Class 1 Review

Hello there!

I had my first "Move It!" class at the VA this morning. A brief overview: this is the weight management program the VA has put together. There are 3 options: physical class, one on one phone calls, or an automated phone service. I opted to do the in person option. You may use various options, and you may continue as long as you want. You may not use multiple options at once.

The in person option is 12 classes, 4 each on nutrition, exercise, and the psychological competent of weight management. You do one of each class and then have a week off.

Today was my first class (nutrition) called "Eat wisely to tip the balance". We discussed the basics of weight control (calories in v out), serving sizes, the government "healthy plate".

I walked away not impressed. It felt like and 8th grade health class. I did weigh in, and I didn't count it a waste since I had some follow up blood work done while I was there. I walked over to schedule my next appointments. While I was waiting, another gentleman from the class walked up. He said he hadn't enjoyed some of the classes (and specifically mentioned he didn't find the exercise classes helpful), but that he really enjoyed the one this morning.

That made me remember: we're all in a different place. It seemed very basic and overly simplistic to me, but he clearly took some good stuff away. Another gentleman was having an issue with the app, and one of the guys recommended my fitness pal. So people helped people. If nothing else, knowing I was going helped me stay the course since I weighed in. They show me down 4.4 pounds over the 2 weeks since the orientation. (My home scale has me down 4 pounds.)

I went into this with the mindset that if all I got was some extra accountability, then it was worth the effort. I feel like I am pretty knowledgeable when it comes to nutrition, and have worked with a nutritionist in the past. I didn't learn anything new, OTOH I have been tracking my food and workouts in sparkpeople pretty consistently and I've been eating more mindfully in the evening. So that alone has been very helpful.

Take care.

Weekend Update

Good morning and happy Monday! 

This weekend was very busy (as so many of them are).  I'd say we got done what needed to be done, but (as usual) not everything on the list.

I tried a new recipe - a low carb buffalo chicken soup for lunches this week. It's excellent! We lifted weights last night, even though we were both tired and neither wanted to, and I'm so glad we did. I did 3 weight sessions and 3 HIIT sessions in the gym last week. That rocks!

We were both a little tired and cranky Saturday, but we ran about a million errands. I got on the scale this morning and was the same as Friday - given my history of going off the rails on the weekend, I count that as a win.

We are really enjoying the Olympics.

I've begun (re) reading the book my doctor recommended on eating low carb. I'm not 100% there yet, but I've begun cutting back/cutting out the carbs. I'm hoping that I will begin seeing more movement on the scale soon. I know I feel less bloated and I can tell my fitness level is improving, so I do feel like it's making a difference.

Take care.

Note to self: Stay the course

Last weekend I was out of town, and tried to make good choices. This week I've been pretty careful and have tracked my food, gone to the gym, and was rewarded by a half pound gain. Ugh. We've all been there, right?

My plan is to double down, keep doing the right things, track over the weekend, and generally stay the course.

I'm still down 4 pounds from Disney.

Have a good weekend!

Messing with my head

You know I'm talking about the scale!!!

Yesterday the scale was up 2 pounds from last Friday. What!?!?!  (It was down a pound this morning, no I couldn't stay off.) So frustrating! So it looks like my goal for this week is to maintain. Grr. Oh well. I told T last night on the way into the gym, I feel like we are really really close. There are a few things we need to dial in, but I feel like we are falling into a good routine.

A big contributor to that is that we are both working, and we are both happy with our jobs. That makes everything so much better. It's incredible.

Things that have changed:

• T is finally adjusting to eating out as infrequently as I was used to doing. When he was unemployed, eating out was a big part of his "social time", which made it a hard habit to break. Now that he is teaching, he doesn't have the luxury of time to go out for breakfast or lunch, and we have gotten to a comfortable place with dinner. We use a good mix of stuff we prepare in advance or take out of the freezer, easy meals, or crock pot meals. We are coming up with the ideas together, so we are both pretty satisfied with what we are eating.

• Evening routine. On nights we are both home, I come home, we eat, and then we head for the gym if it's a lifting night. Afterward I may take a shower while he works on lesson plans, then we sit down on the sofa for an hour or so of tv time before bed. T comes to bed with me if possible (sometimes he has some desk work). We usually have an evening snack, but I try to have my eating done by 8 so I have a couple of hours before I fall asleep with no food and minimal liquid. 

• Gym. The last 2 weeks we lifted weights twice, this week we are on track to hit our goal of 3 times. We are using the YMCA in our town. We are both enjoying the Stronglifts routine - it's a great one if you are just starting or starting back at the gym. It's simple, and starts pretty easy - but doesn't stay that way! T is beginning to fall in love with the free weights the day I am. :-) I am going to the Anytime Fitness near the office for HIIT training at lunch, with a target of going 3 times per week. I am getting into a comfortable groove with that as well. T is talking about adding yoga to our routine. I am VERY pleased with the way this habit is shaping up!

• Calories. I have been tracking my calories the last couple of weeks, with a goal of finishing supper in the 1200-1300 calorie range. This leaves me roughly 300 calories for the evening. Since stopping evening snacking has never worked for me, I decided it was imperative that I plan for that snack. I've been using protein shakes and bars to help me stay on track. I'm not going to stop that entirely - I think the low carb high protein has definitely helped with my hunger and cravings, but next week I'm looking to pack a "real food" lunch. This week has been veggies and a protein shake. I think next week I will prep some chicken breasts to replace the shake. I will likely keep the shakes for my snacks. I have been shooting for a target of 1600 calories, which feels doable for now. My doctor recommended a good book to help with the low carb (which I bought), so I will review those guidelines. Let me add that my doctor has lost and kept off over 80 pounds doing low carb, so she has her own personal experience to draw from.

So that's where things are now. I hope that we are setting ourselves up for success!

Take care.

Clean bill of health and how often do you weigh?

I had my annual physical this morning. Other than my cholesterol ratio being borderline (my good guy is always near the bottom of okay), all my stats were good. I talked with my doctor about losing weight - she's lost 80 pounds using low carb, and she was helpful.

I weighed myself this morning and ugh - I get so frustrated with weighing. Do I weigh once a week? Every day? How do I take away the power I give the scale?

It's a rainy, yucky day here. I'm working at home and the dog won't stop barking at me.  Calgon, take me away! Lol

Take care.

What I'm eating now

I've tried many times over the past few months to plan and pack my food. And I have, but I've struggled with both tracking and with over snacking in the evenings. So I decided to add additional structure to my food. Breakfasts are consistent and I've been using bars and shakes to get low carb protein, adding roasted vegetables or a salad at lunch. I'm finding using a bit of carb in the morning (half of a Joseph's low carb wrap), then low carb for the day has translated to less snacking in the evening. Part of it may be that lower carb = fewer cravings, and part may be psychological: after staying on plan all day I don't want to "blow it!" come evening. In any case it seems to be working for now. The screen shot below is yesterday's food:

I guess you can click on it to enlarge. Anyway, you can see I did have something after dinner (a bloody mary and a slice of cheese), but that's a vast improvement from what it has been.

We didn't get in our weight lifting this weekend, so we only did 2 days last week. We are going this evening after dinner. Right now I want to do more, but am restraining myself because I don't want to overdo it in the weight room. Yesterday I did HIIT at the gym at lunch.

I'm glad to be home, glad that I will be home the next couple of weekends. I feel like we are beginning to get organized, and that feels good. A sense of normalcy has been missing from my life for the past ... oh ... 4 years??? I feel like I am finally breathing easier.

Take care.

An epic road trip

I am so tired of being in the car!!!!!  Friday was a 7 hour drive to Lagrange. Saturday was 4 hours (round trip) to Midway and back for the funeral, and yesterday was 8.5 hours, which included a side trip to Athens for the furniture and dog and some horrendous weather. I can't remember is I mentioned it, but mom took her best friend's dog. We also picked up some pieces that had been my grandparents' that we'd given to Ann, but since her son was going to donate them to GoodWill we took them back.

My great aunt's mind is really going downhill fast. Overall, it was a pretty depressing trip. But it's done, and we feel better for having gone.

Today I am back at work. Breakfast is eaten and tracked, lunch and snacks are packed. It feels good to be back home.

Take care.

Just a quick update

First, thanks fatfreefloozy!

I am packing now, having gotten T out the door and headed for school. I lost 3.4 pounds this week! I am very proud of myself!

