What's going on

I have been teary, angry, and most of all - stressed this weekend.  What is going on?

I'm not sure.  So forgive my brain dump while I think about it.

Things that are making me nutso right now:

• Work is crazy
• I resent that I work as hard as the full time people - but without any of the perks
• I have a lot to do before the holidays
• I haven't felt like my friends are being very supportive*
• I don't feel like my husband has been very supportive - but he IS trying, and that counts
• I feel overwhelmed
• I don't have my old comforts to help me through (you know, the caloric kind)

*I am thinking specifically of 2 good friends.  One has been very busy with training and classes (she has her own business).  It's no reflection on her - it's just timing.  The other one....  Well, I like her very much, but here's the thing:  she is manic depressive.  When she's depressed she's needy, and when she's manic she's so spazzy that you literally cannot get in a word edge-wise while she tells you ALL KINDS of random stuff. She is a good friend, but right now I'm finding her tough to handle.

Exercise is fine.  Food is fine.  My emotions ... not to fine.

Okay, I am spending time today with another good friend.  I am looking forward to it. 

Be good to yourself. :-)

Friday update

Even though I weigh most days, I count Friday as my 'official' weigh in day.  I didn't weigh last Friday since we were out of town, but I am down 4 pounds since the Friday before last. So doing pretty good! :-)

I'm giving some thought to fitness stuff I'd like to noodle with.  I'm thinking that in the new year, I may alternate months of weight training with trying other things - a month of personal training, a month at the CrossFit gym, personal training, Bikram yoga, etc etc.

I also found a good kettlebell trainer in Raleigh - I may email and see if I can go over for a couple of sessions on some weekends.  I'd like to get my form check by a serious kettlebell instructor.

I have found a good groove with food.  I'm thinking my goal may be to change up my breakfast & lunch every 3 weeks.  That way I enjoy them without getting overly bored.  OTOH, too much variety isn't a good idea either.  We'll see.

Anyway, that's what I'm thinking.  Take care & have a good weekend!

A case of the sads

I came home feeling mildly sad.  I am taking over some responsibilities from a lady that will be leaving in mid February (her contract will be up).  Anyway, eh.  After the holidays I think I will put some feelers out for whats available around here.  So, eh.

Anyway, lots of stuff to do this weekend.  Feeling tired.  Need to make the grocery list and then go to the gym for swimming.

That's all I got tonight.

Have a good evening!

Just 'eh'

So, I found out Monday that I didn't get the job.  There were folks with more experience.  I didn't get any negative feedback and I was asked to apply again if they convert any more temp positions to perm.  So there's that.  Kinda bummed.  I hate contracting, even though the pay is good and the company evens offers some 401k matching and benefits. 

And the past two days at work have been INSANE.  A project sorta blew up while I was gone, so I came back to that.  Then yesterday I spent the day setting up accounts in the mainframe for a massive project that just installed.

By the end of today I was beginning to feel caught up.

Last night I went to the gym to take a spin class with my fave instructor, but I got the time wrong and missed the class.  Are you sensing a theme here????

Okay, good stuff!

Christmas cards are mailed.  All gifts are nearly bought and I am finishing my homemade gifts this weekend so I can get those suckers in the mail!

Eating is good and I am navigating the holiday food landmines with little to no issues.

While the scale has bounced some, the overall trend continues down and I've already lost around 2.5 pounds this month.  Woo hoo!  I plan to keep THAT focus!

Tonight I am lifting weights, which I LOVE!

We had a wonderful visit with my great aunt.  She's still doing well, but definitely beginning to slow down quite a bit.  The sense that our time is running out was a lot stronger this trip.  She's 95 and in good health, but at that age you never know.  My grandmother (her sister) was in great health, right up until she quit eating and died.  So I think we may plan a trip back to rent a cabin in the spring rather than going up to New England.

Have a good rest of the week!

Alive

Hello, I'm back from our trip.

Work has been brutal the last couple of days.  I am exhausted.

More later.

New Eats

I've been eating the same salad made with grilled chicken thighs and homemade ranch for work lunches for AGES (a year or more).  And basically alternating between different types of meatloaf and burgers with vegetables for breakfast for months.

Since I didn't need to do any food prep for my husband this weekend, I put a bit more time and effort into planning my meals so I could have something different.

Breakfast is some baked salmon with roasted tomatoes and zucchini.  For lunch I bought a rotisserie chicken.  I added chopped vegetables, 2 tablespoons of homemade vinaigrette dressing, 1 tablespoon of feta, and 1 tablespoon of kalamata olives.

I'm looking forward to getting a bit more creative with my food!

I am headed to Georgia tomorrow.  We will be in a cabin by a lake until Sunday.  Have a lovely rest of the week, but don't expect to hear from me until after we get back and unpacked! :-)

Plans for December

Good morning and happy Sunday!

I am still letting that situation at work bother me.  I know I am giving it too much power, but I can't seem to let it go.  Don't you hate that?

This month I have lost 4 pounds.  That's not super impressive, but in a month when a lot of folks gain weight, it's not too bad either.  My goal was 5 pounds, so not too far off the mark.

My goal  of  tracking my food and exercise on Sparkpeople is going well.  Exercise has become an integral part of my life again. I'm exercising an average of 5 days a week.  So, the fundamentals are there for consistent, long term loss, not to mention increased fitness!

I have a new goal for the month of December and it's a simple one - NO beer.  I did that for October, and it went well.  November I let some creep back in.  And not to enjoy - in response to stress.  NOT GOOD!

This is a great time of year, but it's also a stressful one.  And I'm also still dealing with the uncertainty of work.  It would be easy to justify saying "Oh, be kind to yourself.  Indulge a little."  Uh, no. 

Deal with stresses head on, don't try to escape them.  Food will postpone stress, exercise is one way to alleviate it.  Even a good book or funny movie or show is preferable if you feel the need to "escape" the stress.  And you may find laughter robs it of some of its power.

Do take care of yourself - in a smart way.

Have a good day!

Good morning

Just a quick one before I head to spin class at the Y.

Down 1.6 pounds this morning. 

I had a stressful situation at work yesterday and I sent my boss a note about it.  I know we'll be talking about it Monday.  I feel like I did the right thing, but .. ugh.  Oh well.

This weekend is mostly about shopping, food prep, and getting stuff together for our trip to Georgia later in the week.  We will be down there several days, and I plan to take my sewing machine.  I am making some appliqued shopping bags as gifts, sort of like this:

Anyway, I hope you had a good day, good weekend.

Take care of yourself! :-)

Friday

I weighed the same today that I did yesterday morning.  Sadly, that's 2 pounds higher than last Friday. :-(

However, I had a tough day at work - but stuck to my packed food.  I came home tired, electing for a nap.  Followed by a healthy, homemade meal.

I didn't want to go to the gym - but I went and did an interval workout on the elliptical anyway.

It's all about making good choices and doing what will keep you moving forward - toward your goals.

Yes, be smart and rest when you need to.  But be smart and push when you need to.  You deserve your best effort.

A reminder for me

You cannot control other people's behavior.  You CAN control your responses.

Don't give them the power over your food choices.  Actually, don't use their behavior as a justification for making poor choices.

They aren't worth that and you deserve better.

Love,
Me

Not even the holiday and the scale is UP 2 pounds form last Friday.  Le sigh.

Off to do a 5K.  I will make good choices today.  And tomorrow.

And coming Monday, a new challenge to myself for December!

Enjoy your day!  And if you are in US, enjoy your Thanksgiving! :-)

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope you all had a good day.

I went to work.  Then I came home, went to the gym, and had supper.

Not sure about tomorrow's workout, the gym is closed so it depends on the weather.

If I don't post, have a safe and wonderful holiday!

Excellent workout

Just a quick post to say that I had an awesome workout at the gym!  I am really getting my strength back quickly.

I am doing one armed rows with 30 pounds, and bench pressing 60.  Not great, but a lot better than when I started!

Have a good evening!

Taken from Plum Petals - an excellent reminder!!

Doing okay, and workout plans

Thanks for the words Gwen!

Family isn't the same for everyone.  My husband was raised by his grandparents and actually didn't talk to his mom for over a decade. The reality is that my husband (and by extension, my mom and I) are the only people that ever do anything for her.  I think it galls her because hub was her least favorite child, and the one that got it the worst as a kid.

