Just Plugging Along

Watching TV last night, I was hit with a total overwhelming desire for fried shrimp. Damn commercials! But it passed, and if I still want them, there’s always that free meal this weekend.

Stuck to plan, went to the gym. It was a fairly mediocre workout – I cannot do enough weight with dumbbells to work my legs much when I squat. The weight bothers my shoulders before it gets hard for my legs. Back to the bar for that one. Other than that, okay.

Food was on track. I made ‘hamburgerless helper” for dinner. Sauteed bell peppers, diced tomato, black beans, and veggie crumbles took the place of the hamburger. Not exactly homemade, but quick & decent.

That little excel spreadsheet is da bomb. Who would have thought a grown woman would get so excited about checking off the fact that she brushed her teeth!

So, I go back tomorrow for what I presume will be my last visit with Bob the priest. Last time I spoke with him, I came in with notes. I had a pretty clear vision of what I wanted to write my dad, what I expected his potential reactions to be, and how I would deal with them. And have done nothing since. Like, I need to sit down and actually write something. But I am procrastinating. No action can be so much more comfortable than doing something. I need to fish or cut bait on this one. I don’t want to – bitch, moan, whine.

Songs I love:
I believe in you by Kylie Minogue – LOVE IT!!!!
One Word by Kelly Osbourne (I can’t believe I am admitting that!)
Holloback Girl by Gwen Stefani (I know I’m old, but does anyone know what this song is about???)
Omnibus by Laut Sprecher - Better than Darude’s Sandstorm. Makes you want to ride your bike up a mountain – in the Alps!
How did you know? by Mynt

I'm in the mood ... for Pennsic!!!

I didn’t know weekday evenings could be like that!

What a concept – a relaxing evening during the week! I was very proud of hubby – he went to the gym with me!! That makes me happy. He had a good workout. While he did a total body workout, I did chest & back. He wasn’t finished yet, so I did 20 minutes on the recumbent bike while I waited – bonus cardio!

To keep up with my good habits, I made myself a little excel spreadsheet (I read in someone’s blog that they had done this and I thought it might help me too). I have 5 habits a day I want to keep up with: morning walk/run, lunch walk, gym, floss teeth in evening, and wash face in evening. I am tracking Monday – Saturday, and my goal is 25 boxes checked off per week. I will not expect perfection every day. I am trying to get away from that “all or nothing” mentality – it’s so self-defeating. Yes, I will give myself a reward if I meet my goal. :-)

Anyway, we hit the gym, then went home & I heated up some homemade soup & made baked tomatoes. We a nice dinner and then I took a nice bath while hub did dishes. Then we watched a movie! Unbelievable!

I got up this morning and did a great 2 mile run. It never ceases to amaze me how much better I feel when I eat healthy foods & exercise my bod. You think that awesome feeling would be incentive to do that on a regular basis, huh?

I must test blogger's new picture thingie - here I am last year at a friend's scottish wedding.

Uninspired or uninspiring?

Hmmm. So, I realize Stella’s groove left for Jamaica without her (or me, actually). This blog has been kinda blah lately. Judging by the lack of comments, I guess I’m not the only one to think that!

Hubby & I talked yesterday – we’ve agreed to make the house a “beer free” zone. It will be easier for me, and he is saying he wants to lose the weight he’s regained. He hasn’t been exercising since he’s been working out of town. His shorts don’t fit – big wake-up call for him! He walked after I got back from running yesterday. He may go to the gym with me tonight. Yay! That makes me glad. He needs to lose weight (he has high blood pressure), but I don’t want to push him and turn him off. It’s tough – I want to encourage him but he hasn’t seemed ready. Maybe that will begin to change now that he is home.

My “cheat meal” contained cheese dip. It is no longer my friend. I feel too lousy the next day for it to be worth it to eat. Oh cheese dip, how you have betrayed me! Forced to eat healthy food – drat! :-)

Thought of the Day


As long as we allow ourselves the opportunity for self-loathing we will never fill our voids. Why should we, we are not worthy; when we beat ourselves up on a daily basis for the little things in life; we can't even think about our purpose for living! We have brainwashed ourselves into believing that this is all there is, so why want more passion or joy!

Money Causes Christmas, and Catching Up on Me

People get easily confused by all the seemingly endless and contradictory studies. It’s no wonder we all want to throw up our hands and eat a twinkie. Here is my favorite statistical story:

Every year at the beginning of the fourth quarter, the government releases additional paper cash into the economy. Every December, Christmas happens. Therefore, money causes Christmas, right? You might not have known that little nugget about the release of currency, but I bet you quickly figured out that the gov’t does it in order to facilitate Christmas shopping.

People frequently confuse correlation and causation – but just because two events occur together, doesn’t not mean that A causes B. B might cause A, or even C – who got left out of the study. Statistics are very useful (thus sayeth the statistician) but if you torture them enough, they say whatever you please. That’s why I take all the studies with a huge grain of salt. People tend to use them to back up whatever they believe.

Weight gained on vacation: 2.5 pounds. Not too shabby!

My exhaustion level: Beginning to subside. By next week I should be normal.

My stress level: Work is insane, but it will end in a couple of days. Hub seems happy with the new job, which makes me happy.

Music makes me happy. I like a lot of stuff, but this is what I am listening to at work these days: http://www.energy927fm.com/ Good stuff!

The boy’s belt test went great last night. Tonight is the awards ceremony and pizza party. I’ve bought everything but the ice, collected the $$, and just need to order the pizza at lunchtime today. Then he’s off for the summer!! Woo hoo! Freedom for mommy!!!!

Morning Musing of a Recovering Lazy-A$$, and other Stuff

One of the more difficult parts of being a recoving lazy-thing is finding balance. For example, I can never know with confidence whether I am doing “enough” exercise. What is enough? This week I am trying to silence the inner voice that wants to beat me up for not running in the mornings. I am getting in my gym time, and my lunch walks, but a) it’s a hectic week and b) I’m tired still from traveling. Why is it so hard to just say “This week is less than I’d like, but enough that I won’t wither away.”?

So, my husband started a new job today. Sometimes you’ve got to release your problems to the universe. The poor man was at his breaking point, and the possibility a friend mentioned panned out. Please don’t feel any sympathy for his former boss. Here was the schedule he laid on hubby this week: Monday Fayetteville (3 hours east of home), Tuesday Marion (2.5 hours west of home) then drive back to pick up the helper & the tools boss asked him to leave with helper (naturally he needed those tools in Marion yesterday). Wednesday & Thursday were Spartanburg SC (3 hours south of home), then Friday in Sanford (1.5 hours east of home). In a work van with a gas allowance of $125. Why? Because hubby was the ONLY lead carpenter he had left and the boss didn’t want to leave home. Be careful who you treat like sh-- , they might leave you holding that bag of sh--. He quit at 1:30, and got home at 9:30 after all the driving around to get the tools he’d been asked to leave. Never mind when he had all those tools already stolen from that job site not only did the boss not have insurance to cover it, but he didn’t help with the replacement. Ug!

The new job is local. Hurray!!! I hope it goes well. And I am so glad he’ll be at the boy’s tae kwon do test tonight.

Ran errands last night – semper gumby, right? Gym after work, then home for lentil soup & back to the gym for the boy’s belt test.

When do you feel like a grown-up?

I feel so silly sometimes. I mean, how hard is it to remember to floss and wash your face at night? But by bedtime I am so tired that I confess I don’t always remember. Too bad my mom can’t come over & remind me! Anyway, as part of my plan to take better care of myself, these are two habits I plan to work harder at remembering. I even have a sign posted on my bathroom mirror!

In addition to reading “Body for Life for Women” while I was on vacation, I re-read “Body for Life” last night. A friend had asked to borrow it, and I wanted to go back over it again before I loaned it out. One thing that was nice to see is that my eating is already very much in line with the plan outlined in the books. (When I eat on plan!) One confusing thing: Bill calls yogurt a carb, while Pamela calls it a protein. I have been counting it as a protein – my breakfast these days is yogurt & raw oats. Should I be adding protein powder to that to boost the protein? Thoughts? Advice????

The “Body Sculpting Bible” workout is very similar to Bill’s weight training plan. I think intensity is the key in any weight lifting regime – you can get good results with any of these plans as long as you put work into it.

I do plan to add HIIT back into the mix. My plan for this evening is weights & HIIT – yesterday was just weights. I came in to work early and other than a walk at lunch, got in no cardio. I’ll walk at lunch again today. I got all my unpacking done yesterday, so it was a pretty crazy day.

I am very worried about my husband. His boss is being totally unreasonable (again) – expecting him to drive all over hell’s half acre plus work full days. On the road 7 hours yesterday, 8 today, and going to SC tomorrow. I wish I could support us! Plus the boy’s tae kwon do test is tomorrow night - hubby had to miss the last one and is determined to drive home from SC to be there. I worry about that man. I wish he could find a job close to home. This is just too much stress for him to carry.

Sorry to end this on a bad note – just needed to release some of that.

Super Humongo Salad of Doom (Trough not included)

Vacation was very nice. I mean, you can only relax so much with two 10 year olds, but it was nice. Lots of touristy stuff - the Lost Colony, climbing the Hatteras Lighthouse, taking the ferry to Ocracoke, the Wright Brothers museum in Kill Devil Hills... and a fair amount of reading a book with a cold brew. Rented a kayak & went out in the sound with my son.

It was great, but its also great to be home to my doggie children, and having a huge salad for lunch. "Should we eat that? It's green." ha ha ha

An added bonus: the house we rented had Arnold's "Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding." heh!

