Summer will return tomorrow

Our weather has been really up and down - the last couple of days have been damp and cold, tomorrow will be sunny and 80.

We are better, although still have some sniffles. This weekend we did some stuff around the house, but mostly just relaxed. I can't tell you how glad I am to have the house in Florida sold!

Fall, maybe

We went to the beach for the Labor Day weekend.  Along with the rest of the state.  Besides wanting to go to the beach (always), we wanted to pin down where we would have the wedding and I wanted to do some food prep for the boy. Their schedule has been nuts, so I came down, did some shopping, did some food prep, and we left them with a clean kitchen and clean laundry.  Yes, he is certainly old enough to do it himself, but sometimes lending a hand is more about moral support, and sometimes your kid needs some protein bars and a couple of home cooked meals in the freezer.

I came down with a summer cold yesterday morning, then T came down with it 24 hours later. I'm working at home, he's laying in bed playing on his phone.  It's been cold & rainy. Yesterday he went out and did enough grocery shopping to get us to the weekend. We got home much later than expected Sunday (thanks holiday traffic) and there was literally pretty much no food and nothing but water in the house to drink.

We have not gone to the gym or done any exercise, right now we're just resting up, drinking plenty of fluids, etc.

T has been in a real funk, which I understand, but it's been hard for me as well.

Take care.

Friday!

kettle-bell swings: 10 2-hand, 10 each side, 10 alternating
clean & press 10 ea side
bent over rows 10 ea side
squats 10

Have a good weekend!

All the right moves

Things I  did yesterday:

• Tracked my food on my fitness pal
• Went to the gym
• Washed my face and brushed my teeth - AM and PM (I'm a compulsive tooth brusher but sometimes I do a quickie job with the evening face washing!)

Go me!

I got home late and naturally didn't want to go to the gym, but we'd agreed we were going to have to suck it up, buttercup.  On the way home from PA, T gave me a big talk about how I might get mad at him, but that he was going to remind me how my lack of fitness impacted our trip as he dragged me daily to the gym. The tables were seriously turned yesterday! LOL  But we went and did 15 minutes on the elliptical.

Today I packed my food

Yogurt and lunch meat are snacks, salad and leftover Mexican casserole with brusselsprouts is lunch.

I bought myself a 15 pound kettle bell and it is sitting under my desk. So far today I've done 40 swings and 20 clean and presses.

I am convinced my little choices are going to pay big dividends if I am consistent.

Take care!

Back at it

We are going to the gym this evening.  I am counting calories in my fitness pal.

TGIF

Down 1.8 pounds this week.  We are getting married 8 weeks from tomorrow.  Gah!

Me & my fitness pal

T convinced me to join Myfitnesspal.  They have an app, it makes tracking your food easy, etc.  And I'm sure it does, but I am used to sparkpeople.  I know how to use some of it, but haven't figured out entering my recipes or how to scan food with my phone.  Yes, I've begun tracking my food again. I'm aiming for around 1500 calories a day, but the main thing is to stay accountable ALL DAY. What I don't enter I track on paper.

I'm glad we decided to be responsible and come on home - T got a call yesterday at 5 for an interview today! Woot! I get that for schools, lateral entry candidates are the least desirable simply due to the amount of paperwork - not to mention they are essentially an unproven asset in the classroom, but still... school is right around the corner! :-O  This job search has really gone down to the wire, which is surprising considering how this state is in a teacher shortage.  Worst case scenario, he is approved to substitute teach next year, but obviously a full time gig is a lot more desirable.

So many good things are coming together in my life right now.

Take care!

At home today

I am working at home today and it has been so nice.  I had a couple of things I needed to take care of in the nearby bigger town, and I was able to get that done at lunch. I was able to wash a load of work clothes and make a deposit at the bank.

And that is the down side of working 60 miles from home.  I love my job and I love going into the office, but it's nice to have 1 day to do the little things at lunch.  It lets me focus on the bigger things on the weekend.

Here is a picture of my ring set. Notice Jordan photobombing!  Classic. :-)

Home, again

Well, what used to be my 2 week annual camping trip in PA was 4 days this year (including travel days).  Boo.  But at least I got to go for a bit and see some friends.  We are feeling refreshed and re energized, and spent a good bit of the drive home discussing goals for this year.

1. Now that we've been in the house just over a year, we are fully unpacked, all the rooms are painted, and (except for the bedroom which will happen this weekend), all rooms have curtains up and furnishings and art are set.  I'd still like to purchase some area rugs, but the house is essentially "done."  Next step is to inventory, organize, and declutter.

2. T wants to run the half marathon they have at our event next year. So our goals are to complete a coach to 5K program, then do 5k, 10k, and then finally a half marathon.  I am going to try & do it with him.

3. Continue to work on paying off debt as quickly as possible.

We went into more specifics, but that's the broad outline.  It feels so good to be with someone who is on the same page.  I am a seriously lucky woman.

Take care!

FINALLY

The house in Florida sold!!!!

About last night

There was the healthcare vote (which upset me pretty badly), then my son called asking about his insurance b/c he'd hit himself in the lip with a grinder (stitches), then I got a flat tire a half mile from work. After roadside assistance came, T was nearly to my office - he didn't want me driving that far on the doughnut alone. We agreed to meet at Cracker Barrel for supper. Lady there complimented my earrings - my hand reached up to touch them and I realized one was gone. Then had a lousy meal - order was wrong, the parts that were right the cook put the wrong stuff on the plate, and the hashbrown casserole was only half cooked.

I really wanted nachos & a beer, but I didn't have anything. Go me!

Life in the microwaved sponge

The heat is thankfully leveling off - it's been miserable.

Day 1 of no caloric beverages was successful.  I also managed 30 minutes of exercise.  No snacking last night - I had a god awful stomach ache for some reason - I took some medicine and when I went to bed I still felt crappy, but knew I'd feel better in the morning (which I did).

Tim made an excellent dinner - shrimp louie salad - I highly recommend it. It was lovely to have a cold supper on such a hot day.

Take care.

Challenge this week

Yesterday I decided that I would try to change one thing.  Just one. I thought about my habits - which habit bothered me the most, which habit did I think would be the most impactful? My goal for this week is to not consume any beverages with calories - no beer (real or non alcohol), no wine, no lemonade.  I have a thing of flavored sparkling water for the evenings (no caffeine).

Why this habit?  1) Calories consumed in drinks are probably not as good of a nutritional value. 2) Alcohol and caffeine in the evenings can interfere with my sleep patterns, and I've been having a particularly nasty run of insomnia of late.

It's hot here - like 100.  And this isn't Arizona - our heat is accompanied by humidity.  It's been miserable and my energy level has been non existent. I need to do something to help offset that, and better quality sleep is a good place to start.  

Another week of the dropped blogging ball

It's been a week already?  Whaaaaat??????

T continues to look for teaching jobs.  House deal seems like it will close.  I am still loving my new job.  Life stress seems to be leveling off! Yay!

Busy planning a medieval event for my group in September and a (small) wedding in October. I still have stuff to do to get ready for our (abbreviated) camping trip in PA early next month.  I am struggling to fit exercise in, and we eat out too much.

In short, life isn't perfect, but I'm feeling like my life stress is dropping back down to manageable levels.

Have a good weekend!

TGIF

Jordan says "Happy Friday!"  She went to the doggie spa and they put a bow on her.  I can't tell is she hates it, digs it, or could care less.

Insane weekend

The weekend started when I was less than 5 miles from home Friday night, planning to grab a quick bite and head out. There was an accident right in front of me and I was the only witness to stop. It was clearly the fault of one driver (we had the green light and she made a left turn into oncoming traffic), but I wanted to be sure that 1) they were okay and 2) it wasn't case of the word of 1 driver v the other with no witnesses.  They were okay, but the lady who was hit was pretty shaken (both her airbags deployed) and yes, the other woman tried to say it wasn't her fault.  I ended up waiting 45 minutes for the highway patrol so it was after midnight before we got to our hotel for the night.