Anyway, she decided to drop it (thankfully).  Hub is goin gup to see his brother and family, plus a cousin and some childhood friends.  I am VERY happy for him and I hope he has a wonderful time.  We generally spend holidays together, but I know this will be nice for him - he hasn't been up to Maryland since before we moved to Florida.

I cooked the pumpkin today (for pie).  Our meal is going to be pretty easy - we're actually cooking a chicken since it's just 4 of us!

Anyway, yesterday I walked on the indoor track.  Today I lifted weights and swam laps for 30 minutes.  The pool is going to be closed next week.  My plan is to do spin class Monday & Wednesday, lift weights, Tuesday, Thursday, & Sunday.  Friday & Saturday are tbd, I may take a day off.

The week after, I plan to do water aerobics Monday and then take the remainder of the week off.  I've been feel sore & raggedy.  I've been exercising pretty hard, so I'm taking a week.  I'll walk and I may take a kettlebell to Georgia, but I plan to take it easy.

Speaking of which, I will be going to Georgia that week.  I have no idea whether we will have internet, so don't expect to hear from me then!

Anyway, been a good day.  I've had some down time while still doing my laundry & stuff to get ready for the week.  I'm working 4 days this week - just Thursday off.

Anyway, have a good evening!

Happy holidays - let the family dysfunction commence!

My husband's brother invited us (me & hub) up to their place for Thanksgiving (several hours away).  Hub is going and I am staying here.  His mom is pressuring him to come back here after work (4hours) to pick her up and take her with him - even though she wasn't invited.

I'm sorry she has a shitty relationship with her children (whom she did not raise - they were raised by their grandparents), but she always puts the blame on my husband, even though he is the only one that does anything for her.

Let's just cancel Thanksgiving cause if she is here with us (the current plan) it's gonna be a real downer.

Ugh.  Family dysfunction - it's why god invented booze.  Just kidding.  Kind of. :-) 

Good workout - busy with food prep.  Just needed to vent!

The friday report

TGIF.

I've been a bit on the tired side the past couple of days and this week has seemed long.  My workout was not stellar last night - even my trainer commented that I seemed tired.

I plan to get some good rest this weekend!

Lost 2 pounds this week.  More later.

Have a good evening!

Not the post I’d planned

This morning I had planned out a post by the well-known writer “Whiny McWhinerson”, regarding the scale.  Specifically, the complete lack of movement of said scale for the past 3 days.  This morning I found myself experiencing a certain amount of anxiety & frustration in spite of my self-talk that 3 days is NOT a plateau and there is no reason to second guess my behaviors, etc.

But you know, here’s the thing:  I got a great haircut Friday.  I love it!  Last night I went to the Y and swam laps for 30 minutes before water aerobics.  Today at work someone asked me if I was losing weight.  I feel good – good energy, good workouts, and of course the all-important good hair! Lol!  I feel like I am making improvement.

Shouldn’t those things count more than the scale?  I am tracking my food, making good choices, working out hard, getting good sleep.  I feel good about the things I am doing.  I don’t feel good about my weight.  But I guess all I can do is stay the course and ride this bit out, right?

Ugh!  I guess I am still a bit frustrated by the scale, but at the same time, very happy with the other things.

Work food craziness

Today Dewey's Moravian bakery was at work in the lobby (no, I didn't go down).  Friday we are having a team holiday meal (company buys the meat, we bring the sides).  I will have my salad and eat some of the turkey and veggies, and that's it.  Food this time of year is out of control!

Most of it isn't worth it to me and thankfully I'm feeling very motivated and determined right now, so saying no is no problem.

Today was a good day!

Alright, time to eat a little something before I head to the gym.  Last night was weights (and my legs are sore!).  Tonight is water aerobics.

Have a good evening!

What's your Thanksgiving strategy?

Do you even need a strategy?  I do.

Attempting to scale back WHAT is being served has not been successful - my son is BIG on tradition.  I can't remember if I've written about this, but he requested macaroni & cheese.  We have served that ONCE at Thanksgiving when his girlfriend visited.  It was her family tradition and we wanted her to feel at home.  When we reminded him of that his response was "Yeah, but now we've served it once so it's our tradition!"

The only thing I've managed to negotiate off the menu is my great aunt Edith's dinner rolls (the recipe is in storage).  I'm sure the next day my son will be asking for some to build his sandwiches on.  No white bread here! :-)

So, we have agreed to make reasonable amounts of the sides (I have a 20 pound turkey - leftover turkey is always good!).  I've also asked that the leftovers be taken home by someone else so they aren't left here (besides the vegetables).  Luckily most of it wouldn't tempt me anyway.

My strategy is the one I employ every year: eat a plate of food, enjoy, be done with it.

I need to make a quick run to K0hls to return a pair of shoes after dinner then go to the gym a bit early to pay for my personal training and water aerobics. Tonight is weight lifting and the elliptical.

I got a hair cut and I really like it!  I used to have stick straight hair, but after I had a baby it is now wavy when it gets shorter than shoulder length.  Weird!  Anyway, it's long enough to put in a pony tail, but short enough to wear down and look professional - perfect!

Have a good evening!

Monday of crummy weather

Today was cold and rainy.  It was a day that left me grateful I have a warm home, office, and car.  It's a day where going to a pool doesn't sound like a good time.  Too bad though.

I think we all have days when we aren't motivated.  We don't want to go to the gym, or we are tired at work and want a snack.

At those times, I hang on to my vision of how I want to look and feel, and the things I want to be able to do.  I ate an extra serving of almonds (12 extra) because I was genuinely HUNGRY today.  I had a couple of cups of herbal tea, and later had a cup of Earl Grey - I find that does a good job of staving off that snacky feeling. 

Having that very detailed, real, tangible vision of what I want for myself is like an instant "visual" reminder that does help me keep on track.

It was a good day.  I was at work nearly 10 hours and my only 'extra' consumption was 12 almonds.  Not too bad on a day when I wanted to nosh!

Have a good one!

Oh, hi

Yesterday we compromised.  I did go with hub and hang out with friends, but first we went to the gym and got some stuff ready for the day.  And came home by supper.  We ate lunch before we left, so no food was consumed outside the home.

Today I went to the farmer's market and bought pie pumpkins, then to K0hls for a few more winter clothing items for me (mittens, trouser socks, scarf, new pair of black shoes) and a set of flannel sheets for Mr. husband.

I have food prep to do today, and I will go to the gym and work out.

Mom went to the dr. yesterday.  She has compressed a disc in her back.  Not sure what all that will mean, but right now she is taking pain meds and doing okay.  Worried about that.

Thought about trying to make 2:30 spin class, but decided to just go & use the elliptical.

Have a good day!

Equilibriium

Eh, rough week.

The stress of a long trip over a short period of time, hormones, work stress (interviewed for a full time job, waiting to hear), and stress over the fact that I knew I needed to sit down and have a serious conversation with hub about sticking to the budget (he works hard and spends hard, le sigh).

I'm doing better.  It's just been a busy week where I've felt a step behind all week.

Finished the week 0.2 pounds higher than last Friday.  Given the circumstances, I'm cool with that.

Not sure what I'm doing tomorrow.  Hub wants to go hang out with friends, but honestly I feel frazzled.  Can't decide what I want to do - go anyway, or just relax at home.  I'll see how I feel tomorrow I guess.

Anyway, hanging in there.  Lifting weights is a great stress reliever!

Take care!

stress

I am feeling very stressed this week, for a number of reasons.  I went to the gym, feeling a little better.

Being honest

The trip would've been challenge enough.  But I am having the worst period I've had in 20 years.  It's bad.  And I am crazy.  Crying, ugh.  Anyway, the last couple of days I've been a mess and we won't talk about my eating.  It has been a perfect storm of stuff.

I got on the scale this morning .  I'm up 4 pounds in 4 days.  I doubt I will have all that off by Friday, which means a probable gain this week.  I am so mad at myself.

Happy Veteran's day.  I am doing some Christmas sewing (gifts).  I hope you all have a good day.

All I can do is eat well today, work out hard tonight, and move on.  I'm learning, just slowly. :-)

Have a good day.

eh

Doing ok, lost 2 pounds last week.  Just kinda blah, nothing to say.

back soon.

