Monday, March 12, 2007
Sleep, Interrupted
Monday already – amazing. My weekend was pretty nice! Here’s a list of thoughts, in no particular order.
1. Dog Land. Maya is the hub’s dog, Chyna is my dog. Chyna is doing pretty good, except for the fact that she will occasionally pee. I don’t know if she just doesn’t know how to ask to go out, or if it is intentional, but we’re working on it. Maya is going to have a steeper learning curve. For one, she thinks that she belongs on furniture. Uh, no. Both Friday and Saturday she decided to sleep in our room, right on the floor beside hub, on his clothes. That isn’t bad – but when he got up in the night to pee, she then jumped in the bed (onto Bess), terrorizing Bess, wreaking havoc, and waking the whole house up. Last night we put up the baby gate so she had to sleep in the living room. Sorry girl, but the mommy needs her sleep. And so does the daddy.
2. Food. I made some deals with myself. I knew that if I did my usual freak out about my weight that disaster would ensue. So, we didn’t go out to eat this weekend (amazing). I bought sushi at Costco for dinner Friday night (which I think is going to become a Friday ritual), and Saturday and Sunday we grilled out. I did do some snacking Friday and Saturday nights, but I limited myself to stuff at the house (popcorn, some lowfat chicken eggrolls in the freezer that I baked) – not good, but much better. The rest of my eating was good, and Sunday afternoon, which is a danger zone (tired, wanting to reward myself), we went to a movie. We split a medium popcorn (no butter), so that minimized the potential damage. Good progress!
3. Exercise. I logged 4 miles on the sneakers this weekend, and another 2 this morning. I may focus on bodyweight exercises for my weight training for a bit. I dunno. Because of the hub’s working out of town, getting to the gym may be difficult. I think I will set up a routine to keep in my back pocket. I finally loaded my first “Cardio Coach” cd on the MP3 player. Love it!
4. “300”. I have 2 or 3 sets of premium movie passes (they can be used for new releases). Since I figured by Sunday afternoon we would both be tired and want a break, we agreed that Sunday afternoon we would hit the movies. My husband was dying to go see “300”, so we did. First off, I am obviously spoiled by living in a small town with a theater that actually has reasonable prices. Four dollars for a medium Coke. Crazy! I’m glad we got in free at least! We both really enjoyed the movie. I was afraid that with all the CGI that it would feel more like a video game than a movie. And yes, at times it did. But I also thought it was really good. The notion that the Spartans were fighting for freedom is taking a pretty generous license with history though!
5. The bathroom remodel. The bathroom is coming along very well. The walls are painted, the cabinet is painted, the new light is installed, the tile is down on the countertop and surround (hub is grouting it today). We priced a new tub – we have decided to go ahead & replace the sink and toilet with new white ones, to be followed by a new white tub and tiling the floor to match the counter. I have all the accessories bought except a new shower curtain. I can’t wait to post pictures!
Monday already – amazing. My weekend was pretty nice! Here’s a list of thoughts, in no particular order.
1. Dog Land. Maya is the hub’s dog, Chyna is my dog. Chyna is doing pretty good, except for the fact that she will occasionally pee. I don’t know if she just doesn’t know how to ask to go out, or if it is intentional, but we’re working on it. Maya is going to have a steeper learning curve. For one, she thinks that she belongs on furniture. Uh, no. Both Friday and Saturday she decided to sleep in our room, right on the floor beside hub, on his clothes. That isn’t bad – but when he got up in the night to pee, she then jumped in the bed (onto Bess), terrorizing Bess, wreaking havoc, and waking the whole house up. Last night we put up the baby gate so she had to sleep in the living room. Sorry girl, but the mommy needs her sleep. And so does the daddy.
2. Food. I made some deals with myself. I knew that if I did my usual freak out about my weight that disaster would ensue. So, we didn’t go out to eat this weekend (amazing). I bought sushi at Costco for dinner Friday night (which I think is going to become a Friday ritual), and Saturday and Sunday we grilled out. I did do some snacking Friday and Saturday nights, but I limited myself to stuff at the house (popcorn, some lowfat chicken eggrolls in the freezer that I baked) – not good, but much better. The rest of my eating was good, and Sunday afternoon, which is a danger zone (tired, wanting to reward myself), we went to a movie. We split a medium popcorn (no butter), so that minimized the potential damage. Good progress!
3. Exercise. I logged 4 miles on the sneakers this weekend, and another 2 this morning. I may focus on bodyweight exercises for my weight training for a bit. I dunno. Because of the hub’s working out of town, getting to the gym may be difficult. I think I will set up a routine to keep in my back pocket. I finally loaded my first “Cardio Coach” cd on the MP3 player. Love it!
4. “300”. I have 2 or 3 sets of premium movie passes (they can be used for new releases). Since I figured by Sunday afternoon we would both be tired and want a break, we agreed that Sunday afternoon we would hit the movies. My husband was dying to go see “300”, so we did. First off, I am obviously spoiled by living in a small town with a theater that actually has reasonable prices. Four dollars for a medium Coke. Crazy! I’m glad we got in free at least! We both really enjoyed the movie. I was afraid that with all the CGI that it would feel more like a video game than a movie. And yes, at times it did. But I also thought it was really good. The notion that the Spartans were fighting for freedom is taking a pretty generous license with history though!
5. The bathroom remodel. The bathroom is coming along very well. The walls are painted, the cabinet is painted, the new light is installed, the tile is down on the countertop and surround (hub is grouting it today). We priced a new tub – we have decided to go ahead & replace the sink and toilet with new white ones, to be followed by a new white tub and tiling the floor to match the counter. I have all the accessories bought except a new shower curtain. I can’t wait to post pictures!
