Whole 30 Day 1 in the books

True!  Although you might be better off eating it! :-)

Today was fine.  I packed my breakfast (Greek seasoned meatloaf), lunch (salad with a piece of baked chicken thigh and homemade vinaigrette), and afternoon snack (grapes and 12 almonds).

Workout today was Shaun T's latest - the T25 workout.  What I liked: he did a great job of having someone demonstrating modifiers if you can't do a lot of high impact stuff (don't worry, the workout is still solid).  What I didn't like: dude, that workout will kick your butt!  That's way sweatier than I like to get in the middle of the workday.  Can't decide if I want to continue, but I plan to go back for the rest of the week to check out the remainder of the workouts.  If I survive!

(There are 5 workouts you do in a week for 5 weeks.  Then you move on to the second phase, where the workouts are presumably more difficult, although I can't imagine what that could possibly be).

Dinner was an easy favorite since I was in a hurry (sewing class night): sliced chicken sausage and sauteed it with a bag of pre-shredded cabbage.  Total calories in the pan was 500, servings of veggies was 5.  I ate about half the pan - most before class and a little bit more when I got home.  Easy and good.  You can add other stuff (onions, peppers, garlic, etc. but I was in a hurry tonight.)

That's about it for the day.  Leaving you with this thought:

Choices

Packed my compliant breakfast, lunch, snack this morning.

I can't decide whether I want to continue weighing myself weekly or stay off the scale for the 30 days.

I had also thought about starting to count calories this week.  I think I may give it a go.

Thoughts?

Have a good day!

Absolutely!

Good morning!

First I'd like to say something about Gwen's comment yesterday about the effect food has on our mental as well as physical health.  Absolutely agree Gwen!

The point of my post yesterday was to put down my thoughts around some of the reasons some people overeat.  There are folks who follow SAD because its the norm and they don't know better.  Something happens, they educate themselves, and they make a change.  It's very straightforward for them.

For others, there's a lot of mental mess mixed up in there as well.  I've used food as a coping mechanism for over 30 years - whether it's a true addiction or just a habit, it's tough to change.  To take an extreme example, I'm sure most alcoholics know that booze is destroying their health, but still struggle to give it up.

Then there are folks (and the ones I know personally are women, but I'm sure it can happen to men as well) who feel more comfortable overweight due to unwanted sexual attention, either in childhood or adulthood.  They KNOW they would be healthier at a lower weight, but their mind isn't comfortable at a lower weight - they don't feel "safe".

All those things are very powerful, and for some people, those are the kinds of issues that must be addressed for them to lose weight and maintain that loss.

Many of those mental issues apply to me.  Here I am - making a radical change in my life.  Giving up my well paying corporate job to venture out and do something else.  Stressed out, burned out, and exhausted.  And the last link of my support system (my spouse) pulled out of the driveway last Monday and is now over 800 miles away.  Yes I have friends, but the closest real one is 5 hours away. The people I know here (including the people I currently share a house with) are acquaintances. Good people, but we don't have "history".

On paper, right now looks like the WORST possible time to do the Whole 30.  But I think its the best, for 2 reasons. 

1) I'm cooking for myself only.  I don't have to worry about someone else wanting to keep "prohibited" food in the house or running up to the convenience store for crap and offering to pick me up some. 

2) It's true I don't have a lot of support for working through my emotional garbage right here, but I KNOW what Gwen said is true - my food choices are contributing to my stress.  They are helping in the moment, but they are part of the problem overall.  If I want to pull out of this emotional place, I HAVE to change the way I eat.  I HAVE to take charge of my health.  What worked in the past isn't working any more.

It's definitely going to be more difficult without having my family here with me.  I get lonely and bored, both of which can be dangerous.  But I HAVE to do this.  My well being is on the line.

Thankfully, I don't have a tremendous amount of weight I want to lose - this is more about eating right as part of an overall stress management plan. (I'd like to lose around 25 pounds).

I have a number of things I plan to try to help with the stress is addition to changing my diet:

• I am going to go to the meditation center and give it a try.
• In a similar vein, I am going to check out (or buy) a book or two on meditation based stress reduction - a system developed by an MIT scientist.
• I am going to go to an OA meeting - I may find folks in a similar situation who can give me emotional support.
• If I need it, there is an EAP counselor on site at work once a week who I can talk to if I feel the need over the next couple of months.

I need to get some financial things in order before I leave - getting the taxes done, paying off my car etc. so we will be in a good place to make it on savings plus hub's income while I look for employment in NC.  Luckily I have the luxury of being able to leave if I choose.  I can't leave the work force long term, but I can for a while.  I have a good set of skills and hopefully will be able to find a job without too much difficulty, but we will be okay financially - I just need to make myself okay!

Alright, food prep is already complete.  It's off to clean the bathroom, do a little paperwork, then do my "homework" for my sewing class.

Have a good day!

Feel all the feelings

I'd like to share two blog posts I've read recently that really hit close to home for me.

First, Jack's post on a book he is reading called "Quiet and Peace" on introversion. The theory in the book is that introverted people tend to be "highly reactive"  and thus seek down time.  He discusses how he used food to help muffle some of that.  http://jack-sprat.net/?p=1864

Then the other day Charlotte wrote a post about addiction and followed up today with a really great post about what it is to feel sad, how uncomfortable that is for some people, how society enables us to escape our feelings, and some of what she does to cope.

http://www.thegreatfitnessexperiment.com/2014/02/how-do-you-feel-all-the-feelings-learning-to-be-okay-with-not-being-okay.html

I'd like to share a quote:

"It is so terribly hard to experience pain or anxiety and choose not do anything to numb it. Not reach for the jellybeans and the ice cream, not pick at your skin, not go for a run, not take that drink or light up that crack pipe. The really amazing thing to discover when you just sit with those feelings is that they won’t kill you, even though it feels like they will when you start."

As a child I was terribly introverted and sensitive - I remember curling up in a ball with horrible stomach pains from stress.  My childhood had some bad stuff but it wasn't a horror show, but it was more than I could cope with well.

Being a shy, geeky, girl became even worse when puberty struck.  Not because I was unattractive - the opposite actually.  I was a math geek trapped inside a cheerleader's body.  And being raised without the positive support of a father made it that much more challenging to handle male attention.

The truth is, I've used food as a coping mechanism for a long time - even when I was a size 4.  It just finally caught up with me in the past few years - most of my life I wore single digit sizes, but my lifestyle was more definitely not healthy.

Now here I am.  Years of accumulated stress have led me where I am now: overweight with high blood pressure.  I am killing myself with stress.  Literally.  And I have to learn how to deal with it.  Dropping a few pounds won't solve the problem.  I have to learn how to work with my own highly sensitive disposition and manage my stress because right now I feel like the stress is in control

I will certainly talk about my Whole 30 here, but there has got to be a lot more to this than just to quit eating processed food for 30 days.

Interlude

I promise I won't do this on the Whole 30. :-)

Touching base

I have a few thoughts to share, but no time right now.  I have printed off the shopping list for Whole 30 and begun to plan out my meals for next week.  I am very nervous about this!

Have a good day!

Stress

This is all too frequently me, but I have to say that today everything I stressed and/or cried about was legit.

Which is worse?

What, a second post today!?!

Two thoughts I left off my earlier post:

1. I think I will start the Whole 30 Monday (I need to shop & use up some stuff in my house).
2. Some ladies at work are starting Shaun T.'s T25 workout program Monday.  I've put it on my calendar.  I may be crazy - if its too high intensity I will try to modify.  We'll see.

Calorie count countdown

Good morning.

The past couple of days have been difficult.  Kinda like waiting for a root canal.  The waiting is as bad (if not worse) than the actual thing!  And once it's over, you go on.

Anyway, sleep has been dodgy, despite carefully following the ritual (melatonin, spritzing pillow with lavendar essential oil, gregorian chant music, very dark room).  I'm not surprised, but I've overslept the past 2 mornings. 

That could have caused a disaster, but its turned out not too bad.  Yesterday's breakfast was italian sausage soup and 2 boiled eggs.  Lunch was baked chicken and mashed potatoes.  THEN, dinner was a burrito and beer.  (Emotional eating at it's finest.  It was after 6:30 when I left the dentist - tired, sad, and in pain).  Breakfast this morning was a little over half a 3 egg veggie omelet from the cafeteria (the rest will go with more of the soup I brought for lunch, and a green salad).  