Well hello there

Another long day at work, thankfully not capped by a flat tire!

I missed going to the gym last night (big surprise) and I ended up eating dinner out (I finally got home at 8).  My MIL picked me up from the car place (she lives a couple miles down the road and I was 4 miles west of the town she lives in when I got the flat - much closed than home so I went there).  We went to the cafeteria and I had a chopped steak and turnip greens.

So, no exercise yesterday.  Food has been good, and I have tracked.  Tonight I am lifting weights.

I've also weighed every day.  The scale bounced down from that bounce up.

Thursday night will be busy as I need to pack, go to the gym, and I have a meeting a little later than normal at work.  Are you sensing a theme for this week???

Hub is picking me up from work (its on the way) to drive up to Pennsylvania Friday afternoon.  I am kind of looking forward to it, but at this point I'm just feeling a bit draggy.  So thankful I early voted!

Hang tough bloggy friends.  Eating healthy foods (especially plenty of vegetables) and regular exercise, along with allowing plenty of time for quality sleep is worth any effort.  It feels so much better than the alternative!

Now the day I planned

It's been 25 years since I had a flat tire, so statistically speaking, I guess I was due. Had a flat on I-40 on the way home from work. I am fine, the car is fine, the credit cards is only slightly melty. The dogs are incensed that they had to wait 3 hours for dinner.

It was a good day up to that point and I had things I wanted to write about.  But I am wiped out. Gonna go collapse now.

Tomorrow!

November Goals

I decided I want to lose 5 pounds this month, which is now 7.4 after this weekend. :-(

In any case, that is my weight loss goal.  To that end I commit to 2 behaviors: track my food every day on sparkpeople, and do intentional exercise every day.

They might be a bit difficult next weekend since we will be out of town, but I will make an effort! 

Keepin' it real

This weekend was long, stressful, and tiring.  I thought I was doing okay until I wasn't.

the scale was up 2.4 pounds this morning from Friday.  No excuses.  I made some poor choices and reacted to things with poor choices.

I'm not going to dwell on it.  It's going to be another busy week and I have a trip to Pennsylvania next weekend.  Today I have a lot of Cinderella duties, but I plan to take some breaks and get everything done before I go to the gym at 2:30.

Anything not done by then won't get done because I am going to relax this afternoon to be ready for a very long day tomorrow (I'll be at the office for 10 hours).

Have a good day!

And then I cried

How are you?

So, it's been a long week around these parts.  Work was extra busy and stressful - lots of fires to put out.  I like my job A LOT.  Honestly a lot better than my last job.  But it doesn't come without its stresses and hassles.  This week seemed to have an extra serving of them.

Added to that was the fact that my mom was out of town.  That meant a couple of things.  For one, I had to come home and get the dogs fed, get supper together, and then get to the gym.  Added steps in there I don't normally do.  Also, it meant her dogs slept in the bed with me & Jordan.  That made for lower quality sleep.  And third, my mom generally does at least half the grocery shopping.  But she wasn't here, so that meant that last night (and then again this morning), I was doing the grocery shopping.

All of that plus some other stresses led to a very grumpy me!  Which in turn led to a meltdown this morning.  I cried, and then I felt a little better.

I can't figure out how to rip CDs any more on this newer version of Media Player, which sucks.

Anyway, I am just feeling burned out.  Last night I watched exactly 1 scary movie "Fright Night" (the original with Roddy McDowell) and went to bed.

I have some weight loss goals for November, which I plan to discuss tomorrow.

For now, I'm outta here!

Survived - and a really good recipe

I successfully navigated the snacks.  There were some homemade cookies but a lot of it was store bought stuff so really, no challenge! :-)  I brought home a little bit of the avocado verde salsa (which was yummy) and the homemade ranch and some of the cherry tomatoes - nearly all the carrots & celery were gone.

Anyway, since I had some cherry tomatoes left and I needed a supplement for dinner (I am home alone with the dogs and was having leftover fish, but there were only 2 pieces of broccoli).  I threw the tomatoes on a cookie sheet and sprinkled them with s&p and oregano.  I roasted them about 15 minutes and then put a little bit of crumbled feta on top.  Oh my gosh - so good!

I decided to stay home and watch scary movies tonight instead of going to water aerobics.  It was a VERY long day at work and I haven't taken a day off from exercise in about 2 weeks.

Have a great evening!

Random acts of snacks

Yesterday I was being a whiny baby and didn't want to take care of myself.  I refused to write that poop, hence no post.

Today was a much better day.  I had a good workout at the Y - even though my trainer was sick.  I went & lifted weights and did a HIIT workout on the elliptical.

Tomorrow our team has a conference room reserved FOR 5 HOURS to bring in snacks. (The inspiration for today's post title).  I am taking veggies and another colleague is bringing fruit.  That's all I plan to touch - maybe a piece of cheese.  Friday is Subway sandwiches and cookies and chips.  I don't plan to touch ANY of that mess thankyouverymuch.  Sheesh.

At least with a 5 hour window to graze, maybe no one will pointedly ask me why I'm not eating a d&^n cupcake.

I got my flu shot today.  It's supposed to get colder day after tomorrow.  Not looking forward to it.

Have a good evening!

I am in a funk.  That is all.

Yes! And head work

Yes, the scale finally moved again.  Down 1.2 pounds. :-)  Very happy, because the past couple of nights I have had cravings, but didn't give in to non value added junk.

I think that losing weight is very different (mentally) for someone who has been overweight most (if not all) of their life v. someone who was not.  I'm not saying one experience is easier than the other.  How can I say?  I only have my experience.

Even though I have spent many years as an emotional eater, I have spent most of my life at a healthy weight.  My first experience gaining a significant amount of weight was with my pregnancy at 28.  I gained weight, and then I lost it after my son was born.  It took a bit - there was a lot going on, but by the time he was around 18 months I was back to my prepregnancy weight.

The second time I gained weight was when I was dating my husband long distance.  I was in NC and he was in Maryland.  It was tough and I just wasn't sure where our relationship was going to go. I knew what I wanted, but there was uncertainty.  That time I was older and more sedentary, and didn't have a fitness center at my new job.  It took longer, but once again I lost the weight.  During that time, I did make an effort to understand my emotional eating (which helped), but I never really dealt with it.

Now I'm on my third time.  This time I have a pretty good understanding of how & why of my emotional eating.  I've also been working more on finding alternatives.  It helps that I have my MIL's horrible example as a constant stark reminder what years of food & cigarette abuse will do to a body.  It also helps to know that I know what to do and have been successful in the past.

On the other hand, as a young woman who was pretty and not really comfortable around men, I also have my fair share of uncomfortable memories of unwanted sexual attention.  That part of losing weight scares me, even at my age.  But I can't let that hold me back from doing what is right and best for me.

I guess this whole thing goes to show that if you only make superficial changes, you probably aren't going to have long term success.  What that means and how that looks is probably as different as each of us.  Some folks seem to have to deal with this stuff very little - or maybe they just don't talk about it.

Well, off to the gym!

Good news/bad news

Bad news: Scale has been stuck for 3 days.

Good news: Went out to dinner on our date night and the scale didn't go up this morning!

See, daily weighing can be either a good or bad thing, depending on your POV.

Friday I was determined to force the scale lower (even though my usual pattern is lose, followed by a couple of days of staying the same).  Thursday I ate a late dinner and didn't have a snack after working out.  I went to bed hungry, woke up at 3:30 Hungry, and got up at 6:00 HUNGRY.  The scale didn't budge.  Lesson learned:  Long view good, short view madness.

Weather here is gorgeous - had a lovely walk in the park.

Off to do housework -have a good one!

Pooped!

Came home from work.  Fixed dinner, cleaned the kitchen, packed breakfast and lunch, made the grocery list so groceries can be purchased tomorrow (by someone else while I'm at work - hurray!).  Now I am posting before I put on my sneakers to head to the gym for weights and elliptical.

I am down a pound today - so 0.6 pound down from where I was last Friday.  Since I am not going anywhere this weekend, I will be extra careful.  One carefully chosen meal out, and the rest at home.  All week to get back to where I was last Friday.  Shenanigans!

Having said that, I have shown consistent progress since I (re)started weighing regularly on Sep 5, so  go me for that.

