Fake News from "Fat Cyclist"
Oh Lord, this cracked me up!!! http://spaces.msn.com/members/fatcyclist/
Scoop! Lance Armstrong Comes Out of Retirement!
Friends, Family, Sheryl Crow Heave Collective Sigh of Relief
Austin, TX, August 24 (Fat Cyclist Fake News Service) – Less than four weeks after winning what was presumably the final race of his career, Lance Armstrong today announced in a hastily-called media conference that he is coming out of retirement. Said the rumpled, unshaven seven-time Tour de France champion, "Uh, I guess I'll be racing the Tour de France next year." Then, after pausing for a few seconds while exchanging glances with Sheryl Crow, Armstrong continued, "I'll also be racing the Giro d'Italia." Another five silent seconds elapsed, after which Armstrong finished, "And the Vuelta Espana." Armstrong concluded the media conference abruptly by saying, "No questions. I have to go ride my bike now."
Crow Gives the Go-Ahead
Rock star Sheryl Crow, who has been dating Armstrong for more than a year now, explained Armstrong's decision. "He's racing again because I was going to completely lose my mind if he didn't get out of the house and do something. I swear, if he isn't at Home Depot buying new power tools or downstairs playing Halo — I haven't yet told him Halo 2 has come out — he's catching up on seven years' worth of television. Yesterday, he watched the entire second season of 24. You know how long that took? All day and night." Crow took a deep breath and continued, "Back when he was preparing for the Tour, Lance and I used to talk about how great it would be when he was retired and he'd have time to do nothing but relax. I had no idea he meant that so literally." At this moment, Crow stopped and took three deep breaths before continuing, "So, yeah, he's going to start racing again."
Neighbors Enthused for Armstrong Comeback
Armstrong's next-door neighbor, James Scott, reports being pleased with Armstrong's decision to re-enter the peloton. "A few weeks ago I was washing my car and Lance comes over, wearing pajama bottoms and an "I won the Tour de France 7 times and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" shirt. "We start talking about the Tour," said Scott, "and he's helping me wash my car. Nice guy, really. And then I realize he's rubbing down my car with one of his yellow jerseys. I told him he should be protecting them for posterity and he says, 'Oh, I've got a million of 'em. You want it?' And of course I said 'yes.' I mean, who wouldn't want one of Armstrong's jerseys?"
"That was nine jerseys ago," continued Scott. "Now anytime I go outside to water the lawn, trim the hedge, whatever, he's out there with an excuse to talk about glory days and try to unload one of those jerseys. I've started avoiding him, if you want the truth."
Armstrong Reacts
"I'm ready to get back into the routine," said the record-holding Tour winner when reached for comment. "At first, it's fun to be a full-time dad, but after a couple days you find yourself trying to remember which of the twins always wants to wear purple and which wants to wear pink, and how you're going to get Luke back home from soccer practice when it's the girls' naptime, and there are still dishes in the sink from two days ago." "And have you ever been forced to watch "Dora the Explorer?" asked Armstrong, his face growing animated. "Now, there's a time trial for you. And they want to watch the same episode like three times per day. I swear, if I hear that 'I'm the Map' song one more time...." "There've been times when I'm making three different kinds of soup for lunch," continued Armstrong. Grace likes Chicken and Stars (with the chicken bits taken out), Isabelle wants Cream of Chicken, and Luke wants Cream of Tomato, unless he changes his mind after I've made it and decides he wants Spaghettio's. That's when I think, 'OK, who's the domestique now?' So no, I'm not too upset about having to get back on the bike."
Asked about his plan to race all three grand tours in 2006, Armstrong said, "Can I win all three? I have no idea. That's not even the point. I'm just doing what I'm told." And when will Armstrong retire permanently? "I dunno," says Armstrong. "When will the twins be in school full time?"
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The fitness blog where I don't mention exercise!
I am slowly getting things put away, purchased for school, etc etc. And I got a much needed haircut (my life is sooo exciting!). Eating is okay - exercise is still not really there. I recognize I would get burned out if I do too much, so I'm trying to just walk some, eat right, and know I'll get back into my exercise routine next week when my house is better.
The steroid cream is helping the boy (and me) a lot. I let him wear shorts to school today since his legs no longer look like he scratched them both with a machete.
Vacation had waaaaay more drama than anyone wanted, which sucked. In a nutshell, one couple wanted to do their own thing, without regards to equitable distribution of work, or group norms. Yuck. We met some new people we really like (which was cool) - weather was nice. I think the couple in question may be invited to leave - frankly, I hope so. We'll see.
I read this on a Pennsic message board - it summed up nicely not only how I feel about Pennsic, but why I love to run and hate the dreadmill:
'I think one of the reasons Pennsic seems so "magical" to us is because I truly believe that it's more along the lines of how we are supposed to live. We aren't supposed to sit around apartments alone. We are supposed to live in tribes, and sit around campfires, and be the social creatures that we are. The sounds in our lives are supposed to be other people's voices, crickets, running creeks, birdsong, drums and music. Instead, we force ourselves into boxes drained of color, sound, and life, fill our ears with electronic hums and engines, fill our noses with disenfectant and artificial scents to replace the ones we've lost. Instead of firelight, sunlight, lightning, and starlight we light our dark, dead world with cold electric gadgets.
We spend a week or two living on, in, and with our planet, feeling the heat, and the cold, and the rain, and the wind. We are at the mercy of the earth's rhythms and moods, being who we are for real with all the crap stripped away, and then wonder why we feel like our souls are dying when we finally come back to "civilization".'
Yeah.
I am slowly getting things put away, purchased for school, etc etc. And I got a much needed haircut (my life is sooo exciting!). Eating is okay - exercise is still not really there. I recognize I would get burned out if I do too much, so I'm trying to just walk some, eat right, and know I'll get back into my exercise routine next week when my house is better.
The steroid cream is helping the boy (and me) a lot. I let him wear shorts to school today since his legs no longer look like he scratched them both with a machete.
Vacation had waaaaay more drama than anyone wanted, which sucked. In a nutshell, one couple wanted to do their own thing, without regards to equitable distribution of work, or group norms. Yuck. We met some new people we really like (which was cool) - weather was nice. I think the couple in question may be invited to leave - frankly, I hope so. We'll see.
I read this on a Pennsic message board - it summed up nicely not only how I feel about Pennsic, but why I love to run and hate the dreadmill:
'I think one of the reasons Pennsic seems so "magical" to us is because I truly believe that it's more along the lines of how we are supposed to live. We aren't supposed to sit around apartments alone. We are supposed to live in tribes, and sit around campfires, and be the social creatures that we are. The sounds in our lives are supposed to be other people's voices, crickets, running creeks, birdsong, drums and music. Instead, we force ourselves into boxes drained of color, sound, and life, fill our ears with electronic hums and engines, fill our noses with disenfectant and artificial scents to replace the ones we've lost. Instead of firelight, sunlight, lightning, and starlight we light our dark, dead world with cold electric gadgets.
We spend a week or two living on, in, and with our planet, feeling the heat, and the cold, and the rain, and the wind. We are at the mercy of the earth's rhythms and moods, being who we are for real with all the crap stripped away, and then wonder why we feel like our souls are dying when we finally come back to "civilization".'
Yeah.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Swamped
Gotta tell ya, I love vacation, but coming home from this kind of vacation is a bear. There's a 15'x15' medieval style pavillion, wooden camp bed (complete with double futon), furniture, armor, cooler, cooking gear, my son's tent, bed, armor... then there's clothes, camp shower, day shade for the kitchen... we looked liked the Clampett's going and now it looks like someone called in an air strike on my house. The car still won't fit in the garage and I haven't been running because I can't find my spandex shorts! Oh yeah, and the boy had to go to the dr this morning because he has a severe case of poision ivy (which the darling shared with me). And yesterday was the first day at a brand new school.....
However, I am pacing myself and slowly getting through the clean-up. Eating is good, and I've gotten up to walk both yesterday and today. I'm trying to ease back in and not get myself freaked out. In the olden days, I would have worked until I collapsed, then called in sick. I'm doing better than that. The boy seems to be adapting well, and he's been a total trooper about the poison ivy.
We've going back for a weekend thing in 3 weeks!
I am slowly reading blogs - sorry for not leaving comments or anything. Give me a weekend to catch up at work & home, and I'll be back to my normal self. (Is that a good thing? :-)
Gotta tell ya, I love vacation, but coming home from this kind of vacation is a bear. There's a 15'x15' medieval style pavillion, wooden camp bed (complete with double futon), furniture, armor, cooler, cooking gear, my son's tent, bed, armor... then there's clothes, camp shower, day shade for the kitchen... we looked liked the Clampett's going and now it looks like someone called in an air strike on my house. The car still won't fit in the garage and I haven't been running because I can't find my spandex shorts! Oh yeah, and the boy had to go to the dr this morning because he has a severe case of poision ivy (which the darling shared with me). And yesterday was the first day at a brand new school.....
However, I am pacing myself and slowly getting through the clean-up. Eating is good, and I've gotten up to walk both yesterday and today. I'm trying to ease back in and not get myself freaked out. In the olden days, I would have worked until I collapsed, then called in sick. I'm doing better than that. The boy seems to be adapting well, and he's been a total trooper about the poison ivy.
We've going back for a weekend thing in 3 weeks!
I am slowly reading blogs - sorry for not leaving comments or anything. Give me a weekend to catch up at work & home, and I'll be back to my normal self. (Is that a good thing? :-)
Monday, August 22, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
A fun new way to feel like crap about your body, and “Genuine Soviet Service”
Don’t feel quite bad enough about your saggy tummy and baggy thighs? Go get a spray tan. Oh sure, all the doctors are telling you it’s the way to go – so much safer than the tanning bed. Sure. Right up until the point you’re in the dingy room (from all the random spray stuff going everywhere), with your arms propped up on full length mirrors (since you have to hold them up so long - make them turn the mirrors away!), stripped down to your 15 year old underpants you wore cause you knew they’d have to go in the trash after this, standing in front of a 17 year old size 2 wearing a baby doll shirt that says “cheerleader.” A tanning bed is way healthier than suicide watch at the local psychiatric ward IMO.
Oh, and be sure to ask Miss Cheer how long it takes this mess to dry. “It just really like depends on the person. Maybe 20 minutes, sometimes and hour and 20. It shouldn’t be that long though.” Great – me feeling like I’m being crucified between 2 full length mirrors showing me all my flab in heinous detail. He!! on earth. What was I thinking?
The tan looks great – maybe I’ll get one for my sister’s wedding next month.
Next errand on my vacation checklist (after I’d gone home, dried, and hosed the excess off in a shower): Wal-Rip. I needed 6 or 7 last minute things. First there is waiting at the deli counter for 20 minutes. I thought that was bad. Oh no, just the warm up.
There is (was?) this great Russian restaurant in San Francisco called Cinderella’s. The food was amazing. And they offered what my Russian instructor sardonically referred to as “Genuine Soviet Service.” Actually, service in the Soviet Union was better in my experience.
Anyhooo….. So, they’ve remodeled our local W-M, removing half the cash registers and replacing them with the self serve ones. Only the scanners don’t work very well and the one girl who is looking out for a 8 of these things is on the phone. I couldn’t help it – I let loose a loud “Jesus Christ!”, complete with sigh and eye rolling. The people in front of me wouldn’t look at me as they tried (in vain) to scan 67 little things of cross stitch thread. I wasn’t mad at them – the people next to us were having the same problem, only nobody was helping these people. You have no idea how close I was to walking out. If I had a machine gun, I would definitely remove the self checkouts in favor of the people they replaced. (For the record, the self checkouts at the local grocery work fine – W-M was being cheap by buying crappy ones I guess).
But I’m outta here in less than an hour! Woot!
Don’t feel quite bad enough about your saggy tummy and baggy thighs? Go get a spray tan. Oh sure, all the doctors are telling you it’s the way to go – so much safer than the tanning bed. Sure. Right up until the point you’re in the dingy room (from all the random spray stuff going everywhere), with your arms propped up on full length mirrors (since you have to hold them up so long - make them turn the mirrors away!), stripped down to your 15 year old underpants you wore cause you knew they’d have to go in the trash after this, standing in front of a 17 year old size 2 wearing a baby doll shirt that says “cheerleader.” A tanning bed is way healthier than suicide watch at the local psychiatric ward IMO.
Oh, and be sure to ask Miss Cheer how long it takes this mess to dry. “It just really like depends on the person. Maybe 20 minutes, sometimes and hour and 20. It shouldn’t be that long though.” Great – me feeling like I’m being crucified between 2 full length mirrors showing me all my flab in heinous detail. He!! on earth. What was I thinking?
The tan looks great – maybe I’ll get one for my sister’s wedding next month.
Next errand on my vacation checklist (after I’d gone home, dried, and hosed the excess off in a shower): Wal-Rip. I needed 6 or 7 last minute things. First there is waiting at the deli counter for 20 minutes. I thought that was bad. Oh no, just the warm up.
There is (was?) this great Russian restaurant in San Francisco called Cinderella’s. The food was amazing. And they offered what my Russian instructor sardonically referred to as “Genuine Soviet Service.” Actually, service in the Soviet Union was better in my experience.
Anyhooo….. So, they’ve remodeled our local W-M, removing half the cash registers and replacing them with the self serve ones. Only the scanners don’t work very well and the one girl who is looking out for a 8 of these things is on the phone. I couldn’t help it – I let loose a loud “Jesus Christ!”, complete with sigh and eye rolling. The people in front of me wouldn’t look at me as they tried (in vain) to scan 67 little things of cross stitch thread. I wasn’t mad at them – the people next to us were having the same problem, only nobody was helping these people. You have no idea how close I was to walking out. If I had a machine gun, I would definitely remove the self checkouts in favor of the people they replaced. (For the record, the self checkouts at the local grocery work fine – W-M was being cheap by buying crappy ones I guess).
But I’m outta here in less than an hour! Woot!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Things I've Missed This Summer
I read this post this morning, and it reminded me why I love running. I go on and on about weights, because I do love them. But running doesn't always get so much press around here.
Summer has been hot. The weight room at the Y has been packed with annoying teenagers (while as individuals they might be fine, in large packs they quickly become obnoxious). It's been difficult for me to get out and do much running, other than an early morning quickie. When the temps hit the upper 90s or 100s, with the humidity at 80%, they're telling people NOT to go out & exercise.
All this adds up to workouts that have become rather perfunctory - I do them so I can lose more weight. But I seem to have misplaced my joy. And I've begun to get that frantic feel about losing the weight again - like, if I don't get below 150 by tomorrow, the world will end. I hate feeling like that. I continue to struggle to find the happy place between manic and apathetic.
I love summer, but now I am feeling ready for the fall. Ready to be able to go out & run for 2 or 3 hours without having heat stroke. I miss the time where it's just me & the thoughts in my head. When I don't feel so frantic to lose weight, get stuff done, etc. Time to slow down & enjoy the run.
I read this post this morning, and it reminded me why I love running. I go on and on about weights, because I do love them. But running doesn't always get so much press around here.
Summer has been hot. The weight room at the Y has been packed with annoying teenagers (while as individuals they might be fine, in large packs they quickly become obnoxious). It's been difficult for me to get out and do much running, other than an early morning quickie. When the temps hit the upper 90s or 100s, with the humidity at 80%, they're telling people NOT to go out & exercise.
All this adds up to workouts that have become rather perfunctory - I do them so I can lose more weight. But I seem to have misplaced my joy. And I've begun to get that frantic feel about losing the weight again - like, if I don't get below 150 by tomorrow, the world will end. I hate feeling like that. I continue to struggle to find the happy place between manic and apathetic.
I love summer, but now I am feeling ready for the fall. Ready to be able to go out & run for 2 or 3 hours without having heat stroke. I miss the time where it's just me & the thoughts in my head. When I don't feel so frantic to lose weight, get stuff done, etc. Time to slow down & enjoy the run.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Mom’s night off
Yes, I declared a mom’s night off last night. Food was heated up (I’d cooked it over the weekend) and TV was watched. I watched the interview with Lance Armstrong. I thought it was interesting to hear him talk about the different stages of the Tours he has won. Worth watching.
Then we watched “The Village”. I have to say it was totally not what I expected. A suspense flick for sure, I was thinking it was more along the lines of horror/supernatural. Not at all. Very good. Then we watched part of “Aliens” until time for bed. I love that flick. Bill Paxton has some of the funniest lines ever.
I wanted ice cream, and of course my husband was going to drive to the ice cream shop to get me some. I told him no, but I see a scoop of coffee ice cream in my future before too long.
I don’t like feeling low energy. Luckily it’s not permanent.
Yes, I declared a mom’s night off last night. Food was heated up (I’d cooked it over the weekend) and TV was watched. I watched the interview with Lance Armstrong. I thought it was interesting to hear him talk about the different stages of the Tours he has won. Worth watching.
Then we watched “The Village”. I have to say it was totally not what I expected. A suspense flick for sure, I was thinking it was more along the lines of horror/supernatural. Not at all. Very good. Then we watched part of “Aliens” until time for bed. I love that flick. Bill Paxton has some of the funniest lines ever.
I wanted ice cream, and of course my husband was going to drive to the ice cream shop to get me some. I told him no, but I see a scoop of coffee ice cream in my future before too long.
