Some things concerning me today

Have you heard about the Consumer Products Safety Improvement Act which goes into effect in a couple of months? What does it do? In short, makes homemade toys, clothing & other products illegal. If you want to sell them anyway. Read more here.
http://thebabygardner.com/blog/2008/12/11/love-handmade-a-call-to-action-for-all-of-us/

Wow. Look what happens when folks aren't looking. It's enough to make you paranoid.

In other news, my MIL got fired from her job. Apparently, the boss wants to give the job to his girlfriend. But that's a post for another day.......

Pretty good

I had a pretty good weekend. Hub had to work, and we didn’t get to go out on a date. I got loads done – shopping, cleaning, cooking, decorating. Today is supposed to be the last of the long hours for him. Exercise remains a memory. Food-wise, some days are better than others. I’m okay with that for now. With the boy out of school (and going with his grandpa for a few days), I may try going by the gym on the way home from work next week. OTOH, I am embarrassed by how I would look in shorts on the elliptical. Yes, I feel too fat to be seen at the gym. How sad is that?

Anyway, there is a lot of work & introspection needed, but right now I can’t focus on it. I’m just trying to enjoy the holiday, appreciate the blessings we have, and take care of the things I need to get done. I don’t mean to sound depressed or anything (I’m not), I just mean I’m okay with the fact that things have been crazy and that now isn’t the time to try to change my routine.

I’ve always been crazy, but it’s kept me from going insane

This week has been nutso. Monday and Tuesday, hub worked until 11 pm. For the record, he starts work at 7 AM. Wednesday he had the day off (to catch up on sleep and avoid a psychotic episode). That afternoon we were thankfully able to get the shopping done for the boy. He ONLY worked until 8 last night. He does have to work this weekend. He is going to try to get of work early enough on Saturday so we can go out to eat. At a restaurant. Wearing clean clothes. Hopefully he won’t fall asleep at the table.

I’m very glad he was able to shop for the boy with me as our main gift to him this year was tools. Specifically deep well sockets and a bunch of other stuff that I don’t know what it does so that he can work on his 4 motorcycles. What? You mean all 13 year olds don’t have 4 motorcycles????

In fairness, he really only works on and rides 2 of them. One is a full size bike that belongs to his uncle, but he’s moving to Florida and can’t take it with him. I have no idea whether it works. Another is a full size motorcycle that he & his uncle converted so it is electric. Bikes 3 and 4 are dirt bikes – the Honda is pretty reliable, but he is forever working on the Suzuki.

Every day since he has brought the bikes down from his grandpa’s house I come home to the sight of a filthy boy working on a motorcycle in the garage where my car should be, blasting Guns n Roses. My house smells like gasoline. All the time. I’m afraid the smell will poison the cat who shares his bedroom. At least he’s home.

Anyway, shopping is mostly done. This weekend I have to wrap and hopefully get my cards done. On top of the usual cooking, cleaning, & shopping. The boy will be gone and hub will be working – woo hoo! Party at my place!!!! Just joking (maybe).

Have a good weekend.

Profound thought of the day

"Never to underestimate the destructive power of negative feedback loops." I read this in an article today. It’s a quote by an expert on the current economic crisis, but if you think about it, this is really a universal truth. Negative feedback loops are insidious things, they can start so small and can be so difficult to get out of. Like trying to launch yourself into orbit – the force required to leave the gravity of the earth is tremendous – so is the gravity of the loop.

That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do lately. Doing so while dealing with hub’s crazy work schedule and everything else has been difficult. Maybe what I need to do is stop feeding the loop by getting so down on myself when things don’t work out like I want or plan.

Just a thought.

Kinda crazy on the home front

My poor husband got home at 11 o’clock last night!!! They are doing some big walk through inspection today. Gah. I got up and packed his lunch and dinner (just in case) and cooked him a nice breakfast sandwich on a homemade biscuit. Poor guy. To say that he is burnt toast is a pretty massive understatement.

I expect to get home a bit late tonight myself. I have no idea what to make for dinner – I was going to do lentil soup in the crock pot, but I didn’t have time to put it on this morning. Hello Cici’s Pizza!

My plans for the weekend after Christmas are to either paint the boy’s room (he picked out grey with black curtains – barf) or to make a mock-up of a Viking apron dress. I’ve never made one before so I want to make a mock-up first because I am totally intimidated by the expensive fabric I bought at Pennsic!

I’d like to make a green table runner for the dining room table to go with the Christmas table cloth – I haven’t been able to find one I like. Other than that, I’m pretty pleased with the decorations (well, once we get the decorations on the tree).