We went to the gym last night. One thing I really like about this program is that the guy has a terrific (free) app for android or iphone, so we each have it loaded on our phone and use it to track how much we need to lift/ have lifted. Makes it easy to track, and if you have your phone you don't need a notebook.

Take care.

Heading out tomorrow

Mom and I are leaving tomorrow at 8 AM for Georgia. The funeral is at 2 PM EST Saturday and is 1.5 hours away from where my aunt Alma lives, so we have just enough time for a quick, early lunch with her before we heave to head out. So this trip is going to be weird and the schedule is going to be whacked. I am planning to take a couple of protein shakes/bars just in case. And a couple bottles of water.

Tonight is a load of wash and packing, a trip to the gym, and maybe watch a little tv with my sweetie.

Heavy metal

We started a new lifting program. I was looking for something simple, effective, and not overly time consuming. That meant compound lifts without a lot of fluff. I stumbled across Stronglifts and we decided to give it a try. You lift 3 times per week, alternating between 2 different workouts. There are 5 exercises and you generally do 5 sets of 5 reps, progressively increasing the weights. I've done each workout once, but so far I am liking it.

We lifted last night, and today I am going to do cardio at lunch.

I don't have a whole lot. Mostly I'm just down.

Take care.

Sad

My mom's best childhood friend died unexpectedly over the weekend. Mom and I are going to Georgia this weekend to visit my great aunt, and we planned to pick Ann up on our way back home so she could come up and stay with mom for a long visit. I'm not ready to really write about it yet, but I just wanted you to know my heart is very heavy today.

I really appreciated Karen's comment on my last post. The 12 session class I'm doing at the VA sounds like it will be more class and less coaching. My hope is that this will provide some additional accountability for me to get me headed consistently down the path to weight loss. Karen made a good point about listening to your own body and not letting a coach talk you into something that isn't right for you. My plan is to take and use what is valuable for me and to leave the rest. If all I get is the camaraderie of a few folks that have the same goal and I don't learn 1 new thing, I will still consider this worthwhile. Having said that, I am open (I hope!) to learning and trying new ideas, and my experience is that generally everyone has something to offer. The first class is on the 13th, so I will keep you posted.

Can I tell you how much I don't feel like doing anything today? I got out and walked a couple of laps already, and entered my food into sparkpeople.

This weekend was weird.  I did not sleep well at all on Friday night. Then I went from dead asleep to wide, startled awake Saturday morning at 7:50. We were supposed to leave the house NLT 8:30 - Jordan had a pupicure booked, and I had a bang trim booked for 9:30. T was supposed to go to the chiro, and we were going to run a few errands.  He didn't feel like getting up, so J-dog and I headed off to the big city on our own. I dropped her, got my bangs trimmed, went to the bank, went to Sally Beauty for hair color, and then picked up Jordan. Check out the cute bow!

I was exhausted so after a bite of lunch, I laid down for a 20 minute nap. Then T wanted to go do the grocery shopping. We headed out to Aldi, then went to Publix for the rest (next town over). Then we went to Target since it was nearby. We ended up getting home at 5 PM - I felt like I had been out of the house all day, and while we were productive, it wasn't the things that were my priority for the weekend. It made for a long, cranky day.

Sunday was better in that I'd had a good night of sleep and woke up determined to work on what was important to me (organizing my desk, organizing the non profit paperwork to get it turned over, and getting our tax stuff together). I did that, and when T headed for big city to the chiro I stayed home and worked on my stuff.

We were planning to have friends over for dinner (which we did), and of course I got the call from mom mid morning. So I was sad, but I just kept plugging away at the things I wanted to get done. At the end of the day, I was tired but my desk & paperwork were organized, the bathrooms were clean, laundry & vacuuming were finished (T did those), and the house was picked up and looking nicer. I was proud of all we'd accomplished.

We had a nice visit with our friends, even though I was definitely feeling a bit "off". But it was a nice distraction.

So a weird, sad, good, productive weekend.

I met a man :-)

Ha ha, not like that!! :-)  (But you knew that since I just got married!!!)

I use the VA for my health care. In checking out the latest newsletter, I noticed they have a "Move It!" program, which is a class for vets to help them lose weight. Since I needed to go in to get my blood work done prior to my annual physical anyway, I called and signed up for an orientation class.

After the lab (which went very quickly), I killed a little time by buying a soda in the cafeteria and reading for a bit. I wasn't sure where the class was, so I stopped at the Information desk. The gentleman in front of me asked for directions to the same place, so I told him I was going his way!

We chatted while we waited for the class to start - he's retired. Got out the Army the same year I did, then worked and retired from that. He's in his early 60s. Anyway, he was very friendly.

The class itself has 3 options: you can have the automated system call you daily and you record your weight, you can do 30 minute one on one phone sessions to review some one the material, or you can take the 12 session in person group class. You can take longer if you need to drop out for a while, or miss a class and need to make it up. I am going to talk to my boss, but I would like to do the 12 week in person class. 

Anyway, B and I signed up for the same session. I think we both felt it would give us a little extra accountability if we knew a friendly face would be waiting.

A friend on fb commented they thought vets should just be able to go to any doctor. I know there are a lot of issues with the system, but I love going to the VA. I love talking to the people in the waiting room. A lot of the staff served in the military - it just feels nice to go somewhere where the people can relate to your experiences, regardless of age or color or whatever.

Anyway, the first class in in a couple of weeks, until then I need to review the orientation packet and get ready to start!

Take care!

Good bye snow, hello t-shirts!

Ah, living in NC. Snow, and then temps in the 60s! Everything is nearly melted.  Because of out trip, we hadn't done any real grocery shopping in 2 weeks.  So this weekend we hit the stores and stocked back up on all the things we'd used up before our trip, or what we were trying to eat down that was left.  Shopping took up a chuck of our day Saturday. Sunday we had the monthly business meeting for the non profit, and visited with friends. So 2 days spent largely out of the house.

Friday we went to the gym for cardio, then Saturday we lifted weights. Yesterday we took as a rest day.

Today is back to normal for me.  T had a teacher workday. so back to the grind tomorrow.

Take care!

Day 3

Given the condition of back roads, distance to office, and the fact that I don't like driving my little Nissan Sentra on icy roads, I opted to work from home again today. T went to run some errands - he can get to Greensboro via interstate, whereas I would need to take a 2 lane country road halfway to get to work. I'm thankful I have the flexibility.

Having said that, I am looking forward to getting back into a routine next week.  I walked the dogs at lunch and we are going to go to the gym for a short workout once I sign off for the day. I have a pot roast and veggies in the crock pot, so dinner is pretty much done.

Last night we sat down and planned out our meals for the week - we have some yummy stuff! A good variety - crock pot meals/ casseroles for busy nights, a new recipe, a variety of meats (included 2 meatless meals). I'm glad that T likes to cook and helps so much with dinner planning and prep - not to mention shopping!

Tonight we are going to work on our budget. Now that we are both working, we are working at combining our finances. Because we are both used to "being in charge" and we have different styles (although similar goals), we are easing into combining things in a way that we are both comfortable with. Again, thankful I have someone I can talk to and plan with. :-)

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. T is a Vikings fan, so football is definitely on the schedule!

We got a little more than this - a total of 7 inches.

Take care!

Still at home

Still snowed in. The dogs and I walked up to Main Street at lunchtime today - nothing has been scraped, so 7 inches of snow has been mashed into a sheet of ice. T ventured out (no real reason, I think he was restless). Since the sun is out, hopefully he will go slow and be fine. At this point I'm not sure I'll be heading in tomorrow either.

We get a channel called "Comet TV". This month they've been doing an Edgar Allen Poe double feature every Wednesday. Last night we watched "The Raven" - a comedy with Vincent Price, Boris, Karloff, Peter Lorre, and a very young Jack Nicholson. We've been thoroughly enjoying our discovery - it's 1266 on our line-up, way out far way from everything else.

Obviously nothing much is going on if I'm blathering about TV! Walking and shoveling snow in the absence of gym attendance.

The big excitement is that I am getting a Varidesk at work, so I can start standing more. Given the length of my commute, I am especially grateful.

Have a good one!

Snow day!

It started snowing early this morning and hasn't quit. I am working from home and T is home as well since school is cancelled.