I don’t like feeling low energy. Luckily it’s not permanent.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Food, Exercise, & My friend
So, I walked 3 times yesterday for a total of 6.5 miles. I also lifted weights (tris, bis, & shoulders). It was pouring rain this morning, so no run. :-( I’ll hit the elliptical or something when I go to the gym after work today.
Food yesterday was weird. Total calories: 1360. I did NOT plan enough food, and three times was so hungry I had to add in something. So, I was a bit unrealistic in my planning. However, I ate pretty darn healthy, so that is good. For the curious:
After run: popsicle (15) – extra – I woke up hungry
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs & beef chorizo (190)
Snack: 4 c air popped popcorn & baby carrots (85)
Lunch: green beans & okra from cafeteria (100), soy ‘chicken’ patty & dip (180)
Snack: 4 c air popped popcorn & nectarine (127)
Snack: chocolate milk (150) again, not planned
Snack: popsicle (15)
Dinner: Gorton’s grilled fish fillet (100), can of turnip greens (123)
Snack: fudgecicle & beer (NOT together!) (140)
Snack: tomato sandwich (125) – I could not go to bed this hungry. I just couldn’t
I am proud of how many veggies I ate and I limited my low quality carbs. Well, until that sandwich – I was so hungry and of course I never have any good snackie stuff in my house (with good reason!). Once I counted it all up, I realized there was plenty of room for a couple of add-ins. Everything is the same for the rest of the week, except lunch veggies are from home for the rest of the week, so they are lower calorie. I’ll probably have a sandwich again tonight – just not that close to bed (I think it was 8:30 or so when I ate that).
A friend of mine just had WLS. I think she is one of the people who will be successful with it. She is talking about how much she is looking forward to going running and was asking for web sites with food ideas etc. Several people here at work have had it now – the ones who embrace changing their life seem to do very well. The ones who don’t seem to struggle more.
I was reading the web site of a man who chose to follow the diet without having the surgery. He had the same loss as a WLS patient, without the cost, missing work, etc. Still, to follow a diet that strict is pretty amazing. I don’t think I could do it.
So, I walked 3 times yesterday for a total of 6.5 miles. I also lifted weights (tris, bis, & shoulders). It was pouring rain this morning, so no run. :-( I’ll hit the elliptical or something when I go to the gym after work today.
Food yesterday was weird. Total calories: 1360. I did NOT plan enough food, and three times was so hungry I had to add in something. So, I was a bit unrealistic in my planning. However, I ate pretty darn healthy, so that is good. For the curious:
After run: popsicle (15) – extra – I woke up hungry
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs & beef chorizo (190)
Snack: 4 c air popped popcorn & baby carrots (85)
Lunch: green beans & okra from cafeteria (100), soy ‘chicken’ patty & dip (180)
Snack: 4 c air popped popcorn & nectarine (127)
Snack: chocolate milk (150) again, not planned
Snack: popsicle (15)
Dinner: Gorton’s grilled fish fillet (100), can of turnip greens (123)
Snack: fudgecicle & beer (NOT together!) (140)
Snack: tomato sandwich (125) – I could not go to bed this hungry. I just couldn’t
I am proud of how many veggies I ate and I limited my low quality carbs. Well, until that sandwich – I was so hungry and of course I never have any good snackie stuff in my house (with good reason!). Once I counted it all up, I realized there was plenty of room for a couple of add-ins. Everything is the same for the rest of the week, except lunch veggies are from home for the rest of the week, so they are lower calorie. I’ll probably have a sandwich again tonight – just not that close to bed (I think it was 8:30 or so when I ate that).
A friend of mine just had WLS. I think she is one of the people who will be successful with it. She is talking about how much she is looking forward to going running and was asking for web sites with food ideas etc. Several people here at work have had it now – the ones who embrace changing their life seem to do very well. The ones who don’t seem to struggle more.
I was reading the web site of a man who chose to follow the diet without having the surgery. He had the same loss as a WLS patient, without the cost, missing work, etc. Still, to follow a diet that strict is pretty amazing. I don’t think I could do it.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Change Management
First, thanks for the encouraging words. It helps so much to know I have people rooting for me, who know what I’m going through.
If my weight problem were solely due to my husband’s behavior, then I would have lost all the weight while he was working out of town. His behavior does contribute, but I am responsible – both for my actions and also for the feelings that drive those actions.
But this has got me thinking about what a big change losing weight is for so many of us. And the biggest change isn’t the weight we lose – it’s the way we change: how we spend our time, the activities we want to take part in with friends & family, the way we eat, the way we view ourselves. Those are huge – and our spouse or kids or whoever, they didn’t sign up for it. It’s not like we held a committee meetings, looked at the long and short term outcomes, and had a vote. Let’s face it: I bet most people have no clue what they are signing up for when they decide to drop a few pounds. I had no idea how much my life would change.
Don’t get me wrong – all the changes are worth it, and for the better. I feel better, I look better, I’m healthier. I’m enjoying my life more. But I certainly understand when families get hurt or angry or just plain confused – they never saw it coming.
I had a nice weekend – food was good. Exercise was okay – 3 mile run Saturday, but hub rode without me yesterday. I had so much to do and so little time to do it (I worked 5 hours yesterday), so I told him to go ahead & bike without me. He really enjoyed it – it was a nice morning.
There is so much to do to get ready for this vacation. Son’s clothes are packed, the kitchen is packed, and I started on my clothes. The weather is so unpredictable, and I need clothes for working, fighting, and looking nice. It’s a lot of stuff to pack! Hub is making us some nice wooden camp chairs (I’ll take pictures Jack!) – he is nearly done with those.
I have a somewhat strict food plan for the week – we have a clan meal plan for next week. I helped plan the food, but I know I will eat more than normal (something about living outside) and not as well. Oh, and the alcohol will be flowing freely in the party atmosphere of camp every night. Luckily this is once a year!!
But for this week, I have my food all planned, purchased, & prepped for the week. I have set myself up for success, and I have given myself permission to weigh less than 150. That may sound silly, but like I’ve written before, I have a lot reasons to treat my extra weight as a security blanket. I feel a little like I’m 3 and giving up my wubby.
Here are some pics of the boy's room redo - didn't it come out great?
Friday, August 05, 2005
"The Talk"
So, I sat down & talked with hubby last night. He agreed that the issue isn't so much me losing weight, it's that in the evening when he wants to sit around & snack, he needs a "partner in crime" to help justify the behavior.
He has own food issues, and he needs to lose weight as well. I'd like for him to, but I can't control that. I make him healthy meals, try to encourage an active lifestyle (although I know I cross into "nagging" territory from time to time), and try to set a good example.
But I have food issues of my own I struggle with, and sometimes I can't be strong in the face of someone bringing home food & sticking it under my nose. Yes, having a husband does make it more difficult at times! :-)
I won't say the problem is solved, but I have raised his awareness of what he is doing and its effect on me. That is a step in the right direction.
Very nice evening last night. Dinner was broiled white fish and green beans. I did 50 minutes of cardio - a combo of biking and walking. When we realized we still had 50 minutes of the train wreck that is the movie "Alexander" remaining, we hit eject and watched an episode of "Forever Knight" instead. Life's too short to waste time watching a crappy movie. Really.
I got up this morning after re-setting the alarm. I decided I could afford to sleep until 6 before my long run. While sitting on the toilet, I realized that it wasn't Saturday - it was Friday! I never do that. Here's the funny thing. I re-set the alarm, got up to pee, and while I was sitting there I wondered about my weight. I realized I didn't know what it was because I hadn't weighed for the week (I have weighed myself on Friday for 3 years or so now). That's how I knew it wasn't Saturday. I'm not sure if that's funny or sad, but there it is.
I did weigh today - 150.5. No, I did not lose 5.5 pounds of fat in a week, but that shows how much water I was hanging onto. I am now sitting beside the proverbial virgin fat territory - yet again. Third time's a charm right? Oh 140s, I haven't seen you in nearly 5 years, but I've got a date with you next Friday!!!
So, I sat down & talked with hubby last night. He agreed that the issue isn't so much me losing weight, it's that in the evening when he wants to sit around & snack, he needs a "partner in crime" to help justify the behavior.
He has own food issues, and he needs to lose weight as well. I'd like for him to, but I can't control that. I make him healthy meals, try to encourage an active lifestyle (although I know I cross into "nagging" territory from time to time), and try to set a good example.
But I have food issues of my own I struggle with, and sometimes I can't be strong in the face of someone bringing home food & sticking it under my nose. Yes, having a husband does make it more difficult at times! :-)
I won't say the problem is solved, but I have raised his awareness of what he is doing and its effect on me. That is a step in the right direction.
Very nice evening last night. Dinner was broiled white fish and green beans. I did 50 minutes of cardio - a combo of biking and walking. When we realized we still had 50 minutes of the train wreck that is the movie "Alexander" remaining, we hit eject and watched an episode of "Forever Knight" instead. Life's too short to waste time watching a crappy movie. Really.
I got up this morning after re-setting the alarm. I decided I could afford to sleep until 6 before my long run. While sitting on the toilet, I realized that it wasn't Saturday - it was Friday! I never do that. Here's the funny thing. I re-set the alarm, got up to pee, and while I was sitting there I wondered about my weight. I realized I didn't know what it was because I hadn't weighed for the week (I have weighed myself on Friday for 3 years or so now). That's how I knew it wasn't Saturday. I'm not sure if that's funny or sad, but there it is.
I did weigh today - 150.5. No, I did not lose 5.5 pounds of fat in a week, but that shows how much water I was hanging onto. I am now sitting beside the proverbial virgin fat territory - yet again. Third time's a charm right? Oh 140s, I haven't seen you in nearly 5 years, but I've got a date with you next Friday!!!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Beyond mere frustration
I have decided that my husband doesn’t want me to lose weight. Why do I think this? Here is a fairly typical scenario that plays out all too often in our house:
I have certain trigger foods. I cannot banish them from the house. I have tried, but my husband agrees to do so, but then brings them home anyway. (And sometimes I do too even if I’ve banished them).
Instead, I’ve asked that we bring home one evening’s portion if it’s coming into the house. So, if we want cheesy poops (for a hypothetical example), then we will buy 2 single serving bags, or one “grab bag” and split it. We agree we will not purchase a big bag, because everything that comes into the house will be gone by bed, regardless of the quantity.
Husband agrees, but then comes home with the “family size” of last night's heinous trigger food of doom (yet again). Oh yeah, I won’t argue – I’m the one that shoveled the excess into my pie hole. But I didn’t bring it into the house. I’ve sat there in tears begging him not to bring it into the house, and then he does anyway. Last night at 2 am, utterly furious, I told my husband that next time he brings more than one evening’s portion into the house at a time, I will dispose of it. I will not allow it to remain.
I hate that there are certain things over which I apparently have no control. But keeping them out of the house DOES work. I just can’t get my husband to do that. It makes me want to cry – or hit him with a 2 by 4.
I have decided that my husband doesn’t want me to lose weight. Why do I think this? Here is a fairly typical scenario that plays out all too often in our house:
I have certain trigger foods. I cannot banish them from the house. I have tried, but my husband agrees to do so, but then brings them home anyway. (And sometimes I do too even if I’ve banished them).
Instead, I’ve asked that we bring home one evening’s portion if it’s coming into the house. So, if we want cheesy poops (for a hypothetical example), then we will buy 2 single serving bags, or one “grab bag” and split it. We agree we will not purchase a big bag, because everything that comes into the house will be gone by bed, regardless of the quantity.
Husband agrees, but then comes home with the “family size” of last night's heinous trigger food of doom (yet again). Oh yeah, I won’t argue – I’m the one that shoveled the excess into my pie hole. But I didn’t bring it into the house. I’ve sat there in tears begging him not to bring it into the house, and then he does anyway. Last night at 2 am, utterly furious, I told my husband that next time he brings more than one evening’s portion into the house at a time, I will dispose of it. I will not allow it to remain.
I hate that there are certain things over which I apparently have no control. But keeping them out of the house DOES work. I just can’t get my husband to do that. It makes me want to cry – or hit him with a 2 by 4.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Splitting Headache and Eating Out
I slept in this morning, having woken up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache. Punishment for having a second beer last night???? Despite that, I did walk 2 miles this morning. Joking aside, I think it’s weather related as my sinuses feel pretty clogged today. But I’m glad I got my walk in.
We had a coupon for a free dinner at Seoul Garden which we used last night. Have you ever heard someone say “I love Italian (for example) food so much. I could live on it!” And you think “Yeah, right.” Well, I did live on Korean food when I lived in Hawaii, sushi and field exercises aside. And hub moonlighted for several years as a bouncer at a Korean club in DC, so he’s all about it too.
We both ordered bulgogi, which is like a grilled teriyaki beef dish – really good. The thing I love about Korean restaurants is that your dinner comes “pan chan” – with all these little bowls of different kinds of kim che, veggies, fish cake – usually 5 or 6 bowls of different stuff. Hub doesn’t like the traditional cabbage kim che, so I get it all to myself! I don’t think you’re supposed to wolf down the veggies while waiting for dinner, but we always do.
It was a super healthy dinner and we both really enjoyed the mid-week (almost mid-week) break. Veggies, grilled lean meat, and I did not eat all my rice. I think steamed white rice is the perfect starch. Any place where McDonald's offers steamed rice with breakfast is cool with me.
Typically I would order “chi ghe” – that is Korean for “nuclear stew.” Often I have seen chi ghe served in stone bowls with a lid. These bowls are placed into a river of molten lava, so that when your stew arrives it is literally boiling hot. Like, still doing a rolling boil in the bowl.
The stew itself is red due to all the peppers in it. Red broth, red-crusted ingredients. It usually contains some meat, tofu, kim che, other veggies etc. Some places let you specify how hot you want it. If you need it mild, don’t order it. Mild chi ghe is still nuclear. Also, don’t tick off your waitress before she brings it. She will very likely go to the back, pull out the pot they are cooking for their dinner, and serve you some of that as punishment. It will be so spicy the inside of your mouth will disintegrate, but you will have to eat it all with a smile or lose face after arguing with her when she asserts “White people no eat chi ghe.” Ask me how I know this.
But it was too hot to eat chi ghe, so I had bulgogi. They brought lettuce leaves to make wraps. I have never seen that before. So I don’t know if that’s traditional or not.
I sure do talk about food a lot. No wonder I’m overweight!
I did have a second beer while watching the end of “Rose Red” (pretty good flick, but I wish they had gotten into the characters more). But no munchies to go with it – so not too bad. We needed a night to eat a nice meal together & go home & die on the sofa. Hub worked late & I had errands to run after work, so we were spent. Back to the salt mines tonight – front lawn needs cutting and the kitchen needs to be bombed. Er, cleaned.
I slept in this morning, having woken up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache. Punishment for having a second beer last night???? Despite that, I did walk 2 miles this morning. Joking aside, I think it’s weather related as my sinuses feel pretty clogged today. But I’m glad I got my walk in.
We had a coupon for a free dinner at Seoul Garden which we used last night. Have you ever heard someone say “I love Italian (for example) food so much. I could live on it!” And you think “Yeah, right.” Well, I did live on Korean food when I lived in Hawaii, sushi and field exercises aside. And hub moonlighted for several years as a bouncer at a Korean club in DC, so he’s all about it too.
We both ordered bulgogi, which is like a grilled teriyaki beef dish – really good. The thing I love about Korean restaurants is that your dinner comes “pan chan” – with all these little bowls of different kinds of kim che, veggies, fish cake – usually 5 or 6 bowls of different stuff. Hub doesn’t like the traditional cabbage kim che, so I get it all to myself! I don’t think you’re supposed to wolf down the veggies while waiting for dinner, but we always do.
It was a super healthy dinner and we both really enjoyed the mid-week (almost mid-week) break. Veggies, grilled lean meat, and I did not eat all my rice. I think steamed white rice is the perfect starch. Any place where McDonald's offers steamed rice with breakfast is cool with me.
Typically I would order “chi ghe” – that is Korean for “nuclear stew.” Often I have seen chi ghe served in stone bowls with a lid. These bowls are placed into a river of molten lava, so that when your stew arrives it is literally boiling hot. Like, still doing a rolling boil in the bowl.
The stew itself is red due to all the peppers in it. Red broth, red-crusted ingredients. It usually contains some meat, tofu, kim che, other veggies etc. Some places let you specify how hot you want it. If you need it mild, don’t order it. Mild chi ghe is still nuclear. Also, don’t tick off your waitress before she brings it. She will very likely go to the back, pull out the pot they are cooking for their dinner, and serve you some of that as punishment. It will be so spicy the inside of your mouth will disintegrate, but you will have to eat it all with a smile or lose face after arguing with her when she asserts “White people no eat chi ghe.” Ask me how I know this.
But it was too hot to eat chi ghe, so I had bulgogi. They brought lettuce leaves to make wraps. I have never seen that before. So I don’t know if that’s traditional or not.
I sure do talk about food a lot. No wonder I’m overweight!
I did have a second beer while watching the end of “Rose Red” (pretty good flick, but I wish they had gotten into the characters more). But no munchies to go with it – so not too bad. We needed a night to eat a nice meal together & go home & die on the sofa. Hub worked late & I had errands to run after work, so we were spent. Back to the salt mines tonight – front lawn needs cutting and the kitchen needs to be bombed. Er, cleaned.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Dangerous Liasons
I don't know how to break the news, but I've been seeing other vending machines.
