio. I'm on week 3. I'd forgotten how much more difficult cardio feels when you are dealing with weather and hills and pavement. OTOH I am enjoying it in a masochistic way. I always listen to music at the gym. When I run I either count or sing jodies. No music, just the quiet and me, singing or counting (very quietly). I am enjoying the quiet a lot more - sometimes I turn on Pandora but a lot of times I'll just listen to the birds or wind while I work.

Susie isn't sure what to make of 2 walks a day. Sometimes she seems excited, sometimes not so much. Generally Jordan only goes for 1, but other days she surprises me and wants to go again. We always take her stroller so she doesn't get too tired out.

I've started a new (very large) project at work which includes a systems architect. Let's just say that hasn't gotten off to a smooth start.  T is adjusting to a new routine at work. His business is way down, but his store remains open while a lot in the chain have temporarily closed. So that's a mixed blessing. We've both taken pay cuts, but we're still working when so many are not.

Some days my eating is on point and some days not so much, but it does seem to be smoothing out some. My birthday is Sunday and I ordered myself a couple of books, some nice bath wash, flowerdy keds, and Twin Peaks on Blu Ray. I'm going to try not to feel too sorry for myself - birthdays are a big deal in my family and normally I would be at the beach with my family. Oh well, this isn't forever.

Take care of yourselves!

I'll leave you with a picture of Susie that always makes me smile!

Better

Good morning. Yesterday was a lot better. I did my C25K run, swung my kettlebell 500 times, took the dogs for 2 walks, made dinner. It wasn't perfect - I had insomnia, and I had a snack at 2 AM as a result. That's not good, but I'm trying. Each day is a new one. So I got up at my usual time (no sleeping in and messing up my schedule), walked the dogs and did my swings. Dealt with some work issues first thing, so hopefully that will lead to less stress and better sleep tonight.

Take care.

Easter kinda stunk

I started the day off really sad, was better for a while, and ended it really sad.

Today is better.

Take care of yourselves. This is hard. That's okay that it's hard.

What does TGIF even mean???

In the days of working at home, the days do tend to run into one another. Having said that, there are several things I want to accomplish this weekend so I am looking at some time off work. Work has been very busy, so even though I am home it's not like I don't have plenty to do!!

Weight is still bouncing a bit, I am up 3 pounds on the year. Not the way I want to go, but I'm coming back down and seem to be doing a bit better. Right now I just want to focus on the day to day choices and staying within 5 pounds of where I'd gotten to. If I can do that then I'll feel like I've stayed on a fairly even keel. Maybe that's enough to expect right now.

Stay healthy!

Good morning

I'm still here. Last week was fairly rough for me mentally, but for now at least I seem to be on an upswing. The good weather is helping I'm sure. I know these posts are boring, but so is my life. Lol.

Over 2 years ago I printed a PDF off of Sparkpeople called "30 days of quick and healthy lunch ideas". I'd been struggling to come up with some different ideas - especially since we're all having to get creative based on what we have or can get. The page has been stuck on the side of my fridge ever since I printed it. Sunday I pulled it off and actually looked at the recipes (I've used some before, but it's been a while). I'm sure the page itself is probably gone, but I searched the recipe section and found the tuna and white bean recipe (it's called tuna and white bean salad), which I made using some fresh herbs from a friend's garden. It's really good and a nice change!

I remember about half the time to make myself overnight oats, and dinners have varied. I'm trying to make a snack tray for the afternoon when T gets home. He showers, then we sit on the porch and have some light appetizers to hold us over until dinner. It's been a nice ritual. I usually have a deviled egg, pickles, olives, carrots, grapes, yesterday I had a dab of guac made from a stray half an avocado (not all of that at once!). It lets him unwind, gives us a few minutes together, and I try to make it somewhat healthy.

Tonight I'm doing oven fried chicken with boneless skinless thighs, rice a roni (Don't judge me!), and roasted okra.