We've worked around the house a bit while I was taking breaks. At lunch I took the dogs for a walk. It was pretty hard work since they each wanted to go at different speeds and directions!

I have been tracking my food in Sparkpeople and exercising daily. My promise to myself is I would track my food - no calorie goal, just track. Some days have been lower than others, but none have been out of control. And that's the point of the tracking - accountability and control. Step 1.

Some vacation recap

First of all, it's important to know that this wasn't just a vacation - it was my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary. FIL saved to make this a very posh trip for the 6 of us. It was amazingly generous and we had a terrific time. We will definitely go back to Disney at some point, but I doubt we will do the deluxe package that this definitely was! 

We drove halfway down Wednesday after work, stopping at the DoubleTree by Hilton Savannah Historic District. Had a nice breakfast at the buffet then did a quick driving tour (just to whet our appetite for a longer visit!) before getting on the road to Disney.

We stopped for lunch in Jacksonville at a small Lebanese place called Karams - it was really nice! The onto Disney!

We stayed at Disney's Beach Club resort and were on the deluxe meal plan. Breakfast was a sit down meal with entree and beverage (alcoholic or non), lunch was counter service (order and go sit down) - again it was entree and adult or not beverage. Dinner was sit down with appetizer, entree, beverage, and dessert. And 2 snacks. Had it been warmer we would have used the snacks more for drinks, but as it was we really didn't use them - we weren't terribly thirsty and not at all hungry!!

While there we ate at the following restaurants: Raglan Road, Trattoria al Forno, La Hacienda de San Angel, The Swan Resort Fresh Mediterranean Market, and our final dinner was at California Grill at Disney's Contemporary resort. We ate on the 15th floor and watched the fireworks over the Magic Kingdom. At Epcot we rode Soarin’, Spaceship Earth, and Mars Mission. At Magic Kingdom we rode The 7 Dwarfs Mine Train, Pirates of the Caribbean, It's a Small World, and Haunted Mansion.

Everything was first class all the way. I wish I'd been in better shape. I wish crowds didn't stress me so much. But I didn't beat myself up - I took breaks when I got overwhelmed, T was very solicitous to make sure I didn't get over tired or overwhelmed, and it was just so special. 

A part of me was frustrated with myself, but then I reminded myself: You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. I am who I am and we enjoyed our trip and each other's company. And walking over 10 miles in one day is pretty good for most any body!!

Vacation and Disney Recap in the works

There is a lot to say! For now, suffice it to say we had a wonderful time. T really enjoyed Savannah and we will definitely go back.

We had a good time with his family. There were a couple of times I got exhausted and/or overwhelmed (as did he), but T really did a great job of encouraging breaks or even just saying "Hey, we're gonna go relax for a while, what time should we meet up?" We did bail about 3:30 Friday to go back to the hotel for a break before dinner.

Everyone seemed to have fun, the anniversary dinner was spectacular, and I thought the whole trip went really well.  I am so glad they invited us!

Today it is back to counting calories and going to the gym. :-)

Heading out

I am leaving early - we are driving to Savannah for a short overnight, then onto Disney tomorrow!

Have a lovely weekend!

Just do it already!

I am not a resolutions person. I've discovered over the years that my rebellious streak is a mile wide, and if you tell me to do something (or even if I tell myself) I run in the opposite direction. A better way for me is to set small goals and sneak up on the larger ones.

Having said that, I am tired of wasting head space and energy fretting over things to come. Over the years I have gotten better about not procrastinating, but I will still worry & postpone. I'm tired of having a head full of worry about stuff I'm not doing or not ready to do.

I have decided to set a motto for myself this year "Just do it already!" Like Yoda, "Do or do not, there is no try." Either work on it or stop whining about it (even mentally).

Will it work? I dunno, but I won't know if I don't try! My first goal is to lose 5 pounds, and to get my CDs and DVDs organized.

Take care.

Out of the dumps

I was horribly down on Saturday. I talked to mom and she has been too - we agree that we both feel like it's due to the dark and cold and just not wanting to do anything.  Saturday was tough for me.

Sunday was better - I got up to go meet a couple of girlfriends for breakfast. Turns out D wasn't coming and A overslept! She called about 90 minutes later when she finally woke up and felt terrible. We ended up getting together for dinner, which was nice.

Yesterday we ran a bunch of errands. For months our bed frame has been getting progressively squeakier and has been interrupting our sleep. We finally got that replaced yesterday, renewed our Costco membership, and gassed up our cars. I t doesn't sound like a lot, but we had to use mom's car to buy the bed frame and take it home, so we also had to trade cars. Anyway, it was a long day but at the end of it we felt like we'd gotten some things accomplished.

At one point in the morning I just wanted to cry. I really didn't want another "wasted" day, feeling so lousy. It wasn't the greatest day, but getting up and out and getting some things accomplished really helped.

We are supposed to get snow/ freezing rain this afternoon. The ground is frozen solid so anything that lands will stick.  I'm a bit nervous because nearly half my commute is on a shady, hilly, 2 lane country road, and last time it was bad it took T forever on that road. No idea what the next couple of days will bring with regards to weather and schedule.

Take care!

Cold

The snow and ice missed us by about 15 miles, but the cold decidedly has not. What does that have to do with health, fitness, or weight loss? That's easy - I don't feel like doing anything! Actually, what I feel like is one of those iguanas that have gotten so cold they are falling out of trees in Florida.

T has gone off to a cooking class, and I'm in my fleece pajamas, trying to convince myself to take a shower and go do the grocery shopping. It was 9 when I woke up and it's 20 now.

Our den has the dog door and it is freezing down there. We have actually hung curtains to shut it off from the rest of the house.

As I took this photo, I could feel the cold breeze blowing in from underneath those curtains. (The gap is so the dogs can walk under the curtains without pulling them down!)

We are leaving Wednesday for Florida, where it looks like it will be reasonably warm!

Have a lovely weekend!

More thoughts on the close of 2017

Last year got off to a pretty rocky start. I was unemployed and T was maybe 2 months into a new job, which he was quickly realizing was a terrible move. The Florida house had been under contract for nearly a year and hadn't closed. So our stress levels were somewhere around defcon 12.

I set some personal goals, but the reality of 2017 was enduring horrendous levels of stress. The year ended on a much higher note. And there were plenty of good things, but honestly nearly all the year was just covered in a blanket of worry for me.

Weight-wise, I ended the year within a couple of pounds of where I started it. Part of me wants to beat myself up over that. I feel like I'm using the stress as an excuse. T cut that line of thinking short, reminding me that not gaining was its own victory.

We also spent a good amount of time talking about why I regained all the weight I'd lost (and then some). At the end, it all came down to the fact that I didn't feel safe. Not in my relationship, which in turn did terrible damage to my esteem. And just when I was climbing out of that hole came my job loss.

Introspection isn't about excuses - it's about figuring out the why so you can understand how to move on. Right now I am feeling much safer - in my relationship and within my own head. And we are working toward more financial security as well, so that helps.

I hope that in 2018 I can be even more vocal about what I need to feel safe, and what I want in various areas of my life. I have to find the balance I had achieved (precarious though it was) in my time management that allowed me to successfully lose weight while enjoying my hobbies, friends, and family.

Take care.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

Back to work, with the whole team in the office for the first time in a couple of weeks!

It's cold as heck here (single digits). It's not just that southerners aren't used to it, our houses and buildings just aren't built with the same level of insulation, so it's pretty brutal. Luckily I'm headed south in a week! (Wow, I can't believe it's a week out until Disney!!).

T has been sick with a cold, so the last few days have been pretty low key. We did go on a date Saturday - to see the Christmas decorations at Korners Folly (a nearby Victorian mansion) and to a tour & tasting at Bull City Ciderworks. I'd never toured a microbrewery or winery of any kind before, so the tour was really interesting. We sampled probably 10 of the 16 ciders on tap (ranging from a sip to half a 5 oz glass). It was a very nice date!

Christmas decorations are taken down and packed - we just need to carry them out to the barn or over to the (climate controlled) storage unit. The house looks so barren.

Once the lights are down, I always get a little depressed. I hate cold weather, and it's cold and dark. Yuck. It always feels like spring is forever away.

T is back to work tomorrow, wrapping up his long term sub job this week and starting his new full time job Monday. Yay!

Food was prepped and packed. Kettlebell workout completed this morning, although I may do a few more moves this afternoon just to get some movement in - with the temps what they are, I seriously doubt I will do any walking outside today!

