Let that mess go

Do you have anyone in your life that continues to make poor, destructive choices? When you say "Here's a better way" they respond "You are so right! Thank you!" and then keep right on doing that self destructive crap? Yeah, that's Jan.  A few months ago I offered to help because she wasn't remembering to pay her bills on time, her brain is so fuzzy she can't read a bank statement, and her way of dealing with it was to pay what they were about to cut off.

Since we use the same credit union, we set down and I set up her online banking. Once a month we get together and she brings her bills and we sit and pay them. Once we got everything stabilized, I suggested to her that she set aside a small amount for unexpected/ irregular expenses, divide the rest into weekly increments, and use cash. Naturally she's done none of that so she is careening from problem to problem, and running out (or nearly running out) of money for food & medicine near the end of the month on a regular basis. She continues to use her debit card, making poor choices until she is out of money. I checked to make sure that her bills had cleared and yep, she's racked up about $300 in debit purchases in the past 10 or so days, leaving her less than $200 for the next 3 weeks. I called and told her and her response was "Thanks." Ugh, I need to let that mess go!!

I find it ironic that after being apart for 3.5 years & divorced for 2, I'm still coming here to complain about my now-ex MIL! Lol (And by ironic I mean frustrating and aggravating as all!)

I am about to head across town for what I lovingly refer to as the "Thursday morning butt hurt meeting." Sans boss, who is out for the day. After that I will go to the gym, then come back for lunch. We tried a new recipe "deconstructed egg rolls" - it was a low carb bowl full of egg roll innards without the wrap. The recipe we used needed a few tweaks, but we loved the concept and it will be added to our rotation!

In case you need it too:

Retirement Party

I have a swimsuit I've been wearing for quite some time - it was my go to when I was doing water aerobics. Time and chlorine have not been kind to it. Tonight I gave it a retirement party before I went to the Y - into the trash! Lol The funny thing is that I have another swimsuit (the same suit!) I bought and have been "saving." Why do we "save" stuff? Anyway, the stretched out suit is gone and the new one is now in circulation. :-) I knew it needed to happen, but my mom remarking on how bad it looked when we were at the pool Saturday night kinda pushed me over the edge.

After work I went to the Y and swam for 30 minutes - I had the pool to myself. I had some yummy leftover general tso's for lunch (from the skinnytaste website), I made my beloved spicy shrimp and avocado salad for dinner (also from skinnytaste), and for breakfasts I made meatballs of my own creation.

Do you ever make sausage balls? Are they a southern thing? You take breakfast sausage, grated cheddar, and bisquick and make balls out of it. Those things rock my world. Last night I took those 3 ingredients (carefully portion controlling the bisquick & cheese), added a pound of ground turkey, added extra spices, and made meatballs. I also used turkey sausage so they were lower in fat. The flavor was milder of course, but they definitely had that same flavor. Anyway, a really yummy breakfast that is also car friendly.

I ended up taking Sunday off from exercise and only doing my morning walk Monday, so today is double workout day: elliptical and kettlebells. While it certainly counts as exercise, I don't really count my morning walk as exercise, even though we try to do a somewhat brisk pace.

That's all I've got - have a good day!

Stuff

Let's see.....

I think the conversation made a difference! Guess who seems to be re-motivated and just broke through and crossed a big milestone? Hub is down to the 250s - I am so proud of him! A new 3 year low! Speaking of milestones, I'm a pound away from one myself. :-)

I am working at home today - work has been busy but not crazy. I ran to the grocery at lunch to pick up stuff to make breakfasts for the remainder of the week. I plan to go the the Y and swim when I get off work.

Mom and T headed for her new house this morning, each driving a car loaded full of stuff! T may or may not spend the night depending on how he feels. I have plans to do some organizing and hair washing - party at my place!! Lol

That darn inner voice tried saying that we could get so much more accomplished if we skipped the gym..... Uh, no! Going to the gym is a higher priority than putting some crap away that can live on the table another day. Shut up inner voice.

I hope you have a good day.

Road trip!

I have always loved a good road trip. I got the travel bug on both sides of my family, but ever since I got my first car at 20, I've always loved jumping in and going.

Having said that, 3 weekends in a row of multi-state trips is a bit much! After driving across the entirety of Georgia on I-85 yesterday morning (roughly 180 miles), my butt was sore and I was DONE. T called and asked what we were doing next weekend and I quipped "Nothing involving shoes or a car!"

Nevertheless, it was a really good weekend. Alma was feeling good and went out with us for a nice lunch. We took over a cake at supper and all the residents thoroughly enjoyed it, plus there was enough for everyone to have it again for dessert the next day. We stopped by for a short visit Sunday morning before heading back home. It was her 99th birthday and I am so grateful we could be there with her.

On a sadder note, my grandpuppy Lucky passed away in the night. He was having good and bad days and not eating too well, but still managed to wag his tail and be himself. He was a sweet boy and will be missed.

Have a good week.

A tough conversation

Do you find it easier to have serious conversations in person or over the phone? Maybe I am weird, but I find it easier to have potentially emotionally charged conversations over the phone rather than in person. In person it is far too easy for me to let my emotions get out of hand.

So I called my husband this morning and I told him "It's okay if you aren't in the same place as me." Because even though he has faithfully attended a bi-weekly appointment with me for weight loss support, he actions have not supported his stated readiness to lose weight. And I don't want to resent him because I feel like I'm wasting money paying for him to go. And I want him to know I love him whether he is committed to losing weight or not. But he has a lot going on mentally and emotionally right now, and I don't want to add to that.

Officially I am up 2 pounds from my pre vacation weigh in, and that's okay. My eating is back on track and my exercise is mostly on track (I took this week off from weights). I continue to feel calm and confident.

I hope you have a great weekend!

Catching back up

Good news: I slept much better!
Bad news: My alarm was set for 6:30 instead of 5:30. Whoops! Lol

Oh well, I *DO* feel much more rested. :-)

Yesterday I took a couple of walks and did a half assed elliptical workout at the gym. Half assed is better than no assed, so no complaints there. This morning I took a good walk and am hitting the gym after my 10:30 meeting.

Food was back to normal yesterday. I'm needing to be a bit more "on the fly" than I typically am. We got back at 6 PM Sunday, and I was at work 7:30 Monday morning. No real meal plan or grocery trip has occurred - each day has contained a bit of winging it. Luckily I had some stuff in the freezer and a couple of simple ideas.

This morning I got on the scale - I was up 1.8 pounds from my weigh in prior to vacation. Not bad and I feel 95% back on track - that's a better, quicker post vacation getting back on track than I typically experience and after a night of enough sleep, I'm feeling much less overwhelmed.

Sunday is my great aunt Alma's 99th birthday! The plan for this weekend is to drive halfway to LaGrange Friday night after work, finish driving down Saturday morning, and then head back home Sunday morning. I admit I was getting a bit concerned - my mom doesn't drive after dark and as sleep deprived as I have been, driving later Friday wasn't going to happen. Hopefully another good night of rest and I will be up to making the drive tomorrow.

T has his summer opus concert in the park Sunday which I will miss, but he totally understands. Mom is doing some organizing, prioritizing, and packing today with the intent to head to Wilmington Tuesday to begin the moving in process.  We'll head down in a couple of weeks to take more stuff and help her with some painting. As weird as it sounds, her move has motivated me to take a look around our house and do some painting & reorganizing as well!

