Today is a new day

I left work, went to the gym, had a good workout (legs and shoulders), then went home & cried. I heated up an emergency dinner from the freezer (homemade Brunswick stew) and finally wound up sitting on the sofa, having a couple of beers, some chips we had in the cupboard, and then some of the ice cream my sister left at my house last week. Needless to say, I skipped weighing in today.

I just feel so profoundly sad and when you are grieving it seems like it will last forever. That’s where I am right now. I have stuff to do this weekend – paint my son’s room, steam clean his carpet, re-arrange the furniture in his & the guest bedrooms. There is still some yard work that needs to be done as well. My joy for everything is gone. I know it will eventually come back. I just hope I don’t sabotage myself too badly in the interim.

This is just so outside of how I normally am it feels like there is an alien who has taken control of my emotions. I hate this, and I hate wishing my life away to be at the time when it has passed.