The weekend was good but sad.  Alma is slowing down a lot and her memory isn't nearly as good.  This was the first time that she didn't go out to eat with us or stay in the hotel. She did ride down to Pine Mountain and we visited a couple of times.  My son and his gf came down - he hadn't seen Alma in 2 or 3 years. It was a long trip for them, but they turned it into an adventure and saw some stuff nearby, so I was glad. Alma will be 98 in August.  I think she's not happy and ready to go, which is sad but understandable.

We got home Sunday and I cut the very end off my right thumb in the vegetable mandolin, so I spent 4.5 hours at the emergency room.  Ugh. Overall, not the best weekend.

No word on the Florida house, but it's a cash deal so no news is good news?  We got a full price offer, but were already under contract.  And who knows what would have happened.

T got a call from a friend of his parents - he is opening a new restaurant in our area (landlord is kicking him out of the shopping center where he is) and is looking for a kitchen manager.  Since T hasn't gotten much back from the school system, I think he is going to pursue it.  So we'll see what comes of that.

I'm fat.  We went to the gym yesterday.  My boss offered me a cookie this morning and I took it without thinking.  I can't seem to get things together. I feel like a lot is still up in the air, but that's no excuse.

  

Headed south

T is home and resting up after a long drive (twice) and a bunch of yard work.  Mom and I are headed to Georgia as soon as I get home from work to visit my great aunt.  She's 97!

I hope you have a terrific weekend!

Moving on (we hope)

T is on the way home.  The work he did should be enough to satisfy code enforcement. He is exhausted and ready to be home, but feels like he accomplished a lot.

The house is under contract with the flipper for $43K less.  We need to move on.  Fingers crossed that things work out this time.

Happy 4th!

Happy holiday!

T drove to Florida Sunday to deal with the code violations (yard not mowed, pool scuzzy).  It looked terrible.  I'm so thankful he went and I only wish I had agreed and he'd gone a month ago.  In any case, he is getting things squared away.  When my son's friend went over Thursday, there was a code violation letter on the door, so we knew it was urgent that we get that resolved.

It appears that the flipper deal is going through.  We are scheduled to close August 2nd, but will close earlier if we can.  Even though I'm not getting as much money as I would like, I'm thankful we are moving forward.  This allows us to really figure out a budget and prioritize debt repayment, savings, and things we want/need to buy for this house.

T is planning to head home tomorrow.  He's such a great guy.  This is a huge load off my mind.

Enjoy your day!

Is this a home improvement blog?

So we hired a contractor to remove the wallpaper and paint, as well as repair the water damage and paint the ceiling in our bedroom. The impetus for this whole thing was the water damage that insurance was paying for, so we decided to pull the trigger and get the walls done as well.  They only painted where they primed on the ceiling (kinda). I complained so the owner sent a couple of guys out to "fix" it. They half assed it again, and there are paint drips/smears all over my hardwood floors, they didn't cut in, and you can see where they missed spots.

Please note that even though we've asked multiple times, the owner hasn't actually come out to inspect the work his guys did. He offered to send them back out, assured me that the paint will come off the floors (great, you gonna come do that???), and told me how he's losing money on this job.

I guess we will spend our holiday weekend trying to fix this crap so we can move back into our bedroom. I just don't really want the crew back given the mess they've already made on the floor, you know?

Yesterday everything was "poo poo".  It kind of became a joke, but really, I felt like I walked around all day with a cloud over my head.  I don't like feeling that way - I have a lot to be grateful for.  But some days the stress of so many things (house not selling, T's unemployment on the heels of my own), everyday frustrations, etc. just leave me feeling overwhelmed.

I just remind myself it's okay to have those days but to remember that isn't every day.

4th time's a charm?

The house is under contract with the flipper.  He is going to try & schedule the inspection for Friday.  I could use any good thoughts, prayers, whatever.  I need this house SOLD, even if I am letting this guys steal it - I need this over.

The joys of being a grown-up (not)

After discussion, T and I decided to cancel our annual camping trip up to PA.  I am so very bummed, but taking a vacation when we are facing taking a big hit whenever we do manage to sell the house isn't a responsible move.  It's not the trip itself, but we were looking at renting a larger car since ours are both small, plus having to kennel the new dog (Susie) because she is too anxious to spend over a week at my mom's, plus I was taking the time off unpaid - which all added up to a mighty expensive camping trip!

Yesterday I met friends for breakfast, did my grocery shopping, and did the food prep for the week.  Breakfasts are a wrap with my faux gyro flavored ground meat (I had beef in the freezer, so I used that), lunches are bean and guacamole tostadas, snacks are varied: nuts, cheese, yogurt, lunch meat, protein shake, prunes - 200 or so calories of what sounds good that day.

I've quit buying soda at home - I still have one in a restaurant occasionally, but I've cut way back.  So that's good!  At work I drink flavored or sparkling water or unsweetened tea.

T has a job interview starting right this minute - fingers crossed for him!

So yes, we finally set a wedding date! And I didn't realize I didn't post about it, so no wonder you are confused!!!

We were thinking about the end of this year sometime but wanted to see if my son could do it after he got his captain's license.  But he wouldn't be able to in NC, we knew we didn't want a big wedding, we didn't want to elope to Vegas, and we didn't want "just" a JoP downtown.  We were mulling it over in the car on our way to Asheville the weekend before and I popped up and said "If F can't marry us, I'd just like to get married on the beach."  Well, a friend of my son has a friend that is an officiant at the beach! I wanted Columbus Day weekend since it's a long weekend for me and I have virtually no vacation this year since I just started this job.  But T's son was supposed to get married on October 13.  Well, darn if 4 hours later he didn't send a message that they had decided to postpone their wedding a year.

So, we are getting married on the beach on Saturday October 7th!  We are looking at late morning and then going back to my son & gf's house 4 blocks away and having a shrimp boil & seafood & apps for lunch.  And sparkling punch! :-)  It's going to be very small: his parents, sister and BiL, son & fiancee, plus my mom & Jan (ex MIL) and F (my son) and his gf.

So even though there is LOTS of financial stress, life is good. :-)

Stress

There is an inverse relationship between my actual stress level and the stress/complexity level I want in my entertainment. Which should explain why I'm watching LEGO Batman and reading my great grandmother's WW2 romance novels. Don't judge me.

Moving On

The contract on the Florida house fell through.

Friday

Made the tofu stir fry with thai peanut sauce last night - it was amazing.

I bought this dress on sale from Catherine's yesterday:

What do you think of that as a potential dress to wear to an October beach wedding?

The dog ate my peanut sauce

T had planned to make a tofu stir fry with thai peanut sauce for dinner.  The tofu was baked, brown rice made, sauce made, veggies ready to go. We wandered out of the kitchen, being not quite ready to eat.  Imagine our surprise to discover that the dog had reached up on the counter, grabbed the (thankfully non breakable) bowl of thai peanut sauce, and eaten it!  The sauce was mostly peanut butter and soy sauce.  She drank a lot of water last night, but thankfully seems none the worse for the wear!  We went to the diner for dinner.

Random

I think there is one thing many people who are either overweight or have been in an emotionally abusive relationship have in common: they no longer trust their instincts.  It makes sense to me.  Maybe your inner voice has led you down a path of being overweight, out of shape, and/or experiencing health issues as a result of your food choices. Maybe someone in your life (friend, boss, SO) has repeatedly told you that your feelings and responses are inappropriate or wrong. Either way the message is that your instincts are misleading you.

