A collision of many things

This week a bunch of things collided, creating a "perfect storm" of emotion.

Work was very stressful.  We are hired to 18 month contracts.  One of the ladies is leaving and I am taking over several of her responsibilities.  So I am learning several new things, plus managing my own projects.

Our family friend and the out of the blue, still lots of unknowns cancer.  They don't know where all it is.  They do know what type - it doesn't respond to chemo.  They think it's probably in his brain, so it sounds like he doesn't have a lot of time.

The weather has been miserable.

A lot of things that have been weighing on me - circumstances over which I don't necessarily have a lot of control.  This has been going on in the background since I moved in to my mom's last April.  Some things you just have to accept as imperfect, and recognize they aren't permanent.

And I realized that for quite some time, I haven't had anything that really feeds my soul.  All my hobbies are literally packed away in my storage unit.  This morning I just sat and cried and cried. I told my mom that there wasn't anything in my day to day life that really gives me joy and feeds my creative spirit.  And I've been living like this for months.  it's living, but I'd hardly call it thriving. 

It's easy to see why people turn to food when they don't have anything else.  It can be cheap, easy to obtain, legal, and satisfying.

I enjoy working out, but that doesn't really feel creative.  I love to sew, do embroidery and viking wire weaving, make jewelry, but all that stuff is in storage.  I need some space and I need my husband to go to the storage unit and find some of my things.  That place is so crazy - I could never find anything in there.

Anyway, mom is going to make some room in the guest room so I can bring some of my stuff.  I'm trying to find solutions, but sometimes when you are down it's difficult to identify the issue.  And until you do that, you can't find a solution, you know?

I may whine here, but you won't find me wallowing.  That's not who I am.

Have a good day!