Take care.

A self fulfilling prophecy

Ugh - I am so tired! I've slept crappy 4 out of the last 5 nights. I am so tired, I seriously considered stopping on my way in to work at a convenience store for a Red Bull. No bueno.

I have been anxious about getting back into my routine - I typically struggle when I get back from a long vacation. Anxiety + exhaustion = bad choices. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Last night I made some poor choices - some serious post dinner snacking. :-( 

I refuse to let this become a downward spiral - I am not going to let 3 bad hours undo 5 months of work!!

So off to the gym! Take care.

Crazy busy

My ex MIL went home after supper last night (and took her dog). The kids were here for dinner last night and left after breakfast this morning (with their 3 dogs). So we are down to us, my mom, and her 3 dogs. Only 5 dogs! Lol.

We're trying to get things washed & put away, T is getting errands and things done, and we're generally trying to get things put back in order. I really don't feel like going out of town - I'm tired y'all. Ugh.

Back

Hello!

Just a quick note to let you know I am back from vacation. We had a lovely time - now the unpacking, washing, and getting back to normal begins! I saw this on Sean's blog the other day and it really resonated with me, so I had parked it with a reminder to share it when I got back.

"Not once have I sat down with a calendar to try to figure out when I'll arrive at some predetermined number. I haven't even stated a particular goal weight, opting instead for a "healthy weight." Who knows what that will be? It doesn't matter how long it takes or when I'll get there because my focus is on today. My goal is to make it through this day with the integrity of my food plan intact and if it's an exercise day, that too. Today is the day. I'm not obsessing about how much time it will take. It will take however long it takes. If I focus on how long it will take to "arrive," I'm suggesting that my efforts will end at some point. And making my daily practice a big priority in my life each day is something I do not plan on ending, ever." - Sean Andersen

Today I am jumping back into my routine - prepping food, hitting the gym, all the usual stuff!

Take care.

Have a good week!

Leaving for a week of primitive camping right after work. Weight held at 189.6, for a loss of 1.6 pounds this week.

Take care!

More of the same

Weight was the same today, which is good because I did have a beer and half an ounce of pork rinds after dinner last night.  We went over to mom's to load up some stuff, and I got teary - it was probably the last time I will ever be inside my childhood home.

I didn't just grow up in that house from the age of 5 - it's the house I came home to when I left he Army and went to graduate school, it's the home I went to when I left Florida and my husband and I split up - it's always been my "go to" safe place, for as long as I've been alive. I have so many memories. But I know it's not about a place, it's about family. But still, it's bittersweet.

My sweet husband went with my ex MIL to the doctor today (let that statement sink in). She was on about 30 different meds, a lot of which she didn't need (and couldn't afford) and one of which it turns out was downright dangerous! She was on a bp med and her bp runs extremely low. Like, near danger low. They switched her from a PA to an MD, and they went over all her meds. She is coming off 8 right away. I am hoping she will start feeling better.

Anyway, just working on packing - I can't believe we are leaving in 2 days!!

Take care.

Nailed it

I was 189.6 this morning! Woo hoo!! I went back and found that the last time I logged a lower weight was May 31, 2013.  YES!

Oh, and I forgot to mention my great workout Sunday! We went to the Y and I elected to swim. No pushing it, just moving my body through the water for half an hour. It felt so good. I love swimming and I know I need to make more time to do it.

Weight loss seems to be a bit better this week. I think I might have dropped my carbs & calories a bit too much. I had maybe 100 more calories yesterday (1400-ish) and 2 carb servings - a low carb pita with breakfast and a half cup of couscous with lunch. I felt strong for my walk and afternoon trip to the gym. I seem to do better with a couple of servings of complex carbs (grain, bean, or potato), but I try to stay away from simple and/or highly processes carbs.

Anyway, hope you have a good day!

Happy Monday

Last week at work before we head on vacation. I think we are mostly ready, but there are still several small things to organize & do.

The last of the large things were moved out of mom's Saturday morning and she & her dogs are staying with us. The sale of my childhood home is scheduled for Friday. She is scheduled to close on the new house in Wilmington next Tuesday. She asked for several repairs and an extension of the due diligence, so far that seems to be going okay. My son & his gf leave for Canada this Saturday.

I've felt really stressed and we were both a little "snappy" this weekend. Anxiety stinks.

I went for a good 30 minute walk this morning and then a vigorous 20 minute workout on the elliptical. Food was fine over the weekend. I was really hoping to be in the 180s when we left for vacation - well ok, I hoped to be around 182. But the 180s would be a big psychological boost for me. This morning I was 190.6. So close! I know it's not a big deal, but that number is an important milestone in my head.

Take care!

Another slow week

Lost 0.6 pounds this week. I know, keep positive, at least it's going down blah blah blah, but .... this seems to be taking foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrr................................

Home again, and why now?

We are home from our whirlwind trip to the beach. It was a quick one, but I was able to help out, spend time with the boy, his gf, and the grandpuppies. We did get in 1 walk on the beach - it was stormy on & off the whole time we were there.  No fair! I guess I have to go back next month.

I was reading "Runs for Cookies" this morning. She had a follow up guest post from a gal that lost over 100 pounds. She wrote something to SO resonated with me: "...something just "snapped" within me and I desired to get healthy. I'd realized that the "snapped" feeling was that I was finally feeling safe and loved. Not like anything was ever not safe or that I wasn't loved--but that I was finally able to breathe and had the space to work on me."

YES!

In my last marriage, no, I most certainly did not feel safe and loved. I mean, yes, my mom & son love me and I've been safe enough in the sense that as long as my mom is alive, I will always have a safe place to be if my world crashes down and I need it. But to feel safe in my own home and new relationship? That's taken, what, ... a year and a half or so? And it's not that I didn't trust T, it was a matter of adjusting to a new normal, and the residual trauma fading. And then somehow I've realized that while I certainly have moments of anxiety or stress - and my default is to turn to food in those times, those times aren't constantly, every day. I feel safe enough to let go of the food, and the weight.

There are times (like Sunday) when I feel anxious and want to turn to food. There are times (like Tuesday evening) when I don't make the best choice. But I pick myself up and keep going.

It's good to be home.

Take care.

Tired

Arrived about 2 AM. Tired. It's pouring rain. I need a nap.

We're safe, grandpuppies have been loved on. I will see the beach later. :-)

Figure out what's really eating you

We are headed to the beach after T's band practice tonight. I wish we weren't driving so late. I wish I felt like the house was ready for my ex MIL J to come and dog sit. I wish I had done more on my to do list this weekend...

Read what I just wrote and is it any surprise that last night I could've demolished the contents of a convenience store faster than Godzilla trashes Tokyo?? 

My anxiety was high. I had a half ounce of pork rinds, a sugar free fudgesicle, and a sugar free popsicle before I managed to declare the kitchen off limits. 

Let's try this....

I get to go to the beach and visit my son for a couple for days! Because it's summer, T can get everything ready for our trip while I'm at the office today. I didn't have to get everything for our camping trip totally done this weekend - we aren't leaving until the 27th - we are in good shape. No, I didn't go swim, but I exercised 5 days this week! Sometimes more than once! That's pretty impressive!