Friday, March 09, 2007
The truth is out there (in the sidebar)
So, I’ve gained 4 pounds. On the one hand I feel dreadful – huge, guilty, unattractive. On the other hand, I’m thinking “2 weeks of hard work and its gone girl!” I guess I’m glad to know, now I can just get to work for the 5 bazillionth time. The gym bag is in the car – enough said until I can talk about some progress!
Chyna has a nickname “My little pony.” For one, this is my dog. When hub calls her in or tells her to go outside, she tosses her mane and gallops away calling “Girl Power!” over her shoulder. Also, she prances like one of those horses (Leipzigs?) – with her long nose and flowing hair, the nickname fits.
Maya is a sweetie and seems to be recovering nicely from her surgery. She’s a good girl and loves to go outside. She has a bad habit of jumping up to see what is up on counters though. Given that she is currently confined to the kitchen & dining room, this means she is frequently caught checking out counters, dirty dishes in the sink, and the stove top. I have one of those flat glass stove tops, I’m afraid she’s going to burn her paw. When I give her a cookie, she tries to take half my hand. When hub offers her a cookie, she is a sweetheart. She loves us all, but she likes her men folk.
Butchie seems to be doing okay. He closely guards his toys – the other day when I handed out cookies he took his without dropping his toy. Chyna seems to like toys too, so I’m either going to have to keep a bunch or none. But he likes a woman to boss him about, so I think he’s gonna be fine.
Bess is just angry and bitter. She sulks on her sofa until hub grabs her up to snuggle with him. In the morning, she doesn’t want to get out of bed – it’s her retreat from the world. As I told my husband “the dog thy dog is a jealous dog.”
Yesterday was such a long day. I had to be at work at 6 am so I could leave in time to pick the boy up from school. I got up at 5, packed lunches & got ready, worked all day, picked him up, went home and we both worked on chores, took a short break then fixed supper, cleaned up from supper, and took him to tae kwon do. At 8 pm when it was time to help him study for his health test, I just broke down in tears from sheer exhaustion. I sat down, had a snack, watched a little tv, and went to bed. The good news is the snack was a fairly good choice and I was truly hungry, so it wasn’t out of control.
I am looking forward to a fairly quiet weekend. The weather looks to be pretty good, the boy is going to camp grandpa, and I will have a new bathroom!
Have a good one.
So, I’ve gained 4 pounds. On the one hand I feel dreadful – huge, guilty, unattractive. On the other hand, I’m thinking “2 weeks of hard work and its gone girl!” I guess I’m glad to know, now I can just get to work for the 5 bazillionth time. The gym bag is in the car – enough said until I can talk about some progress!
Chyna has a nickname “My little pony.” For one, this is my dog. When hub calls her in or tells her to go outside, she tosses her mane and gallops away calling “Girl Power!” over her shoulder. Also, she prances like one of those horses (Leipzigs?) – with her long nose and flowing hair, the nickname fits.
Maya is a sweetie and seems to be recovering nicely from her surgery. She’s a good girl and loves to go outside. She has a bad habit of jumping up to see what is up on counters though. Given that she is currently confined to the kitchen & dining room, this means she is frequently caught checking out counters, dirty dishes in the sink, and the stove top. I have one of those flat glass stove tops, I’m afraid she’s going to burn her paw. When I give her a cookie, she tries to take half my hand. When hub offers her a cookie, she is a sweetheart. She loves us all, but she likes her men folk.
Butchie seems to be doing okay. He closely guards his toys – the other day when I handed out cookies he took his without dropping his toy. Chyna seems to like toys too, so I’m either going to have to keep a bunch or none. But he likes a woman to boss him about, so I think he’s gonna be fine.
Bess is just angry and bitter. She sulks on her sofa until hub grabs her up to snuggle with him. In the morning, she doesn’t want to get out of bed – it’s her retreat from the world. As I told my husband “the dog thy dog is a jealous dog.”
Yesterday was such a long day. I had to be at work at 6 am so I could leave in time to pick the boy up from school. I got up at 5, packed lunches & got ready, worked all day, picked him up, went home and we both worked on chores, took a short break then fixed supper, cleaned up from supper, and took him to tae kwon do. At 8 pm when it was time to help him study for his health test, I just broke down in tears from sheer exhaustion. I sat down, had a snack, watched a little tv, and went to bed. The good news is the snack was a fairly good choice and I was truly hungry, so it wasn’t out of control.
I am looking forward to a fairly quiet weekend. The weather looks to be pretty good, the boy is going to camp grandpa, and I will have a new bathroom!
Have a good one.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Doing better, just please don’t make me get on the scale!
My stress levels continue to go down, I’m not sure my weight is following yet. Exercise is still elusive, but “snackin’ time!” is on the decline. I have to confess, I dread climbing on the scale tomorrow. I know I will want to beat myself up over such stupidity. But I have been avoiding it in fear for how many weeks now? If I want this to end, I need to know the damage. That way I can face it & move on.
This week my focus has been on finishing things up I have been dreading (I did our taxes for example), getting the new dogs settled, and that’s about all I’ve had time for. The boy’s friend came over again last night – he stayed for supper but did go home at bedtime. I made the boys walk Butchie and Chyna, so that was nice. I still haven’t had a chance this week to soak in a tub. I need it.
I am picking the boy up from school today and we are going to go home and do some housework, then schoolwork, then its time for supper and tae kwon do. But I’ll be going into the weekend with a house that isn’t a disaster. I also want to plan meals for the weekend (as opposed to grabbing whatever strikes my fancy). We aren’t doing anything other than putzing around the house, but it’s easier if healthy foods are available and planned in advance.
