Perhaps my big girl panties aren’t missing after all
It never ceases to amaze me how totally out of touch with my feelings & emotions I can be. I’ve figured out what’s going on, but I would like some advice on the best course of action.
While my trip to Florida was fun, it was anything but relaxing. Driving 2,000 miles, sleeping in 4 different places, eating out every meal for a week – fun yes, but not restful. And that would be fine, except with the pressures of a new job, a MIL who is determined to self destruct right in front of us, the usual financial stressors, a week spent in classes and/or meetings 4 entire days last week – it all adds up to a woman who desperately needs time to unwind and decompress.
Right now, if I could do anything I wanted, I’d want to “piddle” (that’s southern for “putz around the house”). Hence my dilemma. Last week was crazy, and this week I desperately want and need a little quiet time. However, that doesn’t align with my vision of how I intended to spend time this summer. I was all excited about martial arts (and I still am), and my intention was to go to classes 5 days a week. It’s now been 3 weeks to the day since I set foot in the studio. This is still pretty far outside my comfort zone, and right now I desperately don’t want to be outside my comfort zone.
This internal struggle has led to a lot of overeating. Guilt because I’m not doing what I “should” (go to martial arts), frustration because my emotional and physical need to just quietly unwind at home is not being met, feeling like I’ve lost my motivation – there’s a lot of internal conflict (on top of everything else!), and I’ve been stuffing it down with food.
Every evening I have found excuses for not going. When I’m at home I’ve been super productive – I’ve gotten a lot of work done in the boy’s room (packrat + normal boy sloppiness = disaster), I’ve made a lot of progress on the Celtic knot work in the kitchen, and I’ve been enjoying playing around with the polymer clay. So – here’s my question: Should I A) give myself a pass on the martial arts for another week and just focus on 1) exercising in the mornings and 2) spending some quiet time in the evenings at home or B) give myself a kick in the pants and go to martial arts?
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4 comments:
If it were me I would go to martial arts class, it would be the only way to "get over it".
Go to the class. I have been doing the same thing with my running. I keep putting it off and off. I need to commit to 3x a week and that's it. Do the class and everything else will fall into place.
At least go to class a couple or three times a week. Comprimise is sometimes a good thing!
I'm going to buck the trend here. You probably would feel better if you go to the class. However, if you don't, I wouldn't stress about it. It will wait for you.
The way I look at it, you got select one goal as number one. Sometimes, going to a class relaxes me, but there are other times that my household conspires to make me a nervous wreck (and I don't even have a kid!!).
If you need some downtime, then you need some downtime. Maybe you schedule that -- like classes -- or maybe not, but you're more likely to get that time if you do schedule it. If downtime is the priority than really, you have to decide if you're going to piddle, do fimo, or do the classes, or how you'll divide the time. But it might be nice to chart some time -- like for the class -- and leave some other time open, to do whatever you feel like at the time.
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