Using food to comfort myself is a well ingrained habit. Feeling anxiety is hard - especially when you aren't used to it. Saying how you feel can be tough - especially when your spouse wants to either "fix" it or explain why your feelings aren't logical (well no sh&^. Who said feelings were always logical???).

Like everything else - changes do get easier and you do get better at them with time. But no guarantees it's always easy or that you are always perfect.

I'll leave you with this thought:

To get to where you want to get to in life, you have to be present, and health is a big part of that. - Jeezy

My pants don't fit (and other thoughts for Thursday)

Well hello Thursday!

Pants:

When I interviewed for my current job back in April of 2017, I probably weighed around 7 pounds less than my highest weight. I remember going out to buy a larger pair of slacks for the interview. I basically wore 2 pair of slacks for that fall, then lost enough that I had about 4 pair I was able to wear over the winter. Currently at the front of my closed are 7 pair of slacks in this size (when I organized my guest room I found some I didn't know I had), the one larger and 6 of the size I am wearing today. They are all too big. I didn't realize it until I put these on. Since they have the dreaded stretch waist band, they are staying up okay. I have 4 pair (I think) of the same slacks in the next size down - this weekend I will re-organize my closet, move them to the front, and send these to Goodwill. It's a lovely problem to have, and reinforces that yes, I *AM* getting smaller, even if I don't feel the changes are really noticeable in the mirror.

Rewards:

Yesterday I was asked in the comments how I intended to reward myself for hitting the 30 pounds lost mark and I jokingly replied "lose more wight!"  But you know what? That's the truth! The side benefits of the lower number on the scale have become their own reward.

• More energy
• Better sleep
• Able to briskly walk for 30+ minutes without foot or back pain.
• Able to stand for most of the day without my feet hurting.
• Feel more like I control my food v. out of control with my eating.

Sure I could go get a pedicure or new earrings or whatever, but truly those side benefits are more awesome than anything I could purchase. Having said that, that's totally me! And I most certainly have rewarded myself with purchases in the past - hey, sometimes bribery if a terrific way to get yourself down the road!!! So no judgement - whatever gets you going, right? :-)

Rings:

I was at my highest weight when we got married last fall. When we bought my rings (they are antiques) I had them sized. We also ordered silicone bands from Qalo.com (which I love). They are all too big. I rarely wear my nice rings and I know I will need to order new silicone bands soon.

Snacks:

It is so weird to me. In the past, evening/ weekend snacking, going overboard, and other food shenanigans were a continual struggle I was always trying to manage. I'd make deals, factor in treats, look for alternatives, etc. etc. It remained a challenge the whole time I was losing weight - and gaining! It felt like this ongoing battle that had become an unwinnable war. This time? Not so much. What's different? I wish I knew!

I can say that past attempts have felt like a frantic major effort - imagine a bonfire topped with a bunch of kindling and small dry branches. The flames are huge, but short lived. This go around feels more like building a fire with nice oak logs. The flames aren't as high, but the fire is a lot more durable and long lasting.

I'm not saying I'm perfect or never have a slip - I still do! But that are infrequent rather than a regular occurrence. And sometimes a thought will run through my head "I'd sure love a cold beer." I don't try to even argue - I just say "Yes, they do taste good" and leave it. It's like without that attention or internal argument the idea just wanders off rather than taking root. Again, I think it goes back to determination rather than motivation.  This is my life - not a diet I ever plan to "go off" of. Will I eat pasta again? Sure, I very well may. But not weekly even in all likelihood. I'm okay with that. I feel good. This is the way my body seems to like to be treated, and the reward is it is treating me better in return.

Take care.

Another goal crushed

Woo hoo!

Gratitude

Today I am grateful for several things, small and large:

I'm glad my husband has good insurance. Today he went and got his colonoscopy. I'm glad he did it. He is generally proactive about taking care of doctor appointments, which is important.

It's only Tuesday but I'm already back down to last Friday's weight. Lol

I'm glad I have the flexibility to work from home - or in this care, the doctor's waiting room this morning! :-)

I'm thankful I am going on vacation this year nearly 30 pounds lighter, with a husband who is over 20 pounds lighter. I know it will be a lot more enjoyable as a result.

There's loads of other things, but I think you get the idea. Never give up on taking the best care of yourself you can, whatever that means for you. You are worth it!

Take care.

Changes

This Monday I was up 0.6 pounds from the weekend. (That makes it so scientific sounding - it's just that my scale does .2 pound increments.) I ate well and enjoyed what I ate, but I also tried to make (mostly) smart choices. The hotel had a pool, and we used both that and the fitness center. I got intentional exercise 6 out of 7 days last week - 3 kettlebell workouts, 3 elliptical sessions, swimming, and several walks. So go me!

I was reading Sean's posts from when I was out of town and one thing he talked about - and has talked about many times - is the fact that he considers what he eats to be a "food plan" versus "diet". It isn't something he intends to go off of at "the end" - rather it's the way he feeds his particular body for optimal health, with a side effect of weight loss. I love that attitude! And while I can't say that my mindset is quite there yet, something I have noticed about this time around is that I have made some pretty significant changes to how I eat, and have maintained them consistently.

The biggest example is that beer used to pop up regularly - not every day, but 1-2 beers (or glasses of wine) happened more often that not. That is no longer the case. That's a HUGE lifestyle change for me.

Another very significant change has been evening snacking. I used to snack every evening. It was such an ingrained habit that I built my calorie intake around having it, because I didn't think it was anything that I would (or could) ever change. I still have a snack most evenings, but these days it is less than 100 calories - generally around 80. And it isn't an automatic "given" that I will have a snack, it's an intentional choice.

I feel like I am making adjustments that will serve me better in the long run, and that feels good!

Take care.

Almost there

Down 1 pound this week - less than a pound until I hit the 30 pounds gone mark.

Okay, out of town for a couple of days. Take care!

We don't all have the same 24 hours

I was reading an article on MSN about this gal who works full time, is a fitness competitor, and has 3 kids that are preschool age. The title of the article was something like "you can have it all!" The gal shares her schedule, and there were 2 glaring things that got me thinking:

1. She typically goes to bed at 10 and gets up at 4:30. So best case she's getting 6.5 hours of sleep a night. I heard a very interesting interview with a sleep scientist on NPR and she said that people basically fall into 3 categories: those who can function normally on less than 7 hours of sleep, those who need 7-8 but can operate short term without too much issue, and the camp I'm in - those of us who really really need those 7-8 hours and are very irritable and our functioning degrades pretty quickly when we are sleep deprived. She also added that as a general rule, about a third of the population falls into each bucket. It isn't just a matter of "adapting" or "sucking it up" - you need what you need. It would be like telling a type 2 diabetic to "just' self regulate. Pretty ridiculous, right?

2. She added "If you can afford it, get a cleaning person."  Ah, now there's a can of worms. When you can afford to outsource chores, you are literally buying yourself additional leisure time!

So yes, we all have 24 hours. But between our need for sleep and our ability to offload responsibilities that would otherwise fall to us, we can "get back" a fair bit of time other people are forced to spend on things other than exercise/ painting/ learning Chinese/ making gourmet meals.

After days of on point eating, I am back to the weight I was last Friday. I hate the da^% scale.

Take care.

Ground hog week

Ah, the scale is a strange creature with mysterious ways. :-)

Friday night I elected to have cauliflower crust pizza and 2 beers for dinner. I knew the carbs would put me up, even though the calories did not put me over. Sure enough, the scale was up 1.6 pounds the next morning. I expected it and was not surprised.

