Crime and punishment

At least it feels that way. Eating has remained dodgy and exercise has remained sporadic. I’ve been bouncing around a 5 pound range or so, but the upper limit of that feels like it’s just slightly above maximum acceptable limits.

Last night I decided to take a walk – the weather is pleasant still, I felt the need to move, and the dogs haven’t been walked in a while. So, by the half mile mark my back was screaming. It was awful. I felt like I was reaping the reward of my lousy eating and subsequent weight gain.

Why? Do I somehow feel that if I don’t take care of my body I’m thumbing my nose at aging? Am I saying, “Look at me! I can treat my body like crap and it’ll take it just as well now as it did at 25!” Only the reality is that it won’t.

I have to make permanent changes. I got so close to goal and had such a solid exercise regime…. Why did I throw it all away?

I’d walk more in the neighborhood, but it is simply too painful. I guess I need to seriously curtail the eating and really clean it up, and use the elliptical at the gym until I’ve dropped 10 or so pounds and then hopefully I can hit the street more often. This is crap.