Take care.

When anxiety attacks

Yesterday I worked from home. It was nice - I took my car in for an oil change and on breaks put some things away etc., so the house is in better shape.

My son ended up driving back up here Tuesday after work (he took the week off!). He's helping mom with some stuff around her house. We met up and had dinner last night which was nice.

Work has been a strange blend of hectic (it's our busiest time of year) coupled with quiet since my boss is out, and folks have been taking time off throughout the week. Everything is very much not normal - which is both good and bad. (I thrive on routine).

I had a (mild) anxiety attack on the way to work this morning. I'm not sure if it was random (which is possible), or if it's possibly related to the trip to Disney in a couple of weeks. I'm wondering if it was triggered by T's BIL stopping by yesterday and discussing the trip.

Why would a trip to Disney lead to anxiety:

• While I know T's mother fairly well, I haven't spent a great deal of time with his sister or BIL. And his BIL's politics are pretty much the polar opposite of mine (to me, they veer off into wacky territory). 
• I don't do well with crowds.
• I don't do well in situations where I feel like I have no control (and this whole trip has been planned, regimented, booked, and reserved, right down to our designated "do your own thing" couple of breaks).

I am afraid I am going to get tired, overwhelmed, or just stressed and not feel like I have it in my power to do anything about it.

The trip is an anniversary trip for T's mom and his dad is footing the bill, so it's really all about his mom. Which is cool, but I am also nervous since so many things about this situation are pretty far out of my comfort zone.

Just needed to put that out there.

Take care.

And back to work!

I am back at work today. My son & his gf got here in time for a quick dinner before church Sunday (8 pm). It was really nice. Then we rode around a looked at some Christmas lights before T and I headed home.

Yesterday was really nice - the meal was nice, the gifts were nice, and I think overall a good time was had by all.

Now I'm back to work. I hope 2018 brings us all peace, health, and prosperity. :-)

p.s. My son is studying marine technology (i.e. all things about boats)! :-)

Happy Holidays

Here's an idea of helping to spark joy in your life: Reverse bucket list

And here are a few holiday movies I've been enjoying this year: A diva’s Christmas carol, The Spirit of Christmas, 12 Dates of Christmas, Get Santa, Pete's Christmas. And of course the usual classics.

T is off work today so I asked him to clean the house. He didn't sound very enthused, but I don't care. He is also going to make pate, which will make him happy. He loves to cook.

So, T's permanent teaching assistant job starts 8 January! No need to go through the agency or be on 120 days probation since he has been subbing with the school system over 120 days!! Not sure when his health benefits will kick in, but this is HUGE for us. I don't know how much I've written about it here: the school district has a contract with an agency for hiring it's exceptional children teachers and TAs. So they weren't sure how to work it all since he was already an employee, but this is the best outcome. So yay!

Hopefully we can get him off my insurance through work since it is costing a fortune and we will be able to figure out a budget and start making progress on our debt.

I'm happy to say that the year is ending on a high note for my family. Oh, did I mention my son got straight As this semester in college????? :-)

We have so many things to be thankful for this year. It has been a dark year in so many ways, I hope next year is brighter for us all.

It's coming quickly

Christmas seems to be sprinting toward us this year. I finally mailed my cards out, and we put the lights on the tree last night.  If Susie doesn't seem too interested, we'll put decorations up this weekend.

We saw "The Last Jedi" (loved it), I bought my last gift, and I finished making my son's wrench bag (I made a custom bag for his large wrenches).

All in all it was a productive weekend but I didn't overdo it. We got food prep done yesterday to set us up for success. Today is just walking & kettlebell swings. Maybe not the best workout but enough to count. I needed to work through lunch today.

It's going to be somewhat busy at work, but the team seems to be ending the year on a positive note, so that's good.

Take care.

Where did the week go?

Friday what!?!?!?

T got offered a full time job by the school system!!!!

It's nice to be loved

It's great to hear that someone loves you, it's even better (in my book) to be shown you are loved. Last night T made dinner, went to the gym, got air in my tires while I took a shower, then cleaned the kitchen. Lordie am I lucky.

Today I am going to put on big girl panties yet again and go to Wal-yuck for a couple of items. After THAT, the gym should be a piece of cake! LOL

Sunday we roasted a 15 pound turkey. I vacuum sealed some to send with my son after Christmas, but we are also using it for meals this week. Last night was turkey, tonight is turkey quesedillas, later in the week will be turkey & dumplings, and I'm tossing some in to my lima bean soup (don't judge me, I love it) for lunches. T started his month long substitute gig so I wanted something easy for us to work with to build dinners around. He is making salt & pepper tofu one night though - it is really excellent.

Assuming I survive my foray into retail he!!, I will be making my way to the gym for a session of HIIT. I am also doing some weights today in the form of 200 kettlebell swings.

Take care!

I did it

I went to the gym.

I did NOT want to go, but I put on my big girl panties and did a HIIT workout. I ate my packed lunch, and got my butt into the office.

All of these felt like nearly insurmountable obstacles for some reason today.

Sometimes I am ridiculous.

Jump in where you are (blogus interruptus)

I had typed in the title Friday when my boss came in - we decided to bail early due to the snow. We got more than expected, and because it was supposed to be above freezing, no one thought any would stick. The result was roads that hadn't been prepped, schools that were forced to dismiss early, and school systems that didn't regretting it when buses were in accidents.

It took T 2.5 hours to make a 30 minute drive - I had to go the same route plus some, so I am VERY glad that I left work at 1:30! I was home by 3 - he wasn't too sure when he would be getting home. Hwy 109 is a hilly 2 lane, and it was BAD.

Anyway, I posted that title to remind myself to just start now and not worry about where I wish I were.

Busy

This week has been hectic. I needed to work at home Monday, so I'm in the office today.  I've tried to peck away a bit at a time on the stupid long "to do" list. At lunch I went by the post office and picked up stamps and worked on the little newsletter (a short note and a couple of pictures) to go in with the holiday cards.

The dog trainer was a no show for a second week in a row, so we requested (and received) a refund for the class and will try again at a different location after the holidays.

Last night and tonight we are eating leftovers - thank goodness for leftovers! It keeps us from eating out or eating crap. Tomorrow is lasagna soup in the crock pot. It's a new recipe, so I hope it comes out well.

T has a job interview Friday - fingers crossed!

Take care.

Thanks

First, thanks Karen for reading and commenting! If you don't follow Karen's blog, she's lost weight and successfully maintained for several years now. It's worth reading a maintenance blog for many reasons - including the fact that it's nice to be reminded that long term weight loss is possible, and an honest look at the reality that it remains work. I think a lot of times people have unrealistic expectations about what happens when they lose weight.

The weekend was really good. No, we didn't get much Christmas decorating done. I did finish all 12 of the dog scarves! We deep cleaned the great room, did a bunch of laundry, went on a DATE, ran errands, and talked. And got some of the Christmas decorations up.

Like me, T is a worrier. Sometimes that's not good. But it is good when we can sit down and talk. I know he is worried about retirement, but he keeps moving forward. We are planning to sit down with a financial planner in the near future. I think knowledge helps curb fear, so sitting down with a pro and getting a plan in place will be helpful.

I really think I am going through menopause - I feel hormonal all the time. Ugh,

Take care!

Friday - better

This just seems to have been a rough week.  I've felt tired and really behind the curve as far as Christmas. The holiday is supposed to be about enjoying friends and family, but there is a lot of built in pressure.

My plan is to work on things this weekend, see what I get accomplished, and then adjust my schedule going forward as needed.

Despite the frustration with the health insurance thing, overall things are going well.  A lot of great stuff has happened this year, and the only large piece we need to fall into place is for T to find a full time job.

I just get so frustrated with myself.

Okay, have a god weekend!

Binge

A couple of days ago, Katie over at Runs for Cookies wrote this:

"During a binge, I felt okay because I just didn't care about anything in that moment. Afterward, however, I felt so much self-hatred for it. There was never a part about binge eating that actually made me HAPPY. It either numbed me or made me hate myself."

I have binged the past 2 days - for the first time in months. Cheese of course. I'm not sure why. I find this to be a troubling development that requires some serious reflection.

I'm okay, but concerned.

Take care.

