Waiting for the galactic bus Everything feels like it’s in a hold pattern right now. The house is on the market. My grandmother quit drinking liquids on Friday, so we’re waiting for the end. Sadly, waiting isn’t my strong suit. Sorry – I just don’t have a lot fight now.

Stuff House goes on the market Monday. So glad this is nearly done. Now to keep it perfect looking! Our trip to Florida was heinous. The first bit was fine – we looked at houses (found one we liked), looked at schools (they were all good), and then the plan was to drive to St. Pete & have dinner with my stepbrother, then on to Tampa where I’d be dropped off at the airport Tuesday morning to come back to work and mom & boy would continue their vacation. Except they got horrible food poisoning and there was no way I could leave them and no way they could travel Tuesday. So I skipped the flight, cancelled 2 hotel reservations and booked us into a place in St. Pete for 2 nights. It was awful – my mom especially was just miserably sick. So that totally sucked. My grandma has quit eating, so she’s going downhill pretty quickly now. I bought a BlendTec blender at Costco while I was in Florida. My precious.

And I am spent!

The real estate ladies came and took measurements and photos for the house listing, which goes up next Friday. Poor puppies will be losing their dog door.

I woke up at 4:15 and Jordan was MIA. Turns out she was in the boy's room. Door closed, it was quite warm, plus the light & tv on. She was sitting there alertly watching a P90X infomercial, while he slept the sleep of the dead (and teenagers). Couldn't get back to sleep, so I sat up & read, then got ready for work, packed hub's lunch, and made his breakfast.

I'm hoping that good soaking rain we had last night will green up the yard. I can't believe I just typed that!

So, last night I am watching a Jon Pertwee Dr Who (he was prior to Tom Baker). I really like him a lot. The episode I am watching is called "Dr Who and the Silurians." There was an episode in the last season of the most recent Dr ("The Hungry Earth") that I swear is simply a remake, with a few minor tweaks. Not even a sequel or prequel! I angrily asked hub "Don't they think anyone watches the old Dr Whos?". to which he replied "No." Well, I do and don't steal old storylines - make up your own! Slackers.

MIL has filled out a form to get on the waiting list for some subsidized HUD senior housing up in Maryland. Not sure how long the waiting list is, but she will become BIL & SIL's problemo. Frankly, her health is going downill faster than Guns n Roses career, so she'll most likely be in a nursing home within the next 2-5 years. I feel badly for her, but at the same time she brings so much of it on herself and hurts so many others in the process I feel more anger than sympathy.

Well, that's about all I got.

Know Your State Mottos!

Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity!

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everything.

California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids, And Our Voting Skills.

Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!

Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,
and Honest Elections!

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A Motto?
I Got Yer Motto Right Here!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!


Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum.

Texas
Se Hablo Ingles

Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont
Ay, Yep

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!!

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family... Really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut The Cheese!

Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place!

What’s Up

The house is largely done and the realtor is coming this afternoon. I feel like I just finished a marathon. Still a few small-ish things for hub to do, but we’re pretty much there. I am so tired – I can’t believe I am going to Florida this weekend. Oh, to sit on my sofa with a dog, a glass of iced tea, and a cheesy movie on the sci-fi channel!

It is incredibly difficult to live in a house with no books. I finished 2 I borrowed from the library: Asimov’s “Chronology of the World” which was a hoot. He describes the delay in making Utah a state as being caused by the fact that “the inhabitants chose to practice polygamy rather than adultery.” HA! Very funny, easy, educational read. I also finished “The China Study” - I wish I could buy a copy of that book for all my friends and family. Get thee to the library for it!

I have several books on hold at the library and I’m hoping something will come in before we leave Saturday. At home I have the latest Patricia Briggs book “River Marked”, but hub is reading it. I have the next to latest Elizabeth Moon Paksenarrion book I need to start since the newest one should be arriving next week.

