The Scale delievered my Reality Check

The good news is that I maintained since the last time I weighed 2 weeks ago. The bad news is that I had gained 5.5 pounds - this means that gain is genuine and now must be lost. Ugh. At least I know, I have a plan, and I have bounced back from bigger gains that this before. I have lost weight for 3 years now - appallingly slow, but I have posted a net loss every one of those years, and when I do gain some back, those gains get smaller as I get better at catching myself.

I won't lie - it's still frustrating to know how far I have to go given how long I've been at this.

Plans include: laying off the sauce for January - at least! A cup of soup with dinner every night this upcoming week. I'll make a batch of my own version of WW 0 point soup - chicekn broth, various veggies, a can of tomatoes, blended with my immersion blender to make it nice and thick. That should help with dinner time portion control.

Year In Review

It's that time of year to review the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good:
1) lost weight
2) completed triathlon
3) trained for marathon - got up to 18 miles before pesky injury ruined my plans!
4) won bench press competition
5) went down a size

The bad:
1) STILL not at goal weight
2) didn't do marathon

The ugly:
1) back fat - thank goodness that's nearly gone!

I weight tomorrow so I'll post then how the numbers break down. I have some goals for next year, including losing more weight, and setting a fitness goal (marathon attempt #2? 100 mile bike race?) I'll decide soon.....

Weather Makes a Difference

The weather has given me a break - warm (relatively) and sunny. I walked yesterday evening when I got home, and it was a pleasant 45 when I walked at 5:30 this morning. Gotta soak up some sunshine while it's available!

Eating yesterday was on track, as was exercise. Today I had a big salad with my pumpkin soup for lunch and used honey mustard dressing. I'd forgotten how much I like honey mustard - it's been a while. So that's my new dressing for now. Given a couple of decent dressings, I can be a salad eating fool! :-)

I just got an email from a friend, complaining about the fact that she sees others people's crap food and craves it, even though she knows it'll make her feel like dog poop. Boy can I relate to that! I know what my body does well on, yet still crave the garbage that makes it feel so bad. No logic there, just human nature I guess. But for today, I am eating well & feeling good.

What Wagon?

Wouldn't it be really cool if I could go for 48 hours of healthy eating? Why did I decide to drive by and see if our favorite Mexican place had opened back up? Why did I leave my comfy chair at 7:15 to drive out for cheese dip, chips, and beer? Sometimes I feel like such a loser, and I'm not talking about weight here people!!!!!!

The Best Breakfast Ever! And, The Chihuahua Oppression Society

I made the yummiest breakfast today! ½ c old fashioned oats - cooked, plus 1 T chopped pecans, 1/8 c maple & pecan granola, ½ a small box of raisins, a dash of sugar free pancake syrup, and milk. Wow! Who knew oatmeal could be so good?

I am dog sitting for my mom while she is out of town. Her dog Sheba (a llaso apso/daschund mix) is the mother of her dog Lulu and our dog Bess. Mom got Sheba from a student who was moving. Turns out she had gotten out just long enough for a romantic interlude with the neighborhood Chihuahua and she was pregnant when my mom got her. She is a wonderful dog, and little (maybe 15 pounds). Hre puppies were total cuties, and we got one, my MIL got one, and my mom kept one – we gave 2 others away). SO, I had my 2 big dogs, plus 3 little ones underfoot last night. I have dubbed them “the Chihuahua oppression society” because they will run around in a pack, all trying to sit in your lap at the same time! They were so funny, although getting off to work this morning was a pain!

I slept in this morning even though I went to bed at 9:30 – I forgot how tired you are after a really good weight lifting session! Last night was chest & back – oh my! Today I have walked from the first floor to the fourth & then back to the second every time I’ve gone to the cafeteria for water (I work on the first floor and the cafeteria is on the 2nd). I figured walking to the top & back down was a painless way to add in a little exercise. I also walked for 30 minutes with a co-worker. I am headed to the gym for some cardio tonight, but am going to hold off a day before I do more weights.

Food was pretty good yesterday:
B: oatmeal with granola, milk, pecans, and blueberries
S: 1 lowfat string cheese, carrots, & celery
L: pumpkin & black bean soup
S: broccoli casserole, 1 lowfat string cheese, a tangerine
S: 1 lowfat string cheese
D: Lean Cuisine chicken fried rice (with extra diced turkey breast), 2 c hot & sour soup, and I ate the D^%* crunchies the Chinese place gave me with the soup!