Once the message that you can't trust yourself has been accepted, it's tough to change. I know I took my last job for 2 reasons: 1) I saw it as a new and different opportunity (ignoring the warning signs) and 2) despite telling others and myself that I was okay with the time off, I wasn't.  After nearly 18 years of being the primary (sometimes sole) provider for my family, being out of work made me very uncomfortable.  As a result, I took on a misdefined role for which I was poorly suited. When your boss says "I think we set you up for failure", even they probably have realized their plan was poorly conceived. My response was "yes, you did."

I'm now in a role where I believe I can be successful, but a lot of the time I still feel skittish wondering whether I am doing things the right way.  Am I doing enough? I'm hoping I will feel more confident as time passes (I seem to be so far). I do like this job.

All or nothing

All or nothing is a trap, a fallacy, one a lot of people fall into.  T is the perfect example of someone who lives in that trap.  He lost a lot of weight doing Medifast - which he followed perfectly.  But count calories or practice moderation?  Not so much.  That makes it easy for me to give in.  I need to remember that I am an adult, I am responsible for my own choices.

I looked at Medifast, but it's hard for me to justify spending $600/month for the 2 of us to eat dust packets. I can do a lot better a lot cheaper, but I admit sticking to your own plan is a lot harder for me than just being handed a regime to blindly follow.

Right now there are some great things happening in my life: our relationship is good and we have (tentatively) set a wedding date.  It looks like the Florida house might actually close sometime next week. I am really enjoying my new job.  The last one did such a number on my mind, it has been difficult to let my guard down.  But I do believe that this one may work out really well.

I find that I see myself a certain way, I have a certain "lifestyle" I visualize and say I want to live that way, and then I don't.  I feel like the values I say (at least to myself) I have and the way I live my life don't always align. I find this especially true when it comes to health and fitness, but it's true in other areas as well.  Why the disconnect? What's the truth?  This is something I need to get to the root of.

Friday

House: no news.  Buyer's realtor assures us we're in the final stage and should have a closing day any time.  I countered the offer from the flipper.  Haven't heard back on that.

Saw "Wonder Woman" last night.  I really enjoyed it.  Then I went home and had a slice of cheese and 2 beers, because I apparently am not wonder woman.  But I was hungry. And tired. It was a tough day.  Neighbor flipped out on T because he was mowing the grass at 8:45 AM.  Freaked us both out.  Up till this point, he's been a quiet neighbor.  I took the dogs with us and dropped them at mom's while we were at the movie because I didn't want them home in the event he decided to retaliate.  Maybe I was just being paranoid - I hope so.  But it gave me peace of mind.

We have a very busy weekend planned.  I am the treasurer for our local medieval education group and I need some help with our Q1 report.  The gal is is supposed to help has been working 6-7 days/week, so we are driving up to Asheville to meet her after dinner Saturday. Since Wednesday was T's birthday, we are using it as an excuse to have a nice meal up there.  Since it will be late, I scored a good deal on a cute hotel on a website and that will be his birthday gift - a short getaway to the mountains.

T has not been very motivated to make dinner lately, so I've been looking for recipes that I can prep ahead - either stuff for the crock pot or cookie sheet dinners so he isn't responsible every night, because that hasn't been working out.  Do you have an easy dinner that you love?  Let me know!

Have a great weekend!

Groundhog Day

Oh, just go read my last post - nothing has changed.  Le sigh.

Today is T's birthday.  We celebrated with his folks yesterday and I brought th ecake into the office today.  It won't be making the return trip after work! LOL

The Lady or the Tiger?

Do you remember that short story from school?  Well, that's how my life feels right now.

I finally heard from my realtor.  SUPPOSEDLY (according to the buyer's agent that I don't really trust), the lender is supposed to approve the loan today and we should be able to set a closing date. This house has been under contract since 24 February, originally scheduled to close 14 April. So how confident am I? One a scale of 1 to 10 maybe a 2.

OTOH, I have had an offer (subject to inspection) from a flipper my realtor knows.  It would be cash and he would do the inspection quickly, but the offer is for significantly less that the offer I currently have.

I'd love for this deal to close - the house is worth what it's under contract for, but it has now been under contract for 15 months and I need it gone, so taking the lesser offer just to get it gone v. holding out for a better offer  if this one falls through is looking pretty good.

It would be a financial hit - I was counting on the sale of the house to make up for my long stretch of unemployment, but emotionally and financially I just need to move on. I can't continue to pay mortgage and utilities for 2 houses.

Ugh - being a grown up can be highly overrated at times!!!

Tough Choices

Carrying 2 mortgages for 15 months (10 of them unemployed) has left my finances a mess.  And there's the little matter of T loaning me the money for the down payment on this house, thinking he'd get it back in a couple of weeks.

Fast forward 14 months: he needs that money, the house hasn't sold, the last deal seems to have fallen through (my realtor is in Europe and I haven't heard from her in days), and I continue to hemorrhage money.

Do I take money out of my 401(k) to at least pay T back what I owe him?  I know they say you shouldn't do that, but the penalty is less than what I will pay in interest on credit cards once the intro balance transfer rate goes away.......

Some days being a grown up is highly overrated.

Locked out

Yes, I locked myself out of my google account! :-O

In spite of life's challenges, things are going pretty well: exercise is happening 5-6 times per week, food is being watched, weight is coming off (slowly).

Given the continued life stress, I am grateful things are working.  I try to keep it in perspective and be thankful for the things I have.

I'm here, just once I get home from work, eat, exercise, spend time with T, there's not a lot of time & energy left for blogging.  I'm doing the things instead of posting about the things. :-)

Still checking in on others from time to time, but that's fallen by the wayside as well - for now.

Take care.

Doing okay

I wrote a long post at lunch yesterday - on paper, because I don't feel comfortable posting at work.

Yesterday I walked for 40 minutes and did 3 sets each of wall push ups and squats.

Since we have no vending machines, it's pretty easy to stick with what I pack, although I do have a stash or raw, unsalted almonds in my case in case I get really hungry.

I'm beginning to settle into a routine and I am starting to have a bit more energy in the evenings, although the weekend is still my time to catch up on everything.

Take care.

Checking in

Work is taking up a lot of my brain and energy.  But I am enjoying it, and I believe this is a job where I can be successful.

I packed my food and walked for 55 minutes today.  My next step is to make some flash cards with exercises I can do in my office and pick 3 or so to do every day.

So I am building back up.

Crazy

Home from being out of town.  Work is good but very busy and long days and when I get home my brain is marshmallow fluff.  I am at least walking and watching what I eat.

Life is pretty good - no idea when Florida house will close.  Disgusted beyond belief.

Touching base, in bullet points

1.  Our team is in the company's old, outgrown building.  It is just us. No vending machines - just a break room with a small fridge and a sink.  I have to pack in everything I consume for the day.  This is good.

2. I did a workout video 3 mornings (not much, but something) and walked at lunch 4 days.  Go me!

3.  I am liking my new job - I think it is a much better fit than my last one. 

Survived Day 1

Got up, did a workout video, packed my lunch, went to work.  I think I'm going to like it.

Go me!

Busy week

We had a great trip to the beach but it's been super busy since we got back because I start my new job Monday!!!!!!!

The bad news is that the house didn't close on the 14th, nor on the 28th which was the date in the extension. Lender has asked for an additional 2.5 weeks.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm afraid it will drag on/won't close and I will have missed prime showing season.  These delays cost me $$.  OTOH, I am sick of this SH%&^ and ready to be done. 

BUT... did I mention I got a new job???? ;-)

A surge of energy!

I was feeling crappy yesterday (more on that in a bit) and didn't accomplish anything.  I was feeling pretty overwhelmed this morning but T gave me a hand with a couple of things and before I knew it I had gotten nearly everything on today's 'to do' list done!

I have an interview at 4 (wish me luck).