I will get home at a reasonable time tonight and have a couple of easy dinners in the freezer to choose from.  So, not nearly enough vegetables, but no pizza parties.

Next up is calorie counting.  With all the stress I've focused on good choices, but I need to add portion control and accountability (in the form of tracking) to go with those good choices. 

Oh, and I get my annual review today.  Given everything that went on in out department last year, I just have no idea....  I did the best I could with the circumstances we were given.

I have another dental appt Friday (one crown needs some more adjusting).

Anyway, I have more thoughts, but I'll post when they are more coherent.

Oh, and my computer is getting fixed (I'm on a loaner) so many of my bookmarked favorites are lost.  I will catch up when I get my computer back if I lost your web addy temporarily.

Have a good one!

Sad, but hardly heartbroken

First off, do you read Seth Smith's blog?  If not, you should.  He doesn't post super frequently, but what he posts is meaningful, articulate, and really hits at both your heart and you head.  Here is a link to his most recent post:  http://sethadamsmith.com/2014/01/30/damning-belief/

Seth claims the most damning belief any person can have is that they are a victim.  How true!  It feels good to say "It isn't my fault", but the flip side of the coin "I'm trapped and have no power" stinks.  Empowering yourself leads to feeling better, even when the circumstances are tough.

I'm finding that with myself.  My husband is leaving today, and we will be apart for several months.  I will be sharing a house with people I don't know super well.  They are good people, I've known them casually for a couple of years, but they aren't family or even super close friends.  And in some ways it makes sharing a house easier, and in some ways harder.

I don't have much of a local support system.  But I do have good friends that I talk to regularly, and the internet certainly helps bridge the distance!

And I'm no shrinking dish rag of a woman.  Good lord, I got on a plane and flew to basic training by myself.  I flew to my first permanent duty station - West Berlin, by myself.  And once my plan landed I had to sort out money and transportation on my own!  I was 23.  I can certainly share a house with other adults for 3 or 4 months while my husband is looking for work in NC!

It was also difficult to give up appearances.  (That's the opposite of 'Keeping up appearances' - ha ha).  To say, I am selling my home and living in a rented room with friends and my husband and dogs are living with my mom.  Isn't the American dream home ownership?!  What kind of loon voluntarily gives up their home months before they will be willing/able to purchase another???

And how silly is that, worrying about what people will think?  I largely keep mum about the details, but I've (mostly) gotten over that.  Now I'm just sad about being away from my husband and dogs.  BUT - we made this decision together for a good cause, we are working toward a specific goal, and having him head up first to look for work and help get us settled is very helpful.

We made a promise to each other - we promised to take care of ourselves, using each other for accountability.  Regular exercise, healthy foods, not using food to stuff down our feelings - we can't do those things.  Our health and well being mean too much.

So, this day is Day 1, and I plan to make it good in the sense of no food shenanigans and getting in my exercise.  One day at a time.

Post weekend random

We had a lovely time visiting with our friends.  I find going to friend's challenging food-wise in that many of our friends don't eat the way I do.  Luckily (in this case), my husband does have some food restrictions, so I pack a cooler.  Sandwiches for lunch?  We'll do roll-ups.  Pasts for dinner? We brought some meat to throw on the grill.  It wasn't perfect, but it was better and we were good guests.  And they understand food sensitivities.

We got home yesterday at lunch and had leftover soup.  For dinner we decided to split a shwarma platter (roasted seasoned chicken and various vegetable salads and hummus) from an amazing deli nearby that we adore.  It was a special, fairly healthy treat.  We both eat beans occasionally - they don't seem to bother us or act as triggers.  But after that we didn't feel the need for any snacks.

There were some issues with the a/c hub is installing for me, so he decided to postpone his departure for another day.  We are both really dreading it.  Enough said.

We had a couple of ciders watching the game and there are a couple left, but I have no plans to buy an alcohol for the rest of the month.  I'm going to be sad enough without voluntarily consuming a depressent (which makes me gain weight!).

I hope you have a good day.  As the saying goes "Tough times don't last, but tough people do."

Yay for the weekend!

This weekend we are headed up to Jacksonville to visit friends.  Hurrah!  I am really looking forward to it!

Thursday I went downstairs and did step aerobics and then did a short yoga video with Rodney Yee.  I checked my bp after working out and it was lower than it was when I first came in to the office for the day.  I thought that was interesting.  Maybe it was the relaxation portion of the yoga??? :-)

Today is Jillian Michael's "Ripped in 30", possibly followed by stretching video.

Sometimes I feel like I sound negative, especially of late.  I don't think of myself as a "glass half empty" person at all.  I think I'm more like this:

See, the glass isn't half empty, it's half full!  BUT, it's awfully close to the edge of the table and I would hate for the glass to fall becuase it belonged to my grandmother.....

Do you see where I'm going?  I'm not negative, I worry.  And that's not good either.  You would think that by my age I would have figured out a way to "let go and let god" or "go with the flow" or whatever.  But I haven't.  So I use this blog to process things - especially change and big decisions.  So you get to read my "brain dumps" as I work through this stuff.  And right now I have a LOT to work through!

Weight remained the same, still a couple of pounds lower, but 2 weeks of not moving.  I know why - my lack of consistency.  Now my plan is to see how much I can get the needle to move before I go to the doctor on the 19th.  It's not about "lose x pounds", but about adhering to good lifestyle choices with food, exercise, sleep, and relaxtion between now and then, and then see what the doctor says. 

Here is a pretty powerful thought: "If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road."  —C.S. Lewis

That's pretty counter to how we are conditioned to live in the modern world.  It's all about progress, and moving forward.  How many people voluntarily downsize, or change careers to something lower paying?  People do it, but that is far from the norm.  And I think making that choice creates a lot of cognitive dissonance - it's what we want but it's contrary to what conventional thinking says we should want.

I've never been one to follow the beat of my own drummer.  Never.  I was always the quiet geeky girl in the science club, introverted and just not wanting to make waves.  So this process of really delving into what I want and how I want to live is pretty radical for me.  I think the end result will be awesome, but the path feels like walking through poison ivy, or maybe clearing a path through the underbrush with a machete! :-)

Have a great weekend and enjoy the Superbowl (if you are into that sort of thing)!

I followed through

Actually, things are feeling a little better. :-)

The bad news is that the doctor my colleague loves isn't accepting new patients.  But I called another doctor on my list and got an appointment for the 19th.  Given that doctors these days talk to their patients for like 5 minutes, I figure I'll have to do like that guy in the old Fedex commercials and talk really really fast to get in everything I want to tell her! :-) 

Yes Mrs Swan, high blood pressure does run on my mom's side of the family (but neither side of my family is overweight).  So it may be that I am genetically pre-disposed.  However, that doesn't mean that I can't make lifestyle choices (food, exercise, relaxation) that will help, if not solve the problem.  But if I need a little pharma assistance, I will take it.  My mom takes a very low dose diuretic, and that is sufficient.  I checked my bp again this morning and while still on the high side, it was lower.  I will keep checking it regularly until my appointment, so I can tell the doctor what the trend has been.

I don't hate or fear doctors and we go to regular appointments as recommended, but I am a little skeptical about modern medicines.  I think they are relied on far too much in lieu of a healthy lifestyle and it makes me nervous that often doctors tend to "solve" problems by writing a prescription v. addressing the root cause of an issue.  So for me to go and willingly take medication is pretty out there for me.  But if that is what I need to do for now, then I will.

Changing the subject: I am thinking about signing up for a sewing class.  Now, I know the basics of sewing, but I've never taken a formal class.  It's not terribly expensive ($99 tuition plus you buy supplies) for 6 Monday night classes.  Not 100%, but my mom is encouraging me.  I figure it'll get me out of the house, right?

I may also check out a class at the local Buddhist meditation center and see how I like it.  I can be weird about doing things like that on my own, so I dunno.  We'll see.  That's WAY out of my comfort zone, but I am curious about it.

Yesterday was crazy busy and I never managed any formal exercise (I know).  But today is back on schedule and I am going to do a step video.  I used to love doing step.  I know, so 1990s, but I think its fun and it'll keep me moving. :-)

Work is getting busier, which is a good thing.