After Christmas, I’d really like to paint either my bathroom or my kitchen. I’m bored and would like a change.

I can’t wait to get back to a more normal schedule.

June Cleaver didn’t have a day job

Today is the day that hub’s building was supposed to be completed and turned over to the school. As if! The school has said they are moving in Saturday. However, this does not mean that they are necessarily done – it just means they have to do all the little pesky finishing up things while working around furniture deliveries etc. In other words, will the 12 hour days/7 days per week end next weekend? Who knows? All I know is that my poor husband fell asleep at the dinner table last night.

In the meantime, my stint as June Cleaver continues. Get up, feed animals, pack lunches, cook breakfast, then get myself ready for work. Come home, fix supper, convince son that he is neither Cinderella nor being abused because I ask him to do the dishes 2 days in a row!!! (Oh, the plight of these poor put upon teens….) Do laundry, run errands, help with homework. Weekend is spent doing household chores – cleaning, shopping, cooking. And of course this weekend it also involved putting up the Christmas decorations. I had the tree set up with lights on, as well as the rest of the decorating. We were going to put the ornaments on after dinner, but what with the falling asleep at the table and all, we decided it would be best to try again for next weekend.

I can hardly wait for Christmas just because I know I’ll get to sleep in!

Whiny post

My drippy nose had become “the world’s largest snot factory” ™ Tuesday night, which led to “annoying cough that keeps you awake” last night. Ugh. I have too much to do to be sick!

I was running late yesterday morning and didn't pack my breeakfast. So, I had to buy at work and my choice was a bit iffy. This was followed by a soft pretzel as my afternoon snack, and a beer while I soaked in the tub.

Comfort eat much?

Oh well, for now I am weighing myself every day and have set a goal for the end of December. Exercise continues to not happen. :-( Hopefully after I am feeling better!

I’m here, just busy

Once we got back from the beach (which was very nice), hub began working 12 hour days. So things at home are a bit hectic. Work is semi-hectic. Eating is much improved, exercise is being put off for housework. Not good, I know. I have a full blown cold.

I have plenty to be grateful for: our health, good jobs, out home & pets. We’ve decided to donate a good chunk of our Christmas budget to charity – given our blessings, it seems only right.

I’m trying to get more regular about posting, but I can’t promise anything until after Christmas! Just know I’m hanging in there, hope you are too! :-)

The refrigerator is NOT your wonderland!

Let me start by saying this: I recognize that I am solely responsible for what goes in my mouth. However, I think we can agree that our loved ones (especially those we live with) help to create a climate that influences our decisions.

Last night after I went to bed, my husband ate my breakfast for today and tomorrow (it was leftovers, but I told him I was using them for my breakfast). This was after a substantial dinner and he had broken out a bag of hidden potato chips. (I had no idea we had potato chips - I never buy them).

So, my challenge is two-fold: 1) my husband brings home foods I don’t like having around (chips, beer, etc.) and 2) when I do have a healthy meal planned, he is not above eating it as a snack. I discovered my breakfast gone 3 minutes before I was leaving the house. That’s not a lot of time to come up with a plan “b”.

I’m not trying to blame my husband for my weight gain, but there are times when he certainly makes staying on plan a real challenge!

Nice Weekend

This was a very busy weekend. My mom & the boy headed down to the beach house we rented for the week. My MIL's birthday is coming up, so she came to town and we took her out to breakfast. Hub's car was leaking transmission fluid, so we took it in to have a seal replaced. And of course I cleaned the house and spent some time doing a bit of packing for the beach (linens & stuff so far). But it was a nice weekend.

The guest room is all set up and I previewed 3 dvds: 1 yoga, 1 yogalates, and 1 Windsor Pilates (it's actually a vhs tape). I think I like the yogalates the best of the lot. I'd like to ge a better yoga tape - I have a few in my netflix queue to preview. I have a couple of solid step aerobic tapes, and the kettlebell dvd my mom is giving me for Christmas. Our weather has been unseasonably cold (and I still have a runny nose), so it's nice to have easy options in the house.

Eating was better. My choices weren't always great, but I thought about what I was eating more, and that's a good start.

I talked to a collegue that I used to be in the same department with and he's now working for the guy I interviewed with last week. If I don't get the job I won't be heartbroken (unless of course I ge laid off in January!) - sounds pretty disorganized and hectic in that area right now. I'm afraid from what I heard it would be very stressful! OTOH, not sure I'd turn it down either...

Oh well, I may not have to make that decision at all....

Anyway, things are moving along, albeit slowly.