Yesterday I went to the dr to get an IUD.  That is apparently the new thing in birth control. As a woman over 50 they don't want you on bc pills, this seemed the best option.  I was pretty crampy and felt really rough yesterday.  I was beginning to think I had planned this pretty badly since I have an interview today and tomorrow is my birthday, but I am feeling much better today!  Today is like the worst day of my period, which for me means an OTC naproxen and maybe an ibuprofen - so not too bad.  Dr. said this should carry me through menopause. Woo hoo!  We've had our kids!

Still haven't gotten the rent from former tenant.  Signed an extension to close on the house the 28th (wish me luck on that too!). We will see about this interview - it's a second round interview so we will see what happens!

Tomorrow t and I are getting together with mom and Jan for my birthday dinner and then friday we are headed to the beach to spend the weekend with the boy and his gf.  So it should be a really nice time.

We got really derailed last week, but are back on track with the diet this week, and will add exercise back in the mix as well.

Take care.

Lovely lunch

I met a friend for lunch today, that was really nice.  She is taking the EMT course so has been super busy but had the day off.  So we had lunch, then wandered around a consignment shop & used book store just to visit.  It's lovely to catch up with friends!

Still no word from tenant. :-(  The house was supposed to close tomorrow so that's when the contract expires. Having received the extension request yet, what a pain!

I feel like I am not being nearly as productive as I should, but I am getting stuff done.  I have a follow up tomorrow with my doctor.  They put me on a very low dose of a diuretic for my bp a couple of weeks ago, and she wants to follow up.

Doing okay - not great, but I haven't burst into tears today, so there's that.  Trying to hang tough.

Take care.

Anxiety level 11

My anxiety level has been very high so far this week.  I did okay for the interview yesterday.  I did my best - we will see what comes of it. I finished the online training to sub teach here in my county - I just need to go & turn in my forms.

My former tenant owes me nearly $4k in back rent - I am hoping we can get that resolved this week.  I hope we can work it so the title company which is still holding her deposit can send me my part and give her the remainder. I'll get the money quicker and with certainty.

The buyer's bank had the cheek to send my realtor a very pithy email saying they were hopeful we should be able to close by the end of the month. She told them if they didn't get off their ass there wouldn't be a deal to close.  So pissed about their whole attitude like they are doing us this huge favor to even process the application.  Customer service is dead, I swear! Ugh!!!

Okay, T is out mowing the lawn.  He is helping me today do the quarterly report for the non profit where I volunteer - I am the regional treasurer. I nearly had a panic attack thinking about the report, so he said he would help.  He is awesome.  I am fortunate.

So, anxiety like mad, but trying to just take care of myself and remember that it will subside.

Quiet Sunday

Just a quick check-in.  T is taking the Red Cross class for CPR and first aid.  I am home working around the house and taking the online course to substitute teach in my county.

Got a call from my realtor Friday - sounds like the closing will be definitely delayed.  :-(  On the plus side, I have a phone interview for a project manager job on Monday.  So, life is a mixed bag, but hanging in there.

Have a good weekend!

Let's just forget this one

I didn't really feel like writing about it yesterday, but straight up this has been a shitty week.

Last weekend T was cooking with friends (I wasn't there).  He went to check on the grill - and by grill I mean a HUGE grill/smoker combo.  It was supposed to be lit.  When he got there to check and it had gone out, he re-lit it.  What no one realized at the time, the person who set it up didn't know what they were doing.  The vents weren't open - oxygen wasn't getting in and gas wasn't venting.  When T re-lit it, it exploded. 

Thank god he is mostly okay - it could have been SO much more serious! But he is burned on both forearms, neck, and face.  His lips and left arm are especially bad.  As a result, he's been in a lot of discomfort.  Add my special diet and colonoscopy, and you've had 2 pretty cranky people in this house this week.

I'm just feeling really dejected, demoralized, and discouraged.  I'm ready to move on.

Day 1 Again

I'm feeling much better and things are pretty much back to normal for me.  T is feeling under the weather though. :-(

Today I got my mom's taxes done, so that was good.  She is headed out of town Saturday and I wanted to have them finished so she could go ahead and get them mailed in.

I'm feeling a bit sad, and a bit overwhelmed.  I'm reminding myself that those feelings are normal and I need to just accept them.  I am moving forward, getting things done that I need to.  But it's hard when the house is in that limbo where everything is in underwriting so it's feels like nothing is happening, my tenant hasn't paid rent in 2 months and I haven't heard anything fromher, and it leaves me not knowing what bills to prioritize. :-(

Still and all, I am making progress and have many blessings.

Take care.

Clear liquids only

Today has been a day of fasting, with only clear liquids.  From 5 to 7 I had a drink a cup of the solution every 15 minutes, and drink something in between to stay hydrated. 

I get up at 3 to drink another quart of the prep over the course of 2 hours, give it 2 hours to work, then off to the doctor.  Nothing to drink after I stop drinking the prep liquid. I'm avoiding the scale as I'm sure the numbers wouldn't make any sense.

Anyway, doing okay - looking forward to this being done!

Low fiber

I miss my vegetables.  That's all I got today.

Forgot to mention food - Day 0 for the next few days

I know, me forgetting food! LOL

Friday:

B: protein shake
L: gyro salad
S: protein shake
D: leftover butter chicken with zucchini, cauliflower, and green beans
S: 2 slices of cheese and some mixed nuts

I am having my colonoscopy on Wednesday, so today and tomorrow are a low fiber diet (no vegetables) and then Tuesday is clear liquid only following by fasting until after it's over, then some gentle food.  So I am unable to follow the Metabolic diet for the next few days until I get past the procedure.

I need to stay off the scale since I know it's going to be all over the page.

Take care!

A good day (Day 13)

Yesterday was a good day.  We had lunch with T's parents on the way to my appointment at the VA (my stress management class).  Then we picked up a desk that a friend gave me - she'd been wanting to get rid of it for 19 months and just hadn't bothered!  I posted on facebook about our unsuccessful shopping trip to look for one and she offered it up.  Yay!  I think I will paint it, but I am very excited to finally have a desk!

T is out for the day at a medieval thing I am doing some stuff around the house and enjoying some alone time. :-)

Have a good one!

Day 12 and weigh in

I lost 1 pound this week.  This doesn't sound that great, but after losing 6 last week that sounds pretty darn good to me!

Day 10, nothing says summer like a new swimsuit

For T that is!  I have plenty of swimsuits to last me the next 40 pounds or so lost! :-)  One of the things about having a pool in your backyard - you end up with a lot of swimsuits since you are in and out of the pool so often.  T's swimsuit was too small, so we picked him one up yesterday.  Why are guy's suits so much less expensive that women's?  We got him an OP for like $14, and a nice Catalina for me would have cost $30.  What?????

Food was good:

B: 2 eggs, 3 slices bacon
L: ham and cheese with lettuce and horsey sauce on half a low carb wrap
D: Indian butter chicken over riced cauliflower with sauteed zucchini
S: golden drink, 3 slices salami, 2 slices cheese

One night I woke up in the night hearing this very quiet beeping.  It was so weird!  It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen but we couldn't find it.  Then I went out of town but when I got back it was still going on.  Again, couldn't find it.  Finally the next day after looking everywhere (I was beginning to think there was a fire alarm with a low battery covered by a cabinet or something) we found it: a fire alarm someone had taken off the wall and stuck in the cabinet under the kitchen sink!  What!??!  So glad we found it - I seriously thought we were going to be driven nuts by that beeping!

Okay, hope you have a good day.  T is cleaning the kitchen and then we are off to water aerobics!

Take care. 

Day 9, on plan - and weight lifting

Hello there.

So, day 9 and this is feeling very doable.  I avoid carb foods except low carb bread, wraps, shakes, etc.  I can have 5 net carbs from that group no more than every 5 hours. So carbs with breakfast means none with morning snack, but yes at lunch.  That's the only counting!  We do that for 8 weeks.  So far so good!