I'm not helping with lunch at church on Sunday, but T is making the dessert (a sort of a tiramisu trifle) and I am making fresh yeast rolls. Unfortunately it's supposed to rain, so I don't know what sort of turnout we'll get. :-(

Hope you have a good day - stay healthy.

Getting stuff done

I organized a small area in our barn over the weekend. It's open-ish to the outside, so it was pretty full of dust, pollen, etc. Anyway, I have a pile of stuff to go to Goodwill when they reopen. Other than that, pretty much same old same old. I did go to the grocery for a few things but tried to be very careful, which is hard. other than that I'm just at my house.

Take care.

Could be better, could be worse

Today there were lay offs at work. While I am still employed, a dear friend of 20+ years is not. Two people on our team were let go. My husband's scheduled vacations are cancelled for ??? long. Times are really bad in a way that I can't really wrap my mind around. So I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and getting through. 

Thankfully we are the types to have an emergency fund and live beneath our means. Our goal is to get to the point that we are able to live off only 1 income. We aren't there yet, but that's what we've been working toward for a time. Now that T has taken a 25% pay cut, we are thankful for our lifestyle!

Take care of yourselves!

The show must go on

While I am very grateful and thankful that I am able to work from home, but I admit it can be difficult to focus. I mean, there are always distractions, but add the current situation and yeah, focus in on the day to day minutiae of work can feel difficult.

I am trying to create structure in my day: AM dog walk then settle in to work, take a break at lunch and turn off the computer, then in the evening a walk to workout post work to signal that part of the day is done. That part is working pretty well - it's the staying focused that feels like a challenge! My son has been deemed essential by the Army Corps of Engineers (their boat yard supports some military and coast guard vessels), my husband has been deemed essential (restaurant manager), and I have a mom that's older. Thankfully my family members are all taking this seriously and being careful.

We are all powerless in the face of this - there is only so much any of us can do. It's hard to shut off that part of your mind and worry about setting up a Sharepoint site. :-) Hang tough, one day at a time, blah blah blah. Thanks for reading my little corner of the internet. It helps me just typing it all out.

Big virtual hugs.

30 days to break a habit

I read the other day that it takes 30 days to break a habit. Also, my birthday is in April (no beach trip this year). So I decided that for my birthday I am going to give myself the gift of breaking my evening snacking habit!!  I will be at home - I can make a nice meal and even a little something if I want a bite of something sweet after. But after that I am going to pretend the kitchen is CLOSED! Calorie free beverages only after dinner is over!

Congrats Paula for hanging tough in spite of a longer work day!! That's awesome!

You guys take care of yourselves.

Stress eating

Yeah, it's happening. I'm struggling. Doing some things well - really the day is going well. It's post dinner stress eating that is tough. I've asked my husband to help. Bringing ice cream and chocolate bars into the house isn't the way to do it. OTOH, stress baking probably isn't it either.

OTOH, trying to give myself a little grace.

Don't save it for special

Earlier this week I sent out some of the special cards that a friend had sent. I wanted some people to know they are valued.

Today I took a few minutes to clean up my work area. I wanted it to feel more organized.

I am trying to find my new normal. I am working out first thing in the morning. That's a big change for me, but (like everyone) I am trying to figure out what schedule will work for me while I am at home.

Today is a good day, I 'm feeling positive about my little corner of the world.

Take care.

Thought of the day

I'm struggling, we all are. I started a couch to 5K this morning and ate a healthy breakfast. I'm doing what I'm able to self care. My husband works in food service, he is stressed and scared. I am scared for my family, and myself to a lesser extent. My son is still having to work, my mom is staying at home.  It's hard.

That ended badly

Sometimes my husband is my greatest supporter. Other times he's my greatest enabler. Let's just say last night didn't end well and move on, shall we? After all, today is another day. :-)

Take care.