Last night I made a really good soup!  It was basically a chicken broth and veggies, with spinach and italian sausage (sauteed like ground beef).  I added some extra italian seasonings and some fresh parsley.  I served it with a salad and mixed berries (for something sweet).  It was cool and rainy, and hub really enjoyed it.  It was a quick, easy meal with plenty of leftovers.

If I haven't mentioned it, breakfast this week is greek style meatloaf with sliced tomatoes.  Lunch is roasted chicken and chopped vegetables over salad greens.  Tonight's dinner is goulash (in the crockpot) with roasted green beans on the side. 

This week I bought (at Aldi) the long, whole green beans frozen, and roasted them in the oven just like I would the fresh ones.  They were really good - nearly as good as fresh!  Not to mention much cheaper and easier for one person to cook what they need without worrying about them going bad.  I tried roasting regular frozen green beans, and they weren't nearly as tasty.  And these weren't much more expensive, so I thought they were a really good find!  I like Aldi a lot (that's where I shopped when I lived in Germany).

Let's make good choices today!

Some days being a grown up stinks

I have had a headache for 3 days.  I said those words to my mom this morning and she replied "Have you checked your blood pressure?"  My initial thought was "Uh, no.  Why would I do that?"  Because even when I am carrying a few extra pounds, my blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar - all that stuff is really good.  (Hub and I go the all the doctors we are supposed to faithfully on schedule.)  I am blessed to come from 2 families who enjoy long, healthy, lives.  Women who are 90-98, living at home on practically no medication is pretty much the norm.  Heck, my grandma toured China and hiked part of the Great Wall at 80!

You know where this is going, right?

My mom knows we have a nurse here and she wanted me to go.  I told her they have a bp machine right across from the fitness center and told her I would use it.  I nearly forgot, but I did on the way down to heat up my breakfast.  Yeah, it was high.

It may be a combination of factors, but I'm sure the largest is stress.

My challenge is that in 3 years I've been to 3 doctors - one no longer accepts my insurance and the other 2 sucked.  Everyone down here agrees that finding a good doctor is very difficult.  But I put on my big girl panties, logged on the UHC web site, and got the names of a couple of general practitioners in my town. 

I then ran into a colleague I know pretty well in the ladies room who lives in the same town.  She said it had taken her 3 tries but that she had found a good doctor (but she has different insurance).  Anyway, she sent me the name of her doctor and she was on my list from UHC.  So I am going to call TODAY and make a doctor appointment.

I need to take care of myself, and I can do a better job.  But also I may need support of a medical professional given my current stress levels.  Admitting that is hard, but denying it is foolish.

Thoughts for the day

Thought 1:  "Happiness is a gift you give yourself."

True.  We can focus on the things that are good and that bring us joy.  No circumstances are ever "perfect."

In a similar vein, Thought 2:

Also true.  There are circumstances we can't change - we all have them.  Wallowing in misery isn't very productive.  But forgiving yourself when you do makes it easier to move on. :-)

I am doing Jillian Michael's "Ripped in 30", which for me is more like "More Fit in 45" because no, I won't be "ripped" in 30 days even if I follow it to the letter.  And I am going to do the first week twice (at least) and ditto with week 2.

I am finding my current circumstances of having to "baby" my back very frustrating.  It has apparently decided to be tricky and easily overused.  After spending most of my adulthood at a pretty high level of fitness, I am finding my current low level of fitness beyond frustrating.  Not only that, I find myself using it as a measure of worth, which creates even more frustration.  And right now I don't need the extra stress - not that anyone ever needs that kind of bull crap.  Accepting where you are and going from there is much better than beating yourself up for where you are.

Got up this morning and took a nice walk.  Planned to work from home this morning before my dental appointment, but my computer fan is broken and won't turn on.  Waiting for tech services to call.  Ugh.

Hub is moving back to NC next week - Tuesday or so (depending on renting a trailer).  That leaves me down here alone.  We looked at a calendar and set a date - May 30 in stone.  If I don't have a job in NC by then, I am leaving anyway.  We will have enough money in savings to pay the bills for 3 months and hub should be earning something by then.  It's not ideal, but I can't stay in limbo forever.

So please send good employment thoughts my way.  Leaving a great company after 14+ years is a HARD decision to make, but reality is that even if we wanted to stay down here (which we don't for many reasons), we simply can't afford to without hub working full time.  And the construction industry down here is flooded with guys who were laid off, so finding work here is extremely difficult.  After 2.5 years of looking, hub has had 2 interviews - and he has 20+ years of experience and has a highly desirable skill set.  I'm taking that as a pretty clear signal that this isn't where we are supposed to be.

It's scary - one of the scariest things I've ever done (and I've done some scary things in my life), mainly because I have a family that depends on me - not just me. 

I call my girlfriends regularly, and we are headed to Jacksonville this weekend to visit friends.  I am flying to NC at the end of February for our son's birthday and we have a beach house in SC for a week in April for my birthday.  So I have plenty of good things to break up the time and for me to look forward to.

I made pretty good choices yesterday - I feel good about that!

Have a good day.

For all the crazy, my life is good

This was not the best weekend.

Saturday was fine.  We did the shopping and then decided to be total slugs - hanging out & watching movies.  Sunday started out pretty good.  We went to the beach.  It was breezy and felt good and I love the beach.

After that the day just went downhill.  I didn't feel well - physically or mentally.  I think part of it is stress, part was postponing lunch until 2 in the afternoon, and there is a cold going around.  I woke up with a headache and couldn't shake it. 

Tomorrow I get my new permanent top 4 teeth (and spend  $7500) and then I live with how they look for the rest of my life.  The good news is that tomorrow is the end of a long, expensive, stressful, dental journey. 

I got up this morning and took some cold medicine (and brought in a second dose for later).  I packed my breakfast and my lunch.  I am getting ready to go downstairs to the fitness center.  I am doing the right things. 

I am struggling with the big picture - with the plan. So I've decided to stop focusing on the long view and focus on the day to day.  That feels within my control - so much else just doesn't right this minute.  And I am tired of worrying about things over which I have no control.

Make good choices today!  Ultimately, that's all we can do.

Happy Weekend

I had a pretty easy day today, which was nice.  I found myself in a funk last nice over a disagreement with my mom.  That kinda sucked.

This weekend I am going to pack up some more stuff to send with hub, who will be heading to NC in less than 2 weeks.

Realizing you want to make a life change is hard: realizing you aren't currently in a position to do so is even harder.  But we'll get there.

Have a good weekend!

On the mend

Thanks for the good wishes Mrs Swan!  I am feeling much better today.

Besides feeling cruddy for a couple of days, I had really strained (or something) my back last week.  Not your usual "I worked out and now I'm sore", it was definitely a minor inury. 

So I took 4 days off exercise, today being my first day back at the fitness center.  I sat down with a spreadsheet to plan out exercise, to include at least 3 days of cardio, 3 days of weights, and 5 days of stretching or yoga.  I like having an organized plan so that you can see progress.

Here is a picture of the world's least attractive breakfast:

You are probably wondering what it is.  It's my version of a "burrito" - seasoned ground turkey, a few pinto beans, and salsa served over vegetables and topped with avocado.  Ugly but tasty and filling.  Also, its a way to get vegetables into breakfast.

Lunch for today is mixed vegetables and grilled chicken thigh over greens.  Dinner tonight is soup and chef salad.

I bought a plane ticket to fly up to NC next month for my son's birthday.  That will be nice.

Have a good day!

I'll be back

I've felt like poop since Monday night.  Really, really yucky.  Fortunately, I worked at home yesterday.  This morning I turned off the alarm and considered calling in dead.

But I reached into my proverbial suitcase of courage and put on clothes and went.  Anyway, I am still (mostly) alive, and will return when I feel more human.

Take care.

A nice way to start the week!

Got on the scale this morning and I'd lost a half pound over the weekend!  Woo hoo!  AND the commute seemed awfully easy - then I remembered it was a holiday.  Double woo hoo!

On the loss:  This weekend I made an effort to eat only at mealtime (I had one snack - during the football game).  The weekends generally find me grazing away since food is readily available.  I ate meals I enjoyed that were nutritious.  I might've even eaten a little more than normal, but not treating the weekend as a food "free for all" worked.  Who knew!?!

My office is open 24 hours a day every day of the year.  That may sound like a bummer, but the up side is that I get holidays in my vacation time, and can use them as I choose.  I really like that.  So I saved today's holiday for next month, when I am hoping to fly up to NC for my son's birthday.