Yesterday:
B: protein shake
S: piece of laughing cow cheese
L: burger on half a low carb pita
S: half a fast food salad from Subway
D: taco salad at home
S: slice of cheese and golden drink

We have started lifting weights.  T always needs a program, and I admit that's a really good idea!  So I went through some of my books and selected "The Body Sculpting Bible for Women".  Don't let the title fool you - this is a good program for anyone.  It has an intro level workout, followed by 3 phases. We will probably do this initial phase for 4 weeks.

T was impressed by how good of a workout it was for just doing 2 sets of 8 exercises.  This program definitely gives you a lot of bang for your time!

Tomorrow he is going to try water aerobics with me.

Take care. 

Day 8

This weekend was a quick out of town trip.  We had a lovely time visiting with friends, but it's nice to be back home again.

My doctor recommended I start a low dose of hzct (a diuretic) to help with my blood pressure in the short term.  I'm not happy about it, but am proud that we are doing the things we need to get ourselves healthier.

Anyway, not too much to report.  I still owe you guys dining room pictures.

Take care!

Day 5 and weigh in

Got home a few minutes ago. I had to take a class today at the VA on getting my colonoscopy. Only the military could turn basic instructions into a 1 hour class, complete with slides and handouts. LOL

I know my weight had popped up over the weekend due to TOM, nevertheless I saw a 6 pound loss over the week!  Woot!  This diet feels very doable for 8 weeks (excepting the days of my colonoscopy prep) and seeing such a great result is encouraging me to stick with it.

Last night I found myself with a very high level of anxiety - I am still having periods of extreme anxiety despite my stress management class.  But they do seem to be less frequent and overall I am feeling more positive about most things in my life.  Employment & finances continue to be major areas of stress, but other things are feeling better.  My sleeping has improved on this new diet and exercise plan, which I think has served to make everything else feel more manageable.  

We have gone to the gym the past 3 evenings.  We're leaving town right after an early supper so today will be counted as a rest day.

Food yesterday:
B: 2 eggs and 3 slices of bacon
L: leftover roasted chicken and a salad
S: a slice of cheese
D: 6 oz sirloin, cauliflower au gratin, grilled zucchini and a beer 
S: 3 slices salami, 2 slices cheese

Yesterday was better! day 4

Good morning.

Yesterday was better.  I was in a better mood, things seemed to go easier, it was just a better day.  I made another good dinner and went to water aerobics.

I used to go to water aerobics before I moved and I really enjoyed it - it was a great group of gals and a fun class.  I went last night and my experience was very different.  Not a single person (including the teacher) said hello.  I don't think I looked mean or threatening, so what gives?  I tend to be shy in that kind of situation, so I'm not going to go up and start chattering away.  Oh well, as I told T in the car on the way home "I don't need them to be friendly!"  He asked if I wanted to switch back to the old Y (over 30 minutes away v. less than 10).  Uh, no.  This Y is smaller but perfectly serviceable!  And the class itself was a decent workout.  I will probably continue to go on Wednesday nights.

Food:
B: protein shake
S: none
L: salad and leftover meatballs and cauliflower rice pilaf in a low carb wrap.
S: almonds
D: asian roasted chicken and spicy zoodles.
S: lunch meat and cheese

Last night T was really jonesing for something sweet after the gym.  We came home and I used a vanilla protein shake, added 2 tablespoons of PBFit and ice, and turned it into a peanut butter shake.  He really enjoyed it!  I was glad I was able to satisfy his sweet tooth.

Day 3, and my really horrible, not good, lousy day

So, yesterday.  I don't know if it's the "carb flu" or what, but yesterday was a bear.  I was tired, I was cranky, my stomach felt 'off.'  I was in an overall crap mood and I struggled mightily trying to get stuff accomplished on an internet that wanted to nap instead of work.

I finally gave up on the d^%# internet.  I continued on with laundry, picking up the house, etc.  You would think we live like slobs - we don't, it was just to finish up unpacking.  A dear friend that was my lunch walking buddy for years came over and we went to lunch, so that was nice.  I took a nap.  T tried to cheer me up and I got very frustrated.  I appreciated that he didn't want to see me unhappy, but sometimes you don't need someone to 'fix' it, you know?  Anyway, we went to the gym last night and I did 25 minutes on the elliptical - 5 more than the minimum I set for myself and 5 less than I hoped to do.  But I did it!

Food yesterday was labor intensive (well, dinner anyway), but really good!

B: omelet with lots of veg, some country ham, and cheese.
S: a slice of cheese, and a couple of slices of lunch meat
L: huge gyro salad at the diner.
S: none - lunch was big!
D: spicy turkey meatballs, rice pilaf made with riced cauliflower (this was really yummy!), and sauteed green beans
S: golden drink and lunch meat & cheese

I like to buy the uncured deli meats - they sell them pre packaged at my W-M grocery.  They make a good quick snack and I think they are better since they have less preservatives.  I buy the ultra thin sliced cheese - I could eat my body weight in cheese, so I try to portion control and those super thin slices help.

The golden drink was better!  Maybe the flavors mellowed in the fridge?

Hope I will be less cranky today.

Take care!

Day 2

Good morning.

Well yesterday wasn't too bad!  I did a few things around the house, but kind of ended up taking the day off from mail, dealing with job hunting etc.  I was feeling mentally tired after being out of town for a week, but I planned our meals, did the grocery shopping, did some laundry, and did some cooking. So for a "day off" I got a lot accomplished! 

As I mentioned, my doctor recommended the book "The Metabolism Miracle" which is basically 8 weeks of low carb with a slow carb introduction after that.  You aren't counting all your carbs, really just the carbs in processed foods (stuff like corn, potatoes, etc is not on the initial plan). 

Anyway it wasn't too hard to get the hang of.  I will say we ate a lot more vegetables than normal and that's a good thing! 

Breakfast: protein shake (3 net carbs)
Snack: lunch meat
Lunch: tuna salad on half a Joseph's lavash wrap (4 net carbs) and a cup of loaded baked potato soup made with cauliflower (the recipe was in the book and this was tasty!)
Snack: almonds
Dinner: cube steak sauteed with mushrooms, steamed broccoli, and a salad made with homemade creamy Parmesan garlic dressing.
Snack: golden milk

I think I mentioned we were going to try this whole "golden paste" thing as it's really supposed to help with inflammation.  You make up a tumeric paste, which will keep in the fridge.  Then add some to a cup of almond milk to drink.

I made up the paste, then added some to the milk and warmed.  I sweetened with stevia and added a tablespoon of cocoa powder to each cup.  It ended up tasty like a spicy, not very sweet hot chocolate.  T loved it, I thought it was drinkable.  Since it's supposed to be so great, we will use what I made and see if it makes any difference. I will keep you posted.

If you are curious, this is the recipe I was given:

1 C water; 1/2 C organic ground turmeric; 1/2 C organic ground ginger. Boil until like a paste. Stir in 5 tbs organic coconut oil, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp ground pepper, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 1/2 cup raw honey. (Pepper is necessary to activate turmeric benefits.). Let cool, store in fridge for up to a month. This is called Golden Paste. To make the Golden Milk, add one tsp of paste to 1 cup unsweetened almond milk and microwave for 2 minutes.

I left out the honey and used stevia.  I used 1 tablespoon of the paste for 2 cups, which I heated on the stove.

Take care!

Monday - Day 1

Good morning.  After spending a couple of days at the beach with the kids and going down to visit my great aunt, I am back home.  I missed by bf and my dogs.

I didn't get the job I was really hoping for.  I have to say my initial reaction was "devastated."  I wonder if my age is a factor (I'm over 50), my mom wonders if my weight is a factor (there's a lovely thought!), I dunno.  And in a way it doesn't matter. 

I am dealing with a lot of feelings.  For one I was hoping for this job because it's a good company and I was excited about that.  I really need a steady job since T is very unhappy in his job and his industry is not in a good place right now.  And I really wanted to get something with good insurance, which contract jobs don't offer.  Right now I'm getting my son's insurance through the ACA and I'm depending on the VA, and T's work insurance isn't that great.