What does surprise me is that that 1.6 pounds is still here! Okay, maybe salt was a bit high Saturday? Okay, Sunday dinner was a pastrami wrap on low carb wrap - again, high on salt for sure. Yesterday my eating was absolutely on point, with my only carb being 1/3 cup of quinoa at lunch (other than 1 slice of fresh mango and low carb veggies like salad).

So what gives?

The same thing happened last week. I was up over the weekend, due to higher carb/salt rather than calories, and it took several days to drift back down. Honestly I was pretty surprised to see the 2 pounds loss just because it was like Wednesday I think before I lost the weekend water bloat. I don't record the daily vagaries, choosing instead to only record every Friday. But it is a strange pattern.

It has me a bit anxious about this weekend because we are going to be out of town Friday and Saturday, including a banquet dinner (so no choice of what is put before me) Saturday night. Ugh. I am seriously considering packing protein shakes and using those to supplement, and eat ONLY those things I know are absolutely on point. I'd just like a weekend where I don't have to combat the sale swing - even if it isn't an "actual" gain. I'm just finding it frustrating.

No big plans for tomorrow. We filled up our hot tub this weekend, but are keeping the water cool. So other than maybe grilling a burger and hanging out in our "cool tub" - and some sewing - I think it will be a low key day.

Take care!

Friday

Just joking - kinda! I am on fire, and I'm good to keep on burning! :-)

This week was a 2 pound loss. Staying focused and glad to see my weight loss pick back up.  This process is slower than I thought it would be (isn't it always?), but I've continued to head in the right direction!!

Hope you have a good weekend!

Food!

Okay, yesterday's post was a little bit heavy. So, something a little more directly health focused today.

Yesterday's exercise:
20 minutes elliptical
20 minutes kettlebell swings (305 swings with the 18 lb kettlebell).

Yesterday's Food:
B: 1.5 cups coffee with 3 T half and half (I accidentally got fat free by mistake! GAH!)
     4 asian turkey meatballs
S:   2 deviled egg halves
L:  lasagna soup (no noodles, just veg and turkey sausage)
S: half an avocado sorta turned into guacamole and served on a sliced tomato
D: chicken tzatziki bowl
No evening snack because we ate dinner really late.

Today's food is basically the same except last night's dinner is today's lunch, I'm having some mango with lunch, and dinner is leftovers from 2 nights ago (we have a lot of leftovers in the fridge). I made a version of this: sticky chicken (I make mine in the crockpot instead of the oven). We served roasted sweet potato rounds and broccoli with it.

Our dinners have been really good lately - lighter things for summer but not short on flavor. Lots of chicken & seafood, and less beef.

I went for a good walk when I got to the office this morning, then T locked himself out of the house and I had to come back home! I will go to the gym later.

Today I am glad that I have a job where I can come back home, miss a meeting, work from here the rest of the day, and my boss is okay with it.

The blues

I am feeling down. There are a lot of reasons. Yesterday I read a Forbes article: Veterans Sustain Two Serious Defeats From Trump And The House To VA Health Care. It just leaves me so depressed. I mean, I certainly don't have a pension. I've saved for retirement, but we've both been divorced and raised kids, so we're hardly millionaires. Like most folks, we are depending on social security (which we've paid into since we were teenagers!) and medicare - both of which the government seems determined to gut. But the thing with the VA gets me steaming mad because so many in DC are so quick to wrap themselves in the flag and talk patriotism, but when it comes to actually keeping the promises they made to service members? As if. Ugh. OK, enough with current events.

T slept through the night (I think for the second time) with his CPAP last night. So far he doesn't seem to be seeing any improvement. I'm trying to be patient. But all his big plans for the summer seem to be as absent as his current motivation. I'm trying to be supportive, but it's frustrating.

I can't say I feel very motivated right now, but that's ok. My determination remains high, and I continue to push through. Last night I had an evening snack: 1 oz. nuts and a glass of seltzer water. That's typical. I went from maybe drinking a 12 pack of beer over the course of a week to maybe having 1 once a week. Snacks are planned and tracked. Weekends are not an excuse to "fall off the wagon." I don't always feel like doing it, but I keep on. I saw another new (this time around) low today. Last time I had a recorded weight this low? March 20, 2015. Three years, 3 months. That feels really good.

For today's motivation:

Lol. Take care.

Yesterday

Well hello! Yesterday was another 100 miles an hour with my hair on fire kind of day at the office. I totally forgot to post!  I'm fine - 100%, but the event Saturday was very hot & humid so I'm glad I just stayed home. T went and was pretty wiped out Sunday, so we didn't do much Sunday. Mom came down for lunch to give T his birthday gifts, we had chicken hot dogs with home made turkey chili and slaw. I ate one on a bun and one without. Would you believe I was up 2 pounds the next morning!??! I was down that same 2 pounds today, so clearly hot dogs have A LOT of salt!!

Staying the course with my diet. The past couple of days my step count has been low, so I am making a concerted effort to do better on that today.

I hope you have a great day!

Weekend

Today is a very Monday kind of Friday at work - lots of crazy raining down. Weigh in was fine - up 0.2 pounds from yesterday (whatever).

Plan to stay home tomorrow and take it easy - stomach is still a bit dodgy.

Have a good weekend!

Never give up, never surrender!

Any geeks out there catch the "Galaxy Quest" reference in the title? :-)

As you know, I had been a bit frustrated the couple of weigh ins before leaving for vacation. One week I'd lost 0.6 pounds and the second (shortened to 5 days) week was again 0.6. I wasn't sure whether my body was doing a sort of mini plateau, regrouping after losing 20+ pounds, if it was a side effect of adding in weight training (muscle will retain water after workouts), or something else entirely.

Overall I'd say I did fairly well on vacation. Carbs and calories were a bit high, but I didn't go nutso on anything. I had half a piece of birthday cake and we split a piece of key lime pie. I watched carb sides, but enjoyed things I can't get here.

I got on the scale yesterday morning and I was up a pound from before I left (after eating nothing Tuesday and very little yesterday). I was frustrated, but determined to stay the course. Today it's paid off - down 2.6 pounds overnight - down 1.6 pounds from my last "official" Friday weigh in. I'll record tomorrow's weight but overall I am very pleased. Maybe the high calorie days helped shake things up? 

Anyway, I can now proudly say I've lost more than this:

Yep, more than 25 pounds! Woot!!

Take care.

Better, and vacation pictures

I was still feeling pretty rough when I went to bed last night, mainly due to dehydration. I knew I'd end up at the doctor today if I didn't get it turned around. I never threw up, so I did my level best to get myself hydrated. I went to bed with a cup of Gatorade, refilled at midnight with a cup of tea, and refilled again around 2 with more Gatorade. I managed at 2 to get 2 Tylenol down (I had a raging headache).

When I woke up this morning I felt a bit sore and wobbly, but much better. I had a light breakfast and a protein shake mid morning. I have no idea what hit me, but yuck!

Vacation!!

I wanted this to be special, and some was planned out (hotels, Thursday dinner), some time was free and he had options (which is how we ended up in key West), so it was a balance of organized plus a chance to explore and be spontaneous.

Before we left, I gave T envelopes (to be opened over the course of the trip).



Our first stop was Morimaki Japanese Gardens in Delray Beach.