We are painting the bathroom – we aren’t huge fans of wallpaper to begin with, and I think that when you are planning to sell a house in the future, plain walls are a better option. We are painting it kind of a mustard color (I know!), the cabinet gloss black, (bear with me!), and the countertop is going to be slate tile. It has a tan tile floor now. We are going with an asian sort of design. We have some great accessories. I’ve seen asian designs use mustard and black and look really nice. Now, when we sell the house I will probably re-paint the walls a pale blue, but the asian will stay and it will look very tranquil. The boy picked the wall color. The walls are largely painted, we just have to touch up paint in places where the walls needed to be re-mudded and sanded.
My goals:
Get to the gym Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Have one “free” meal this weekend. One.
There are 2 beers in the fridge – one for me, one for hub. Not buy any more this weekend.
For better or scarier, I will post a weight update on the sidebar tomorrow. (Cue the funeral march....)
My stress levels continue to go down, I’m not sure my weight is following yet. Exercise is still elusive, but “snackin’ time!” is on the decline. I have to confess, I dread climbing on the scale tomorrow. I know I will want to beat myself up over such stupidity. But I have been avoiding it in fear for how many weeks now? If I want this to end, I need to know the damage. That way I can face it & move on.
This week my focus has been on finishing things up I have been dreading (I did our taxes for example), getting the new dogs settled, and that’s about all I’ve had time for. The boy’s friend came over again last night – he stayed for supper but did go home at bedtime. I made the boys walk Butchie and Chyna, so that was nice. I still haven’t had a chance this week to soak in a tub. I need it.
I am picking the boy up from school today and we are going to go home and do some housework, then schoolwork, then its time for supper and tae kwon do. But I’ll be going into the weekend with a house that isn’t a disaster. I also want to plan meals for the weekend (as opposed to grabbing whatever strikes my fancy). We aren’t doing anything other than putzing around the house, but it’s easier if healthy foods are available and planned in advance.
We are painting the bathroom – we aren’t huge fans of wallpaper to begin with, and I think that when you are planning to sell a house in the future, plain walls are a better option. We are painting it kind of a mustard color (I know!), the cabinet gloss black, (bear with me!), and the countertop is going to be slate tile. It has a tan tile floor now. We are going with an asian sort of design. We have some great accessories. I’ve seen asian designs use mustard and black and look really nice. Now, when we sell the house I will probably re-paint the walls a pale blue, but the asian will stay and it will look very tranquil. The boy picked the wall color. The walls are largely painted, we just have to touch up paint in places where the walls needed to be re-mudded and sanded.
My goals:
Get to the gym Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Have one “free” meal this weekend. One.
There are 2 beers in the fridge – one for me, one for hub. Not buy any more this weekend.
For better or scarier, I will post a weight update on the sidebar tomorrow. (Cue the funeral march....)
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Pure insanity
I am still alive and well, living in my lovely home we have dubbed “Dog Land.” We adopted 2 dogs. Maya is a sweetie and loves us. But I saw Chyna and she stole my heart. She is a beautiful collie mix (she looks like Lassie, but solid ginger colored), who hadn’t gotten adopted because of her age (she’s 8). I dreamed about her, and I knew I had to get her. So, we now have 4 dogs. We would be venturing near “crazy dog people” status, but Bess is only 12 pounds, so she’s not like a real dog. More like a “bonus" dog (25% more free!), or a bed warmer.
The new crew is settling in pretty well. Things would be going smoother except my mom is in Florida and we were sitting for her 2 dogs. This, however, did not work. Her dog Lulu was terrified of Chyna and growled at her all the time. I woke up yesterday at 5 am to a doggie rendition of “Fight Club.” So, after discussing it with her (my mom, not the dog), we called her regular dog sitter and he is coming over this evening. I took her dogs over to her house on my way in to the office this morning.
The weekend was pretty decent, and I did manage to make a small dent into the mountain that is my stress. Eating has been as erratic as exercise. I do not feel like I am holding my own. I do feel like I am improving. This week has been hectic – out sick Monday, catching up and working late yesterday, boy had a friend spend the night last night (friend’s mom was in the hospital with chest pains).
We are also juggling some schedule changes. My husband signed a contract on enclosing a carport! It’s a month long job, so that’s great news! The not so great news is that its an hour away. We are looking to try & arrange a 4 by 10 schedule to keep gas costs down. The people are cool with that. The thing is that my son gets picked up from school at 2:45, so I may need to be a bit flexible with my work schedule so my mom isn’t picking him up every day. Frankly, I’m just thrilled he’s working.
The wallpaper came off successfully and the paint is up in our hall bathroom. We need to make more progress as the shower still isn’t usable. Hopefully this weekend. I think its going to look really nice, but of course it is taking stupid long to finish.
Anyway, hopefully the schedule will settle back down so that exercise returns to the realm of possibility.
I am still alive and well, living in my lovely home we have dubbed “Dog Land.” We adopted 2 dogs. Maya is a sweetie and loves us. But I saw Chyna and she stole my heart. She is a beautiful collie mix (she looks like Lassie, but solid ginger colored), who hadn’t gotten adopted because of her age (she’s 8). I dreamed about her, and I knew I had to get her. So, we now have 4 dogs. We would be venturing near “crazy dog people” status, but Bess is only 12 pounds, so she’s not like a real dog. More like a “bonus" dog (25% more free!), or a bed warmer.