Exercise yesterday:
3 miles walk/run (mostly walk!)
weight lifting

Back to “Normal”

Or whatever passes for it in my family! :-) We had a very nice holiday – the usual stress of course, but also some very nice stuff. Like my mom giving me my grandmother’s wedding ring set (in the original box) which my granddad had given her when my mom was 9. I cried on that one!

I hit the gym a couple of times last week – going first thing on Thursday and Friday mornings. And I didn’t get too crazy with the food, thankfully.

But today is back to normal. I’m at work. My son is with his grandparents for the week and hubby is working out of town, so I get to indulge my inner gym rat and go to the gym every day. I made a big pot of homemade soup to eat for lunches, and dinners are Lean Cuisines with a side salad & some extra protein in the form of leftover turkey breast. I have my food all planned out, packaged, and as excuse free as I can make it.

Of course the meatball subs in the cafeteria looked good! But I have frozen turkey meatballs, some Newman’s Own pasta sauce I got on sale, and 2% mozzarella in the freezer. I’ll make my own Saturday night for dinner, and I bet they’ll be much better!

I plan to weigh on Friday so I can see how much I’ve lost this year (even single digits are progress). I got up this morning and went 3 miles – with some stretches of running thrown in there. I’ve been very slack on the running front, and it felt good! And I got to use the white fleece jacket and armband light my hubby got me for when I’m out before sun-up. I have such a great family! :-)

We are going to a party Friday night and I know I will indulge in crap food and alcohol. But I’m eating clean until then and getting right back to it after the party. I am very excited and focused and that feels so good!

Not Much to Report Here

Yesterday was fine food-wise, but exercise didn't happen. The boy & I made Christmas gifts together (home made soaps and Chai mix). I did get up and walk 3 miles this morning though. I'm off the next couple of days. Have a great holiday (whatever holiday you celbreate this time of year) to anyone who might be reading!

“I Can’t do Everything, but I do Everything I Can”

I had a strange exchange with my son in the car this morning on the way to school. He realized that he had forgotten his gloves. Without thinking, I handed him mine and told him he could use them (luckily they were plain grey gloves). He said “Thanks mom. It must be stressful, always making things right for me.” And I answered, “I’m your mom, that’s my job. I can’t do everything, but I do everything I can.” He is such a sweet child – sometimes I think I make my needs a little too known, and sometimes make him feel guilty for things he shouldn’t. He is so sensitive to my feelings, in a truly caring way.

Then I got to thinking about what I had said, and thought “Wouldn’t it be great if I could really apply that simple phrase to all areas of my life?” Think about it.

“I can’t do everything.” Accept that the house won’t be perfect 24/7, that the budget won’t always line up as well as I’d would like (but that doesn’t mean we’re headed for bankruptcy court!), and that I probably won’t be a world class athlete by the time I hit 40.

“I do everything I can.” Do I? DO I give 100% into whatever it is I am doing, whether it be a workout, or eating healthy, or walking the dog, or sitting on my butt watching a tivo-ed “Puppetmaster” horror flick? Do I enjoy the moments, and give it my best? Do I make choices that move me closer to my goals? Or are my goals not really goals at all – are they just day dreams? Which do I want them to be? Do my actions line up?

I know this won't happen all the time (I can't do everything!), but maybe I can move to being more conscious about the choices I make.

Weird Weekend

Overall, it was an odd weekend. I was super stressed Saturday, to the point that I cancelled my hair appointment because jusy thinking about going freaked me out. I felt like I was on the verge of an anxiety attack all day. Weird, and not good.

Sunday I felt better. I have decided a couple of things:

1) I have to figure out a way to get better (meaning, more stress relieving) cardio. I felt so much better when I was running a lot, even if I was incredibly slow. It was 9 degrees this morning, which is a little cold for running in this southern girl's book. But the gym doesn't cut it for me when it comes to stress relieving cardio. Gotta make a plan.

2) Gotta cut out the beer. I have mixed feelings about this one, but really - it's a lot of empty calories I don't need. It doesn't get me closer to what I want to be (in shape!) and besides, it makes me feel bad the next day. Even a little bit.

Glad I've Watched My Diet So Carefully!

Cause I'm up 1.5 pounds! Crap crap crap. Ugh!!!!!!!

