You know what poor planning gets you?

Today is one of those days where your first mistake is getting out of bed, and then it all goes downhill from there!! Lol Ugh!

Last night I came home to a very stressed out husband (it was weird, I don't even know why he was stressed and I don't think he did either). I caved and did some emotional eating (ugh). This morning I forgot my breakfast - I was able to stop and get a pretty decent choice on the way in. Then my lunch plans fell through - I ended up going to the grocery store for a tv dinner. A bit high on carbs but okay on calories.

I did do a good kettlebell workout this morning.

So overall, not a great day. Oh well. It happens. Not quitting, giving up, or going nuts because I made a mistake.

Some days.....

Take care.

A bit of a disappointment

At 23 pounds lost, my husband took another set of pictures of me. I could barely see a difference. I can feel a difference in my clothes (although I am still wearing the same clothes) and the scale is lower, but so far those are the only real changes I am noticing.  It's frustrating to have come what feels like so far, but looks like barely a step one of a thousand mile journey.

Having said that, what can I do but continue the course and know that the difference will become noticeable at some point in the next 23 pounds? Le sigh.

Having worked like house elves over at mom's for 2 days, yesterday we worked like house elves around our house. It's looking much more organized. We also made time to go see "Deadpool 2', which we both really enjoyed.

Take care.

The (former?) food pusher

Home from my mom's, The master bath still needs a second coat of paint - it was too wet to do when we left. So that's for Friday. We are wrapping up the painting, we moved a couple of pieces of furniture exMIL wants over to her place, and emptied out our storage unit. (Yay saving money!). Tomorrow we get to work around our house! :-O

Friday at work was interesting. I have a co-worker who has always been a big food pusher. He organizes the potlucks, decides the themes, etc. He's had some MAJOR health issues and ended up having most of his colon removed, which has radically changed the way he can eat. It was interesting that when we had a big going away thing for our intern on Friday, A only had a small plate which had mostly healthy stuff. Not his usual M.O. OTOH, a week or so ago he brought in store bought muffins and walked them from office to office offering folks one. Thankfully he didn't make an issue of it when I refused.

Friday I had 3 crackers, 5 cheese cubes, and 2 strawberries over the course of the day. I skipped the cake and chips and all that junk. It wasn't too obvious since everyone was grazing. Luckily no one pushes the food too hard, but I'll be interested to see whether A starts back up the monthly potlucks - which usually feature the kind of food normally seen at a 5 year old's birthday party. My plan is usually to pack a healthy salad which I can supplement based on what people bring - and I try to bring a healthy option.

OK, enjoy your weekend!

Two milestones and one broken streak

As I thought I might, I crossed 2 milestones today: I've now lost just over 10% of my body weight - a number doctors say is significant, and I weighed less than 200 pounds for the first time since June of 2015.

That is hard to write. I'm a person who maintained a healthy weight all the way up to pregnancy, gained more than I should have, but turned around and took it off - and kept it off for several years. It wasn't until I started dating my ex husband that I really ballooned up. And yet I lost all but 10 pounds of it - and kept it off for quite some time! But of course work & relationship stress took their toll, and I ended up gaining.... 70 pounds. God that's hard to admit.

Today I've lost just over 22 of that 70, so I still have a long weigh to go. But I am trying hard to address emotional issues and stress without food and use less harmful coping mechanisms.

The streak we broke was that we caved and bought take out from Boston Market. By the time we left mom's from painting we were exhausted and neither of us were up to cooking. Calories and salt were higher than if we'd eaten at home, but we both ate on plan.

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print.

Take care.

A little more

In October 2001, I started an Excel spreadsheet to track my weight. I weighed every Friday. I still have that same spreadsheet. There are weeks (and months) with no data, but it's a pretty good picture of my weight over the past 17 years (good gravy!). There are times that spreadsheet has left me down - realizing I'd regained a lot of weight.

Today I looked back - I weigh less than I have in over three years and it was 2013 when I went on our annual vacation to Pennsylvania weighing less than I do now. I find that encouraging. Going primitive camping overweight and out of shape is HARD. I am confident this year is going to be so much better than the recent past!

I was down 2.4 pounds this week. I have two significant milestones I may very well hit over the weekend.

