A Series of Unfortunate Events

Imagine if you will, watching a train. It's about to wreck - you see its about to wreck, but you are helpless to change it. Now change your perspective and see the same events, but you are on the train. Now change perspectives again and imagine yourself the conductor. A part of your brain knows you have the power to change the events in motion, yet a part of you is frozen and watches without taking action. There is my current food plan in a nutshell.

Yesterday's series of unfortunate events: 1) I exploded my oatmeal in the microwave. I brought in my lean turkey ham, thinking I would eat the Balance bar in my desk drawer with it. Instead I bought a biscuit to put it on. 2) An evil chubby girl possessed my body, took it upstairs, and bought a sugar cookie to go with my otherwise benign afternoon snack. At 95 cents, you know that cookie was the size of a dessert plate! 3) My family rose up in rebellion and declared they wanted to go out for dinner (okay, its been over a month since the family went out to eat dinner). Pizza was consumed - I did have the decency to order light cheese.

Why why why am I doing this to myself?