Turning around my stinkin thinkin

I posted a comment on this blog today.  The lady was talking about giving up weighing her food - letting go of that kind of behavior.  Here is the comment I left:

"I can so relate to this. You know the saying: "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" For me, I get so caught up in the precision of my measurements and act like that is SO important, failing to notice the "log" - like the chips I ate! Fretting over the minutiae lets me ignore the larger issues."

I have a masters in applied statistics (economics specifically).  I am a project manager by profession.  I plan, create scopes, build flows, chart milestones.

I like to organize things.  I'm great at making plans.  But here's the thing: doing all that planning and goal setting lets me focus on where I want to be.  Sounds like a vital part of achieving your goals - setting them, right?

But what happens when you are so busy on seeing where you want to go that you pay absolutely no attention to the road!  Yes, you have to know where you are going, but you need to check where you are as well.  You might trip on a rock!

Okay, enough analogy - I think you get my point.  Worrying about what I'll weigh on my birthday gets me off the hook for skipping the gym tonight, after all, there's plenty of time between now & my birthday!

And there's another issue at work here as well.  I've written about the fact that right now there are many circumstances in my life which are challenging: we can't buy a house until we've sold the one in Florida, I am working a contract (temp) job, etc.  I've been so focused on where I want to be, and am not even appreciating what is going on right now.  I'm treating the present like an unpleasant waiting room I want to get out of as quickly as possible!

Wishing your life away, distancing yourself from the present - is unhealthy.  I've written about this before, and I've been trying, but I don't seem to be able to address this situation alone.  I'm going to investigate getting some counseling.  I know healthy foods and exercise help, but I feel like I need a little help to achieve escape velocity.  I'm not gaining weight, but my loss seems to have stalled out.  More importantly, I feel like I've stalled out emotionally.

So that's where I am right now.

Thanks for reading - be well. :-)