The new crew is settling in pretty well. Things would be going smoother except my mom is in Florida and we were sitting for her 2 dogs. This, however, did not work. Her dog Lulu was terrified of Chyna and growled at her all the time. I woke up yesterday at 5 am to a doggie rendition of “Fight Club.” So, after discussing it with her (my mom, not the dog), we called her regular dog sitter and he is coming over this evening. I took her dogs over to her house on my way in to the office this morning.
The weekend was pretty decent, and I did manage to make a small dent into the mountain that is my stress. Eating has been as erratic as exercise. I do not feel like I am holding my own. I do feel like I am improving. This week has been hectic – out sick Monday, catching up and working late yesterday, boy had a friend spend the night last night (friend’s mom was in the hospital with chest pains).
We are also juggling some schedule changes. My husband signed a contract on enclosing a carport! It’s a month long job, so that’s great news! The not so great news is that its an hour away. We are looking to try & arrange a 4 by 10 schedule to keep gas costs down. The people are cool with that. The thing is that my son gets picked up from school at 2:45, so I may need to be a bit flexible with my work schedule so my mom isn’t picking him up every day. Frankly, I’m just thrilled he’s working.
The wallpaper came off successfully and the paint is up in our hall bathroom. We need to make more progress as the shower still isn’t usable. Hopefully this weekend. I think its going to look really nice, but of course it is taking stupid long to finish.
Anyway, hopefully the schedule will settle back down so that exercise returns to the realm of possibility.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Coming soon – a new family member!
I am pleased to announce we will soon have a new addition in our home. We went to the animal shelter last night, and we were selected to be the new family for Maya, a Heinz 57 breed, tan, female, 3 years old. She recently had puppies. The family that had her turned her in because they couldn’t afford her. She needs to be fixed, and we can’t bring her home until that has happened. She is very loving and affectionate. I’m not sure I’m quite ready for another dog, but I want her to be integrated into the family before we go on vacation.
Another crazy day at work, so I gotta fly.
I am pleased to announce we will soon have a new addition in our home. We went to the animal shelter last night, and we were selected to be the new family for Maya, a Heinz 57 breed, tan, female, 3 years old. She recently had puppies. The family that had her turned her in because they couldn’t afford her. She needs to be fixed, and we can’t bring her home until that has happened. She is very loving and affectionate. I’m not sure I’m quite ready for another dog, but I want her to be integrated into the family before we go on vacation.
Another crazy day at work, so I gotta fly.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Even if ketchup really is a vegetable, I didn’t have any
Yesterday was my son’s birthday, and I think he had a good day. I gotta say though, my eating was terrible! Not too much, just not very good choices. The only vegetables I ate all day were the peas in my Amy’s organic tv dinner that I had for lunch. And no fruit. Pitiful!
Last weekend was non-stop insanity. Work has been super busy, and after work has been busy as well. I did finish the treasurer’s report, but I haven’t made it to the gym at all. We were supposed to go help a friend run a team building for the youth ice hockey team he coaches, but I think I’m going to send the hub along without me. For one, I need to do the taxes, for two, I need a break.
It’s the first day of March. I have a feeling that when I get on the scale tomorrow I am going to realize that I have frittered away the past two months, no closer to my goal that I was. That makes me sad. I guess I’m feeling a little bit defeated right now. I’ve come so far, but I just can’t seem to make the final lap. But I can always start today. Maybe a run in tonight’s rain is what I need.
Yesterday was my son’s birthday, and I think he had a good day. I gotta say though, my eating was terrible! Not too much, just not very good choices. The only vegetables I ate all day were the peas in my Amy’s organic tv dinner that I had for lunch. And no fruit. Pitiful!
Last weekend was non-stop insanity. Work has been super busy, and after work has been busy as well. I did finish the treasurer’s report, but I haven’t made it to the gym at all. We were supposed to go help a friend run a team building for the youth ice hockey team he coaches, but I think I’m going to send the hub along without me. For one, I need to do the taxes, for two, I need a break.
It’s the first day of March. I have a feeling that when I get on the scale tomorrow I am going to realize that I have frittered away the past two months, no closer to my goal that I was. That makes me sad. I guess I’m feeling a little bit defeated right now. I’ve come so far, but I just can’t seem to make the final lap. But I can always start today. Maybe a run in tonight’s rain is what I need.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Crazy busy
This has been one of those crazy busy weeks. Coming on the heels of a hectic weekend, that has been a lot to handle. No worries, I haven’t completely gone off the deep end. But food isn’t quite as on track as I would like.
We started removing the old wallpaper from the hall bathroom Monday. Today is my boy’s birthday, so I look forward to a delicious dinner at his restaurant of his choice – Hooter’s! :-O Nice weather has made everything a wee bit easier. I finally got all my reporting submitted for my treasurer job in my medieval group. Ugh! We already have a commitment Saturday, but I may bail & send my husband alone! I know, evil. But I need a quiet day!!!!
This has been one of those crazy busy weeks. Coming on the heels of a hectic weekend, that has been a lot to handle. No worries, I haven’t completely gone off the deep end. But food isn’t quite as on track as I would like.
We started removing the old wallpaper from the hall bathroom Monday. Today is my boy’s birthday, so I look forward to a delicious dinner at his restaurant of his choice – Hooter’s! :-O Nice weather has made everything a wee bit easier. I finally got all my reporting submitted for my treasurer job in my medieval group. Ugh! We already have a commitment Saturday, but I may bail & send my husband alone! I know, evil. But I need a quiet day!!!!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Five weeks
Five weeks from tomorrow we will be going to the beach. Will I use those weeks well, or foolishly?