T has a sleep study Monday night - he met with a sleep specialist and she is pretty sure he has sleep apnea. He was really nervous about that and didn't want to have to use a C-Pap, but I told him about Sean being able to quit using the machine (as have others we know) once they've lost weight - and the doctor said the same thing. So now instead of discouraged, he is hopeful that he can start getting the rest he needs so much and that better rest will translate to a better performing body, which will translate to more energy and weight loss. Sleep affects SO MANY aspects of our life - it's amazing.

I hope you enjoy your weekend!

Mission Accomplished

Yesterday morning I had a dental appointment. Since the office is near my mom's, I packed up and worked from her home yesterday. I used my lunch break to roll all of her interior doors - and we got them done!

Saturday we have to paint her bedroom and the 2 bathrooms, and a bit more more in the utility room. She needs to finish up the trim - and the painting will be done! Sunday is moving some stuff and beginning to get things prepped for the realtor to take photos. I am thinking the end is nearly in sight for her. Yes, she is selling my childhood home. But overall I am so excited for her to be finally making her dream of living near the beach a reality.

Work is uber busy today, so no lunch time gym today. Food remains good and the scale is moving in the right direction. Like I told my husband last night in the car "I'm not always motivated, but I remain determined."

Why is this time different (mentally)? I wish I could answer for sure. I just know that I feel ready to be done with this. It's been an albatross around my neck too long. I think for me many things have come together which add up to that readiness, but I think it boils down to two main things: 1) I no longer feel the need to use food to escape from the issues of my marriage and job and 2) I have a spouse who supports, rather than undermines, my efforts.

Those are changes that a part of me wishes I'd made years ago. OTOH, maybe I wasn't ready to learn those lessons then. I can't change the past, but I'm thankful I found the courage to make the changes I needed to in order for me to be where I am now.

Have a good day.

Weight is weird

Saturday I saw a new low. That evening I had a larger than normal snack (but nothing remotely like a binge - I'm talking 500 calories). I was up 0.6 pounds the next morning and didn't think too much of it - hey I ate a large, salty snack. No worries. Except it hung around - it even picked up 0.2 pounds .. even though I was eating on plan. This morning half that 0.8 was gone - leaving me still up 0.4 over Saturday even though my eating this week has been really good.

Sometimes the vagaries of the scale are a mystery to me.

In any case, I continue to eat on plan, knowing that I will see the results. My morning snack has been 12 raw, unsalted almonds. I'm getting tired of them, so I plan to change that up next week. My afternoon snack has been a string cheese. Lunches have been dinner leftovers. Today's was wonton meatballs (from the author of the Nom Nom Paleo website) and stir fry veg. Tonight's dinner is Mediterranean chicken and sauteed green beans courtesy of the crock pot.

The month of no dining out continues to go well, but my husband is tired of dirty dishes. As am I. :-) But I am certainly seeing the payoff on the scale.

Take care!

Reflections

Today was my 12th and final class of my 16 week "Move It!" class at the VA. (Class is 3 weeks on, 1 week off). I've lost just over 20 pounds, starting slowly and picking up speed. Looking back over the time, I've spent some time this morning trying to pinpoint what has changed and how I can continue to be successful.

• I don't feel like "I've got this." I hope I never feel that way. I've learned I can maintain a healthy weight and active lifestyle for years, and still regain all the weight and more. I will need to be vigilant always. In some ways that sounds a tad depressing, but it also means always searching for new things and new ways to challenge myself - which doesn't sound depressing.

• I have finally been able to change my evening snacking habit. I have tried various strategies over the years, but I have always felt like I "deserved" something special in the evening. 

• I've tried to stop using food as a reward.
• I've noticed the correlation between the snack and the scale results, and I don't like it.
• I'm trying to pay attention to my "belly hunger" cues, and differentiating between belly hunger and head hunger. Allowing myself to be physically hungry is new to me.
• I'm okay with my snacking level for now, but if I feel I want to cut back more, I will use the "extinguish" behavioral change method.
• My spouse doesn't try to sabotage my weight loss efforts.

• I'm going to the gym regularly.

• I'm walking more at work.

• We are eating out less.

I will miss the class, but not the chunk of time out of my day or the drive - especially with gas prices going up!

Take care!

Milestone

This weekend I crossed over 20 pounds lost. I am still wearing the same clothes, but they are fitting MUCH better - even a little loose. And I am wearing a few more tops I hadn't been able to wear in a while.

