Flow like water, bend like leaf

I think one of the plus sides of getting older is perspective.

It's no secret that the past month I've been extremely stressed.  I gained 3.4 pounds (not a huge deal), and some of my healthy eating & exercise habits faltered.  I am getting back on track.

I guess the thing is that when you are 47 and you choose to bury your nose in a book, you know things are very stressful, but it is also easier to recognize that you will move beyond them, that those things won't last forever.

Over this past weekend I really felt like I had turned a corner and was reclaiming my balance, and then this thing with my stepdad happened. 

Mostly I feel terrible for my son.  As it was with me, his grandparents are almost like a second set of parents to him.  I felt that way about my mom's parents as well.  For him, losing his grandpa will seem more like losing a father.  They are so close, and he is so young.

I'm not saying that's it.  There is a new drug the doctors are going to try.  He is at Duke, getting some of the best treatment available in the world.  But the reality is he has an incurable form of aggressive cancer.  There is no "you are cancer free" at the end with non-Hodgkins lymphoma.  We were hoping for a longer remission period, but that doesn't mean that we are out of options.  And my stepdad is very positive and upbeat and is going to do his best to live as long and full life as possible.

I just wish I were closer to be more support. 

Yesterday was tough, but I did go to the gym.  I didn't do much, but I went.  Sometimes all you can do is continue.