Stepping out into the Sun

So, I had an interesting conversation with Father H. yesterday at lunch (note: can I just say I find it freaky-deeky that I spend the occasional lunch talking with a priest?). I was describing what it felt like those 2 weeks where I didn’t use food at all to insulate myself from life. I said, “It’s like stepping out into bright sunlight with no sunglasses. There is no buffer between you and your emotions.” He really keyed onto that word “buffer” and we talked a little about how emotional eaters use food to act as a buffer between themselves & their emotions. And I think most people use something on a pretty regular basis: shopping, working out, sleeping, cooking, - you get it. It’s like it’s too much to take in all at once.

One of my goals for next week is to use my food buffer as little as possible. I won’t say not at all, but minimize that behavior. And be conscious of it when I do CHOOSE to engage in that behavior.

I’m up one pound – 151.5. Okay, I’ll take that. I plan to not gain next week, and then back to the business of losing when I get back. So, 2 weeks until next weigh-in and hopefully a small loss to post!

It will be weird not writing in this blog for a week. That will be the longest I’ve gone without posting in the 15 months since I started it.

So, the stomach thing yesterday. What did I do to myself? Either I ate some combination of food that was evil, or I had a mild case of food poisoning – my stomach hurt worse & worse as the day wore on. I mean, sharp pain! It was obviously gas (I looked pregnant!). The sucky thing was that kind of pains feels similar to hunger pains, so I kept wanting to eat, then having to remind myself that eating to excess would make it worse. I did fine with food, despite poor planning on what I brought in and then the pain. Yuck. I am feeling better this morning.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great week and I can’t wait to read some fantastic workout reports when I get back! I’m gonna miss my blog friends!

3 Days Down

I’ve lifted weights the past 3 days. While I’ve had to make some adjustments to the program, I’ve enjoyed the discipline of going to the gym.

In other news, I had a glass of milk for a snack and I feel gassy. I downed one of my digestive enzymes after the fact – let’s hope that sucker helps!

I planned out food for while I am vacation next week. Other than 2 meals, I plan to keep things pretty much “business as usual”. I know this will be tough since I’m sure hubby will be in full blown vacation mode, and my mom is concerned that we won’t have enough desserts with only pudding, jell-o and a trifle. She must make cookies! (So she claims). And the hubster will want a cooler of beer wherever we go. La. On the plus side, I’m taking my running shoes and my bike. Cardio has been a little slack this week while I work on the weight lifting. Next week cardio rules! And the following week I try to put all the pieces of this cardio/weights/healthy food triangle together – get this – at one time!!!

Some days I don’t want to write a deep post

But today I have to. I’ve been working on dealing with some of the final causes of my overeating and my need to remain overweight. I stepped across the line, retreated back into known territory for a week or so, and now find myself ready to step across the line again. That strange place called “a healthy relationship with food.” I don’t know that I’ll ever achieve full-time resident status, but at least I’ve made a couple of visits. And I mean into true healthy eating – not just following a strict “healthy eating plan”, which for me is just another form of the same problem.

Two posts I’ve read recently helped me on this vision quest of mine.

Here: http://whytheweight.blogspot.com/2005/06/new-attitude.html

And then this response:

http://iamthatgirlnow.blogspot.com/2005/06/on-food-and-eating.html

What it boils down to is this “The emotions are deflected onto something that I'm comfortable with feeling bad about.”

Because really, it’s a lot easier to feel bad about eating a bunch of nachos than it is to deal with the root causes of those bad feelings, isn’t it?

Went to the gym last night for leg night. It’s funny – I can walk out of the gym with my arms too exhausted to lift my car keys, but they’ll be fine the next day. On the other end of the spectrum, I can work my legs and feel okay but then be so sore the next day I can hardly walk up the stairs! So I did a “light” version of the leg routine so I could build up to it. I didn’t want to be too sore for the rest of the week. Finished out with 15 minutes on the elliptical and then went home and took my little dog for a 1 mile walk.

Tonight is back & chest. Yum!

Workout Review and “Ride for the Rice” postponed

“The Body Sculpting Bible for Women” actually has 5 different workouts in it. Two beginner, 2 intermediate, and 1 advanced. I started using the advanced workout. It is a 6 day a week plan. Upper body is divided up into 2 workouts, with the third workout a lower body.

I made a couple of changes. For one, they recommended doing 3 lower body workouts, and 3 upper. You alternate weeks so that 1 week you might hit bis & tris twice, and the following week you hit chest & back twice. I don’t need to lift 3 times per week with my legs since my walking and running help with that already. My leg muscles are pretty good and I want to build my upper more, so I opted to do each workout twice per week.

The other thing is that again they are using supersets (which I like). In weeks 1 & 2 you are doing 3 sets of each exercise, except what they really want you to do is an exercise for sets 1 & 3, with a different exercise for the middle set. You are already combining opposing muscle exercises, so you would have 4 exercises in one superset. That’s a lot of equipment to hog. What I may do is the primary exercise 1 week, and use the alternate the next week. If it sounds confusing – well it kinda is. They want you to do a lot of different exercises for the muscles, which does make sense. The more ways you use it, the better you’ve worked it.

Last night’s workout was a good one. I had to skip the final set of concentration curls & kickbacks because my biceps simply refused to lift the weight. I guess I could have gone down in weight, but I just left it off. Good workout!

When I got home from the gym I wanted to go for a bike ride, but my tire was flat and the pump was in hubby’s van. And he wasn’t home from work. So I fast walked 3 miles instead. Since it was a new lifting plan, I opted to wait until I’d gotten used to it a little before I rode to the gym. I wanted to pick up some steamed rice from the Chinese place to go with dinner (I hate making rice in a pot and my rice maker died. I know, lame). I thought I’d ride my bike to the Chinese place, but – denied! I am really looking forward to riding down at the beach next week.

So, lots of good exercise yesterday!

I love the farmer’s market. I love chopping a whole cucumber and a whole fresh tomato, putting it all into 2 bowls and calling it “salad”. Dressing optional. I made a quickie red beans & rice last night, with some Boca veggie crumbles, beans, and chopped veggies. A little homemade Cajun seasoning blend, and dinner was ready in 15 minutes. Oh, and I did make rice in a pot.

Hubby is out of town the rest of the week. TV dinners, here I come! I had a tv dinner Sunday night – the brand was San Angelo or something – it was Italian. Vegetable lasagna. I remember being impressed in the grocery – 230 calories. Then I read the box while it heated. Yeah – 230 calories per serving. With 1.5 servings in that tiny little box. I hate that crap. Really. How deceptive!

So, exercise good. Food, good. Plan in place. I even got some sewing done last night while I watched a movie. Yay me!

The Dog Days of Summer

Saturday morning I walked out of the grocery, sniffed the air, and said to myself "Summer is here."

But I'm not a very bright woman, meaning I didn't act on that realization. I would have gotten more sewing and less tv viewing done Saturday had I turned the air conditioning on. But I was stubborn.

Then Sunday I should have asked the hubby to help me close some of the windows I can't close before he left for work, but I didn't. So the dogs and I layed around watching tivo-ed lame sci-fi movies, panting and bemoaning our fate. The coolness of beer kept me refreshed (and a cold bath). I did a llittle sewing, but not as much as I wanted due to utter lack of motivation.

The thing I hate most about weekends like this (and the reason why I want to put them behind me - besides wanting to have a waist) is the fact that in retrospect I always come away feeling like I have wasted my time. I could have watched movies while sewing and would have enjoyed my time more.

Oh well.

Today is day 1 of my 6 day a week lifting experiement. I am curious to see how I like this routine relative to the one I have been using. I'll keep you posted.

TGIF

Not a very original title, but the truth. It’s been a super tiring week, with the end of school, the rainy weather, and resulting lack of energy on my part. Here’s to a quiet weekend of puttering around the house while watching all the cool movies I Tivo-ed off Sci-fi channel’s movie marathon last weekend.

Hubby will be playing D&D, so I should be able to have some “me” time even though he will be home. And the boy is going to visit with grandpa until Wednesday. I’m trying to figure out what is the simplest, healthy thing I can feed myself for dinners next week. I’m taking a week off cooking!

Blech.

I woke up feeling like utter crap. Terrible headache. Someone please remove my head. I did nothing to earn a hangover, so please don’t give me one. I am sitting here eating animal cookies and having a diet Sprite, hoping the second 800 mg Motrin of the day will please make me feel like a human.

Lucky I ran when I got home last night – it was raining really hard this morning. I stayed in bed since witches melt in the rain. So does sugar. Which am I, hmmm????

I ate crap after dinner last night. Not a lot, but enough that the remorse more than outweighs the pleasure derived from the food. Lesson re-learned for the 5,672nd time, thanks.

I am supposed to lift weights tonight. I will if I feel like a human by then. I am going to try the 6 day a week program – just call me loony.

We’re Here to Pump You Up!

(I loved that skit on SNL)

This new phase of my lifting is killer! It has you doing 8 – 10 reps of the same exercises, but 4 sets instead of 3. The book organizes them into giant sets of 4 exercises each, but the weight room was packed so I couldn’t hog that many weights at once! I broke each giant set in half. I don’t know if it was that 4th set or what, but I was whipped! After I finished, I had about 15 minutes to wait for the boy. I sat down in the back of his class, leaned my head against the wall, and fell asleep!

Hopefully my run won’t get rained out tomorrow morning – we’re looking at rain through Friday. :-(

Eating is fine – roughly 1530 calories yesterday – I had a glass of milk with a little chocolate syrup when I got home from the gym. Back on track and the water bloat seems to be subsiding.

I’m thinking of switching over to the 6 day a week weight training program – I need to read about it in my book tonight and make a decision. While it might be tough to motivate myself, I think it would pay off. Have you ever really seen something in your mind’s eye? I have a vision of where I want to take my body. Sculpted enough you can see the muscles, but smoother than a body builder (I don’t plan to lose that much fat!). That’s where I want to go, and summer is prime time for me to make progress because I am less hindered by my family’s schedule. What I want is totally realistic and attainable – not a look I can’t achieve or maintain. I see glimpses of it already. Like a sculptor, with clay – I just need to trim away a little of the excess to bring out the piece.