So there's the stress of money, insurance (which the current political climate is NOT helping), dealing with the disappointment of not getting something I was really excited about, and the growing frustration that perhaps I'm not ever going to go back to a regular job in corporate America - so what do I do and how do I support myself?

There just aren't a lot of jobs out there, it's very discouraging.  

So there is a lot around work and income that I will probably be writing about here just to get it off my chest - it helps. 

Today we are starting our diet and I am going to get out and go for a walk later - I hope T will join me.  He has band practice tonight.  I could go to the gym, but I'd like to help him get out of the house and moving.

Anyway, I'm home so hopefully I will get to posting more regularly.

Take care!

Time change fail

Yesterday we woke up to beautiful big, fluffy snow falling down.  It was lovely.  We got half an inch which was completely gone by lunch.  Oh well, it was pretty while it lasted and no mess on the streets!

Last night T wanted to watch "Dune" - the mini-series remake by the SciFi channel.  We watched the first disc as I sat and half read half watched.  When the disc was over we realized it was midnight!!  We managed to wake up on time this morning despite our best efforts! LOL

I have been sleeping better!  I have started taking 1 g of Melatonin at bedtime.  It seems to be helping, so I am very glad of that.

T is very much an "all or nothing" person and craves structure.  Setting a calorie goal doesn't feel like enough of a "diet" for him.  So he doesn't stick with it, and then we both end up off plan.  That isn't working.  I'm willing to try a "diet" if some initial structure will help us get started down the path.  Hopefully we will be able to gradually remove the training wheels. 

Since my doctor recommended the book, we've agreed to give it a try when I get back (The Metabolism Miracle).  Tomorrow I am leaving for the beach and even though it's going to be on the cool side I am very much looking forward to it!  It's still the time of year when dogs can be on the beach, so I expect we will both enjoy long walks on the beach every day!  I can't even begin to say how much I love the beach.  I wish I could wake up every day next to the ocean.

Okay, busy day - lots to do before I leave town.  Have a great day!

Take care.

Golden paste and "Metabolism Miracle"

Well hello, look at me, checking in on a weekend!

Just got home after running errands in the nearby city for several hours.  Got a lot of stuff done.

One thing I did was buy some organic tumeric powder to try something called "golden paste".  Basically it's a paste made with tumeric and other spices, which you add to hot almond milk and drink at bedtime. It's supposed to help with inflammation.  A new health craze?  Yeah, probably.  A friend has said it's made a big difference for her energy level, so I'm willing to experiment.  I will keep you posted!

My doctor recommended the book "The Metabolism Miracle" and said it helped her lose 80 pounds.  It's an 8 week low card diet followed by a gradual re-introduction.  1) Unlike Atkins you aren't encouraged to eat butter sticks as a snack (okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration!) and 2) it seems easier to figure that Atkins.  So we are going to try it when I get back.

Next week I am going to the beach to stay with the boy and his gf Tuesday-Thursday, then Friday-Sunday mom and I are going to Georgia to visit my great aunt.  In the interim I am trying to watch what I eat and move more.

I am taking an online class through the VA called "Moving Forward: Overcoming Life's Challenges".  It's supposed to help you cultivate tools to deal with stress when you have those times of multiple, large stressers.  I'm just getting started, but I figured it's worth a shot.

Anyhow, hope you have a lovely weekend!

Still waiting

Still haven't heard from the last interview.  Not insane yet, but getting close.

House sale seems to be progressing - the attorney emailed asking for a bunch of crap, so it seems like they are on the ball.

No word from my tenant, no February rent. :-(

Checked by bp this morning - high. :-(

Annual check up results

T and I went for our annual check ups.  The results weren't terrible, but our cholesterol is high and his blood pressure remains high - further incentive to stick to our eating and exercise plan. 

The dining room is painted!  I was going to hang the curtains last night but the drill died. :-(  We are going to pick up mom's this evening (T ordered a new charging cord for ours).  Once they are hung I will post pictures.  So happy to have that finished!

We were seriously considering having our bedroom professionally done - the wallpaper needs to be removed and the walls will need to be mudded.  Even though the estimate we received was $1100, we were about convinced that it would be worth it.  Then we had to have the plumber out.  We HAVE to replace the line down to the street asap, and we really need to replace the pipes under the house as well.  Total cost including snaking Monday: $9900.  Ouch!  The new sewer line is $2900, which we are getting done now.  The pipes will have to wait a while.  So we may not be able to justify dropping money on painting when we could do it ourselves.  But it won't look nearly as nice, so I don't know.....  The joys of an older home I guess.

I love that T and I can talk about our feelings - something that was seriously lacking in my marriage.  I can talk about the emotional struggle with food and he not only understands, but he asks really insightful questions which help me face those issues.  I am blessed.

House appraisal is today, hopefully things will continue to move along on that front.  I sent my tenant the official "you have 30 days to move" letter via return receipt mail.  I feel sad for her, but glad to be moving on.  This house has been an albatross for too long.

My son's spring break is this week - he and his girlfriend are coming up.  I'm so excited! 

Take care.

Pooped

It was a good but busy weekend.  We were gone all day Saturday.  Sunday we painted the dining room (yes, the painting is DONE!).  Today we got up and T was taking a shower and it was gurgling in the other bathroom, so now we are waiting for the plumber.  We know we need a bunch of pipes replaced (including the one from the house to the street), but we are hoping snaking will buy us some time until the Florida house sells.

Speaking of which, it's under contract, we're done with inspection, and hopefully everything has been submitted to the lender - I asked my realtor to confirm.

Since I'm waiting for the plumber, I've scrubbed the bathrooms.  My son and his gf are coming for spring break Saturday, so the house needs a good cleaning & picking up before then.

Still waiting to hear about the interview last Thursday.  I REALLY want this particular job, fingers crossed!

Take care.

A week of being nibbled to death by cats

Gah.

This has been a busy week, and frustrating week, a week where I don't feel I have accomplished much, but hopefully a positive week!

The dining room is stalled out.  Walls are prepped and primed, but no paint has been slapped on them.  Motivation level for this is not there, although I really want it done. 

I did go to the VA for my annual check-up Tuesday.  In a not surprising move, the doctor told me to get off my duff and lose some damn weight.

Garb for this weekend is stalled out.  I'm midway through making T a viking coat, hood, and leg wraps, but since it's supposed to be 70 degrees Saturday where is the motivation for that!?!? I have gotten the breakfast stuff bought for the event and I'm taking it up to site tomorrow. 

Supposedly we agreed on a repair credit for the house sale after the Monday inspection.  I'm just waiting for the buyer's agent to send the amended contract (ugh, why so slow? Let's get this moving people!).  I had a guy come out to give us an estimate on the crap ton of plumbing work we need to get done on this house the second the Florida house sells.  Hopefully I will be getting that tomorrow, but I am scared.  Basically we need to replace everything under the house, have clean outs added, and replace the line to the street.

Job interview yesterday went well.  I haven't heard anything back from my interview with (insert mega bank here), and I would REALLY like to work at this place (it's the credit union where I've banked since I was 17) and I really, really liked the hiring manager and we seemed to click.  So fingers crossed for that!

Progress at a snails' pace

Okay, T had redone 4 more seams in the dining room.  That room is moving at a snail's pace, but I think we are (finally) ready to paint!

House is under contract, we are negotiating credit after inspection (which came back really good), so I'm positive that we will work that out, but really hope we can move up closing date from April 15th.

More progress

On the dining room front:  we are done sanding and priming.  The walls aren't perfect, but they are good enough.  Moving on to paint.....