Here's a good thought for the day, taken from the web site: 1950s Diet. 

I hope you have an excellent day!

Productive!

(How I will feel tomorrow morning.)

Yesterday we did grocery shopping.  In the afternoon I pulled all the "winter" clothes out (or what passes for winter clothing in south Fla), and tried every single item on.  I determined what fits, what doesn't, and what needed medning and/or ironing.

What doesn't fit has been moved, things have been ironed and/or mended, and clothing has been roughly organized so that tops that go with brown pants are with brown and tops that go with black are near black etc.

This should make getting dressed much easier in the morning and was overdue about 2 weeks (which is when it seriously began to "cool down").

This morning I did the food prep and then went to work on the mending/ironing I mentioned.  I have a couple more chores this afternoon, but overall I feel like I've gotten a lot accomplished this weekend.

My back is still bothering me from Wednesday.  I am using tiger balm and motrin, and taking it easy.  Gah. 

Anyway, it's been a good weekend.  I always feel better when I tackle stuff I've been avoiding, don't you?

Have a good day!

What I eat, what I don't

Typical weekday lunch.

Hub and I follow a low carb diet.  We don't eat processed food.  We avoid wheat (it bothers me, and bothers him even more).  We avoid sugar.  As a Native American, my husband is very sensitive to any form of simple carb, so we do our best to leave them out of our diet.

I don't worry too much about food labels (clean, primal, paleo) - we eat what works for us.

We eat meat, vegetables,some fruit, and some nuts and seeds.  We sometimes eat cheese or greek yogurt, but I don't keep a lot of cheese in the house for the simple reason that it is a serious trigger for me. 

Are we 100% compliant?  No.  We do have occasional foods that aren't on that list, but we don't keep them in the house as a general rule.  That way they don't become a habit.

I love certain flavors (like mexican), so I may do something like serve ground seasoned turkey and salsa over sauteed veggies.  A favorite way to make a wrap is to use a collard leaf.  I adapt foods and flavors that I like to foods we can eat.

I bought a spiralizer to turn zucchini into noodles.  When I make fried rice, I roughly chop bean sprouts and saute them - my family doesn't even miss the rice!

My eating has evolved over the years, especially since my husband was diagnosed as pre-diabetic.  Thankfully he never developed diabetes, but we need to be vigilant about our foods.  That's a pretty good motivation!   

Conflicted

The grandpuppies.  Because a post is always better if it starts with a cute dog picture!

So, I applied for a job up in Asheville NC.  I got my rejection letter yesterday.  I was seriously overqualified, but: it was a similar rol but in a new type of business, so I felt like it would offer some challenge and it was with a good company.  On the down side, Asheville has the highest cost of living in NC, and based from what we were seeing online, finding a good place for the homestead (at a reasonable price) might have proved a challenge.

So I am sorry I didn't get it, but we weren't sure that's where we wanted to land.

Hub hasn't worked since before Christmas.  It's been nearly 3 years since he has a full time job, so we are a 2 income family who has been operating on 1.5 incomes for nearly years.  Add a bunch of dental bills, and it's no wonder we are in such a tight financial situation.

In the meantime, hub will be headed back to NC in 2 weeks or so to look for work from there.  I am stuck here, alone, in a small rental until one of us gets a full time job.

Ugh.

Going for a walk.

Week in review

I was up 0.2 pounds this week - essentially stayed the same.  I'm okay with that, it was a difficult week.

I did have a better day yesterday and feel pretty good about today as well!  I went for a walk yesterday afternoon and my back was still really hurting - I clearly either overdid it or used bad form (which happens when I get tired).  Either way, I intend to add more moves in with my swings and start with fewer swings.  I love them because they get my heart rate up, but I need to not be so hurt I can't do anything else!  So, plan for today is a cardio video (back permitting) and my wonderful 30 minute stretch video.

Foodwise, I have packed my homemade burrito every morning and I am loving it so much I decided to make them again next week!

For lunch I brought the rest of the eggplant parm from dinner the other night (I only ate a little over half).  I will get a salad to go with it.  I also have a few almonds and an apple for a snack.

Dinner last night was baked flounder, sweet potato fries, and broccoli.  Tonight I am having nachos made with 2 corn tortillas baked (for the chips), ground turkey, refried beans, and avocado.  And salsa of course.  I am having another green salad on the side (I don't like lettuce on my nachos - I have this weird thing about cold foods on top of hot ones.)

Lunches next week are grilled chicken thighs in a salad.

No big plans for the weekend - pull out my sweaters and thicker pants!  And hub is cleaning my car.  We might get up Sunday and go for a walk on the beach - that would be nice.

I struggle at times with how much to put down here.  I feel like sometimes I come off as a whiner (and sometimes I am!), but I also have a lot of difficult things going on right now.  I try to be "real" and honest, but I don't want to put out all the details of my life either.  I continue to search for the middle ground.

Have a great weekend!

Blech

I am channeling my inner "grumpy cat" today.  I won't regale you with my tale of burned dinner and etc. that made me so cranky, but I was.

I did watch 2 good mvies on tv last night "He said, she said" - an old Kevin Bacon romantic comedy, and "The Big Year" which is a sweet comedy with Jack Black, Owen Wilson, and Steve Martin.

But I was still grumpy.

I had to get to work early this morning so AM walk will be a PM walk, like we did yesterday.  I did kettlebells yesterday: 15 minute cardio with light weights to warm up, 150 swings, followed by about 15 minutes of stretch.  I felt fine, but when I walked my back was KILLING me!  Why?  Ugh!

Last night, I ended up eating take-out eggplant parm (no pasta) (see comment about burned dinner) and snacking even though I was full.  Blech.

Today is a better day!  I will keep telling myself that until I feel it! :-)

It is cooler here today but I wore a long sleeved shirt rather than hunt up a sweater (they aren't exactly front and center in my closet).  I am wearing a jacket at my desk.  Brr.

Today will be a better day!!!

Good Morning

Good morning and happy Wednesday. :-)

This morning was a cool-ish rainy morning, but it had stopped by the time I got to work.  It is supposed to really cool down tonight (49).  I get to wear a sweater tomorrow!  Woo hoo!

I'm doing okay.  Monday I was feeling down, yesterday more positive, today more in the middle.  Focusing on the positive and all that. 

Overall I am happy with the implants and new crowns but I will be honest, I don't think they look as good as the bridge did.  With a bridge, there is a lot more freedom as far as the shape of the teeth (its hard to explain).  With an implant, where the top of the tooth is gets dictated by where the implant is, which is where the oral surgeon could find the bone to put it in!  As a result, my front teeth now start farther back in my mouth and lower.  Luckily, I have a low smile line (you don't see the tops of my teeth when I smile), so it won't be noticable to most people. 

On the plus side, these will last forever and won't damage more teeth!

Since it was rainy, hub and I agreed to walk this afternoon rather than this morning.

Food this week:

Breakfast burrito (ground turkey, refried beans, salsa).

Lunch = salad (surprise).  Using steak this week and a variety of veggies (zucchini, tomato, celery, carrot. and a few green olives).

Dinner last night: big green salad, deviled eggs, and lima bean soup made with a lot of veggies and some turkey smoked sausage (kinda like kielbasa).  My husband loves deviled eggs and lima bean soup, so he was very happy.

Dinner tonight is baby carrots and chicken in the crock pot, which will be served with quinoa and sauteed spinach (I need to use it up).

Evening snacking has been better this week, so that's good.

We have increased our AM walking distance and have been consistent.

Speaking of which, its about time for me to head to the fitness center.  Today is kettlebells!

Have a good day!

Checking In

A happier expression. :-)

Today I worked at home since I had a dental appointment.  My last trip to try on my permanent crowns was disappointing - I was NOT happy with how they looked.  My dentist is terrific - she took tons of notes & pics and today the result was MUCH better.  They need polishing and will be put in 2 weeks from today.  After nearly 2 years, my dental journey is coming to an end! Woo hoo!

Jordan, looking sad the morning we left.

Welcome back

We had a very nice weekend in Key Largo.  Sadly, by yesterday afternoon it was back to reality! :-O

Food is prepped for the week and laundry is done.  Suitcase is not unpacked.  Work computer has been sent away for fixing (fingers crossed).  I have a loaner and I think I got the files I HAVE to have for working over the next couple of days.