I am currently reading “The Sandbox”, which started as a milblog hosted by Doonsbury creator Gary Trudeau. It is reminding me a lot about my own time in the military – bringing back stuff that has been socked away in the back of my mind for a long time. Like what it’s like to search your car for bombs every time you get in it. Regular people can’t possibly relate to stuff like that.

Oh, I got a promotion at work to Senior Project Manager. Woot!

The boy turned 16 on the 28th of February. It’s amazing how the time has gone, and I’ve been realizing how short the time we have left before he moves out on his own really is. I remember wondering if he would be taking his baby bottle to college – thankfully he isn’t. There were things he did quickly, other stuff slowly. I wondered if I would totally screw him up. Fortunately, the creator made kids awfully tough creatures. I tell him that the other stuff just gives him something to discuss with a therapist when he’s my age. Hee hee hee.

The end is in sight

The realtor is scheduled to come back for another walk through this Sunday. Hub and I both have a few small things to wrap up and the landscaper is supposed to finish today, but the bulk is done.

Let's review the last 6 weeks:

New hardwood in the entrance, living, dining, and kitchen
New carpet in the bedrooms and hallway
Finished remodel of hall bath - painted cabinet, new baseboard
Master bath:
- New tile floor
- Resurfacing of shower and garden tub
- Painted cabinet (professional)
- New counterop and sinks
- New toilet
- New baseboards
Decluttered and staged house
Painted all rooms and closets in house

You see why my back is singing "Ave Maria" and the amount of sleep deprivation I'm experiencing has made life with a newborn look good.

I have lots to write but lack the cognitive function to string much together.

Remembering where I was

I had to go back and read my last post because I didn’t remember what was going on when I wrote it. That about sums things up around here. I forgot a co-workers last name. She sits 2 desks down and we’ve worked together for five and a half years. My mind, it has gone missing.

My grandma is in a holding pattern. Hospice recommended she be taken off the antibiotic, the doctor wanted to do another round. Mom had mixed feelings, so agreed to a second round. They did have a care meeting last week and agreed that this would be it. She still has pneumonia after being on the anti-biotic for 2 weeks, so I think this is just postponing things, but what do I know?

My house is a torn up wreck – the carpet people should be there any minute so the bedrooms have been emptied into the front of the house. We painted the guest room and the boy’s room. Priming over the dark grey walls and painting it tan drove home for him (I think) the fact that this is really happening. He had a total meltdown Sunday. I feel so bad for him.

The master bathroom is mostly painted and is looking really nice. It’s starting to come together – there is still a fair bit to be done, but I’m starting to feel the end is in sight.

I am reading Asimov’s “Chronology of the World” which is an uber condensed history of the world. But since it’s Asimov, the writing is so well done and entertaining that reading it is a pleasure.

I made myself a juice this morning and put too big a piece of ginger in the juicer and man was that a wake me up!!! It did leave me feeling much more energetic. Jack LaLane knew what he was talking about with the whole juice thing.

Tuesday

We are making another trip back to Coral Springs later this month to look at the high schools and houses. Let's just say that after having to call 4 high schools, I know why some of these folks work for the state cause I can't imagine any company hiring them. "Genuine Soviet service" should be the Broward county school district motto.

My grandmother is on Hospice. We are going to visit this afternoon for what will likely be the last time.

What’s new

We are planning a second trip to FTL over spring break to look at the Coral Springs high schools as well as drive around more neighborhoods there since that is now where our school/house search is focused.

Things at our house are coming along. The master bath is tiled and next week will see the back half of the house re-carpeted and the kitchen cabinets repainted. Calgon will be able to take me away again very soon! Also, we’re getting a couple of estimates on landscaping work this week. Target date for completion is 19 March.

Today is a certain somebody’s 16th birthday. Sadly, no license for him since you now have to wait a minimum of 12 months after getting your permit, which he didn’t do until April. We’re going out for a family dinner at his favorite Mexican restaurant.

My grandmother has pneumonia. I hope it’s her time – it’s been nearly a decade since she knew any of us, and years since she’s carried on a conversation or been able to walk. I know she’s been ready.

