The silver lining

 I know I left stuff in a bit of a cliff hanger. It's been busy at work and I'm out of spoons (as the young people say).

The silver lining is that hub and I are on the same page when it comes to the kids. We told them we wouldn't give them money, but we'd sit down with them and have zoom calls and review their finances and help them figure their own shizz out. Hub and I both took financial peace and while we don't follow it religiously, we're both pretty good about having a budget.

Food is pretty good, I'm doing a lot of walks with the dog (3 or so miles per day). That's about all I have right now. We started dog training with the dogs (another wholes story there) and we have nightly homework. So my plate is pretty dang full.

Do the best you can with what you got.

Just ugh

 So, yeah the funeral was every bit as sad as you expect for a 26 year old who should have his whole life ahead of him. 

Then last Tuesday my best friend's dad was crushed to death under a tractor. They did not have a good relationship, he was not a good person, and she felt about as welcome as a tick at a dog show at the hillbilly hot mess that was the funeral weekend.

Oh, and my stepson and his wife had their car repoed, so naturally they came running to the first bank of dad. The same dad who JUST paid off the $1200 fridge they put on our Lowe's card. His mom had offered them a free fridge, but apparently that isn't what they wanted..... We just found out about the free fridge and we are both pissed. So yeah.

I'm in a crappy place.

Fiber

 In reading about reducing cholesterol, fiber kept coming up as being important. For me this is a twofer: in order to eat more foods with fiber you are crowding out more highly processed foods. 

Since I am able to prep and eat here at the house and I prefer to eat at home anyway, this felt doable. But I've actually never intentionally tracked my fiber! I use the free version of myfitnesspal, but I was able to poke around and find where I could see my fiber intake for the day. The standard recommendation is 25-30 grams per day - yesterday I had 27. 

This does mean I'm going to need to log my food, but since I eat a lot of the same (or very similar things) it shouldn't be too difficult. 

Take care.

Annual physical

 So I had my annual physical last week.  My 2 big take aways were: my A1C is creeping up and kissing pre diabetic. My cholesterol is higher than she wants. 

Time to get serious.

Hard

 My son's best friend passed away Friday afternoon after a hard fought battle with cancer. He is gone far too soon.

Almost there!

 I have been dancing around in the 200 - 208 range since early September. With all the stress its understandable. But now that warmer weather is here, I am motivated and feeling good, and feel like I'm close to getting into my groove, I weighed 200.2 this morning. I'm about to cross a big line for me, and I'm excited!!!

Back and back at it

 We had a wonderful time! The Outer Banks are really special. If you've never been, highly recommend! We had a lovely time but it's nice to be home and be getting back into a routine. 

I didn't go too off the railes, I enjoyed myself but made generally good choices. Now I'm back home and back to walking the dog, going to the gym, and being more careful about my food.

It feels good to go away and not go off the deep end.

Take care!

Vacation

 Happy Valentine's Day! Some friends are arriving today from Alaska, so I am taking a long weekend/ short vacation and heading up the coast to the outer banks. I hope you have a great day & weekend!

Surprise!

Day 2 back at boot camp. I didn't even know how much I missed the gym until I went back.

I logged my weight (I'm trying to only weigh a couple of times per week so the scale doesn't may me cray cray). I thought "eh a little over a pound." Nope, a little over 2 pounds. I hate that slow & steady wins the race, but at least I'm making progress. Now to stay the course Sunday.

Take care. 

Back in the saddle again

 I went back to boot camp after an 8 day hiatus. It was hard, but it also felt good. I am still sniffly, but I feel like I am (finally) on the mend. I don't know if it was time or the antibiotics, but either way I'll take it.

It's in the 70s here - for a couple of days at least. That means a lunchtime walk at the beach. Yes! I might survive winter. :-)

Take care.

Over 2 weeks

 I broke down and went to the urgent care over the weekend. I have antibiotics and I'm feeling some better, but I still have congestion and my energy level is just bleh.

I want to feel better!!!

Another post!

 Lol. I haven't been a very faithful blogger lately, but here I am again.

First, thank you for the comments. It's makes me feel better to know that others noticed as well about Sean. He had such a big heart and yes, he loved both his brother (who passed many years ago) and his mom who recently passed. I think it was the three of them against the world when he was a kid.

I went to the doctor on Sunday. The congestion just kept getting worse and I was keeping myself awake with the coughing. I have antibiotics and a night time cough medicine that knocks me out. I am not up for boot camp but I'm at least able to get out and walk the dog. I can't walk both, but I can get out so that's something.

Anyway, here's to hoping this stuff clears up soon!

Shock

 For those of us that have been blogging for quite a while, you probably read Sean Anderson's blog at some point. Losing weight every day was his story about losing a lot of weight, regaining a lot, and losing it again and then keeping it off. His blog was very personal and his passion for family, life, and being his best self came through. I just found out he passed suddenly and unexpectedly in late December. We emailed back and forth several times and I feel like I've lost a friend. It's so weird. My heart goes out to his girls - they and his grandkids were his world. We really never know how much time we have.

