Down 1.4 pounds this morning - happy birthday to me! :-)

It's my Friday

Tomorrow is my birthday and I am taking a couple of days off work. The plan is to do some stuff around the house (I will get my craft stuff organized and the project room looking like a real room and not a junk landing zone!) and go snorkeling at John Pennekamp state park in Key Largo. Hopefully the house will be looking better, the boy will have a weight training plan and will have gone to the gym for a first run through, and shopping and food prep and the usual will be done.

We are also going to do a bit of work in the front yard. Other exciting activities include making kale chips (this is a great way to eat kale) and another attempt at crackers. My first batch was a success, but a bit brittle. My second batch is just weird. I need a happy medium.

Today would normally be AMP class but Jeff has a doctor appointment so class was cancelled. He’ll be making it up later in the week, but I won’t be there. Since I did kettlebells yesterday, my plan for the day was to do step aerobics. It’s fairly high intensity and I can do it at work on my lunch break. I need to help with chemistry tonight so there won’t be time for me to go to the gym just yet. But that’s ok – I have time. Hub went yesterday and did weight training.

Dinner last night was interesting. I tried making lasagna with sliced unbreaded baked eggplant in place of noodles. I cut the eggplant too thin for one. And I didn’t think about the fact that noodles absorb moisture – it came out a little runny (isn’t that a gross sounding word?). It tasted really good – just needs more thinker cut veggies in place of the noodles and to remove some of the liquid. Hub really didn’t miss the noodles – just the Italian bread alongside. But we had a huge salad prior to the lasagna so he was certainly full.

Tonight is baked fish with roasted broccoli, zucchini, and fingerling potatoes. There are things I miss making – like sloppy joes and chili mac. Part of what makes this tough is that hub genuinely has no idea what foods are carbs, so I’m always having to explain why we need to cut back on certain things. I guess we’ll get up the learning curve.

Pool time happened yesterday afternoon. I love pool time.

Things I like about living in Florida:

I never had any idea how many types of palm trees there are. Some are amazing. Very neat.

Grrr

Let’s just say things have been tough around the casa. The boy is having a hard time dealing with his grandpa’s cancer. Hub is having a hard time dealing with long term unemployment and diabetes has really just kicked him while he’s down. Luckily he’s had a couple of good friends to talk to and that has helped.

But there is some good news. His aunt has diabetes and has gone the diet & exercise route to manage it, and so he can talk to her rather than his mom as an example. (Well, his mom makes an excellent example of what not to do.) The gym opened and we went yesterday – it’s really nice and really cheap. ($10 per month per person). I made an awesome dinner yesterday: roast turkey tenderloin, roasted asparagus and green beans, fresh corn on the cob, with mixed berries for dessert.

Today's workout: 463 kettlebell swings.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging

Down another half pound – that’s 3 for the week and all I gained around my grandmother’s memorial and that trip. So that’s done. I hate going in the wrong direction, but I’m glad I nipped it in the bud at 3 pounds.

Today is Friday (yay!): workout with Jeff was shoulders and triceps and legs. Monday I am bringing in my new kettlebell video since he asked me if I would bring it in so he could try it with me. I am going to the beach tomorrow.

So, hub has diabetes. I’ve been concerned about his weight ever since we met & married. He could always stand to lose a little weight. When I say “a little” I mean maybe 40-50 pounds, which sounds like a lot but for a 6’4” man it’s probably like 20 pounds to me. Which is a lot, but not “a lot”. Anyway. Over the past couple of years and especially with last years’ stress he added upward of 60 pounds to that. So not good – now we’re to “a lot”. I’ve asked him to work on it, but he simply hasn’t been ready.

Well, now he’s ready. This diagnosis hit him as nothing else has, having watched both his grandparents suffer the consequences of diabetes. He came home ready to change. The next day we tossed his white bread and he bought sneakers. So I am happy for him but I am also scared for him. He is determined to do this with exercise and food, which I know he can do, but as the person who shops and cooks it puts a lot of pressure on me. Luckily his blood sugar is just into the type 2 diabetes category, so I think he can turn this around pretty quickly.