Then it was on to Key Largo (after stopping in Sunrise at Sunrise Pita Grill for some of the best Israeli food ever).



Then we meandered down to Key West.




Ate lunch at a good place I knew.



Sunset at our hotel.



Saturday dinner at a German place I love.



It's across the street from the cemetery where my great grandparents are buried.



Our last night in Fort Lauderdale and we got a free upgrade on our room!







They even sent up birthday cake and wine!!



The sun was going down and I knew we'd have a long day Sunday.



After 13 hours in the car, we arrived home safely. I went to work Monday and then woke up sick as a dog yesterday. UGH.

Now, back to reality!! :-)

Sick :-(

I woke up this morning sick at my stomach, headache, diarrhea. I am working at home, but it's been a rough morning. T had gone for a his CPAP appointment and there wasn't anything here I could eat or drink. Thankfully I found a gatorade in the cupboard and I had some of that until he got home with saltines and ginger ale. I am feeling a bit better. Not sure if it was something I ate or a stomach bug or what.

So today I am thankful that I am able to work from home when I feel well enough to work but sick enough to go into the office.

We are back, our trip was great, and I think T had a memorable birthday. Pictures to follow!

Under contract

After being listed for 2 days, mom house is under contract for more than the list price.

I am a fantastic painter. ;-)

Take care. I'm not taking a computer, so I will check back in after we return.

Still here

Just a quick check-in. Getting ready for our trip. We're sad of course, but it isn't quite so raw.

Take care.

Our world is a bit sadder today

Smoke, the feral cat that took us in, died yesterday.

We made a place for her on the sun porch, but she loved sneaking out and getting to be outside. I don't think she ever truly became used to being a pet, although she loved us I'm sure.

Yesterday she got out and we believe was attacked by a dog. I heard Jordan barking, went out, and found her. It happened so fast, there wasn't time to get her to the emergency vet. She didn't suffer long at least.

Nevertheless, we are both heartbroken.

She was loved, and she will be missed.

Staying the course, even when it's.. weird

This week's scale results have me a bit befuddled. I am down 0.6 pounds. What have I done differently this week? Not much. I haven't eaten differently or more, I have exercised a bit more. I've been a wee bit constipated (TMI I guess).

I was up a pound after the weekend and it took a couple of days to drift off. I dunno. But it's one week, so even though it's the least weight I've lost since the week of Feb. 9, I'm leaning more toward "Odd. I guess it'll course correct." rather than "NOT FAIR!!!"

But still, my organized, planning mind which is always saying "I-10 by 10" like that's my personal mantra is frustrated.

I've walked every morning I've been at work, today is trip 3 to the gym for the elliptical, and tomorrow will be kettlebell workout 3. I continue to eat low carb, with a focus on vegetables. So my plan is to keep doing what's been working. If I see something similar again then I'll look to course correct.

Have a great weekend!

Stay the course

Random observation: When I work from home I get in fewer steps. It's because I have a colleague I walk with regularly, so having that extra accountability ensures it happens!

Today I did well: I ate my planned lunch even though I was invited to go out. And I drove myself to the meeting across town so I could go by the gym on the way back. That's a biggie because I go to that meeting with my boss and not only do I like my boss and the car time is pleasant conversation, but he drives a Porsche Boxster. ;-)

We have our big annual trip to PA for the world's largest medieval battle recreation on the horizon, and you know what that means: time to make & repair costuming. As I have been involved with this hobby for many years and I thoroughly enjoy sewing, I have more costumes than I need, and some things don't fit well for a variety of reasons. So I am beginning to sort through - I will likely sell what I no longer want, and donate the remainder. So more decluttering! I started this past weekend by pulling everything together in one place and organizing it by what it is. Next step try everything on!

While I continue to lose weight steadily, T seems to be in a holding pattern until he is out of school. I don't think that's a good idea, but I am holding my tongue. Also, he picks up the stuff for his sleep study tonight! Yay!! So I am hopeful that will make a difference. Fingers crossed!

We are having an antipasto salad with baked chicken (for extra protein) for dinner tonight. Yum!

Take care.

Free x 2

How I feel about losing weight:

It's not just the head space that gets occupied by wanting to lose weight, it's the feeling that there are things I can't do that I want to, or can't do very well. Like when we camp - our car is pretty far away and it's mostly uphill. I remember how exhausted I was having to walk to the car last year. It sucked. Even though it looks like this week I'm on track to have the smallest loss in several weeks, at least I continue to make progress.

Also, this:

The photographer comes tomorrow at 10 AM to take pictures for the realtor to gets mom's house listed. Today the only thing we have left is to get her back patio cleared off & organized, and to run to the farmer's market and look for some flowers. Then I can start working on my stuff! LOL

Take care!

Just one book

If you could recommend just one book on diet, nutrition, exercise, losing weight, etc. to a friend, do you have one? I mean, a book that's your "go to" for advice on getting healthier?

Long before I had "that book", I had the website. If there were one blog and one book I could recommend to a friend, I have one of each - they're from the same gal: Tracy Reifkind.

Tracy started writing on her blog Living my physical potential back in 2007. She described the diet & exercise combo that helped her lose over 120 pounds. Near the end of 2008 she moved to a new blog Food and thought where she continued to chronicle her food & exercise program through 2015.  After that she didn't really continue blogging (at least publicly), although she still teaches at the gym she & her husband own.

She published her book in 2013, and really it's just a better organized documenting of the food & exercise program she developed and follows.

Tracy really created and perfected the technique of using the kettlebell swing to get an awesome HIIT workout with weight training benefit. Her diet advice is common sense. Her straightforward approach might not appeal to everyone, but she's very matter of fact about what she accomplished and what anyone else can as well. She has also created several training and workout videos also.

I keep coming back to kettlebells as a quick, efficient, convenient way to get my weight training in while getting a terrific cardio workout at the same time. Tracy's recipes inspire me to strive to get more vegetables in my diet.

I hope you have a great day!

Lovely weekend

We went down to my son's at Carolina Beach this weekend. He replaced the window motor on the driver door in my car (hurray!), we went out in Frankie's boat (a family friend), I cooked up a turkey he had in the deep freeze, and we walked on the beach several times - including once with the dogs. I never get tired of walking on the beach.

Ex MIL dog sat and things went better this time. :-)

Today I walked early, did the elliptical at lunch, and took a shorter walk after lunch. It's sunny and 84 - so not as hot as it's been, but still warm. Thankfully we'll be home this weekend, so we have some down time before the big getaway for T's birthday next week.

As soon as we got home, I went to the store and picked up what we needed (we'd planned the meals and made a shopping list before we left), so we were able to eat at home last night. We did eat breakfast out Saturday - so not worth it! So we're back to eating at home until our next trip.

Take care!

What happened to yesterday?

Sorry about skipping yesterday - work was super busy!

I'm doing fine - a loss of 2.2 pounds this week. So I am holding pretty consistent with 2 pounds per week - that's perfectly fine with me. Could I maybe lose a bit more than that per week at my current weight? Maybe. But I am comfortable with my eating - long term I want to continue to strive for a higher vegetable intake, but I'm doing well with balancing my protein (not too much red meat) and limiting my carbs. What I am doing right now feels very doable for the long haul.

I was able to recover from that one bad evening and move on.

Even though it was a holiday week, I got in 2 kettlebell workouts and 2 elliptical workouts, plus several walks. So my exercise is coming along well.