It’s getting there.

Nobody Ever Drowned in Sweat

I think I should have saved The Giro D’Italia on my Tivo – the hubby and I watched the final stage in Milan last night. Let’s just say this morning’s run was pretty amazing – all I needed was a Wonder Woman costume! I was very fired up! I’m not sure “Road to the Tour” is going to be as inspirational.

I can’t wait for my son to be out of school! His is the only school I know of around here still in session this week. Between that, the fact that he won’t be going back there again next year, and general end of year tiredness, he has been pretty cranky lately. Sheesh! Plus, I’m looking forward to being able to bike to the gym. :-)

I’m doing okay – getting back to my routine, which feels good. At some point this summer, hubby will be going back out of town on a regular basis, only coming home on the weekend. While it will stink, I won’t have to cook as much. See, I try to find the silver lining! *lol*

I don’t recommend “Fight Fat After 40” – it is clearly written for someone who does not exercise or know anything about nutrition, IMO. Which is why I appreciate my local library – I’m glad I didn’t buy it.

Have a great day!

A word about Food

Tarantula is a brand of tequila & mixer. The problem is this stuff tastes like a blue citrus slushie – no horrible bite to warn you. Just a yummy drink – right up until it hits you in the head. This is why I don’t drink hard alcohol – too easy to drink too much!

I had a very yummy breakfast this morning. I mixed 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, ½ packet of splenda, and 1 tsp chocolate syrup into ¾ cup organic plain yogurt. Then I added ½ cup raw oats. More calories than I normally consume for breakfast (350), but very good.

I made an excellent tamale casserole for lunch. Here is the recipe: http://theweekendchef.exit-23.net/index.php?s=tamale

The only change I made was to add some shredded chicken. At 300 calories, this tastes too good to be low in calories!

There appeared to be some tasty recipes in Chris Carmichael’s book. My problem is I have so many recipes I sometimes forget what I have! Maybe I should try “theme” weeks where I use a certain book (like Carmichael’s or Joyce Vedral) for the majority of my dinners. Maybe that would get me trying new stuff even more often.

The above mentioned web site has some great recipes – I highly recommend it.

I’m hungry!

Mixed Bag

More good than bad this weekend – but I did slip back into some old habits a little.

1) I had a lot of fun. Our friends came to visit and that was great. We went to see the final “Star Wars” movie. I enjoyed it, although I thought the transformation from Anakin to Darth was a little weak. I didn’t buy his motivation.

2) Eating was mostly good. My “free meal” turned into a meal and dessert and tarantula margaritas though! I never drink mixed drinks except around these friends – they make them a lot. What I wasn’t proud of was 2 moments of mindless stress eating yesterday – the sum total damage was maybe 600 calories. But it’s easy to slip back into bad habits!

3) We trimmed the shrubs in our front yard. It no longer looks like Howard Hughes lives there- ha ha ha!

4) I did get up and run Sunday morning – 2 whole miles. See the comment about margaritas above. At least I got up!

But it’s a normal workday for me. I’m back to writing down my calories. Healthy foods are purchased. Back to the gym tonight. I keep only getting in 2 out of 3 weight lifting workouts. I am determined to get in all 3 this week!

Thanks for the kind words regarding Friday’s post. I think we all have fear – it’s a normal part of life. You just can’t let it hold you back though. It’s a work in progress for me, but at least I’m making progress!

Book Meme

From Athena:

You are stuck inside Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
You know, I don’t remember what the books are. It has been many years since I read this. And while I read this and “1984” and “Brave New World”, I’m more of a “Martian Chronicles” kinda girl – a dreamer I guess.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Not since I was a kid.

The last book you bought is?
“The Last American Man” as a gift. For myself, “The Body Sculpting Bible for Women”.

The last book you read was?
“The Illearth War” – the second book in the Thomas Covenant Trilogy by Stephen Donaldson.

What are you currently reading?
“Fight Fat After 40” by Pamela Peeke (okay)
“Food for Fitness by” Chris Carmichael (I’ll buy this one)
Some book Father Hamilton loaned me about dealing with emotional abuse
I can’t believe it, but that’s all. Only three. Amazing.

Five books you would take to a deserted island?
Around the World with Auntie Mame
Chronicles of Narnia
Cheaper by the Dozen
Encyclopedia of Body Building
Probably some Conan books cause I’m a freak that way.

Neca versus the Volcano

Have you ever seen the movie “Joe versus the Volcano”? It’s a really cute Tom Hanks / Meg Ryan movie. Anyway, Joe is tricked by an unscrupulous doctor into believing he has a terminal illness and only a few months to live. A wealthy businessman needs to secure the mineral rights to a rare mineral on a Pacific Island. (The dr. works for the businessman.) The businessman makes a deal with the natives, agreeing to provide them with a hero who will sacrifice himself to their god – the volcano. Joe is the hero of course.

At one point Joe is in a restaurant, having a conversation with a daughter of the businessman. He’s telling her that in order to really live life, you have to face your fear and do the thing you fear most. She replies, “You mean stop taking daddy’s money and leave L.A.??” He says, “Well yeah.” He knows she’s troubled, but doesn’t know her fear. But she is immediately able to identify that which scares her most.

I don’t know that most people could quickly put their finger on their fear that way, but it’s a good point. At some point in life it’s important to stop letting fear hold you back from the things you want to do. I’ve gone over & talked a couple of times with the asst. priest at my mom’s church (Episcopalian) about this topic. He’s helped me to realize that desires and goals are natural and good. But you have to acknowledge two things: 1) you may not get the outcome you want or the reaction from other people you desire, because you can only control your behavior – not theirs and 2) If you don’t get the reaction or outcome you want it won’t kill you. It may hurt, but you’ll be okay.

I’ve known for a year or so why I was afraid to lose more weight – I fear attention from men. So I’ve kept the last of the weight on. But I’ve realized that I am a very different person than I was the last time I lost weight and I am in a very good relationship. I don’t need to have this fear. I can see why I do – it’s rooted in life experience – but it isn’t necessary. I’ve also realized that wanting to reach out & try to have a relationship with my dad is normal – all kids want their parents to love them. But that doesn’t mean I’ll get love back in return. But if I don’t, it’s not because of who I am. The problem isn’t with me. I’ve left myself in these limbos, afraid to act because it was easier to stifle the desires than deal with the possible outcomes. Thinking about this, talking with Father Hamilton about this – has helped me realize that I’m okay and I’ll be okay no matter what happens.

I think part of it is the fact that I turn 40 next year. One nice thing we get with age is perspective. In our youth we worry so much about what other people think, as we get older I think we begin to realize that 1) other people really aren’t looking at us all that much and 2) we only have a certain amount of time and we need to use it well. Living in fear is not living well.

So lately I’ve been working or releasing my fear, being grateful for what I have, and acknowledging that failure won’t kill me. My reasons for emotional eating and not losing weight are not universal – but I think fear of failure is.

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I am glad this week is over – I am burnt toast! Other than the great pizza incident, I’ve done well with not using food as a comfort, so I am proud of that. My weight stayed the same – considering I am all bloated and holding water like Scrooge held his money, I think that’s a good outcome. I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend, hanging out with friends.

I am running Sunday – I don’t know how far. No promises, I’ll just get up and go until I’ve had enough. Then I’ll come home & make huevos rancheros for my friends! But I have my weekend food all planned out and I am sticking with this. I am feeling better physically, feeling stronger mentally, and am proud of how much internal listening I’ve done in the past 2 weeks.

Have a great weekend!

3 steps forward, 1 step back

I haven’t written the post yet, but I recently made the decision to work on some of the root causes for why I use food to stuff down my emotions. That work has paid off, and I’ve been doing much better lately with my food.

Last night I took a step in the wrong direction. I called hubby on the way home, and he told me he was going to be out of town an extra day. Meaning he wasn’t home for our anniversary. Then I got home. The directions on my crockpot recipe said “cook on low 8 hours.” I came home to a burned, mushy mess. I threw dinner in the trash can, took the trash out, and sprayed Lysol all around my kitchen in an effort to kill the stench. (Not my best culinary week to say the least!).

So the boy & I went out. He chose Brick Oven Pizza (a local place). How many calories are in a pizza? I didn’t say “in pizza” – I said “in A pizza.” I ate an entire small anchovy pizza – light cheese, extra sauce. Okay, I did leave the crust edges. I knew what I was doing, but at that moment, I just really deep down didn’t give a flip.

The good news is I didn’t go home and wash it down with ice cream or anything – I did have an O’Douls later, but that was it. But it is scary how doing that has led me to crave junk. I really would love to just jettison my eating plan and go to the “dark side” foodwise. I know it’s the excess crap in my system, and if I hang in there today I’ll feel better. I also know that by tomorrow the water bloat should be gone and I can still have a good weigh-in. Keeping my all my goals in sight (weight, exercise, & eating), this incident will just be a small blip in the road unless I allow it to derail my plan. Which I will not do. I packed all my usual food, so its back to business as usual today. I have a healthy dinner planned – salmon wraps, no cooking involved. (Thank God! This week I could probably ruin boiled water for some reason.)

I had a really funny dream last night. I dreamt I was building custom storage for this biking fanatic – he wanted all his music stored in the room where he had his indoor bike set up (for winter training). The funny thing was he was playing the Giro theme song full blast while I was working. I think I’ve gone to that Italian news link Jank posted one too many times! (I love that song!) Obviously, I literally can’t get it out of my head – even when I sleep!

Today will be better. It has to be!

This is What I Do

The alarm went off at 5, and I hit the snooze once (I always do). I rolled out of bed at 5:09 and by 5:12 I was standing in the kitchen having some water before I went to run. I was having a pretty cool dream, but never even considered staying in bed. I got up, because that is what I do.