Spinning head

So, we made it back from our trip safely. It was truly an eye opening experience, in a mixed way. The schools were a pleasant surprise and the boy was very impressed. One school was clearly not an option, but the other 2 looked great. So I feel a lot better knowing that we’ll be able to get him into a really good high school. Then we looked at houses.

What a shock. Sure, the housing market in south Florida may have fallen 50%, but they are still priced higher than here. A lot higher. What that means in practical terms is that 1) we’re looking a little farther out than originally planned and 2) we’ll have to look hard and weigh priorities carefully. We’ll be able to find a house, but compromises will need to be made in terms of space in the house and/ or yard, age of house, etc. But the 2 cities I thought I wanted to look at were immediately taken off the table as options – we simply can’t afford either one. I mean, we can certainly find a house – just not one that we’d live in that’s also in a neighborhood we’d live in.

I posted for my job yesterday. That’s just a formality and once the paperwork is done the process begins. We can move whenever we’re ready, as long as it’s before the end of the year!! Since school registration is going on now and school starts mid August, the clock is ticking. We need to get there as soon as possible to get school registration taken care of. The house goes on the market 1 April. As of now, we are not planning to go to Pennsic. I just don’t see the logistics working out. Needless to say, everyone is majorly disappointed by that.

Anyway, still here, bumbling along.

Laughter is the best medicine

I’ve been so stressed out lately that it’s a wonder my head hasn’t exploded. Driving home from work yesterday I was talking to my mom about how much we have to get done around the house to get it ready to go on the market and how little time we have and how my husband doesn’t seem to understand how little time we have left. I decided that after dinner we really needed to sit down with a calendar and a list of what needed to be done and work on a schedule.

Then I got home and realized I was dealing with Captain Cranky Pants and quickly changed my plans. I know he’s dealing with a lot – we all are. Once Obstinate Boy got home I gave him permission to go to the mall with a friend to get new shoes. Then I made my husband sit down, drink a couple of beers (over the course of the evening), and watch a funny movie. We watched “Step Brothers” with Will Farrell, which is stupid but really funny if you happen to like his brand of humor. So I think it helped both of us to sit down & laugh together. There hasn’t been much of that around our house lately.

Between everything that has to be done and how much it’s all costing, we’ve all been on edge. There’s just so much uncertainty it’s hard not to be. But it was nice to sit down, laugh, and remember that life is good even when it’s tough.

Where I've been, what I've been doing

Let's see.... Home improvement continues, with the kitchen mostly put back together and the back of the house largely decluttered. Hopefully this weekend will see the floor finished and the front of the house completely put back in order.

Looking at houses and schools in Ft. Lauderdale in prep for our trip on thursday. Dealing with a realtor who doesn't seem to be listening. Not impressed so far. I'll meet with her, but I don't see us working with her for the actual purchase unless she totally wows me in person.

We've all had the flu. I'm doing better but still have a persistent cough. I can't imagine why my immune system would be depressed.

Right now I don't feel like I'm dealing with this stuff very well - I'm tired, overwhelmed, and tired.

I know it's not the end of the world or anything, but honestly for me to have my house as torn up as it is now is a huge source of stress. I am way to organized and OCD to deal with anarchy very well.

But... that's life. :-) Hope you have a good day!

Update

I'm still alive. Today will be my first full day at work since Thursday. I'm feeling better, but still tired.

House is slowly coming back together. Hub got a lot accomplished over the weekend - I did not.

We are heading to Fla next week to look at schools and houses.

Weight is the same. Hopefully I'll be up to exercising again in the next couple of days.

Sick

I have been sick since Friday with the nasty fever cold nasty hanging on cough things that is going around. I'm sure my stress levels + tiredness have contributed to a depressed immune system.

Anyway, I cam in for part of the day today because I had something I had to get done for my boss. Then I'm filling a prescription and heading home.

Quick check-in

Yesterday afternoon I went to the work gym with Lisa and did a tough 30 minute workout on the elliptical. She is getting married in May and wants to make sure she can fit in her wedding dress, so she is looking for a workout buddy and some accountability. Works out perfect for me!