I have 2 out of town trips this month - this weekend to my son's house at Carolina Beach and T's birthday trip to the Florida Keys. My plan is pretty straightforward - eat basically the same thing, limit portions, don't go nuts. Pretty easy this weekend - the Keys will be tougher because I know we are going to 2 restaurants that are special treats - food I can't get up here. My plan is to order a meal, eat half, and save half for lunch the next day. We are taking a cooler, our hotels all have fridge & microwave, and I have tupperware on my packing list, :-) So I've planned and tried to make success easy.

Have a great weekend!

You know what poor planning gets you?

Today is one of those days where your first mistake is getting out of bed, and then it all goes downhill from there!! Lol Ugh!

Last night I came home to a very stressed out husband (it was weird, I don't even know why he was stressed and I don't think he did either). I caved and did some emotional eating (ugh). This morning I forgot my breakfast - I was able to stop and get a pretty decent choice on the way in. Then my lunch plans fell through - I ended up going to the grocery store for a tv dinner. A bit high on carbs but okay on calories.

I did do a good kettlebell workout this morning.

So overall, not a great day. Oh well. It happens. Not quitting, giving up, or going nuts because I made a mistake.

Some days.....

Take care.

A bit of a disappointment

At 23 pounds lost, my husband took another set of pictures of me. I could barely see a difference. I can feel a difference in my clothes (although I am still wearing the same clothes) and the scale is lower, but so far those are the only real changes I am noticing.  It's frustrating to have come what feels like so far, but looks like barely a step one of a thousand mile journey.

Having said that, what can I do but continue the course and know that the difference will become noticeable at some point in the next 23 pounds? Le sigh.

Having worked like house elves over at mom's for 2 days, yesterday we worked like house elves around our house. It's looking much more organized. We also made time to go see "Deadpool 2', which we both really enjoyed.

Take care.

The (former?) food pusher

Home from my mom's, The master bath still needs a second coat of paint - it was too wet to do when we left. So that's for Friday. We are wrapping up the painting, we moved a couple of pieces of furniture exMIL wants over to her place, and emptied out our storage unit. (Yay saving money!). Tomorrow we get to work around our house! :-O

Friday at work was interesting. I have a co-worker who has always been a big food pusher. He organizes the potlucks, decides the themes, etc. He's had some MAJOR health issues and ended up having most of his colon removed, which has radically changed the way he can eat. It was interesting that when we had a big going away thing for our intern on Friday, A only had a small plate which had mostly healthy stuff. Not his usual M.O. OTOH, a week or so ago he brought in store bought muffins and walked them from office to office offering folks one. Thankfully he didn't make an issue of it when I refused.

Friday I had 3 crackers, 5 cheese cubes, and 2 strawberries over the course of the day. I skipped the cake and chips and all that junk. It wasn't too obvious since everyone was grazing. Luckily no one pushes the food too hard, but I'll be interested to see whether A starts back up the monthly potlucks - which usually feature the kind of food normally seen at a 5 year old's birthday party. My plan is usually to pack a healthy salad which I can supplement based on what people bring - and I try to bring a healthy option.

OK, enjoy your weekend!

Two milestones and one broken streak

As I thought I might, I crossed 2 milestones today: I've now lost just over 10% of my body weight - a number doctors say is significant, and I weighed less than 200 pounds for the first time since June of 2015.

That is hard to write. I'm a person who maintained a healthy weight all the way up to pregnancy, gained more than I should have, but turned around and took it off - and kept it off for several years. It wasn't until I started dating my ex husband that I really ballooned up. And yet I lost all but 10 pounds of it - and kept it off for quite some time! But of course work & relationship stress took their toll, and I ended up gaining.... 70 pounds. God that's hard to admit.

Today I've lost just over 22 of that 70, so I still have a long weigh to go. But I am trying hard to address emotional issues and stress without food and use less harmful coping mechanisms.

The streak we broke was that we caved and bought take out from Boston Market. By the time we left mom's from painting we were exhausted and neither of us were up to cooking. Calories and salt were higher than if we'd eaten at home, but we both ate on plan.

Okay, that's all the news that's fit to print.

Take care.

A little more

In October 2001, I started an Excel spreadsheet to track my weight. I weighed every Friday. I still have that same spreadsheet. There are weeks (and months) with no data, but it's a pretty good picture of my weight over the past 17 years (good gravy!). There are times that spreadsheet has left me down - realizing I'd regained a lot of weight.

Today I looked back - I weigh less than I have in over three years and it was 2013 when I went on our annual vacation to Pennsylvania weighing less than I do now. I find that encouraging. Going primitive camping overweight and out of shape is HARD. I am confident this year is going to be so much better than the recent past!

I was down 2.4 pounds this week. I have two significant milestones I may very well hit over the weekend.

T has a sleep study Monday night - he met with a sleep specialist and she is pretty sure he has sleep apnea. He was really nervous about that and didn't want to have to use a C-Pap, but I told him about Sean being able to quit using the machine (as have others we know) once they've lost weight - and the doctor said the same thing. So now instead of discouraged, he is hopeful that he can start getting the rest he needs so much and that better rest will translate to a better performing body, which will translate to more energy and weight loss. Sleep affects SO MANY aspects of our life - it's amazing.

I hope you enjoy your weekend!

Mission Accomplished

Yesterday morning I had a dental appointment. Since the office is near my mom's, I packed up and worked from her home yesterday. I used my lunch break to roll all of her interior doors - and we got them done!

Saturday we have to paint her bedroom and the 2 bathrooms, and a bit more more in the utility room. She needs to finish up the trim - and the painting will be done! Sunday is moving some stuff and beginning to get things prepped for the realtor to take photos. I am thinking the end is nearly in sight for her. Yes, she is selling my childhood home. But overall I am so excited for her to be finally making her dream of living near the beach a reality.

Work is uber busy today, so no lunch time gym today. Food remains good and the scale is moving in the right direction. Like I told my husband last night in the car "I'm not always motivated, but I remain determined."

Why is this time different (mentally)? I wish I could answer for sure. I just know that I feel ready to be done with this. It's been an albatross around my neck too long. I think for me many things have come together which add up to that readiness, but I think it boils down to two main things: 1) I no longer feel the need to use food to escape from the issues of my marriage and job and 2) I have a spouse who supports, rather than undermines, my efforts.

Those are changes that a part of me wishes I'd made years ago. OTOH, maybe I wasn't ready to learn those lessons then. I can't change the past, but I'm thankful I found the courage to make the changes I needed to in order for me to be where I am now.

Have a good day.

Weight is weird

Saturday I saw a new low. That evening I had a larger than normal snack (but nothing remotely like a binge - I'm talking 500 calories). I was up 0.6 pounds the next morning and didn't think too much of it - hey I ate a large, salty snack. No worries. Except it hung around - it even picked up 0.2 pounds .. even though I was eating on plan. This morning half that 0.8 was gone - leaving me still up 0.4 over Saturday even though my eating this week has been really good.

Sometimes the vagaries of the scale are a mystery to me.

In any case, I continue to eat on plan, knowing that I will see the results. My morning snack has been 12 raw, unsalted almonds. I'm getting tired of them, so I plan to change that up next week. My afternoon snack has been a string cheese. Lunches have been dinner leftovers. Today's was wonton meatballs (from the author of the Nom Nom Paleo website) and stir fry veg. Tonight's dinner is Mediterranean chicken and sauteed green beans courtesy of the crock pot.