I ran for 2 miles this morning – it was really nice out. A little cool (48 I think), but nice. Last night we walked one of the dogs (we can’t handle all at once!). So 2 walks yesterday. Today is run and lifting weights. I have an appointment at lunch, so no walk then.

Food was good yesterday. I realized that I was out of O’Douls and was too tired to go out for any. So I didn’t have that treat option. Also, dinner was a disappointment. It was a new crockpot recipe, and it didn’t make the cut. So I really wanted something yummy after dinner because I was feeling deprived. I had one Hershey’s dark nugget with almonds (one has 55 calories. Good lord!) and a graham cracker (65 calories). I probably should have had a glass of milk (it would have been healthier). I will stop by the grocery on the way home. I did have a diet tonic water with lime which is so yummy, so that was nice.

For the curious, here’s what I ate yesterday. This is fairly typical for a weekday:

Breakfast: egg burrito with lowfat cheese and salsa: 235
Snack: 1 lf string cheese & carrots : 85
Lunch: homemade spaghetti & meatballs w/ veggies: 400
Snack: homemade French onion soup &
A slice of bread (no cheese) : 100
Snack: ½ a grapefruit & a lf string cheese: 88
Dinner, soup, roll & salad : 375
Snack: 1 piece chocolate & a graham cracker : 120
Total 1403

The day before was 1545, so I do bounce around a bit. I don’t write my food down on the weekend, but I aim to “eat consciously.” So far it seems to be working.

I made a chicken pot pie for the tutor, who had surgery yesterday. We’re going to drop by on Friday. Being a good southerner, I am taking a pot pie, container of soup (frozen) and a breakfast casserole. I was really tired last night, but I was glad to get that done.

I am trying to live in the moment. I can be pretty critical of people (especially myself). I’m pretty good at not being that way with my son. I grew up never hearing praise from my dad, so I know how harmful that can be to a child. And he’s a great kid, so it’s not too tough. :-)

But I know I can be too critical of my husband. And while he can be a goober in many ways, and makes me nuts at times, he is a good man and a terrific husband. The perfect husband in fact (for me at least!). Today is our anniversary, and one of my goals is to be a more grateful person.

I feel a deep, philosophical post coming on – another day. I can’t write them every day – I guess I don’t think that much!

Like Brussel Sprouts and Cottage Cheese, I keep trying to Like Yoga

Last night in the weight room, Linda (the woman I helped last week) was there again. She invited me to the 7:45 yoga class, and I agreed since I was nearly done lifting anyway.

I know yoga is good for my body. I really like the new age music and atmosphere. But I just can’t seem to enjoy it, no matter how great the teacher. Unlike cottage cheese, I guess I’ll keep trying. After all, I learned to like oatmeal, didn’t I?

Stuck to plan with the food yesterday. Exercise was pretty good: 2 mile run in morning, 30 minute walk at lunch, lifted weights, went to yoga. How much exercise is enough? I don’t feel like I do enough. Enough for what? I think I’m pretty healthy. I guess I’d like to be more fit. I plan to start riding my bike to the gym when the boy is out of school. His last day is next Friday – can’t wait! I think he can’t wait either. :-)

I managed to get my lunches prepared for the week, and dinner is in the crockpot. I even loaded the dishwasher & ran it before we left this morning. Tonight my plan is to do a few chores (cooking for a friend, a little housework) and take a walk. I will also walk at lunch today. Is that enough exercise? I wonder…

Food isn’t strange, but our feelings about it can be!

I had a couple of interesting food observations this weekend:

1) We went out for our “free” meal, and I was so disappointed! I had promised myself I could order whatever I wanted with no guilt. I waffled between the artichoke spinach dip and the chicken tenders with buffalo sauce. I got the tenders. The buffalo sauce was sweeter than hot. Blech! I ate about half the order, then handed the rest over to the hubby. He gave me a small piece of his steak & cheese. What a disappointment. Saturday’s nights dinner with the neighbors of homemade (Weight Watchers recipe) tamale casserole and the spiced Mexican rice they brought over was so much better. And much healthier! It’s funny how we build food up in our minds. But it isn’t always the incredible experience we think it will be.

2) I really wanted cheese dip from the Mexican place last night. Washed down with cold beer. I realized that the reason I wanted this at 9 pm was the fact that I was sad the weekend was ending. The hubby was going back out of town, I hadn’t finished all my chores, and I wasn’t ready for the week. I guess having a “treat” would have made the evening feel like a party, thus prolonging the weekend? Anyway, I realized the food (and beer) would make me feel worse rather than better, and wouldn’t change the fact that it was Sunday night. So I had an O’Douls and some leftover baked tomatoes instead.

My eating was good again this weekend. It felt pretty normal, which is a good thing. And I only felt bitter that I can't eat like a glutton and look like a fitness model once or twice (ha!). Exercise wasn’t all that I wanted it to be. I did go to the gym & lift weights Friday night. I didn’t want to, but I told myself it was lift or clean the house. All of a sudden the gym looked great…. Sunday’s run was a shortie (2 miles) due to plans limiting my time. I got a lot of stuff done (clean car, oil change, yadda yadda).

The reason I didn’t finish my cooking chores was due to the fact that I chose to spend my time yesterday making myself a fabulous Mongol-inspired jacket instead. I love it when a costuming plan comes together. I love it! So what if we had to eat Sonic for breakfast and my lunch is part of a can of turkey chili? You must have priorities! I will be the most stylish barbarian at the medieval war in August. And I got no cheese on my breakfast sandwich, so it’s okay. :-)

Old School is Real Cool

Check out this great article: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory?id=773728 Old school works.

Down 2 pounds this week. I'm feeling really good, mostly because I've been eating high quality foods in reasonable portions. I plan to keep my calories at the 1500 level, going a little higher on the weekend. But I need to keep that "little higher" to a little, instead of a free for all. To that end, I am going to plan my meals for the weekend before I leave the office today.

The boy's field day has been postponed to next Friday due to inclement weather. That changes my plans for the day a bit, but I brought all my food in just in case. I think I'll look at a "free meal" Sunday for lunch. I prefer doing it at lunchtime. I have the rest of the day instead of going to sleep, plus there's no temptation to keep the free for all rolling into the evening.

I wish I could get some non-alcohol weizen beer like Jack does. Weizen is my favorite beer. O'Douls is okay, but... Well, hey. 150.5. Heading in the right direction!

BTW

According to the cyclingnews.com, Jan Ullrich and his long-time girlfriend have split. As soon as I finish losing this weight, I plan to move to Switzerland just in case he needs any consolation. (Right!)

Steppin’ Out

So, here is the walk report: Total steps in 24 hours: 17,957. I put the pedometer on at 8 am yesterday – when I left work I had about 6,000 steps. Clearly all that water drinking means a lot of potty trips! And I’m obviously pretty fidgety. I didn’t take my normal walk at lunch due to the appt. When I went to bed I was at 11,000. That was with no “intentional” exercise. This morning I got up and walked 2 miles. For me, 1 mile was 2300 steps – according to the Mayo clinic book about 2000 steps is a mile (I’m short so my stride is smaller). Anyway, these are pretty simple pedometers – they only count steps. And I don’t know how sensitive (or accurate) they are, since they handed them out and everyone that participated gets to keep the pedometer. The top 3 steppers get a Mayo clinic book and a digital scale. I really don’t want to scale!

Calories were a little low yesterday (1415 or so) – we ate tv dinners last night (how sad is that?). The boy was tired when I picked him up from school and didn’t want to go to tae kwon do. It kinda worked out – tonight is his last night at the reading tutor (he’s been going twice a week for 18 months). He wanted to make her some homemade soap (a project we do each year at Christmas). So we went & got stuff to make soap, a nice lily plant for her, and a couple of pair of shoes for him with a Kohl’s coupon I had. Then we went home & he made the soap while I cleaned the kitchen. I was so tired I fell asleep while he was taking a bath. I asked him if we could go to bed early, and we both headed off at 9. So maybe it worked out okay that I didn’t hit the gym. I was pretty pooped myself! Oh well, move on.

This afternoon is our department “fun day” at a local park. Lunch is Kentucky Fried Chicken – I can easily pull the skin off the actual chicken, but I need to check out their web site and pick out a couple of side dishes that will be good choices. Their potatoes taste like wallpaper paste and their biscuits are greasy, so being good won’t be too difficult as long as I can pass on dessert.

Tomorrow I am taking half a day to go to my son’s Field Day at school. Then it’s off to the gym, clean the house, and have supper & wait for hubby to get home. He’s been working out of town this week, so I’m hoping to have the house all clean & ready for the weekend when he gets there.

I’m curious to see what the scale has to tell me tomorrow. I feel good, although I don’t think I ate enough yesterday, which would explain why I was so tired.

Okay, so it Didn’t Really Suck

I’m making progress! Each time I go to the doctor, she gives me this little readout slip – it has all sorts of info on it. It has weight, % body fat, lean body weight, fat weight, basal metabolic rate. Then it has my goal body composition – she has selected a target body fat for me of 21% - the upper end for my age. It then shows me what my body composition would be at that weight and how many pounds to go until I reach goal.

Today my body fat was 26.7% - down from 29% last time and a starting percentage of 33%. I was down 4 pounds of fat and up 2 pounds of muscle (Iron therapy is a good thing). I am 10.9 pounds from goal. She has told me that I may want to go a little lower – that 17-18% body fat is fine. So 10.9 is the high end, but its what I need to lose according to my doctor to be in a good range. 26.7% - woo hoo! That feels so sweet.

