Long day at work and I'm pooped. Signed up for water aerobics for April. :-)
Had a good session with the counselor. My homework is to make a bucket list - both long and near term. I haven't spent a lot of time of thinking about things I want to do, so it'll be an interesting.
Sorry I don't have a lot to say. But I'm still here. :-)
Take care.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Sunday, March 29, 2015
Can we not catch a break?
My grandpuppy tore her ACL yesterday. Surgery is $3600. Can we not catch a financial break in this family??? Please!?!?
Got 2 walls painted (that was my plan). I'll paint the other 2 walls next weekend. Went to class at my friend's church this morning, cooked, ran a couple of errands with my son, enjoyed the pretty day. Cold, but pretty.
Can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow. I may take a day off next month near my birthday. We'll see.
Take care & enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Got 2 walls painted (that was my plan). I'll paint the other 2 walls next weekend. Went to class at my friend's church this morning, cooked, ran a couple of errands with my son, enjoyed the pretty day. Cold, but pretty.
Can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow. I may take a day off next month near my birthday. We'll see.
Take care & enjoy the rest of your weekend!
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Holy frijole!
I don't mean to go so long between posting. I just come home and either go to my class at my friend's church or read a book - I don't spend a lot of time at the computer!
I gained 1.8 pounds this week. Yeah. Time to cut beer & diet pepsi out of the diet. Again. Le sigh.
Cross Fit workout this morning was excellent We did bench press and some variations. And squat and front raise. And worked on pull ups. My jump rope is getting better.
I plan to start painting my room today.
I still feel sad, but I'm doing the basics - cooking, eating, sleeping, going to work. I guess for 3 weeks out that's pretty good.
Take care.
I gained 1.8 pounds this week. Yeah. Time to cut beer & diet pepsi out of the diet. Again. Le sigh.
Cross Fit workout this morning was excellent We did bench press and some variations. And squat and front raise. And worked on pull ups. My jump rope is getting better.
I plan to start painting my room today.
I still feel sad, but I'm doing the basics - cooking, eating, sleeping, going to work. I guess for 3 weeks out that's pretty good.
Take care.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Better news
Took the car to my friend's mechanic. It's going to be about half what the other place told us, so that's very good news!
My mood is just very "blah" this week. I guess that's to be expected. I don't like it, but I guess that's perfectly normal, all things considered.
Went & bought paint for room. Weather isn't going to be great, but I plan to start painting this weekend. Starting the class through my friend's church tonight. It's less about the class (although I hope it will be good) and more about getting out of the house.
Anyway, I keep trudging forward. I want to do more, I need to do more, I feel like many things are in a holding pattern. But I'm not quite to a place where I can take action. Well, I'm not going backward!
Take care.
My mood is just very "blah" this week. I guess that's to be expected. I don't like it, but I guess that's perfectly normal, all things considered.
Went & bought paint for room. Weather isn't going to be great, but I plan to start painting this weekend. Starting the class through my friend's church tonight. It's less about the class (although I hope it will be good) and more about getting out of the house.
Anyway, I keep trudging forward. I want to do more, I need to do more, I feel like many things are in a holding pattern. But I'm not quite to a place where I can take action. Well, I'm not going backward!
Take care.
Monday, March 23, 2015
Eh
So, we took my son's car in to the shop. It needs work - a lot of it. Enough that we're not sure yet whether it's worth doing. :-(
We paid $4000 for the car last spring and it's had overheating problems. We've taken it in a couple of times, but yesterday the place said they think the head gasket is warped. ?? We took it today to a friend's trusted mechanic for a 2nd valuation and some advice. I can't afford to throw away a car. I can't afford a new (used) one. Heck, it'll be tight to get it fixed - if it's worth it. :-(
Really???
We paid $4000 for the car last spring and it's had overheating problems. We've taken it in a couple of times, but yesterday the place said they think the head gasket is warped. ?? We took it today to a friend's trusted mechanic for a 2nd valuation and some advice. I can't afford to throw away a car. I can't afford a new (used) one. Heck, it'll be tight to get it fixed - if it's worth it. :-(
Really???
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Thanks, and busy day
First of all, I want to say thanks to all of you that are taking time to comment. Everyone appreciates comments, but now they are particularly meaningful as the extra amount of support and friendship really means a lot.