Weight: T and I bought a white board, sat down, and wrote out short, medium, and long term goals.  These were mainly focused on our health (exercise, vitamins, water, diet), but we also included financial and other goals.  We are maybe going to sign up for a 5K for the weekend after my birthday.  It's down at the beach and that's a bit over 60 days for now.  Doable and motivational?  I think yes.

Pictures to follow!

Progress

The Florida house is back under contract and the home inspection is scheduled for Monday.  Yay!  That's the point where I can breathe a bit easier knowing we are for sure moving forward. 

We got the first coat of primer on the dining room by the end of day yesterday.  We mudded the seams and are painting over the wallpaper - I think it will look fine when it's done, but I did need to do some touch up mudding today.  The low cut in work is done, so tonight I'd do another coat rolled on and T will do the cut in around the ceiling and we can start painting tomorrow!  Woo hoo!

Next week is shaping up to be super busy, so my plan is to take Sunday to work on the sewing I want to have done for the event the following Saturday (the 25th).

Anyway, things here are going petty well.  Our water heater died, but thankfully T had purchased water heater insurance through Duke Power, and they came out and replaced it yesterday.  Total cost out of our pocket was $240 for a gas water heater that has a 15 year life expectancy, so I think that was pretty good!  And same day! 

Even though I am kinda tired of dealing with ancient wallpaper, I am so glad to see the improvements in the house.  It really is coming together. :-)

Take care!

Good bye wallpaper

Monday so soon?

Well hello there.  I hope you had a nice weekend.

T and I went to the Lutheran church here in town (very similar to Episcopal, but there isn't one of those and T's Lutheran, so there ya go). We really liked the pastor, but he is moving to Wilmington in 2 weeks! :-O

After that, mom and Jan (my ex MIL) came over and we went out to lunch and swapped Valentine's. That was nice. Then T mudded the seams in the dining room - finally going to get it painted this week! So SCA projects take a bit of a back seat as we work on the house.

Speaking of house, got a decent offer on the Florida house, fingers crossed please! They scheduled the close later than I would have liked, but at least it's a decent offer!

We are considering doing Atkins.  This week we are eating up some of foods that would not be allowed (yogurt, 15 bean soup), so we will gradually slide into it.  We'll see how that goes. 

Today is shopping, laundry, and paying bills.  It's sunny but cooler here today.  We are planning to go to water aerobics tonight.

Take care.

Grateful

Good morning.

This has been a very up and down week, with some good days and some very rough days.  My weight is down a pound, which is pretty amazing. 

T and I sat down last night and had a conversation.  I have been living on my credit cards and in a couple of months I will no longer be able to pay my bills.  I am looking for a job, but in the interim I feel like I need to at least look for a part time job.  I was counting on the house sale to pay off all my debt (which it will), but in the meantime I need cash flow to at least slow down the hemorrhaging.

Since I have two interviews I am still waiting to hear back from, he suggested I give myself until the beginning of March, and then start looking.

Anyway, I am still hanging in there.  Take care.

An unpleasant update

About 4 weeks ago, I received a decent offer on the house, which I accepted.  When they went out to do the inspection, my tenant told my realtor that she's cleared the final hurdle to get the loan.  When the deal fell through, I agreed to give the tenant time to get the financing together, even though I felt a lot like Charlie Brown with Lucy pulling the football away (again).

My realtor did her best to be diligent - I have the email from the loan officer assuring us it would close by Jan 27th at the latest.  There were just a couple more items underwriting wanted.....

Tenant got those items in and we waited, and waited... Finally yesterday underwriting came back and declined the loan.  I had another offer but did nothing about for 3 weeks, so I've wasted another 3 weeks.  Tenant first had the house under contract last May.  Nine months I've been going through this, and completely missed peak selling season.

My realtor basically hung up on her realtor when she wanted to launch into a long detailed story about what happened.  Lucy (my realtor) called back the investor that made an okay offer.  They are supposed to walk through the house sometime today.  It's $25K less but at this point I just need to be done with this.

On the mend

Thanks for the good wishes - I am definitely on the mend.  Not 100%, but much better.

Waiting on some word on the house today - supposedly we are closing Wednesday but we are waiting for the final clear to close from the lender.  They've found something to nitpick every time we've gotten to this point.  It's beyond absurd.  Never buy real estate in south Florida!

Nothing from the job I interviewed with a week ago - ugh.  I was really hoping for that one.  But I do have a phone interview tomorrow.  I'd really enjoy staying home if I didn't need money, you know? ;-)

We went to Wilmington this weekend.  A couple of times a year we have an event that is just classes.  I taught a basic sewing and beginning wire weaving and took a couple of embroidery classes.  We had a nice day, saw friends, and got to spend time with the boy and the grandpups.  I just wish we had been feeling better, but it was a good weekend.

Today I am unpacking, doing laundry, picked up some groceries, etc. while I try to stay sane while I wait for some word on the house.......

Here is a picture of viking wire weaving (not my piece, but a beautiful example!):

Sick :-(

The house is still in limbo.  I have a cold and feel yucky.  I got a call and I have a phone interview next Tuesday - so hopefully something will break soon on the job front.

That is all.

Knee deep in chicken!

Hello there!  Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

Friday my mom came and we got the bathroom primed.  Yesterday T did the first coat of paint and today I did the second, so I will hang pictures tomorrow.  Another room tackled!

Friday T attempted to reproduce a Basque chicken dish we had while out in Reno (did I mention he used to be a professional chef?).  It was really good but it was a whole chicken - so a lot for two!  Then we had leftovers Saturday for dinner.  Today he wasn't feeling well, so I made chicken soup with matzo balls for lunch.  We are going to have dinner with friends tonight - she is making chicken pot pie! LOL  And we still have leftover chicken!

I will post before and after pics as soon as I have all the pictures hung and the bathroom is put back together.  This week I am going to focus on a couple of craft projects, but plan to start on the dining room next week.  I also got a lot of cleaning out and organizing done of my sewing stuff that lives in the guest room, so it feels good to be making terrific progress in that room.

No updates on the house.  Ugh.

Take care!

The roller coaster continues

Weight:  I gained 2.2 pounds last week, lost 2 this week.  Hormones?  Poor choices?  Yes to both, but I seem to have course corrected.  It's scary how 1 or 2 evenings of poor choices has such an impact.

As I said, the house deal fell through.  then my tenant came back and said she was ready to close.  Since I don't really trust her or her realtor (believe me, I have reason not to), my realtor asked for that in writing from the lender (which we got).  So we are giving her until the middle of next week, at which point I go back to the low ball but at least in the park offer and see where that goes.  I need this to be over.

I had a phone screening interview yesterday.  It was with HR, but it was an interview.  I think it went well and I expect to get an in person interview with the hiring leader.  They have just started the interviewing process, but I think I would be a good fit for the job.  Fingers crossed!

I am still considering the possibility of opening my own bookkeeping business, but right now I would like the security of a regular, full time job.  We would like to get our finances in better shape and make decisions from a solid financial foundation.  T took a significant pay cut when he took his current job.  It was the right choice - his old company is in a mess and he'd have been laid off by now almost certainly.  And of course his commute was a nightmare.  But we are not getting by on just his income.  

Getting back out there for a job has been just as hard as dipping my tow into the dating pool was.  I was pretty badly burned at my last job - it was a nightmare.

I was given a team of 5 people: 2 worked in other locations and basically did what they wanted.  One told me she couldn't stay past 3:30 on Fridays because her personal training appointment was at 4.  Of the 3 in my location, one was a drama queen, one was the former manager who had been demoted, and one was a younger girl with anger management issues who didn't want to work her schedule but her daddy had been with the company 30+ years.  I was working 50-60 hour weeks and held responsible for anything that went wrong, but not given any authority to fix it.

