Time to move some metal

First off, thanks for the kind words – as always. This isn’t the kind of blog that gets a lot of traffic or a lot of comments, but I find a lot of support here. I appreciate it very much.

Right now my feelings are very raw and all in a jumble. The only way I feel like I can handle them is to hide behind some cheese dip and a frosty cold beverage. Sigh. I know that isn’t the best way, but right now I feel like I need a little time to create a little distance before I can get on with the work of dealing with the things we obviously need to address. It always comes down to my husband’s inability to communicate his feelings. I don’t know how to change that. I may not be able to. But we can’t keep having the same problems over and over. The cycle has to be broken – he agrees, but it doesn’t happen.

After work yesterday I just couldn’t stand the thought of going home right away, so I went shopping. This was probably a mistake. I bought a pair of jeans – size 14. Gross. I’m down to one pair of jeans that fit, and I can’t get through the winter with one pair of jeans. I also bought a shirt (on clearance) – a nice white one to wear to work, 3 pair of shoes (for Pennsic – they were like $7 apiece!), and a dozen washcloths. Those were $3.40! I have a thing for white washcloths – my theory is how do I know my face is clean if I’m using a colored washcloth? Hey – I used to only be able to use white towels also. I blame the Army for my towel weirdness.

I went home & ate Mexican for dinner. I feel like poo – I didn’t exercise at all yesterday, and I slept in this morning. The boy & I have a dermatologist appointment this afternoon – I’m hoping that after that I can squeeze in a trip to the gym at some point this evening. I feel like I’ve totally derailed even though its only been 1 day and Monday dinner. And I worked out Monday. I’ve got to baby step my way back to my good habits. They are like a rock. So why do I let go when I get stressed?