Last night the boy got home, announced that he had been eating "like a refugee" and proceeded to eat 2 HUGE burritos and all the trimmings, followed by a couple of snack size Snickers while we warmed up a couple of slices of pecan pie left over from his birthday.
This morning he and I met a friend for breakfast at a local country breakfast place. He actually brought some food home - I was amazed. It was a terrific visit, and now I'm busy food prepping for my bottomless pit! :-)
He and mom rode down to the coast to check on his boat and pick up some stuff. I've been left in charge of food prep. So between my food for the week, a couple of dinners, and his food it's an all day thing! But that's okay, I'm listening to tv, taking breaks as needed, and I have the windows open!
I hope you have a good day.
Take care!
Last night the boy got home, announced that he had been eating "like a refugee" and proceeded to eat 2 HUGE burritos and all the trimmings, followed by a couple of snack size Snickers while we warmed up a couple of slices of pecan pie left over from his birthday.
This morning he and I met a friend for breakfast at a local country breakfast place. He actually brought some food home - I was amazed. It was a terrific visit, and now I'm busy food prepping for my bottomless pit! :-)
He and mom rode down to the coast to check on his boat and pick up some stuff. I've been left in charge of food prep. So between my food for the week, a couple of dinners, and his food it's an all day thing! But that's okay, I'm listening to tv, taking breaks as needed, and I have the windows open!
I hope you have a good day.
Take care!
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Not what I wanted, but exactly what I needed
Hey there.
I didn't mean to go so long between posts, I've just been kinda "blah" this week. I was down 1.6 pounds (I have no idea how). Sleep has been gradually improving, but my energy has felt low.
Last night was kinda the pinnacle - I was beaten down, tired, and .. tired. I decided I was NOT going to Cross Fit this morning and I set my alarm for 7:15 to call in sick (my session starts at 7:30). I woke up at 6 and drowsed until 6:45. I felt pretty good. I got up and ate a light snack - and felt pretty good. I drove to the gym, muttering about turning around until there it was and I turned in.
I didn't want to go. I felt so far out of my comfort zone. You know what happened, right? I had a wonderful workout. I did dead lifts - and blew them away. I learned front squats - and blew them away. I learned thrusters (a sort of front squat followed by a press) and those went well. I did a conditioning assessment - 500 m row, 25 thrusters, 10 ring pull ups (assisted). The trainer said I did really well. Oh, and he gave me a t-shirt for getting my first stitches. :-)
Today I am cleaning, getting my paint stuff together, and doing food prep. I feel better than I have all week.
My son is coming home tonight and then either driving on to the coast or spending the night and heading out tomorrow. So that'll be nice.
It's a sunny day. Tomorrow I plan to take a walk in the park, meet a friend for breakfast, and continue on with chores. I hope you have a great weekend!
Take care.
I didn't mean to go so long between posts, I've just been kinda "blah" this week. I was down 1.6 pounds (I have no idea how). Sleep has been gradually improving, but my energy has felt low.
Last night was kinda the pinnacle - I was beaten down, tired, and .. tired. I decided I was NOT going to Cross Fit this morning and I set my alarm for 7:15 to call in sick (my session starts at 7:30). I woke up at 6 and drowsed until 6:45. I felt pretty good. I got up and ate a light snack - and felt pretty good. I drove to the gym, muttering about turning around until there it was and I turned in.
I didn't want to go. I felt so far out of my comfort zone. You know what happened, right? I had a wonderful workout. I did dead lifts - and blew them away. I learned front squats - and blew them away. I learned thrusters (a sort of front squat followed by a press) and those went well. I did a conditioning assessment - 500 m row, 25 thrusters, 10 ring pull ups (assisted). The trainer said I did really well. Oh, and he gave me a t-shirt for getting my first stitches. :-)
Today I am cleaning, getting my paint stuff together, and doing food prep. I feel better than I have all week.
My son is coming home tonight and then either driving on to the coast or spending the night and heading out tomorrow. So that'll be nice.
It's a sunny day. Tomorrow I plan to take a walk in the park, meet a friend for breakfast, and continue on with chores. I hope you have a great weekend!
Take care.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Too pooped to pop
I'm tired y'all.
