3 steps forward, 1 step back

I haven’t written the post yet, but I recently made the decision to work on some of the root causes for why I use food to stuff down my emotions. That work has paid off, and I’ve been doing much better lately with my food.

Last night I took a step in the wrong direction. I called hubby on the way home, and he told me he was going to be out of town an extra day. Meaning he wasn’t home for our anniversary. Then I got home. The directions on my crockpot recipe said “cook on low 8 hours.” I came home to a burned, mushy mess. I threw dinner in the trash can, took the trash out, and sprayed Lysol all around my kitchen in an effort to kill the stench. (Not my best culinary week to say the least!).

So the boy & I went out. He chose Brick Oven Pizza (a local place). How many calories are in a pizza? I didn’t say “in pizza” – I said “in A pizza.” I ate an entire small anchovy pizza – light cheese, extra sauce. Okay, I did leave the crust edges. I knew what I was doing, but at that moment, I just really deep down didn’t give a flip.

The good news is I didn’t go home and wash it down with ice cream or anything – I did have an O’Douls later, but that was it. But it is scary how doing that has led me to crave junk. I really would love to just jettison my eating plan and go to the “dark side” foodwise. I know it’s the excess crap in my system, and if I hang in there today I’ll feel better. I also know that by tomorrow the water bloat should be gone and I can still have a good weigh-in. Keeping my all my goals in sight (weight, exercise, & eating), this incident will just be a small blip in the road unless I allow it to derail my plan. Which I will not do. I packed all my usual food, so its back to business as usual today. I have a healthy dinner planned – salmon wraps, no cooking involved. (Thank God! This week I could probably ruin boiled water for some reason.)

I had a really funny dream last night. I dreamt I was building custom storage for this biking fanatic – he wanted all his music stored in the room where he had his indoor bike set up (for winter training). The funny thing was he was playing the Giro theme song full blast while I was working. I think I’ve gone to that Italian news link Jank posted one too many times! (I love that song!) Obviously, I literally can’t get it out of my head – even when I sleep!

Today will be better. It has to be!