It was a wonderful weekend - I didn't want to come back!

Tursday in Review, and looking forward to the weekend!

Thursday I worked at home, which was a nice change.  We got up, took our usual morning walk, and I made breakfast: my usual boiled eggs and I made a pot of oatmeal.  I added some of my leftover butternut squash to mine to increase the volume and boost the nutrition.  It was yummy!  Definitely a do-over.

Lunch was also a little different: rotisserie chicken with baked tomatoes and spinach topped with fresh basil and a little cheese.  Dinner was lentil soup - a favorite, and a turkey burger patty.

This weekend we are heading to Key Largo, staying at the Hilton Key Largo Resort, which is a favorite hotel.  We felt the need to get away for what is likely the last time before hub heads north.  We intend to enjoy some seafood, sight seeing, and the hotel hot tub.  We are both feeling stiff and sore and I have a vague suspicion that the hot tub may be the part we are both looking forward to the most!

Today's schedule includes: (am walk - done) kettlebell workout and something (cardio? stretching/), work, and some grocery shopping this evening so we can get a head start on the weekend chores.

Climbed on the scale this morning - I was down 1.5 pounds and hub was down 7.  Men stink! :-O

Have a good weekend!

Wednesday: change of plans

One thing I didn't admit when I posted yesterday was that I REALLY didn't want to work out, and had 75% convinced myself not to.

I think going from 100 kb swings to nothing for 2 weeks to 215 swings was too much.  My low back was feeling stiff and I was feeling blah.  I finally convinced myself to just do 50 swings to "stretch".  I went downstairs and did a couple of sets of clean and presses to warm up, followed by 100 swings.  Then I did a really good 30 minute stretch video. 

My brain was scattered and jumping everywhere and I could not quiet my thoughts.  I just let them bounce around but continued the stretch video.  Go me!  One thing I did notice was that my muscles are incredibly tight.  My kingdom for 20 minutes in a hot tub!

Another change was food.  I mentioned that I opted out of protein powder and had a small bowl of oatmeal instead.  At lunch I was COLD (it's not that it is that freezing here, but we have no heat in the building and it was rainy, so there was definitely a damp chill in the air).  I ate half my salad and had a cup of chicken noodle soup to go with it.  About the same calories, not as many nutrients, but I really enjoyed having something hot with my lunch.

I came home, took a hot bath (it helped) and we watched a funny movie: "RIPD". 

Random thought I need to remember:   "It doesn't actually matter what other people are doing, because lamenting that you don't have what someone else does will not change anything for you. Well, it'll make you more miserable, but it certainly won't deliver any benefits."

Stay warm!

Random

Last night was .... challenging.

I ate a good dinner (I skipped the butternut squash because I was full after the pork chop and broccoli).  Hub & I ran a couple of errands after we ate.  Once I got home I was feeling really sad and teary - no specific reason, just "everything".  He decided to go to the convenience store for a chocolate bar and a root beer.  He asked me if I wanted anything and I said no.

This morning I woke up feeling hungry.  I decided to skip the protein powder (110 calories I don't enjoy) and have a small bowl of oatmeal instead.  Roughly the same calories and much more satisfying.  I need to just admit the protein powder was a fail and throw it away!

It is a rainy, yucko day here today.  It would've been a good day to stay home and watch movies, but I am at work.  Adulthood: highly overrated at times. :-)

Have a good one!

Pump up the volume

I came into this year with some pretty good habits: cooking my own (largely unprocessed) foods at home for the vast majority of my meals, walking, and utilizing the fitness center here at work.

My goal now is to continue my good habits, but 'volumize' them:

• More (quantity) and more varied vegetables in my lunch salad
• More vegetables with dinner
• More frequent and longer walks
• Work to build/increase my kettlebell workouts

For this week my lunch salad consists of bell pepper, green onion, carrot, celery, squash, shredded cabbage, lettuce and spinach (bought at work) and diced rotisserie chicken breast with homemade dressing.  It wouldn't all fit in a 3 cup container - I had about 1.5 cups of cabbage in a separate baggie!

Monday's kettlebell workout was 50 swings to warm up followed by a ladder: 10 swings, 11, 12, etc up to 20 swings in a minute.  A total of 215 swings after a 20 minute cardio workout to warm up.

Breakfast for this week is a scoop of protein powder in my coffee (I bought it for our camping trip and it was never used.  It's really good stuff from "Whole paycheck" so I don't want to waste it.), along with 2 boiled eggs with mustard (makes them taste kinda like deviled eggs). 

Lunch is the aforementioned huge salad.  Afternoon snack is a medium apple and 12 almonds.

Dinner last night was a small bowl of hamburger soup, about 2 oz rotisserie chicken, a mound of roasted broccoli, and a sliced tomato.

Dinner tonight is a baked pork chop, sauteed spinach, baked butternut squash (which I eat plain because I like it that way), and a sliced tomato.

In addition to my weekday workouts at the fitness center, hub and I are walking in the morning as well as doing a short (around the block) stroll in the evening after dinner.  That is less about "exercise" as it is a chance for us to talk without the distraction of tv etc., as well as a nice way to get in a little movement before we settle in.

Overall I would say my mood after the holiday is much better.  While things right now are far from settled, I have a much greater sense that we are moving in a good direction, as opposed to simply floundering.

Yes, I would like to lose some weight.  However, the reality is that healthy food and habits help my stress levels.  And I have enough stress on my plate with everything going on - I need all the help I can get! :-)

Back

Well, I will say its good to be back to warmer weather!

We returned Saturday night and spent yesterday doing the usual: buy groceries, prep food for the week, and also unpack from vacay.

Not too much to report.  I would describe my mood right now as resolute.  No big new years resolutions or anything like that. but this is the year I definitely "sort my life out" on many fronts. 

Good stuff!

Brief holiday recap

I won't post tomorrow - we are heading to the coast (Wilmington) to see our son's boat, but I was online today and thought I'd do a quick check-in.

This holiday has been super nice, although certainly not perfect.  Too many houseguests for too long creates a lot of anxiety, and we have suffered from that.  Otherwise it has been awesome.

I haven't done half the things I thought I'd do and I am perfectly fine with that! 

I will write more about my goals for 2014 another day, but just wanted to drop by and wish you all a happy and healthy 2014.

love,
me

Happy Holiday hiatus

Good morning!

I hope you are enjoying some time off and doing important stuff like spending time with loved ones and re-creating your grandmother's ice box fruit cake (well, my mom did that last one actually!  And ice box fruit cake is good!).

I didn't plan to take this much time off from the blog, but it happens.  It's been enjoyable so far.  We are heading back home on Saturday. 

It has been quite cold and I haven't been getting outside as much as I would like - I've become a wimp after 2.5 years in south Florida!  But we've been doing a lot of running around, so I've kept active.  And I cooked my butt off a couple of days (Christmas day and then cooked stuff to send home with my son).  I think that with the total lack of Thanksgiving dinner I went a little overboard on Christmas and cooked a dish or 2 too many.  But we had a crowd and everyone enjoyed everything.  I made the best turkey I've ever made, I have to say.  It was sooo moist and tender. 

Yesterday I got together with my best friend.  We went out for lunch and I had a big, fresh salad, which was excellent.  Then we walked around an antique mall just looking around.  I spend $3.84 on a couple of little things (neither for me).

It's been great sleeping in my own bed (our queen bed is now at my mom's since the guest room had a twin bed) and cuddling with my dogs.  Jordan isn't a lap dog - she's far too independent for that.  But we've done a lot of playing and hugging.  I can tell she's missed me as much as I have missed her.

It's been a great visit and it's going to be very tough to go back to Ft. L, away from family & friends.  But you do what you have to do sometimes.  Ah, the joys of adulthood. :-)

Take care and I will get back to regular posting next week!

T-2 hours!

Yep, car is mostly packed, bags are mostly packed, and we are heading out in just a couple of hours!

We are glad the trip will be broken up, rather than having to do it all tomorrow.  Plus, we get to our dogs sooner!

I never would have imagined 2 adults with an actual human child could miss their dogs so much, but we do!  (For the record, we miss the human child and the rest of our family as well.)

I probably won't post this weekend.  Enjoy and I hope you won't make yourself crazy trying to do too many things last minute!