My counseling session was an intake interview, so a lot of questions about history, what brought me in, what I want to get out of counseling - that sort of thing. I have another session in 2 weeks. I figure every 2 weeks is a pretty good frequency.
My stitches are tender today, which I guess isn't surprising. I think I didn't sleep well - I wasn't up or anything, but I suspect I kind of woke myself up when I would bonk it. I'm really tired today and came home and immediately took a nap. Highly unusual!
Tomorrow is a long day at work. Mostly I'm just looking forward to the weekend. not sure if I will start painting or just start getting stuff together. We'll see.
Anyway, I'm tired but doing okay. Take care.
My counseling session was an intake interview, so a lot of questions about history, what brought me in, what I want to get out of counseling - that sort of thing. I have another session in 2 weeks. I figure every 2 weeks is a pretty good frequency.
My stitches are tender today, which I guess isn't surprising. I think I didn't sleep well - I wasn't up or anything, but I suspect I kind of woke myself up when I would bonk it. I'm really tired today and came home and immediately took a nap. Highly unusual!
Tomorrow is a long day at work. Mostly I'm just looking forward to the weekend. not sure if I will start painting or just start getting stuff together. We'll see.
Anyway, I'm tired but doing okay. Take care.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Not much
I'm pretty pooped - it was a long day at work.
Tomorrow I have my first counseling session and I get stitches. Plus, you know, work.
Anyway, here is a link I thought I would share for some really great food ideas: http://news.distractify.com/beth-buczynski/the-ol-switcheroo/?ts_pid=2
Take care!
Tomorrow I have my first counseling session and I get stitches. Plus, you know, work.
Anyway, here is a link I thought I would share for some really great food ideas: http://news.distractify.com/beth-buczynski/the-ol-switcheroo/?ts_pid=2
Take care!
Sunday, March 15, 2015
What an interesting weekend
You guys, I really had a moment yesterday.
Another sleepless night Friday. Got up and went to Cross Fit. I was really pushing myself hard - the workouts are tough. It was waaaay out of my comfort zone. Then I cut my arm - really badly (stitches, tetanus shot, antibiotic bad). I just had a freak out moment - I thought I was going to either have an anxiety attack or burst out in tears (or both).
I was thinking "What am I doing? Why do I think I can do this? I can't handle all these things!" It was about the workout - and about work and looking for a house and being on my own and not knowing what I want to do. But here's the thing: If I can build my confidence in the gym, maybe it will spill over into other areas of my life.
The trainer cleaned it up, slapped a bandage on it, and I finished the workout.
I had lunch with my friend K - who is just an awesome, independent woman. We had lunch (Honduran), wandered around a book store, then met up with some other friends for dinner & beers & hanging out. I spent the night in Durham and came home this morning.
Got my spark plugs changed, laundry done, prepped food, painted some swatches of paint on the wall. I like the color!
I'm not ready for another week, but there ya go.
Take care.
Another sleepless night Friday. Got up and went to Cross Fit. I was really pushing myself hard - the workouts are tough. It was waaaay out of my comfort zone. Then I cut my arm - really badly (stitches, tetanus shot, antibiotic bad). I just had a freak out moment - I thought I was going to either have an anxiety attack or burst out in tears (or both).
I was thinking "What am I doing? Why do I think I can do this? I can't handle all these things!" It was about the workout - and about work and looking for a house and being on my own and not knowing what I want to do. But here's the thing: If I can build my confidence in the gym, maybe it will spill over into other areas of my life.
The trainer cleaned it up, slapped a bandage on it, and I finished the workout.
I had lunch with my friend K - who is just an awesome, independent woman. We had lunch (Honduran), wandered around a book store, then met up with some other friends for dinner & beers & hanging out. I spent the night in Durham and came home this morning.
Got my spark plugs changed, laundry done, prepped food, painted some swatches of paint on the wall. I like the color!
I'm not ready for another week, but there ya go.
Take care.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Yay for Friday!
Well, the "bad" thing is I woke up at 4 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. !?!?! I finally gave up and got up early.
Work was busy and the time went quickly. Went for my annual physical at the new doctor here. I like her! I talked to her about going back on my anxiety med, which she totally understood. What I take a a very low dose of a daily medication. I didn't want Xanax or anything like that - I prefer this.