Plenty of resources

Hi there. How are you? If you are anything like me "mixed bag" is a fair answer. Some days I'm doing pretty well, other days not so much. There has been some binge eating, but I'm getting that pulled back. Right now I'm about to write out a workout to do while I'm stuck here at home. I miss the camaraderie of the gym, but right now staying away from other humans is the healthier alternative.

What else? A lot of cooking, doing yard work, taking my furry co workers for a daily walk. Trying to keep up on the news, but not too much. Trying not to worry about the things I can't control. T is still going in to work on his regular schedule. looks like we will cancel out May trip to Alaska.

In the meantime, there are concerts, free workouts, Patrick Stewart reading Shakespeare every day - all kinds of things to inspire you and help you during this. Sometimes they help, sometimes you just want to binge eat a box of spicy crab poppers that snuck into the freezer at some point.

Take care.

Stormy weather

Anticipating something bad isn't fun. At first this kinda reminded me of waiting for Hurricane Iniki - trapped on an island with nowhere to go. But that isn't quite it - we were about as far inland as you can get on Oahu, on high ground, in barracks built in 1903 with 18" concrete walls designed to withstand shelling. We all knew we would be fine.

Then I remembered something I hadn't thought about in years - waiting for an especially bad storm in west Texas. My roommate and I were sitting out on the balcony watching a sick green sky, just waiting for the proverbial sh^% to hit the fan. It was tornado weather and those are no joke. It's that sense of being utterly helpless in the face of mother nature. You can do some preparing, you may have some advance notice, but moments like that leave you feeling like a speck in the universe. We were (obviously) fine, but it feels a bit like that now.

Not every minute - a lot of this has felt strangely relaxing - being forced to slow down, being given the gift of time. But watching the sky and knowing a storm is coming and there are no guarantees for any of us.

My special gym is still open

I think I may go to the gym tonight. It's a huge space and generally maybe a half dozen people there. My plan is to go, wipe down the handles, work out, wipe down the handles, leave, and wash my hands.

Am I crazy?

Stress shopping

I'm pretty nervous. I haven't bought 6 months worth of toilet tissue, although I might have done some impulse buying of shoes and liquor. Don't judge me. In the meantime, trying to figure out what I want to do for fitness while the gyms are closed.

Take care!

Up in the air

We haven't gotten the "work from home" from on high even though we all do periodically and can. Luckily we have a couple week's worth of food - we generally do. My gyms aren't closed (yet), but I've downloaded a couch to 5K program and am thankful its warm enough to get outside. I also have a variety of kettlebells and a TRX at home.

Take care of yourself.

Oh Friday

Happy Friday. What a week. People are stealing the TP from my husband's restaurant so we made a trek out Wednesday in an effort to find some. INSANE.

Below are a couple of (unappetizing) photos, but they make a point. Sometimes what you want is a certain flavor profile, and you can graft it onto something else and make a new, yummy thing. I diced up boiled egg and added: diced turkey pepperoni, olives. sun dried tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. I toasted it on a slice of Ezekiel bread and boom! Breakfast pizza toast! It was pretty good and satisfied a craving.

I'm working at home today so I can head to urgent care. I think my seasonal allergies may have morphed into a sinus infection. Ugh.

Have a good weekend!

Be the tortoise

Consistency beats perfection. Two years, 76 pounds. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm a lot farther down the path.

Today's weight 145.8.

Take care.

Doing okay

Is it just me or does time change seems extra hard this year?! I've had a hard time getting up the past couple of days. Instead of going to the gym this morning, I opted to take the dogs for an early morning walk. They went back to bed after that - I wish I could have!!

It's going pretty well - I don't have any answers about cloning myself to get everything done, but at least T and I are talking so I'm not just stewing in silence. :-) LOL

So I took a walk today and I'm going to the kettlebell gym this evening. I've moved a lot during the day. I've done some physical therapy exercises for my shoulder (I back slid A LOT on those!! I have some lost ground to make up there). Food is good.