Ugh

A half hour meeting ran nearly an hour over - didn't get to the gym at lunch.  T's healthcare cost is going up 480% next year. We can't speak French or I might consider fleeing to the great white North. Funny not funny. Ugh. Calgon take me away.

Thanksgiving Weekend Wrap-Up

Well hello!

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. We did. My son and I agreed that we had enjoyable days (and meals) but it wasn't the same as what we normally have. Having said that, I didn't spend hours cooking and cleaning! We took our pies, enjoyed our visit, and came home with no leftovers.

Saturday mom and Jan came over - they loved the dog scarves I made for them. We had a nice meal and did a bit of decorating - T was tired and ended up taking a nap!

Yesterday we deep cleaned the kitchen, to include emptying and cleaning the fridge and freezer. It was long overdue, and the kitchen looks much better. After that I worked on more dog scarves for the grandpuppies and T worked on the yard. By the time we sat down last night we were exhausted! I barely made it into the shower, and I finally gave up trying to watch my beloved Steelers - I only made it until halftime.

I got the trees & wreaths out of the barn. We aren't going to do any major decorating in the living room until we've done some deep cleaning in there. T isn't excited about the prospect, but agrees that it needs to be done. So that's on the agenda for next weekend. I guess it's weird to be doing "spring cleaning" in the winter, but it'll be nice to have it done.

I have a lot to say - about food & exercise, finances, Susie and her continued destructive habits, but I'm going to save those for later posts.

Take care.

Tday minus 1

Remarrying means melding family traditions into a way that works. We've both made some changes in how we celebrate the holidays compared to before we were together. For Thanksgiving, it has been simpler to simply let go of "my" family celebrating it in any way that looks traditional.

If I were to make the meal the way I've done in years past, I wouldn't have time to go to T's family holiday. And why? We have essentially the same meal at Christmas, my son won't be here, so why do all that work for just mom and ex-MIL?

Tomorrow morning I will get up and make the pumpkin pie (T is making apple) - that's what were bringing to the potluck. Easy, not a bunch of work, no leftovers. Then we'll watch football and I'll work on some of my sewing.

I had an adorable fabric I intended to use to make throw pillows for mom and Jan for their birthdays, but now I've misplaced the fabric so I am going to make little dog kerchiefs for them both instead. Here is one from Amazon very similar:

I am making a set for my grandpuppies as well, so pretty much dog scarves for everyone! Huzzah! Lol

Anyway, since their birthdays are both the week after Thanksgiving, they are coming over Saturday and we are celebrating that instead. And we'll decorate for Christmas. I have a strict "no Christmas until after Thanksgiving" rule, but I do love to start decorating the weekend after T-day.

I am in the office today - I came in for an afternoon meeting that was cancelled. BUT I'M NOT BITTER. Ahem.

Anyway, if I don't post tomorrow, have a lovely holiday.

Take care.

Oldies

I was reading through my blog (March of 2005) and came across this: “I am ready to just be a woman instead of the large woman. I am ready to be a triathlete instead of the fat chick doing a triathlon. I am ready to be a runner instead of the fat woman out jogging to lose weight.”

Yes.

Depression is hard

No, not mine. I'm not depressed, occasionally mildly stressed but that's about it. T has always struggled with depression, and being unemployed is difficult enough without that. Sometimes it makes him not the nicest person to be around. And sometimes I get frustrated (like today). For example, he's been talking about working in the yard for a couple of months, including today. But when I pressed him about it he got all pissy.  But he's out doing some of it, and it looks much nicer, and weather wise it's a good day to get out and get some fresh air. I know he will feel better for having made progress, but sometimes pushing him is a pain.

Thanks for the good words Karen. I think we all have times when we're "bleh" - that's okay. I'm less quick these days to try and fix or cover them up with food.

I'd like to leave you with a good article: What self care really means

Have a great weekend!

Blah

I am feeling pretty blah today. No specific reason, just general blah. Here is a picture from retrorenovation that I thought was adorable!

There is something about vintage holiday decor. I love holiday decor anyway, but vintage just feels extra homey to me.

Have a good weekend!!

Thursday

I feel like I oversnacked last night - by 300 or so calories. So not a lot but enough to stall progress. Ugh.

I'm okay, very busy day. Will squeeze in 120 kettlebell swings and call it good.

Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!

Obedience class went pretty well last night.  Susie was very nervous, but seemed to be settling down by the end. There were only 3 dogs in the class, so that is a very good thing! Even though we were both tired and weren't feeling it, I'm so glad we did this!

I went to the gym and did HIIT on the elliptical. 5 minute warm up, followed by 5 HIIT intervals (30 seconds all out, 90 seconds recovery), then 5 minutes cool down.  I had the resistance up and I went all out on those intervals, so even though it was only 20 minutes I feel like I got in a very good workout.

Food is fine:

B: 1/2 a wrap with 2 eggs, ultra think slice of cheddar, and a slice of spam.
S: yogurt
L: kim chi fried raice (1/4 c rice, mostly veggies), slaw, and roasted veggies with ranch
S: apple and boiled egg
D: leftover beef stroganoff and veggies

Not too much to say. Tired.

Take care.

Tuesday randomness

Happy Tuesday!

My friend may be getting out of the hospital today!  Long story short: there is an outbreak of hand, foot & mouth (which is a virus) in her area.  A couple of the kids picked it up, she got it, and they think it seriously kicked her butt. That plus dehydration plus the NSAIDs which triggered an ulcer. Doctors are hoping that re hydration plus food plus treating the touch of pneumonia she's picked up will do the trick.

My ex MIL has been really sick and FINALLY got in to see the doctor this morning.  She has diverticulitis. Mom went with her to the doctor because she knew J wouldn't wear her hearing aid (she didn't) and that she probably wouldn't remember/ follow what the doctor said. They sent her home with antibiotics and she is going back next week.

I am doing okay. I went to the gym today and did 120 kettlebell swings plus the Fusion Foundation class. Turns out by "fusion" they mean yoga & Pilates. Only there were no Pilates.  Oh well, I moved around!!

I know I've written about our dog Susie and her destructive ways. She gets bored when no one is home. We are doing walks every evening and car rides.  I think I am going to start getting up and walking her in the morning as well. Obedience classes start tonight.  Wish us luck!

(She looks so innocent doesn't she???)

And I thought I would share this website I found: Fifty Fierce  I haven't read too much but so far I am enjoying it.

Okay, I hope you have a great day!!

Back to the grind

Good morning.

I hope you had a good weekend.  Well, my friend is still in the hospital. I went over and did some laundry and light housework, watched the little ones, and saw a million episodes of "Sofia the First". They will don't know what is wrong - they've done a million tests and I know she is getting SO frustrated. I hope she is on the mend soon.

Mom came down with a mild case of food poisoning Saturday night - the boy was uber busy (but no side trip - a friend that lives near the auction site went for him, so that worked out). Upshot was not a single walk on the beach. That's it - I'm deprived and I'm afraid I will just have to go back :-)

Lunch & snacks are packed, headed to the gym in an hour or so.  Back to the routine.

Take care.

Happy Veteran's Day

I am having a very bleh day. Had a frustrating experience with a credit card company - got it straightened out but just frustrating. My son wants to make a quick side trip tomorrow while we are down there - not realizing it's a 4 hour one way trip not 2 hour. I am babysitting tomorrow for friends - wife is in the hospital and they have no idea what's wrong (very concerned). And my ex MIL is sick so mom and I will probably have to take her dogs with us to the beach.

Nothing major - just a lot of little hassles, you know? Groupon is having a $10 off your purchase sale today, so I paid $2 for a groupon for a tour of a local place that makes cider. It's the tour plus tasting plus 2 pint glasses to take home. Since we both like cider it seemed like a fun little something we could do close by.

I lost a half pound this week, which isn't breaking any land speed records but I continue in the right direction! 3 weeks in a row baby!!!

Have a good weekend.  If you served, thank you.

Thursday

Sorry, no catchy title today.

It's been a busy day at work and I needed to use my lunch hour to run errands.  Yesterday I worked at home and I used my non commuting time to do some food prep for my son & his girlfriend. Mom and I are headed down to Wilmington this weekend to visit.