When I get home, I plan to veg in front of some football, read a bit, and crash.

Have a good evening!

Consistency is the most critical element

Lately, I've come to value consistency over willpower.  Willpower is good, but it doesn't always stick around.  Ingrained habits stay with you. These days the weight isn't exactly falling off, but it has been consistently heading downward.  The things I'm doing feel sustainable.

I've been getting on the scale pretty much every day.  At first I was a bit nervous.  Like many folks, I have a bad tendency of letting the scale dictate my mood for the day, so I wasn't sure this would work for me.  But I have found the opposite to be true: by seeing a new number every day, I have so much data that a single data point doesn't hold a lot of power.

The other nice thing about daily weighing is that it lets me see the impact different things have on the scale.  A good example was this weekend: I did NOT go overboard with my eating.  I ate some things I don't normally have and I ate several meals out, but not to excess.  Nevertheless, the scale was up 2 pounds after my trip.  It's still up a pound.  What!?!?

My takeaway from that is: it's okay to travel and enjoy something out of the ordinary, but there will be a price on the scale.  And if its taking you most of the week to get back to where you were before, then it better be OUT of the ordinary, or every week you'll be undoing the damage from the weekend!  It's not worth it on a regular basis!

Last night's workout was awesome!  I was a little grouchy headed to the gym, but a solid weight session followed by HIIT on the elliptical, and I was good!  Tonight is water aerobics.

Have a good evening!

This is my life now

Whenever things change, it can be tough to find your new "normal."  For years I was a morning exerciser, but now that most of my commute takes place on the interstate, it's much easier if I go to work early.  I try to get there at 7 (or a little after).  That leaves me plenty of time to exercise in the evening, but not much tim ein the morning! For years I was a morning exerciser, so I never thought this would work for me, but it's great!  I really enjoy the things I'm doing now at the Y.

Food is the same.  I've got a good balance between one or two indulgence meals - not going off the rails, but eating something I wouldn't make at home, but staying on track. Sure I could lose weight more quickly, but the way I am eating now feels like how I want to eat for the rest of my life.

The way I eat and exercise has become my new "normal".  Like a lot of people say, I'm not on a "diet" - I've found a way to live my life that is sustainable and will get me to a healthy weight.

Yesterday was water aerobics.  Tonight is weight training and the elliptical.  I thought about trying to get to yoga beforehand, but I took a short nap when I got home and now I'm on the computer. :-)

This weekend my friend Kay and I went to Wilmington, picked up my son, and headed to the oyster festival.  On the way down we stopped in a most unusual junk shop!  We picked up fresh shrimp, caught hours before off the dock where we bought them.

Dinner was mostly oysters, although the 3 of us shared a bowl of shrimp soup.  We also ordered an entree.  We all took a couple of bites and sent the rest home with the boy for leftovers.  It was good, but we were full of oysters! :-)

Sunday morning found us watching the sun over the river as I cooked homemade shrimp and grits with those shrimp we shelled.  It was a wonderful meal, a wonderful visit with my son, and a great time with my friend.  The weather was so perfect.  I am really dreading winter.  Ugh!

Okay, I'm getting ready to head out to work out.  Have a good evening!

Monday

After an awesome weekend, it was hard to come back to reality.

Just got home from water aerobics, need to go & grab a shower.

Good night!

Touching Base

I am pooped, so I am keeping this short.

Saturday AM I was down a pound.  I had an awesome weekend at the coast - more details later.  It was terrific.

Have a good evening.

A good day, and an interesting article

First of all, I'd like to share a really excellent article I read today: http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/16/health/dying-regret-body-hate/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

The article is written by a hospice chaplain to discusses the biggest regrets of the dying people she works with: body hate and body abuse. 

I wanted to share it because I wanted to remind me (and you) that your body is an amazing gift.  Yes, we should take care of it as best we can.  But don't be miserable over your frizzy bangs or freckles, or saggy boobs!  Rejoice in everything it can do, and celebrate all the wonderful new things it is able to do as your fitness and health improve!

Work was good.  I came home and laid down a few minutes, then I ate a yummy dinner (a cabbage casserole and sliced tomatoes).  I went for a walk in the park with my mom, hit the gym for a short workout on the elliptical.  Now I am off to shower and pack.

I am headed out early for Ocean Isle and the oyster festival!  Hanging with a good friend and my son - perfect weather, fresh oysters, Carolina beach music.  Nothing could be better!

Have a good weekend!

Hello and good night (again)!

Today we had a team lunch at work today.  I knew it might be a bit of a challenge, so I set myself up for success.  I threw some baked chicken breast into a container with half an avocado.  Yes, several people asked me pointedly what was in the container and why.  I explained that I wasn't sure anyone was bringing chicken and I don't eat ground beef (well, I will eat organic ground beef, but not regular). 

When the person bringing the lettuce and tomato sent an email saying she wouldn't be in, I called a colleague who was coming in late and asked her to pick it up.  Like me, I knew her plan was to make a salad instead of eating the chips or tortillas.  She did.  So I made a salad with that stuff plus my stuff from home.

Afterward, someone pointedly asked me if I was going to eat a cupcake.  (Uh, eat a cheap cupcake from Wal-Rip???  Yuck!)

Why do people feel the need to be the darn food police???

Oh, and before the day was out the team was already planning our next "food gathering" - finger foods.  Originally Halloween, but now it's Wednesday before because the Employee Satisfaction team is serving subway sandwiches, chips, and cookies on Halloween.  We also planned the pot luck for Thanksgiving.

I gotta tell you, good food tempts me, but cheap crappy food doesn't (unless I'm hormonal - ha ha).  And if people want to get together over food, that's cool.  Just don't give me a hard time when I don't want to eat it.

End of rant.

Did a good weight training session at the gym, followed by the elliptical.

Slept great last night and hope I do so again.

Watching a little football and then I'm off to bed!

Hello and good night

It was a pretty good day, except I was very hungry all day!

Tonight I did water aerobics.  I also applied for a permanent job (where I am currently working).  It's not exactly the work I am doing now, so there may be another temp that is doing the job that they will want to hire, but I figure its a good idea to get my name out there with the leadership.  So we'll see.

Anyway, I am tired, so I am going to brush my fangs and wash my paws.

hope you had a good day.

Good night!

Good morning

Hello, just thought I would check in.

Most of the bloat is gone and I am feeling more energetic again.  Hurrah!

Yesterday was really nice and mom and I took a great walk in the park.  I am trying to enjoy it now because winter will set in soon!

I was really craving junky carbs yesterday.  I swear the chips in the break room were calling me.  No, I didn't have any.  I guess we all have those days.  Anyway, I stuck to my planned food and feel really good for it today.

Have a good day!

Listening to my body

I woke up about 7:30.  I fixed breakfast and helped my husband get on the road.  Then I went back to bed.

I don't remember the last time I did that, but I did it today.  I was super busy yesterday - on the go all day.  I have a few things to do today as well (sweep the house, more food prep, finish laundry).  I decided to skip going to the gym for Body Pump.  I just feel lethargic.  So I am going to do my chores here and stay home.

I'm not sick, just tired.  So I am going to take care of myself today so I can get up and go to work tomorrow and feel good.

It's cool and rainy.  It was in the 80s yesterday, but I think that was the last hurrah.  Fall is here.

I hope you have a good day.

Weekend mash-up

I am glad that I have reached that point where exercise gives me energy, as opposed to making me exhausted.  That makes life much better.

I had a bit of a meltdown last night.  I was tired, my hair was dirty, and I think I growled at my husband when he called me out over my second glass of wine.  Then I started my period overnight and it all made sense....

If you add pickled beets to your salad along with your ranch, it looks like you have dumped pepto bismol over a pile of poor, innocent produce.  But I doubt anyone would steal it from the work fridge! :-)

I was sad when we got to south Florida and the Y wasn't a thing like it is here.  I love our YMCA so much.  For one, its a great facility and the prices are very reasonable.  But I also really appreciate the fact that you see a bit of everyone in there - kids learning to swim, seniors working out, and everyone in between.  It's the opposite of a snooty gym, and I love it for that!