Better to Cave a Little than a Lot

All the symptoms were there yesterday: fatigue, stress, and a sense of being deprived. Anyone who’s tried to lose a few knows where that deadly combination leads – to the food trough! (Moo!).

So, I tried to avert disaster by letting off the brakes just a little. I picked up the boy, and we used a coupon to have Mexican food. I ate chips & salsa. We split an order of cheese dip, I had a taco and a chicken enchilada, and lastly a nice big beer (22 oz!). I felt wonderful after. Then I went to the gym!

Last night was (sorta) leg night – with my gym time curtailed I’m trying to squeeze in weight training and some cardio in one session. So I did a little legs (3 sets each of smith squats and leg presses), followed by some low back and ab work. Then 20 minutes on the elliptical. So, a good workout!

Today I am back on track. We have a holiday lunch today (turkey etc). I plan to have white meat, green beans, dressing, and a small piece of the dessert I brought in (a crumb cake). I bought the box of crumb cake mix a couple of weeks back. When they asked people to bring in desserts, I figured it was the perfect excuse to get it out of the house! If I can’t lose weight, maybe I can fatten up my co-workers….. heh heh heh

Today I plan to walk at lunch and my mom is picking up the boy, so I am going to cruise by the gym for a little cardio. It was 19 degrees outside this morning. I’ll get up to walk the dog (the other big dog) tomorrow. But since I had a chance to hit the gym today, I decided to stay out of the cold.

Tomorrow I have a half day off to finish up a bit of last minute shopping. Then I’ll hit the gym, pick up my son, and we’ll go home and work on homemade gifts to go in our gift bags.

Wound A Little Tight

I am beginning to feel hints of stress around the fringes, but I’m keeping it together pretty well. I realized last night Fox’s tutor needs her gift tomorrow since he won’t see her again until the new year, and we haven’t made the chai mix yet (but we will tonight). House needs a quick 1 hour going over, which will happen tomorrow. Friday we will make soap. Gifts are almost all wrapped – it’s mostly just the house never got a good cleaning this weekend and all we’ve been doing this week is a holding action. I am a clean freak, I swear I’ve got mild OCD! Yesterday was a good day on the weight loss front, with food & exercise both good!

Food:
B: Oatmeal with chopped pecans (just a few!), soy eggnog, & cinnamon, 2 slicesof lowfat spam
S: 1 lowfat string cheese & celery & carrots
L: hamburger soup & a lowfat crescent roll
S: 1 lowfat string cheese & an apple & 1/2 a grapefruit
S2: slice of spam & half a roll (120 calories total)
D: chicken & spinach enchilada casserole
S: sugar free jello with lowfat cool whip

Exercise:
walked 3 miles in the morning, plus 30 min at lunch

This morning I only walked 1 mile because I walked our dog Butchie. He needs exercise too!

I am thinking that Friday night is going to involve beer & cheese dip. I know I know, but I figure if I plan it that’s better than letting this boil over. Plus I have some baked chips to keep it from being too hideous!

Was Your bed as Warm as Mine?

Oooh, it was so hard to get out of bed this morning! It was cold out, and snuggly warm in, and I had to hit the snooze twice before I talked myself out of the sheets! But I did it, and walked 3 miles in the frozen tundra that was our neighborhood. Okay, 28 might not seem that bad to some people, but it’s pretty cold for me!

As promised, I lifted weights last night. It was a pretty killer workout, so no cardio at the gym. I had done a 30 min walk at work, but that was it for cardio yesterday.

Back:
T-bar 25/12 35/10 40/8
Db row 30/12 30/12 40/8

Chest:
Db press 25/12 30/12 30/10
Inc press 25/12 25/10 30/10

Tri:
Overhead press 25/12 30/10
Dips 25/8 30/10 35/10

Bi:
Curl 20/12 20/9 25/6
Hammer curl 15/10 15/8

Shoulders:
Overhead press 15/12 20/10 25/8
Front raise 12.5/10 12.8/8
Lat raise 12.5/5 12.5/5

Those last two were alternated. Whew! After that, I sat in the sauna for a few minutes.