The Hungry, Hungry Hippo is Wearing a Pedometer

I was so freaking hungry yesterday! I ate the same things I did the day before, so what is up with that!?! The only thing I can think of is the weight lifting Monday night. I do know that after a hard session in the weight room I need more sleep (which I why I generally walk in the evening rather than the morning after a gym day). I guess maybe I need more food? I do have a post workout snack…. Yesterday’s total was 1513 calories – not too shabby. It was nearly all healthy food. I did have to score a box of jello sugar free fat free pudding on the way home though, so I had a serving of that for dessert. Sometimes the chocolate beast within must be appeased.

They were handing out pedometers to the first 200 people that asked for one this morning at work. The 3 people with the most steps tomorrow win a prize, and everyone gets to keep the pedometer. I have visions of me pulling a “Rebecca” (ha ha ha!), circling the parking lot at lunch in an attempt to win. :-)

I have a doctor’s appt this morning – the cool thing about that is she always checks my bodyfat. Which isn’t actually cool when I get the number.

Yesterday was a 30 minute walk at lunch, and a 2 mile walk after work. This morning was a 2 mile run, which was really nice. A hint of coolness in the air, along with the heavy smell of honeysuckle. Which is a truly awesome smell. I ran a variable pace – speeding up at times, slowing down others, and taking a couple of breaks when I needed them. I only have enough time for the 2 miles during the school year, but lately I have been trying to make it a little more challenging by mixing it up. Tonight is the gym (mostly legs) workout. The boy & I may go for a walk after – I want to try & win the pedometer competition and I only have until 8 am tomorrow to walk a billion steps. Plus I won’t have time to walk at lunch due to the appt. I’ll let you know the number, if you promise not to laugh.

Also, a great post about working out: http://epiphany.diaryland.com/ It’s dated 17 May. Wow.

Pillsbury’s frozen Microwavable Dinner Rolls are the Handiwork of Satan!

I’m an educated woman. And having been working at this weight loss thing a while now, you know I’m a compulsive label reader. I dunno what I was thinking. I didn’t read the label on these suckers until last night after I’d eaten one with dinner. Who put this crap in my grocery cart anyway??? I guess I was thinking, “How many calories can one roll possibly have?” Try 150, sucker. Good lord people! I didn’t blow my dinner, but I wasn’t expecting that! It wasn’t even an amazing culinary experience. What a ripoff.

Calories came in at 1480 (roughly) yesterday. I didn’t choose my target of 1500 arbitrarily – according to my doctor, my basal metabolic rate is around 1550. And let’s face it – you don’t know exactly how many calories you consume, it’s just a good guess. I figure if I shoot for a number around my BMR, I wouldn’t get too hungry but would lose weight. I do plan to eat a little higher on the weekend due to my increased exercise.

Exercise yesterday was excellent! I did that 2 mile run in the morning, walked 30 minutes at lunch, and then lifted weights while the boy was doing tae kwon do. The program changed this week. The theme of weeks 3 & 4 seems to be “gonna mess you up.” I thought I was gonna drop the weights on my feet as I was finishing up the stiff legged dead lifts. I was a hurting unit as I staggered out of the weight room.

The exercises themselves didn’t change. In weeks 1&2, you do 2 sets of each exercise (in compound supersets), 12-15 reps, with 90 seconds between each exercise. This week, you do 10-12 reps, 3 sets, with 60 seconds between each group of exercises. So you do (for example) back then chest (no break between), rest 60, then another back to back of chest & back. Doesn’t sound like a huge difference on paper, but oh my god! And of course, I upped nearly all my weights because I was only having to do 10-12 rather than 12-15. Sweet mercy!

I also had a Hallmark feel good moment in the gym last night. This lady came wandering in, obviously out of her element. She wanted to do squats, but was used to doing them in a class. She had no idea how much the bars weighed or how to do them. She was amazed that she could actually do the 45 pound bar! I showed her how to set up the cage, so she could do them without a spotter. She was so excited. It was really cute to see someone so happy about learning a new exercise in the gym. That’s always so cool to me.

Here’s my exercises:

Set 1
Db row: 40/10 40/10 40/12
Flat db press: 30/10 30/10 30/12

Set 2
Shoulder db press: 25/10 25/10 25/10
Calf raises: 25/20 25/20 25/20 (you did 15-25 reps of this one exercise)
Set 3
Db bicep curl: 20/10 20/10 20/12
Tricep overhead extension: 35/10 35/10 35/12

Set 4:
Squats: 35/10 35/10 35/10
Sldl: 35/10 35/10 35/10

On this last set, I was still using dumbbells. So the total weight used is double the dumbbell weight.

Good stuff.

Get in the Groove

Hurray for my eating! “Click.” Totally stuck with my plan last week. Totally stuck with my plan all weekend. Had one “free” meal (pizza and diet Coke for lunch Saturday). Added some grilled chicken along with the brats last night, so the dinner turned out great & really healthy (I had 1.5 brats – not bad). My sister brought a great dessert – low fat, low cal trifle made with fresh strawberries. I was impressed! My eating was the best it’s been for a weekend since I started trying to lose weight. It didn’t feel tough and I am so proud of me!

I had an appointment after work on Friday, and never made it to the gym. Had a fantastic 7 mile run yesterday (despite the rain) with my new MP3 player. It is now fully loaded with 180 songs – the best gift ever. Hubby used it for a walk and now wants one too! Got a lot done, yet also felt like I really had time to relax. Now that’s a great weekend!

This morning I have already written down all my food for the entire day until dinner. My goal is to hang out around 1500 calories a day, going a little higher on the weekend. Ran 2 miles this morning. I brought in my weight training book and my lifting notebook. During lunch I plan to read up on this week’s workouts and write down tonight’s in my training log, checking for appropriate weight and reviewing the exercises as needed.

I am feeling empowered.

Master of Maintenance

Yep, 152.5. At least I’m consistent, right? Eating was good yesterday. Last night was a test: Mom picked up the boy for tutoring and I went home to walk. But we had a thunderstorm, so I wound up just hanging around the house, doing dinner prep & reading. I had my post dinner snack (1 cup 1% milk with 1 tsp chocolate syrup) since I knew we’d be eating late, then I had an O’Doul’s while I read. I still wanted something so I had a diet tonic water with lime. That was really yummy. I wasn’t hungry, just bored. The tonic water made a nice treat with no calories. I wrote down everything and looked it up on Fitday – total calories for the day were 1451. Pretty good – I ate a lot of healthy food and didn’t get hungry.

Exercise was good yesterday – 2 mile run in the morning, 30 minute walk at lunch, and then we walked the dogs 1 mile last night after dinner. Today is another run and weight training. Saturday is a rest day, and Sunday is 13 miles. I am planning my food out for the weekend. We are grilling out homemade bratwurst Sunday night with my sister & her fiancee. My plan is to eat only 1 and supplement with some other lean meat. We’re also having corn on the cob (grilled) and homemade 3 bean salad (no sugar). I have done my best to set myself up for success. I have also started buying YuengLing beer – the hubby likes it but I don’t care for it. That way he can have a beer if he wants but I won’t be tempted. I’ve got my O’Douls!

Have a great weekend!

A Couple of Quotes (not exactly a second post for the day)

Jank put a great Lance quote in his blog message today. I have a couple from Dave Draper's weekly newsletter I wanted to share:

Your attitude is either your driving force, or your millstone. Save the heavy weights for the gym floor; cut loose the millstone that weighs you down and allow the driving force to propel you forward.

Know your limits and go there regularly.

Then Bob Barker whispered, “Let’s Make a Deal.”

There is a fine line between structure and restriction. While I love structure, I hate the feeling that restrictions have been placed on me. Making dieting “rules” is an invitation for me to rebel – even if I was the one that made the rules!

I am so tired of life here in the low 150s. Really – it’s time to move on. I was driving down the road yesterday afternoon, and I had this utterly bizarre vision of Bob Barker whispering to me “Let’s make a deal.” Not a rule, a deal. It’s time to get this behind me, so I’m willing to deal. Until I get into the 140s (and I don’t care where), no beer. Not a rule – not a punishment – a deal. I will eat better (beer always tells me it would be tastier with nibbles), I will not be ingesting non-nutritive calories, I will get there a bit faster than at a snail’s pace.

This is tough for me. I’ve lost this weight by not giving up any food – just cutting back and exercising more. But I want results a little faster, and this is the price. So, I’m gonna make a deal. How long will it take to lose about 3 pounds? 10 days? 2 weeks? I dunno. But I want to see 140 on the scale more than an evening treat. Besides, that’s why god invented O’Doul’s. Yes, I fully realize this is a mental word game. I don’t care.

I love “iron therapy.” Last night at the gym was amazing. I am really liking my program. It changes every 2 weeks – so next week will be something new. Have I mentioned I love working my shoulders? I feel like Conan when I work shoulders. When it comes to muscles, bigger is better, especially on me. Great weight session, followed by 10 tough minutes on the elliptical. Only 10 minutes – but I had the resistance cranked and the sweat was pouring off. It felt amazing.

This morning I got up and ran 2 miles doing my speed intervals. While not yet fully loaded, I did use my new Rio iPod. The Apple didn’t work with our computer. I felt strong and happy.

Food yesterday was good. I stuck with my plan and I am feeling good about that. I know – for one whole day! But still, I plan to string several days together. ;-)

I'm Back

So, I took off Friday and then unexpectedly took off Monday and Tuesday due to illness (first the boy, then me). But I'm back, I'm following my Fat Flushing Plan (I'm off the white food and caffeine, other than a cup of green tea with lunch). Since my weekend just wasn't that great, I won't go into detail except to say higher insurance rates are in my future (my brand new car too - at least it wasn't bad). Ugh.

Off to the gym tonight for some much needed iron therapy.

I have gone forth and read blogs - even though I didn't leave comments. For that I apologize - comments to me are like finding a hershey's kiss on your chair. Except they don't have calories! They just seem to give you that little lift - sometimes when you really need it. I dunno if other people feel that way, but I try to share them when I feel so moved.

Anyway, hope you are all enjoying the great outdoors!