After that I had lunch (I was hungry because I had to fast), came home for a nap, then went to Costc0 for gas, prescriptions, and a few grocery items.
My son is having to work 7 days a week for a stretch - ugh! Half day Sunday, but still. He is coming home this evening. I made him up a batch of beef stew to take back.
His work is crazy, but he seems to be doing really well - I am SO glad. It's hard when your kids leave the nest but haven't yet found their direction. I can't say he's found it yet, but he seems to be doing a lot better in terms of being independent and mature for now.
I guess I'm in kind of a numb/ limbo stage. I just have so much uncertainty about the future in so many ways, I'm just not really thinking about it too much.
I would say this week was a fail in the workout department - cross fit, one session on the elliptical, one walk in the park. Food was 50/50 - fine during the day but definitely too much after dinner grazing + beer - which is the worst for my weight!! Weight was the same this week.
If I don't post tomorrow I will be back on Sunday.
Have a good weekend!
Work was busy and the time went quickly. Went for my annual physical at the new doctor here. I like her! I talked to her about going back on my anxiety med, which she totally understood. What I take a a very low dose of a daily medication. I didn't want Xanax or anything like that - I prefer this.
After that I had lunch (I was hungry because I had to fast), came home for a nap, then went to Costc0 for gas, prescriptions, and a few grocery items.
My son is having to work 7 days a week for a stretch - ugh! Half day Sunday, but still. He is coming home this evening. I made him up a batch of beef stew to take back.
His work is crazy, but he seems to be doing really well - I am SO glad. It's hard when your kids leave the nest but haven't yet found their direction. I can't say he's found it yet, but he seems to be doing a lot better in terms of being independent and mature for now.
I guess I'm in kind of a numb/ limbo stage. I just have so much uncertainty about the future in so many ways, I'm just not really thinking about it too much.
I would say this week was a fail in the workout department - cross fit, one session on the elliptical, one walk in the park. Food was 50/50 - fine during the day but definitely too much after dinner grazing + beer - which is the worst for my weight!! Weight was the same this week.
If I don't post tomorrow I will be back on Sunday.
Have a good weekend!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Sunny & Warm
The weather here is lovely, so after I got home mom and I went for a walk in the park. It's a lovely day.
I am feeling better again today. It's funny, after work I went to get my annual mammogram. I felt good about going, knowing I was doing something to take care of myself. Yeah, getting a mammogram left me in a good mood. Weird, huh? :-)
Anyway, it was a pretty good day. Tomorrow I am working a half day (I worked longer days earlier in the week). I have my annual physical at 12:30.
Plans for Saturday have morphed to me staying over in Durham through Saturday night. No idea what we're doing, but it'll be fun. :-)
Have a nice evening!
I am feeling better again today. It's funny, after work I went to get my annual mammogram. I felt good about going, knowing I was doing something to take care of myself. Yeah, getting a mammogram left me in a good mood. Weird, huh? :-)
Anyway, it was a pretty good day. Tomorrow I am working a half day (I worked longer days earlier in the week). I have my annual physical at 12:30.
Plans for Saturday have morphed to me staying over in Durham through Saturday night. No idea what we're doing, but it'll be fun. :-)
Have a nice evening!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Today was better again
Even though I didn't sleep well, today was better at work. The sadness wasn't as oppressive.
I ordered a print to go in my bedroom from art dot com:
Here is a room that is a bit of an inspiration:
The plan is to have pale pink walls, tan curtains and blanket. I have a wood headboard mom picked up at the thrift shop today for $15. If the wood doesn't look good I can cover it with fabric. The accent color will be splashes of aqua in place of the coral. I love aqua and have a lovely vintage lamp in the room - but I wanted something fresh and new - a color scheme I haven't used before. The tan replaces my old grey. The room should be warm but restful. I'll post pics when its done.
I'm meeting a couple of girlfriends for lunch in Durham Saturday, including one of my best friends - the one that lives in Raleigh (Kay). I also have another session of cross fit.
So things to look forward to this weekend.
I am exhausted and am skipping the gym tonight. I packed my food today, ate a reasonable and healthy dinner, and am giving myself permission to take the night off. Tomorrow evening I have my mammogram, Friday I leave work early for my annual physical. After that its off to the gym - so I'll get in 4 workouts this week. Not the best but not too shabby.