Here's what I'd like to see in 5 weeks:
A weight within a pound or 2 of 155.
My husband employeed. (I realize that I have no control over this.)
Me back into the routines that make me happy.
A new floor!
Nothing profound today. Did you know that if you chase your son around the house because you suspect he is trying to sneak a second Coke into his bedroom hidden in his pants, you might split your own. No, I didn't - but my husband did! ;-O
Five weeks from tomorrow we will be going to the beach. Will I use those weeks well, or foolishly?
Here's what I'd like to see in 5 weeks:
A weight within a pound or 2 of 155.
My husband employeed. (I realize that I have no control over this.)
Me back into the routines that make me happy.
A new floor!
Nothing profound today. Did you know that if you chase your son around the house because you suspect he is trying to sneak a second Coke into his bedroom hidden in his pants, you might split your own. No, I didn't - but my husband did! ;-O
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Ready for something good
This has been a good week so far. Food has been on track and I have managed some exercise every day – even if it’s just walking a couple of miles in the ‘hood. I was a bit cranky yesterday morning, but overall my attitude has been pretty good. The boy and hub have been getting along – they even went to the movies together last night and left me home ALONE!!! Woo hoo!
This is going to be a busy weekend, so I decided to take a half day off of work tomorrow. I am having dinner guests Friday night, the boy has a tae kwon do test Saturday AM, then he has his birthday party/sleep over Saturday night. Sunday we are going to Lowe’s to pick out/pick up the stuff for the boy’s bathroom re-do. I have to admit, he has picked stuff I like too, and I am excited that we are getting to do something in there.
I am trying not to freak out about the fact that hub still isn’t working. We’re good for another 6-8 weeks. We have our tax return coming soon (as soon as I get the darn taxes done!) and his check in June. If we live a bit lean, we’re fine for quite a while. It means we can’t pay down bills the way I’d like or do some of the extras, but we’ll be okay. I keep telling myself that so I will not panic. I think the fact that I’m not panicking is helping to keep him on an even keel.
Next week I am going back to a more formal eating and exercise plan, but for now my habits are getting cleaned back up, and that’s certainly a step in the right direction.
This has been a good week so far. Food has been on track and I have managed some exercise every day – even if it’s just walking a couple of miles in the ‘hood. I was a bit cranky yesterday morning, but overall my attitude has been pretty good. The boy and hub have been getting along – they even went to the movies together last night and left me home ALONE!!! Woo hoo!
This is going to be a busy weekend, so I decided to take a half day off of work tomorrow. I am having dinner guests Friday night, the boy has a tae kwon do test Saturday AM, then he has his birthday party/sleep over Saturday night. Sunday we are going to Lowe’s to pick out/pick up the stuff for the boy’s bathroom re-do. I have to admit, he has picked stuff I like too, and I am excited that we are getting to do something in there.
I am trying not to freak out about the fact that hub still isn’t working. We’re good for another 6-8 weeks. We have our tax return coming soon (as soon as I get the darn taxes done!) and his check in June. If we live a bit lean, we’re fine for quite a while. It means we can’t pay down bills the way I’d like or do some of the extras, but we’ll be okay. I keep telling myself that so I will not panic. I think the fact that I’m not panicking is helping to keep him on an even keel.
Next week I am going back to a more formal eating and exercise plan, but for now my habits are getting cleaned back up, and that’s certainly a step in the right direction.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
End of the line
The good news is I’ve eaten on plan for 2 days. Monday afternoon the hub & I went to the gym. Yesterday morning I got up and walked. We have a date to hit the gym this afternoon, and plans to go lift tomorrow morning.
I am particularly grateful that I seem to have gotten the stress down to a manageable level since I am nearly out of pants. I have one pair of jeans that fit. My Chino’s dress pants (I have 2 pair) look okay as long as I am wearing a long sweater. I’m trying not to go off the deep end and wig out & try to starve myself. But I am feeling panicky at the realization that I am at the top of my wardrobe. That’s scary.
But we aren’t focusing on that, instead we’re focusing on the positive steps I’ve made!
"Puberty is like a roller coaster. Sometimes its so steep you can't even see the track. Unfortunately, parents are strapped in the back seat."
Having a conversation with my son is quite the adventure these days. For one, he isn’t capable of rational thought anymore, and two, he cannot articulate his needs. I was so happy when around age 3, he could finally tell me what he needed. I’m so sad that skill seems to have vanished.
Last night we had a very interesting conversation. It took somewhere around 90 minutes – largely because he kept getting frustrated and leaving. We’d attempt rational conversation again, make a bit of headway, and he’d get frustrated and go to his room. 90 minutes to get at the following: he would like to paint his bedroom a more mature color and he would like the hall bathroom to be his (currently my husband uses it).
Could he say that? Of course not. First he had to have a fit when I wouldn’t let him paint his room black with spray paint highlights. Then he decided to have a cow because of the home improvement projects that need to be done, we decided that replacing the worn out carpeting in the common areas was the highest. (My husband receives profit sharing twice a year from the reservation. We use the June check for house maintenance and to pay for pennsic.)
The boy wants top priority to be gutting the hall bathroom. The problem is that it looks okay and everything works. So its hard to justify making that the top priority. I’m not crazy about the hall bathroom either – it looks like a hotel room bathroom – beige, impersonal, and trapped in the 80s.
After much back and forth and dramatics, we finally agreed that we would paint the walls, paint the cabinet, replace the towel bars and possible counter, and add some storage to the walls so that he would have a place to put stuff. Hub has to continue to use the shower, but we agreed that he would move most of his stuff out so it would be mainly the boy’s bathroom.