Painting went well, T's concert went well, and we finally went to see the new Avengers movie. So it was a busy but good weekend!

No news on the Lucky front - I'm not sure if they are going to have a biopsy done to better know what type of cancer and how long he might have, or just make him comfortable.

Take care.

What an end to the week

My son's girlfriend's dog has cancer. :-( It's extra sad because he was her granddad's dog, so it's like losing a part of him all over again. And he reminds me & mom of my (deceased) uncle's dog Jojo (Both Jojo and my uncle Jerry are gone - Jerry passed away far too young). And Lucky is a great little dog.

I went to the gym yesterday but this morning it is POURING. Yuck.

I'm down 2 pounds this week.

Feeling down, so that's it for today.

Take care.

Weather and plans

It looks like the rain has settled in for next several days. :-( It was pouring at lunch, so I opted to postpone the gym until tomorrow. We did get a break in the weather and my colleague and I went out for a quick walk.

Our road trip this past weekend has given me some much needed confidence in the "travel and stay on my diet plan" goal. T and I have a fair bit of travel planned in the upcoming months:

• A weekend getaway to Carolina Beach to visit my son
• A surprise long weekend birthday adventure for T's 50th. He doesn't know it but we're going to the Keys for snorkeling and other adventures!
• A trip up to the mountains (Boone) for his band camp reunion.
• Our big annual trip up to PA for Pennsic. 

All of these things will need to be accomplished to maximize fun but stay within budget and dietary constraints. After this past weekend, I think I have come up with a formula for success.

Strategies include:

• We are staying in Hilton properties (when in a hotel). They have a free breakfast which is good (but not amazing) and has plenty of protein options.
• Cooking (at my son's, while camping) our own food.
• Packing a cooler/ lunchbox.
• In general, keeping the dining out to a minimum. And when we do (like a trip to Sunrise Pita Grill), it will be planned and enjoyed!
• And of course - staying active!

I'm still on a "high" from our class yesterday. Overall, I am feeling like this is something I can navigate and that I can successfully lose weight. For the first time in a LONG time, I believe I can control my weight. That feels terrific.

Have a great day!

Really good class today!

So, today was #11 (of 12) of my MoveIt! classes at the VA. There are 3 types of classes (so 4 each): physical activity, nutrition, psychology of weight gain & loss. Today was led by a behavioral psychologist and was "Cues and Triggers".

He discussed the importance of identifying what foods, situations, etc. are behavioral cues for you to overeat and ways to overcome them. Some are easy: if you can't stop with the Pringles, don't bring them in the house. Duh, right? But then he talked about the "extinction" method of changing bad habits. An example would be eating on the sofa. If you eat meals at the table but snack on the sofa, then when you have that urge you could: stop, drink a glass of water. Do a check- are you head or stomach hungry? If you are genuinely hungry, pause your show (or wait until it's over) and then get a healthy snack, but eat it at the table and NOT the sofa. I'd never thought of it that way!

I've been doing better by choosing better snacks, but the reality is that the act of sitting on the sofa is a trigger! Why settle of reducing the snack when I can eliminate the habit unless I'm truly hungry? It was a real light bulb moment for me!

Anyway, this guy was probably the best speaker we've had - he did a terrific job! That's one cool thing - these training/discussions are led by experts.  Anyway, it's been a busy but good day so far. I went to class, went home and waited for the cable guy to come & figure out why the internet keeps crapping out, then came over to mom's so she could run some errands in my car (hers is in the shop).

Last night the internet was down AND the cable kept dropping channels - I've been hating on Spectrum for a while - we'll see if replacing hardware today fixes the issues.

Take care!

Busy weekend

Welcome back to the work week! Lol

I hope you had a nice weekend. Mine was fine - mom and I drove down to Georgia to visit my great aunt. This time she was feeling pretty good and felt like going out to lunch with us. We went to the country buffet she really likes and she thoroughly enjoyed her food and ate every bite! Her energy isn't really good any more, so after that we took her back to the assisted living place to rest, but we keep popping back in for visits throughout the weekend.

We hit multiple stores to pick up several items she needed (shampoo, soap, lotion, etc.) and to look for some comfortable footie socks for her to wear around - she has a problem now with her feet swelling, so finding something comfortable can be tough.