Food was also very good yesterday:

B: oatmeal & 2 slices lean spam
S: 1 lf string cheese, carrots & celery
L: hamburger soup & a lowfat crescent roll
S: apple, ½ a grapefruit, and a string cheese
D: low fat beef stew (made in crock pot!) and a crescent roll
S: apple “baked” in the microwave with some diet pepsi & oatmeal
Then covered in cinnamon and 1/3 c low cal vanilla ice cream

This morning, I got the boy to help and we did a quickie 15 minute clean-up – he did a “swipe & wipe” in the bathroom while I re-booted the dishes & laundry. It is so nice to know I am going home to a clean house and minimal chores.

I Am the Queen of Soup!

Weekend was way too hectic. But, my eating was improved. It went downhill last night, but even that wasn't as bad as its been. And I managed a walk, and good eating the rest of the time. I am feeling less puffy.

So, last week was lentil soup for lunch. This week is a ground beef soup my granddad used to make. He wasn't an expert cook, but once my grandmother's Alzheimer's got bad, he learned to cook so he could eat. :-) I figure soup and a veggie and roll is an excellent lunch, and satisfies my need for warm comforting food as winter begins to descend.

My son had a great time working at the warehouse helping with the gifts for kids in foster care. He asked if we could go back next year. I think it was a good experience for us both, and we had some good time together.

My granddad's soup

3 onions, chopped
1 lb lean ground beef
Brown these and place in crock pot. Add
46 oz can V8
2 cans cream of celery soup (I use low fat low sodium)
Cook for at least a couple of hours. That's it!


You can also add a block of frozen spinach or some diced celery, but that's the basics. Good, pretty healthy (better if you bulk it up with extra veggies) and comforting.

Reality Check Continues

Ran a couple of errands after work, got home & walked for 2 miles, then fixed a reasonable dinner. Ate a reasonable amount (only 1/4 c of the mashed potatoes) and did not have a cheesecake muffin.

This morning, I got up and walked 2 miles - and my husband went with me!!!! I am so happy - he hasn't been exercising for a while (since he started working out of town this summer) and his doctor told him he needs to. So I was very glad!

I am nervous - this week has been pretty good, and I've picked up steam as I've gone, including planning some good stuff for next week and lower calorie "treats" for the evening (120 cal ice cream sandwiches, sugarfree jello with ff cool whip, or a baked apple with some low cal ice cream. ) YUM! But it's Friday and we are taking the boy and a friend out for pizza. And making holidya cookies after. And no beer has passed these lips all week, but once Friday comes, its my duty as an American to support the large beer conglomerates.

I am doing good. I can do this. I have my meals planned for the weekend, with my "treat" meal tonight, but good stuff planned. I will be okay. I will be okay..

A Rude Awakening

So yesterday, at our holiday lunch, they were taking portraits. Our team had a picture made together (it's not online or I would share it). I look like a fat cow. I have to face reality. I have improved, but I'm not gonna get where I want eating mini cheesecake muffins every night, even if they are "only" muffin-sized.

Change of Plans

The good news is that I worked out last night, although I didn't lift weights. After 2 30 minute walks, I did 30 minutes on the bike at the gym, and then 20 on the stair master (which I had never used before). So that was pretty good. I need to start lifting more regularly, but I am still trying to get into a groove on that front. Cardio seems to be coming along.

The holiday meal wasn't too bad, althout I should have skipped the roll and not eaten as much of my dessert as it wasn't all that great. I had another of my cheesecake muffins last night. I'm starting to get tired of them.

What else? I was running late and wound up having a drive-thru breakfast: egg biscuit and diet Pepsi from Biscuitville. At 333 calories, that's not too bad for breakfast, although it isn't as healthy as I normally have. But it hardly blows the day out of the water or anything.

I had to come in early today, so no a.m. walk. My plan is to walk after lunch and then again this afternoon. If it is raining I will run to the gym and do the elliptical or something. I am not very good at the stair master - I was averaging around 350 calories per hour burned on that (I was at level 3 of 20). I average 400 calories per hour on the bike, and a little over 600 calories per hour on the elliptical. It feels like the most intense workout (I know those calorie measures aren't perfect) so it's my choice when time is limited.

Since I have two days a week I am at the gym for my son, I think I will create a 2 days split - upper one day and lower the next. I will be doing less for each body part, but its better than just floundering (like I am now). I love lifting, but I find it so easy to fall off any exercise routine, no matter how much I enjoy it.

Heading in the Right Direction

Yesterday was pretty good. I didn't get to the gym - well, I got there and realized I forgot to put my walkman in my gym bag. Cardio don't happen without a walkman. So, I picked up the boy, went home, and walked two miles. Plus, I had walked 30 minutes at lunch, so that's pretty good.