At the end of it all, it was a win in that we met everyone’s needs, but lordy it wasn’t easy!
The good news is I’ve eaten on plan for 2 days. Monday afternoon the hub & I went to the gym. Yesterday morning I got up and walked. We have a date to hit the gym this afternoon, and plans to go lift tomorrow morning.
I am particularly grateful that I seem to have gotten the stress down to a manageable level since I am nearly out of pants. I have one pair of jeans that fit. My Chino’s dress pants (I have 2 pair) look okay as long as I am wearing a long sweater. I’m trying not to go off the deep end and wig out & try to starve myself. But I am feeling panicky at the realization that I am at the top of my wardrobe. That’s scary.
But we aren’t focusing on that, instead we’re focusing on the positive steps I’ve made!
"Puberty is like a roller coaster. Sometimes its so steep you can't even see the track. Unfortunately, parents are strapped in the back seat."
Having a conversation with my son is quite the adventure these days. For one, he isn’t capable of rational thought anymore, and two, he cannot articulate his needs. I was so happy when around age 3, he could finally tell me what he needed. I’m so sad that skill seems to have vanished.
Last night we had a very interesting conversation. It took somewhere around 90 minutes – largely because he kept getting frustrated and leaving. We’d attempt rational conversation again, make a bit of headway, and he’d get frustrated and go to his room. 90 minutes to get at the following: he would like to paint his bedroom a more mature color and he would like the hall bathroom to be his (currently my husband uses it).
Could he say that? Of course not. First he had to have a fit when I wouldn’t let him paint his room black with spray paint highlights. Then he decided to have a cow because of the home improvement projects that need to be done, we decided that replacing the worn out carpeting in the common areas was the highest. (My husband receives profit sharing twice a year from the reservation. We use the June check for house maintenance and to pay for pennsic.)
The boy wants top priority to be gutting the hall bathroom. The problem is that it looks okay and everything works. So its hard to justify making that the top priority. I’m not crazy about the hall bathroom either – it looks like a hotel room bathroom – beige, impersonal, and trapped in the 80s.
After much back and forth and dramatics, we finally agreed that we would paint the walls, paint the cabinet, replace the towel bars and possible counter, and add some storage to the walls so that he would have a place to put stuff. Hub has to continue to use the shower, but we agreed that he would move most of his stuff out so it would be mainly the boy’s bathroom.
At the end of it all, it was a win in that we met everyone’s needs, but lordy it wasn’t easy!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Where’d the weekend go??
I can’t believe how quickly the weekend went! Partly because I was feeling oogy Saturday afternoon & spent it just sitting around, but the weekend felt like it flew! Saturday AM I went art supply shopping with a girlfriend, then just sat around that afternoon. I was feeling better after supper, and did some painting (I do pages like were in medieval books, with the calligraphy, fancy border painting, and goldwork). Sunday was shopping, working on the treasurer stuff, more painting, and cleaning the house. Then we had friends over for supper and poof – there went the weekend!
Hub cleaned the garage Friday and worked some on the house. It was nice to have a clean house for guests. As you can see, I never got around to doing any food prep for the week – eek! Luckily the boy is up at his grandpa’s, so the only one left lunchless was me. I will remedy that tonight!
My biggest gripe about the weekend? Too much eating out, zero trips to the gym, over snacking Friday and Sunday nights. Oh, I guess that’s 3 gripes!
My son went skiing with a friend this weekend, then up to camp grandpa. I am hoping the getaway has improved his outlook. His birthday party is next weekend, so that should put him in a good mood! And give me an excuse to insist that he clean his room! :-O
I can’t believe how quickly the weekend went! Partly because I was feeling oogy Saturday afternoon & spent it just sitting around, but the weekend felt like it flew! Saturday AM I went art supply shopping with a girlfriend, then just sat around that afternoon. I was feeling better after supper, and did some painting (I do pages like were in medieval books, with the calligraphy, fancy border painting, and goldwork). Sunday was shopping, working on the treasurer stuff, more painting, and cleaning the house. Then we had friends over for supper and poof – there went the weekend!
Hub cleaned the garage Friday and worked some on the house. It was nice to have a clean house for guests. As you can see, I never got around to doing any food prep for the week – eek! Luckily the boy is up at his grandpa’s, so the only one left lunchless was me. I will remedy that tonight!
My biggest gripe about the weekend? Too much eating out, zero trips to the gym, over snacking Friday and Sunday nights. Oh, I guess that’s 3 gripes!
My son went skiing with a friend this weekend, then up to camp grandpa. I am hoping the getaway has improved his outlook. His birthday party is next weekend, so that should put him in a good mood! And give me an excuse to insist that he clean his room! :-O
Friday, February 16, 2007
Continued improvement of a sort
Last night I had a (relatively) healthy snack after dinner. I baked 2 corn tortillas to make some chips, and washed them down with an ice cold faux Milwaukee. My gym bag is in the car. After I got my bonus, I treated myself to a set of CDs from “Cardio Coach” – these are music with a coach guiding you through interval training. Interval training is so awesome for you; I’m hoping this will help keep it fresh and help me ‘get my groove back’.
I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend at home. Other than doing paperwork, I have nothing planned other than perhaps some sewing. The boy is going snow skiing with a friend.
The hub still isn’t working. I can’t begin to describe all the ways this is putting stress on our lives. There is the obvious financial strain. Fortunately I received a pretty generous bonus this year, so we’re covered for a while. I’ll have a better picture of that after I do our taxes. But the fact is I don’t make enough to cover our expenses. Even with some scaling back, I can’t cover us.