I bought myself a makeup mirror and mom bought a summer purse - our Mother's day gifts to ourselves I guess! :-)

My plan of taking food to supplement and pairing that with good choices paid off - despite being on the road all weekend, I was down 0.8 pounds this morning from Friday, that feels like a huge victory.

I got my mom a really cool gift:

It's a guided journal that you use to record stuff about your life! T liked the idea so much he had me order one for him to give to his mom as well (which she loved). I wish I'd had these to give to my grandmothers.

Mother's Day was .. okay. I didn't get to see my son and we spent the day in the car headed back home. By the time I got home I was tired and grubby and a little sad. It's hard to see someone you love when their body continues after their spirit is done. But she still has moments of pleasure and joy - although they are few and far between. We do what we can.

In any case, it was a fine day and a fine weekend, and as always, I am so glad we went.

I hope you have a terrific week. Take care!

Determination, not motivation

Good morning and happy Friday!

First of all, thanks Laura and Nixie for the comments. No matter the age, you always want the best for your kids!!

I'm down 2 pounds this week. I had an evening where I really oversnacked (Sunday or Monday) and I bounced up 0.6 pounds, but overall still a decent loss.

I'm leaving straight from work to mom's to pick her up, then we are headed to Georgia to visit with my great aunt for the weekend. I made some chicken salad and packed that, some wraps, apples, tomatoes, and some raw almonds so hopefully I can use that to fill out good choices and won't see a gain from the dining out. And a couple of protein shakes. When I'm trying to lose weight, travel can create a lot of anxiety with food for me, so I'd rather be over prepared.

I am not always motivated, but I remain determined to make the the LAST time I lose a significant amount of weight. Third time's a charm! Lol

I hope you have a great Mother's Day weekend!

Deep thoughts

I'm fine. T seems committed to losing weight, so I am glad. We're doing fine. I'm feeling bummed today - my son had a big fight with his girlfriend and I know how much that sucks. I feel badly for him. I just love him and want him to be happy. Relationships are hard, I think things do get easier with age though. He's heading into his final year of college, so he's an adult but not completely independent, but I think she expects him to be, which isn't really fair because she wasn't when she was in college. Whatever.

Anyway, blah.

Here's a picture in case you need any encouragement today.

Take care.

The first step is the hardest

I find that getting started is always the hardest part of anything, and I can be an expert procrastinator! I have a presentation due at the end of the day, and I can't get a handle on how to start! Ugh! When I get this way, I find the easiest thing is to just jump in somewhere, swim around, and then the task will begin to flow.

I decided I was determined to lose weight this time, even if I wasn't always motivated! Instead of doing everything perfectly, I decided to focus on the one most important thing: my food. The gym is still hit or miss, but I'm doing a good job of getting in my steps and sticking to the food plan. Making the decision to not dine out this month has made for some meals that were scrounging in the fridge, but were healthier (and cheaper!) than anything I would have gotten in a restaurant.

One thing I didn't consider was our trip to Georgia to see my great aunt. We will be eating on the road. My plan is to make the smartest choices I can and call it good. I'll keep you posted.

Okay, I better get back to work! Take care!

Tuesday

So my son (who is a mechanic) thinks it may be the computer on mom's car - which is pricey. :-( They haven't called her to tell her anything yet. Luckily she was able to borrow a car from a friend. Fingers crossed!

I had a class at the VA this morning - "Finesse your Food". We talked about building a healthy plate and snacking. It was pretty good. Only 2 more classes! I have enjoyed doing this, but I'm looking forward to moving on as well.

My project at home is finishing the curtains for our bedroom. This has been on the back burner forever! Yesterday I hemmed a pair of pants to take to my great aunt when we go to Georgia this weekend, and since I had the sewing stuff out I decided to tackle the thing I wanted done the most! Behind this I have a couple of minor mending projects, and then I can start on some medieval costume projects for this summer. This is going to take some time - there are curtains (like where the sheers would be) and then there are decorative curtains that flank the window, but don't cover it completely. One window is now totally done. The other one I need to hem the flanking curtains and finish making the regular ones. It felt good to make progress on that.

Take care!

Monday not so funday

No sooner than my mom got her car back from having a new starter put in at her regular place, than she ran an errand and not only would it not start, but the horn wouldn't stop going off! So it looks like they did a repair she didn't need and they told her she needed to take it to the dealer. :-( I picked her up - how frustrating!!