Thank you for your comments - I really appreciate it. It really helps just to have friends reaching out - and I count you among my friends. :-)
Take care!
I ordered a print to go in my bedroom from art dot com:
Here is a room that is a bit of an inspiration:
The plan is to have pale pink walls, tan curtains and blanket. I have a wood headboard mom picked up at the thrift shop today for $15. If the wood doesn't look good I can cover it with fabric. The accent color will be splashes of aqua in place of the coral. I love aqua and have a lovely vintage lamp in the room - but I wanted something fresh and new - a color scheme I haven't used before. The tan replaces my old grey. The room should be warm but restful. I'll post pics when its done.
I'm meeting a couple of girlfriends for lunch in Durham Saturday, including one of my best friends - the one that lives in Raleigh (Kay). I also have another session of cross fit.
So things to look forward to this weekend.
I am exhausted and am skipping the gym tonight. I packed my food today, ate a reasonable and healthy dinner, and am giving myself permission to take the night off. Tomorrow evening I have my mammogram, Friday I leave work early for my annual physical. After that its off to the gym - so I'll get in 4 workouts this week. Not the best but not too shabby.
Thank you for your comments - I really appreciate it. It really helps just to have friends reaching out - and I count you among my friends. :-)
Take care!
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Today was not a good day
I was at work for 10 hours. I'm tired, it was a long day, and the numbness seems to be taking a break. It's replaced with overwhelming sadness.
Gwen has posted a couple of good articles about perfectionism. I wanted to do this perfectly. A couple of days of sad, followed by noble loneliness, going to therapy, doing my time in self reflection time out - and coming out the other side, thin, mellow like the Dalai Lama, and ready to move on.
Like most things in life, grief isn't linear. So today I am back to sad. After dinner I picked up curtains and a sample of paint for the new bedroom. Then I went to the grocery for beer and salami.
I'll get back on the horse tomorrow. Maybe therapy will help with this d*&^ need to do everything "perfectly" - even failure.
Take care.
Gwen has posted a couple of good articles about perfectionism. I wanted to do this perfectly. A couple of days of sad, followed by noble loneliness, going to therapy, doing my time in self reflection time out - and coming out the other side, thin, mellow like the Dalai Lama, and ready to move on.
Like most things in life, grief isn't linear. So today I am back to sad. After dinner I picked up curtains and a sample of paint for the new bedroom. Then I went to the grocery for beer and salami.
I'll get back on the horse tomorrow. Maybe therapy will help with this d*&^ need to do everything "perfectly" - even failure.
Take care.
Monday, March 09, 2015
Back to work
So, it was a pretty long day at work today, but it was okay. I told my boss what is going on - I will be having some counseling sessions and will need to flex my work schedule somewhat, so I needed to let her know.
It was in the 60s today so I wore sandals to show off my new pedicure. :-)
I came home, ate some supper, and went to the gym. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I need to finish entering my food and exercise into Sparkpeople.
Have a good evening!
It was in the 60s today so I wore sandals to show off my new pedicure. :-)
I came home, ate some supper, and went to the gym. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I need to finish entering my food and exercise into Sparkpeople.
Have a good evening!
Sunday, March 08, 2015
Busy weekend so far
Yesterday I went to lunch and got a pedicure with an old friend - that was nice.
When my son got home I told him that we had mutually decided to separate. He's mad and feels like his mom has been "done wrong", but I calmed him down as much as possible and we had a good talk about it. I know he is going to be hurt as well - B has been his step-dad since he was 6.
I got the car washed and did a couple of other things before making us all a nice supper. I've been working on keeping my food in check - healthy stuff with plenty of vegetables. The last beer was consumed Friday and I don't plan to buy any more for a while. My stomach is kind of upset, but I think it's stress.
Today we've run more errands - I met with another friend for a couple of errands with her as well.
The weather is lovely so we've had windows open enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.
I had bought a wallet for myself for my birthday and tucked it away. I pulled it out AND I bought myself a purse today (of all the places I looked, I found one I liked at W-M, go figure!). So I have a new purse and wallet, and a paint chip I want to get a paint sample of for painting my bedroom. I looked for curtains, but no luck.
