Good morning

Another night down.


I am making a good recipe for dinner that I found on nom nom paleo (I think).  Made a stir fry for breakfasts this week and making some korean inspired compliant soup to go with (or for) lunches.

I don't have much on the agenda today.  I am hanging in there, staying compliant.  For the most part I feel excellent physically.  Definitely having a tough time mentally.  I guess you don't change 30+ year old habits without some pain.

I read a really nice thing poking around the Whole 30 web site.  Everyone reads the whole "This is not hard.  Cancer is hard." manifesto, but they wrote another piece, just for people who have or do suffer from disordered eating that says "For you, this IS hard, but worth it."

It made me feel better to see in writing that yeah, this isn't just about physical changes - for some people this represents some pretty big mental changes.

I keep reminding myself that I NEED to do this - for my health, and that I am worth all the effort and I am so blessed to have a chance to do this at a time when I don't have to worry about cooking for anyone but myself.

Most of the day I don't even THINK about food.  I have my meals planned, I eat them, done.  It's that window between dinner and bed when I have nothing to do that is tough.  I watch movies.  I don't have a family to care for, or a house to keep up.  And in some ways that is so relaxing and refreshing, but its also a strange sort of half life to be away from your family, with time on your hands.  

So I come here and vent, then I put on my nightgown, brush my teeth, and tell myself I'm not going anywhere or eating anything else.:-)

I'll be back later to post food etc.

Have a good one!