Yesterday was a great day!  Lately I've caught myself several times just feeling really good.  I know part of it is healthy eating and exercise, but a lot of it is attitude.  The weather is great, I'm thrilled to be back home, I'm far enough up the learning curve at work that I feel comfortable.  Sure things aren't perfect - there are a lot of things I wish were better, but I'm really enjoying where I am right now.  That is such a great feeling.

I have a busy weekend planned, but luckily its mostly cleaning & putzing around the house.

Have a good one!

Not - toberfest!

I'm doing a sort of weird "anti-Oktoberfest" around here.  Instead of eating decadent food and drinking beer, for this month I am giving up beer entirely and exercising daily.

Who am I and where is the pod???

Tonight's double feature was 1 hour of spin class followed by 1 hour of water aerobics.

Too tired to watch tv, I am going to bed.

Good night. 

Second helpings

Of exercise, that is.

Tonight I was supposed to work out with my personal trainer.  When she called to cancel, I wanted to come home, eat scrounged leftovers, and make a double feature of "Sharknado 2" and "Rabid", both of which came in the mail today.

Instead I popped dinner in the oven, rebooted the dishes and packed breakfast and lunch while it cooked, ate, then headed to the gym for an hour of yoga and 30 minutes of kicking my own butt in the weight room.

NOW I can watch trash on television, guilt free!!!

Good morning

It has been a nice weekend.

The hub and I had a nice date Friday.  Saturday was VERY busy! Errands, a nice walk in the park.  The weather here is AMAZING.  It was one of those days - sunny, in the low seventies, with some nice gusty winds that felt like God was giving the world a good cleaning out.  The air was so fresh, and being outside was such a pleasure.

I also did laundry, cleaning, and loads of food prep.  I needed to gets hubs food ready to go back for the week, plus stuff for his birthday dinner.  It was a great meal and he seemed to really enjoy the day.

This morning I got up and made a nice breakfast for everyone and now I am doing laundry and I have a tad bit of food prep - soup for my lunch.

Today I am meeting the personal trainer for a workout.  Gosh, the workout we did the other day was so great.  I am hoping for another one that good!

have a great day.

"Hot date"

Last night's date consisted of eating a good meal (salad & gryo without the pita), walking for a mile on the indoor track at the gym, and then soaking in the hot tub.

Perfect!

Have a good day!

Thursday

Another busy day at work!  Pedal to the medal all day.  Ran a couple of errands on the way home, took a quick nap, then supper.

Dinner tonight was salmon patties as we say in the south, salmon burgers you might say.  We make them with canned salmon.  They are quick, easy, inexpensive, and totally yummy!  It's one of those things my grandmother used to make - a good example of how old fashioned food can also very healthy.

I did weight lifting tonight - it was weights and intervals and I came home totally wiped out.  A very good workout.

I hope you had a good day!

swimming

Went to water aerobics tonight.  It was the first of the month, we had 2 new people.  Last month's new person is gone.  I think we have a great group of gals, but for some reason, newbies don't seem to stick with it.  Huh.

Anyway, good dinner (stir fry), good workout.  Gonna go pack my lunch for tomorrow.

Still kinda in a funk, but you know, these things happen.  Things are okay, this weekend is my husband's birthday.  We are grilling surf & turf at home with the family.  That will be nice.

All in all, things are ok around these parts.

take care!

Eh

Packing my food, tracking it on Sparkpeople, going to the gym....

Heart's not in it, but sometimes you just keep doing it anyway.

Take care & keep on!

Sunday Evening

Today was a very productive day.

• This morning I prepped the food for the week that I hadn't finished yesterday.
• Washed (and put away) laundry.
• I changed out some spring/summer clothes for fall/winter and organized my closet.
• Deep cleaned my bedroom.
• Visited with my best friend.
• Did an AWESOME workout at the gym.
• Watched a little football.
• Went to Kohl's to look for some close toed work shoes.  No luck. :-(

So, all in all, it was a busy (but good) day.

At the gym we worked back and legs (and a little abs at the end).  We moved quickly so it was a bit of a cardio as well as weight workout.  The time flies!

Even though money is tight (especially since the vet bill for taking care of Bess was CRAZY), I am SO glad I decided to hire a personal trainer.  I don't know how long I will work out with her, but for right now I am very thankful to have the extra motivation and accountability.

Hope you all had a good weekend.

Take care.

Okay

Good morning.

It's been a tough weekend.  We all miss our little Bess very much.

But you know, we still have to take care of ourselves.  I've prepped food (and have more to do today).

I am meeting with my personal trainer this afternoon to work out.

Husband is getting ready to head back to work.  A close friend came over yesterday and spent the day hanging out - it was just what my husband needed.

Today we begin moving on.

Bess

Our dog Bess is gone.

That's it.

Not much to report

Bess is still in the ICU.  Yesterday she had her 3rd transfusion, as well as a transfusion of human gamma globulin.

She isn't really improving.

I'm going to the gym in a few minutes, but my heart isn't in it.

That's all I got.

Doggie update

Bess is still in the hospital.  She has had 2 transfusions.  She's hanging in there, but hasn't turned the corner and isn't improving yet.

Please keep us in your thoughts.  She's a special part of our family.

So much to digest

My husband went to the PA at work for a wellness screening.  The results were pretty much a bitch slap across the face.  Guess what happens when you gain weight, quit exercising, and eat too much crap?  Back on bp meds, other numbers not so hot either.

Life on the res is like a small town.  The PA?  Her half brother is my husband's illegitimate half brother (that he never knew he had).

Oh, and our chihuahua has developed an autoimmune disorder and is in the hospital.

Yeah, what a weekend, 

Apparently yes, all women

I have been coming home, napping, eating, and going to the gym.  Then shower, sleep, work, repeat. So I haven't had a lot of time or energy for posting, but that doesn't mean I don't have anything to say.  I actually have quite a bit.

Let's start with something that happened yesterday.  I went upstairs to the cafeteria to buy some fresh spinach off the salad bar to put with my salad packed from home.  When I walked up to pay, the guy checking me out said, "Does your husband know you're wearing that shirt?"

Now let's be clear, I wear a sports bra under my shirts because some shirts are kind of low cut and it looks like a nice camisole.  You couldn't see that - the shirt isn't low, it's just V cut.

And even if it were cut down to my fucking navel, how was what he said appropriate?

I wish I could say I had a snappy comeback, I was just shocked. 

And people wonder why I get uncomfortable when I lose weight.

This is why.

Hello

Hope your weekend was as nice as mine.

I had a lovely time making curtain's for the house boat and doing some mending.  Did the usual shopping & food prep, blah blah.  But having my son & grandpuppies here made it special.

Work is getting better - I'm far enough up the learning curve that I don't come home feeling like a zombie any more.  yay!

Tonight is swimming and water aerobics.  Thursday I am meeting with a personal trainer to help get the weights back on track.  All in all, things are going pretty well.

Take care!

Happy weekend

This weekend my son decided to come up.  I am so excited!

We are having a nice family seafood dinner, I'm making some curtains for his boat, we are putting 2 new tires on his car.

I think my mom and I will still head down to the coast next weekend to work on more curtains, but for now, I have my son & grandpuppies here!

Have a great weekend - enjoy your life.  That's what health is all about! :-)

A form of self innoculation

Remember last weekend, when I got on the scale and got upset?  Yeah, me too.  I spent a lot of the weekend grouchy - in part due to the scale.  Which is silly because when I got on the scale 2 days later that "gain" wasn't there.

I talked to my best friend about it.  She weighs herself every day and suggested I try that.  So I have been.  My thought is that if I weigh every day I won't get so worked up over an isolated gain because I'll be seeing a new number the next day.  Sort of like taking a flu shot - give yourself a small dose! :-)

I like using spark people - I don't mind entering my food portions and once I get in the swing of it, I don't find it takes more than a few minutes.  Also, I have found several excellent articles and I think it is really making a difference in my motivation.  Mrs Swan mentioned she'd like to track food but not amounts - I don't know of any online program that does that.  You could always use an Excel spreadsheet!

Tonight is just water aerobics - I'm heading out in a little bit.

My son is coming home for the weekend - woo hoo!  I am making curtains for his house boat. :-)

Take care!

Mid week check in

Monday night was very busy with swimming and water aerobics.  With just water aerobics, I don't generally get my hair wet, but of course I do with swimming.  Which means I come home and have a small snack and then HAVE to take a shower and wash my hair.  Pain in the butt, but oh well.