I'm not one to visit the vending machine often - an occasional meeting every 2 weeks or so. But today, oh today I really wanted some buffalo pretzels (crack must be the main ingredient). Not seeing any in my first floor vending machine, I grabbed my wallet and went hiking. I found some, but the vending machine wanted exact change. How rude! I of course came all the way back to my desk, rooted around for change, and went back.
What is sitting in my lunchbox is worth 135 calories. What I ate had 280 calories. So I can either skip my evening snack (as if!), eat less dinner, or burn 150 calories on the dreadmill. Where are my running shoes??????
I don't know how to break the news, but I've been seeing other vending machines.
I'm not one to visit the vending machine often - an occasional meeting every 2 weeks or so. But today, oh today I really wanted some buffalo pretzels (crack must be the main ingredient). Not seeing any in my first floor vending machine, I grabbed my wallet and went hiking. I found some, but the vending machine wanted exact change. How rude! I of course came all the way back to my desk, rooted around for change, and went back.
What is sitting in my lunchbox is worth 135 calories. What I ate had 280 calories. So I can either skip my evening snack (as if!), eat less dinner, or burn 150 calories on the dreadmill. Where are my running shoes??????
Another Good Run
Good morning! I dragged my butt out of bed for an excellent 3 miler this morning. The cooler weather (only 90!) seems to be helping. Although my afternoon bike ride yesterday did not go well. I think the air quality is still too poor for me to be outside exercising in the afternoon. So, mornings it is.
I am trying to give to give myself a little "snack" every evening while we are watching tv. Sometimes I want more, but I remind myself that I can have more - tomorrow night. Knowing I don't have to wait until the weekend and doling it out a little at a time seems to be working.
Last night we made the valences for the boy's room - they look good! And we watched some more "Rose Red". I think we'll finish tonight - it was a mini-series. I'm enjoying it, but it is long enough that it has to be spread out over several nights.
I made stir fry for dinner last night - that was really good. Hub picked up some hot & sour soup to go with it. So that was a very tasty & very healthy dinner. Not cooking much this week. Taking a break from it until school starts back up. So, I'm sticking to simple stuff.
Tonight is lifting weights.
Good morning! I dragged my butt out of bed for an excellent 3 miler this morning. The cooler weather (only 90!) seems to be helping. Although my afternoon bike ride yesterday did not go well. I think the air quality is still too poor for me to be outside exercising in the afternoon. So, mornings it is.
I am trying to give to give myself a little "snack" every evening while we are watching tv. Sometimes I want more, but I remind myself that I can have more - tomorrow night. Knowing I don't have to wait until the weekend and doling it out a little at a time seems to be working.
Last night we made the valences for the boy's room - they look good! And we watched some more "Rose Red". I think we'll finish tonight - it was a mini-series. I'm enjoying it, but it is long enough that it has to be spread out over several nights.
I made stir fry for dinner last night - that was really good. Hub picked up some hot & sour soup to go with it. So that was a very tasty & very healthy dinner. Not cooking much this week. Taking a break from it until school starts back up. So, I'm sticking to simple stuff.
Tonight is lifting weights.
Monday, August 01, 2005
Neca’s “I Need Chocolate” Muffins
I made this recipe up this weekend. These are healthy enough for breakfast, but decadent enough to fill in when the only thing keeping you from re-enacting a scene from “The Road Warrior” with your minivan is some chocolate!
1 c + 2 T buttermilk
1 c oats
½ c packed brown sugar
¼ c splenda
½ c oat bran flour
½ c whole wheat flour
½ c cocoa powder
½ t salt
1 ½ t baking powder
½ t baking soda
snack cup apple sauce (1/3 c I think)
3 T mini chocolate chips
2 oz chopped nuts (optional)
Note: You can use any kind of flour – I used this to up the fiber.
Pour buttermilk over oats & let stand for 5 minutes.
Stir in the egg, sugar, splenda, & cocoa powder.
Next add apple sauce, then all dry ingredients but flour. Then add flour & mix.
Add nuts & chips last.
Spoon into 12 muffin cups & bake at 400 degrees for 18 minutes.
I made this recipe up this weekend. These are healthy enough for breakfast, but decadent enough to fill in when the only thing keeping you from re-enacting a scene from “The Road Warrior” with your minivan is some chocolate!
1 c + 2 T buttermilk
1 c oats
½ c packed brown sugar
¼ c splenda
½ c oat bran flour
½ c whole wheat flour
½ c cocoa powder
½ t salt
1 ½ t baking powder
½ t baking soda
snack cup apple sauce (1/3 c I think)
3 T mini chocolate chips
2 oz chopped nuts (optional)
Note: You can use any kind of flour – I used this to up the fiber.
Pour buttermilk over oats & let stand for 5 minutes.
Stir in the egg, sugar, splenda, & cocoa powder.
Next add apple sauce, then all dry ingredients but flour. Then add flour & mix.
Add nuts & chips last.
Spoon into 12 muffin cups & bake at 400 degrees for 18 minutes.
No Chain
I dunno the running equivalent for that cycling phrase, but that was my Saturday run. 5 miles of effortless joy. Reasonable eating this weekend - not always the healthiest choice, but moderation in all choices. Didn't get to ride yesterday - it rained all day! :-( Gonna try again after work today.
I'll post more later. Just wanted to thank you for the comments. For the record, I weigh once a week on Fridays. I try not to be a slave to the scale, but sometimes I do let it get me down. I weighed this morning and was down those 2 pounds. Still have plenty of work to do (14 pounds or so), but that reinforced what I knew Friday: water weight.
It's not so much the scale, it's that despite my best efforts, I haven't beaten this emotional eating thing. I'm beginning to think I'll never really beat it - just get it mostly under control. On the plus side, I don't have to worry about getting a DWI after scoring a 6 pack of ice cream treats. *lol*
I dunno the running equivalent for that cycling phrase, but that was my Saturday run. 5 miles of effortless joy. Reasonable eating this weekend - not always the healthiest choice, but moderation in all choices. Didn't get to ride yesterday - it rained all day! :-( Gonna try again after work today.
I'll post more later. Just wanted to thank you for the comments. For the record, I weigh once a week on Fridays. I try not to be a slave to the scale, but sometimes I do let it get me down. I weighed this morning and was down those 2 pounds. Still have plenty of work to do (14 pounds or so), but that reinforced what I knew Friday: water weight.
It's not so much the scale, it's that despite my best efforts, I haven't beaten this emotional eating thing. I'm beginning to think I'll never really beat it - just get it mostly under control. On the plus side, I don't have to worry about getting a DWI after scoring a 6 pack of ice cream treats. *lol*
Friday, July 29, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
The reason for all that angst-ridden mid-life crisis stuff of last weekend.
Stupid hormones. I should have looked at my calendar.
2 days without cardio. I felt lousy (see above) yesterday. I did the toughest chest & back workout I’ve done in forever (it was awesome!), but I had nothing left for spinning class. So I went home & read a book. Thank heavens for 800 mg Motrin.
Weights are excellent, cardio is slacking a bit (must fix that). Food is good. Attitude improving. Which is pretty amazing since my dog is on a new liver medicine which is $100 a month. People! I thought about asking the vet if he could write the prescription for my son so I could use my prescription card *smirk*. Hopefully it’s a temporary measure. Am I the only one that feels like the working middle class of this country can never catch a break?
Things that make me happy today (in no particular order):
1) I can still read cyclingnews.com to find out how Jan does at the tour of Germany!
2) My Chihuahua who lets me clutch her like a teddy bear when I wake up from a bad dream.
3) 800 mg Motrin
4) Books
5) A nice gas grill that my hubby knows how to use. It may be the only cooking the man can do, but he’ll get out there in the snow to make a nice steak!
6) A garden tub (aka “the command center”) in my bathroom
7) Sugar free fudgecicles
8) The best mom in the world
9) My husband at least got half the money his evil former boss owed him.
10) It’s a mere 88 degrees today. I thought I was going to melt yesterday at 103!
11) Lack of buffalo pretzel bites in the vending machine. Someone knew that yesterday I would have purcahsed 5 bags and called them my 5 "mini-meals".
Stupid hormones. I should have looked at my calendar.
2 days without cardio. I felt lousy (see above) yesterday. I did the toughest chest & back workout I’ve done in forever (it was awesome!), but I had nothing left for spinning class. So I went home & read a book. Thank heavens for 800 mg Motrin.
Weights are excellent, cardio is slacking a bit (must fix that). Food is good. Attitude improving. Which is pretty amazing since my dog is on a new liver medicine which is $100 a month. People! I thought about asking the vet if he could write the prescription for my son so I could use my prescription card *smirk*. Hopefully it’s a temporary measure. Am I the only one that feels like the working middle class of this country can never catch a break?
Things that make me happy today (in no particular order):
1) I can still read cyclingnews.com to find out how Jan does at the tour of Germany!
2) My Chihuahua who lets me clutch her like a teddy bear when I wake up from a bad dream.
3) 800 mg Motrin
4) Books
5) A nice gas grill that my hubby knows how to use. It may be the only cooking the man can do, but he’ll get out there in the snow to make a nice steak!
6) A garden tub (aka “the command center”) in my bathroom
7) Sugar free fudgecicles
8) The best mom in the world
9) My husband at least got half the money his evil former boss owed him.
10) It’s a mere 88 degrees today. I thought I was going to melt yesterday at 103!
11) Lack of buffalo pretzel bites in the vending machine. Someone knew that yesterday I would have purcahsed 5 bags and called them my 5 "mini-meals".
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
“Fake it till you make it” – and some meal ideas
Renee summed it up perfectly in my comments – and that’s what I’m doing. I’m eating healthy, exercising, and trying not to be bitter that the rest of the country gets to eat deep fried twinkies. (For the record, that sounds gross, and most people LOOK like they go around eating deep fried twinkies.)
Last night we went to the gym for weights (I did arms). Hub was done, so rather than make him wait while I did the elliptical I walked 2 miles at 8 pm last night – it was a tad bit cooler but just as muggy. The heat is supposed to break tomorrow. Exercise and eating: check. Hub is grilling a healthy meal tonight while I go to the gym for chest & back & spinning class.
Attitude, improving. I think it’s the combination of let-down after being so wrapped up in cycling for the past couple of months, and the realization that I’ll never be rich, famous, win a nobel prize in economics, or write a best selling novel. I guess I’ll have to settle for being a good parent & wife & employee & daughter. That doesn’t sound too bad. :-)
I don’t know about you, but in the summer I’m not much of one for cooking. Here’s some simple stuff we’ve eaten this week, in case you are curious or need ideas.
Monday: did some of those Gorton’s frozen “grilled fillets” in the toaster oven (it was too hot to use the big oven). Added some grilled shrimp & grilled veggies.
Grilled vegetables: Zucchini, onions, mushrooms, squash, bell pepper – add either Italian dressing or just a little olive oil& vinegar. YUM!
Tuesday: Quickie red beans & rice, with salad. This is as easy as you want it to be. You can simply heat a can of red beans, adding onion & garlic powder and some Cajun seasoning. Last night I went a little fancier: I sautéed onion, bell pepper, garlic, & celery. Then added some diced light turkey kielbasa (you can also use veggie crumbles or diced chicken), the beans, and Cajun seasoning blend. Serve over rice you picked up from the Chinese place on the way home (just don’t get anything else while you’re there!!)
Tonight hub is grilling some chicken breasts (aren’t boneless skinless chicken breasts a godsend?), vegetables, and corn.
As you can see, the name of the game this week is “Don’t use the kitchen”.
Renee summed it up perfectly in my comments – and that’s what I’m doing. I’m eating healthy, exercising, and trying not to be bitter that the rest of the country gets to eat deep fried twinkies. (For the record, that sounds gross, and most people LOOK like they go around eating deep fried twinkies.)
Last night we went to the gym for weights (I did arms). Hub was done, so rather than make him wait while I did the elliptical I walked 2 miles at 8 pm last night – it was a tad bit cooler but just as muggy. The heat is supposed to break tomorrow. Exercise and eating: check. Hub is grilling a healthy meal tonight while I go to the gym for chest & back & spinning class.
Attitude, improving. I think it’s the combination of let-down after being so wrapped up in cycling for the past couple of months, and the realization that I’ll never be rich, famous, win a nobel prize in economics, or write a best selling novel. I guess I’ll have to settle for being a good parent & wife & employee & daughter. That doesn’t sound too bad. :-)
I don’t know about you, but in the summer I’m not much of one for cooking. Here’s some simple stuff we’ve eaten this week, in case you are curious or need ideas.
Monday: did some of those Gorton’s frozen “grilled fillets” in the toaster oven (it was too hot to use the big oven). Added some grilled shrimp & grilled veggies.
Grilled vegetables: Zucchini, onions, mushrooms, squash, bell pepper – add either Italian dressing or just a little olive oil& vinegar. YUM!
Tuesday: Quickie red beans & rice, with salad. This is as easy as you want it to be. You can simply heat a can of red beans, adding onion & garlic powder and some Cajun seasoning. Last night I went a little fancier: I sautéed onion, bell pepper, garlic, & celery. Then added some diced light turkey kielbasa (you can also use veggie crumbles or diced chicken), the beans, and Cajun seasoning blend. Serve over rice you picked up from the Chinese place on the way home (just don’t get anything else while you’re there!!)
Tonight hub is grilling some chicken breasts (aren’t boneless skinless chicken breasts a godsend?), vegetables, and corn.
As you can see, the name of the game this week is “Don’t use the kitchen”.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Like a salmon swimming upstream
If my attitude were a stream, I’d be the salmon fighting against the current. Everything wants to be about lethargy – “Why go to the gym? Drink a beer on the sofa instead” is the evil chant I hear in my head. I know that doing that won’t get me what I want. So I frantically fight my way against the current of ennui. Why do I suffer this unfocused sense of dissatisfaction?
On the plus side, I walked roughly 5 miles yesterday, ate healthy foods, and finished the housework left from the weekend. Tonight I am going to the gym with hubby, and I will do the elliptical while I am there. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed by life, the universe, & everything. It’ll pass I know. We can’t always feel chipper & empowered, but doesn’t it stink when we don’t? :-)
If my attitude were a stream, I’d be the salmon fighting against the current. Everything wants to be about lethargy – “Why go to the gym? Drink a beer on the sofa instead” is the evil chant I hear in my head. I know that doing that won’t get me what I want. So I frantically fight my way against the current of ennui. Why do I suffer this unfocused sense of dissatisfaction?
On the plus side, I walked roughly 5 miles yesterday, ate healthy foods, and finished the housework left from the weekend. Tonight I am going to the gym with hubby, and I will do the elliptical while I am there. I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed by life, the universe, & everything. It’ll pass I know. We can’t always feel chipper & empowered, but doesn’t it stink when we don’t? :-)
Monday, July 25, 2005
Monday Monday
Blah blah blah. The room came out great – everything is done except the valences. I ran out of steam, & spent yesterday afternoon watching movies with the hubby.
I am proud of what we accomplished in the boy’s room. He worked really hard and did a great job of picking out the fabric, paint, etc. I will post pics once I get them.
I am disappointed that I didn’t make better food choices & get in a bit more exercise. Although I did go for a 7 mile bike ride to test out the new front fork & new tires. Very nice! I also got a new seat, but haven’t tried it out yet. The sheets were too soft yesterday.
As far as fitness & nutrition go, I feel like I’m trapped in a holding pattern of mediocrity.
Blah blah blah. The room came out great – everything is done except the valences. I ran out of steam, & spent yesterday afternoon watching movies with the hubby.
I am proud of what we accomplished in the boy’s room. He worked really hard and did a great job of picking out the fabric, paint, etc. I will post pics once I get them.
I am disappointed that I didn’t make better food choices & get in a bit more exercise. Although I did go for a 7 mile bike ride to test out the new front fork & new tires. Very nice! I also got a new seat, but haven’t tried it out yet. The sheets were too soft yesterday.
As far as fitness & nutrition go, I feel like I’m trapped in a holding pattern of mediocrity.
Friday, July 22, 2005
I’m okay!
Inadvertent day off home with sick child. Two episodes of poor food choices, due to $$ stress. No “free” meals this weekend for you, chubs. Hub is having to drive out of town to his former employer, because they have not sent his final paycheck. They’ve said “the check’s in the mail” for a month, and they are gonna have one very unhappy linebacker looking Indian on their doorstep this afternoon!
I seriously doubt I will ever get to the point where stress doesn’t make me want to jump into a vat of cheese dip, with a tanker truck of cold beer pulled up alongside. I just manage to do it less often. Sigh.
Hey - Jan made up 36 seconds yesterday. This thing is so going down to the wire for me!
Inadvertent day off home with sick child. Two episodes of poor food choices, due to $$ stress. No “free” meals this weekend for you, chubs. Hub is having to drive out of town to his former employer, because they have not sent his final paycheck. They’ve said “the check’s in the mail” for a month, and they are gonna have one very unhappy linebacker looking Indian on their doorstep this afternoon!
I seriously doubt I will ever get to the point where stress doesn’t make me want to jump into a vat of cheese dip, with a tanker truck of cold beer pulled up alongside. I just manage to do it less often. Sigh.
Hey - Jan made up 36 seconds yesterday. This thing is so going down to the wire for me!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Behold the power of eggs (and other random thoughts)
I’ve noticed that when I eat oatmeal I get really hungry by my morning snack, and am hungry again by lunch. But a couple of eggs chopped up with mustard and a dab of light mayo put the kaibosh on morning hunger, although I do still need that AM snack. Eggs, you are my friend.