I just love positive feedback

"I would like you use your short, but motivating e-mail on my website. I think it really says it all regarding just getting in there "where you are" and doing it. I will then have a link that will take them to the xxx site so they can join in with us (our e-group). I think it would help inspire a lot of other people."

Shared the "jump in where you are" post with a e-group I am on, and the moderator sent this back. Wow. I am really flattered!

The Good, the Bad, the Weigh In

Since I won’t be at work tomorrow, I weighed a day early. Down 3 pounds – hurray! I knew a lot of last week was bloat, but that’s pretty good! There goes 3 of the 5 pounds I gained in April.

The down side is I am firmly stuck again seemingly, although as a slightly lower number. Today I was 152.5 – my new home it seems. I am determined to see the 140s! I went home last night & re-read key sections of my Fat Flush book so I could be ready for next week. I meant to take a walk as well since I missed it at lunch but didn’t manage to do that. I did walk in the morning though, as well as lifted weights last night.

I would post what I did in the weight room, but I didn’t bring my log with me. It was heavy on the leg exercises. Actually, this whole plan places more emphasis on legs than I normally did. That’s not a bad thing, but I’m not sure I feel like there’s enough upper body. While I am on the 3 day a week program, I may add push-ups to failure at the end of one day and inverted rows to failure on another. Gotta keep that upper body buff, doncha know? Seriously, my upper body looks pretty good – you can tell it would be really good if I would lean out a little (working on it!).

The Fat Flush isn't too difficult to follow really - it basically means eliminating starchy carbs, sugar, alcohol, caffeine. Lot of lean meats, veggies (all you want) and 2 fruits a day. Plus eggs & protein powder are "legal" also. That's the basics of the food plan. I think I'll feel better after following that for a couple of weeks.

Are you guys doing anything special for Mother's Day? My mom & MIL are coming over for dinner Sun My mom is bringing the shrimp (already cooked & peeled) and dessert. My MIL is bringing her appetite. Ha ha ha. I have small gifts for both of them. Considering MIL didn't remember my b-day (she said "sorry I forgot" but never even sent a belated card), I think I am being very generous. Please feel free to nominate me for sainthood. :-)

On the down side I am going to my brother's wedding. I'm sure most of the guests are the bride's parent's friends so I won’t know many people. And of course my evil dad will be there sucking up the air & life force of others. Icky-poo! But I am going for my brother. Dad's mom isn't bothering to show. God that half of my family sucks my emotional well-being away.

Done with that negativity. Here’s a suggestion, and not just because it’s Mother’s Day. Take time this weekend to tell a kid you are proud of them. Maybe for something they did at school, maybe for being generous. Whatever. There’s my challenge for the weekend. I don’t think we can give our children too many sincere compliments. If it’s sincere, they will know.

Back to Flushing

After waking up this morning, I have decided to go back and do the “Fat Flush Plan” 2 week detox again. I’ve gotten in the habit of eating more bread, rice, & pasta than I want to be eating. That plan makes me eat “clean” – very similar to what I call “body builder eating”. It is a little low on the carbs for 2 weeks, although it does include plenty of vegetables and fruit. But this time of year, I love going to the farmer’s market and loading up on veggies anyway. So it’ll be pretty easy to follow. And I need to get the caffeine & alcohol out of my diet – for a while at least. This stuff isn’t making me feel good mentally or physically (except when I’m consuming it).

Walked this morning. Tonight is day 2 of the weight lifting plan – I’m excited about that! Also, the boy is going to grandpa’s after school today since Thursday & Friday are teacher workdays. And “Deathstalker 2” came in the mail yesterday. I feel a bad movie night coming on. Tomorrow we’re hitting the $3 theater in our town for “Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”. As much as I loved those books, I’m a little leery of seeing the movie, but hubby is wanting to go.

Well, that's about all I know. Mighty quiet in this corner of blogland. Hope everyone is doing well & enjoying spring!

No spiffy title, just good exercise

So, last night I did the first workout from “The Body Sculpting Bible for Women”. The book has several programs: a intro level, 2 “intermediate” workouts – one with very basic equipment and one assuming you have more, and a “super intense” 6 day a week program for the truly insane. I selected one of the middle programs – the one with more equipment since I am doing it at the gym.

Weeks 1 & 2 of the 6 week program have me doing 2 sets of more reps (12-15 range). So the weight is fairly high but nowhere near max, and there are 90 seconds breaks. The exercises are arranged in compound supersets. Here is what I did last night:

Set 1:
(back) db row: 30/15 30/15
(chest) incline db press: 25/15 25/15

Set 2:
(shoulders) db shoulder press: 20/15 20/15
(calves) standing calf raises: 20/20 20/25 (this one exercise had you do more reps)

Set 3:
(bicep) db curl: 15/15 15/15
(Tricep) overhead db extension: 30/15 30/15

Set 4:
Db squats: 30/12 30/12
Stiff legged dead lifts: 30/12 30/12

I never do either of the exercises in set 4, so I was uncertain how much weight to use. Also, I plan to go a little light on the legs since I am keeping up my running program.

This morning was a 2 mile run. I rolled out of bed, into my clothes, had a few sips of water and was out the door in under 5 minutes. The cool thing was I’d run most of the first mile before my eyes were fully open! I ran the run parts fast and used the walks for recovery. Felt so good. The hubby got out & walked a mile. I caught him as I was getting ready to cool down, so we walked the last stretch together.

I was starved yesterday, and wound up scoring a bag of hot air popcorn in addition to my planned food. I had a light supper to try & make up for it.

If you need inspiration, read this marathon report. I got all verklempt. http://www.msteechur.com/ (go to the blog)

Well, that’s all I know. How is you training going? Anything new or special?

When your best isn’t good enough, it’s time to get creative!

I am a fan of the “Flylady” (www.flylady.net). At first glance it’s about de-cluttering your home and creating routines to keep it neat. Really, it’s more about de-cluttering our lives and setting up routines so that we can enjoy the things that are truly important. She has an e-group which sends reminders, all of which end with the phrase “You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K.?”

Think about that for a moment – what a liberating thought that truly is. Imagine if we gave ourselves permission in all areas of our lives to not beat ourselves up for where we are versus where we think we should be. Like our weight. Like our fitness. Don’t try to catch up, just jump in where you are. Own that phrase and watch your inner brat cringe and curl up into a ball!

I’ve been missing the discipline of a running program. Just getting out there wasn’t getting it for me because I wasn’t because I felt I lacked a purpose. My “best” hasn’t been good enough. Not being able to run while my husband was sick really de-railed my training plan for the June marathon. So I spent a couple of weeks whining about poor me and not getting out there. This weekend I got out there. Inner brat whined, but Inner Athlete just said “This time we’ll pick a run farther out, so that we’ll have some fluff in our routine. No more picking a run, counting back, and leaving no margin for error.”

Another flaw in my logic has been my expectations. The moment I cross the finish line of my first marathon, the angels will not sing, the remaining 15 pounds of lard will not fall magically off my a$$, and I will not look like “Buff Girl” at the gym in an instant. (Inner brat despises Buff Girl because she exists and uses air. I give Inner Brat a little leeway so I can keep her under control.) While it will be a great accomplishment, I have been building it up like some sort of holy Mecca of fitness - hanging my self of worth as an athlete on this one thing. Not good.

So, I have tentatively picked a run in November (yes, November). There are weeks of fluff built in, so if I need to take off for a vacation or illness that’s fine. I can always get to a point and hold there for a couple of weeks. It’s flexible. I looked at my running log, and looked at a marathon training plan, and tried to figure out where to jump back in. I picked an 11-12 mile run.

Like Gaul, yesterday’s run was divided into 3 parts. Since I was just looping around the neighborhood, I stopped at home at the 4 and 8 mile points for potty breaks. I had bought some cinnamon apple flavored Hammer Gel at the tri (YUM! I was using the wrong flavor all along!), which I used. I rolled out of bed at 5:30, had a power bar & half a glass of diet Pepsi, and headed out the door.

Miles 1 – 4 were excellent. Cool, still dark, quiet. Felt excellent. I stopped at the house & took off my t-shirt (I had on an aerobic top – jog bra thing that looks okay in public), had some gel, & headed back out.

Miles 5-8 weren’t too bad, except I had to pee for 7 and 8 (have I mentioned my bladder is the size of a peanut?). But still feeling good. More gel, & I was back out.

The last 3 miles it was getting warmer and more people were out. The birds were enjoying the worm “all you care to eat buffet” the rain had left on the pavement. I thought I hadn’t gotten a runner’s high, but then realized that this was my longest run in 4 weeks. The fact that I was still feeling good was awesome!

After the run, I had breakfast, a hot bath, and a nap. It took more out of me than I thought. It felt so good to be back out there. I did much much better with my eating over the weekend, I hit the gym Friday after work, and I am feeling much more like myself again.

I’m back!

The Smith can be your friend

While I think that free squats are better than Smith squats, here's a great article in Muscle & Fitness (Hers) showing some uses for the Smith. They show a nice assisted pull-up (inverted row they call it). I plan on using that baby!

http://www.muscleandfitnesshers.com/hers/120804/smith.html

Life Can Resume

We have our house back - woo hoo! I am feeling better already, which is saying something considering I slept lousy last night.

I am grateful for Friday, a relaxing weekend, and a nice trip to the gym this evening! I plan to do some HIIT on the elliptical after doing legs, abs, & low back. Dinner is in the freezer (homemade chili), so it's a low maintenance evening - just what I need!