Class went pretty well.  When I swim, I use a nose clip.  The instructor seems determined to break this habit, but honestly, I don't care that I swim with a nose clip.  My intent in signing up was to work on my form so I could swim laps sometimes.  This evening I will speak with her if she persists in working with me on my breathing rather than swim form. 

Last night I learned that an acquaintance passed away unexpectedly.  I had planned to go to yoga but that just kind of took the wind out of my sails.  I was afraid I would start crying in class, so I opted for a walk in the park.  I didn't know her well, but she was a really special lady.

I've been using spark people to track my food.  Once I get a week set up, its pretty easy since breakfast and lunch are basically the same every day.  I built an evening snack in since I get so hungry after swim.

Anyway, nothing special but I am doing okay.

Take care.

Feeling better

I was pretty grouchy this weekend.

Saturday was crazy - loads of cooking.  Yesterday I did take some down time, which did a lot to improve my frame of mind.

My new goulash recipe is good but needs a few tweaks.

My new meat loaf recipe is a huge win!  It's more of a method than a recipe: I riced (in the food processor) most of a head of cauliflower and then gently sauteed it (to soften it and get some of the moisture out).  I then added that to my regular meat loaf - it was awesome!  Definitely a do over.  You don't taste the cauliflower, but it adds a wonderful moistness and light texture to the meat loaf.  Also - hello, more vegetables!

Today was an okay day at work - kinda quiet again.

Swim lessons start tonight and I am very excited!

Even when things don't go our way, life is still good. :-)

Busy weekend

Typical busy weekend around here: shopping, food prep (a LOT of food prep this weekend), laundry, blah blah blah.

This afternoon I need to do some mending.  It's been a very busy weekend.  But it also feels good to have healthy food prepped for the week and multiple meals in the freezer.

Back to reality

Back to work today. It was quiet - which gave me time to ease back into it and still get everything accomplished.

The visit was really nice.  We are heading back in December and renting a cabin for a few days.  More than ever, I feel like our time is limited.  While still in good health, Alma is definitely more frail and forgetful.  Still and all, she's in good health.  I'm thankful.

Anyway, not much to say today.  Take care.

Traveling on a holiday weekend

I'm not a big fan of traveling on holiday weekends.  I'd much rather travel when there is less traffic.  However, we wanted to come see my great aunt and I had Monday off, so here we are in southwest Georgia.  Driving through Atlanta was a pain (lots of traffic!), but no accidents and we made it through okay.

No real plans - taking Alma to get her hair cut, going out to eat, buying her a few necessities.  After we got here, we ran over to Pine Mountain so we could go to the Humane Society thrift shop.  I bought a couple of toys for the dogs and some of those nice absorbent stone coasters.  Anyway, we are relaxing at the hotel before we go out to eat.  I plan to have fish and veggies.

I love seafood!  I eat a lot of chicken, but also eat seafood at least once a week.  We are going to a bbq place for dinner, but they have really excellent catfish.  But its really all about hanging out with my great aunt.

I hope you enjoy your weekend.

Take care!

Waiting

I really don't like the feeling that I am waiting.  Waiting until we can buy a house, waiting until I've lost 20 pounds, like life is somehow "on hold".

It's not a good attitude, because it takes focus away from the here and now.  I have one of those personalities where I tend to focus on "once I've accomplished X, then Y".  I'm working on it.

Right now I'm focused on today.  Trying to make every day a good day.  Not just in terms of diet & exercise, but appreciating things: talking to my son, the weather, my dogs.

Today has been a good day.  Work went well, I took a short nap, I'm heading to water aerobics.

Take care.

Sharing an article from CNN

This is an article that includes some information and pictures about where I used to work in Berlin (Teufelsberg):  http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/25/travel/berlin-spy-tour/index.html?hpt=hp_c4

Pretty cool!

Ate healthy again, off for a walk.  Tomorrow it gets hot again, so I am enjoying the cool while I can!

Monday

So, work was pretty good today.  I'm definitely coming up the learning curve, although I still ask questions.  Every project is just a little bit different.

Tonight I am going to take a walk in the park.  The weather is nice and mild and it's a great evening to be outside.  So that's my plan.

Right now I still feel like I am settling in to life with much less stress.  I feel like I sound like a baby when I write stuff like that, but I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  Seriously.  Or a heart attack.

Anyway, I haven't gotten back into any of my hobbies other than reading.  I've connected with some friends (which has been great!).  Hub and I did quite a bit in the Society for Creative Anachronism (a historical society), but haven't done much since before we moved to Florida.  There is an event at the end of September I think I'd like to go to.  It would be nice to have more interests beyond the narrow confines of the house & work and the occasional friend, you know?

Anyway, focusing on taking things one day at a time right now.  Today was a good day.  Healthy food, heading out to exercise and enjoy the weather.

Disposable kids

I think women's lib was a good thing.  I appreciate being able to work in virtually any field I want with few limitations.  I am glad I can't be fired for getting pregnant, that I can get a credit card, that I get paid as much as my male counterparts.

The down side of 70s (and beyond) is that people got divorced at a rapid rate, leaving kids to be raised by single parents.  And of course women may get pregnant and the man may not be involved at all.

I'm not saying people should have stayed in bad marriages.  And plenty of parents who divorce do a good job of co-parenting.  This isn't to criticize anyone else's family or life choices - this is about my experience.

When my dad left, he treated the whole experience as a "starter marriage" - a college mistake.  Then he got married and built his dream house and had 3 kids with another woman.  (And got divorced again.)  Sure he said he loved me and I saw him most weekends, but let's face it: I became a baby sitter for when they wanted to go out. 

When I needed anything (like medical care), he cried poor to my mom.  She was a teacher - he had a good government job.  He paid $100 a month in child support.

But it wasn't about the money - it was about the attitude.  I once went through a pretty big depressive period as I entered puberty and my mom wanted to take me to counseling - he told her he couldn't afford to help pay for it.  (He'd just built a big new house & had a baby).

Like many girls who grew up without any positive reinforcement from a father, I used my looks to get attention and approval from boys/men to make up for that.  Which can become a vicious cycle of feeling like guys are only interested in your looks, not you, and down the path to very poor self esteem.

This wasn't 100% circumstance - my dad was one of those people that seems to feel that if he constantly criticizes he is "challenging" his child to do better.  The irony is of course that he hated his father for that mode of parenting and they had a terrible relationship, but of course he parented the same way his father had modeled for him.

The reality is I am very uncomfortable at a healthy body weight due to years of unwanted and inappropriate attention from men.  I feel safe overweight.

I know what to do to lose weight.  I've spent most of my life at a healthy weight.  I don't like being overweight, but I feel emotionally secure here. 

For me, losing a few pounds is a hellula lot more than cutting out carbs or hitting the gym more often.  I have to lean to navigate a world in which I am not comfortable.

This is home

I have some more deep thoughts to post (or navel gazing rubbish - depends on your POV I guess).

But this post isn't deep, just heartfelt.

I am so glad to be home.  I am thankful I had the opportunity to live as many places as I have.  Despite the bad bits, I am glad for the 8 years I spent in the Army - it made me a better, more well rounded person.  It gave me the chance to get out and see more of the world.

But after those years living other places, it was nice to come home.  And until I left for 3 years, I didn't realize how important being here was to me.

I grew up in the South.  To me, summer is about heat, the sound of cicadas, the smell of tomato plants (and tomatoes), and the prickly feel of fresh okra.

It's about moving slow, speaking kindly, and smiling more.

The older I get, the more I appreciate the wonderful family I was given, my friends, and my sense of belonging in this place.

I am not a perfect person.  My continued struggle with consuming more than I need indicates that I still have work to do.  But I feel so much better being in a place where I feel I belong.

Today

Tracked food and exercised.  We had a storm this evening, so I did a 30 minute walking video here at home.

After such a fabulous weekend spent on fun activities with friends, work seemed so ... blah. :-)  But it was a fine, busy day.

I got on the scale this morning (it was in the guest room so I waited until today to weigh) - I had lost 1.6 pounds.  Yay! :-)

Today was a good day.

Why do you overeat?

Many people who blog about losing weight have always been overweight.  A few will talk about slowly gaining weight after having children, but never really seemed to have necessarily overeaten before.