The gym we joined hasn’t opened yet, I want to call tomorrow and find out what the status is. So hopefully that will be up and running soon. Also, it is a bit cool but we can get in the pool so afternoon swim is on the schedule!

I have been reading Diana Schwarzbein’s book on reversing diabetes and I have placed a hold on Mark Hyman’s book on the subject with the library. Basically, both doctors advocate a largely unprocessed, near paleo diet (that is MY description). Limited dairy and grains, heavy on meat and greens. It’s a big change – as big as I think he can handle in one go. I can’t throw it all out right away – he won’t do it. But he’s committed to giving up soda, milk, and all but Ezekiel bread. That’s a huge start. Add regular exercise to that and I think it goes a long way to making a difference. This is a guy who loves his junk food.

There are a lot of days I’d like to pack my dogs in the car and drive back to NC to my mommy’s house. That’s the truth. I’m at an age where I don’t want to wish my time away – I feel like it’s going quickly enough already. But lord this is hard.

Wednesday

Monday I sucked it up and went to Weight Watchers after a 3 week absence. It wasn’t really intentional, it was just that between things getting hectic at work (I go to an ‘at work’ meeting) and being out of town, I just hadn’t gotten there. I was up 1.5 pounds from my last visit – that is already back off.


Monday Jeff basically did an AMP class for 3 of us – mostly legs. Ouch in a good way. I also did kettlebells on Monday. Jeff asked me how many swings I had done and I didn’t know (I hadn’t added it up). The answer is: 263 swings with the 18 pound (my lighter) kettlebell. I’m not even sore from doing that anymore! Next week I am adding another rotation. Woot! Jeff asked if I’d bring in my kettlebell and video so he can try the workout.

I’ve been walking every morning (I did take this morning off – hub got home late so my sleep was interrupted so I slept in until 5:30), I walked last evening, and yesterday I did yoga. This is not gentle stretching yoga – it’s power yoga, so it’s a bit of a workout. But even if it wasn’t, stretching and flexibility are important, and I find I need it even more when I am lifting weights.

Today was amp class again – yay! We did upper body today - 300 reps for each of back, chest, and biceps. The boy has a big chemistry assignment to do tonight, so that will probably take up most of my evening after supper. Tomorrow I need to do my mom’s taxes.

Food this week:

Breakfast is a veggie & egg white omelet.

Lunch is a greek salad with grilled chicken , boiled egg, feta cheese, and lots of veggies (brought from home so everything is measured)

Snacks are 3 bean salad and a couple of homemade crackers (seeds and water and spices). Today I am so full from my salad I never ate the 3 bean salad.

Dinner tonight was salmon, baked potato, and broccoli.

My thought for today: I have it in me. I can make the changes I want, have the life I want, create a vision for my future and make it happen. Sometimes I get to busy with the day to day I lose sight of my vision. Sometimes I get so caught up in the vision that I want to be there and not do the work necessary to get there. It feels boring to go out every morning at dark – joining a running club or doing a run sounds more fun. But the baby steps are necessary, as I keep reminding myself. Life goes more quickly than we think, if we don’t enjoy the process it’ll be over and we’ll be wondering where it went!

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not. But remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

I am reading Tosca Reno’s “Eat Clean recharged” and 2 of her cookbooks, courtesy of the library. The book is good, but it’s one I’d read once and be done probably. The cookbooks have some good sounding recipes. I always like to preview books when I can – my book habit is bad enough! But one of the cookbooks in particular I may end up buying.

I love you Monie

Today is the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death. Mom and I cried at breakfast.  I loved her and my granddad so much and I am a better person for having had them inmy life.

The break-up

Good-bye melatonin.