If you are reading this, I have a bone to pick with you. Why hasn’t anyone told me about the amazing culinary miracle that is cocoa powder? If I’m hungry before heading to the gym, a glass of milk is a favorite. I wanted chocolate milk yesterday, so I added 1 T of cocoa powder (20 calories) and a packet of splenda to my milk. It was like dark chocolate milk. Yum! Forget about expensive instant cocoa packets this winter. Why have y’all been holding out on me & not telling me about this stuff? And I thought it was just for baking!
Although my toenails are no longer painted T-Mobile pink, I am wearing my Eiffel tower earrings. Which I picked up on a certain very special July weekend, in Paris, in 1991.
I am signed up for spinning class tonight. My husband has announced his intention to go test drive his new shorts by going for a bike ride. Hurray!!!! And he went to the gym with me last night to lift weights. It makes me so happy to see him taking an interest in his fitness.
I feel chubby this morning. I hate that. Also, running this morning was miserable. No breeze, just muck. Ugh.
Renee writes some really great, thought provoking stuff over at her blog. Some writers act as if you talk about the cultural challenges to losing weight, you aren’t taking personal responsibility. I think that’s crap. Does the cashier at BK put a gun to my head & make me eat there? No. But their marketing team tries their very best to convince me to eat there, usually in the evenings when I’m tired & my defenses are down.
If America were a party, we’d be a big family reunion, with tables groaning under the weight of homemade desserts & fried catfish & potato salad etc. And your Aunt Mable would be following you around all day saying stuff like “Don’t you want to try the peach cobbler? I know it was your favorite when you were little. I made it just for you. Don’t you love me??”
Corporate America plays on 2 common (although unattractive) human traits: our desire for instant gratification, and a bizarre sense of entitlement. We all suffer from it to varying degrees, and they play on it. “You work hard. You deserve to let us cook your favorite fried chicken for you.” Doesn’t mean we have to give in to it, but it does make things tough at times.
Right now I am listening to the Pussycat Dolls “Don’t Cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” Mmmm – that’s the kind of attitude I need to cultivate! *lol*
I’ve noticed that when I eat oatmeal I get really hungry by my morning snack, and am hungry again by lunch. But a couple of eggs chopped up with mustard and a dab of light mayo put the kaibosh on morning hunger, although I do still need that AM snack. Eggs, you are my friend.
If you are reading this, I have a bone to pick with you. Why hasn’t anyone told me about the amazing culinary miracle that is cocoa powder? If I’m hungry before heading to the gym, a glass of milk is a favorite. I wanted chocolate milk yesterday, so I added 1 T of cocoa powder (20 calories) and a packet of splenda to my milk. It was like dark chocolate milk. Yum! Forget about expensive instant cocoa packets this winter. Why have y’all been holding out on me & not telling me about this stuff? And I thought it was just for baking!
Although my toenails are no longer painted T-Mobile pink, I am wearing my Eiffel tower earrings. Which I picked up on a certain very special July weekend, in Paris, in 1991.
I am signed up for spinning class tonight. My husband has announced his intention to go test drive his new shorts by going for a bike ride. Hurray!!!! And he went to the gym with me last night to lift weights. It makes me so happy to see him taking an interest in his fitness.
I feel chubby this morning. I hate that. Also, running this morning was miserable. No breeze, just muck. Ugh.
Renee writes some really great, thought provoking stuff over at her blog. Some writers act as if you talk about the cultural challenges to losing weight, you aren’t taking personal responsibility. I think that’s crap. Does the cashier at BK put a gun to my head & make me eat there? No. But their marketing team tries their very best to convince me to eat there, usually in the evenings when I’m tired & my defenses are down.
If America were a party, we’d be a big family reunion, with tables groaning under the weight of homemade desserts & fried catfish & potato salad etc. And your Aunt Mable would be following you around all day saying stuff like “Don’t you want to try the peach cobbler? I know it was your favorite when you were little. I made it just for you. Don’t you love me??”
Corporate America plays on 2 common (although unattractive) human traits: our desire for instant gratification, and a bizarre sense of entitlement. We all suffer from it to varying degrees, and they play on it. “You work hard. You deserve to let us cook your favorite fried chicken for you.” Doesn’t mean we have to give in to it, but it does make things tough at times.
Right now I am listening to the Pussycat Dolls “Don’t Cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” Mmmm – that’s the kind of attitude I need to cultivate! *lol*
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
The nuts & bolts of fat loss
First of all, I love the article over at Renee’s (it's a few items down). In a nutshell, the philosophy is “live like a thin person and your body will follow”. This is the same concept Fred uses in his book (his blog, onefatman, was one of the first I ever read). So I’m trying it. When I go to spinning, I don’t lament that I’m the chunkiest one there. I try to notice the good muscle tone when I’m lifting. I think to myself “If I were maintaining 130 would I eat this?”
Hub needs to do some work on my bike. He has offered to replace my tires with road tires & remove my front shocks. Thus, turning my hybrid a little more “road” bike-esque. In the meantime, I am going to spinning, which is good. I think my cardio was a little too low intensity. Judging from my heart rate & sweatiness, this isn’t a problem with cycling. So, more cycling & less walking.
I had a fabulous 5 mile run Sunday morning. I haven’t written much about running lately because I had gotten a little ho-hum about it. When that happens, I drop back & just do my personal minimum until I get fired up again. Which always happens.
My new cycling shorts came yesterday. They are plain black, which will be perfect with my T-Mobile jersey I plan to get for myself for Christmas. :-)
Food is going well. I’m proud to say I had exactly one beer this entire past weekend (after the week before, I needed a break!). Planned out some yummy dinners for this week – last night was salmon patties, sautéed zucchini, & baked tomatoes. YUM! Food is on target and physically I always feel better when that is the case.
Nothing terribly exciting, but doing the right thing tends to be a series of small steps in the right direction, with a couple of mis-steps from time to time.
First of all, I love the article over at Renee’s (it's a few items down). In a nutshell, the philosophy is “live like a thin person and your body will follow”. This is the same concept Fred uses in his book (his blog, onefatman, was one of the first I ever read). So I’m trying it. When I go to spinning, I don’t lament that I’m the chunkiest one there. I try to notice the good muscle tone when I’m lifting. I think to myself “If I were maintaining 130 would I eat this?”
Hub needs to do some work on my bike. He has offered to replace my tires with road tires & remove my front shocks. Thus, turning my hybrid a little more “road” bike-esque. In the meantime, I am going to spinning, which is good. I think my cardio was a little too low intensity. Judging from my heart rate & sweatiness, this isn’t a problem with cycling. So, more cycling & less walking.
I had a fabulous 5 mile run Sunday morning. I haven’t written much about running lately because I had gotten a little ho-hum about it. When that happens, I drop back & just do my personal minimum until I get fired up again. Which always happens.
My new cycling shorts came yesterday. They are plain black, which will be perfect with my T-Mobile jersey I plan to get for myself for Christmas. :-)
Food is going well. I’m proud to say I had exactly one beer this entire past weekend (after the week before, I needed a break!). Planned out some yummy dinners for this week – last night was salmon patties, sautéed zucchini, & baked tomatoes. YUM! Food is on target and physically I always feel better when that is the case.
Nothing terribly exciting, but doing the right thing tends to be a series of small steps in the right direction, with a couple of mis-steps from time to time.
Monday, July 18, 2005
The weekend and the post I didn’t post
First the weekend:
Wow! What a relaxing weekend. I spent time getting my house in order (literally – it had gotten a little messy for me). I use the Flylady sytem when it gets bad - clean for 15 & break for 15 until it’s done. I watched an entire dvd of “Forever Knight” episodes (5 episodes I think) 15 minutes at a time. Shopping done, house clean, cooking done, son’s curtains and tie-backs cut out. Woo hoo! And T de F watched of course.
Food and exercise were also good. Mostly healthy food, reasonable portions, plenty of exercise. Saturday I lifted weights and took a spinning class, Sunday I ran 5 miles (AM) and rode my bike (PM).
Things that make me happy:
Sugar free popsicles. At 12.5 cents each, these are a wonderful summer treat. At 15 calories each, they are a guilt free summer treat. My new “crack.”
The old guy by the door at the Y saying to me “What a wonderful smile” as I left class. He made my day.
The friendly guy in line behind me at the cafeteria Saturday night. And their yummy turnip greens.
My bicycle.
My MP3 player – because who can’t help but run faster when listening to “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen?
There are plenty more, but that’ll do for now.
The post I didn’t post
I had a post in my head Friday, which I didn’t post due to time limitations. Now I’m glad I didn’t. Saturday morning I went to the gym, lifted weights, and then did spinning class. As I was leaving, there was an old man sitting by the door (like my grandpa’s age). He said “Nice smile” as I walked by. I said thank you and he replied “You’ve got it all.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. My first thought was “yes”. My second thought was “No – I don’t have Jan Ullrich scrubbing my kitchen floor wearing nothing but a thong.” (Because a man that does housework is the sexiest!). Then I realized that even though there I things I might want that I don’t have, I do have everything that matters. That sureness has remained with me ever since.
My mom’s dad was raised by his grandparents. His parents divorced (in like 1917 – I’m amazed it was legal!) and his mom worked in a textile mill. She later re-married, but he always lived with his grandparents. I can’t understand what it was to grow up in those circumstances in that time. Maybe it was easier – his grandparents were good people, he had happy childhood memories, and maybe people didn’t obsess over their angst as much back then. I don’t know.
But I do know that he never allowed self-pity to take over his life. And he never let fear hold him back from doing the things he wanted, or having a family, or being a terrific dad and granddad. He was not “damaged” by that experience.
Then I compare that to my dad & his mom, both of whom have allowed their childhoods to warp them in some terrible way. Both prefer to cast themselves as the perpetual victim, saying poor me, and never taking any personal responsibility for actions in relationships after they became adults. They find being the victim and living in that fear better than admitting to mistakes and accepting responsibility. How pitiful. Did you hate Gollum or pity him? Or a little of both?
To no one’s surprise, my dad wrote me back and said that family didn’t mean much to him and he had no interest in having a relationship with his only grandchild. I had a fairly bitter post lined up Friday. But when I really thought about it, I remembered that I have vowed to not be the 3rd generation to fall into that trap. Yes, I am mad at my dad. It’s hard to juggle all the things in life, but that doesn’t mean the children from your first marriage should be considered disposable when it gets to be tough. What he has done makes me angry, and hurt. But mostly I feel sorry for him. He’s the big loser here – not me, and not my son. How pathetic that at nearly 60 he cannot say “I’m sorry”. How miserable his life must be to forever carry a burden he refuses to release.
First the weekend:
Wow! What a relaxing weekend. I spent time getting my house in order (literally – it had gotten a little messy for me). I use the Flylady sytem when it gets bad - clean for 15 & break for 15 until it’s done. I watched an entire dvd of “Forever Knight” episodes (5 episodes I think) 15 minutes at a time. Shopping done, house clean, cooking done, son’s curtains and tie-backs cut out. Woo hoo! And T de F watched of course.
Food and exercise were also good. Mostly healthy food, reasonable portions, plenty of exercise. Saturday I lifted weights and took a spinning class, Sunday I ran 5 miles (AM) and rode my bike (PM).
Things that make me happy:
Sugar free popsicles. At 12.5 cents each, these are a wonderful summer treat. At 15 calories each, they are a guilt free summer treat. My new “crack.”
The old guy by the door at the Y saying to me “What a wonderful smile” as I left class. He made my day.
The friendly guy in line behind me at the cafeteria Saturday night. And their yummy turnip greens.
My bicycle.
My MP3 player – because who can’t help but run faster when listening to “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen?
There are plenty more, but that’ll do for now.
The post I didn’t post
I had a post in my head Friday, which I didn’t post due to time limitations. Now I’m glad I didn’t. Saturday morning I went to the gym, lifted weights, and then did spinning class. As I was leaving, there was an old man sitting by the door (like my grandpa’s age). He said “Nice smile” as I walked by. I said thank you and he replied “You’ve got it all.” That hit me like a ton of bricks. My first thought was “yes”. My second thought was “No – I don’t have Jan Ullrich scrubbing my kitchen floor wearing nothing but a thong.” (Because a man that does housework is the sexiest!). Then I realized that even though there I things I might want that I don’t have, I do have everything that matters. That sureness has remained with me ever since.
My mom’s dad was raised by his grandparents. His parents divorced (in like 1917 – I’m amazed it was legal!) and his mom worked in a textile mill. She later re-married, but he always lived with his grandparents. I can’t understand what it was to grow up in those circumstances in that time. Maybe it was easier – his grandparents were good people, he had happy childhood memories, and maybe people didn’t obsess over their angst as much back then. I don’t know.
But I do know that he never allowed self-pity to take over his life. And he never let fear hold him back from doing the things he wanted, or having a family, or being a terrific dad and granddad. He was not “damaged” by that experience.
Then I compare that to my dad & his mom, both of whom have allowed their childhoods to warp them in some terrible way. Both prefer to cast themselves as the perpetual victim, saying poor me, and never taking any personal responsibility for actions in relationships after they became adults. They find being the victim and living in that fear better than admitting to mistakes and accepting responsibility. How pitiful. Did you hate Gollum or pity him? Or a little of both?
To no one’s surprise, my dad wrote me back and said that family didn’t mean much to him and he had no interest in having a relationship with his only grandchild. I had a fairly bitter post lined up Friday. But when I really thought about it, I remembered that I have vowed to not be the 3rd generation to fall into that trap. Yes, I am mad at my dad. It’s hard to juggle all the things in life, but that doesn’t mean the children from your first marriage should be considered disposable when it gets to be tough. What he has done makes me angry, and hurt. But mostly I feel sorry for him. He’s the big loser here – not me, and not my son. How pathetic that at nearly 60 he cannot say “I’m sorry”. How miserable his life must be to forever carry a burden he refuses to release.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Sailing off the side of a mountain
Did you watch the Tour yesterday? Did you see the guy, drinking out of his water bottle, and as a result, drifting to the side of the road, then off the road and into the Alpine meadow? I admit, I was laughing my a$$ off (it’s that whole German schadenfreude mentality). Not only did it give me a new motto “Friends don’t let friends drink and drift”, it got me to thinking about the last couple of days.
Remember when I said I didn’t want to go to Pa, but I didn’t want the hubby to drive alone? Well, I told him I’d go, then I immediately started to get ill. I had a migraine threatening most of the day yesterday, my face is broken out, and by last night I was so demoralized than I became the helpless victim as the alien inhabiting my body bought beer & Chinese take-out.
In short, I made a choice that was bad for me and my stress levels went through the roof, sending mind & body spiraling into oblivion. I have a ton to do, and I’m tired. But because I have no sense of balance in my life, I was going to do what was best for hubby, while downplaying what I really needed. Only my body staged a rebellion. Hub is insisting I stay home, and I am grateful.
As in so many parts of my life, I utterly lack balance. I have been married before, and frankly I can’t say I was the best wife. I’m not the best wife now either, but I try to be a good wife. And I love my husband, so sometimes I ignore what I really need. Sometimes self-sacrifice is the right thing to do, sometimes it isn’t, but I haven’t really figured out how to tell the difference. Gee, sounds a lot like my diet & exercise habits, huh?
When it was said & done, that just means I’ve already eaten 1 (of 2) of this week’s cheat meals. Done, move on. Got up and ran. Thank you that we had a thunderstorm yesterday which cleaned some of the humidity out of the air. My run actually felt pretty decent this morning.
Also, I’m not a vending machine ho, but I sure wish they would stop with the buffalo wing flavored pretzels. I’m a hot sauce fan (I own different types for different things, and I firmly believe hot sauce goes well on popcorn, pizza, and eggs – as well as most other savory foods). I had to score a bag this morning while heating my breakfast, just in case they ran out. Pitiful. At least today I will eat them in place of something, as opposed, to “in addition!” Bye bye healthy food – you’ve been bumped by buffalo pretzels. Pretzels loaded in fat. Curse you, fast food industry! Hey – maybe I’ll just save them in my drawer for a rainy day (proverbial I mean, it’s raining right now). I wonder how long I can hold out?????
I’m sad about Jens – even though I think their team acted poorly in the TT, he seems like a genuinely nice guy. It’s a bad break to get sick during the tour. Maybe their team is cursed for their poor sportsmanship – the ranks are getting thin over at CSC.
Did you watch the Tour yesterday? Did you see the guy, drinking out of his water bottle, and as a result, drifting to the side of the road, then off the road and into the Alpine meadow? I admit, I was laughing my a$$ off (it’s that whole German schadenfreude mentality). Not only did it give me a new motto “Friends don’t let friends drink and drift”, it got me to thinking about the last couple of days.
Remember when I said I didn’t want to go to Pa, but I didn’t want the hubby to drive alone? Well, I told him I’d go, then I immediately started to get ill. I had a migraine threatening most of the day yesterday, my face is broken out, and by last night I was so demoralized than I became the helpless victim as the alien inhabiting my body bought beer & Chinese take-out.
In short, I made a choice that was bad for me and my stress levels went through the roof, sending mind & body spiraling into oblivion. I have a ton to do, and I’m tired. But because I have no sense of balance in my life, I was going to do what was best for hubby, while downplaying what I really needed. Only my body staged a rebellion. Hub is insisting I stay home, and I am grateful.
