Me too, VJ.

First, thanks for the comments. Writing it helped a lot, reading your thoughts helped a lot, and talking to walking buddy at lunch helped too. What I realized is that I don’t want to dread martial arts, nor do I want to view it as a punishment for gaining weight over vacation. And forcing myself to go when I really need some quiet time will only perpetuate the bad cycle I’ve been in the past few days. There are times where you put on the big girl panties and do it, even if its uncomfortable. But it’s a bit like exercising with an injury – you have to know when its okay to run through the pain, and when you need to listen to what your body is saying and stop! Right now my soul is screaming “stop”, and if I don’t give myself a chance to re-charge, then its only gonna get worse.

If it were typical post-vacation trying to get back into a routine, I’d nod, thank you all for the kick in the pants, and go. But it’s a lot more than that. So I’m going to nod, thank you for your thoughts, and give myself until Saturday to rest. I will eat healthy, exercise in the morning, and piddle in the evenings. Saturday morning I’m back to class, and next week I’ll aim to go 3 times: Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday. LouBob’s comment made me realize that yet again I was tripping myself up with my “all or nothing” thinking. Five days a week seemed scary – 3 days isn’t bad, and it gives me a couple of evenings during the week to just relax. I am hoping that after next week, I’ll be ready to ramp up to my 5 days per week target, but if it takes a week or 2, well, I guess the world won’t end.

Thanks again my friends.