Be good to yourself. :-)

Like an Ember in my Heart

The past couple of days I've been feeling stressed.  I just go with it these days.  It culminated in a meltdown Tuesday night when my in-laws expected one more completely inconsiderate and unreasonable thing (for my husband to spend several hours on the road Christmas eve day so neither my BIL nor any of his adult children would have to).

After my meltdown hub and I both agreed that 1) the request was unreasonable and 2) that MIL going up to Maryland with none of her things and no car was a recipe for disaster (did I ever write about the Christmas BIL & fam threw her out in the middle of a blizzard (well, she did have a car) and she made a terrifying 2 hour drive back to her house and then my mom and husband drove 15 hours to get her butt so she wouldn't be alone for Christmas?).

ANYWAY.  Stressed and emotional, table for one.

But this morning, I had a dream.  It was the last dream before I woke up for good around 5-ish.  (Then I laid in bed for about an hour just dozing & thinking about it).  It wasn't anything fancy or exotic, just me & my mom over at my grandparent's house helping them do some work around the house.  Everybody was just acting like themselves - my grandparents were being sweet & funny and we were all having a good time.

The thing is that Papa has been dead for nearly 12 years, and Monie for nearly 3.  But that's irrelevant, because I felt their love for me as vividly as if they had been in the room with me.  Which I believe they were.  Because I believe 2 things based upon experience: I believe that angels visit us, as well as the dead.  It's been years since either of my grandparents visited me - I'm sure they have plenty to do, but they obviously felt I needed a reminder that 1) I am loved and 2) I will be okay.  And I carry that reminder, like an ember in my heart.

I am crazy for vintage ornaments

For years I have really admired the 1950s Shiny-Brite ornaments.  But they can be pricey on ebay and even pricier to buy new, so I was very happy to see on retrorenovation.com that Target is selling knock-offs, in a couple of different colorways:

The red/green combo was available online (and on sale!) but the pink & aqua above was not available online.  They had them in my local store, but not on sale.  I asked, and they price matched their web site.  Woot!  I got a box for myself and one for my mom.

I love ornaments.  I wish I could have a tree this year, but at least I have cute ornaments! :-)

Staying Positive

Yesterday the hub woke up feeling blue, and was still kinda sad when I got home.  I took him out for some hot soup.  I felt the same this morning.  I have no idea why.  We're both excited about gettign to leave on Friday.

This morning I went to the German deli and bought 2 bottles of curry ketchup (it's a German thing).  I ususally have to make it from scratch, but I braved 'old' Ft. Lauderdale and all the crazy roads and traffic.  I bought a bottle for my husband and one to put in with the boy's Christmas bag.  he's mostly getting money, but I have a few small things for him as well.

I really like Christmas music, but one of my favorite songs I on;y heard for the first time last year, (even though it's older than me!), on the holiday staion on the tv of all places!

Have you ever heard of Mitch Miller?  I hadn't either but he was big in the music business, especially in the 50s and 60s, and even had his own show "Sing Along with Mitch Miller".  Anyway, he has a christmas song "Must be Santa" that's a sort of polka singalong that always brings a smile to my face.  If you get a chance, head over to Grooveshark or one of those music sites that lets you play specific songs and give it a listen.  It will put a smile on your face! :-)

Happy Holidays

I love doing crafty things, and I love Christmas.  Lately I've seen some really cute craft ideas over on the retro renovation website.  I also saw an adorable wreath on ebay:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/190761443680?ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1438.l2649

The cool things about it is that if you are crafty, you can easily make your own version!  Which I may do with my mom over the holidays. :-)

Also, I have a credit card with Hilton rewards and so we frequently stay using our points.  I found a Hampton Inn about 5.5 hours up the road for a very reasonable point value, so I booked us in for Friday night.  So we are going to get on the road when I get off work Friday!  That will put us that much farther up the road Saturday, not to mention it will make the drive easier by breaking it up.

I am so excited to be going to my mom's for the holidays!!!

I'm not really stressed this year - at least not about the holidays.  We all agreed to put a very strict spending limit on gifts, so we are just focused on being together and enjoying each other.

So I am getting very excited!

The quiet before the holiday storm

This is my last "full" week at work, and it promises to be a quiet one.  (I'm working 2 days a week for the following 2 weeks, then back to normal.)  Many people are beginning to go out for the remainder of the year (today is my boss' last day until after the holidays), so it's a good time to go through old files and generally clean the desk in prep for a new year.

The weekend was a quiet one.  Saturday we rode to Naples to visit friends after I did the grocery shopping and hub had a dental appointment.  Yesterday we did minimal food prep (meatloaf for breakfast and hub grilled chicken for our lunch salads).  We watched a couple of holiday movies and part of a football game.

This afternoon I need to sort through my kitchen stuff.  I plan to pack some more of it up for storage - I left out far more than I am using.  It'll be nice to have it out of the way.

Anyway, it promises to be a low key week, both at work and at home, and then Saturday we head for NC.  Woot!

Have a good day!

Happy Friday

Isn't that my title every Friday??? :-)

Down about 2 pounds this week - woot!

Took a very nice walk last night around a different part of the neighborhood to check out the lights.  It was very nice.  Temps here have cooled down to the upper 70s/very low 80s and the humidity has dropped.  Now that's a Christmas gift!!!

Hope you have a nice weekend!

Random

Filed under "Your heels might be too high if...".  If I overhear you in the ladies room talking on the phone, telling your friend that you have to take your shoes off to drive your car, they might be too high.  "They aren't made for driving" you say.  I say, "Aren't shoes made for wearing while you are living???"  Weird.

This is a reminder to me, especially at this time of year:  The difference between 3 and 43 is that at 43, you have the life experience and intellectual capacity to realize that foregoing short term pleasure can offer long term benefits.  Sure you can have a cookie from the breakroom, but it probably won't help you lower your cholesterol (or your pants size!).  You can opt to save money.  Just because you get a 30% off coupon in the mail from your fave store, you can, you know, NOT use it.  Your bank account will thank you.  This isn't "sacrafice" - this is being mature.  Also, skip the last minute "I haven't bought enough!  Red alert!  Buy more crap to put in the stockings!"  My child is 18 - we can skip stockings, thankyouverymuch.

My holiday cards are done - neener neener neener! :-)

Emotion Ocean, and we're talking high seas!

My emotions have been crazy the past couple of days.  I've been really down in the dumps, with no particular cause. 

Tuesday afternoon I was feeling teary and sad and decided to indulge in a little retail therapy.  Which I figured was better than eating.  I went to Goodwill to check out their holiday stuff, looking for little bits that mom and I could use to make some ornaments.  Cause I like to get my craft on from time to time.  That was a no go, but I did find a holiday fleece top with penguins for $1.25 and a pair of Chico's slacks in the style I like in a color I don't have (a kinda khaki color) for $2.  So I spent less than $4 and got a top that I can wear up in NC while we're up there and pants for work.  Not too bad.

Yesterday I went to the dentist so she could "try on" my permanent crowns and see how they look.  I was there for over 3 hours.  It was very frustrating.  She did get them adjusted so they fit, but they really don't look quite right.  It's maybe a matter of millimeters here and there, but when you have to live with your smile for the rest of your life and spent roughly $17,000, you want it to look right.  And right now it doesn't.  So the crowns went back to the lab for tweaking, and then we'll do another test fit.  I am supposed to get them "installed" Jan 7, but if they aren't right, I'll need another appointment.  Le sigh.

All in all, a teary couple of  days.

Part of it is the heat.  Please don't a) laugh or b) be jealous.  Where I am living right now the a/c isn't on, it's in the mid 80s, and the himidity is in the 90s.  It's too hot in the house to wear my "winter" clothes in to the office (although it's cold at work), and the humidity means my bangs look like Shirley Temple stuck her finger in an electric socket (frizz city!) moments after walking in the door.  This morning I resorted to using the curling iron to straighten them, and burned my forehead.  Again with the le sigh.

Again, there's loads of good stuff - looks like we'll be in NC for 2 weeks, hub has a promising lead on a job opportunity, and this Saturday we are faced with a nearly whole day (after his 9:30 dental appt) with nothing to do but go have fun somewhere.  Oh, and my Christmas cards are nearly done!  Woot!

I have a busy morning so no idea when I will get a workout in - this afternoon I hope. Worst case scenario I walk this evening and double up tomorrow - kettlebells AND Jillian Michaels.