The far more insidious problem is how it’s affecting my husband. He was raised to believe you aren’t a man if you aren’t providing for your family. Working as hard as you can is what you do. For him not to be able to do that is very stressful. Unfortunately, we are the recipients of this stress.
He has been ultra critical of the boy, straining their relationship past the breaking point. As a result of the latest huge argument, the boy went & stayed over at my mom’s this week.
I’m getting frustrated because my husband isn’t doing jack. I mean, its difficult, but I wouldn’t feel so bad if he were using this time to get some things accomplished that are on his “to do” list. At least we’d be able to look back on this time and say, yes, this was a stressful time, but at least several things were accomplished. I would consider that a fair trade-off. But he isn’t even keeping the house picked up & the laundry done, let alone doing anything else! That makes me feel like I’m shouldering everything, and I am beginning to feel very resentful. This is one of the ‘bad’ times that we go through, but I feel like he isn’t doing much to help himself. I would feel a bit more empathetic if I felt like he were continuing to contribute to the family in a way he can, instead of ‘checking out’.
Got the thing straightened out at the boys school. She apologized. I think she’s sorry – for getting busted. She’s a highly opinionated lady who likes to give her opinion. I think she will be a bit more on her toes from now on.
Last night I had a (relatively) healthy snack after dinner. I baked 2 corn tortillas to make some chips, and washed them down with an ice cold faux Milwaukee. My gym bag is in the car. After I got my bonus, I treated myself to a set of CDs from “Cardio Coach” – these are music with a coach guiding you through interval training. Interval training is so awesome for you; I’m hoping this will help keep it fresh and help me ‘get my groove back’.
I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend at home. Other than doing paperwork, I have nothing planned other than perhaps some sewing. The boy is going snow skiing with a friend.
The hub still isn’t working. I can’t begin to describe all the ways this is putting stress on our lives. There is the obvious financial strain. Fortunately I received a pretty generous bonus this year, so we’re covered for a while. I’ll have a better picture of that after I do our taxes. But the fact is I don’t make enough to cover our expenses. Even with some scaling back, I can’t cover us.
The far more insidious problem is how it’s affecting my husband. He was raised to believe you aren’t a man if you aren’t providing for your family. Working as hard as you can is what you do. For him not to be able to do that is very stressful. Unfortunately, we are the recipients of this stress.
He has been ultra critical of the boy, straining their relationship past the breaking point. As a result of the latest huge argument, the boy went & stayed over at my mom’s this week.
I’m getting frustrated because my husband isn’t doing jack. I mean, its difficult, but I wouldn’t feel so bad if he were using this time to get some things accomplished that are on his “to do” list. At least we’d be able to look back on this time and say, yes, this was a stressful time, but at least several things were accomplished. I would consider that a fair trade-off. But he isn’t even keeping the house picked up & the laundry done, let alone doing anything else! That makes me feel like I’m shouldering everything, and I am beginning to feel very resentful. This is one of the ‘bad’ times that we go through, but I feel like he isn’t doing much to help himself. I would feel a bit more empathetic if I felt like he were continuing to contribute to the family in a way he can, instead of ‘checking out’.
Got the thing straightened out at the boys school. She apologized. I think she’s sorry – for getting busted. She’s a highly opinionated lady who likes to give her opinion. I think she will be a bit more on her toes from now on.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Beware the wrath of an angry mommy
Something happened at my son’s school yesterday that disturbed me greatly. My son goes to a Christian school, so I expect a certain amount of discussion around Christian values. However, one of his teacher’s seems to feel that stating her brand of Christianity as fact is acceptable.
Yesterday, she told my son that he would never see Carmen again because dogs don’t have souls and don’t go to heaven. I mean, can you think of anything more insensitive and inappropriate to say to an 11 year old that just lost a beloved pet? We happen to believe that ALL animals go to heaven because they don’t have free will. They can’t be evil, and therefore that’s where they go when they die. I realize not all Christians believe this, but not all Christians believe her way either. But she stated it as indisputable fact, so you can imagine how upset he was when he got picked up from school. This is the same “teacher” who told the class she hated Christmas because Santa Claus is a lie.
My mom, husband, and I are meeting with her and the principal at 12:45 today.
Baby steps. I had beer after dinner, but no snacks. Please tell me that’s an improvement!
Something happened at my son’s school yesterday that disturbed me greatly. My son goes to a Christian school, so I expect a certain amount of discussion around Christian values. However, one of his teacher’s seems to feel that stating her brand of Christianity as fact is acceptable.
Yesterday, she told my son that he would never see Carmen again because dogs don’t have souls and don’t go to heaven. I mean, can you think of anything more insensitive and inappropriate to say to an 11 year old that just lost a beloved pet? We happen to believe that ALL animals go to heaven because they don’t have free will. They can’t be evil, and therefore that’s where they go when they die. I realize not all Christians believe this, but not all Christians believe her way either. But she stated it as indisputable fact, so you can imagine how upset he was when he got picked up from school. This is the same “teacher” who told the class she hated Christmas because Santa Claus is a lie.
My mom, husband, and I are meeting with her and the principal at 12:45 today.
Baby steps. I had beer after dinner, but no snacks. Please tell me that’s an improvement!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
Let them eat cake
Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.
A friend of ours is putting on a “tea” tomorrow afternoon at the medieval thing we’re going to. She needs help making the food, and I offered to bake a cake. I have one of those fancy schmancy bundt cake pans that has this cool fleur de lys design, and a fabulous recipe for a wine cake. I want the cake to be as fresh as possible, so I get up this morning at 5 AM to bake this cake. Which I do. I go to put it on the cake plate and guess what? It sticks to the fancy bundt pan, breaking into a big “pile o’ mess cake”!!!