The month of no dining out continues to go well, but my husband is tired of dirty dishes. As am I. :-) But I am certainly seeing the payoff on the scale.

Take care!

Reflections

Today was my 12th and final class of my 16 week "Move It!" class at the VA. (Class is 3 weeks on, 1 week off). I've lost just over 20 pounds, starting slowly and picking up speed. Looking back over the time, I've spent some time this morning trying to pinpoint what has changed and how I can continue to be successful.

• I don't feel like "I've got this." I hope I never feel that way. I've learned I can maintain a healthy weight and active lifestyle for years, and still regain all the weight and more. I will need to be vigilant always. In some ways that sounds a tad depressing, but it also means always searching for new things and new ways to challenge myself - which doesn't sound depressing.

• I have finally been able to change my evening snacking habit. I have tried various strategies over the years, but I have always felt like I "deserved" something special in the evening. 

• I've tried to stop using food as a reward.
• I've noticed the correlation between the snack and the scale results, and I don't like it.
• I'm trying to pay attention to my "belly hunger" cues, and differentiating between belly hunger and head hunger. Allowing myself to be physically hungry is new to me.
• I'm okay with my snacking level for now, but if I feel I want to cut back more, I will use the "extinguish" behavioral change method.
• My spouse doesn't try to sabotage my weight loss efforts.

• I'm going to the gym regularly.

• I'm walking more at work.

• We are eating out less.

I will miss the class, but not the chunk of time out of my day or the drive - especially with gas prices going up!

Take care!

Milestone

This weekend I crossed over 20 pounds lost. I am still wearing the same clothes, but they are fitting MUCH better - even a little loose. And I am wearing a few more tops I hadn't been able to wear in a while.

Painting went well, T's concert went well, and we finally went to see the new Avengers movie. So it was a busy but good weekend!

No news on the Lucky front - I'm not sure if they are going to have a biopsy done to better know what type of cancer and how long he might have, or just make him comfortable.

Take care.

What an end to the week

My son's girlfriend's dog has cancer. :-( It's extra sad because he was her granddad's dog, so it's like losing a part of him all over again. And he reminds me & mom of my (deceased) uncle's dog Jojo (Both Jojo and my uncle Jerry are gone - Jerry passed away far too young). And Lucky is a great little dog.

I went to the gym yesterday but this morning it is POURING. Yuck.

I'm down 2 pounds this week.

Feeling down, so that's it for today.

Take care.

Weather and plans

It looks like the rain has settled in for next several days. :-( It was pouring at lunch, so I opted to postpone the gym until tomorrow. We did get a break in the weather and my colleague and I went out for a quick walk.

Our road trip this past weekend has given me some much needed confidence in the "travel and stay on my diet plan" goal. T and I have a fair bit of travel planned in the upcoming months:

• A weekend getaway to Carolina Beach to visit my son
• A surprise long weekend birthday adventure for T's 50th. He doesn't know it but we're going to the Keys for snorkeling and other adventures!
• A trip up to the mountains (Boone) for his band camp reunion.
• Our big annual trip up to PA for Pennsic. 

All of these things will need to be accomplished to maximize fun but stay within budget and dietary constraints. After this past weekend, I think I have come up with a formula for success.

Strategies include:

• We are staying in Hilton properties (when in a hotel). They have a free breakfast which is good (but not amazing) and has plenty of protein options.
• Cooking (at my son's, while camping) our own food.
• Packing a cooler/ lunchbox.
• In general, keeping the dining out to a minimum. And when we do (like a trip to Sunrise Pita Grill), it will be planned and enjoyed!
• And of course - staying active!

I'm still on a "high" from our class yesterday. Overall, I am feeling like this is something I can navigate and that I can successfully lose weight. For the first time in a LONG time, I believe I can control my weight. That feels terrific.

Have a great day!

Really good class today!

So, today was #11 (of 12) of my MoveIt! classes at the VA. There are 3 types of classes (so 4 each): physical activity, nutrition, psychology of weight gain & loss. Today was led by a behavioral psychologist and was "Cues and Triggers".

He discussed the importance of identifying what foods, situations, etc. are behavioral cues for you to overeat and ways to overcome them. Some are easy: if you can't stop with the Pringles, don't bring them in the house. Duh, right? But then he talked about the "extinction" method of changing bad habits. An example would be eating on the sofa. If you eat meals at the table but snack on the sofa, then when you have that urge you could: stop, drink a glass of water. Do a check- are you head or stomach hungry? If you are genuinely hungry, pause your show (or wait until it's over) and then get a healthy snack, but eat it at the table and NOT the sofa. I'd never thought of it that way!

I've been doing better by choosing better snacks, but the reality is that the act of sitting on the sofa is a trigger! Why settle of reducing the snack when I can eliminate the habit unless I'm truly hungry? It was a real light bulb moment for me!

Anyway, this guy was probably the best speaker we've had - he did a terrific job! That's one cool thing - these training/discussions are led by experts.  Anyway, it's been a busy but good day so far. I went to class, went home and waited for the cable guy to come & figure out why the internet keeps crapping out, then came over to mom's so she could run some errands in my car (hers is in the shop).

Last night the internet was down AND the cable kept dropping channels - I've been hating on Spectrum for a while - we'll see if replacing hardware today fixes the issues.

Take care!

Busy weekend

Welcome back to the work week! Lol

I hope you had a nice weekend. Mine was fine - mom and I drove down to Georgia to visit my great aunt. This time she was feeling pretty good and felt like going out to lunch with us. We went to the country buffet she really likes and she thoroughly enjoyed her food and ate every bite! Her energy isn't really good any more, so after that we took her back to the assisted living place to rest, but we keep popping back in for visits throughout the weekend.

We hit multiple stores to pick up several items she needed (shampoo, soap, lotion, etc.) and to look for some comfortable footie socks for her to wear around - she has a problem now with her feet swelling, so finding something comfortable can be tough.

I bought myself a makeup mirror and mom bought a summer purse - our Mother's day gifts to ourselves I guess! :-)

My plan of taking food to supplement and pairing that with good choices paid off - despite being on the road all weekend, I was down 0.8 pounds this morning from Friday, that feels like a huge victory.

I got my mom a really cool gift:

It's a guided journal that you use to record stuff about your life! T liked the idea so much he had me order one for him to give to his mom as well (which she loved). I wish I'd had these to give to my grandmothers.

Mother's Day was .. okay. I didn't get to see my son and we spent the day in the car headed back home. By the time I got home I was tired and grubby and a little sad. It's hard to see someone you love when their body continues after their spirit is done. But she still has moments of pleasure and joy - although they are few and far between. We do what we can.

In any case, it was a fine day and a fine weekend, and as always, I am so glad we went.

I hope you have a terrific week. Take care!

Determination, not motivation

Good morning and happy Friday!

First of all, thanks Laura and Nixie for the comments. No matter the age, you always want the best for your kids!!

I'm down 2 pounds this week. I had an evening where I really oversnacked (Sunday or Monday) and I bounced up 0.6 pounds, but overall still a decent loss.

