Groundhog dog

 Every day I say I want to do better, every day I succumb to the BLTs (bites, licks, tastes). Every day I nickel and dime myself into my weight staying the same. Exercise is pretty good, meals are pretty good, alcohol has been banished (not worth the calories!), but snacks are killing me. 

Weekend

 Every couple of months my husband actually gets a weekend off. Instead of the beach we opted to chill around home. The PRP injection seems to be helping some, but I am afraid we are probably looking at knee replacement in the not too distant future. :-(

I'm sad not to have gone to the beach, but glad T had a chance to be off his feet and catch up on some much needed rest.

Take care.

Disappointed

 I feel like I am still casting about. I weighed for the first time in 2 weeks - down 0.2 pounds. Lol As I've said before, I seem to be doing pretty well at maintenance. 

I was hoping to be in the 160s by my birthday (April 19), but at 176.8 pounds I'm not sure that's doable. having said that, I am going to really focus until then! 

We had talked about going to the beach the weekend, but decided not to. T has to be off his anti-inflammation meds for 5 days after his PRP injection, and let's just say that's been rough. So I think a fairly quiet weekend at home is in order.

Take care.

Tired

 This week has been nuts for both of us at work. If there is a theme, it's been "Everything is on fire." This morning I thought it was Friday. I'm ready to go hide in a tub.

Productive weekend

 Good morning.

My son and his gf (and my grandpuppies!) came this weekend. We knocked a ton of stuff of the to do list, which feels awesome! T and I may head to the beach, or we may take it easy. His work is beyond crazy these days.

Trying to get plenty of movement and keep an eye on my food. Sigh. Again.

Family time

It was really nice to have my mom here. We had a chance to visit and Pepper loves her - and her dogs as well! After she left, he spent the next day or two checking in the guest room. I don't know if he was looking for them or what, but he would go in there and nap! It was too cute.

My son and his girlfriend may come this weekend! I need help with some things around the house and once fishing starts up he is going to be super busy. So that will be nice!

Take care & have a good weekend!

Back

 Good morning.

Been back from vacation for a while, but things here have been hectic! T's job is CRAZY right now, which takes a certain toll on both of us. My job isn't as crazy, but it has its own stresses these days. Currently my mom is here - she has a doctor appointment (she kept her ortho and eye doctor up here rather than switching to new ones). So she's visiting a few days as well. 

We are working with Pepper (the "new" dog). The gal at the rescue has a trainer she works with and Jennifer (trainer) is working with us for free to help get over some potty (marking) issues. He's a sweet guy, but a bit of a project right now! (Just what I needed - not.)

I'm trying to focus on baby steps - right now the exercise bike and weights have fallen by the wayside, but I am walking multiple times a day (thanks Pepper!) and keeping an eye on my food. I realized I didn't record my weight for 4 weeks (I record my weight on Fridays and have for years - although with some gaps). I've been overwhelmed by a lot of things and I am trying hard to prioritize and break things down into manageable tasks/ goals. Self care is a priority - but pushing myself to get more fit isn't necessarily topping my list.

In some really good news, I got my second covid vaccine Friday and my husband got his last Wednesday. So that provides a measure of relief and excitement.

Take care.

Vacation

 Wow! Sorry to be gone so long. T is off for 10 days and I took a few days off as well. We went down to the beach to celebrate my son's birthday. Also his gf's, since hers is 13 days before his! Had a lovely visit and now we are in Helen GA. It's very quiet (off season), and we are just chilling.

T's former ortho basically didn't want to do knee replacement on someone his age (52) unless it got to the point he could no longer work. Believe me, it's not that WE weren't open to surgery, but it was clear that doctor wasn't willing, even though other options weren't working.

Last week we went to a new ortho, who was much more open to the idea. After discussing what has been tried so far, he offered one new suggestion: PRP injections. T has an appointment to try that in a couple of weeks. If that doesn't work, then surgery it is. I know he was very nervous about having surgery, but our quality of life has reached a point that we have to do something. But it's his knees, so HE needed to get to that place mentally.

Anyway, having a lovely time here in Helen. Back soon! 

Take care.

My husband's knees

 My husband is in constant pain from his knees. He's been to an orthopedist, had cortisone shots (first time they helped for a month, next time they helped for 3 days), been to an acupuncturist (helped for a day), been through physical therapy (they recommended he have his knees replaced), and of course tried various pills, gels, foam rolling, accupressure mat, etc. etc. 