I am starting to get ready for the holiday season. I have several ideas for gifts that are sewing projects - I am excited to work on them. I love the holidays and I love that T loves them too. My ex always hated the holidays - and his depression/glum coupled with his need to get a crap ton of gifts made it less fun for me. Now I can enjoy them with complete abandon! :-)

I'm doing okay. I good friend is really sick - she's been sick over a week and they 'think' she has a virus, but she's at the hospital for the second time in a week.  I'm going to head over and babysit for a while so her husband can run some errands Saturday morning - they live near my son. They've got 5 kids so I know it's been a mad house.

Anyway, we are doing well.  Oh - yesterday while I worked from home I made myself a standing desk and used it most of the day. I loved it! They are talking about maybe getting them for us at work, that would be cool. It was so nice to not sit all day. I moved around a lot more.

Take care.

"There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don't allow yourself to become one of them." - Ralph Marston

Good morning.

Yesterday when I got to the gym, 2 of the 3 ellipticals were in use. I decided to do a workout video instead. (I don't like working out right next to someone, weird, I know.)  I did the 20 minute basic kettlebell video - there weren't a lot of kettlbell moves in it, but it was enough a good basic workout. Add to that two 12 minute walk breaks and then we walked the dogs in the evening (maybe 10 minutes?). That adds up to about 55 minutes of intentional exercise - not too shabby!

Last night I used a leftover baked potato skin to make loaded baked potato skins - a little cheese, some bacon bits, green onions, and less than a tablespoon of light sour cream. I had those and 1 beer while watching football.  Dinner was the tamale casserole with roasted zucchini.

Breakfast today was 1/4 of a chorizo link, 1 egg, and 1/2 a whole grain wrap.  (Breakfast was 165 calories - too small, so I added 12 almonds when I got to work). Here is what I've packed for the day:

A cup of chili, a big salad, 2 apples, a boiled egg, and some dressing. I used 1 T of store bought kalamata olive dressing which I stretched by adding juice off the pepperoncinis. Not pictured are the 12 almonds (I keep a small bag in my desk and portion them out).

Dinner tonight is Korean tacos with kim chi slaw. Basically marinated beef with kim chi slaw. It's a really yummy recipe - I'm looking forward to it!

Take care.

Routine is liberating

"Routine is liberating, it makes you feel in control. A paradox, isn't it? You think your routines are controlling you, but in fact you're using the routine to give you power."

Friday exercise: 2 x 10 minute walk breaks at work, 25 minutes on the elliptical to include 6 x 15 second HIIT intervals. HIIT intervals not only serve to break up time spent on ye olde hamster wheel, but I think it also makes it a more effective workout.

My exercise goal is to work up to 90 minutes per day, 6 days per week.  Yes, that is A LOT. But think of it this way: I work up to 2 x 15 minute walk breaks at work plus a 30 minute workout at lunch. I've just gotta add 30 more minutes - walking the dog in the morning or evening. (We already started walking the dog some evenings this week). When you break it up into 4 different sessions, it isn't such a big deal. And that's what helped me last time I was successful: I worked out in the morning, walked at lunch, and worked out in the evening while my son was either at tae kwon do, or walked while he was at the reading tutor. I did several bouts of exercise per day, did a longer session one weekend day, and took a day off.  I need to replicate that.  Right now it's just a matter of deciding how much to add and what to add. I want to add kettlebells back in, maybe some weight lifting, and I really want to get in some swimming!

Here's the food I packed today:

The salad has roasted brussel sprouts and beets, plus an oil and vinegar dressing on the side. That is a Thai flavored soup with turkey meatballs and some noodles.  Not pictured are 2 bottles of tea and the almonds that will go with one of the apples for a snack. Breakfast was half a whole grain wrap with a single serving of guacamole and an egg. Dinner tonight is a meatless tamale casserole.

Change of plans

When I called T to let him know I was on the way home, he told me he'd forgotten to thaw the steaks and that they were frozen solid.  My suggestion was to thaw the spaghetti (meat) sauce we'd planned to eat tonight and save the steaks. So last night was spaghetti and tonight will be steak. Even a month ago we might have been tempted to just go out. Maybe that was the response he was hoping for - I dunno. I do know that eating at home is not only cheaper, but it's SO much easier for me to stay on track.

Other than dinner, the rest of my food is the same as yesterday except sub out leftover Asian meatball soup for the potato leek at lunch.

I've lost 3 pounds over the last 2 weeks, which feels like a pretty good rate.

I thought I'd share this image - I really like the message:

I'd also like to share an article I read on CNN. It's about a follow-up study on people who had been on the Biggest Loser, and differences between the groups that kept off weight and those that did not: Biggest Loser Study

The interesting take away from the study (to me) is that diet is more critical while losing weight, but it isn't enough to keep it off - you need to incorporate a good amount of regular exercise, which meshes with what I read on the blogs of maintainers. Even if their activity is regular movement and not planned exercise per se, they are still physically active. To that end, I am trying to stand more at work, take walk breaks, and exercise at lunch most days.

We will be out of the house most of the day Sunday for a business meeting of our re-enactment group - the meeting is 2 hours away. Ugh. We are both officers and I wasn't there last month due to the Georgia trip, so I really need to go. So Saturday is going to be slam full.

Have a wonderful weekend!

You haven't come this far just to come this far.

This is a photo of what I jokingly called the "5000 pound salad."  It has half a head of romaine, cucumbers, roasted zucchini, chickpeas, 3 bean salad, cherry tomatoes, beets, I don't remember what else! It was really good!

Food today:

B: 2 eggs and a slice of ultra thin sliced colby jack in half a whole wheat wrap.
S: A packet of Carl Budding lunch meant
L: The giant salad and the last of T's homemade potato leek soup
S: 100 cal greek yogurt
D: steak, baked potato, roasted brussel sprouts, sauteed mushrooms.

Speaking of dinner, I was rather disappointed in last night's recipe - it is getting voted off the island! Not nearly as good as our other Asian meatball recipes. Oh well, you don't know unless you try.

I noticed today that it is getting easier to walk around the building on breaks. At the gym I incorporated a few short HIIT intervals into my 25 minute workout. I am beginning to feel lighter.

Things are changing.

Just start. Then don't stop.

So this was breakfast today:

Sorry, I forgot to snap the picture before I chopped it up.  It's 2 eggs, 1/4 link of chorizo (just enough for flavor) and an individual serving cup of the Tableside brand chunky guacamole. 268 yummy calories. I also had a cup of coffee (2 T half and half plus a splash of unsweetened almond milk).

I stopped and bought 2 bags of candy on the way home last night - we had 3 sets of trick or treaters. They were adorable! We had maybe a third of the candy left - it is going to work tomorrow.

I've been blogging here for a very long time, and reading blogs even longer. When I first started reading, there weren't too many out there. I loved the sense of community they created. We read each other's posts, commented, and really shared our experiences.

Today so many blogs feel overly curated - professional grade pictures of just so outfits and food, more sponsored posts, less posts about actual feelings or life. There are blogs that are clearly written for the reader - and there are blogs that the author is using on their own journey but choose to share. I write and personally prefer the latter, but I feel like they are becoming an endangered species. That's why when I find a truly heartfelt blog or post (like yesterday), I want to share it.

This year I bought a Jarrahdale pumpkin from the farmers market for pie making. This picture doesn't do justice to it's blue green color - it's less gray in person. It will be cooked this weekend!

The post I shared yesterday really resonated with me - I get motivated relatively often, but determination has been lacking.  Right now I am focusing on cultivating that quiet determination. It's easy to get discouraged when I realize how much weight I have gained or how much fitness I have lost. Going to the gym and doing something - even if I am holding off on the classes to give my back a break - is non-negotiable. If I don't feel like it, I just acknowledge the feeling and go anyway. Putting my food into SparkPeople feels like a bit of a game. And when I plan in advance, I know my food for the day fits into my parameters.

Right now I am very fired up and my husband is not. I am trying not to nag, but to be a good example and to make it easy for him if he wants to go to the gym. I am planning and making healthy meals, Today I served homemade potato leek soup and a big salad with homemade dressing for lunch. No asking what he was in the mood for - just "I am cleaning out the fridge and here is what we are having." He enjoyed it. When we were out running errands, I steered him toward the healthy snack section with me (I had a string cheese, he got a cheese slice & salami combo snack pack) rather than the candy bars.

I don't want to nag, but I know he needs this change as much as I do. Maybe if I take him along for some of the ride, he will pick up steam on his own. And if not, well, at least it's some progress.