Anyway, just needed to vent a bit.  I hate it when I feel like my emotions are driving the bus and I'm just a passenger trying to get off!!!

Have a good one!

Checking In

Exercise is going extremely well.  My plan is to try & do several small bursts, spread throughout the day.  That keeps the periods I spend just sitting from being too long (I sit at a computer all day, so I try to incorporate getting up & moving into that time) and lets me do more without it feeling too daunting. 

Yesterday I walked in the morning, did a 30 minute cardio videoa and 100 kettlebell swings at work, then took a walk in the neighborhood after dinner to see the Christmas lights.  This morning I walked before work, came in and did a workout from Jillian Michael's "Ripped in 30" and I plan to walk again this evening.  The workouts at the office are fairly high intensity - walking in the neighborhood certainly is not, but it's time I'm not asleep or sitting, so that's good.

As you know, I plan and prep my food for breakfasts and lunches on the weekends.  This week I made a tactical error, when ended in a poor choice yesterday.  For my lunches, instead of grilling chicken or adding chickpeas to my salad, I took some homemade falafel out of the freezer.  the problem was I didn't like them the first time and I looked at it yesterday and said "yuck." 

For several weeks now I've been eyeing the seafood linguine in the cafeteria every time they serve it.  Yesterday was probably the 4th time I've seen it and the falafel was the final push I needed to cave and buy it.  It wasn't as good as it looked and I didn't finish it, but still, the point is that had I brought in some yummy grilled chicken or something I probably would have opted to skip the pasta.

Dinner last night was really good - baked chicken, sweet potato "fries" (baked in the oven), and yello squash.  We both really enjoyed that and since we ate a little later than normal, there was no after dinner snacking.  It also helped I was really tired and went to bed early!

Anyway, that's what is happening around these parts.  Just looking forward to seeing my family for the holidays.

Take care.

Unseasonable weather weekend

Good morning!

I hope you had a nice weekend and it wasn't filled with an overabundance of crazy. :-)

Friday night hub got home at a reasonable time and we had a nice dinner.  Saturday we got up and did our chores: grocery shopping, food prep, laundry, drop off his car for servicing.  Poor husband!  He went to Costc0 while I started food prep.  He finally got home and all he said was "I hate people."  Saturday morning and they had the police out directing traffic at Costc0!!!  Luckily, we got the bulk items we needed and everything else cna be purchased at the regular store until after the holidays!

I think we finished mid-afternoon-ish and watched a little tv.  I made dinner (baked fist, roasted brussel sprouts, sweet potatoes).  I experimented with making my own pumpkin spice creamer and it sucked, but I'm willing to try again.

Saunday morning we got up, fixed breakfast, took a walk, and headed for Morikami Museum & Gardens.  Turns out there was a Japanese farming settlement a few miles north of Ft. Lauderdale that began in 1904-ish.  The gentleman who founded the settlement left roughly 140 acres to be set aside as a museum & japanese garden.  The garden has examples of traditional gardens from various periods of japanese history, as well as some statues and architectural features, a large bonsai display, and a lovely cafe.

All told, we were there for around 3 hours.  It is one of those things I've wanted to do since we moved here but never found time.  The loop through the gardens is maybe a mile, but we spent a lot of time looking at things & taking pictures.

And there is the upside of right now: I am not a slave to my house.  Don't get me wrong, I'm one of those wacky people who enjoy housework and keeping my house clean.  But it was too big & too difficult for just one person.  Next time I want to be more intentional about the size & how we set things up to make it easier to keep neat & tiday.  And I will contionue to downsize my possessions!

The weather here is about 11 degrees above average, just freakishly warm.  I could use with a little crisp in the air!

Take care & have a good day!

Weird week, and other observations

This has been an odd week, partly because we drove back from NC on Monday.  Also, hub had Tuesday off but has been working late the past couple of days.  Yay money but it's left me a bit adrift as far as dinner.  Last night I ate a frozen meal.  Ugh.  I am ashamed - I know that stuff is crap.

Got on the scale this morning - I've lost 0.4 pounds in the last month.  In other words, I've made it through the recent stressors without gaining - which was my personal goal.

Yesterday I did a cardio video and did 100 kb swings.  Today I did a workout from Jillian Michael's "Ripped in 30 Days" (or something like that) video.  I've been slacking on the weight training, and I need that back in my life.  I like the video and plan to do it for the next couple of weeks.  Once we go to NC, I'll need to take my kb with me - I don't have any weights at my mom's, or a place to do a workout video.  But the kb and I are very familiar with her front porch (unlike the back porch, it's dog free).

I have a pair of Earth Spirit brand sandals from W-M that I wear around the house ALL the time.  I don't like wearing sneakers constantly (although I wear them if I will be standing a lot - like food prep).  I like to be able to take my shoes off when I sit down, so sandals are nice.  But I have very high arches so I need something with a sneaker-like base.  These are those shoes - very supportive and comfortable.  I've been wearing them for years.  I generally go through 2 pair per year and I've worn them for 7 or 8 years I guess.  My husband calls them my "Pocahontas shoes".  Here's a pic:

Mine are a slightly different style, but they are dark brown.  So what's the point of this story?  I forgot to change into my work shoes before I left the house this morning!  A blue, white, & black print shirt, black capris, and brown sandals.  Oops!  TGIF casual Friday.  Or in my case, casual & mismatched Friday!

Have a good weekend!

Just thinking

I'm listening to Christmas music and thinking about snow and winter and how so much of the world goes into hibernation. (Except here.  Here is where all your birds, of both the winged and 2 legged "snow" varieties, come to get away from the cold & snow.)

Except a lot is really going on during that hibernation -there's a lot happening within the sleeping earth to prepare for spring and the tremendous burst of visible growth.

I guess my life is like that right now.  There's a lot of preparation for the next big stage going on in what appears on the surface to be a lull in the action.

It's been a long time since I made such a radical change.  I've forgotten what it's like.

Overall, having got a large chunk of the hard work behind me, I am feeling more positive.

Moving On

Things I've done/decisions I've made:

The past few weeks, every time I made soup in the crockpot I froze some in disposable containers.  I now have a well stocked freezer full of nutritious soups to eat for meals.  I've also decided to focus meals around the meat & 2 veg model - easy stuff I can toss onto a cookie sheet and put in the oven for a little bit: fish or pork chops or a piece of chicken with roasted veg and something like a sweet potato or squash on the side.  Did you know you can roast frozen vegetables?  Yup! 

Last night hub had to work late - I had a cup of vegetable/ground turkey soup with a slice of rye bread cheesy toast.  Tonight is lentil soup with a cornbread muffin.  Easy stuff that keeps us from eating out.

There are a lot of up sides to our choices, which is why we made the decision we did.  Right now there is a health-impacting upside: I have a much smaller space to clean since a lot of our stuff is in storage.  This leaves us more time to do things like walk & go places.  The plan for the weekend is Everglades National Park, or Key Largo, or both!  But with minimal shopping and food prep to do and practically no cleaning, I have time!  And both the time and inclination (due to the mild weather) to walk in the afternoons. :-)

So while this wasn't an easy choice, I am trying to embrace the plusses.

Let's just forget that happened

What a weekend.

Picked up the truck Wednesday morning, packed for 2 days.  Yes, we packed a moving truck on Thanksgiving (it was also my mom's birthday).  We grilled out hot dogs.  No overeating at my house.

The guys (hub & boy) took the truck for a test drive and discovered one of the brake calipers was bad, called rental place.  They sent out a wrecker, but he couldn't do anything besides tow it away.

Mom and I left at 8 am Friday, while the guys waited to get a new truck and have the contents moved.  They got on the road at 8 pm.  They drove until 4 am, got about 4 hours of sleep, and arrived Saturday at dinner time.

Sunday am we met friends to unload, spent the day unloading.  The truck had to be turned in by 5 pm.  Hub was about a mile and a half from the return center when a 16 year old kid made an illegal turn in front of him and there was no way he could stop.  The kid was wearing his ipod, but not his seatbelt.  Luckily hub was driving slowly cause he was driving a 26 foot truck pulling a 16 foot trailer.  The kid hit his head on the windshield but was conscious when he went to the hospital.

The next day we got up and got on the road around 8 am - we got back here about 10 pm.

We are just ragged worn out.