As in so many parts of my life, I utterly lack balance. I have been married before, and frankly I can’t say I was the best wife. I’m not the best wife now either, but I try to be a good wife. And I love my husband, so sometimes I ignore what I really need. Sometimes self-sacrifice is the right thing to do, sometimes it isn’t, but I haven’t really figured out how to tell the difference. Gee, sounds a lot like my diet & exercise habits, huh?
When it was said & done, that just means I’ve already eaten 1 (of 2) of this week’s cheat meals. Done, move on. Got up and ran. Thank you that we had a thunderstorm yesterday which cleaned some of the humidity out of the air. My run actually felt pretty decent this morning.
Also, I’m not a vending machine ho, but I sure wish they would stop with the buffalo wing flavored pretzels. I’m a hot sauce fan (I own different types for different things, and I firmly believe hot sauce goes well on popcorn, pizza, and eggs – as well as most other savory foods). I had to score a bag this morning while heating my breakfast, just in case they ran out. Pitiful. At least today I will eat them in place of something, as opposed, to “in addition!” Bye bye healthy food – you’ve been bumped by buffalo pretzels. Pretzels loaded in fat. Curse you, fast food industry! Hey – maybe I’ll just save them in my drawer for a rainy day (proverbial I mean, it’s raining right now). I wonder how long I can hold out?????
I’m sad about Jens – even though I think their team acted poorly in the TT, he seems like a genuinely nice guy. It’s a bad break to get sick during the tour. Maybe their team is cursed for their poor sportsmanship – the ranks are getting thin over at CSC.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Is it just me?
Am I the only person that thinks with helmet and those big glasses, Rasmussen looks like an anorexic version of Michael Jackson? The guy really creeps me out.
I took a night off last night – by the time I got home I was physically tried and mentally toast. I sat in a chair. I’m feeling a little better today.
I did run 2 miles in the morning, and walk at lunch, so the day wasn’t an utter waste.
I am too tired to write anything profound, but for those of you that check, I am still alive!
Am I the only person that thinks with helmet and those big glasses, Rasmussen looks like an anorexic version of Michael Jackson? The guy really creeps me out.
I took a night off last night – by the time I got home I was physically tried and mentally toast. I sat in a chair. I’m feeling a little better today.
I did run 2 miles in the morning, and walk at lunch, so the day wasn’t an utter waste.
I am too tired to write anything profound, but for those of you that check, I am still alive!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
It’s easier to not eat it than it is to work it off
This is my new mantra. Example 1: Last night at dinner, I had made a very healthy homemade lasagna. We came in from our walk, had a nice salad, and a portion of lasagna. After eating it, I carried my plate back into the kitchen for seconds. After all, it was healthy! It had cottage cheese and veggie crumbles! I cut off a piece and thought “That’s too much”. When I checked with my stomach I realized it wasn’t the one asking for more – that was my taste buds. I put down the spatula, washed the plate, and froze the rest for another day. Yes, it would have tasted good, but I didn’t need it. The fact that it was healthy didn’t make it okay to eat to excess, you know?
Cut to this morning for example 2: I’m dropping Butch & Carmen at the vet. Since I packed my breakfast I was eating later than usual, and I had to “drive the gauntlet” past a plethora of fast food places – with my tummy rumbling. Like I’m gonna starve to death in the 15 minutes it takes to get to work from the vet – please. I kept repeating that phrase in my head. I had a healthy breakfast packed and ready – yes, being hungry is uncomfortable – but delaying breakfast 30 minutes is no reason to eat junk.
I’m not saying starve to lose weight, but I am guilty of this A LOT. Namely, I use taste, convenience, or even my fitness regime as an excuse to eat. I was guilty of this when I was running a lot – justifying my extra food as necessary because of my running. Yes we have to fuel our bodies properly for exercise. It’s a fine line to fuel for fitness and still lose weight. I erred on the side of overconsumption. I am trying to make myself aware of it and prevent it. This is a long standing problem with me. When I was pregnant, I used my need for calcium as an excuse to make myself a vanilla milkshake every night. (Isn’t that a cliche – chubby girl using pregnancy as an excuse to eat way more than necessary.)
I have taken my exercise up another notch. I have this total blasé attitude about lifting weights – until I get to the gym. Then I’m all into it. I have the opposite with cardio – running and biking are a lot more fun in my mind than they are in the miserable humidity of a southern summer. But I’m doing more of both – go figure. Hitting the gym 3 times a week is easy now – I’m still working on making 5 the new 2, but I’ve worked up to 3 as a base. I’m getting up and walking/running as usual, walking at lunch, and I’ve added walking the dogs with the hub in the evening. The dogs are happy about this turn of events!
Hub is going to Pa this weekend. I don’t want him to have to make the trip alone, but I really vehemently do not want to go. I want to stay home. Should I be a good wife & go, or stay home? He says I can do what I want. It’s a “lose lose” proposition. Ugh!
This is my new mantra. Example 1: Last night at dinner, I had made a very healthy homemade lasagna. We came in from our walk, had a nice salad, and a portion of lasagna. After eating it, I carried my plate back into the kitchen for seconds. After all, it was healthy! It had cottage cheese and veggie crumbles! I cut off a piece and thought “That’s too much”. When I checked with my stomach I realized it wasn’t the one asking for more – that was my taste buds. I put down the spatula, washed the plate, and froze the rest for another day. Yes, it would have tasted good, but I didn’t need it. The fact that it was healthy didn’t make it okay to eat to excess, you know?
Cut to this morning for example 2: I’m dropping Butch & Carmen at the vet. Since I packed my breakfast I was eating later than usual, and I had to “drive the gauntlet” past a plethora of fast food places – with my tummy rumbling. Like I’m gonna starve to death in the 15 minutes it takes to get to work from the vet – please. I kept repeating that phrase in my head. I had a healthy breakfast packed and ready – yes, being hungry is uncomfortable – but delaying breakfast 30 minutes is no reason to eat junk.
I’m not saying starve to lose weight, but I am guilty of this A LOT. Namely, I use taste, convenience, or even my fitness regime as an excuse to eat. I was guilty of this when I was running a lot – justifying my extra food as necessary because of my running. Yes we have to fuel our bodies properly for exercise. It’s a fine line to fuel for fitness and still lose weight. I erred on the side of overconsumption. I am trying to make myself aware of it and prevent it. This is a long standing problem with me. When I was pregnant, I used my need for calcium as an excuse to make myself a vanilla milkshake every night. (Isn’t that a cliche – chubby girl using pregnancy as an excuse to eat way more than necessary.)
I have taken my exercise up another notch. I have this total blasé attitude about lifting weights – until I get to the gym. Then I’m all into it. I have the opposite with cardio – running and biking are a lot more fun in my mind than they are in the miserable humidity of a southern summer. But I’m doing more of both – go figure. Hitting the gym 3 times a week is easy now – I’m still working on making 5 the new 2, but I’ve worked up to 3 as a base. I’m getting up and walking/running as usual, walking at lunch, and I’ve added walking the dogs with the hub in the evening. The dogs are happy about this turn of events!
Hub is going to Pa this weekend. I don’t want him to have to make the trip alone, but I really vehemently do not want to go. I want to stay home. Should I be a good wife & go, or stay home? He says I can do what I want. It’s a “lose lose” proposition. Ugh!
Monday, July 11, 2005
Why do I Bother Making Plans???
Nothing this weekend worked out how I planned, but it was nice anyway. I had 2 “cheat” meals – both lunches. This works well for me – for one because I feel jipped if I use all my treat food and then am faced with a treatless Sunday. And having my treats for lunch, I tend to eat less than I would at dinner, and stand a better chance of working it off since I don’t fall into a food-induced coma afterwards.
Exercise was also not what I planned, but was good. A couple of walks, lawn mowing, and a nice run. My own “inner critic” started yammering while I was walking Saturday morning “you used to run 18 miles and here you are, walking 2. That’s not exercise! You should not even bother and go home and take care of stuff for the family instead.” I never have a gag handy when I need one. I kept walking – so there, you whiny brat.
I watched the Tour (of course) – my boy Jan was looking good!
No costuming occurred as we went shopping for the stuff to re-decorate the boy’s room. He picked out the fabrics, paint, etc himself. It is going to look very nice – I will post before and after pics. It is going to have a kind of “South Seas” thing going on, but a more adult version of that theme.
It was a pretty tight weekend, but I did have time to watch a movie from Netflix “Blind Spot: Hitler’s Secretary”. It was a series of interviews with Traudl Junge, which were conducted in 2001. She was one of his final secretaries, and took the dictation for his final testaments. I thought it was very interesting. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I am an avid WWII buff – I guess because my own family came here in the late 30’s from Germany. Which is an interesting story in itself – my great grandfather was an engineer and apparently knew a lot early on about the German re-armament program because of where he worked. Anyway, he elected to leave, come to America, and tell the gov’t everything he knew about the re-armament program. I always have very ambivalent feelings about people who say they had no idea what was going on. Yes, from his job he knew Hitler planned war. But he hated Hitler for political reasons. I dunno – I wasn’t there, so I guess I can’t judge. But I find the period very interesting. And I’m glad they left, although I loved living in Germany.
Well, I guess that’s about it. I am meeting my mom & son at Earth Fare for lunch (kinda like a Whole Foods) – they have a great deli.
Nothing this weekend worked out how I planned, but it was nice anyway. I had 2 “cheat” meals – both lunches. This works well for me – for one because I feel jipped if I use all my treat food and then am faced with a treatless Sunday. And having my treats for lunch, I tend to eat less than I would at dinner, and stand a better chance of working it off since I don’t fall into a food-induced coma afterwards.
Exercise was also not what I planned, but was good. A couple of walks, lawn mowing, and a nice run. My own “inner critic” started yammering while I was walking Saturday morning “you used to run 18 miles and here you are, walking 2. That’s not exercise! You should not even bother and go home and take care of stuff for the family instead.” I never have a gag handy when I need one. I kept walking – so there, you whiny brat.
I watched the Tour (of course) – my boy Jan was looking good!
No costuming occurred as we went shopping for the stuff to re-decorate the boy’s room. He picked out the fabrics, paint, etc himself. It is going to look very nice – I will post before and after pics. It is going to have a kind of “South Seas” thing going on, but a more adult version of that theme.
It was a pretty tight weekend, but I did have time to watch a movie from Netflix “Blind Spot: Hitler’s Secretary”. It was a series of interviews with Traudl Junge, which were conducted in 2001. She was one of his final secretaries, and took the dictation for his final testaments. I thought it was very interesting. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I am an avid WWII buff – I guess because my own family came here in the late 30’s from Germany. Which is an interesting story in itself – my great grandfather was an engineer and apparently knew a lot early on about the German re-armament program because of where he worked. Anyway, he elected to leave, come to America, and tell the gov’t everything he knew about the re-armament program. I always have very ambivalent feelings about people who say they had no idea what was going on. Yes, from his job he knew Hitler planned war. But he hated Hitler for political reasons. I dunno – I wasn’t there, so I guess I can’t judge. But I find the period very interesting. And I’m glad they left, although I loved living in Germany.
Well, I guess that’s about it. I am meeting my mom & son at Earth Fare for lunch (kinda like a Whole Foods) – they have a great deli.
Friday, July 08, 2005
The best laid plans….
A little lady named Cynthia derailed my biking plans last night. She was whipping through western NC, creating flash floods and tornadoes in her path. I left work in a heck of a downpour, wondering what to do for dinner since grilling was right out!
I get home to find hub sitting on the side of the bed, all teary-eyed. On the way home on the country road I like to run on, he’d seen a dog which had been hit. He stopped, called the vet, called the owner, and comforted the dog until his people could get there. Hub didn’t think the little guy was going to make it. We are dog people, so this whole thing really tore him up. The funny part was at bedtime - the dogs knew he was upset. Butchie and Bess both climbed over to snuggle him. (Bess sleeps in bed with us, but Butchie doesn't. But he knew that hub needed extra loving.) Carmen would never dream of getting up on furniture - she's waaaay too well behaved!
Anyway, we decided to just grab something from the new Mexican place around the corner. Not a huge disaster – yes, I had to move the chip basket to keep my paw out of it, but I got grilled chicken breasts with grilled onions. It was yummy! Of course I did have a couple of beers with hub when I got home (Miller Lite you are my nemesis!).
But I was still down another pounds today – ha!
Tonight is dinner with our neighbors – Mexican, oddly enough. Tomorrow hub is off to play D&D. Looks like the weather is clearing, so plenty of opportunity for exercise, healthy eating, and sewing while watching a certain bike race on TV.
Thanks for the kinds words regarding my last post – I didn’t know G, but when these things happen it is a painful reminder that taking care of ourselves is important. Looking good in a pair of size 8 jeans would be cool, but living a long healthy life is where it’s at.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Just another day at the office
Our department admin, R, came in the front door. Sitting in a chair near the entrance was her friend, G. R asked G how she was doing, and G said she was feeling a little tired. About lunchtime, the paramedics wheeled G’s lifeless body out of our office, after she collapsed outside the ladies room. G was overweight, and suffered from diabetes and high blood pressure.
Sometimes life has a way of reminding us of our mortality, and rarely are these ways pleasant.
Our department admin, R, came in the front door. Sitting in a chair near the entrance was her friend, G. R asked G how she was doing, and G said she was feeling a little tired. About lunchtime, the paramedics wheeled G’s lifeless body out of our office, after she collapsed outside the ladies room. G was overweight, and suffered from diabetes and high blood pressure.
Sometimes life has a way of reminding us of our mortality, and rarely are these ways pleasant.
Remembering your childhood dreams
When I was a girl, I wanted to be an Air Force pilot when I grew up. This wasn’t one of those passing dreams, it started about the time I was my son’s age (10 or 11) and lasted until high school. Until I discovered that I was too little to pass the flight physical. The joys of being petite.
But this isn’t about that dream – it’s about another dream. One I had nearly forgotten, it was buried so deeply. One summer I saw the movie “Breaking Away”. I was probably 13 or 14 when I saw it. This movie is about cycling like Rocky is about boxing – it’s really about LIFE, but uses a sport as the vehicle to drive the story. I don’t recall why this movie touched me so, but it reached something locked deep inside.
I grew up in a place and time where nice girls didn’t sweat, and playing soccer was pushing the outer envelope of acceptable behavior. You weren’t supposed to suck at gym, but you weren’t supposed to enjoy it either.
But I really connected with that movie – it made me want to “break away”. I spent that summer riding my bike for miles and miles. I didn’t want to be a cyclist – I wanted to know who I was.
Life, convention, and my dad reasserted authority, and my quest to discover just who it was living inside this body was postponed for another day. Tonight after the hub and I go to the gym, I’ll get my bike out of the back, send him home to cook dinner, and do a little bit more “breaking away.”
When I was a girl, I wanted to be an Air Force pilot when I grew up. This wasn’t one of those passing dreams, it started about the time I was my son’s age (10 or 11) and lasted until high school. Until I discovered that I was too little to pass the flight physical. The joys of being petite.
But this isn’t about that dream – it’s about another dream. One I had nearly forgotten, it was buried so deeply. One summer I saw the movie “Breaking Away”. I was probably 13 or 14 when I saw it. This movie is about cycling like Rocky is about boxing – it’s really about LIFE, but uses a sport as the vehicle to drive the story. I don’t recall why this movie touched me so, but it reached something locked deep inside.
I grew up in a place and time where nice girls didn’t sweat, and playing soccer was pushing the outer envelope of acceptable behavior. You weren’t supposed to suck at gym, but you weren’t supposed to enjoy it either.
But I really connected with that movie – it made me want to “break away”. I spent that summer riding my bike for miles and miles. I didn’t want to be a cyclist – I wanted to know who I was.
Life, convention, and my dad reasserted authority, and my quest to discover just who it was living inside this body was postponed for another day. Tonight after the hub and I go to the gym, I’ll get my bike out of the back, send him home to cook dinner, and do a little bit more “breaking away.”
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Cliffhanger
I am so glad I carefully avoided all news outlets yesterday. I even squatted facing away from the TV at the gym because there was cycling news on. What an amazing race! Hub is really getting into it too, now that he understands the rules & strategies a little bit.
Nothing new to report, which is good. Yesterday: 2 mile run, walk at lunch, weight training (legs) after work. Food on track. But I was pooped for some reason, so I used my morning “pass” today (I get one a week) and slept in until 5:45! Oh the luxury! *lol* I wasn’t the only one – my husband fell asleep on the sofa – very unusual for him. Must be the heat & humidity.
I am so glad I carefully avoided all news outlets yesterday. I even squatted facing away from the TV at the gym because there was cycling news on. What an amazing race! Hub is really getting into it too, now that he understands the rules & strategies a little bit.
Nothing new to report, which is good. Yesterday: 2 mile run, walk at lunch, weight training (legs) after work. Food on track. But I was pooped for some reason, so I used my morning “pass” today (I get one a week) and slept in until 5:45! Oh the luxury! *lol* I wasn’t the only one – my husband fell asleep on the sofa – very unusual for him. Must be the heat & humidity.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Walking Tall
The good news is that I seem to have successfully integrated 3 workouts per day into my routine. (Thank you Excel, you have helped me!). I am using the word “workout” generously – “intentional movement” is probably more accurate. My morning walk or run is a workout – my evening trip to the gym is a workout. My walk at lunch with my friend isn’t really – I neither sweat nor breathe hard. But I move, which is better than nothing. That coupled with my good eating lately has me feeling a lot less puffy. So I am walking tall, feeling like I’m looking less chubby. I wish this whole process wasn’t so slow sometimes, but at least I feel like I’m moving forward again.
