It might be a beautiful day in the neighborhood, but it still felt a bit like “Nightmare on Elm Street”

You know the old saying, “If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong”? Uh, yeah. My weekend was pretty much a comedy of errors.

Let’s see….. It all started Friday when I arrived home to world war 3. Boy’s friend wasn’t able to come over that day. Boy thought hauling old wood sounded crappy. Husband threatened to take away new phone (boy was working to earn money to pay for phone). Boy called grandma to complain about his cruel treatment. Exhausted mommy puts on grubby clothes to haul away lumber – after working all day and doing the grocery shopping for the week. Work till dusk. Much wood hauled away, boy finally helping. Family tired. Go out for dinner at pizza joint around corner. Pay stupid amount of money for good food & lousy service. Mommy is bitter at spending money we can’t really afford, only to leave place in such a lousy mood. Mommy goes home and falls asleep, too tired to bathe.

Saturday dawns bright and early. Mommy wakens family early, providing healthy breakfast. Why the early start? So the remaining wood can get hauled away before husband’s hired carpenter assistant and the lumber arrive! Boys tossed out back door, hand dogs down to husband. (Airlifting dogs through the back door is common theme of weekend).

Grubby mommy finally gets bathe, decides to go get toenails painted before running errands and cleaning house. Mommy comes home to world war 4. Everyone is inside cleaning house. All wood is hauled to garbage pile, nothing to do but wait to helper. Hub has boy helping clean house. Boy throw fit because he doesn’t want to vacuum the entry haul. Boy throw s fit because he doesn’t want his room vacuumed. Mommy yells louder than everyone. Takes boy & friend, shoves in car, drives away to run errands. Mommy gives boy a piece of her mind.

Mommy returns home from errands and gives boys to hub to help dig holes. Doesn’t digging holes help build character? Holes dug, men go off to get lunch while mommy cleans house.

But wait! You may be wondering, when does the construction part start? Where is the lumber? Excellent question! Wish we had an answer!

Hub returns from picking up sandwich. He is twitching. Lowe’s said the stuff would be delivered after lunch. Storm clouds are gathering. Hub is nearing aneurism. Dogs wonder why they can’t get in house. Mommy notices cold beer in fridge. Hey – the kitchen is clean. Isn’t that enough work for one day???? Leftover pizza goes good with beer. Maybe there’s a horror flick on sci-fi!

What is that loud noise I hear? Could it be? A delivery truck – huzzah! Wood is delivered, menfolk are relieved. As the men being opening up the bundled piles of lumber, the mommy continues to wash the 400 loads of laundry that have been carefully saved up all week.

That’s not so bad, you’re thinking. Yeah, it’s 2 pm on Saturday afternoon and the wood is just getting delivered. But the storm clouds aren’t too thick and you’ve got plenty of daylight. And you would be right. But I know something you don’t – the delivery was wrong!

The order contained items we didn’t need (but got delivered). The order contained items we did need but weren’t delivered. It was a mess. After sorting through the delivery, hub loaded up some of the stuff we didn’t need, found the receipt (isn’t he glad I keep those things?), and headed down to Lowe’s.

Now, you know what Lowe’s is like on a beautiful spring Saturday. Half the town was down there, looking for stuff to buy for some home improvement project. While hub had talked to a manager on the phone so they had a clue, it still took over 2 hours to get the mess straight. Hub returns home at 5:30 with Taco Bell and more beer.

Holes are dug, wood is sorted out, tacos are eaten. It’s the end of day one and not one stick of new wood is in place.

After “disaster Saturday”, Sunday is a bit of sanity. Hub’s buddy came back to help again. Other than the boys having to chase Chyna (aka “escape artist dog”) down the street while I followed madly in the minivan, the morning was fairly uneventful. I did a little more housework, and the boys got the began work on the underpart of the deck.

The goal was to have the decking boards on so we wouldn’t have to continue lifting the dogs in and out of the house all week, but that wasn’t happening. As the sun went down, the hub put up a set of temporary steps and we laid decking boards out for the dogs to use. The underpart was built, but that was as far as they got. It was dark as he put the last of the power tools away.

We still have to cement and fill in the holes before we can screw down the decking boards. The decking boards have to be cut and attached. The stairs need to be redone so they are permanent. The railing has to be put in. The roof needs to be put on the covered section. The lattice needs to be attached, and then we can accessorize.

How much longer will that take? Well, I dunno. As of right now, hub only has work for the next 2 days. He can use some time during the week if the weather holds out. It will take all of next weekend if we start back up Friday (excluding doing the finishing touches like flowers and the fountain).

It was a heck of a weekend. I want a nice quiet low key week please, so I can gear up for part 2 next week. Stay tuned…..