Post Weekend

Well, it was a nice weekend. We cooked out with our neighbors. We did grilled vegetables and a couple of those "beer can chickens". Let me tell you, that chicken was incredible! It was so juicy and tender - yum! I am hooked! My mom made pasta salad and the neighbors brought homemade banana ice cream. It was a very nice meal and we had a great time.

I am back at work today - its very quiet, and doesn't even feel like work :-)

I am still reading Geneen Roth's books. I'm nearly done with "Breaking free from compulsive eating" and then have "Why Weight? A guide to breaking free from compulsive eating" to read still. I am finding her books very useful.

Instead of trying to control what I'm consuming, I'm focusing on feeling my feelings as I eat. It has been pretty enlightening. I have given myself permission to eat, which has been a bit scary. But I haven't stuffed myself the way I've always been afraid I would either.

I maintained last week, and right now I'm okay with that. Until I understand what I am getting from eating & being overweight, I'm happy to work on understanding and just maintain my weight.

I did not make healthy choices this weekend, and I really paid attention to how those made me feel. I rode my bike 7 miles Saturday and ran 7 miles Sunday. I could tell my performance suffered. Next weekend I am running 16 miles and I know I cannot do that if I've eaten crappy or consumed alcohol the day before. But by recognizing that, I don't feel like I'm laying down strict rules or depriving myself by eating healthy the day before. I know I have to plan better next weekend, and I feel okay with that.

More & more I'm finding that this isn't about losing weight, for me its about getting in touch with feelings I didn't know existed. That will lead to a healthier me, inside & out.