Not Fitness Related, except the last paragraph

Just wanted to put that up there. The thing is, my husband hired a helper (hubby is a carpenter BTW) a few weeks ago. The helper (we’ll call him A) lives in Raleigh. This was fine when the hubster was working out of town. Because A doesn’t have a driver’s license, he has been staying with us during the week ever since hubby started working close enough to come home every night. This has probably been going on 3 weeks now. This would be difficult even under the best of circumstances. The circumstances aren’t the best. Suffice it so say, my home is no longer a place I can go to unwind. I am angry and resentful there, unless I’m hiding in the bathtub. I am in danger of turning into a raisin at any moment. I’ve never been this clean in my life – ha ha.

Ironically enough, hubby has been feeling the same way and both of us have been waiting for the other to speak up. Ugh. Anyway, we are putting in our notice that this will end. So I am glad of that. I just feel I am in this holding pattern until then. I hate feeling like I am “waiting” for something. I’d rather just live. But at least improvement is on the horizon.

I have no fitness news. I had to get blood drawn this morning, so both breakfast and exercise were a no go. Cafeteria food has never looked so good as it did this morning! Tonight is back & chest at the gym, plus an evening walk, and a walk at lunch. Breakfast was a piece of quiche from the barfeteria and half a grapefruit. I love grapefruit. Lunch is a big salad some protein chunks (chicken probably). Dinner tonight is rotisserie chicken, steamed green beans, and fresh corn on the cob. And plenty of water, since I drank hardly any yesterday. I left my lemon at home and I can’t stand plain water with no lemon.

ttfn!

Serendipity

Three times is a charm. First, my girlfriend went to a belly dance seminar in Florida (she dances with a troupe) and was telling me about this great African dance troupe that put on an exhibition. 2) At our diversity conference, a local African dance troupe (which has traveled all over the world) performed and I was impressed. 3) Today while working the blood drive, a lady that works near me (but in a different department) plops down & asks “How did you lose the weight?” We start talking and she invites me to come out to a local African dance class. (She said there were white girls there:-). So, I guess that will be my next foray into fun fitness.

Krista over at stumptuous.com has put up instructions in how to modify pull-ups to assist yourself so you can actually build up to doing them. I did assisted pull-ups on the Smith with my feet on a bench last night. I am quite sure I looked like a total dumb-a$$, but I really felt it in my arms. Did I mention I actually lifted real weights last night? Biceps, triceps, and shoulders. Can I get a rousing rendition of “We Will Rock You”?

Also, I made myself some liquid crack (lima bean soup). Note to self, take a digestive enzyme with that. Hope everyone in the weight room blamed that on somebody other than the cute blond hanging from the Smith machine. Just saying.

When the low hanging fruit is gone

First off, yesterday was a darn good beginning. Had a much better attitude due to seeing some changes implemented, plus I walked & ate well. We are going to the gym tonight due to a change in the boy’s schedule. Which probably was for the best, as I was able to get in a really good speed-work session this morning. That might have been tough after leg night. I ran 2 miles this morning, doing some pretty fast (for me) runs with walk breaks. Felt great! After just a day of eating well and exercise, I feel like a brand new woman! And my husband even got up and walked a mile this morning, which made me very happy.

I was thinking about this whole journey. When you first decide to lose weight/get healthier, it’s not simply that you are in the “honeymoon phase”, it’s the low hanging fruit theory. When you go to pick apples off a tree, the first ones you pick are the ones easily in your reach. I submit we do this when we make our lifestyle changes. The first changes you make are the easiest to implement. They don’t take a whole lot of effort. Everyone’s easy changes are different – maybe it’s switching to diet soda, or packing your lunch. You lose weight, then it stops. You make a few more changes and you lose a little more. Until you get near your goal weight. With 10 to 15 pounds to go, you’ve made a lot of changes. If you’ve kept it off, you’ve probably changed your lifestyle. But you still want to lose a little more and there’s no more low hanging fruit in site. If you want more, you have to head for the garage for the ladder cause it won’t be easy!

That’s where I feel like I am. The changes I need to make to lose the last bit of weight are known to me. I know what I have to change to lose the rest of the weight. But what’s left are the tough changes (for me). And given the fact that I derive emotional safety from this extra fat, I have chosen to sit here on the fence. My goal is in sight, but I am hesitant to go there. If you read what I write here, you know I want to go for it, but I am afraid. And I know the changes will mean some sacrifice. Is it worth it? Will I fish, or keep cutting bait? Only time will tell.

Of fair weather blogging and goal setting

I have been writing here for over a year now. I post regularly – 4 or 5 times a week unless I’m on vacation. I am not a fair weather blogger. You know the type, they’re all amazingly insightful posts and/or all fired up…. For a while. Then they get tired, or something happens, and they disappear for a month or 2 or forever.

The down side of my compulsion is that you have to read even when I am struggling, or down. (Or not I guess.) Every boring detail gets written about here. Like others, I want to slink away to a corner when I am struggling. But having to come back to this place helps to keep me accountable the way WW meetings do for some. Sorry bout that, but really, this place IS all about me, right? :-)

Megan (who is a fabulous writer BTW), posted a comment to my last post about what my goals were going to be. Well, besides losing the rest of my flabby belly (ha ha), for cardio it will be running. I like riding my bike. I love running. I swim because I have to for triathlons. It is so off my radar until next December! :-O I also need to get better about doing my HIIT, because I’ve been even more slack about that than I have my weights.

For weights, I am going to use the 3 day per week plan in the “Body Sculpting Bible for Women.” I love weights, but my lack of focus has led to boredom. Without a workout partner who also happens to be a personal trainer, my plan has not had a lot of focus. It’s time to change that. I need to get fired up about the weights again. As they say in corporate America “We need to be maniacally focused.” That always makes me think of Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”, but a little maniacal focus might help. I am going to sit down with the book this weekend and write out my workouts.

The book has you do a routine for 2 weeks and then change it up in order to keep your body off balance. Sounds good – I seem to be suffering from a case of “short attention span theater”. That’s my high level plan – specific details will follow.

Back to Basics

Stress is an insidious thing. First you are slacking a little on the weights, then you miss a couple of long runs, and the next thing you know you are eating buttered noodles and ice cream for dinner while watching “Dracula 3000”, wondering what happened to your shiny dream of fitness.

But this isn’t a car accident, where you are skidding out of control, powerless. You have power. So do I. I expressed some feelings, and asked for some changes. Message given and received.

So, today is back to basics. Many things have slipped, and I can’t just jump back to where I was – I think that would be too much. Today I am going to do legs at the gym, and go for a walk after lunch. My food is planned. My book “Body Sculpting Bible for Women” came in the mail, so I am going to set up a routine. But this week something in the gym is better than the nothing or half-ass crap that has been passing for weight training for the past 3 weeks.

I have to say I am a little jealous. I read about Lee’s 100 k bike event, and Lynne’s 50 mile ultra. And Jack is getting ready for his first marathon! So much exciting stuff going on here in our fitness blogdom! My goal is to run this upcoming weekend. Having to cancel my marathon plan has left me feeling a little adrift, but that is no excuse.

Back to putting myself first.

Of Vacations and my Secret Vice

I realized a couple of years ago that we needed 2 vacations per year: one for my husband and one for me. The first couple of years we had the one vacation (“his”), but that just didn’t work.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned here that my husband and I met because we both do medieval battle recreation. Every year we attend the largest medieval battle recreation in the world in August in Slippery Rock PA called Pennsic. Its 2 weeks long, but we generally attend for 7 – 10 days. I love getting to hit people with sticks every day for days on end – really, its cheaper than therapy and you get to tell some great stories. “So, I was on the front line in the bridge battle – Gigantor fell and actually fought sitting on top of me…” Priceless. And I love it. But the place we go is a primitive site – basically a flat plain. And group camping in primitive conditions (2 spigots for a couple of hundred folks and bring your own shower) gets pretty tiresome, especially when you have a child to tend to. So I decided I needed a “me” vacation.

My husband is a good man. So 2 years ago when I calmly announced that we were spending a week in a resort on the Mayan Riviera, he was cool with that. This year it’s a house on the outer banks for a week (Hatteras to be more precise). I love his vacation, but I need something that’s relaxing in a different way as well. It works.

Which brings me to my vice. It’s pretty tough to keep sunscreen on continuously for 10 days, especially when you may be down at the battlefield sweating for a few hours. So I started going to the tanning bed 4 years ago. I usually start around April 15th, and tan until we leave for Pennsic (early-mid August). I don’t get super dark – just a good enough coat that I won’t suffer from sunburn if I’m exposed to the sun for an hour or so. Since then, I’ve never gotten a sunburn. But I have mixed feelings – I know tanning isn’t good for you, but burning isn’t either. And tanning is a little pricey. I like the way I look with a tan. I guess it sounds dumb, but I feel a little guilty for doing it – that’s why I called it a “vice.” I’m trying to decide whether to do it this year again or not. I dunno.

We have begun discussing “my” vacation for next year. I want to spend a couple of days hiking the App Trail. We have a nice section here in NC and we could do it fairly cheaply. Since we wouldn’t be up there a super long time, we could get away with using cheaper equipment. My son is totally excited – my husband is resigned. But he’s willing, bless him.

Last night was chest & back, with a hard 15 minutes on the elliptical. This morning was a great 2 mile walk. Tonight I am finishing upper body. Since we have team building out of the office tomorrow and I don’t have to be there until 9 am, I am planning a short “long” run tomorrow morning. Maybe 5 or 6 miles, with a real long run on Sunday.

Lunch out of the can

This is a plug for Goya products – I’ve tried a few lately. Sofrito and recaito are both a little like a pureed salsa, but with different stuff. Great thrown in with some chicken in the crockpot, or to zest up some canned beans. Just rinse the beans, add a little seasoning, and there’s a good side to go with lunch. This week I’m eating a tuna patty (made with ½ can of tuna), ½ a can of beans (today was black beans), and ½ a can of green beans. Pretty healthy, easy, and cheap. What’s not to love? Goya also has some good seasoning packets as well. I am throwing out what is left of my birthday cake tonight. I’ve eaten “on plan” so far today, and my body is thanking me!