I've worked at home today so that's given me a little bit of room to recharge.

Weight today: 145.9.

Take care.

One or the other

I have come to a conclusion: with my current work schedule and commute I have enough time to take care of my house or myself. Since I like a tidy house I have to figure out a solution.

Things are okay. I just want more free time!

Work the plan

I need to knock on some wood, things are going so well!  T and I were planning to go away for a day event tomorrow - I know he is really excited about it. I am not. I was out of town last weekend, I am out of town next weekend, and I am cooking at church Sunday. So I was just feeling very anxious about not having some down time. I was able to ask if he'd mind if I stayed home - we don't get a lot of time together and this would have been a day together. OTOH, I would have felt anxious all weekend. He understood and we came up with a plan so we have some stuff together Sunday but we each get what we need Saturday. Relationship communication victory!

It's been a hectic week but I was able to incorporate some of Elle's suggestions. I was able to drop the 3 pounds I picked up last week! I gained 4.3 pounds for the month of February and I'm hoping that March is much better. I'm off to a solid start!

Take care and have a good weekend!

Try again

So, again this week my husband has agreed to prepare a simple meal for when I get home from the gym: stuffed flounder (moosh a thawed store bought crab cake between tilapia fillets), cauli tots, and salad. There is a plan B in the fridge in case its needed. :-)

Today is a double gym day so I packed a protein shake for after I lift this evening. I am doing HIIT at lunch.

Today's food:

AM: coffee with 1/2 1/2 and prunes
Breakfast: chickpea and tofu salad in an extreme wellness wrap, roasted chicken thigh.
Snack: 1/2 c greek yogurt with 70 g blueberries
Lunch: spicy thai soup
Snack: boiled egg, baby carrots, cherry tomatoes
Dinner: we'll see! Lol

Have a good day!

Starting the day off right

After I got T up & out and the dogs fed, I went to the gym and then voted on the way home. So yay me!

My trainer wrote me up some suggestions, which I've already mentioned: additional cardio day, mixing it up, go heavy at the gym, protein shake added for workout days.

Today's food:

AM usual coffee & prunes
Breakfast: 1/2 mini bagel with cream cheese pre workout, omelet with asparagus and mushrooms post.

AM snack 1/2 c greek yogurt & 70 grams mango

Lunch: spicy thai soup with veggies, chicken, and shiritaki noodles

afternoon snack: boiled egg

Dinner: pot roast & roasted root vegetables

Sunday I made a big pot of chili in the crock pot, which we had last night. Lots of leftovers. Tonight is a big pot roast we'll have a couple of nights. Tomorrow I am making a big pot of ground beef veggie soup. So 3 large meals with a lot of leftovers. No excuses! :-)

Take care.

Prepared

Happy Monday (ha ha).

I took Friday off for a quick trip to the beach to celebrate my son's birthday. It was fast but nice. Yesterday was a whirlwind of shopping, laundry, and food prep. Thursday night we had a SITUATION at the house - I got home from the gym (starving) at 7 PM and the husband who had promised to cook dinner was on the sofa watching TV. Chicken was nowhere near done and sweet potatoes were so overdone as to be inedible. I didn't lose my cool, but I left and got take out. So yeah, let's just say that this week all meals are being prepared or at least prepped by me in advance and there will be an emergency back up available in case of failure.

I had gotten down to 145. Today's weight is 149. The journey to regain lost ground begins today, with a single bite. Lol.

Take care.

Hello DOMS, my old friend

Oh yes, I am sore from yesterday's workout. It's been a while. :-)

Also, a good article on cultivating healthy habits I read yesterday. Some great tips!

Have a good day.

Tuesday

Chatted briefly with Elle - she & Brad are going to write out some details & suggestions for me. They are awesome. :-)  I did a good workout today and did some heavy lifting - some really good bench press. It felt terrific!