If you celebrate it, have a Happy Thanksgiving. I'll beach at the beach eating seafood! We'll have turkey at Christmas. :-)

Who used to write this blog????

The other day I was cleaning some old documents off my hard drive. It was obvious what many were (recipes), but others I couldn't tell by the name, so I opened them up. Several were old entires. Funnily enough, the first one was my first entry. I probably read 6 entires or so. Now, I never go back and read my old entries, so I hadn't read this stuff in years.

What struck me was how different my tone was when I began writing this blog. At that point I'd been exercising faithfully for over 2 years and was well on my weight loss journey. I was so much more positive - I sounded so much more confident than I was back then. It made me realize how this .. malaise .. has spread to all aspects of my life.

Now, exercise isn't going to solve all my problems. I am well into prei-menopause, so my hormones are going pretty wacky. But I do know that exercise can 1) help me physically and 2) help give me a sense of control in a very turbulent time. I can't control what happens at work, but I can control my responses. And exercise can help with that.

My husband helped me overhaul the guest room - I now have shelving in the closet to store a bunch of stuff. The futon is propped against one wall (it looks kinda dumb, but who cares?). I have a tv, vcr, and dvd. We keep the doors closed (so the dogs can't get in), and in the winter this room is cooler than the rest of the house. In short, it has become an excellent exercise area! I have a shelf with my workout dvds and vhs tapes, and a shelf for my workout equipment.

It's been in the teens and 20s in the morning, and I just haven't been able to convince myself to go walk outside. That's okay - I now have a "no excuse" zone. :-)

The girl that used to write this blog sounded far happier and healthier than the one writing now - I think I want to get her back.

Wish me luck!

Interview with another department (same company) this afternoon!

Still no exercise - the weather has been unseasonably cold and this cold has sapped my energy. Next week I plan to walk and we're taking our bikes to the beach.

Home from work

This cold is kicking my butt! The sad thing is is it isn't a horrible cold, it's just bad enough that I'm tired & have very little energy. I left work early yesterday, and today simply called in sick. I've just putzed around the house. I'm feeling a little better - I'm glad next week is Thanksgiving.

Not much is new - plans for exercise have been delayed a bit, but I'm making strides on the "eat healthier foods" front.

Work is going well - I'm keeping busy, which helps keep the mind off all the stuff going on. The economy is so bad right now, it's a scary time. I'm glad hub and I took "Financial Peace University" (we graduate this week), I just wish we'd done it years ago!

Progress, not perfection

Last night I made a yummy dinner - pork chops (from the Mennonite farm), butternut squash and salad (from the farmer's market). The next best thing to growing it myself (someday!).

After dinner hub agreed to walk the dogs with me, but then it started raining pretty hard - since I already have a cold I figured walking in the rain wasn't the smart thing to do. So I still haven't cracked the mystery of the aching shins.

I was really craving cheese dip from the mexican place last night - instead I made some dip at home with Rotel canned tomatoes, fat free refried beans, fresh cheese (again, from the farmer's market), and some organic chips. I didn't really need a snack, but at least my choice was healthier (and cheaper!) than the mexican place!

I found a couple of workout CDs I'd love to buy. Maybe just one??? Of course, then I have to get the thing loaded onto my MP3 player....

A slower start than expected - but not discouraged!

I got up early yesterday to try out my new shoes and sweatpants. The pants are great! I think the shoes are great too, but my shins were really bothering me. :-( It was fairly cold, so I don't know if it was because I wasn't warmed up (I did start out slow), or because I didn't put the heel cushions in the new shoes (which I ususally use), or what. My shins have been giving me problems on my afternoon walks as well. For now, I think I'll try walking in the evenings and see if that makes a difference.

Well, not exactly "right now" since I seem to be coming down with a cold! I am using salt water to clean my sinuses and drinking plenty of hot lemon water with honey. If I'm not feeling too wiped out, I may try a shorter walk with the dogs this evening.

Even though I wasn't feeling all that hot, I told my husband 'no' when he asked if I wanted to go out to eat last night. I managed to make a decent supper and after that we went down to the gym to sign he & the boy up. Our plan is to go as a family on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. Hub and I will go a third time on the weekend.

Also yesterday, I was reading another blogger and she was talking about the fact that Dax Moy (a British nutrition guru) has a free diet posted, complete with tracking diary. It's called "The Elimination Diet", and its a sort of de-tox thing. In a nutshell, it's about getting the processed foods, sugar, caffeine, out of your diet. No strict food plan or anything - more like guidelines around what to get rid of. As I said yesterday, plenty of crap has crept back into my routine eating and I know I always feel better when that stuff is gone! So this will be a useful tool to help me do that.