I've stayed off the scale until today, choosing to focus on getting my head into a good place and making what feels like good choices. Despite a 3 day trip to Savannah I lost a minuscule amount of weight. I can live with that. But I do feel like it's time to get more serious, so I'm going to begin logging food into my fitness pal for a few days to see where I am. Am I making mistakes or are my mini vacations eroding what would otherwise be success?

I walked for an hour yesterday despite the fact that the cold I had last week has morphed into a persist wet cough. I don't feel bad, but it's def affecting my breathing - boot camp Wednesday sucked. Walking was better. Today is rainy and yucky so I will head to Anytime and walk on the elliptical today.

Take care.

A good place

 This past weekend I took a day off work and my bestie and I went to Savannah for a girls' getaway weekend. It was marvelous. She especially was in dire need of a break. We both came back feeling refreshed, renewed, and motivated.

Right now I am focused on getting out and walking, getting to boxing bootcamp a minimum of 3 times per week and eating plenty of fiber and vegetables. I am feeling better, sleeping better, and my mental health is my better. I know that's a result of several factors, but for the first time in years I feel like I'm in a really good place.

Not much new

 Going to the gym, scale slowly headed down. I am going to Savannah with my bestie for a long weekend. Still loving the boxing gym.

Going well

 Still loving the gym, eating pretty well, scale slowly going down.

Love my gym

 I'm not always excited about going to the gym, but I always feel amazing when I leave. I did 3 visits week 1, 4 last week, and my goal for this week is 5. I am really enjoying it and I'm so glad I joined.

My son's gf did my nails and they are making typing tough. Too long! I need her to trim them down when she gets back in town from her business trip. First world problems. Lol

Have a good week!

Good week

 If I tell you that it has been a successful week and that I lost 0.2 pounds would you be confused? 

We went out of town last weekend and to say that our diets went off the rails would be a massive understatement. Monday I was up nearly 4 pounds from Friday.

I nearly gave up. I nearly quit on my 6 week challenge at the gym. I told myself I couldn't be successful so I might as well quit. I sulked. I pouted. Then I kept at it. I tightened my diet up a bit and upped my water. I got back in the gym and worked hard. I dropped 4 pounds and ended slightly under where I was last Friday.

I don't know whether I will successfully complete the 6 week challenge, but I won't quit on myself.

Catching up

 Post holidays have been a bit of a blur - getting back into the swing of things at work and T getting back into the swing of work! So it's been a while. I know there aren't very many bloggers out there any more, but I still much prefer blogs over Fb or Instagram. I guess I like the boring back story. :-) So anyway, for those of you still around, here goes. :-)

My ex moved to Missouri and his brother lives in Maryland. His mom had moved to Kernersville to be closer to us, but of course over the years we have all moved away. Her relationship with both her sons is lousy and while she isn't my favorite person, my mom couldn't stand the thought of her being alone at Christmas, so she spent the holiday with us again this year. The situation doesn't bother T, but she is a fairly annoying person so having her here is not the most relaxing part of the holiday. Having said that, T jokes that he's the son she always wanted - she thinks he is terrific, so that helps.

I signed up for a 6 week challenge at Cape Fear Boxing. Who says you can't buy discipline? LOL. I love it! It's a boot camp and the folks there (employees and members) are really cool. I'm enjoying it! It is really helping keep me on track. We were out of town this weekend and my diet went off the rails, but the accountability of the challenge helped me to get right back on the wagon.

Living with my mom is going pretty well and I am thankful to be able to say that. Not only is it helping us save money to put even more down when we do find a house, but its just nice to go to the thrift shops or beach or sit down and have lunch. 

Work is going okay - the company as a whole is experiencing some growing pains but it's still a great place to work and I love my team.

My weight is terrible but I am doing something about it and I believe I can be successful.

My husband is doing Optavia (formerly Medifast) and has lost over 25 pounds so far! I couldn't do it, but I'm super proud of him. 

So he's eating a "lean & green" for dinner - which he generally prepares (although I may hand him say hot chicken and green beans for him to doctor). I try to provide some of the basics based on what we are having. I generally cook for me & mom (mom isn't a huge fan of cooking and is content to let me cook & she will clean). My son's best friend has cancer. I have to say the prognosis isn't good. It's awful. I mention it because in addition to his medical limitations on eating, he has a diet proscribed by and eastern medicine doctor. So I have been cooking for him as well and sending over meals. So yeah, a LOT of cooking. It feels like tetris some days, but I'm thankful I am able to help out in some way.

In any case, my life is dogs, cooking, gym, reading on my kindle, and trying to get together with my bestie. We have a girls weekend getaway to Savannah planned at the end of the month.

Life is good.

Take care.

Back in the saddle

 Well the holidays were stressful and I gained weight. My ex-MIL was here, and yes, she's as annoying as ever. 

Having said that, T got a job and started today. I found a gym I think I'm going to love. So things are looking up! Upward and onward!