Tonight's dinner is this recipe: Lemongrass chicken meatballs in broth. I thought it sounded really good - I've been on a meatball kick lately, and this will be the third Asian meatball I've tried. The last 2 have been fantastic and both T and my son have loved them - as have I. Using ground chicken or turkey makes them healthier.

Take care.

Feeling good

As I was driving home yesterday, I realized I felt more positive & happier than I have in well over a year. It was great!

Yesterday was a good day. I put my food into SparkPeople, I went to the gym, I drank my water and stayed within my calorie plan. It felt good. I don't know whether my mood made that easier or taking control of my choices left me feeling more positive - but I'll take it!

Today is on track to be more of the same - food is entered into Sparkpeople, I've been to the gym, and I walked some on break with a friend just to get some fresh air.

I'd like to share a post with you: http://www.runsforcookies.com/2017/10/motivation-vs-determination.html  I think it does a great job of differentiating between motivation and determination. I'm not sure I've completely flipped that switch, but lately even if I mess up, I just keep trudging on. That feels really good.

Take care.

Quiet weekend achieved

It was a lovely weekend.  I didn't get everything done I'd hoped, but we rested! It was so nice. I am feeling so much more relaxed and positive - it's awesome.

I dropped a pound last week, slow start but heading in the right direction.

Food is logged into SparkPeople, gym bag is in the car. I am increasing my time on the elliptical to 25 minutes this week. My low back and abs are still sore, so they are resting up and I will get back into it much more slowly! It's sad to see how much fitness I've lost. Oh well, I will improve from where I am today.

Still sore

My midsection is still pretty sore from the fitness test Monday plus 400 kettlebell swings I did over the course of 2 days. I did 40 swings this morning and I was very uncomfortable. I think I will drop back a little. The object isn't to hurt myself to the point I don't exercise!

I am working at home again today. I am so thankful I have this flexibility with my current job.

I don't have a lot to say today. Very much looking forward to a quiet weekend.

Take care.

Do your clothes bring you joy?

Today I plan to use my lunch break to pull out and organize my winter clothes. Pants are pretty much pants and my shoes are where they are, just need to check for knee highs to go with shoes  - I'm still in sandals but it's time to put them away :-(

It's mainly shirts and sweaters - I haven't really used them since we moved in this house (I wasn't working last winter). So that's on my list. I think I have enough, just need to organize so they are easy to find in the morning.

Jeans are a bit problematic. I have 3 pair that theoretically fit, but one pair? I just honestly hate them. They are labeled "boyfriend cut", whatever on earth that is. I think it means your boyfriend has the legs of a elephant - the legs go straight down and are wide. I am short, so you can imagine. They look beyond awful. I am seriously thinking of just donating them - I hate them so much I cannot imagine ever leaving the house in them.

I am far from a clothes horse. I was perfectly fine in the Army when the toughest fashion choice I made in the morning was whether to wear jungle or jump (combat) boots. I view clothes in a fairly utilitarian fashion unless I am going out on a date. But even for me, one of the more frustrating things about being overweight is lack of choice in clothing. Do I wear the back shirt or the one that looks like it's covered in cat puke??? Ugh.

So I ended the day yesterday doing 9 laps around the building at work, going to the gym, and 200 kettlebell swings. I am taking today off since I pushed it pretty hard 2 days in a row.

Last night T went to a Toastmasters meeting. I texted him and asked him to call on his way home. My plan was to ask him to stop at Sheetz and pick me up an order of fried cheese curds. Thankfully the meeting ran late and by the time he called I was already in bed asleep.

Fall weather is here

Yesterday was rainy and yucky - we actually had tornadoes! But today is lovely and the air is so fresh and nice. I love it!

I did go to the gym to lunch today, even though I really truly did not want to go. I've done 3 of my 5 sets of swings, and 3 laps around the building and it's not even 12:30. Go me!

Sunday I didn't snack after dinner at all, last night I had 1 cookie. Our friend brought us Tim Tams from Australia - I generally don't even bother with packaged cookies because I think most of them are yucko, but these are good. You can buy them at Target, but those are made here in the USA with high fructose corn syrup and are a not half as good as the real deal. So once in a while I will go in and get one. So good.

Anyway, all in all I am feeling good, and positive. Much less stressed and wrung out. This weekend we are going to do some house and yard work. I'm looking forward to it. Tomorrow I work at home and I'm looking forward to that as well.

Take care.

Wellbeats

Yes, this is really happening. Ugh. I haven't even gotten my fall decorations up yet!

We went to the event for about 5 hours Saturday and had a lovely time.  Saturday night T fell out of bed and really hurt his hip. We were both out of sorts yesterday and it wasn't pretty.  Luckily we both slept better last night so hopefully this evening will be more pleasant!

I am on track to complete my 200 kettlebell swings before I leave the office.  It's raining so we only got in 4 laps around the building.  I did go to the gym.

The gym has this small-ish room like most gyms have for classes.  Instead of instructors, they have a computer kiosk with a system called Wellbeats . You click into the system and select from a menu of classes on demand.  If you go to their website, they have various programs made up from the classes. I selected their "get started" workout plan. It's 4 weeks, 4 days per week, with a guided program laying out what classes to take. Most are less than 30 minutes.

Today I did the "basic fit test" and wrote down my results. It will repeat at the end of the program. I like that I have something organized to do rather than just randomly selecting a class. I've never seen anyone using the room, so I don't think access will be an issue.

Meals are planned and I have an ambitious goal for the end of the year: 20 pounds in the 10 weeks left. Even if I don't make it, if I only get halfway there I will be proud of me!

Take care.

Less stressed, but it was a close thing

Okay, kind of a long story.

We got an email last week saying that our insurance enrollment period had been moved forward 2 months to align with our parent company. My life event doesn't give me the usual 31 days to make a change since it falls within the enrollment window. Adding my son and new husband to my work insurance would cost a lot of money. Right now they both have insurance from the exchange (ACA), but enrollment for that doesn't open until a few days after our work enrollment period closes, so I can't compare the plans and costs. (Not to mention what a mess ACA is thanks to gov't trying to sabotage it). ANYWAY. When I asked if I could have 31 days from my wedding date since it was a life event and was told "no" I got VERY upset. I sent a letter to HR just saying how much their out of the blue change with no notice was hurting my family and potentially our bottom line. The head of HR called and we talked about it. He double checked and confirmed that if we elected not to renew either through ACA that would act as a "qualifying life event" and I could add them when that insurance runs out. Thank goodness. For a while I was really sweating where on earth we were going to come up with over $600 more per month for health insurance!! And I still may have to if the ACA goes belly up, but at least for now, we will have the chance to compare and make a choice.

Anyway, it's been a very stressful week at work and at home. The dog has decided to destroy the house every time she is left alone, and T worked 3 days this week. We've gone through 2 dog doors, but we think steel screws may save the 2nd door.

We were supposed to be going to an event this weekend, but we are just going for the day Saturday. I am too exhausted to do any more than that.

I'm tired.

Today

Today I am feeling stressed and worried about money. I need to work on just accepting things that I cannot change. T is looking for a job, I can't control when he will find a job.

It's just hard.

Road trip!

Okay. Yesterday I went to the gym and did 20 minutes on the elliptical, did 200 kettlebell swings with a 15 lb bell, and walked 5 laps around the building (15 minutes). I tracked what I ate.

Today I got to work 30 minutes early so I can leave at 4:30. I walked 3 laps and knocked out a quick 40 swings so far (not too shabby for 8 AM).

Last night we planned meals through Monday and T is prepping my breakfast (turkey meatballs).

I am happy, and I feel good.

And..... we're back to baby steps

This has been a wonderful, crazy, hectic week. Mom and I are leaving for Georgia as soon as I get home from work tomorrow.

Tonight, T and I will sit down and make a meal plan and a grocery list. He will do the shopping while I am gone. I will come home to a house with groceries, clean laundry, and he will prep any food I request. (Yes, I do know how lucky I am. I lived in opposite world for many years.)

Baby step 1: Be prepared. Have a meal plan and the food to execute. Have something realistic for our schedule. T is working 3 days next week so that means crock pot, casserole type stuff, or quick and easy.

Baby step 2: Use the gym I signed up for. Bag is in the car and I am headed out soon.

Baby step 3: Keep liquid calories out of the house. Enough said.

You eat an elephant one bite at a time.