Living with constant pain affects everything. It affects my husband's mood and his performance at work. It impacts what we do (and where we go) on vacation. It affects what he can do around the house and yard (very little). It affects our household budget - we've had to outsource the yard work to a service and we are getting an estimate on getting some help around the house.

And it affects my mood. It's hard working a full time job and being primarily responsible for everything around the house - from walking the dogs (he can't), to doing all the shopping (the concrete floors in stores are killer for him), and of course I do the bulk of the housework. It's hard not to be resentful sometimes even though I know that none of this is his fault and he certainly would prefer things NOT be this way!

He is getting a second opinion today. He current ortho basically said "Once you get to the point that you can't work then we'll look at doing knee replacement." Um, no. Not an acceptable answer.

Anyway, that's a big thing going on in my life - and it's something we've been living with for well over a year now. 

Take care.

Good gravy

 Hello!

I never intended to be away so long! Oh my gosh - I bet I have a lot to write if I sit down and think about it. know that I am going on vacation later this week and hopefully will have time to catch up. I have mastered maintenance - ha ha. If only I were near goal weight. :-) New dog is still settling in - it's a work in progress. I was spoiled - I forgot what a big transition that can be!

Still getting out and walking every day! Only 1 day I exercised indoors exclusively in nearly 6 weeks. I hope spring is on the way. It's at least light more!

Take care - back soon! 

Where has the week gone???

 Well, work is still crazy. I had anxiety dreams about work last night!! That's pretty unusual for me. Wednesday I used my lunch hour to do some housework, so I do at least feel better about that. It's been rainy and work has been super busy - I took 2 days off the bike - Wednesday I decided to clean instead and yesterday I donated blood. The dog only got 2 walks on those days as well. But I have kept up with my kettlebells - I'm not doing nearly the volume of work I was before, but I am (slowly) building back up. I was down 2.5 pounds this week. Don't you hate it when the scale bounces around like Tigger??? Lol

Tonight I am making a very "southern" meal - black eyed pea stew (it has greens & tomatoes and is yummy!) and salmon patties. I like beans in general and honestly I think they are a healthy part of our diet - a much better choice than more processed carbs! 

I have Monday off! And boy do I need it. :-)

Take care.

Not much new

 Work is crazy, the house is a mess, I need a vacation.

Here's a funny picture. It's funny because this is me.

Four weeks, and what the actual heck

 I learned a new word this week:

It's been 4 weeks today since I lost my pruppet. It still hurts very much. Having said that, Pepper is beginning to settle in.

I have watched my food this week and significantly ramped up my exercise, so naturally I regained the measly half pound I lost last week. I hate the scale.

Take care.

Finding a new routine

 So the dogs are settling in. There's a bit of jealousy (Susie) and a bit of regressive behavior (Pepper), but that will resolve in time. Susie wasn't the "only dog" for very long, so that will be fine. Everyone knows they are loved. :-)

In an effort to be sure he gets out and gets exercise, Pepper has been getting 3 walks of the half mile loop per day! Susie generally goes once and calls that good. She will likely want to go more/ longer when the weather warms back up. 

So I am walking 3 times per day (although not for long), riding the exercise bike 20-25 minutes, and I have added my beloved kettlebells back in 3 times per week. So go me! A little too much grazing between meals (the perils of working at home), but meals have been solid and evening snacking hasn't been an issue.

I don't want to jinx it, but maybe I've found my groove???

Take care.

Meet Pepper!

So a thing happened this weekend.

Pepper is a 5 year old chihuahua min pin mix. He's been at the foster agency since September of 2017. Prospective puppy parents were either put off my his energy & chihuahua aggression (he can be a brat) or they were much older folks looking for a little potato dog. Foster mom has had this guy out on 3 mile runs, so potato he is not!

We are all adjusting, but he & Susie seem to have really hit it off. Last night I sat on the sofa with tears streaming down my face. Getting a new dog was like admitting Jordan is really gone. (Yes, I know that's irrational.) I have never grieved the loss of a pet like this. But we are a good fit for this guy and I think he will settle in nicely.

Mrs Swan - I did like in Florida for a while! I was transferred down there for work, but ultimately moved back to NC. 

It was a decent weekend - I was just beginning to get a hang of this morning routine when this little guy came into our lives and now I have to figure it all out again! Oh well. :-) I did walk the dogs at butt crack dark thirty and rode the exercise bike for 20 minutes so far today! 

Take care.

Starting the day off right!