I am working at home today (having someone come & do some work on the siding & cleaning the gutters) so I won't make yoga at lunch or the gym with Lisa. However, I have cleaned out enough stuff in my bedroom that I have room to do weights & exercises, so that's my plan for today.

Last night's dinner was white bean soup from the freezer with a big salad. I have stuff for the crockpot tomorrow and another thing of soup for Friday. The kitchen should be back online Saturday night, but I may do another crockpot meal just to be safe. I love my crockpot.

I got on the scale again this morning. Last week I asked Allan to assume I was the same as the week before (for the purposes of his weight loss challenge) because I couldn't find my scale and just didn't know. Yesterday I was a pound higher than that and this morning I was down to that weight. So, I've stayed the same for a week and a half. While this is hardly the intent of a weight LOSS challenge, I'm glad I'm not heading in the wrong direction!

I cleared a small workspace in the kitchen last night, so that's helpful. Honestly, I look around this house and I feel like I have so much work to do, it gets a bit overwhelming.

Have a good day.

The daily report

I went yesterday afternoon to the gym with my co-worker. I thanked her for inviting me and I intend to invite her today. While lunchtime yoga was not at relaxing as it normally is (it's very difficult to quiet my brain these days), it felt good to go and stretch and be quiet for an hour.

Dinner last night was salad and a baked spagetti that my mom brought over. The kitchen is still offline and will be for a while. Tonight hub needs to do siding. When he replaced the french doors last week, we discovered that the old ones weren't a standard size - they were larger. So the new openings needed to be smaller, which means that on the outside of the house we now have an outline around the door frames where the Tyvek is exposed and there is no siding. So the siding on both those walls needs to be replaced. Neither wall is big - thankfully it's a strange little L shaped "indention" in the footprint of the house around where the deck is. I think both walls are maybe 10 feet long. Nevertheless, we may get rain tomorrow so this is priority 1, with getting the kitchen up and running relegated to priority 2. We won't discuss the master bath as I would cry.

The plan for dinner tonight is a salad (a bit of a challenge since I have no work surface cleared to actually do any food prep!) and either leftover casserole or a container of vegetable soup from the freezer, with bread for the guys. Thankfully, the microwave is still accessible.

The guys moved a bunch of stuff out of the master bedroom and into the storage unit last night - I found my scale! I got on it this morning and I gained a pound last week. Not happy about that, but now at least I know so I can move forward.

Breakfast today was a veggie omelet. Snacks are 1) almonds & prunes and 2) 2 clementines. Lunch is a frozen Amy's organic tv dinner and dinner I already discussed. After work I need to pick up some more fresh fruit.

I plan to work out at the office gym today. There is water aerobics and spin at the gym tonight but this is the month that they are remodeling the women's locker room, so last week I had to empty my locker at the Y. I think the contents are in a grocery bag, but their precise location is currently unknown. So my swim suit and spin shorts are MIA.

Co-workers who have lived there keep telling me the schools in Ft. Lauderdale are terrible. Hopefully I can get some more specific information from a real estate agent when they are onsite this week. That is my current HUGE stress point about this move. I don't want my son in a bad school - even if it's only for 2 years.

Hub's stress point is how much work he has to get done to get the house ready to be put up for sale. I jokingly told him that the month of February should be subtitled "28 days of hell" since our goal is to have the house 99% ready to go at that point. I feel like mid-March is the absolute latest we can get it on the market if we want to get it sold.

Okay, enough whining! Have a good day.

Good things

1. The weather this weekend was beautiful, in the mid 60s. A taste of spring in the dead of winter.
2. Breakfast was a hollowed out bagel with an egg. It was yummy. Thanks for the idea Allan.
3. A girl on my team randomly asked me if I was going to work out today and could she go with me. She'll never know what that means to me. I do have yoga, but I might not have done anything else except I will now since she asked. My gym bag and yoga mats are in my desk drawer ready to go!

Hoo boy.