Yesterday hub took some old (broken) gold jewelry and sold it at a local jewelry store. That's money for the emergency fund. It's funny how the current economic situation is really getting us to be more frugal, less wasteful, and do little things like that. That stuff (not repairable) had been sitting around in drawers for years - now it's money in the bank.

The current economic situation is bad, but I hope the silver lining is that we become a little less wasteful as a society.

Okay, have a good day!

Changes

This weekend I went a purchased a pair of sweatpants (my old ones were worn out) and a new pair of walking shoes. This morning I got up to go for a walk – I nearly died. My calves and shins were screaming in pain and I didn’t think I’d make it home. I am going to try adding those heel gel cushions to the new shoes and I am going to try walking in the evening – hopefully my muscles will be more warmed up and that will work better. This afternoon we are going to sign the rest of the family up for the gym. Monday and Wednesdays we are all going to go to the gym together. I will probably do a bit of lifting and use the elliptical – it will be easier on the legs until I get a big of fitness back (and drop some weight).

I could be freaked out about this (and I kinda am), but with everything else going on in my life, this feels like something I can control and something I can do something about. As compared with trying to come up with some plans ‘b’ whiel waiting for news. Which is a pretty powerless feeling, which is why I’ve been so stressed/depressed. This will give me something to focus on and it’s something where I will be able to see and feel results. That’s gotta be a good thing.

In short, I an now returning this to a fitness blog. I’m sure I’ll continue to update/post about other things. But I want to focus on this.

Oh yeah, and the great diet clean-up commenced today as well. I’m not currently focused on calories – just on getting a lot of the crap out that had somehow snuck in while my brain was otherwise engaged. I got up and had my green drink, follwed by a piece of toast with peanut butter and herbal tea. Yum.

Not the best news

As I said, our company announced they were laying off 10% of the workforce. There have been layoffs over the past 2 weeks. Turns out that represents 25% of the 10% - so the majority of layoffs will be in January according to the latest info.

So, my job is still very much in the air. They are saying unemployment may continue to rise until 2011. Given my rather specialized advanced degree, coupled with the probable job losses locally as a result of Wachovia being bought, and I forsee a very tough job market.

SO, yes I am worried. Very much. I'm looking into potential options (lateral entry into teaching - my salary would be cut in half but it would be something until things improve), substitute teaching.

If I do get laid off next year, I'll get a couple weeks of additional benefits. We checked and we can transfer our benefits (health, dental) over to my husband's company.

I guess I'm trying to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. It's gonna be a long winter.

An early Thanksgiving

Today they announced layoffs in our business unit (announcements began across the company last week). I still have a job!

There wil be additional layoffs in first quarter of next year. But to me, that just means you have 6 extra months to prepare and you are 6 months closer to the country coming out of recession.

I don't know what will happen at that point. For now, I'll keep doing my job the best I can. Iwill still look at jobs in other departments (if they seem secure).

In the meantime, I went to the grocery store and bought my family the fixings for a nice steak dinner (hey - cheaper than going out!). I also bought one of the pre-filled bags to donate to the food bank - the largest one they had. I've been blessed, and while I plan to work hard to prepare my family in case we hit tougher times ahead, I want to share my blessings with the less fortunate as well.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I hope you'll continue to keep me (and others) in your minds - I'm afraid this recession is going to get worse before it begins to get better.

In less important news, I've gained 5 pounds in stress eating! This weekend I plan to go out and buy myself a new pair of walking shoes (my old ones are worn out!) and hub has agreed to walk with me in the morning.

It's a start.

Good days, bad days

Some days are better than others. We had a lot of fun having friends over Friday night and Sturday was a nice day. Yesterday the weather was beautiful, but my mood was very down. Today at work was a little better. This whole thin has just been rough, as I'm sure you know if you've been reading!

I called the community college - they will call folks in for interviews for teaching positions in Decemeber (to star in Januray?). So, 1) short notice and 2) won't know anything for a while.

Anyway, still hanging in here.

Next Wednesday

I was actually feeling a little better today. I reminded myself that our VP has 5 or 6 teams spread across 3 states - the 2 teams here both have over 15% open positions that can be cut first. SO, while she may have cuts (which she said she does), we are the 2 least likely teams to have cuts.

Then we got the note that cuts would be communicated next Wednesday and seeing a date in black and white from one of the "higher ups" just shoved it back in my face.

Either way, this time next week I'll know.