I began taking you back when I suffered some regular insomnia.  You were very helpful.  But lately I've noticed my energy seems low.  Yesterday I took 3 naps!  (That's crazy).  I've been sleeping pretty well - maybe I don't need you?

Sure enough, one night without you and I woke up, feeling rested and (dare I say?) energetic.  I walked and did kettlebells and juiced and made breakfast prior to grocery shopping!  It's after lunch and I haven't had a nap!! It's like a miracle.

I'll hang onto it in case a patch of insomnia hits, but I must be making enough melatonin on my own thanks.

Weight has been the same the past couple of days (grr).  Breakfast was egg and tomato on half a hollowed out bagel, lunch was some sweet potato alongside sauteed zucchini and chicken breast.  Dinner is homemade chicken soup with matzo balls.

Today is housework and helpinng the boy with schoolwork.  We are going in the pool this afternoon.

Argh

Last night I got home, checked email etc while dinner cooked, ate, then went to my hair appointment. I must have been tired because I was falling asleep in the chair! After that I helped the boy with math and chemistry. At that point, I was toast. I had a couple of crackers with pimento cheese and spaced in front of the tv for an hour or so before hitting the sack.

My plan was to get up at 5 for a walk. So didn’t happen. Turns out the alarm was set for 6 instead of 5 and I didn’t check it before bed! It was really windy and rain was on the way when I got up, which would have been okay. But given how hard I slept, I think I needed to catch up on rest.

Anyway, got up, weighed (up 0.4 pounds), got dressed, made omelets for myself and the boy, heated up a cup of coffee, and boogied on in to work. I bought tea to go with breakfast – black unsweetened tea. Which would be okay except they don’t make it fresh like the cafeteria in NC – it’s one of those machines you see in fast food places sometimes that dispense “tea”. Not very good.

In the morning I also get a big cup of hot water to brew myself green tea for lunch. I guess I could brew some tea for breakfast in the afternoon and leave it on my desk overnight, but that would be a hassle. I could bring in a bottle of tea from home, which would save me money AND taste better, if I can remember it of course.

Today was a somewhat busy day at work with meetings and WW is at 1, except they had moved the meeting and I didn’t know where. Yes, I know how lame that sounds but it’s true! I prefer the Monday time and leader, but I missed 2 weeks being out of the office already and I needed to get my butt to a meeting. Oh well, I will continue to keep on, with or without a meeting this week.

Workout with Jeff was pretty good yesterday – mainly upper body: chest, back, biceps. Not the best class we’ve ever had, but it was enjoyable. I may try to do kettlebells this evening am going to do kettlebells this evening. I can knock out 20 minutes while the soup simmers, eat, and then get on homework with the boy. No excuses. Dinner tonight is chicken soup with matzo balls (one of the boy’s favorite meals) and roasted green beans from the CSA box on the side.

Breakfast was the same omelet, lunch is the same salad. I didn’t juice this morning since I was running late (normal juice these days is carrot, celery, cucumber, apple, ginger). I had some of my handy dandy raw almonds in my desk for a morning snack. We went to a “breakfast” this morning with our VP’s new boss. I had water and a bit of fruit – a couple of grapes, a couple of half slices of strawberry, and a couple slices of pineapple and watermelon. It was pretty easy to pass by the pastries and bagels actually.

I need a nap.

Another day

Down another pound today – woot! I’m still up 0.8 pounds from pre-trip, but three are gone and I’m headed in the right direction. I’m definitely not perfect, there are still times I turn to food. But I will say it has gotten MUCH better and I continue to make progress. I read blogs of folks who make this change and it seems like they never waver. I wish I could be that person, but I’m not. I do waver, I don’t make perfect choices. But once I get going in the right direction, it is easier to stay in that direction. Having an accountability partner of sorts in our personal trainer is so helpful.