The first 7-10 days after we got the news about the relocation, I guess the best description of how I was would be 'shell shocked.' I was largely numb to my feelings. Well, I'm beginning to feel my feelings again which is both a good and a bad thing. I feel excited about this opportunity, I feel horribly sad about leaving.

My house continues to be a disaster. Hardwood is finished in the living room, halfway done in the entryway, and just started in the kitchen. Because all the rooms flow together (plus the living room being sunken), transitioning from one room to the next and keeping the look "seamless" is difficult. My kitchen has been offline since Saturday afternoon. Thankfully, my mom is bringing over dinner tonight.

The bathroom is in a holding pattern. The floor is prepped for the tile, that has been laid out but not stuck down (does that make sense?). So that room remains empty until ???. Hub shouldn't have touched it but he did, so here we are. I'm not going to give him a hard time about it, he's doing his best. But the hardy board is laid, the pattern is set, and the walls are prepped to be repainted - so actually a good bit has been done, it just doesn't look that way!

As far as the rest of the house - I made good progress this weekend. We have 8 large book shelves: 1 with movies, 1 with CDs, the rest with books. All of those are packed up. We took a couple of loads of stuff to the storage unit. I emptied 2 of my chests of drawers. I've gone through most of my clothes and donated, or packed up for storage.

One of the guys is coming over this afternoon and he and the boy are going to take a load of furniture & stuff over to storage, then load up some of the trash so hub can take it to the dump tomorrow.

I have given away 2 carloads of stuff to Goodwhill and have a huge bag of clothes in the backseat now. Having lived in that house for 12 years, we've accumulated a lot of stuff. So a good decluttering is a good thing.

Checking in

My house is a disaster area, with only the boy’s room unaffected by the work currently underway. Asking “how are you” at work has become a loaded question because you may get a real answer, spending 15 minutes in the ladies room listening to someone’s else’s struggles to decide what to do for their family. I’m not complaining. I met with my boss yesterday, he said I’d seemed down, and I got teary. It’s easy to talk with each other even if we aren’t bffs, because we understand in a way few others can.

Right now my life feels like it’s on hold until my house returns to some semblance of normalcy – I can’t even begin to declutter until stuff is back in place. Making dinner feels like an accomplishment. My plan for the weekend includes trying to find my gym back so I can at least get on the treadmill at work some to help deal with stress. Getting to the Y for classes seems like Mt. Everest.

Within the next 3 or 4 weeks I’ll have a lot more information and we’ll have made a decision. I’m hoping at that point I’ll start feeling a little more like my normal self, instead of living in this weird holding pattern.

Not good

I seem to be in a trough of my emotional roller coaster ride.

We spent $5000 this weekend - new hardwood flooring for the front of the house, 2 new sets of french doors and a back door, and paying 2 guys that work for hub when the company needs extra hands to come out & work at our place this week. (They haven't worked in a couple of months, so the one good thing is that we're at least helping out them). Hub took this week off work to do some of the stuff we were planning to do this year anyway.

We're also getting estimates on work we'd planned to have done over the next couple of years, but may need to get done in the next couple of months.

1000 sq ft of hardwood is A LOT. It is stacked in our bedroom, which currently looks a little like a tunnel system designed by the Viet Cong.

The front of my house is in various stages of packed up/anarchy/torn up. I rented a storage unit around the corner from the house so we have a place to sock stuff away while the anarchy is underway.

Mom was sick this morning and needed someone to drive her to the doctor. I can't do that if I'm in Florida. God I don't want to leave.

I did go to yoga Monday – having it at work is a real blessing right now. As far as food, I’m eating whatever is at hand. I’m not doing emotional eating – I’ve just been going along on autopilot, but it’s only working at 75% or so. I never brushed my teeth Sunday, which should tell you a lot about my mental and emotional state.

Anyway, I know I need to care for myself, right now I just haven’t gotten back to that place. I’m just mushing through, doing the things that must be done - which is more about getting my house ready and looking at details of my options than brushing my teeth or cooking dinner.

Anyway, not good.