Crazy week

So, we're not having a honeymoon (obviously). We don't have the money and I don't have the time. We are looking at going to DC next month though.

Our friend from Australia is a former professional chef who loves smoking meats, making his own bacon and sausages, and food tourism. In other words, T's long lost twin! Lol

Monday I had the day off so we went up to Boone and Grandfather Mountain. Yesterday they went to Asheville. Today I am working from home so we went and had bbq in Lexington. I think they've both had a wonderful time. S is flying out tomorrow afternoon.

Mom and I are headed to Georgia this weekend to visit Alma - she is definitely slowing down and her memory gets a little flaky. It's been 3 months so we are definitely due a visit. I used to really look forward to them, but honestly not so much any more. I love her very much and it's hard to see her sad. But I know our visits are very important and I am thankful I am able to help her in some small way.

Mischief managed

We did it!  The day was beautiful. And as a surprise, a friend flew in from Australia!!! Now I am back at work and back to reality.

Yay!

Working a little longer, then headed to the beach. Pictures to follow.

Coming together

The final pieces are coming together. I found my spanx (what????), picked out which shoes to wear until I remove them at the edge of the sand, and got my nails done.  My natural nails are very thin and brittle. Add to that the facts that I have short, chubby fingers (not matter what my weight) as well as shallow, wide nail beds. Overall I don't like the way they look. I'm sure we will want pictures of our rings, and I want to feel pretty. So I went and got gel nails. I have no idea whether I will keep them, but probably not for long.

It's been a super hectic morning, trying to whip up a casserole before work so I had it ready (going to get my hair cut this evening), and getting a few things organized while on breaks (I'm working from home today).

We are going this afternoon to pick up our marriage license. In the midst of the sadness and helplessness, I am trying to focus on being grateful and happy for what I have right now.

Take care.

Intentions thwarted

I went back to Anytime Fitness today. My original intention was to go and check out the weight room. it was full of guys (well 4, but it's small), so I ended up doing 15 minutes on the elliptical (Yosemite) and 5 minutes on the bike (Loire valley).  Why did I feel uncomfortable going and using the weight room? Because I'm overweight? Female? Both?  Oh well, at least I exercised.

T is subbing today - PE at an elementary school.  I suspect he will go to bed by 8 PM.

Take care.

Happy Monday

We spent the weekend reclaiming the house and generally getting a lot of stuff done. The weather was amazing, and I woke up refreshed. Then I turned on the news. The whole planet seems to be destroying itself, or we're destroying each other.

And amidst all of that I'm putting the last minute touches on my wedding planning - a time that should be joyful. And is, but still, it's hard when there is so much bad happening to so many people.

I went to Anytime Fitness at lunch today even though I didn't want to. It's less than a mile from the office.  The equipment is very nice - the cardio machines have individual televisions. Have you ever seen those "scenic walk" videos where it looks like you are running/ biking/ hiking through nature? They have that - I did a virtual hike through Arthur's Peak National Park in New Zealand - it was lovely.

Work is still crazy. I got my jewelry picked out. Hold on to the good stuff.

Take care.

Huh

Rode over at lunch and got a brief tour and a fob good for 7 days at Anytime Fitness. Pros: close to work, small but has what I need, seems pretty quiet at work Cons: $36 a month with a required 12 month contract.  They don't do month to month. :-(  Until T has a job I just dunno.....

Goals

T has a job if he wants it at a new restaurant which sounds very exciting, but the pay is crap. Had a fantastic first round interview for another restaurant (employee owned chain) - pay is double plus benefits. But the schedule would be more challenging.  Still, the wage gap is ridiculous.  So I dunno. Anyway, he has to complete the interview process.

I have set a goal for myself of 200 kettlebell swings per day (I've done 120 so far today) and 30 minutes of cardio - I've walked 21 minutes so far.  I printed out a free 7 day pass for Anytime Fitness and I am going at lunch tomorrow to take a tour.  We'll see.

Monday we had a rotisserie chicken for dinner, last night was salmon burgers, a friend is bringing dinner tonight, and tomorrow I have a Stouffers chicken and rice casserole with steam in bag green beans. We;ll eat out Friday, then this weekend I will magically get our house, food, and wedding stuff all sorted out.

Summer is back

I spoke too soon about fall weather cause it was HOT this past weekend! It was a mighty hot weekend to be camping is all I'm saying.  So, I ran a medieval weekend long event for 300+ people and it turned out well!  So yay that's behind me.

Work blew up last week and is still a mess.  Work at home is cancelled, which is a shame because my house looks like there was a home invasion and they dropped off a bunch of dirty dishes and laundry. We haven't had time to shop so meals are ... creative.

T may have a job - he has an interview with a difference outfit tomorrow.  He might have a job nefore the wedding, which would be awesome!

Still some stuff not finished about the wedding (mostly around food). But overall I'm feeling better than I have in quite a while.

Better

Feeling better today.  Figured out a strategy of dealing with the tenant and her crazy realtor. Made progress on some items.  Carrying my lists with me everywhere both for reference and so I can add to them as I think of stuff.I could use a little more time between me and this weekend but I can get it done.

I love fall and the weather here is beginning to ease up just a bit. Even though I have stress and a lot to do, I am also feeling very positive and hopeful.

We ordered silicone wedding bands from Qalo so we would have something for when we are working in kitchens etc. and didn't want to wear our "nice" bands.  We love them!

Y'all, I am getting married! :-)

Full Up

Today I am full up of stress.  I feel like I have a million things to do for this weekend and am not remembering them all.  My ex tenant's ex realtor is trying to bully me into releasing the house deposit, but I know if I do I will never see a dime of the nearly $4K she owes me in back rent. My work computer is being a PITA.

Once again, I find myself feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. I seriously need a break. 

Accomplished

I hope you had a nice weekend!  Mine was as planned.  Mom came and we got the linen closet done (YES!) and I helped her fill out some pre surgical stuff on the doctor's website.  She is having cataract surgery in a few weeks.

Very busy week this week - I have 3 dr appointments (eye, skin, and dentist) - all routine maintenance, but glad to get those knocked out of the way. And then Friday we are headed down to the site to get ready for the event.  Y'all, in the days leading up to this stuff I always wonder why I volunteer to do this crazy stuff!  But my reward is some down time .. In November! :-O

There is an Anytime Fitness here in the town where I work.  I hate to pay for a second gym membership, but the weird thing is I really LIKE going to the gym.  I think my plan is to take advantage of the good weather and walk outside as much as possible, and then hopefully by the time the weather is lousy T will have a job and I can justify $35 a month for a second gym.

Ok, have a great day!

Happy Friday

Things are going to be slowing down a bit soon and I am looking forward to it. I am running a large, weekend long event next weekend (250 or so people), and then just 2 weekends later is our wedding! And then some peace and quiet! :-)

I am lucky to have found a walking buddy at work, so we generally walk on our lunch hour. Today is gorgeous so I am really looking forward to getting out there.

T has a month long assignment with the school system - it's actually NOT subbing, he's going to be helping them replace their laptops. But hey, work is work, and he's a super techie guy, so it's up his alley. He continues to be mildly depressed about being out of work. We are dealing with it, but it isn't always easy.

He is headed to an event up in Virginia this evening, coming back late tomorrow.  I enjoy being home alone from time to time, he is more of a people person that me. Mom is coming over and we are going to organize my linen closet, have lunch, hang out, etc. Having moral support for decluttering projects is very helpful. Lol. So, some alone time, some working around the house time, some time with him on the sofa watching football. Sounds like a good weekend to me.

Take care!

Still not adjusting

I love, love, love my job. I prefer working in the office.  The commute doesn't bother me.  But the chunk of time it takes out of my day continues to be an obstacle between me & the gym.  Today I am working from home (which I do one day per week).  Getting up & going to the gym, taking a shower, and making a good breakfast (protein shake) all before 8 AM was no problem. Waking up at 5 AM to go? Heading out at 7:15 after I've gotten home & eaten dinner? Neither of those things seem to be happening consistently.

If I go just 3 days per week, I can walk, do videos, do kettlebells the other days.  I am not making exercise a priority, and it shows. Not just in my weight (which is barely budging), but in my energy level. I am so tired of feeling tired!  I have have HAVE to make this a priority!

On the plus side, I keep trying different ways to make it work, I haven't given up making this thing work.