I have to remember not to check any news sites after 10:30 or so. I am tivo-ing the Tour every day and I don’t want the day’s stage spoiled by knowing the outcome before I watch it on tv. Especially today!
Hub is going to be gone Saturday – off to play D&D with his friends. So, home alone Saturday night. I wonder what mischief I can concoct!
The good news is that I seem to have successfully integrated 3 workouts per day into my routine. (Thank you Excel, you have helped me!). I am using the word “workout” generously – “intentional movement” is probably more accurate. My morning walk or run is a workout – my evening trip to the gym is a workout. My walk at lunch with my friend isn’t really – I neither sweat nor breathe hard. But I move, which is better than nothing. That coupled with my good eating lately has me feeling a lot less puffy. So I am walking tall, feeling like I’m looking less chubby. I wish this whole process wasn’t so slow sometimes, but at least I feel like I’m moving forward again.
I have to remember not to check any news sites after 10:30 or so. I am tivo-ing the Tour every day and I don’t want the day’s stage spoiled by knowing the outcome before I watch it on tv. Especially today!
Hub is going to be gone Saturday – off to play D&D with his friends. So, home alone Saturday night. I wonder what mischief I can concoct!
Monday, July 04, 2005
A little bit of everything
The Tour
Y’all just throw your tomatoes now (as long as they’re home grown!), but I am not rooting for Lance in the Tour, and I was really bummed Saturday. I very much want Jan Ullrich to win. There you go. Also, what a gentleman Ivan Basso must be – I loved the way he was helping Zebriski Sunday. Very cool.
The weekend
Very nice. Got stuff done (cleaning, sewing, cook-out), but still feel rested.
Workouts were great – I like my new leg workout. Nice DOMS Sunday from Friday’s leg work – just the right amount of soreness. Did an entire upper body Saturday – turns out I had to do it quickly because the gym was closing in 30 minutes. But since I had the weight room to myself I could move quickly. Ran yesterday – the humidity was a killer! I think I’ll plan to do a shorter run and then ride the bike since I can’t seem to do a long run in this weather. And I grew up here! I could’ve done more from an aerobic perspective, but I was toast because of the weather.
Food was good too. A couple of treats (beer & a piece of pie), but nothing too outrageous. Lots of good exercise – walking, running, & lifting.
Girlfight
Not the best name maybe, but an excellent movie. An indie flick made long before “Million Dollar Baby”, it’s about an inner city teenager who finds the perfect outlet for her rage in the boxing ring. Not a Cinderella story like “Rocky”, but I thought the overall message was very good. Worth renting.
Marshmallow People
I read somewhere that Europeans refer to Americans as “marshmallow people.” (Thanks to Starbuck’s and McD’s they won’t be able to talk for much longer though – ha!) I saw a family Friday that made me believe it. It was a grandma, mom, & daughter out to eat together. All were overweight. At 12-13, the daughter was well on her weigh to obesity, if not there already. Mom reminded me of a starfish – she couldn’t put her arms next to her body or her legs straight because of the weight. I can’t tell you how much it made my heart hurt. For them, but also for a country where only the cheap hot dogs go on sale. I don't want to sound "holier than thou" because I've been 50 pounds overweight (ouch). And I still struggle. I don't pretend to understand what it means to be 100+ pounds overweight, but I do have empathy. I guess I had the whole weight thing on the brain after reading this e-mail from Flylady on Friday. She had received this from a reader:
Dear Flylady,
DD and I went to Walmart yesterday, and we stopped off at McDonalds
for an ice cream cone. As we were eating our ice cream cone, this mom
comes in with her 3 children. One of the younger children had said she
wanted a plain cheeseburger. The mom had then asked her if she wanted
a plain cheeseburger or a double cheeseburger?
Now keep in mind this little one must have been 4 years old. So the
little one says that she just wants the regular one. Then the other
kids said the same thing (approximate ages for the three
girls...10,7,4). The mom tells them that the regular cheeseburger is
almost as much as the double burger ( the regular is a few cents
cheaper than a double).
The kids insist they only want a regular but the mom proceeds to buy
double cheeseburgers for everyone. At this time I am asking myself why
she is pushing all this extra food on her little kids. Yes, you get
more food for your money and I am all for getting the best deal, but a
double cheeseburger for a 4 year old??? Any way I tell myself maybe
she is going to save part of it for later (after all there has to be
an explanation for this).
Much to my dismay, she then proceeds to get upset with the little
sweetie when she says she is full and doesn't want anymore. She tells
her that she has just wasted good money and she will not be getting an
ice cream with the rest of her sisters. She started to cry and said OK
mommy I will finish it, I just couldn't believe it!
I felt like pulling that little girl aside and giving her a big hug!
My heart was just crying with her.
I just had to tell someone who would get my frustration and heartache
over this.
Talk to you later,
C
------------------------------------
How did we ever let it all get so crazy?
It’s hard – hard when we live in a place that glorifies thinness but shows fried sandwich commercials every 10 seconds on tv. Hard when more is cheaper than what we want or need. I am thankful I can come to a virtual place where I can get support and understanding. I probably would have given up a long time ago without it.
Keep blogging.
The Tour
Y’all just throw your tomatoes now (as long as they’re home grown!), but I am not rooting for Lance in the Tour, and I was really bummed Saturday. I very much want Jan Ullrich to win. There you go. Also, what a gentleman Ivan Basso must be – I loved the way he was helping Zebriski Sunday. Very cool.
The weekend
Very nice. Got stuff done (cleaning, sewing, cook-out), but still feel rested.
Workouts were great – I like my new leg workout. Nice DOMS Sunday from Friday’s leg work – just the right amount of soreness. Did an entire upper body Saturday – turns out I had to do it quickly because the gym was closing in 30 minutes. But since I had the weight room to myself I could move quickly. Ran yesterday – the humidity was a killer! I think I’ll plan to do a shorter run and then ride the bike since I can’t seem to do a long run in this weather. And I grew up here! I could’ve done more from an aerobic perspective, but I was toast because of the weather.
Food was good too. A couple of treats (beer & a piece of pie), but nothing too outrageous. Lots of good exercise – walking, running, & lifting.
Girlfight
Not the best name maybe, but an excellent movie. An indie flick made long before “Million Dollar Baby”, it’s about an inner city teenager who finds the perfect outlet for her rage in the boxing ring. Not a Cinderella story like “Rocky”, but I thought the overall message was very good. Worth renting.
Marshmallow People
I read somewhere that Europeans refer to Americans as “marshmallow people.” (Thanks to Starbuck’s and McD’s they won’t be able to talk for much longer though – ha!) I saw a family Friday that made me believe it. It was a grandma, mom, & daughter out to eat together. All were overweight. At 12-13, the daughter was well on her weigh to obesity, if not there already. Mom reminded me of a starfish – she couldn’t put her arms next to her body or her legs straight because of the weight. I can’t tell you how much it made my heart hurt. For them, but also for a country where only the cheap hot dogs go on sale. I don't want to sound "holier than thou" because I've been 50 pounds overweight (ouch). And I still struggle. I don't pretend to understand what it means to be 100+ pounds overweight, but I do have empathy. I guess I had the whole weight thing on the brain after reading this e-mail from Flylady on Friday. She had received this from a reader:
Dear Flylady,
DD and I went to Walmart yesterday, and we stopped off at McDonalds
for an ice cream cone. As we were eating our ice cream cone, this mom
comes in with her 3 children. One of the younger children had said she
wanted a plain cheeseburger. The mom had then asked her if she wanted
a plain cheeseburger or a double cheeseburger?
Now keep in mind this little one must have been 4 years old. So the
little one says that she just wants the regular one. Then the other
kids said the same thing (approximate ages for the three
girls...10,7,4). The mom tells them that the regular cheeseburger is
almost as much as the double burger ( the regular is a few cents
cheaper than a double).
The kids insist they only want a regular but the mom proceeds to buy
double cheeseburgers for everyone. At this time I am asking myself why
she is pushing all this extra food on her little kids. Yes, you get
more food for your money and I am all for getting the best deal, but a
double cheeseburger for a 4 year old??? Any way I tell myself maybe
she is going to save part of it for later (after all there has to be
an explanation for this).
Much to my dismay, she then proceeds to get upset with the little
sweetie when she says she is full and doesn't want anymore. She tells
her that she has just wasted good money and she will not be getting an
ice cream with the rest of her sisters. She started to cry and said OK
mommy I will finish it, I just couldn't believe it!
I felt like pulling that little girl aside and giving her a big hug!
My heart was just crying with her.
I just had to tell someone who would get my frustration and heartache
over this.
Talk to you later,
C
------------------------------------
How did we ever let it all get so crazy?
It’s hard – hard when we live in a place that glorifies thinness but shows fried sandwich commercials every 10 seconds on tv. Hard when more is cheaper than what we want or need. I am thankful I can come to a virtual place where I can get support and understanding. I probably would have given up a long time ago without it.
Keep blogging.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Edy’s all fruit line popsicles – they aren’t just for humans!
Yes, I shared a popsicle with my dog Carmen, who loved it! She clearly wanted to bite it, but couldn’t figure out how, so she settled for licking it. Too funny! (I'm posting a pic of Carmen).
One pound of beach fat gone. Bye bye pudge. Still 2.5 pounds over my low. Headed the right way though.
The spreadsheet has helped – I have washed my face and flossed/brushed my teeth every single night to earn my little check mark. I will reach my goal of 25 out of 30 boxes checked. My reward is some Oil of Olay eye cream. God I’m getting old!
Workouts are going good. I had a cool run this morning – fartleks, I hate/love you. Accelerated up a hill, then sprinted until my lungs cried uncle. I was mighty red-faced for “only” a 2 mile run. Lifted weights 3 times so far this week – I’m doing legs tonight and an entire upper body tomorrow afternoon. I’m going alone tonight (hub only goes 3 times per week), but we are going together tomorrow. I’ve walked/ran 4 mornings and one evening, and made all my lunchtime walks. Sunday I begin to crank up the intensity.
The part about my dad
Jank, I have to disagree. Family isn’t always there. Maybe they should be, but sadly the ideal and reality fail to align all too often.
1) When I was 10 or 11, I threatened to commit suicide. My dad told my mom he didn’t have enough money to help pay for counseling. (he was building a new house with his new wife)
2) My dad re-married when I was 10. No one knew he had a girlfriend. He mailed me a postcard to tell me.
3) When I was 11, a stranger asked his wife when she was due. (A stranger to me - he was a friend of hers). That’s how I found out I was going to be a sister.
4) When I decided to join the Army, my dad told me it was the worst decision I’d ever made and I would regret it the rest of my life. This is important because of
5) When I found out I was pregnant with my son and decided to get out of the army, my dad told me it was the worst decision I’d ever made and I would regret it for the rest of my life. And that I would wind up flipping burgers because I’d never amount to anything. And that I should get an abortion because I wasn’t competent to be a parent.
6) The last words my dad said to me were “You are the biggest disappointment of my life.”
At best my dad was thoughtless, at worst emotionally abusive. I can’t comprehend what it takes for a parent to behave that way. From what I’ve read, I bet most of you can’t. But it doesn’t mean that these people don’t procreate.
I wrote my dad because at my brother’s wedding my son didn’t know who my father was. That’s his only grandchild. I’d like for them to have a relationship – that’s why I wrote. When Father Bob asked me if I wanted a relationship beyond civility with my dad the answer I gave was no. There are friends and family you let into your circle of emotional vulnerability – you trust those people. I don’t trust my dad to have my interests in mind when he says or does anything. I don’t know him. But his track record stinks.
I’ve done what I can. Now I am working on letting that go. I have other things I need to focus on.
I am working on Monday (my choice). I’m taking a day off later in the month. Then my big vacation next month. I hope all my blogfriends have a great holiday.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Not too Hideous, all things considered
To steal a line from Jank, “Forgive me blogfather, for I have sinned…” But like the title says, I feel like I did pretty good. I forced myself to sit down and write that letter to my dad. Ouch. Plus hub had to work late, so gym was postponed until tonight. So: emotional upset + sitting home alone = disaster, right? Well, not really. Yeah, I had 2 beers and some taco chips. But that’s it! No drive into Sonic for cheese sticks (Yes, I drove by – but didn’t stop). And god knows I wanted some cheesy Mexican mess for dinner, but I had a healthy meal at home instead.
Emotionally, I feel shaky rather than strong right now. But I think a relaxing weekend at home with my family should help. I think the phrase “time heals all wounds” is a load of crap. But you know, I’ve dealt with parental rejection as a child – it should be easier as an adult. Family shouldn’t be this hard – why is it for so many of us?
Leg day is getting a re-tooling to make it more kick ass, but my 2 upper body days are in good shape. I work shoulders on both arm days – they are getting really solid.
Not only did I order new workout CDs from DJ Ajaxx, but I ordered the CD single of “Omnibus” – I swear, Germans make some of the best music. This piece was MADE for spin class. Do they have spin classes in Germany Jack?
The Tour Baby!
Starts this weekend. God, seems like yesterday I was watching it last year. The tivo is set!
To steal a line from Jank, “Forgive me blogfather, for I have sinned…” But like the title says, I feel like I did pretty good. I forced myself to sit down and write that letter to my dad. Ouch. Plus hub had to work late, so gym was postponed until tonight. So: emotional upset + sitting home alone = disaster, right? Well, not really. Yeah, I had 2 beers and some taco chips. But that’s it! No drive into Sonic for cheese sticks (Yes, I drove by – but didn’t stop). And god knows I wanted some cheesy Mexican mess for dinner, but I had a healthy meal at home instead.
Emotionally, I feel shaky rather than strong right now. But I think a relaxing weekend at home with my family should help. I think the phrase “time heals all wounds” is a load of crap. But you know, I’ve dealt with parental rejection as a child – it should be easier as an adult. Family shouldn’t be this hard – why is it for so many of us?
Leg day is getting a re-tooling to make it more kick ass, but my 2 upper body days are in good shape. I work shoulders on both arm days – they are getting really solid.
Not only did I order new workout CDs from DJ Ajaxx, but I ordered the CD single of “Omnibus” – I swear, Germans make some of the best music. This piece was MADE for spin class. Do they have spin classes in Germany Jack?
The Tour Baby!
Starts this weekend. God, seems like yesterday I was watching it last year. The tivo is set!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Just Plugging Along
Watching TV last night, I was hit with a total overwhelming desire for fried shrimp. Damn commercials! But it passed, and if I still want them, there’s always that free meal this weekend.
Stuck to plan, went to the gym. It was a fairly mediocre workout – I cannot do enough weight with dumbbells to work my legs much when I squat. The weight bothers my shoulders before it gets hard for my legs. Back to the bar for that one. Other than that, okay.
Food was on track. I made ‘hamburgerless helper” for dinner. Sauteed bell peppers, diced tomato, black beans, and veggie crumbles took the place of the hamburger. Not exactly homemade, but quick & decent.
That little excel spreadsheet is da bomb. Who would have thought a grown woman would get so excited about checking off the fact that she brushed her teeth!
So, I go back tomorrow for what I presume will be my last visit with Bob the priest. Last time I spoke with him, I came in with notes. I had a pretty clear vision of what I wanted to write my dad, what I expected his potential reactions to be, and how I would deal with them. And have done nothing since. Like, I need to sit down and actually write something. But I am procrastinating. No action can be so much more comfortable than doing something. I need to fish or cut bait on this one. I don’t want to – bitch, moan, whine.
Songs I love:
I believe in you by Kylie Minogue – LOVE IT!!!!
One Word by Kelly Osbourne (I can’t believe I am admitting that!)
Holloback Girl by Gwen Stefani (I know I’m old, but does anyone know what this song is about???)
Omnibus by Laut Sprecher - Better than Darude’s Sandstorm. Makes you want to ride your bike up a mountain – in the Alps!
How did you know? by Mynt
Watching TV last night, I was hit with a total overwhelming desire for fried shrimp. Damn commercials! But it passed, and if I still want them, there’s always that free meal this weekend.
Stuck to plan, went to the gym. It was a fairly mediocre workout – I cannot do enough weight with dumbbells to work my legs much when I squat. The weight bothers my shoulders before it gets hard for my legs. Back to the bar for that one. Other than that, okay.
Food was on track. I made ‘hamburgerless helper” for dinner. Sauteed bell peppers, diced tomato, black beans, and veggie crumbles took the place of the hamburger. Not exactly homemade, but quick & decent.
That little excel spreadsheet is da bomb. Who would have thought a grown woman would get so excited about checking off the fact that she brushed her teeth!
So, I go back tomorrow for what I presume will be my last visit with Bob the priest. Last time I spoke with him, I came in with notes. I had a pretty clear vision of what I wanted to write my dad, what I expected his potential reactions to be, and how I would deal with them. And have done nothing since. Like, I need to sit down and actually write something. But I am procrastinating. No action can be so much more comfortable than doing something. I need to fish or cut bait on this one. I don’t want to – bitch, moan, whine.
Songs I love:
I believe in you by Kylie Minogue – LOVE IT!!!!