The guys are headed to NC today. Hub took care of a few things around the house before they left and I made several phone calls (oral surgeon appointments, mailing of tax return, blah blah) so I’m feeling pretty well caught up. House is largely in order, so I’m thinking Mom and I will head to Naples for a half day at the beach this weekend. Yay! Another round of organization will be coming soon after I’ve bought some storage for the project room (aka toxic waste dump).

Today is AMP class (athletic mobility performance, if I haven’t put that before). I bailed last week – I was feeling lousy (allergies) so I am excited to be back. Yesterday was yoga and walking. I may also do kettlebells today – we’ll see how dead I am after AMP. I also have a haircut scheduled for this evening – it’s starting to get shaggy. I’ve always had my hair long for the most part, but I am enjoying having it short.

This morning I added half a small avocado to my breakfast omelet, lunch is the same, and dinner is eggplant parmesan and a salad. And I always have my baggie with raw unsalted almonds in my desk. The nice thing is that they don’t trigger me to eat a million – just a few hits the spot.

Change of subject: Why can’t I quit some blogs?

There are some blogs I read regularly (Pioneer Woman Cooks being an excellent example). Yes, she has some relatively healthy recipes but a lot of it could come out of the kitchen of Paula Deen. I find myself getting sucked in by the food porn, when in fact I don’t want to feed myself or my family that way. Yet I can’t seem to look away. And it sounds good. I wonder if it always will?

I am reading a book I got from the library (love the “Friends of the Library” room with the cheap books – if you don’t like it just take it back!) called “The Schwarzbein Principle”. It’s a few years old, but I never read it, although I do remember checking out her web site in the past. Anyway, I’m up to chapter 4 and the message seems to be “Eat real food, not too much, in balance.” Which is a message that could be from “Eat Clean” or Michael Pollan or anyone Paleo, or even a lot of vegans who advocate whole real foods, although without the meat obviously.

I did have a glass of soda this morning. I am going to try not buying any at the store next week, but my mom does enjoy it from time to time. I was in a rush to get out of the house and didn’t take time to heat up a cup of coffee. But I didn’t buy another one to go with my breakfast – progress, not perfection.

Thought of the day: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're always right."

All in all, a good day

Day started off like many BAU days: alarm going off at 5 am. Up, used bathroom, dressed, off for a 1.5 mile brisk walk. Home, showered, weighed. Still up 1.8 pounds from trip. Then off to the kitchen. I am trying to kick the diet pepsi habit (let’s face it, a glass full off chemicals isn’t good for you, even if it doesn’t have calories). I would have liked a cup of coffee (this is a new habit to replace the soda). Sadly, I don’t actually know how to make coffee, and my mom didn’t wake up before time for me to leave. Oh well. I had a little bit of leftover iced tea (unsweetened of course, I’m sweet enough already. Ha ha!)

(How sad did that last bit sound?  No, my mom doesn't live with me and I don't live with my mom!  Well, just for a few months while she flees winter...).


I drank the tea while I made the morning carrot ginger apple cucumber juice for me, hub, & mom. Next up green smoothie with 1 frozen banana, 1 mango, about 1 cup frozen mixed fruit, chia seeds, flax seeds, green powder, and then filled blender to top with baby spinach, then added water. Remember, that’s for 3 adults, I’m not downing 3 servings of fruit first thing in the morning!

I drank that while I worked on breakfast: I chopped a red bell pepper and a red onion. Placed them in a zip-loc and scooped out a couple of spoons to sauté. I added a diced tomato, some cilantro, and ½ cup egg beaters. These are okay but my god they have like 100 million ingredients! Plain egg or egg whites going forward.

I packed lunch: 3 cups chopped veggies (mainly cabbage), a diced roasted chicken thigh (no skin), and some curry dressing I made based on Fage greek yogurt. I also packed my portion of the juice for afternoon snack.

Do you see a problem? Breakfast was quite big but had no fat – I ended up really hungry! I had 12 almonds for a snack, then 12 more before yoga. Since I had yoga at lunch I knew I would be eating lunch late.

