Panic attack
I made 2 mistakes this morning:
1. I got on the scale. I am up 2 pounds. This is just crazy. It feels like every time I get on the scale I’ve gained a pound or 2. I realized this morning that I have gained 18 pounds, and am 10 pounds away from my highest weight every. Just typing that makes me feel like I’m going to hyperventilate.
2. I grabbed a pair of pants out of the closet and wore them into work without really taking a hard look at them. I hadn’t worn them in a while, and didn’t think too much about it. I had to call my husband and ask him to bring me another pair because those looked so bad on me. You can’t imagine the humiliation in that. I am tearing up thinking about it.
I’ve spent this morning feeling like I can’t quite catch my breath because I am just in a panic. Part of me is thinking “That’s it! Nothing but protein shakes until I’m down 8 pounds!” Another part knows that isn’t logical, but oh my god I can’t stand this!
I know my exercise has been erratic and I know that my eating has been erratic too, but honestly, my behavior doesn’t seem that bad. But I guess it is. Right now I just feel like I don’t have any hope.
I know in the greater scheme of life this shouldn't be that big of a deal, but right now I just feel awful.
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4 comments:
Don't despair!! You've just come back from vacation & gone through all kinds of stresses!
The weather is getting nice which means all kinds of outside exercise, and you're working with a trainer! Loose pants are just around the corner!
Hang in there!
Virtual hugs!
It's funny you mention "my behavior doesn't seem that bad." I thought that for a long time and THEN I stepped on the scale on January 9th this year and saw that I gained quite a bit over the past 2 years. I couldn't believe it as I had pretty much given up cheese and ice cream and so many things I loved! The bottom line is, I don't lose or maintain my weight unless I am on top of the eating and exercising numbers BUMMER! Take a deep breath. Just try to change 1 thing every few weeks. That's what works for me. If I try to eat right and exercise and drink water and blah blah blah it all seems like too much. I always have to start small and build from there.
Take a deep breath and get back to the plan, don't let this setback get you down!
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