One Word by Kelly Osbourne (I can’t believe I am admitting that!)
Holloback Girl by Gwen Stefani (I know I’m old, but does anyone know what this song is about???)
Omnibus by Laut Sprecher - Better than Darude’s Sandstorm. Makes you want to ride your bike up a mountain – in the Alps!
How did you know? by Mynt
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I didn’t know weekday evenings could be like that!
What a concept – a relaxing evening during the week! I was very proud of hubby – he went to the gym with me!! That makes me happy. He had a good workout. While he did a total body workout, I did chest & back. He wasn’t finished yet, so I did 20 minutes on the recumbent bike while I waited – bonus cardio!
To keep up with my good habits, I made myself a little excel spreadsheet (I read in someone’s blog that they had done this and I thought it might help me too). I have 5 habits a day I want to keep up with: morning walk/run, lunch walk, gym, floss teeth in evening, and wash face in evening. I am tracking Monday – Saturday, and my goal is 25 boxes checked off per week. I will not expect perfection every day. I am trying to get away from that “all or nothing” mentality – it’s so self-defeating. Yes, I will give myself a reward if I meet my goal. :-)
Anyway, we hit the gym, then went home & I heated up some homemade soup & made baked tomatoes. We a nice dinner and then I took a nice bath while hub did dishes. Then we watched a movie! Unbelievable!
I got up this morning and did a great 2 mile run. It never ceases to amaze me how much better I feel when I eat healthy foods & exercise my bod. You think that awesome feeling would be incentive to do that on a regular basis, huh?
I must test blogger's new picture thingie - here I am last year at a friend's scottish wedding.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Uninspired or uninspiring?
Hmmm. So, I realize Stella’s groove left for Jamaica without her (or me, actually). This blog has been kinda blah lately. Judging by the lack of comments, I guess I’m not the only one to think that!
Hubby & I talked yesterday – we’ve agreed to make the house a “beer free” zone. It will be easier for me, and he is saying he wants to lose the weight he’s regained. He hasn’t been exercising since he’s been working out of town. His shorts don’t fit – big wake-up call for him! He walked after I got back from running yesterday. He may go to the gym with me tonight. Yay! That makes me glad. He needs to lose weight (he has high blood pressure), but I don’t want to push him and turn him off. It’s tough – I want to encourage him but he hasn’t seemed ready. Maybe that will begin to change now that he is home.
My “cheat meal” contained cheese dip. It is no longer my friend. I feel too lousy the next day for it to be worth it to eat. Oh cheese dip, how you have betrayed me! Forced to eat healthy food – drat! :-)
Hmmm. So, I realize Stella’s groove left for Jamaica without her (or me, actually). This blog has been kinda blah lately. Judging by the lack of comments, I guess I’m not the only one to think that!
Hubby & I talked yesterday – we’ve agreed to make the house a “beer free” zone. It will be easier for me, and he is saying he wants to lose the weight he’s regained. He hasn’t been exercising since he’s been working out of town. His shorts don’t fit – big wake-up call for him! He walked after I got back from running yesterday. He may go to the gym with me tonight. Yay! That makes me glad. He needs to lose weight (he has high blood pressure), but I don’t want to push him and turn him off. It’s tough – I want to encourage him but he hasn’t seemed ready. Maybe that will begin to change now that he is home.
My “cheat meal” contained cheese dip. It is no longer my friend. I feel too lousy the next day for it to be worth it to eat. Oh cheese dip, how you have betrayed me! Forced to eat healthy food – drat! :-)
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Thought of the Day
As long as we allow ourselves the opportunity for self-loathing we will never fill our voids. Why should we, we are not worthy; when we beat ourselves up on a daily basis for the little things in life; we can't even think about our purpose for living! We have brainwashed ourselves into believing that this is all there is, so why want more passion or joy!
As long as we allow ourselves the opportunity for self-loathing we will never fill our voids. Why should we, we are not worthy; when we beat ourselves up on a daily basis for the little things in life; we can't even think about our purpose for living! We have brainwashed ourselves into believing that this is all there is, so why want more passion or joy!
Money Causes Christmas, and Catching Up on Me
People get easily confused by all the seemingly endless and contradictory studies. It’s no wonder we all want to throw up our hands and eat a twinkie. Here is my favorite statistical story:
Every year at the beginning of the fourth quarter, the government releases additional paper cash into the economy. Every December, Christmas happens. Therefore, money causes Christmas, right? You might not have known that little nugget about the release of currency, but I bet you quickly figured out that the gov’t does it in order to facilitate Christmas shopping.
People frequently confuse correlation and causation – but just because two events occur together, doesn’t not mean that A causes B. B might cause A, or even C – who got left out of the study. Statistics are very useful (thus sayeth the statistician) but if you torture them enough, they say whatever you please. That’s why I take all the studies with a huge grain of salt. People tend to use them to back up whatever they believe.
Weight gained on vacation: 2.5 pounds. Not too shabby!
My exhaustion level: Beginning to subside. By next week I should be normal.
My stress level: Work is insane, but it will end in a couple of days. Hub seems happy with the new job, which makes me happy.
Music makes me happy. I like a lot of stuff, but this is what I am listening to at work these days: http://www.energy927fm.com/ Good stuff!
The boy’s belt test went great last night. Tonight is the awards ceremony and pizza party. I’ve bought everything but the ice, collected the $$, and just need to order the pizza at lunchtime today. Then he’s off for the summer!! Woo hoo! Freedom for mommy!!!!
People get easily confused by all the seemingly endless and contradictory studies. It’s no wonder we all want to throw up our hands and eat a twinkie. Here is my favorite statistical story:
Every year at the beginning of the fourth quarter, the government releases additional paper cash into the economy. Every December, Christmas happens. Therefore, money causes Christmas, right? You might not have known that little nugget about the release of currency, but I bet you quickly figured out that the gov’t does it in order to facilitate Christmas shopping.
People frequently confuse correlation and causation – but just because two events occur together, doesn’t not mean that A causes B. B might cause A, or even C – who got left out of the study. Statistics are very useful (thus sayeth the statistician) but if you torture them enough, they say whatever you please. That’s why I take all the studies with a huge grain of salt. People tend to use them to back up whatever they believe.
Weight gained on vacation: 2.5 pounds. Not too shabby!
My exhaustion level: Beginning to subside. By next week I should be normal.
My stress level: Work is insane, but it will end in a couple of days. Hub seems happy with the new job, which makes me happy.
Music makes me happy. I like a lot of stuff, but this is what I am listening to at work these days: http://www.energy927fm.com/ Good stuff!
The boy’s belt test went great last night. Tonight is the awards ceremony and pizza party. I’ve bought everything but the ice, collected the $$, and just need to order the pizza at lunchtime today. Then he’s off for the summer!! Woo hoo! Freedom for mommy!!!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Morning Musing of a Recovering Lazy-A$$, and other Stuff
One of the more difficult parts of being a recoving lazy-thing is finding balance. For example, I can never know with confidence whether I am doing “enough” exercise. What is enough? This week I am trying to silence the inner voice that wants to beat me up for not running in the mornings. I am getting in my gym time, and my lunch walks, but a) it’s a hectic week and b) I’m tired still from traveling. Why is it so hard to just say “This week is less than I’d like, but enough that I won’t wither away.”?
So, my husband started a new job today. Sometimes you’ve got to release your problems to the universe. The poor man was at his breaking point, and the possibility a friend mentioned panned out. Please don’t feel any sympathy for his former boss. Here was the schedule he laid on hubby this week: Monday Fayetteville (3 hours east of home), Tuesday Marion (2.5 hours west of home) then drive back to pick up the helper & the tools boss asked him to leave with helper (naturally he needed those tools in Marion yesterday). Wednesday & Thursday were Spartanburg SC (3 hours south of home), then Friday in Sanford (1.5 hours east of home). In a work van with a gas allowance of $125. Why? Because hubby was the ONLY lead carpenter he had left and the boss didn’t want to leave home. Be careful who you treat like sh-- , they might leave you holding that bag of sh--. He quit at 1:30, and got home at 9:30 after all the driving around to get the tools he’d been asked to leave. Never mind when he had all those tools already stolen from that job site not only did the boss not have insurance to cover it, but he didn’t help with the replacement. Ug!
The new job is local. Hurray!!! I hope it goes well. And I am so glad he’ll be at the boy’s tae kwon do test tonight.
Ran errands last night – semper gumby, right? Gym after work, then home for lentil soup & back to the gym for the boy’s belt test.
One of the more difficult parts of being a recoving lazy-thing is finding balance. For example, I can never know with confidence whether I am doing “enough” exercise. What is enough? This week I am trying to silence the inner voice that wants to beat me up for not running in the mornings. I am getting in my gym time, and my lunch walks, but a) it’s a hectic week and b) I’m tired still from traveling. Why is it so hard to just say “This week is less than I’d like, but enough that I won’t wither away.”?
So, my husband started a new job today. Sometimes you’ve got to release your problems to the universe. The poor man was at his breaking point, and the possibility a friend mentioned panned out. Please don’t feel any sympathy for his former boss. Here was the schedule he laid on hubby this week: Monday Fayetteville (3 hours east of home), Tuesday Marion (2.5 hours west of home) then drive back to pick up the helper & the tools boss asked him to leave with helper (naturally he needed those tools in Marion yesterday). Wednesday & Thursday were Spartanburg SC (3 hours south of home), then Friday in Sanford (1.5 hours east of home). In a work van with a gas allowance of $125. Why? Because hubby was the ONLY lead carpenter he had left and the boss didn’t want to leave home. Be careful who you treat like sh-- , they might leave you holding that bag of sh--. He quit at 1:30, and got home at 9:30 after all the driving around to get the tools he’d been asked to leave. Never mind when he had all those tools already stolen from that job site not only did the boss not have insurance to cover it, but he didn’t help with the replacement. Ug!
The new job is local. Hurray!!! I hope it goes well. And I am so glad he’ll be at the boy’s tae kwon do test tonight.
Ran errands last night – semper gumby, right? Gym after work, then home for lentil soup & back to the gym for the boy’s belt test.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
When do you feel like a grown-up?
I feel so silly sometimes. I mean, how hard is it to remember to floss and wash your face at night? But by bedtime I am so tired that I confess I don’t always remember. Too bad my mom can’t come over & remind me! Anyway, as part of my plan to take better care of myself, these are two habits I plan to work harder at remembering. I even have a sign posted on my bathroom mirror!
In addition to reading “Body for Life for Women” while I was on vacation, I re-read “Body for Life” last night. A friend had asked to borrow it, and I wanted to go back over it again before I loaned it out. One thing that was nice to see is that my eating is already very much in line with the plan outlined in the books. (When I eat on plan!) One confusing thing: Bill calls yogurt a carb, while Pamela calls it a protein. I have been counting it as a protein – my breakfast these days is yogurt & raw oats. Should I be adding protein powder to that to boost the protein? Thoughts? Advice????
The “Body Sculpting Bible” workout is very similar to Bill’s weight training plan. I think intensity is the key in any weight lifting regime – you can get good results with any of these plans as long as you put work into it.
I do plan to add HIIT back into the mix. My plan for this evening is weights & HIIT – yesterday was just weights. I came in to work early and other than a walk at lunch, got in no cardio. I’ll walk at lunch again today. I got all my unpacking done yesterday, so it was a pretty crazy day.
I am very worried about my husband. His boss is being totally unreasonable (again) – expecting him to drive all over hell’s half acre plus work full days. On the road 7 hours yesterday, 8 today, and going to SC tomorrow. I wish I could support us! Plus the boy’s tae kwon do test is tomorrow night - hubby had to miss the last one and is determined to drive home from SC to be there. I worry about that man. I wish he could find a job close to home. This is just too much stress for him to carry.
Sorry to end this on a bad note – just needed to release some of that.
I feel so silly sometimes. I mean, how hard is it to remember to floss and wash your face at night? But by bedtime I am so tired that I confess I don’t always remember. Too bad my mom can’t come over & remind me! Anyway, as part of my plan to take better care of myself, these are two habits I plan to work harder at remembering. I even have a sign posted on my bathroom mirror!
In addition to reading “Body for Life for Women” while I was on vacation, I re-read “Body for Life” last night. A friend had asked to borrow it, and I wanted to go back over it again before I loaned it out. One thing that was nice to see is that my eating is already very much in line with the plan outlined in the books. (When I eat on plan!) One confusing thing: Bill calls yogurt a carb, while Pamela calls it a protein. I have been counting it as a protein – my breakfast these days is yogurt & raw oats. Should I be adding protein powder to that to boost the protein? Thoughts? Advice????
The “Body Sculpting Bible” workout is very similar to Bill’s weight training plan. I think intensity is the key in any weight lifting regime – you can get good results with any of these plans as long as you put work into it.
I do plan to add HIIT back into the mix. My plan for this evening is weights & HIIT – yesterday was just weights. I came in to work early and other than a walk at lunch, got in no cardio. I’ll walk at lunch again today. I got all my unpacking done yesterday, so it was a pretty crazy day.
I am very worried about my husband. His boss is being totally unreasonable (again) – expecting him to drive all over hell’s half acre plus work full days. On the road 7 hours yesterday, 8 today, and going to SC tomorrow. I wish I could support us! Plus the boy’s tae kwon do test is tomorrow night - hubby had to miss the last one and is determined to drive home from SC to be there. I worry about that man. I wish he could find a job close to home. This is just too much stress for him to carry.
Sorry to end this on a bad note – just needed to release some of that.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Super Humongo Salad of Doom (Trough not included)
Vacation was very nice. I mean, you can only relax so much with two 10 year olds, but it was nice. Lots of touristy stuff - the Lost Colony, climbing the Hatteras Lighthouse, taking the ferry to Ocracoke, the Wright Brothers museum in Kill Devil Hills... and a fair amount of reading a book with a cold brew. Rented a kayak & went out in the sound with my son.
It was great, but its also great to be home to my doggie children, and having a huge salad for lunch. "Should we eat that? It's green." ha ha ha
An added bonus: the house we rented had Arnold's "Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding." heh!
Vacation was very nice. I mean, you can only relax so much with two 10 year olds, but it was nice. Lots of touristy stuff - the Lost Colony, climbing the Hatteras Lighthouse, taking the ferry to Ocracoke, the Wright Brothers museum in Kill Devil Hills... and a fair amount of reading a book with a cold brew. Rented a kayak & went out in the sound with my son.
It was great, but its also great to be home to my doggie children, and having a huge salad for lunch. "Should we eat that? It's green." ha ha ha
An added bonus: the house we rented had Arnold's "Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding." heh!
Friday, June 10, 2005
Stepping out into the Sun
So, I had an interesting conversation with Father H. yesterday at lunch (note: can I just say I find it freaky-deeky that I spend the occasional lunch talking with a priest?). I was describing what it felt like those 2 weeks where I didn’t use food at all to insulate myself from life. I said, “It’s like stepping out into bright sunlight with no sunglasses. There is no buffer between you and your emotions.” He really keyed onto that word “buffer” and we talked a little about how emotional eaters use food to act as a buffer between themselves & their emotions. And I think most people use something on a pretty regular basis: shopping, working out, sleeping, cooking, - you get it. It’s like it’s too much to take in all at once.
One of my goals for next week is to use my food buffer as little as possible. I won’t say not at all, but minimize that behavior. And be conscious of it when I do CHOOSE to engage in that behavior.
I’m up one pound – 151.5. Okay, I’ll take that. I plan to not gain next week, and then back to the business of losing when I get back. So, 2 weeks until next weigh-in and hopefully a small loss to post!
It will be weird not writing in this blog for a week. That will be the longest I’ve gone without posting in the 15 months since I started it.
So, the stomach thing yesterday. What did I do to myself? Either I ate some combination of food that was evil, or I had a mild case of food poisoning – my stomach hurt worse & worse as the day wore on. I mean, sharp pain! It was obviously gas (I looked pregnant!). The sucky thing was that kind of pains feels similar to hunger pains, so I kept wanting to eat, then having to remind myself that eating to excess would make it worse. I did fine with food, despite poor planning on what I brought in and then the pain. Yuck. I am feeling better this morning.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great week and I can’t wait to read some fantastic workout reports when I get back! I’m gonna miss my blog friends!
So, I had an interesting conversation with Father H. yesterday at lunch (note: can I just say I find it freaky-deeky that I spend the occasional lunch talking with a priest?). I was describing what it felt like those 2 weeks where I didn’t use food at all to insulate myself from life. I said, “It’s like stepping out into bright sunlight with no sunglasses. There is no buffer between you and your emotions.” He really keyed onto that word “buffer” and we talked a little about how emotional eaters use food to act as a buffer between themselves & their emotions. And I think most people use something on a pretty regular basis: shopping, working out, sleeping, cooking, - you get it. It’s like it’s too much to take in all at once.
One of my goals for next week is to use my food buffer as little as possible. I won’t say not at all, but minimize that behavior. And be conscious of it when I do CHOOSE to engage in that behavior.
I’m up one pound – 151.5. Okay, I’ll take that. I plan to not gain next week, and then back to the business of losing when I get back. So, 2 weeks until next weigh-in and hopefully a small loss to post!
It will be weird not writing in this blog for a week. That will be the longest I’ve gone without posting in the 15 months since I started it.