My back is a bit sore from Cross Fit but that's it. I was hoping to get in a walk in the park but that's gonna be a no go - we have to follow the boy up to Eden (1 hour 1 way) in my mom's car. His uncle's house doesn't have a bed - we pulled one out of storage for him. Oh well - today will be my day off and I will make sure I get a workout in every day this week.
In short: I'm keeping busy - touching base with friends, accomplishing things. Evenings are hard. I slept better last night, that helped too.
Thank you for your good thoughts. Take care.
When my son got home I told him that we had mutually decided to separate. He's mad and feels like his mom has been "done wrong", but I calmed him down as much as possible and we had a good talk about it. I know he is going to be hurt as well - B has been his step-dad since he was 6.
I got the car washed and did a couple of other things before making us all a nice supper. I've been working on keeping my food in check - healthy stuff with plenty of vegetables. The last beer was consumed Friday and I don't plan to buy any more for a while. My stomach is kind of upset, but I think it's stress.
Today we've run more errands - I met with another friend for a couple of errands with her as well.
The weather is lovely so we've had windows open enjoying the fresh air and sunshine.
I had bought a wallet for myself for my birthday and tucked it away. I pulled it out AND I bought myself a purse today (of all the places I looked, I found one I liked at W-M, go figure!). So I have a new purse and wallet, and a paint chip I want to get a paint sample of for painting my bedroom. I looked for curtains, but no luck.
My back is a bit sore from Cross Fit but that's it. I was hoping to get in a walk in the park but that's gonna be a no go - we have to follow the boy up to Eden (1 hour 1 way) in my mom's car. His uncle's house doesn't have a bed - we pulled one out of storage for him. Oh well - today will be my day off and I will make sure I get a workout in every day this week.
In short: I'm keeping busy - touching base with friends, accomplishing things. Evenings are hard. I slept better last night, that helped too.
Thank you for your good thoughts. Take care.
Saturday, March 07, 2015
Finnegan Begin ... again
Good morning.
Yesterday was hard. I love my husband, and splitting up is hard. But there is also the fact that I genuinely enjoy being married - being part of a team. I'm going to miss that. I'll be 49 next month. The idea of starting over is daunting.
This all happened Thursday evening. Yesterday I just let myself be a mess. I haven't slept for crap the past couple of nights either, so that doesn't help.
Like I said - I made myself some appointments and plans. My son will be home this evening and I don't want him to see me all crying into my beer and sobbing like a 15 year old. I will be honest, but I don't want him to freak out. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't want to stay in the "hysterical mess" phase. :-)
I went to Cross Fit this morning. The first 6 sessions are a combination of assessment and teaching proper form. It was tough - but I enjoyed it.
I've also decided to rearrange and paint the bedroom here. I have some new bedding and I'd like to maybe look for a headboard. That'll be nice.
My mantra right now is to make no major decisions for the next 6 months. No joining the peace corps, taking up with somebody, spending a bunch of money, etc. Just let it be. My husband bought a car yesterday. Yeah.
So I guess this blog will change a bit in that my focus will be more about my overall well being - to include fitness and weight loss. I'm not giving up on myself just because he did. I'm sure there will be bumps in the journey. But I have to take this time now to love and care for myself. Then hopefully down the road I'll be ready to begin again with someone special.
Yesterday was hard. I love my husband, and splitting up is hard. But there is also the fact that I genuinely enjoy being married - being part of a team. I'm going to miss that. I'll be 49 next month. The idea of starting over is daunting.
This all happened Thursday evening. Yesterday I just let myself be a mess. I haven't slept for crap the past couple of nights either, so that doesn't help.
Like I said - I made myself some appointments and plans. My son will be home this evening and I don't want him to see me all crying into my beer and sobbing like a 15 year old. I will be honest, but I don't want him to freak out. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't want to stay in the "hysterical mess" phase. :-)
I went to Cross Fit this morning. The first 6 sessions are a combination of assessment and teaching proper form. It was tough - but I enjoyed it.
I've also decided to rearrange and paint the bedroom here. I have some new bedding and I'd like to maybe look for a headboard. That'll be nice.