I wrote down last week in a book so I could give it to Elle, but I do (sometimes) track using SparkPeople, which will track my macros. So yeah, I will probably do that next week so I can see where they are.

I'm just glad to have some ideas for changing things up.

Take care.

Some possible changes

Good morning and happy Monday (Lol).

Meeting with Elle went well - she took my book home to review it with Brad (her husband, co owner and also a trainer), but things she tossed off the top of her head:

• At least 1 day lift heavier
• When I do weights at home, do snatches and not just my high volume swing workouts
• Add in an extra session or two of cardio (currently I do 3 sessions)
• Mix up my cardio more - add in the rowing machine
• Add protein - up my calories a bit

I like all of those ideas - any of them is easily doable. And yes Vickie, I agree about the macros. I will admit I don't really want to religiously count my macros, but I'm willing to build my food plan with them more in mind. At this point I'm willing to try everything she said.

To that end, today's session on the elliptical was HIIT, 23 minutes totoal, and I did a couple of sessions of going backward rather than forward. A small change but one Elle specifically mentioned since it works the muscles in a slightly different way. Anyway, wish me luck.

Take care and have a good week!

Yep, stuck

I am glad I am meeting with Elle tomorrow - my weight seems to be well and truly stuck. And I get HUNGRY when I go below 1600 or so, and I am not going to starve myself. I need to change the equation in a way other than "eat less".

It snowed here - roads are basically okay, just really pretty. AND COLD!!! :-)

Have a good weekend.

Snow!

It's supposed to start snowing this afternoon! I am at home again today for an appointment, and I'm glad since it is supposed to start snowing mid afternoon.

The house next door to us sold to an investor and is being fixed up. We are glad - the gentleman that lived there had reached a point where he couldn't take care of it (or himself we're pretty sure), so I see it as a win that he hopefully has better care and it will certainly help our property value. So yay!

My weight seems pretty well stuck between 145--147, so I am hoping I can get some good feedback from Elle.

Food so far today:
AM usual coffee & prunes (100)
Breakfast: grits with 1/2 T butter and a piece of sauteed tilapia (295)
Snack: muscle milk light (100)
Lunch: chickpea salad with extra vegetables and 1/4 c of quinoa (350)

Afternoon snack will be a boiled egg. Dinner tonight is a chicken soup recipe with sweet potato that sounds yummy.

Take care!

Still writing

Boy has the morning flown by.

I got up and went to the gym after I got T off to work. He still isn't feeling great, but a little better. Now my mom is sick as well. There's a lot of crap going around. I'm okay (knock on wood.)

I ate 3 oz of the corned beef last night, maybe 1/4 of the thousand Island and opted for baked tomatoes instead of a salad. I am working at home today so things are a bit different:

AM: 2 cups coffee with 2 T half and half, 2 prunes - 100 cal
breakfast: 1 egg, 1 oz turkey breakfast sausage, slice cheese on a slice of ancient grain bread - 280
lunch: Mediterranean tilapia quinoa bowl with okra - 335

snack: ??
Dinner: Shrimp and grits

Yesterday I didn't get in 10,000 steps and my calorie burn was lower - barely over what I ate according to the Fitbit. Hopefully I will be more active today. OTOH, I did HIIT at the gym yesterday so my calorie burn is questionable.

Take care!

Writing down all the things

Good morning. I'm on day 4 of writing down all the things. No lie, it's a bit of a hassle. Also, there is an incentive to not mindlessly nosh or take a bite if you have to write it down! And there's no point in NOT writing it down, because if I'm not honest I can't get good feedback.So yes, I have been dutifully logging - the good and not so good.

I got a lot of good quality sleep over the weekend which was a really nice change. I actually slept in a couple of mornings! I also spent A LOT of time trying to get caught up on housework. I finally put away the Christmas stuff that has been stacked on the back porch for forever. Yesterday was the warmest day of the weekend so I worked on the porch and took the dogs for a walk. I have to admit by the end of the weekend I was sick of cleaning and I just wanted to do something fun. T is sick - not the flu but a virus with very flu-like symptoms, so that stinks.