Luckily, I have beer tastes to match our beer budget

I’m not much of a shopper. But I really enjoy shopping for beauty products. I don’t usually – I pick up mascara or whatever I need while I do my grocery shopping. But yesterday, I stopped at W-M and at the drug store to browse & buy. I got a couple of high ticket items: a L’oreal dermabrasion kit (read it was good in a magazine) and some of that hair color that you also add highlights. Those were about $20 each. Then got some Nivea sunless tan for your face (it’s a very mild one so you can add just a little color) and some powder that supposed to help with redness (which I get on my cheeks). Those were about $10 – I read about the Physician’s formula corrector in a mag also. Then just a bunch of stuff – root volumizer, hair spray, 1 lipstick and 2 glosses, mascara, blah blah blah. Did a great masque on my face last night, and generally felt like a princess. As much fun as a trip to the day spa for less $$$. I try to be a low maintenance wife, despite yesterday’s rant.

Pics up

Look in my pictures link over on the side. New albums are called "Fox bday 05" (that's the boy's bday), "Fox brown belt". "Pilot Mtn 05" (recent hiking trip), "Triathlon 05" (I posted the dreaded swimsuit pic - be kind), "Neca bday 05", and "Me! spring 05" - pics of my now not-so-new- hairdo.

Is my birthday no longer cursed? (but I’m still a pudge)

Here’s a true story about my birthday. See, I grew up in a family where you got gifts, and a special dinner, and the cake of your choice, because your birthday is your very own special day. I know not all families are like this, but mine is. You don’t have to be like that, but that is how things work in my world.

While my husband did not grow up like this, he has embraced the concept whole-heartedly for his birthday. But mine??? We’ve been together for 4 of my birthdays now. Birthday #1 happened 4 days before he moved down from DC. We were on the phone and he failed to mention my b-day. I say “Aren’t you going to wish me a happy birthday?” He says “Is it your birthday?” I say “yes”. He says “Are you sure?” No further mention is made of my birthday again that year.

I am not a stupid woman. I know men don’t have esp. I explain exactly what I expect, using words appropriate for a comic book. The next year, my grandfather is in the hospital dying. What was supposed to be a routine surgery became a horrid nightmare. We met at the hospital, visited, went out to eat (at a place I selected and paid for), visited a little more, and went home. It became obvious my husband hadn’t done anything. He said “Things have been so busy, I didn’t think I needed to.” Being a mature adult, I drove to the store for a 6-pack. Which I drank and then cried myself to sleep. He left, bought something he wanted, and gave that to me the next morning.

The next year I explain that, like the state of California, I have a “3 strikes and you’re out” policy. I tell him what I want – an MP3 player. He did get me one (it wasn’t wrapped and there was no card), but he was getting better. Until I found out a few days later that he’d let a bunch of financial stuff with his business slide and we were several thousand dollars in debt I didn’t know about. I re-took control of ALL finances, we went to counseling, and the MP3 went back to the store.

Queue up this year. I again want an MP3 player. My Sony walkman died, and the cheapy stand-in doesn’t play in reverse (so every 45 minutes I have to physically flip the tape over). It sucks. I print out descriptions (complete with pictures) of the 2 I like. Because my husband is himself, he of course waits until yesterday to buy it. Which he does on the way home from work. He has agreed to pick the boy up from tae kwon do so I can go home, paint my toe nails, and finish watching “Wrong Turn” to send back to Netflix (young people being chased by cannibals through the mountains of W.V. – must be watched with no kids around).

He comes home and wants to immediately hand me the package (in the bag he bought it in). Can you spell b-i-t-c…, I knew you could. I calmly (okay, that’s a stretch) explain that all I want is a gift that is something I would like, on my actual birthday, in a f-ing gift bag. I’m not difficult. If it smells good, is used in a bathroom (soap, foam, spray), and is in a gift bag I’ll be happy!!! I go for beer. He goes to the guest room, where he discovers the iPod is not compatible with Windows ME. I say I guess it has to go back to the store. I cry and go to bed.

This morning, I get up to fix his lunch and breakfast. He comes in with a gift bag and a card. He admits he bought the card and gift bag at the drug store after picking up the boy after my tantrum. It’s a nice card, and there’s a mini iPod shuffle in the bag. His helper has offered to load Windows XP on our POS computer so I can have music on my MP3 player. I tell my husband he is my hero, the greatest husband in the world, and that I love him.

He really is a good husband. He’s just got to learn that a) I need to manage the money and b) when in doubt, it’s hard to overdo my birthday.

The rest of the stuff

After getting my gift, I had a great run (with my crappy soon to be former walkman)! Got dressed, & the boy & I went to Sonic for breakfast. Without the cheese, the ham & egg sandwich isn’t a bad choice. I should probably not listen to 80s hair metal around my son, as we sat & discussed the lyrics to “Cold Shower” by Kix. He decided it was about a guy being dissed by his girl – she slams the door in his face, leaving him to walk home in a cold rain shower. Thank god for that interpretation. See, someone is looking out for me! I drop him at school – he says “Smell ya later, Jeeves” as he slides out of the car. I cue the Rocky theme, open the sunroof, and decide to have a good day even though I’m at work!

Also, got a ton of pics yesterday – I will let you know when they are loaded onto my picture site. I am still a pudge, although I am looking better. I refuse to post the one of me in my bathing suit at the tri Saturday. Really. Ugh. I was thinking sushi for lunch, but maybe just a diet Coke & a cigarette. Okay, just the diet Coke, but only if it has lime.

Thanks for the great birthday wishes – I am so appreciative of the great friendship & support I’ve found here in this corner of blogdom. I have decided this will be a great day!

Odds & Ends & A Race Report

I couldn’t get into blogger on Friday, and I was home sick with the boy Thursday. So, I’ll try to catch you all up. :-)

The tri report:

Note to self: Next year maybe we should pony up the funds for a hotel in Raleigh. I’m all for staying with friends, however, there were a number of things I didn’t know: 1) Their guest room not only doesn’t have a bed, it has hardwood floors. 2) Not only did the almost-4-week-old baby wake up, they keep their house roughly the surface temperature of the sun for said baby 3) Thanks for loaning us the alarm clock. Too bad you set it so it went off at midnight! Do I even need a number 4???

Needless to say, we were all a little tired Saturday morning. But we’d had an awesome dinner at the Mongolian grill (and a trip to Sephora!) Friday night, so we tried not to be too bitter. Got to the race site (we’d checked in the night before), set up in the transition area, got marked, and waited our turn. It was cold and windy Saturday morning. I told the guys we’d be grateful for it later, but I’m not sure my son believed me. It did stink for the spectators.

The swim was me, and it went okay. Having a cold made it tough – I actually had to stop mid-lane and cough at one point! But I did fine, and sprinted into the transition to pass off the chip. Poor hubby had it tough. I knew it would be hard – with the shingles, he hadn’t ridden in 3 weeks, plus was still a little tired. And it was still very windy! Not to mention hilly on the back side of the course. But he did okay, and the boy & I were waiting. We passed off the chip & the boy & I were off.

I can’t tell you how proud I am of my son. He was a bit slack with the training leading up to the race, but he did a good job with the pace and with making good use of walk breaks. His ankle was bothering him a little, but he hung in there and did great. We had put on sun screen, which was good. By the run it was sunny with a slight breeze. Perfect. He had saved enough to put on a good finish, and I have to tell you I got all teary as we went through the chute together. Hubby was waiting on the other side with PowerAde, which we needed!

There was still pizza, pasta, and pasta salad left, and we noshed on that. Then loaded up the car to head home. We made a pit stop just down the road at Dunkin Donuts, and we all got our favorite donut plus a large coffee for the hubster. Which was a good thing, cause you know both the boys passed out, leaving me “alone” to drive us home! Thank goodness for 80s metal CDs – nothing like singing along with the Scorpions & drinking your husband’s coffee (did I mention I don’t like coffee?) to keep you going. I made it to Burlington before I woke him up & made him drive the last half hour.

Times are supposed to be posted today, so I’ll let you know about that tomorrow.

The scale report:

Down a pound last Friday. I won’t make my birthday goal by tomorrow, but I’m headed in the right direction! Maybe by this Friday though!

The birthday report:

It’s tomorrow, but went out with sister, mom, & family last night. Sushi. Yum. Good gifts, good food, great time. I’m a happy woman!

The head report:

Doing the tri seems to have blown out the last few cobwebs. I’m feeling in a much better place today. A lot more upbeat about training. Looking forward to lifting tonight, and I got in a great walk this morning.

Misc:

I really thought about Lynne doing her 50 miler Saturday. I told my family how much I admired her. A couple of people sitting next to us overheard and asked “Is she still out on the course?” I explained she was doing a 50-miler, and they asked why. My answer was “because she can”. But I was thinking, Here you are in your fancy gear - you obviously do tris regularly Why are you here? Why do any of us do these things? I mean, we could get the same benefits a whole lot cheaper if we just ran or biked around our neighborhoods. But there is something about going someplace and doing it with a bunch of other people that pumps you up in a different way. If you read my blog regularly you know I’m not a frequent racer. A couple a year is plenty for me. I don’t train for them. I train for the zen of the training. But I think my son got a taste of that “high” you get when you’re out in a race. He & my husband both are already talking about next year’s family team triathlon. :-)

Can't a girl get a break???

So, my mom went to the hospital with my grnadma last night, and couldn't take the boy to tutoring. So, my evening got hosed and no exercise happened. But eating was at least okay. This is getting frustrating! And my poor mom was at the hospital until 2 am!

p.s. If I seem flip about my grandma, it's just that she has had Alzheimer's for 15 years now, and going to be with my granddaddy would be a blessing. Instead she has "great health" - besides the fact that she has no freaking clue who she is.... So, we just won't go there today.