Yoga was good and the trainer here at work gave me a couple of basic upper body routines for the boy to do at the new gym. The trainer (J) is a really nice guy who is passionate about his work. I thought that was super thoughtful!

Dinner is build your own nachos, but mine will be on baked corn tortillas (build your own tostadas I guess for me), and extra homemade guacamole but no cheese. I love guacamole and would much rather have that for my fat than cheese!

Food is all plugged in and tallied up.

Hub had a busy day seeing about termite prevention, getting A/C checked (needs some minor repairs), and a few chores. He & my stepbrother leave tomorrow morning for my mom’s house for a few days to finish up a couple of things for her and a quick visit with his mom before he going back to work for the temp agency.

My low back is slightly sore and my legs are definitely feeling the kettlebell workout I did yesterday. Ouch! But mostly in a good way. The low back reminds me to keep good form!

Back and back at it

So, the trip was pretty good.  A lot of time in the car and not a lot of down time, but it was good.  My grandmother's memorial was very nice.  I was in a bit of a daze - it's hard to believe she's gone.

Things have been very busy since I got back - both at work and at home, not to mention trying to get back into my exercise routine, which had slipped a little between travel and getting ready to go out of town.

We joined a gym today!  It's $10 per month per person, so I felt like that was a reasonable price.  There's not a minimum time you have to belong, so if it turns out some people aren't using their membership, we can drop it. I'm a little skeptical about both hub and son, but I'm willing to give it a shot for a couple of months.

We have a great fitness center at work (as I've mentioned before), but no cardio equipment.  This new gym (YouFit) has LOADS of cardio equipment, as well as free weights.  And good hours, so I'm hopeful this will allow me to get in some killer cardio sessions on the elliptical.

Also, I ordered Tracy Reifkind's swing video (the one that's a workout), and did 2/3 of it for the first time today.  It's tough!  In a good way.  I also ordered her book and read it in the car.  Very good.  I made an awesome "Tracy style" salad for lunch today  - loads of veggies, a piece of grilled chicken, and a yummy curry dressing.  It's portioned out and ready to go for lunches for the week.

Tonight's dinner was a really good meal that used the eggplant, bok choy, and mushrooms from the CSA box.  It was a korean stir fry with chicken.  Again yum, but I will admit I'm a little hungry and will probably eat something light in a few minutes.  I hate waking up in the middle of the night hungry.  It's hard to not overeat at 2 am.  Having a little something a couple hours prior to bed works better for me.  I had an appointment at 6 with the counselor so we had to eat ealy.

The appt was good - it's really helped me with adjusting to the move.

Hub actually finally got an old laptop set up for me.  (I had the desktop but it died).  So I have my own computer again.

Hopefully my own computer will mean more posting.  I've been doing pretty good - I've lost 20 pounds!  But I've been stalled the past couple of weeks and it's time to kick it up a notch.  So, ratcheting up the eating (more junk getting the boot) - diet Pepsi, I'll miss you! Ratcheting up the exercise (hello elliptical, my old friend).

Good things happening, taking steps to deal with stressors.  Some not so good stuff too (the boy is back with an old girlfriend - luckily she's still 800 miles away, but he wants her to come down for the summer. Uhh.....), but all in all, things are going along.

Headed to NC

We are headed to NC at the end of the week for my grandmother's memorial.  Thankfully, my dad won't be in attendance.

I am looking forward to a couple days off work and the trip.  I think I am also a little nervous, I've been overeating a bit this weekend.

In spite of that, Weight Watchers is going well and I am losing weight.  Fitness is progressing, and overall I'm feeling good.

This morning I took a couple hours vacation and went to a fabulous estate sale with my mom.  We both came away with some wonderful things, didn't pay too much, and had a grand time.

Hub is working long days, 7 days a week, trying to get a job finished on a tight deadline.  The money certainly helps out, but it also means things like taking the big dogs to the park aren't happening.