 It's interesting to me that no matter how old you are. there are always opportunities to learn new things about yourself. One of my "assignments" last week was to work on establishing a good morning routine. My husband made an astute observation: pre pandemic I left the house before I started work (even on WFH days I typically did something outside) and during the spring & summer I walked in the morning. Now that the weather has turned I'm not getting outside, which has made the transition from home to work pretty blurry.

Monday I got up and walked Susie pretty early - that worked pretty well. Tuesday I didn't due to weather and spent the day in a funk (bad news didn't help). Yesterday I went to the dentist and then took Susie for a walk. This morning I was faced with a challenge: dark + snowy (maybe icy patches) roads. Instead of getting out right away, I climbed on the exercise bike, put "Aerial Africa" on the TV (courtesy of amazon prime), and shouted out upbeat tunes for the google home to play. Twenty minutes later my blood was pumping and I felt like I had had a decent workout. I didn't get outside, but vigorous activity seemed to work pretty well too. I may try to keep doing some yoga, but it clearly doesn't work for me as my morning activity!

Anyway, that's all I've got for today.

Take care.

Down Day

 Monday was a really good day. The sun was out, Susie and I enjoyed a good walk in the morning, I was super productive at work - it just felt pretty good. That evening I got a text from my mom - my son't best friend has cancer. This young man (he's 25) is like a part of our family. He & F went to college together, they were roommates at one point, he's spent holidays with our family, and our families have spent holidays all together (back before covid). 

I just spent yesterday in a funk. Sad for him, missing Jordan, burned out & tired of being isolated. Add to that it was a rainy gray day and my mental state was one of anxiety & exhaustion. I grazed all day and then asked my husband to pick up tacos for dinner. I just couldn't face cooking. I tried all the things I could think of to distract myself, but it just didn't work.

Today is a new day. Susie and I were able to get our walk in. It's cloudy but not raining. We may get snow tonight and then a couple of days of sunny but cold weather. Getting outside and moving didn't change anything - except my mindset.

Keep fighting the good fight y'all.

Better bad choices

 This weekend was an opportunity to put that nugget into practice!

T and I went out to dinner Friday night (grilled salmon, double broccoli, no appetizer). Then in an unplanned move, we met his family at a burger place for lunch Saturday (grilled chicken salad, ate a few bites of the appetizers ordered, took home leftovers). We try to limit our dining out and choose places carefully where we feel relatively "safe" dining, so 2 in 1 weekend was very unusual. Then Sunday T wanted wings for dinner to go with the football. So I made baked wings and a chopped veggie salad to go alongside. I put some grilled chicken in the salad to pump up the protein and limited the number of wings. I was still up a pound after the weekend but really that's not too shabby!

I've struggled finding a morning routine. Today it's supposed to rain with a high of 44. Since it was 42 this morning at 6:30 I decided to go ahead and walk then. Susie did much better walking in the morning. As much as I dislike the cold, I think I just need to suck it up and walk in the morning. I felt much better and managed 3 half mile laps (lately I've only been doing 1). I hope I've set myself up for a successful day.

Take care. 

Glad it's Friday

 It's been a long week. Work has been hectic, I've been sad, but I've been hanging in there. Had a nice loss (2.6 pounds). I hate that I'm starting again, but at least I'm starting again.

I finished watching the documentary on Amazon prime I wrote about:

The movie has 3 sections: nutrition, exercise, and psychology. The real gold (for me) was in the psychology part - I'm going to watch that part again and take notes! One thing one of the folks interviewed said really struck a chord with me "I encourage my clients to make better bad choices." Not perfect - not some crazy strict way of eating you can never adhere to - just improve your choices gradually. Gold. 

I've actually been doing that. I think I mentioned I gave up alcohol (extra calories, and it tends to lessen my inhibitions, which makes it easier for me to over snack), but I missed the taste and ritual. So we've been experimenting with some alcohol free substitutes. Some have been better than others, but it has helped me to make the shift. Anyway, there's a success for the week!

I'm going to make some new valences this weekend. I'll post photos!

Take care.

Hanging in there

 I've made it so far with my 2 baby goals for the week, but it's been tough. Work is crazy, my mom went home and that set off another round of sad. I miss J-dog so much my heart aches. But you know, eating won't bring her back. So I get out and I walk Susie. That's the sum total of the exercise I am doing right now. My mom had the first dose of the vaccine this week. I remind myself that spring is on the way and so are better times.

Take care.