Because I am a good friend, and because I promised her a cake, and because I refuse to be brought low on a Friday by a CAKE PAN, I do what any self respecting woman would do – I wake up my husband and tell him I need him to go to the store and get more ingredients so I can make ANOTHER cake. Which he does, managing (with the help of a phone call) to procure the correct ingredients. So then I make another cake, after using enough Baker’s Joy in the bundt pan to cook a 40 tier wedding cake. And the cake comes out, and it looks nice. And then my husband asks why I threw the broken one away because I could’ve packed it in our picnic basket.
That man cracks me up.
Eating has been for crap, exercise has been non-existent. I just haven’t cared. Its pitiful really. Maybe getting away for the weekend will help to renew my spirit. I've just felt totally uninvolved in my own life this week.
Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.
A friend of ours is putting on a “tea” tomorrow afternoon at the medieval thing we’re going to. She needs help making the food, and I offered to bake a cake. I have one of those fancy schmancy bundt cake pans that has this cool fleur de lys design, and a fabulous recipe for a wine cake. I want the cake to be as fresh as possible, so I get up this morning at 5 AM to bake this cake. Which I do. I go to put it on the cake plate and guess what? It sticks to the fancy bundt pan, breaking into a big “pile o’ mess cake”!!!
Because I am a good friend, and because I promised her a cake, and because I refuse to be brought low on a Friday by a CAKE PAN, I do what any self respecting woman would do – I wake up my husband and tell him I need him to go to the store and get more ingredients so I can make ANOTHER cake. Which he does, managing (with the help of a phone call) to procure the correct ingredients. So then I make another cake, after using enough Baker’s Joy in the bundt pan to cook a 40 tier wedding cake. And the cake comes out, and it looks nice. And then my husband asks why I threw the broken one away because I could’ve packed it in our picnic basket.
That man cracks me up.
Eating has been for crap, exercise has been non-existent. I just haven’t cared. Its pitiful really. Maybe getting away for the weekend will help to renew my spirit. I've just felt totally uninvolved in my own life this week.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
The amazing sense of nothing
Baby steps. I don’t want to do anything. This week, I am taking a week off – no weight lifting, no high intensity workouts, just basic cardio and focusing on good food choices. It just feels too overwhelming right now. I’ll focus on not backsliding and keeping my head up.
The hub still isn’t working. Its very hard on him. His stress is manifesting itself in a variety of ways: there are several things he could be working on around the house, but he isn’t. I have a half built table sitting in my dining room (in my way), but he can’t seem to finish. He spends most of the day watching tv as near as I can figure. He acts like a jerk to the boy. He’s rarely friendly or loving any more – he is constantly critical.
I got my bonus last week. If we’re careful, we can easily go another couple of months without him bringing home any money. But the emotional toll on him is huge. Its really affecting me. No wonder I feel so stressed.
Baby steps. I don’t want to do anything. This week, I am taking a week off – no weight lifting, no high intensity workouts, just basic cardio and focusing on good food choices. It just feels too overwhelming right now. I’ll focus on not backsliding and keeping my head up.
The hub still isn’t working. Its very hard on him. His stress is manifesting itself in a variety of ways: there are several things he could be working on around the house, but he isn’t. I have a half built table sitting in my dining room (in my way), but he can’t seem to finish. He spends most of the day watching tv as near as I can figure. He acts like a jerk to the boy. He’s rarely friendly or loving any more – he is constantly critical.
I got my bonus last week. If we’re careful, we can easily go another couple of months without him bringing home any money. But the emotional toll on him is huge. Its really affecting me. No wonder I feel so stressed.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Happy feet, sad heart
While my weekend was fine, I have to say I spent most of it with a heavy heart (and an overfull belly). I guess the thing with MIL, the pain it causes hub, missing my dog, and just being busy left me feeling just really down, tired of battling my weight, feeling like I'm on the losing end. I came in to today planning to take off early this afternoon because I just feel like I need a bit of time to recharge. Plus, the boy is home sick and the hub needs some time to take care of a couple of things himself.
BTW, he called his mom and told her that he thought she took my mom's things, and he would be very happy if they reappeared.
In happier news, I bought new running shoes! I accidentally took my old shoes with me to the gym the other day, causing my feet a lot of hurt. If my "B" shoes do that, then they need to be the yard shoes. My husband laughed when I brought the new shoes home - they look virtually like the ones I have now. Hey - they were my size, I love New Balance, and they were on sale.
Sorry to be such a bummer. Nothing major is wrong, just some wintertime blues. I'll get over it in a day or two.
While my weekend was fine, I have to say I spent most of it with a heavy heart (and an overfull belly). I guess the thing with MIL, the pain it causes hub, missing my dog, and just being busy left me feeling just really down, tired of battling my weight, feeling like I'm on the losing end. I came in to today planning to take off early this afternoon because I just feel like I need a bit of time to recharge. Plus, the boy is home sick and the hub needs some time to take care of a couple of things himself.
BTW, he called his mom and told her that he thought she took my mom's things, and he would be very happy if they reappeared.
In happier news, I bought new running shoes! I accidentally took my old shoes with me to the gym the other day, causing my feet a lot of hurt. If my "B" shoes do that, then they need to be the yard shoes. My husband laughed when I brought the new shoes home - they look virtually like the ones I have now. Hey - they were my size, I love New Balance, and they were on sale.
Sorry to be such a bummer. Nothing major is wrong, just some wintertime blues. I'll get over it in a day or two.
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