While that is true to me as well (a slow weight gain that began in my late 30s), I also distinctly recall when and why I began to overeat.

I really began to turn to food when I was around 15, pushed in that direction by my dad and stepmother.

By the time I entered high school, I was 5'2" and weighed around 100 pounds, wearing around a size 4/6 (no idea what size that would be today).  My dad and stepmother began criticizing my eating habits (I had a healthy appetite), telling me that I would get fat if I kept eating that way,  Needless to say, that only made me want to eat all the more.

God knows there wasn't much to enjoy at their house on the weekends (eventually I refused to go, then I left for school and didn't have to go) - food was something to enjoy.  That was the point that I consciously turned to food. 

 

That thing we do in Pennsylvania

http://citypaper.net/article.php?Reports-from-a-medieval-war-20974

Whirlwind

I'd say good morning, but its already afternoon! :-)

So, last weekend I drove up to Hagerstown Md for a long weekend to visit a good friend.  She used to live nearby and we got together regularly to sew (she is an amazing seamstress), but she & her husband split up and she moved to Md.

I hadn't seen her in quite some time, so it was a real joy to have a weekend of hanging out together.  It was great!

I'm sure I've mentioned that due to moving and new jobs, we skipped our annual camping trip up in PA with friends.  It was HARD.

The good news was that dear friends of ours decided to drive down to NC for a few days before driving back to Cali.  They arrived Thursday night and left this morning.  It was wonderful!  I can't tell you how nice it is to be in the company of good friends after feeling so cut off.  It was an amazing visit.

I am so blessed!

Today hub and I are hanging out & doing errands.  He is headed back tomorrow, but I feel like we've had such an amazing weekend.

Tomorrow I am driving to Durham to hang out with another good friend.  Going out for lunch (Korean) and then watching "Sharknado 2" together.

I feel like my happiness battery has been recharged! :-)

Eh

I've been feeling bummed.  I've been busy, and frazzled.

Today I was feeling a bit sad.  When I went to Costco, I picked up a package of dog toys.  Because the joy of a dog is a cure for many things.

Anyway, been busy and out of town.  Catch up soon!

Tweaking the schedule - again!

Hello!

One thing about hub heading back Sunday morning is that I need to have all my food prep done Saturday.  That made for a pretty long day yesterday.  On the plus side, it means Sunday afternoons are free!

Today I went to the farmers market and bought about 3 pounds of okra to pickle.  (I love pickled okra).  So I am excited about doing that.

My chores are done and I can just chillax.

It's been a tough weekend.  My stepdad is in the hospital with sepsis, that's not good.  The chemo has just knocked out his immune system.  I've been stressed. about that.

But hub and I had a nice weekend together.  Next weekend we are going our separate ways to visit friends, so I'm glad we had a nice weekend together.

Anyway, take care and I hope you have a nice day!

Isn't it Friday yet?

The last couple of nights I have slept with my windows open.  It's been nice and cool but either noise was disturbing me (and the dogs) or all the yard work has stirred up something which aggravated my allergies (I woke up with a sniffly nose and slight headache) because I haven't slept particularly well either night.

This morning I wanted a nap before I even left for work and I had to resort to a diet pepsi!  I came home and took a nap for 20 minutes.

Did the same lunch, breakfast, & snacks today.  Saved calories for after water aerobics.  Tracking my calories feels good and I am excited about starting to lift weights again.

Hub is on the way home - his new days off are Thursday - Saturday, going into work Sunday at 8 pm.  Only it makes me feel like it should be Friday but of course it isn't.  Oh well, we'll get used to it!  I'm glad he has weekends largely back again.

Have a good day!

Happy mid week!

Greetings!

Several people from our team were gone on the tour I did last week of a lockbox facility nearby (its a banking thing).  It made for a quiet day at work.  I feel like things are beginning to fall into place.  I still ask a lot of questions, but can mostly work independently.

Had a bigger breakfast and mid morning snack, so no add ons in my lunch salad!  I came home and ate a good dinner, but left some calories for after water aerobics.

I am planning to try this:  http://hundredpushups.com/  It seems like it would be an easy way to get back into some good weight training habits.  And one thing I know from my years in the Army is that you can get a fantastic workout with no equipment.  And that push ups will transform your upper body! (In a good way!)

Mood is still solidly in the "good" category. :-)

Starting where you are

Today was a good day.

I have made some valuable discoveries by tracking my food.  For example, I realized my breakfast calories are too low, and then I'm adding "add ons" into my lunch salad (cheese, sunflower seeds) that are ramping up lunch calories - probably because I am really hungry!  So today I made my breakfast a bit larger to level off the calories.  It's also made me look long and hard at evening snacks - I purposely keep some calories for after dinner (especially nights I have water aerobics).  So I need an evening snack, but I need to keep my calories leveled through the day. So tracking is a big win!

Today I took a walk in the park (temps are cooler this week and I am taking advantage!) and I lifted a few weights with my kettlebell here at home.  Nothing crazy - just getting back into it.

This Saturday I plan to try the body pump class at the Y.  Getting there in the evenings hasn't worked out.  I just don't have the energy to try anything new after a day at work, you know?  I didn't sign up for Saturday morning water aerobics this month - just the 3 evenings a week. I plan to add weights back in this month.

Anyway, I would say things are going well.  Even at work.  Yesterday was a very stressful day at work, but I came home, ate supper, then went to the Y. It's not ideal, but I am happier than I was at my old job, and I am generally feeling more confident.

All in all, I feel like I am making some good progress.

Take care.

Bribery will get you everywhere

Today was a good day.

I got back on Spark People and tracked my food and exercise.  I am headed to the gym in a few minutes.  I'm feeling good about where my life is right now.

Years ago I thought of a tattoo I wanted to get, but it symbolizes (for me) femininity and strength - 2 things I haven't felt in quite some time.  So I sorta shoved the thought off to the side.

This weekend I told my husband about the tattoo and why I wanted to get it.  He is 100% supportive.  I've decided to make it my reward for achieving my weight loss goal. 

To help me get there I've decided to pay myself for good behavior. *lol*  Working out, tracking food - I've given myself opportunities to earn up to $15 per week.  That money will go into a savings account for my tattoo.  Watching the money build up will be a good incentive!

Anyway, that's the plan I thought of to help keep me motivated.  Long range plans are good - but I need some short term payoff too!

Anyway, time to get ready to head to the pool.

Have a good evening!

So much to say

This weekend brought some pretty profound change in  my life.

I've written in the past about the stresses around our move to Florida.  I've mentioned that the whole situation caused some pretty serious stress in our marriage.

The reality is that there were some issues before.  Nothing serious, but you know how it is: if you don't deal with issues, things fester.  The truth is we were both cruising along, not really dealing with the issues.  I felt like my husband didn't hear what I was saying - which he admits he didn't really understand that the issues were creating other problems.

I know I'm being vague - I'm sure you can all appreciate why.

Yesterday I drove up to Cherokee to spend some time with my husband.  His work schedule was changing so he wasn't coming home.  On the way up I had a long talk with one of my closest friends.  That talk really helped to crystallize some things in my head.

While I was up there, hub and I talked long and hard about a lot of those "Florida" issues.  Something he said prompted further thought.  I called him this morning while driving home, and we talked about some of those earlier issues.  For the first time, I think he really heard and understood.

Now that we've really talked and cleared the air, we are able to move forward.

I am so thankful.  I love my husband very much.  He is a wonderful man and I want to stay married to him.  But even more than that, I want us both to have the kind of marriage that feeds our souls.  I feel that now we can work to making things even better.

The reality is those issues caused me to "check out" from my life to some extent.  To use food or books or movies to disengage.  And the past few years that became even worse.  That level of being "disengaged" from life left me in a stagnant place - not really moving forward.

All this explains why I have dreams, plans, goals, but haven't made a lot of progress.  I feel like I'm ready to move forward.

It feels wonderful.

21 Signs You Need To Make A Life Change

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14609/21-signs-you-need-to-make-a-life-change.html

Still working on it! :-)

Largely pulled it together

I was in a very blah mood this morning.  I even teared up a couple of times.  (I hate that).

But all in all, I pulled myself together.  I did my errands, got most of my food prep done, cleaned my room, washed laundry.