Things turned out okay.  The dogs are in NC - we can't have them where we are staying.  They are fine at my mom's - they have a huge yard, but we miss them terribly.

This is temporary and we are saving money, but it is still hard.

Home

The past week has been INSANE - crazy busy, some frustrations and stressors, and definitely NOT a traditional Thanksgiving by any stretch.

However, we all got together and we are all safe.  That is what I am thankful for today.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just a quick note before I sign off to wish you a happy holiday.  Be safe & enjoy the company of friends & family!

I'll be back with an update early next week.

And no need to worry about this girl overeating - we are grilling out chicken hot dogs for the holiday! :-)

Strangest Thanksgiving ever

When I was stationed overseas, getting home for Thanksgiving wasn't a big priority.  I would generally fly home maybe once a year for a long leave, so I would try to arrange it around christmas or something.  My point is I've spent a lot of Thanksgivings not doing the whole "big meal with family."

However, ever since I got out of the military, we've always had a big meal with family, generally with me cooking most of it.  This year is different since we are going to be here, but driving up to NC the next day.  Also, my mom's birthday is the same day, so by family rule she gets to pick the meal!

Anyway, our plan is to grill out (which my mom loves to do).  Minimizes work and leftovers - important since we are leaving the next day.

I am feeling overwhelmed with everything going on right now. I feel like such a wuss, I hate it.

But I'm still here!

Take care.

Hello

Good morning.

My mouth is on the med, although I now have a bunch of fever blisters (always happens when I have a bunch of dental work - ugh).  Gross, but at least the inside is improving!

Anyway, just working and that's about it.  I have dinner in the crock pot (again) - tonight is lima bean soup.  That's about all I'm good for this week.

Be well.

Good morning

Good morning!

Sorry for not posting - it's been a crazy few days!

Let's see:  Thursday our son's friend and pregnant girlfriend moved in.  Friday our friends arrived from California.  Friday afternoon I took them to Everglads Nat'l Park, where we saw lots of birds, turtles, fish, and a half dozen alligators.  My friend Eilis has never been to Florida except Orlando, so she was very excited.  And Mike (her boyfriend) grew up here, so it was a great chance for him to show her where he grew up.

After work we met my husband and the 4 of us headed down to the Keys.  Even though we were only there for Friday night and Saturday, we had a great time!  Saturday night saw us eating dinner at the diner here in town.  Eilis asked if she could do a load of laundry.  Of course I said yes, but apparently the dryer went to its great reward sometime while we were out of town.  UGH!

Hub had to work Sunday, and I frantically tried to get shopping and housework done in prep for my oral surgery Monday.  No rest for the wicked.

I had my surgery - the temporary crowns didn't fit, I was in the dental chair for over 6 hours, and ended up having an allergic reaction to medication.  It seems to be not to any one medicine as much as the sheer volume in my system - i had somethng like 14 shots of Novicane over the course of nearly 7 hours, plus penicillin, plus vicodin. 

I worked at home a half day yesterday and I need to work at home today - the temporary piece she crafted is rubbing the inside of my lip raw so I have to get it adjusted.

Hub had a chance to work this weekend and even though we need the $$, at this point we need the time more.  We are nowhere near packed up and I am getting really strresed about that.  Thank goodness my mom and son are arriving Saturday night to help.  My mom can supervise once I tell her what I want done since I have to go into the office next week Monday-Wednesday.

As far as the 2 kids we have with us, I dunno exactly what is going to happen.  The girl's family is Catholic and won't let her come home unless she cuts off all contact with the boy (she's 21).  The boy is 17 and has no family that will take him in.  They want to go to NC, and I think his grandparents are going to give them some money, but what then?  My son lives on a fixer upper houseboat with 1 bathroom!  How long can that last?

I don't know.  We are doing what we can to be supportive - god knows this kid hasn't gotten many breaks in life.  His whole family are varying shades of crazy and he can't count on any of them.  Since the 9 year old hasn't been in school someone (probably at the school) has called child protective services.  But since they are basically squatting in a foreclosed house, I doubt the school even has an up to date address.  Since they keep spending rent money on drugs, they keep moving around.  Lord, how depressing for those poor kids.

Anyway, given that we are renting out our house NEXT WEEK, there is only so much we can do.  It's going to be a long couple of weeks.....

Take care and I will try to do the same!  Vegetable soup for dinner - its in the crockpot.  I'm eating pretty good! :-)

Welcome to our crazy

So, I think I mentioned our son's friend N last year.  They met in school shortly after we moved here.  N had just moved from Sarasota, so they were both new and became friends.  We had N's parents over to dinner and our feeling was "she's nice enough - he's 'crack smoking sheba monkey' level crazy."  As in, totally nutso.

To sum up: dad was on drugs, they used to kick N out on a regular basis, and the child would come over to our house (occasionally banged up, no shoes, etc.).  He has a sister who is now 9.  Last year they kicked him out a few days before Christmas, then called the police claiming he'd run away.  Nothing says the holidays like having cops show up at your house, right?

Since then, they've had him locked up for psychiatric eval twice and a boatload of other crazy stuff.  N has called child protective services, as have the police and a teacher.  Both parents are now on drugs (they've moved on from pot to cocaine)  and yet both children are still there.

Last night N showed up at our house.  He's been living with his parents for a month or so (he drifts between family members, all of whom are nuts).  He left because his parents woke him up at 3 am, wanting him to go buy them more cocaine.  The little girl didn't go to school because no one woke her up and helped her get ready - the parents were asleep from being up all night doing drugs.

It's just crazy and sad.  They've been kicked out/left in the middle of the night owing money on multiple apartments.  I don't think the dad is bothering to work any more and it sounds like the mom is heading the same way.  And yet no grandparent (both sets live here) will step up and take her - they just leave her in the hell.  So how can I be angry at the state for failing her when her own family is doing no better?

N is 17 - his mom withdrew him from school and in Florida kids have no rights so he can't enroll himself or even try to get his GED until he's 18.  So he's just drifting until he turns 18 in February.  He's old enough that we've been able to help him somewhat - the parents can't very well accuse us of kidnapping a 17 year old.

The dad tried calling the police last night, but by now they all know the deal with the parents so they pretty much laughed.  N's plan is to get his car fixed (our son is going to fix it for him) and then go to Sarasota to live with an aunt.

So, I guess he and his girlfriend (who is from Sarasota and is going back home when the car is fixed) will be at our place for the next week or so.

You know, my life sometimes feels stressful or crazy or uncertain.  But there are a few things I know: I am a decent person and I try to do the right things.  My mom, son, husband, and friends are the same way.  If my 9 year old grandchild were in imminent danger, I wouldn't move to Guatemala to avoid dealing with her parents. (Yes, that's what the mom's parents are doing.  And the dad's parents are moving to Puerto Rico.)  Like I said, crazy on both sides.

I may not have a lot of money or stuff, but I will always share what I do have with others in need.

Have a good weekend.

Love Hate Relationship

I am havig a love hate relationship with my new schedule.

Pros:

Dude, I am getting so much done around the house in the morning!

Being able to fix (and eat) a leisurely brekfast, as opposed to packing it in my lunch box and eating it at my desk.

Taking a nice morning walk around the neighborhood in the daylight.

Cons:

I get home from work so late and then have to get a meal on the table.  I literally walk in the door and barely have time to change before I am cooking.

I feel like I don't have much of an evening.

My energy is gone by the time I get home which makes cooking dinner hard.  Last night I cracked and we had take-out.


Once we are past this packing up, I think I will try option c: something in between.  I have been getting up at the same time: 5:30.  I used to leave for work by 6:30, now I am leaving at 8:30.  I think I might try the middle ground of leaving the house at 7:30.  That would give me time to walk and eat breakfast and do a chore or two if needed, but I would have a half hour or so after I got home to relax before I needed to fix supper.  We'll see.

My oral surgery has been re-scheduled to next Monday.  I would have preferred NOT to have it on  Monday - if I have stitches I am going to be one sore, unhappy puppy.  Ugh.  Oh well, when 2 doctors have to coordinate their schedules it can be tough. 

Not much else is new.  I have been good about doing my morning walk outside and I really think it is helping with my stress levels.  And honestly, just knowing that things are nearly done and are changing is helping I think.  Also, my mom and son are coming down 3 days earlier, which means more help with the final push to get things packed up.  So that'll be a huge help!

Have a good day!