What else? Painting went fine this weekend - faster than I thought it would but also oh so much harder!! We were bone tired Saturday night and came hoe and took a nap Sunday!  But we got the 2 bedrooms and hallway done that I was hoping, so at least we're on track.

I hope you have a terrific week!

Another milestone

Today I hit 15 pounds gone.My clothes feel better, I feel less bloated, but honestly I can't tell a huge difference yet. In 5 more pounds I am going to have T take another set of photos - maybe I can see the difference in the photos even if I can't see it in the mirror.

Last night I helped my ex MIL get her bills all set up online and paid for the month. Except cable - she is going to call them today and see if they will negotiate if she threatens to cancel. Mom and T went and bought paint.  Tomorrow we are headed to her place to get started. Wish us luck!

I don't have too much to say. I can't see the changes yet (although I definitely feel better), so I am using the scale. I wish I'd taken measurements. Maybe we will do that this weekend.

I hope your weekend is a good one!

Change of plans

T told me he wanted to take a break from the gym. In addition to cutting his carbs, he has virtually eliminated sodas and caffeine. He's tired and feeling sluggish - add to that the hectic schedule with painting my mom's house this month and we agreed it was better to wait and start lifting weights next month.

Having said that, I am ready! So I plan to set up a dumbbell routine for myself to use until he is ready. That way I will still be lifting weights, but I need a spotter for the barbell routine. I will most likely start doing a short weight training routine prior to cardio when I go at lunchtime Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Last night I was feeling very restless. I think part of it is that we are watching "Lawrence of Arabia" - it's one of T's favorite movies and I've never seen it, so we rented it from Netflix. It's not bad, but it won't be a favorite and it's not really drawing me in. I wanted to eat (although I wasn't hungry). I limited myself to half an ounce of pork rinds. It's funny - when I was a kid we thought of those as a kind of "trashy", unhealthy snack!! Now they are commonly listed on low carb diets as a replacement for chips! LOL. Times have changed!

Anyway, things are going fine.

Take care.

Better

Yesterday went better. Breakfast worked fine, we ate our lunch and snacks (T actually brought home his Babybel cheeses), followed the diet, and ended the day by each having a half a gin and (diet) tonic! Lol. Yes, one shot of gin or vodka or one ultra light beer is permitted.

At lunch I went with my MIL to set her up for online banking, so I can help her pay her bills. She's been paying them by the "what are they threatening to turn off this month?" method. No bueno. So we got that taken care of.

We did round 1 of Lowe's with my mom, but are going back tomorrow. Tonight and Friday are weight training in the evening and cardio at lunch. We both have been pretty sore - we've made some significant increases on the weights we are lifting, so we are adding a few minutes in the hot tub, sauna, or steam room onto the end of our weight workout.

The teacher T works with is retiring at the end of the year - it was a surprise. So he's not sure if he wants to stay on there or look for another position somewhere else. Oh, and his job for the summer may have fallen through. :-(  Life!

In any case, things are going pretty well in our little corner of the world.

Take care.

Lessons learned

Here's a good one for today:

So yesterday.....  First off, on the list of foods (and let me tell you, this isn't the easiest to understand format she has) there is a category that says "extras (You may choose one of these foods with 2 meals).  That category contains the complex carbs (black beans, brown rice, whole grain wrap). Okay, this is a low carb diet - makes sense! And this isn't wacky or outrageous or anything.

So for breakfast T has a protein shake with yogurt and some fruit. not bad. I had a yogurt bowl with a VERY little bit of fruit (my frozen fruit was freezer burned and full of ice - yuck!). His breakfast was a little small but OK, mine was small. Then I only packed him 1 protein snack instead of 2. The upshot was we were both pretty miserable all day and hangry by dinner.  He stopped for a rotisserie chicken - we were so tired that's all we ate. So day 1 wasn't exactly a success.

Today I followed the guidelines of 2 protein servings (which meant 2 eggs, 1 slice of bacon, 1 ounce of cheese) in a low carb whole grain wrap. I'm working at home today, but I made sure to  pack a good lunch and 2 protein snacks plus a fruit in T's lunchbox.

Today is a rest day from the gym because we are going to mom's to help her buy the painting supplies for painting her house, so hopefully today will be a better day. We're still figuring this thing out, I figure we'll get into a groove and it'll be a lot easier.

Have a great day!