Food is Love

Let me tell you about my family, and why I grew up knowing this was true. My mom’s parents grew up in the country in SW Georgia during the depression. They didn’t go hungry, but they weren’t wealthy either. As a young couple, my granddad’s “treat” was a nickel so he could have a Coke with his sandwich at lunch.

My dad’s family. Well, they fled Germany before WWII after Hitler came to power. My great grandmother (Nana) lived in Germany between the wars. I bet she was familiar with hunger. Not to mention what its like to flee your homeland with not much more than three little kids. When we would go to visit her, she would weigh me every day. She taught me to make rouladen & other German foods. And she taught me an appreciation of fine cold cuts and brats that served me well when I lived in Berlin.

Both of my grandmothers were also excellent cooks. My mom’s mother (Monie) was quite good at “plain old country cooking” – fried chicken, salmon patties, vegetables from my uncle’s garden. And the best homemade peach ice cream you’ve ever eaten. She also loved seafood. When my cousin & I were kids, we’d go and spend a month camping (in a trailer) at the beach with my grandparents. They had a small freezer they’d take, full of food for the trip. We’d go crabbing, shrimping, and fishing every day. By the end of the month we’d have that freezer full of seafood for the winter. Monie made an excellent seafood quiche, and excellent crab dip too. My fondest childhood memories all take place on Edisto Island.

But my dad’s mom – wow! Grandma Betty is the only person I know who not only subscribes to “Bon Appetit”, but regularly cooks things out of it! She makes a killer strawberry rhubarb pie. A far more sophisticated cook than Monie, she made a lot of roasted geese, lamb, creamed green onions etc when I was growing up. Dinner at her place always involved a good wine and incredible food. After my granddad died, she supplemented her income by selling her soups, breads, & pies to friends & acquaintances.

And my mom? Well, a single mom who works full time doesn’t have a lot of time to cook, and honestly it isn’t her thing anyway. She indulged my childish taste buds on mac & cheese, frozen pizza, McD’s etc. She didn’t feed me crappy – I’m sure there were plenty of veggies in there too. But it was usually the kind of stuff a kid loves.

My poor mom – I loved to cook as a child. Both grandmothers tried to give me a good foundation in the fine art of cooking. I experimented quite a bit at home, with varying degrees of success! Over the years I have become quite a good cook myself, and I love to cook. I am proud to say I put a sit down dinner on the table for my family nearly every week night. It is rare we go out to dinner during the week.

My cooking is pretty varied. I try to make healthy meals using plenty of fresh vegetables. Because I cook on a budget, I tend not to have a big hunk of meat in the starring role, although I do believe protein is very important. But when my husband and I first married, I knew his favorite meal was steak, mashed potatoes, and creamed spinach. We ate a lot more meat and a lot more potatoes back then! Over the past three years, my dinners have become a lot healthier. That has helped us both trim down - some.

But I still believe that food is love. That can be a bad thing “Sorry you hurt your knee honey. Want an ice cream sandwich?” or a good thing “I care enough to sit down and enjoy a healthy, well prepared meal with you and listen to what you have to say.” I am guilty of using food as a reward – when my son was struggling with timed math at school, his reward for completing a section (every few months) was dinner at the restaurant of his choice. (That was his idea). But I am fortunate that my kid loves the food I make and adores vegetables – no leftover steamed broccoli or tomato pie in our house!

My husband has a lot of the same “food values” I do, for slightly different reasons. Suffice it to say, we are both very much in the habit of using food as both reward and comfort. He recognizes what he is doing, but changing those kind of ingrained behaviors is tough. We’re working on it.

Healthy food, prepared well can occur during the week. I believe sitting down and sharing a home cooked meal is an important part of the day. And frankly I like my cooking a lot! I have a pretty extensive list of meals that can be prepared in the crockpot or in about 30 minutes. A few things (like Nana’s rouladen) take a little longer and those get relegated to weekend nights.

My husband appreciates my efforts in the kitchen as much as (or more maybe) than my son. He has come to love German cuisine as much as I do, and that is a big treat for my family. But he also appreciates that I am trying to keep our meals healthy, with a focus on healthy fats, lean meats, and plenty of fresh vegetables.

I don’t consider myself “obsessed” with food. When I’m busy eating is something I enjoy, but don’t give a lot of thought to. I plan my food so that I am truly hungry the next time I sit down for a meal or a snack. It’s when I’m bored, tired, or stressed that I turn to food. More and more I’m figuring out the price to pay for that behavior is too high.

But I won’t go on a “diet” or eliminate foods. I generally eat things that aren’t as healthy sparingly, and try to stay away from processed food as much as possible. But no food is forbidden. I don’t even strictly count calories. Instead I am for roughly 900 calories during the day, and then have a reasonable portion of a fairly healthy dinner. This works for me as long as I limit my post dinner snacks and don’t get too out of whack on the weekend.

It has taken me a long time to lose the weight I have. Losing weight isn’t that hard – its figuring out why you gained weight, what your values are, what you are willing to do, and generally changing your mindset that are the tough parts. At least that has been my experience.