I need a bath however! :-)

Grrrr

We all know that it is important to stay the course, do the right things, eat healthfully, in the correct amounts, exercise regularly, and not get discouraged when the scale doesn't follow along obediently.

But one pound?!?!?  I admit: I am very grumpy.

I did go for a lovely walk in the park.  I will not let this spoil my mood - that would be foolish.

Grrr.

Quick update before I'm off to errands

Water aerobics is going well - I went Mon, Wed, Thur, and again this (Sat) morning.  I really enjoy it - it's fun and just enough accountability to keep me going even when I don't initially feel like it.  Right now, it's the perfect routine for me.

I was weaning off my anxiety meds, but decided that might have been a bit premature.  I am currently taking half (of the lowest dose pill available) a day.  Eventually I will wean off, but right now I'd like a bit more time to get settled in. 

My MIL showed up the other day (uninvited) at supper time and stayed for 2 days.  What kind of person does that?  She just absolutely never thinks that other people might have stuff going on.  I try to be cool with it, but sometimes it gets on my last nerve - like the other night.

Anyway, water aerobics for the win! 

A good day

It was a good day at work.  Came home, ate a good meal, went to water aerobics.  I'm pooped.

Random

My husband went to water aerobics with me last night - that was a hoot!

Also, my MIL has no consideration for other people.  That's all I got.

Monday

Sunday evenings are always hard - the weekend is over, the weekday is beginning.

Work is okay - its still stressful, but I'm doing alright.

Ate pretty well today.  We went out for Thai food - it was awesome.  Then I had water aerobics and my husband went with me!  He agreed its a pretty good workout.  I am about to go to bed - I'm pooped!

What, I'm posting again???

Well, hello there!

Today has been a good day.  I went to the farmers market, and went to Kohl's.  Got a second swimsuit for swimming/water aerobics and a top for work.

I am doing some chores but mostly having a relaxing day piddling around the house.  Yesterday I bought canning jars so I can make pickled okra.  Yum!

It's so good being back in the south.  I've lived a lot of places, but this feels like home. :-)

Saturday

Hello!

Hope you are enjoying your weekend.  This morning I took my mom to her first ever water aerobics class.  She liked it pretty well, but she was shocked at how tired she was after!  I tried telling her its a really good workout, but it feels deceptively easy while you are doing it.

Anyway, ran a bunch of errands today but also took a nap. :-)  It was a nice day.

Creating habits

I have no profound words or wisdom to add.

I am working (again) to cut alcohol out - its just too many empty calories, which can also lead to snacking.  It's a lose lose proposition.  Gotta go.  It's not that I drink so much, but even a glass of wine or 2 on a regular basis, plus a little "snackie" alongside can easily send things in the wrong direction!

Also working on adding regular exercise.  Which is weird because I really do enjoy exercise, its just finding the time and energy can be difficult.  But nonnegotiable.

Wednesday water aerobics was cancelled due to a thunderstorm, but we had it last night and it was loads of fun!  It's a nice group of ladies.  I really enjoy it.  They are "older" (a couple are around my age, a couple are a little older) and they don't have that competitiveness that seems to happen in packs of younger women.

Mom isn't sure she is going to like it (she signed up for Saturday morning).  But at least she's giving it a try.

Have a nice weekend if I don't post again!

What a woman wants

Something a colleague said the other really stuck with me.  She jokingly (kinda) remarked, "Women really didn't think though this whole equal rights thing.  Now we get to work men's jobs AND ours."

We both laughed and went our ways, but isn't that the truth?

Any time I talk to a married girlfriend, and we get into a discussion of what our husbands do (or don't do) around the house, every one of them says that she gets frustrated by the fact that she does most of the work.

I don't mean just cooking or cleaning, but organizing, paying bills, running errands - most of that stuff falls to the woman.

Nobody says they do it all (unless they stay at home), but every friend I have that works outside the home also does the majority of work inside the home, to varying degrees.  And every friend I've talked it over with agrees its a source of contention in the marriage.

As hub and I start new jobs and make adjustments in our lifestyle, he is seriously falling short on picking up his share of the deal on the home front.  I've tried humor, and there have been some tears.  It's not that he doesn't care, I just feel like he doesn't get it.

I'm trying to be patient.  We are both coming up a big learning curve in adjusting to our new life.  But it makes it harder for sure.

I like my new job.  But for the first time in my adult life I am on a team that is mostly women.  And its a large enough team that we have "clicks" to some extent.  It's not that anyone is mean or anything, I'm just completely unused to this dynamic.  It is very different!

I am thankful we are able to stay with my mom while we get settled and look for a place.  But that's hard too.

Happiness is mostly about attitude, I know that.  And things remain MUCH better than they've been in years.  But still, I just wanted to whine a bit.

Now I'm off to water aerobics!

More of the same

You know, cooking, cleaning, going to work, etc etc.

Water aerobics again tonight.  I would like to be more consistent about blogging, I guess I'm just not sure what to blog about.  I had meat loaf for breakfast and a salad with grilled chicken for lunch.  Like that's some sort of revelation?

Anyway, here, doing okay.  I don't have anything I'm super passionate about right now, just chilling, reconnecting with friends, living.

Take care.

How did that happen!?

I hope you are all enjoying your long weekend.  I'm okay - been in a bit of a funk for no real reason.  Eh, I guess that happens.

I like water aerobics!  I am making a big German meal for some friends tomorrow and I am very excited about that.

I have to clean the house today.  Yuck! 

The boy is doing better.  Mom has been going back and forth, but I think she's going to start spending more time at home.  Her dogs miss her.

We found a nice house, too bad we aren't ready to buy yet!  Oh well, I have to believe the right one will be out there when we are ready.

Take care!

Emergency!

Down 2 pounds this morning - feeling better, mentally and physically.  (And not just because of the scale).

I am doing some picking up and general chores.  One of which was to try on my swimsuits.  I need a one piece for water aerobics.  I have 4 one piece swimsuits (you own a lot of suits when you have a backyard pool).  I could only find one.  Not a "good one", in the sense that this one shows a bit more skin  and is one of my smaller ones.

So, an emergency trip for a swimsuit is in order. It's always something.  Oh well.  First world "problems", right? I will get a suit I feel more comfortable with and in.

Not a super busy day.  I'm glad because I have to tell you guys, this jobs is SO hectic.  I know part of it is because I am new, but honestly, I am feeling very stressed.

I had planned to make a pot of soup for my lunches this week.  Uh, no.  I will buy the highest quality pre-made soup I can, but I cannot make soup today.  That's one shore too many, and I gotta pick my priorities.  I'll pay more, but it's worth it to get back that time and energy.

Have a good one!

Improvise, adapt, overcome

I had a difficult morning.

I saw a number on the scale that made me feel like I'm spinning my wheels.  But I knew I was going to the Y to sign up for swim lessons!  Got to the Y and the class was already full.

I got in my car and cried.  And called my mom.  And cried.  Then I went grocery shopping and called a friend.  She talked me off the ledge and gave me a couple of ideas.

Then I went back to the Y and signed up for evening water aerobics 3 evenings a week (Mon, Wed, Thur).  At an even more convenient time.  I was sure the class would be full, but I called and she said no, so I drove right over.

Starting next Wednesday, I have signed up for water aerobics for the month of July for 4 days a week - 3 evenings at 7 and then early Saturday morning.

It's a start.  Oh, and I had a salad for lunch. :-)

pretty proud of me

Yesterday was a tough day.  I left work stressed and grumpy. 

Today was another tough day.  A little before lunch I found myself frustrated and feeling teary.  I got up, walked to my boss' office, closed the door, and told her I raised my hand.

I explained that I was feeling a little overwhelmed and confused.  I spoke to my co-workers and expressed the same.  My boss was totally understanding and told me she was glad I had come to her.

Anyway, it was a big step because being new and being a contractor, it was hard to say I was having a tough time, or that I was having a tough time with the style of my mentor.  But I am proud that I did and I felt much better for the rest of the day.

I did what I had to do, and I know the rest will be there Monday. :-)

There is so much to do here at the house - multiple loads of laundry, cleaning the kitchen, planning the meals, shopping, blah blah.

I also need to get my toenails painted and color my hair.

Anyway, doing okay.  Tomorrow I am signing up for swimming.  Yay!