Also, I am hungry.

Here is food today:

AM: 2 cups coffee with 2 T half and half, 2 prunes - 100 cal
snack: 2/3 c greek yogurt, 70 g frozen mixed berries - 170
lunch: shrimp quinoa bowl - 325
dove dark chocolate (1) - 31
snack: 4 T hummus, baby carrots - 100
2 turkey sausage snack sticks - 90

That puts me at 1116 so far for the day.

Dinner:
extreme wellness wrap - 50
provolone - 80 per slice
corned beef - 45 per oz
thousand island 70 for half of what I made up
saurkraut
salad & dressing (70)

Not sure of how much of these things I will eat. The way I feel now the answer would be all of them and my husband's arm. LOL  I will report back.

Take care.

The beginnings of a plan

Okie dokie, took my measurements and had a LONG chat with Elle at the kettlebell gym. For the next week I am tracking all the things - exercise, food, fitbit steps etc. I am going to show my log to her next week and we are going to develop a plan. We will see how that goes. I could totally sign up for Nerd Fitness (and I might eventually), but right now I plan on taking advantage of the expertise I have already available.

If anyone is interested in me posting that log, let me know!

Next steps?

The last 10-ish pounds are feeling H-A-R-D, and I'm feeling stuck.  I've talked about counting macros, but I keep not doing it. I feel like I need help! I am seriously considering signing up for some one on one coaching through Nerd Fitness. While not cheap, I can afford it and I think it might give me some new direction, not to mention motivation and accountability - and a fresh perspective!

Hope you have a nice Valentine's Day (if that's something you celebrate), and a great weekend!

Crazy week

Sorry about disappearing - it's been a hectic week. I am adjusting to the new work area & office, although not happily. I've been feeling kinda tired - things aren't getting caught up as quickly around the house as I had hoped, but that's okay. Weirdly enough we have Monday off - I'm not going to complain!! Maybe I can catch up this weekend.

Take care.

Good weekend

Hope you had a nice weekend. I did, just not long enough! I did get darts put in my work pants - they are still a little loose, but the waist fits better in them now. they will do until capri season. :-)

Weather here is crazy. Tornadoes Thursday, snow Friday. Nuts.

I have had a slight cold - not terrible but enough that I don't feel like doing much. Hopefully I will get it kicked to the curb soon.

Have a good week!

The wrong side of the bounce

So last Thursday saw a large overnight drop in the scale, the weekend saw a large increase (and there wasn't any rhyme or reason), then a gradual slide until this morning's mysterious increase. UGH. My plan is to review the results of my hydrostatic testing with my trainer and formulate a plan to help tackle the last 5-ish pounds of fat.Hopefully I won't go insane.

Have a great weekend!

Ugh

The scale is doing that annoying bouncing thing. Ugh.

Turn the page

Yesterday was my first day in my new office. I hate it. My old office was so nice. The area around the building was so nice - woods behind so we saw deer, turkey, groundhogs, etc. It was at the end of a pretty quiet industrial park, which doesn't sounds nice but it really was. My office was big and I had 2 windows. Everyone had windows! We enjoyed getting out and walking when the weather was good.

The new office is tiny and of course there are no windows in the space at all. The cubes are worse. It's so depressing. And the area is highly developed so walking means in a busy parking lot.

And I loved the old place not just because it was so nice, but because my office was next to my boss, and we actually had adjoining offices. It made for easy conversation. At first I found him a little intimidating, but gradually we developed a terrific rapport and had an awesome working relationship. That office was the nicest work space I've ever had, and the fact that I had one of the nicest offices in the building (even though they were all pretty nice) was a symbol of the value my boss place in me and the work I did on the team.

Take care.