Econ 101

So, I had a binge yesterday. A series of unfortunate events (being tired, getting caught out in the middle of errands at lunchtime, and a husband that uses food as reward & comfort, for both himself and me) came together, with predictable results. I’m not blaming it on my husband, but he does make it more difficult to stop when these things happen. He means well, but it still makes it tough.

In economics, the phenomenon of why the 6th beer doesn’t taste as good as the first is known as “diminishing marginal utility”. In a nutshell, when you eat something you receive “utility” – pleasure and getting full. With each additional thing you eat, you receive less and less until you stop consuming. Economics presumes “rational” behavior. So, at first glance, a binge appears to be an irrational act. Let’s face it – you do get less and less pleasure from the food the more you eat, and once you are full the food actually begins to make you feel bad. Where is the rationale in continuing to eat?

That’s where it helps to understand “utility” – a made up unit of measure to describe whatever positive “stuff” you get from consuming. Consuming, food, education, books, whatever. You spend time, money, effort, whatever. Most people think the “utility” we get from food is the pleasure of eating as well as fueling up our bodies. Going beyond that point is “irrational” behavior.

The missing component here is that people fail to factor all “utility” into the equation. And the missing utility is what drives a binge. Yes, I felt worse as I consumed too much yesterday, but I also received psychological comfort from the binge. And I also understand that I receive an emotional payoff by being overweight. My fat protects me from certain things. I have come to understand that. That’s why I’ve had to lose weight so slowly – to “sneak” up on it as it were. Inching my way slowly toward my goal weight – like sneaking up on a wild animal in the forest. Trying to make myself comfortable as the scale has slowly edged downward. I still struggle with that, although it is getting better. But binging comforts me emotionally – which is why getting caught out, tired and hungry, with a husband who orders me a second beer is not a good thing. I am too tired to fight at that point.

Luckily, I am getting better at protecting myself from the circumstances that lead to binge behavior. I’ve learned to rest when I get tired and not push myself to just keep going until I am finished. I’ve worked on convincing myself that the 15 pounds of fat are no longer necessary to protect myself emotionally. And I’ve taken it slowly so I don’t get scared off.

My son had a great birthday weekend, with lots of fun activities. But I have to admit, I feel like a very tired stuffed sausage! I want a salad for dinner, and maybe some nice tomato soup. I’m tired of rich food, beer, and anything with sugar. I am ready to get back to normal. And I’m already figuring out how to schedule next weekend so I don’t get so tired out that I am vulnerable again.