Work is pretty stressful right now, and I'm not sure what to do about it.  Right now I'm just trying to keep a positive outlook.  There are things I can do, I just need to think about things.

Overall I'd say things are improving,  money is a little better, hub is working (even if its temp) so that helps his attitude.  Things got pretty rough for a while.  He doesn't like Florida (it has to do with some bad family stuff that happened when he was in his early 20s), and he was pretty bitter about moving down here.  We've come awfully close to splitting up a couple of times, and with the work and money pressure .. well, it's been rough.  But I think we've gotten over the worst.  At least I hope so.  But I know in my heart that the boy and I will always be okay.

Mom and I are headed to the Everglades tomorrow, so I am taking a break from sewing curtains!  Only 1 more and I'm done!!! :-)

Poor, neglected blog

I am busy living life, losing weight, working out, doing some sight seeing, working on my house, helping my son wiht schoolwork.  In the evenings I rarely seem to find both time & energy to sit at the computer to do more than a quick check on my personal email.

Hub is working a temp job so that's great news - it has really helped his spirits.  The boy is getting good grades.  He & his uncle had a nice time in NC - my step brother is staying with us for a while working with hub and visiting. 

I still have a lot of mixed emotions about my grandmother's celebration of life service at the end of the month - about who else will be there family-wise that I don't really want to see, and about my relationship with her in the last couple of years of her life.  But I am going - for me & my mom, for my grandma, and hopefully to begin to build a relationship with my aunt.  I don't have high hopes, but I have hopes.

Weight is doing good, as is exercise.  I'm helping the boy get a week ahead on schoolwork so he can go up to NC, so it's been a crazy week.  I will update soon.

Today

Last year I gained 18 pounds due to stress eating.  I'm not proud of that fact, but it happened.  Today when I got on the scale,I had lost all that weight and then some.  That felt awfully good.

I have more to lose, but I am beginning to feel a lot better.

Weight Watcher report

2 more pounds gone.  Can I get a woot!?

Many things are going well - exercise & eating, planning & shopping, making good choices.  Work is kinda tough right now, I'm suffering from "What is the point?", which I guess is a kinda normal reaction, but I'll check with my counselor when I see her next week.

In the meantime, I keep making good choices and largely going along, feeling pretty grateful and happy.

Not good news on the co-worker front.  Stage 4 cancer.  Only 2 places in the country treat what she has.  Hopefully she'll be able to go to the one only 1.5 hours from where we used to live.

I so wanted a snack this afternoon - I went down to the cafe fully prepared to indulge.  I came back with a diet pepsi - nothing looked good.  Thank god.

A friend and co-worker has brain cancer.  I don't know what to say, but it is a very tough situation.  I feel rotten.

Other than that, life goes on.  I'm walking, lifting weights, doing yoga, watching what I eat. Ya ya ya.

The boy is doing pretty well with the virtual school - he's having a tough time with Spanish, but other than that it's much better and he's a lot happier.  Hub has a couple more weeks of unemployment - he still hasn't found a full time job, so he'll be going back to the temp agency.  Money is going to be even tighter than it is now.  I hope we don't have to borrow from our retirement, but if we have to then that is what we do.

Like I said, there is still plenty of stress.  Hub remains depressed and it is difficult for both of us.  But you know that's life and we're managing and we'll be okay.

Tomorrow I'm meeting a work buddy for an early morningn workout.  Yay! 

Still here

I was out of town for a long weekend - we went to Georgia to visit my great aunt.  We had a lovely time as usual - the weather was cold & windy but sunny.  I scored a lovely ring and a necklace for a total of $19 at the antique store.  Woot!

I took it easy on exercise last week - I was feeling very sore and run down.  Nevertheless, the scale moved well - since I was less active I was more restrictive with food.

Anyway, blah blah but the scale continues it's downward move, which is a good thing.  I feel better, am coping better with stress, had a good review, and life moves forward.

I am looking forward to a quiet weekend here with my mom & th eboy out of town.