Sad, but hardly heartbroken

First off, do you read Seth Smith's blog?  If not, you should.  He doesn't post super frequently, but what he posts is meaningful, articulate, and really hits at both your heart and you head.  Here is a link to his most recent post:  http://sethadamsmith.com/2014/01/30/damning-belief/

Seth claims the most damning belief any person can have is that they are a victim.  How true!  It feels good to say "It isn't my fault", but the flip side of the coin "I'm trapped and have no power" stinks.  Empowering yourself leads to feeling better, even when the circumstances are tough.

I'm finding that with myself.  My husband is leaving today, and we will be apart for several months.  I will be sharing a house with people I don't know super well.  They are good people, I've known them casually for a couple of years, but they aren't family or even super close friends.  And in some ways it makes sharing a house easier, and in some ways harder.

I don't have much of a local support system.  But I do have good friends that I talk to regularly, and the internet certainly helps bridge the distance!

And I'm no shrinking dish rag of a woman.  Good lord, I got on a plane and flew to basic training by myself.  I flew to my first permanent duty station - West Berlin, by myself.  And once my plan landed I had to sort out money and transportation on my own!  I was 23.  I can certainly share a house with other adults for 3 or 4 months while my husband is looking for work in NC!

It was also difficult to give up appearances.  (That's the opposite of 'Keeping up appearances' - ha ha).  To say, I am selling my home and living in a rented room with friends and my husband and dogs are living with my mom.  Isn't the American dream home ownership?!  What kind of loon voluntarily gives up their home months before they will be willing/able to purchase another???

And how silly is that, worrying about what people will think?  I largely keep mum about the details, but I've (mostly) gotten over that.  Now I'm just sad about being away from my husband and dogs.  BUT - we made this decision together for a good cause, we are working toward a specific goal, and having him head up first to look for work and help get us settled is very helpful.

We made a promise to each other - we promised to take care of ourselves, using each other for accountability.  Regular exercise, healthy foods, not using food to stuff down our feelings - we can't do those things.  Our health and well being mean too much.

So, this day is Day 1, and I plan to make it good in the sense of no food shenanigans and getting in my exercise.  One day at a time.