So, the stomach thing yesterday. What did I do to myself? Either I ate some combination of food that was evil, or I had a mild case of food poisoning – my stomach hurt worse & worse as the day wore on. I mean, sharp pain! It was obviously gas (I looked pregnant!). The sucky thing was that kind of pains feels similar to hunger pains, so I kept wanting to eat, then having to remind myself that eating to excess would make it worse. I did fine with food, despite poor planning on what I brought in and then the pain. Yuck. I am feeling better this morning.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great week and I can’t wait to read some fantastic workout reports when I get back! I’m gonna miss my blog friends!
Thursday, June 09, 2005
3 Days Down
I’ve lifted weights the past 3 days. While I’ve had to make some adjustments to the program, I’ve enjoyed the discipline of going to the gym.
In other news, I had a glass of milk for a snack and I feel gassy. I downed one of my digestive enzymes after the fact – let’s hope that sucker helps!
I planned out food for while I am vacation next week. Other than 2 meals, I plan to keep things pretty much “business as usual”. I know this will be tough since I’m sure hubby will be in full blown vacation mode, and my mom is concerned that we won’t have enough desserts with only pudding, jell-o and a trifle. She must make cookies! (So she claims). And the hubster will want a cooler of beer wherever we go. La. On the plus side, I’m taking my running shoes and my bike. Cardio has been a little slack this week while I work on the weight lifting. Next week cardio rules! And the following week I try to put all the pieces of this cardio/weights/healthy food triangle together – get this – at one time!!!
I’ve lifted weights the past 3 days. While I’ve had to make some adjustments to the program, I’ve enjoyed the discipline of going to the gym.
In other news, I had a glass of milk for a snack and I feel gassy. I downed one of my digestive enzymes after the fact – let’s hope that sucker helps!
I planned out food for while I am vacation next week. Other than 2 meals, I plan to keep things pretty much “business as usual”. I know this will be tough since I’m sure hubby will be in full blown vacation mode, and my mom is concerned that we won’t have enough desserts with only pudding, jell-o and a trifle. She must make cookies! (So she claims). And the hubster will want a cooler of beer wherever we go. La. On the plus side, I’m taking my running shoes and my bike. Cardio has been a little slack this week while I work on the weight lifting. Next week cardio rules! And the following week I try to put all the pieces of this cardio/weights/healthy food triangle together – get this – at one time!!!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Some days I don’t want to write a deep post
But today I have to. I’ve been working on dealing with some of the final causes of my overeating and my need to remain overweight. I stepped across the line, retreated back into known territory for a week or so, and now find myself ready to step across the line again. That strange place called “a healthy relationship with food.” I don’t know that I’ll ever achieve full-time resident status, but at least I’ve made a couple of visits. And I mean into true healthy eating – not just following a strict “healthy eating plan”, which for me is just another form of the same problem.
Two posts I’ve read recently helped me on this vision quest of mine.
Here: http://whytheweight.blogspot.com/2005/06/new-attitude.html
And then this response:
http://iamthatgirlnow.blogspot.com/2005/06/on-food-and-eating.html
What it boils down to is this “The emotions are deflected onto something that I'm comfortable with feeling bad about.”
Because really, it’s a lot easier to feel bad about eating a bunch of nachos than it is to deal with the root causes of those bad feelings, isn’t it?
Went to the gym last night for leg night. It’s funny – I can walk out of the gym with my arms too exhausted to lift my car keys, but they’ll be fine the next day. On the other end of the spectrum, I can work my legs and feel okay but then be so sore the next day I can hardly walk up the stairs! So I did a “light” version of the leg routine so I could build up to it. I didn’t want to be too sore for the rest of the week. Finished out with 15 minutes on the elliptical and then went home and took my little dog for a 1 mile walk.
Tonight is back & chest. Yum!
But today I have to. I’ve been working on dealing with some of the final causes of my overeating and my need to remain overweight. I stepped across the line, retreated back into known territory for a week or so, and now find myself ready to step across the line again. That strange place called “a healthy relationship with food.” I don’t know that I’ll ever achieve full-time resident status, but at least I’ve made a couple of visits. And I mean into true healthy eating – not just following a strict “healthy eating plan”, which for me is just another form of the same problem.
Two posts I’ve read recently helped me on this vision quest of mine.
Here: http://whytheweight.blogspot.com/2005/06/new-attitude.html
And then this response:
http://iamthatgirlnow.blogspot.com/2005/06/on-food-and-eating.html
What it boils down to is this “The emotions are deflected onto something that I'm comfortable with feeling bad about.”
Because really, it’s a lot easier to feel bad about eating a bunch of nachos than it is to deal with the root causes of those bad feelings, isn’t it?
Went to the gym last night for leg night. It’s funny – I can walk out of the gym with my arms too exhausted to lift my car keys, but they’ll be fine the next day. On the other end of the spectrum, I can work my legs and feel okay but then be so sore the next day I can hardly walk up the stairs! So I did a “light” version of the leg routine so I could build up to it. I didn’t want to be too sore for the rest of the week. Finished out with 15 minutes on the elliptical and then went home and took my little dog for a 1 mile walk.
Tonight is back & chest. Yum!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Workout Review and “Ride for the Rice” postponed
“The Body Sculpting Bible for Women” actually has 5 different workouts in it. Two beginner, 2 intermediate, and 1 advanced. I started using the advanced workout. It is a 6 day a week plan. Upper body is divided up into 2 workouts, with the third workout a lower body.
I made a couple of changes. For one, they recommended doing 3 lower body workouts, and 3 upper. You alternate weeks so that 1 week you might hit bis & tris twice, and the following week you hit chest & back twice. I don’t need to lift 3 times per week with my legs since my walking and running help with that already. My leg muscles are pretty good and I want to build my upper more, so I opted to do each workout twice per week.
The other thing is that again they are using supersets (which I like). In weeks 1 & 2 you are doing 3 sets of each exercise, except what they really want you to do is an exercise for sets 1 & 3, with a different exercise for the middle set. You are already combining opposing muscle exercises, so you would have 4 exercises in one superset. That’s a lot of equipment to hog. What I may do is the primary exercise 1 week, and use the alternate the next week. If it sounds confusing – well it kinda is. They want you to do a lot of different exercises for the muscles, which does make sense. The more ways you use it, the better you’ve worked it.
Last night’s workout was a good one. I had to skip the final set of concentration curls & kickbacks because my biceps simply refused to lift the weight. I guess I could have gone down in weight, but I just left it off. Good workout!
When I got home from the gym I wanted to go for a bike ride, but my tire was flat and the pump was in hubby’s van. And he wasn’t home from work. So I fast walked 3 miles instead. Since it was a new lifting plan, I opted to wait until I’d gotten used to it a little before I rode to the gym. I wanted to pick up some steamed rice from the Chinese place to go with dinner (I hate making rice in a pot and my rice maker died. I know, lame). I thought I’d ride my bike to the Chinese place, but – denied! I am really looking forward to riding down at the beach next week.
So, lots of good exercise yesterday!
I love the farmer’s market. I love chopping a whole cucumber and a whole fresh tomato, putting it all into 2 bowls and calling it “salad”. Dressing optional. I made a quickie red beans & rice last night, with some Boca veggie crumbles, beans, and chopped veggies. A little homemade Cajun seasoning blend, and dinner was ready in 15 minutes. Oh, and I did make rice in a pot.
Hubby is out of town the rest of the week. TV dinners, here I come! I had a tv dinner Sunday night – the brand was San Angelo or something – it was Italian. Vegetable lasagna. I remember being impressed in the grocery – 230 calories. Then I read the box while it heated. Yeah – 230 calories per serving. With 1.5 servings in that tiny little box. I hate that crap. Really. How deceptive!
So, exercise good. Food, good. Plan in place. I even got some sewing done last night while I watched a movie. Yay me!
“The Body Sculpting Bible for Women” actually has 5 different workouts in it. Two beginner, 2 intermediate, and 1 advanced. I started using the advanced workout. It is a 6 day a week plan. Upper body is divided up into 2 workouts, with the third workout a lower body.
I made a couple of changes. For one, they recommended doing 3 lower body workouts, and 3 upper. You alternate weeks so that 1 week you might hit bis & tris twice, and the following week you hit chest & back twice. I don’t need to lift 3 times per week with my legs since my walking and running help with that already. My leg muscles are pretty good and I want to build my upper more, so I opted to do each workout twice per week.
The other thing is that again they are using supersets (which I like). In weeks 1 & 2 you are doing 3 sets of each exercise, except what they really want you to do is an exercise for sets 1 & 3, with a different exercise for the middle set. You are already combining opposing muscle exercises, so you would have 4 exercises in one superset. That’s a lot of equipment to hog. What I may do is the primary exercise 1 week, and use the alternate the next week. If it sounds confusing – well it kinda is. They want you to do a lot of different exercises for the muscles, which does make sense. The more ways you use it, the better you’ve worked it.
Last night’s workout was a good one. I had to skip the final set of concentration curls & kickbacks because my biceps simply refused to lift the weight. I guess I could have gone down in weight, but I just left it off. Good workout!
When I got home from the gym I wanted to go for a bike ride, but my tire was flat and the pump was in hubby’s van. And he wasn’t home from work. So I fast walked 3 miles instead. Since it was a new lifting plan, I opted to wait until I’d gotten used to it a little before I rode to the gym. I wanted to pick up some steamed rice from the Chinese place to go with dinner (I hate making rice in a pot and my rice maker died. I know, lame). I thought I’d ride my bike to the Chinese place, but – denied! I am really looking forward to riding down at the beach next week.
So, lots of good exercise yesterday!
I love the farmer’s market. I love chopping a whole cucumber and a whole fresh tomato, putting it all into 2 bowls and calling it “salad”. Dressing optional. I made a quickie red beans & rice last night, with some Boca veggie crumbles, beans, and chopped veggies. A little homemade Cajun seasoning blend, and dinner was ready in 15 minutes. Oh, and I did make rice in a pot.
Hubby is out of town the rest of the week. TV dinners, here I come! I had a tv dinner Sunday night – the brand was San Angelo or something – it was Italian. Vegetable lasagna. I remember being impressed in the grocery – 230 calories. Then I read the box while it heated. Yeah – 230 calories per serving. With 1.5 servings in that tiny little box. I hate that crap. Really. How deceptive!
So, exercise good. Food, good. Plan in place. I even got some sewing done last night while I watched a movie. Yay me!
Monday, June 06, 2005
The Dog Days of Summer
Saturday morning I walked out of the grocery, sniffed the air, and said to myself "Summer is here."
But I'm not a very bright woman, meaning I didn't act on that realization. I would have gotten more sewing and less tv viewing done Saturday had I turned the air conditioning on. But I was stubborn.
Then Sunday I should have asked the hubby to help me close some of the windows I can't close before he left for work, but I didn't. So the dogs and I layed around watching tivo-ed lame sci-fi movies, panting and bemoaning our fate. The coolness of beer kept me refreshed (and a cold bath). I did a llittle sewing, but not as much as I wanted due to utter lack of motivation.
The thing I hate most about weekends like this (and the reason why I want to put them behind me - besides wanting to have a waist) is the fact that in retrospect I always come away feeling like I have wasted my time. I could have watched movies while sewing and would have enjoyed my time more.
Oh well.
Today is day 1 of my 6 day a week lifting experiement. I am curious to see how I like this routine relative to the one I have been using. I'll keep you posted.
Saturday morning I walked out of the grocery, sniffed the air, and said to myself "Summer is here."
But I'm not a very bright woman, meaning I didn't act on that realization. I would have gotten more sewing and less tv viewing done Saturday had I turned the air conditioning on. But I was stubborn.
Then Sunday I should have asked the hubby to help me close some of the windows I can't close before he left for work, but I didn't. So the dogs and I layed around watching tivo-ed lame sci-fi movies, panting and bemoaning our fate. The coolness of beer kept me refreshed (and a cold bath). I did a llittle sewing, but not as much as I wanted due to utter lack of motivation.
The thing I hate most about weekends like this (and the reason why I want to put them behind me - besides wanting to have a waist) is the fact that in retrospect I always come away feeling like I have wasted my time. I could have watched movies while sewing and would have enjoyed my time more.
Oh well.
Today is day 1 of my 6 day a week lifting experiement. I am curious to see how I like this routine relative to the one I have been using. I'll keep you posted.
Friday, June 03, 2005
TGIF
Not a very original title, but the truth. It’s been a super tiring week, with the end of school, the rainy weather, and resulting lack of energy on my part. Here’s to a quiet weekend of puttering around the house while watching all the cool movies I Tivo-ed off Sci-fi channel’s movie marathon last weekend.
Hubby will be playing D&D, so I should be able to have some “me” time even though he will be home. And the boy is going to visit with grandpa until Wednesday. I’m trying to figure out what is the simplest, healthy thing I can feed myself for dinners next week. I’m taking a week off cooking!
Not a very original title, but the truth. It’s been a super tiring week, with the end of school, the rainy weather, and resulting lack of energy on my part. Here’s to a quiet weekend of puttering around the house while watching all the cool movies I Tivo-ed off Sci-fi channel’s movie marathon last weekend.
Hubby will be playing D&D, so I should be able to have some “me” time even though he will be home. And the boy is going to visit with grandpa until Wednesday. I’m trying to figure out what is the simplest, healthy thing I can feed myself for dinners next week. I’m taking a week off cooking!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Blech.
I woke up feeling like utter crap. Terrible headache. Someone please remove my head. I did nothing to earn a hangover, so please don’t give me one. I am sitting here eating animal cookies and having a diet Sprite, hoping the second 800 mg Motrin of the day will please make me feel like a human.
Lucky I ran when I got home last night – it was raining really hard this morning. I stayed in bed since witches melt in the rain. So does sugar. Which am I, hmmm????
I ate crap after dinner last night. Not a lot, but enough that the remorse more than outweighs the pleasure derived from the food. Lesson re-learned for the 5,672nd time, thanks.
I am supposed to lift weights tonight. I will if I feel like a human by then. I am going to try the 6 day a week program – just call me loony.
I woke up feeling like utter crap. Terrible headache. Someone please remove my head. I did nothing to earn a hangover, so please don’t give me one. I am sitting here eating animal cookies and having a diet Sprite, hoping the second 800 mg Motrin of the day will please make me feel like a human.
Lucky I ran when I got home last night – it was raining really hard this morning. I stayed in bed since witches melt in the rain. So does sugar. Which am I, hmmm????
I ate crap after dinner last night. Not a lot, but enough that the remorse more than outweighs the pleasure derived from the food. Lesson re-learned for the 5,672nd time, thanks.
I am supposed to lift weights tonight. I will if I feel like a human by then. I am going to try the 6 day a week program – just call me loony.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
We’re Here to Pump You Up!
(I loved that skit on SNL)
This new phase of my lifting is killer! It has you doing 8 – 10 reps of the same exercises, but 4 sets instead of 3. The book organizes them into giant sets of 4 exercises each, but the weight room was packed so I couldn’t hog that many weights at once! I broke each giant set in half. I don’t know if it was that 4th set or what, but I was whipped! After I finished, I had about 15 minutes to wait for the boy. I sat down in the back of his class, leaned my head against the wall, and fell asleep!
Hopefully my run won’t get rained out tomorrow morning – we’re looking at rain through Friday. :-(
Eating is fine – roughly 1530 calories yesterday – I had a glass of milk with a little chocolate syrup when I got home from the gym. Back on track and the water bloat seems to be subsiding.
I’m thinking of switching over to the 6 day a week weight training program – I need to read about it in my book tonight and make a decision. While it might be tough to motivate myself, I think it would pay off. Have you ever really seen something in your mind’s eye? I have a vision of where I want to take my body. Sculpted enough you can see the muscles, but smoother than a body builder (I don’t plan to lose that much fat!). That’s where I want to go, and summer is prime time for me to make progress because I am less hindered by my family’s schedule. What I want is totally realistic and attainable – not a look I can’t achieve or maintain. I see glimpses of it already. Like a sculptor, with clay – I just need to trim away a little of the excess to bring out the piece.
It’s getting there.
(I loved that skit on SNL)
This new phase of my lifting is killer! It has you doing 8 – 10 reps of the same exercises, but 4 sets instead of 3. The book organizes them into giant sets of 4 exercises each, but the weight room was packed so I couldn’t hog that many weights at once! I broke each giant set in half. I don’t know if it was that 4th set or what, but I was whipped! After I finished, I had about 15 minutes to wait for the boy. I sat down in the back of his class, leaned my head against the wall, and fell asleep!
Hopefully my run won’t get rained out tomorrow morning – we’re looking at rain through Friday. :-(
Eating is fine – roughly 1530 calories yesterday – I had a glass of milk with a little chocolate syrup when I got home from the gym. Back on track and the water bloat seems to be subsiding.
I’m thinking of switching over to the 6 day a week weight training program – I need to read about it in my book tonight and make a decision. While it might be tough to motivate myself, I think it would pay off. Have you ever really seen something in your mind’s eye? I have a vision of where I want to take my body. Sculpted enough you can see the muscles, but smoother than a body builder (I don’t plan to lose that much fat!). That’s where I want to go, and summer is prime time for me to make progress because I am less hindered by my family’s schedule. What I want is totally realistic and attainable – not a look I can’t achieve or maintain. I see glimpses of it already. Like a sculptor, with clay – I just need to trim away a little of the excess to bring out the piece.
It’s getting there.
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