Too much time on my hands

Parked in drafts for a couple of days, in the hopes I could be more articulate.

The other night after supper I started feeling anxious, and I realized that I've addressed emotional eating, habit eating, and this one is maybe the final issue that I need to face: boredom eating.  (not that those issues are solved, but they've at least had the curtain pulled back and the light of day shined on them!).

You would think people would never be bored - we have so much to do!  And I certainly had plenty I could do - chores.  But I wanted to do something enjoyable and nothing seemed to fit the bill.  I didn't want to bring out a project (too much effort), I couldn't find a book I wanted to read. Eating would be a way to "switch off".

I have loads of things I want to do, but starting feels daunting.  I've avoided that most of this week by sticking my nose in a book (thanks to a trip to the used book store), but I can't keep avoiding it.

I'm not ok, you're not ok, and that's ok

Hey there.  I said that to a friend the other day, in kind of a joking way, but really, it's pretty true!

There's lots of things that I don't feel ok with, and sometimes I feel angry, or sad, or scared.  I remind myself that those are normal feelings under the circumstances, and it's ok!  I don't have to pretend them away.  I don't have to share them either if I don't feel comfortable doing that.

So that's where I am - all the feelings that come with change, positive and negative.  I get tired of writing about it at times, I guess you get tired of reading it too!

But I'm doing pretty well. Hope you are too! :-)

Still here

It's been a quiet week.  I've been feeling low energy, vaguely sad.

The funeral was nice.  Mom and I did the food, and that turned out well.  It's been a productive weekend, getting a lot of housework done.  I have fun plans the next couple of weekends, so I needed to get some stuff done.

I decided to quit my Cross Fit gym for a while - it just feels a bit overwhelming, plus it's expensive and my job is ending in a few weeks.  I have my kettlebells at home, and I still belong to the Y.  I've been trimming back to my spending.

Not much else to report.  Take care!

Change of plans

My son and I had planned to head to the coast this weekend, but he has strep throat. So, no trip for me!  Oh well, that gives me time to finish packing stuff up from my last trip!

After reading the book, I've decided to start the (new) Atkins diet - this one has a lot more veggies since it uses "net" carbs.  I feel better eating low carb, but I feel like I need more structure, so I hope this will help.  Meals are planned accordingly.

I'm still not really back on schedule - I haven't been to the gym since I got back.  I just really can't decide what to do about that.  Right now it feels daunting, but I have no idea why.

I bought an Atlas so we cna plan our trip across America.  I am super excited about that!!!

Anyway, this weekend is going to be about putting stuff away and getting organized.  Ugh.

Also, my friend and mentor passed away last weekend.  Funeral is next weekend.  That's been hard - mom has been helping her best friend (his wife) get things together for the service.  They've been together since they were 15. :-(

Take care & enjoy your weekend.

Challenge

Yesterday Sean issued me a challenge: In the evening when I begin to enter my "danger zone" (the time of day I'm most likely to overeat), to stop and think about when these habits started, what was going on, and how I felt. 

While I've always been an evening snacker, for most of my life it hasn't affected my weight - I naturally built an evening snack into my eating habits in such a way that I maintained a healthy weight.  There have been two distinct periods when that was not the case: the first one was when my husband and I were dating and he was still living up in Maryland.  The second was when my job was being transferred and causing issues between the two of us.  There were so many things going on, but that was one of the biggest.

Clearly stress - particularly relationship stress, is one of the items that pushes me into losing my equilibrium with food.

I had a chance to talk to my husband on this trip about health insurance - one of the issues I have been very concerned about.  He reassured me that he will continue to carry my son & me on his insurance for next year.  That made me feel better.

My contract is coming to an end in October and money will be tight until I get a new job.  It's nice to not have to worry about insurance at least.

Take care.   

Readjusting

Hi there.

I'm still settling back in form vacation.  I'm caught up at work - not so much at home!  I will write in more detail later - I have a lot of think through.  I will say that vacation provided highs and lows, joy and sadness, but mostly gave me a bit more closure than I expected.  I feel more ready to move forward and less caught in a tangle of fear of the future.  So that's good.

Big hugs!

Home

Good vacation!  Home safe, unpacked, mostly ready to resume reality tomorrow! :-)