My mantra right now is to make no major decisions for the next 6 months. No joining the peace corps, taking up with somebody, spending a bunch of money, etc. Just let it be. My husband bought a car yesterday. Yeah.
So I guess this blog will change a bit in that my focus will be more about my overall well being - to include fitness and weight loss. I'm not giving up on myself just because he did. I'm sure there will be bumps in the journey. But I have to take this time now to love and care for myself. Then hopefully down the road I'll be ready to begin again with someone special.
Friday, March 06, 2015
Just so sad
Today has been a pretty terrible day. I am just so sad.
I have done a couple of things though: I have a doctor appt next week (I am going to ask to go back on my anxiety medication), I have an appt for a mammogram (overdue), and I have an appt with a counselor.
Tomorrow morning is my first evaluation & training session at the cross fit gym. I have signed up for a study class through my friend's church. I have made plans to see a friend next weekend. I have messaged with a couple of friends.
I did finally manage yoga pants, but only to go to the grocery for beer & pimento cheese. I know. I just don't have the fortitude right now to do much more than cry and say "I am so sad."
I know I will be okay. It will take a while (15 years is a long time). I will be okay.
Take care.
I have done a couple of things though: I have a doctor appt next week (I am going to ask to go back on my anxiety medication), I have an appt for a mammogram (overdue), and I have an appt with a counselor.
Tomorrow morning is my first evaluation & training session at the cross fit gym. I have signed up for a study class through my friend's church. I have made plans to see a friend next weekend. I have messaged with a couple of friends.
I did finally manage yoga pants, but only to go to the grocery for beer & pimento cheese. I know. I just don't have the fortitude right now to do much more than cry and say "I am so sad."
I know I will be okay. It will take a while (15 years is a long time). I will be okay.
Take care.
Thursday, March 05, 2015
Well
So, I was hoping it wasn't too late, but ... yeah.
After 15 years, my husband and I are splitting up. I hope you'll forgive me if the number on the scale isn't my highest priority just now.
After 15 years, my husband and I are splitting up. I hope you'll forgive me if the number on the scale isn't my highest priority just now.
Wednesday, March 04, 2015
Today
So today was a pretty good day!
For one, the weather was really nice - 72 degrees! I went to the gym for what had to be the lamest workout ever. Not because I wasn't motivated, my back was just really sore. Last night's class was good but we did a bunch of moves I don't typically do, and A LOT of them. So I did what I could and called it an evening.
I don't know if I mentioned, my son started a job Monday. He is liking it pretty well, it's hard work and 60 hours a week. But it pays well and his uncle (my younger step brother) is working there too. I'm really proud of him for working hard and being so independent.
I got a new book yesterday. One of my favorite authors (Patricia Briggs) just released a new book, which I had pre ordered on Amazon. I really enjoy her books, so that was a nice thing.
My husband and I have special plans for this weekend. Living with my mom has been tough on our relationship just because we don't have a lot of time for just the two of us. So yay!
My mom took me out to supper tonight - she knows I've been kind of down and thought that would be a nice treat. We tried a new to us Italian place - I got eggplant parm with a salad. Not a low cal meal, but low carb. It was yummy.
We may get snow tomorrow - crazy!!!
Have a good evening! Take care.
For one, the weather was really nice - 72 degrees! I went to the gym for what had to be the lamest workout ever. Not because I wasn't motivated, my back was just really sore. Last night's class was good but we did a bunch of moves I don't typically do, and A LOT of them. So I did what I could and called it an evening.
I don't know if I mentioned, my son started a job Monday. He is liking it pretty well, it's hard work and 60 hours a week. But it pays well and his uncle (my younger step brother) is working there too. I'm really proud of him for working hard and being so independent.
I got a new book yesterday. One of my favorite authors (Patricia Briggs) just released a new book, which I had pre ordered on Amazon. I really enjoy her books, so that was a nice thing.
My husband and I have special plans for this weekend. Living with my mom has been tough on our relationship just because we don't have a lot of time for just the two of us. So yay!
My mom took me out to supper tonight - she knows I've been kind of down and thought that would be a nice treat. We tried a new to us Italian place - I got eggplant parm with a salad. Not a low cal meal, but low carb. It was yummy.
We may get snow tomorrow - crazy!!!
Have a good evening! Take care.
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