I'm leaving straight from work to mom's to pick her up, then we are headed to Georgia to visit with my great aunt for the weekend. I made some chicken salad and packed that, some wraps, apples, tomatoes, and some raw almonds so hopefully I can use that to fill out good choices and won't see a gain from the dining out. And a couple of protein shakes. When I'm trying to lose weight, travel can create a lot of anxiety with food for me, so I'd rather be over prepared.

I am not always motivated, but I remain determined to make the the LAST time I lose a significant amount of weight. Third time's a charm! Lol

I hope you have a great Mother's Day weekend!

Deep thoughts

I'm fine. T seems committed to losing weight, so I am glad. We're doing fine. I'm feeling bummed today - my son had a big fight with his girlfriend and I know how much that sucks. I feel badly for him. I just love him and want him to be happy. Relationships are hard, I think things do get easier with age though. He's heading into his final year of college, so he's an adult but not completely independent, but I think she expects him to be, which isn't really fair because she wasn't when she was in college. Whatever.

Anyway, blah.

Here's a picture in case you need any encouragement today.

Take care.

The first step is the hardest

I find that getting started is always the hardest part of anything, and I can be an expert procrastinator! I have a presentation due at the end of the day, and I can't get a handle on how to start! Ugh! When I get this way, I find the easiest thing is to just jump in somewhere, swim around, and then the task will begin to flow.

I decided I was determined to lose weight this time, even if I wasn't always motivated! Instead of doing everything perfectly, I decided to focus on the one most important thing: my food. The gym is still hit or miss, but I'm doing a good job of getting in my steps and sticking to the food plan. Making the decision to not dine out this month has made for some meals that were scrounging in the fridge, but were healthier (and cheaper!) than anything I would have gotten in a restaurant.

One thing I didn't consider was our trip to Georgia to see my great aunt. We will be eating on the road. My plan is to make the smartest choices I can and call it good. I'll keep you posted.

Okay, I better get back to work! Take care!

Tuesday

So my son (who is a mechanic) thinks it may be the computer on mom's car - which is pricey. :-( They haven't called her to tell her anything yet. Luckily she was able to borrow a car from a friend. Fingers crossed!

I had a class at the VA this morning - "Finesse your Food". We talked about building a healthy plate and snacking. It was pretty good. Only 2 more classes! I have enjoyed doing this, but I'm looking forward to moving on as well.

My project at home is finishing the curtains for our bedroom. This has been on the back burner forever! Yesterday I hemmed a pair of pants to take to my great aunt when we go to Georgia this weekend, and since I had the sewing stuff out I decided to tackle the thing I wanted done the most! Behind this I have a couple of minor mending projects, and then I can start on some medieval costume projects for this summer. This is going to take some time - there are curtains (like where the sheers would be) and then there are decorative curtains that flank the window, but don't cover it completely. One window is now totally done. The other one I need to hem the flanking curtains and finish making the regular ones. It felt good to make progress on that.

Take care!

Monday not so funday

No sooner than my mom got her car back from having a new starter put in at her regular place, than she ran an errand and not only would it not start, but the horn wouldn't stop going off! So it looks like they did a repair she didn't need and they told her she needed to take it to the dealer. :-( I picked her up - how frustrating!!

What else? Painting went fine this weekend - faster than I thought it would but also oh so much harder!! We were bone tired Saturday night and came hoe and took a nap Sunday!  But we got the 2 bedrooms and hallway done that I was hoping, so at least we're on track.

I hope you have a terrific week!

Another milestone

Today I hit 15 pounds gone.My clothes feel better, I feel less bloated, but honestly I can't tell a huge difference yet. In 5 more pounds I am going to have T take another set of photos - maybe I can see the difference in the photos even if I can't see it in the mirror.

Last night I helped my ex MIL get her bills all set up online and paid for the month. Except cable - she is going to call them today and see if they will negotiate if she threatens to cancel. Mom and T went and bought paint.  Tomorrow we are headed to her place to get started. Wish us luck!

I don't have too much to say. I can't see the changes yet (although I definitely feel better), so I am using the scale. I wish I'd taken measurements. Maybe we will do that this weekend.

I hope your weekend is a good one!

Change of plans

T told me he wanted to take a break from the gym. In addition to cutting his carbs, he has virtually eliminated sodas and caffeine. He's tired and feeling sluggish - add to that the hectic schedule with painting my mom's house this month and we agreed it was better to wait and start lifting weights next month.

Having said that, I am ready! So I plan to set up a dumbbell routine for myself to use until he is ready. That way I will still be lifting weights, but I need a spotter for the barbell routine. I will most likely start doing a short weight training routine prior to cardio when I go at lunchtime Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Last night I was feeling very restless. I think part of it is that we are watching "Lawrence of Arabia" - it's one of T's favorite movies and I've never seen it, so we rented it from Netflix. It's not bad, but it won't be a favorite and it's not really drawing me in. I wanted to eat (although I wasn't hungry). I limited myself to half an ounce of pork rinds. It's funny - when I was a kid we thought of those as a kind of "trashy", unhealthy snack!! Now they are commonly listed on low carb diets as a replacement for chips! LOL. Times have changed!

Anyway, things are going fine.

Take care.

Better

Yesterday went better. Breakfast worked fine, we ate our lunch and snacks (T actually brought home his Babybel cheeses), followed the diet, and ended the day by each having a half a gin and (diet) tonic! Lol. Yes, one shot of gin or vodka or one ultra light beer is permitted.

At lunch I went with my MIL to set her up for online banking, so I can help her pay her bills. She's been paying them by the "what are they threatening to turn off this month?" method. No bueno. So we got that taken care of.

We did round 1 of Lowe's with my mom, but are going back tomorrow. Tonight and Friday are weight training in the evening and cardio at lunch. We both have been pretty sore - we've made some significant increases on the weights we are lifting, so we are adding a few minutes in the hot tub, sauna, or steam room onto the end of our weight workout.

The teacher T works with is retiring at the end of the year - it was a surprise. So he's not sure if he wants to stay on there or look for another position somewhere else. Oh, and his job for the summer may have fallen through. :-(  Life!

In any case, things are going pretty well in our little corner of the world.

Take care.

Lessons learned

Here's a good one for today:

So yesterday.....  First off, on the list of foods (and let me tell you, this isn't the easiest to understand format she has) there is a category that says "extras (You may choose one of these foods with 2 meals).  That category contains the complex carbs (black beans, brown rice, whole grain wrap). Okay, this is a low carb diet - makes sense! And this isn't wacky or outrageous or anything.

So for breakfast T has a protein shake with yogurt and some fruit. not bad. I had a yogurt bowl with a VERY little bit of fruit (my frozen fruit was freezer burned and full of ice - yuck!). His breakfast was a little small but OK, mine was small. Then I only packed him 1 protein snack instead of 2. The upshot was we were both pretty miserable all day and hangry by dinner.  He stopped for a rotisserie chicken - we were so tired that's all we ate. So day 1 wasn't exactly a success.

Today I followed the guidelines of 2 protein servings (which meant 2 eggs, 1 slice of bacon, 1 ounce of cheese) in a low carb whole grain wrap. I'm working at home today, but I made sure to  pack a good lunch and 2 protein snacks plus a fruit in T's lunchbox.

Today is a rest day from the gym because we are going to mom's to help her buy the painting supplies for painting her house, so hopefully today will be a better day. We're still figuring this thing out, I figure we'll get into a groove and it'll be a lot easier.

Have a great day!