(My plan on the exercise is to walk 2 miles this week, 3 miles next week, and then start adding running back into the mix, but keep it at 3 in the mornings.)

Food was also pretty good. I had a cheesecake "muffin" (I made a no bake cheesecake in 12 muffin papers), and the boy & I went out to eat. I had ravioli at Fazoli's and 2 bread sticks. Dinner was planned, but the muffin wasn't, but still - not too bad.

I got up this morning and walked 2 miles. Today's challenge is a holiday lunch here at work. The good news is it is being prepared by the cafeteria, so it won't be so yummy that I just can't stop. Also, there's no seconds :-) You have to pre-select your meal from a choice of four - I opted for the south american cuisine - chipotle rubbed pork loin, blank beans and rice, and corn. Dinner is a lean turkey burger (grilled at home), some home baked fries, and a big salad. I plan to walk after lunch.

Weather is supposed to be beautiful and mid 60s. I am wearing candy cane earrings and a holiday t-shirt (Christmas in Hawaii - reindeer laying on the beach :-)

Have a good day!

Better

First, thanks for the good thoughts. I went home Friday and cried, cried, cried. Then I took a hot bath & went to bed. I got stuff done over the weekend, and yesterday, since I was home sick. The weekend was lousy - I basically wallowed in self pity, which I totally hate!

In any case, the hubster landed a real job! A job that not only pays pretty well, but a company that actually takes out taxes! So, they seem to consider him more permanent than these places that just work you for a little while then send you on your way with a 1099 and your taxes all out of whack. I have my fingers crossed, and my toes, and my boobs... :-)

I was feeling better last night and rode the bike for an hour while the son was in tae kwon do. I got up early to walk, but it was super nasty. So, I packed my gym bag and plan to leave work a half hour early so I can hit the elliptical for 30 minutes. I have to get back to exercising. It will make me feel better, and hopefully my pants will start fitting better too!

Hubby is out of town, but will be coming home tonight or tomorrow. The company does restorations, and they are doing the chancellor's residence of the university here in town. So he'll be working on that. We still need the $ the other guy owes him, so keep your fingers crossed on that one!

Crap Crap Crap

So, hubby calls me after work to let me know he is on the way home. Basically, they ran out of supplies at the job he was working on. The boss was supposed to come down earlier in the week to bring more stuff and/ or go to Lowe’s. Instead he never calls and never shows. Finally he hears from the guy around 8 last night. In a nutshell, he has no money for material or to pay them. He owes my husband for two weeks of work – roughly $1600. Yeah, we kinda need that money.

In related news, I am up another 1.5 pounds – for a total holiday weight gain (so far) of 4 pounds! This sucks.

I'm sure this is the most inspiring weight loss journal ever created.

Climbing Out of the (Diet) Pit of Despair

Food -wise, I give yesterday a "scary" on a scale of 1 to 10. Not that any binges occurred, but I wound up booking 2 "heavy" meals on the same day. I was taken out to lunch as a thank you for some charity work (to the Ch0p H0use). I had a couple of bites of the apps - calamari with a fab asian sesame sauce and 3 oysters rockefeller. Then grilled salmon in a pathetic attempt to offset 2 decadent sides: fettucine alfredo and creamed spinach. Luckily nice restaurants give you great food instead of huge portions. I enjoyed every bite and had no guilt, but then ate a knockwurst for dinner (280 cals) plus 2 beers. I seriously doubt my 30 minutes on the bike offset all that! :-O Luckily today is 2 light meals!

Also, I got up for a 2 mile walk this morning, and did a 20 minute walk at lunch.

Random observations:

I had never done the exercise bike before - I used the one that is more like a real bike so the motion was up and down versus the recumbant. Pretty good workout, although I should have upped the intensity.

I only did 30 minutes because I wanted to go call my mom without my son around (he was in tae kwon do). He broke down in tears before we left the house saying he didn't feel like going. They have another belt test coming up in 2 1/2 weeks and he gets major performance anxiety. I tried to reassure him that he had plenty of time to prepare and that hubby would help him practice his forms. He finally cleaned up & we went - he felt better after that so I am glad we went. I don't want to push him into activities, but I don't want him to let insecurity hold him back from things he wants to do either.