My intent was to stay until school started back just so there would be vacation coverage but they let me go 2 weeks before that (shooting themselves in the foot, but hey).  The job they described when I was hired and the job I was doing were 2 totally different things.  They expected me to fix stuff they all knew was broken, but given no tools to do so.  The environment was hostile and unpleasant and full of back stabbing.  It was such a relief when I packed up my stuff I never even cried even though it was the first time in my life I'd ever been fired.  Mostly I was just grateful it was over.  It reminded me eerily of how I felt when my husband left: relief. I felt like I'd just escaped an abusive relationship because in a way I had. 

Still and all, the self esteem takes a beating in that instance and it was frustrating because I knew I was a good project manager and the way that team was, I'm not sure anyone could succeed in that role until the higher ups made some hard choices. So I knew it wasn't me, it was a poor fit and a bad situation.  But still. And of course recruiters hear you were fired and don't really want to work with you, so that's been hard.

OTOH, this has given me time to work on the house, do things I wanted, think about what I truly want to be doing, just given me some breathing room.  So overall, the break has been a tremendous blessing.  And thankfully we have been able to manage even though things have been tight.  Always have an emergency fund!!  You never know when you might need it!

Take care and TGIF!

House update

Contract on the Florida house fell through. :-(

Oops!

Well I got busy and suddenly realized I hadn't blogged in days.  I guess it isn't quite a habit yet!

Saturday we went to a business meeting for our historical group and didn't get back home until 3.  A friend was coming over and we made supper, so no painting occurred. :-(  Oh well, we will be home all this weekend with no commitments, so we can get the bathroom knocked out easily enough.

Yesterday I was feeling really down in the dumps.  I interviewed for a job last week, which I did not get.  They wanted more experience in that specific field, which I do not have.  Not surprising, but disappointing.  This whole job search has been frustrating and disappointing.  Ugh.  I am going to look into two things: starting my own small business and some things I can do on the side to earn some income.  I may start writing about those things here.

T was very understanding.  I tell you what, this has been a heck of a way to start off our relationship (well, this time around).  He keeps joking that we are just front loading the "worse" of that "for better or for worse".  He's quite a guy. :-)

I went to the grocery store this morning.  More protein powder - yay!  Costco has their pre-made shakes on sale this month, so I plan to pick up a couple more boxes of those.  Oh, and Aldi had a knock off brand TRX trainer for $20, so heck yeah I bought one!  I really like those things - it's something we can install in a doorway and use 5 minutes at a time.  We are both excited about that.

Have a good day and take care!

Plan B

After 2 nights of very poor sleep, last night was much better!  That was good, because I had to get up extra early this morning for a dental appointment.  Even though I've moved 30 minutes away, I decided to keep my same dentist.  I had a protein shake (I like the Premier Protein - 160 calories - I get at Costco, if I don't make one from powder) and headed out.  After the appointment I was very hungry, loud tummy growling and all, and had a chicken biscuit at Chik-Fil-A.  450 calories for just the biscuit, not a meal.  So I am going into lunch with a big chunk out of my daily 1500 calorie budget already!  Not a disaster, but maybe I should have packed something from home. 

I have accepted an offer on the house in Florida.  It's not as much as I was hoping for, but at this point I am still unemployed and I need as much equity as I can squeeze out of the house, and I need it sooner rather than later.  So that is progress.

T is getting pretty frustrated with his new job, which I hate for him.  But it is still better than his last job.

Yesterday was beautiful and we opened the windows and the doors.  Made a lot of progress in the guest room and the house is really starting to feel homey.    All in all, with accomplishments, the house contract, and a boost of good weather, I am feeling more relaxed than I have in a while.

Take care!

Home safe!

I drove to Charlotte for my interview this morning!  The drive was no problem - the interview was at 11 so there was no traffic.  It seemed to go fine.  It is for a mortgage company.  I have loads of experience in the finance industry, but not mortgage specific.  So it's partly a matter of whether they are okay with someone who has loads for experience with this role but in a slightly different field.  We will see.

Slept for crap last night.  I got an email from my aunt yesterday.  Her partner had surgery to remove colon cancer back in the fall, which was complicated by pre existing hernias.  Long story short: a combination of the complicated surgery, inadequate after care (she was pushed into a rehab facility without the appropriate specialty experience by the insurance company), plus some poor monitoring has led to her needing more surgery months before the doctors wanted to do it.  She's been in the hospital for months, and things aren't looking great.  That plus anxiety made for poor after dinner choices and major insomnia.

Today has been much better.

Progress is happening in the guest room - it feels good to see things improving around the house.  This is a smaller house so it is forcing me to do some much needed down sizing.  I am glad.  My mom has been in her house since 1971 - the attic and storage barn are stuffed full.  She keeps saying she needs to pare down but never does.  My son hangs on to everything so I've jokingly told her I would either call in the guys from that show "American Pickers" or give it all to my son, who would never get rid of anything and it would be kept, untouched, as a shrine to her memory for 60+ years! I'm only half joking. ;-)

Eating was on point until last night, and there was damage, but not too much.  Today has been on point with food.  Mistake made, acknowledged, and now to keep moving forward.

Have a good day!

A bit of disappointment

Good morning!

I hope you had a nice weekend.  Mine was pretty good.  We did get our hallway paining done, as well as some more organizing in the den (T's office).  We didn't paint the bathroom - which is fine.  I'm more disappointed that we both let ourselves transform into tired, cranky toddler/martyrs and acted like sleep deprived 3 years old kids.  Not for long thankfully, but still!

We could have eaten more vegetables and less cheese.

Today is more work around the house - I'm finally ready to tackle the pit of despair guest room.My plan is to hit it in brief but intense strikes throughout the week and be finished by Friday afternoon.  Next weekend we will paint the bathroom.  That will leave us with only 2 rooms to paint!  The hardest ones, but still!

I need to double check everything for my interview outfit tomorrow, and run out to pick up a few random items.  I'm pretty impressed I've knocked out about half my to do list already and it's not even lunch!

Have a good day and a better week!

Weekend!

My bf has had a very rough week at work, so I am especially grateful that it is Friday afternoon.  We aren't going anywhere this weekend - our plan is to do some work on the house.

We have a small hallway that joins the two bedrooms and a bathroom.  When we first moved in this had 2 different wallpapers separated by a chair rail high border.  When we removed it, we realized there were multiple layers of paper and paint and the walls were gypsum board.  We got everything down and my son & a friend were able to mud and sand so the walls are ready to be primed and painted! 

While this house has a lot of great features, unattractive wall to wall carpet over hardwoods, and rooms that either had 1980s wallpaper or contractor white walls did not show it off to its best effect.  We pulled up the carpets and had the floors refinished and are removing wallpaper and painting.  It's hard to tell in photos, but the difference in person just by painting in the living room is amazing.  It looks so much homier!  We are using a very neutral color (except the bathrooms) that is sort of a pale beige meets pale grey and plays nicely with warm and cool tones.  We may change down the road, but it's a good jumping off point.

The scale was up 0.8 pounds this week after being down like 0.6 last week.  I did a big shop today and stocked up on lean proteins & vegetables.

I hope you have a terrific weekend!

Just Whoa.

Do you ever have one of those days where there is just so much that you are left with your head spinning?  So that was my day yesterday.

In no particular order:

1. Smelled burning plastic in the kitchen.  One outlet was VERY hot.  The circuit it is on has a fuse that is too big, so instead of shutting off it was overheating.  We moved most things off that circuit until we can get new fuses and replace that outlet.  Scary.  Oh, and we hadn't bought a fire extinguisher since we moved in - but we have one now.

2. The saga of 1 million excuses (aka "why my tenant has been trying to buy the house since May but hasn't closed the deal") continues. The latest is that we expected situation #9572 to be resolved this week, nope looking at 3 more weeks or so as a best case scenario.  I've dropped the price again.  I'm getting lots of showings, but I'm near the end of my financial and emotional ropes. I have too much equity to just walk away, but ARGH!!!

3. Did get a call about a potential job, and a callback for an interview next week.  The bad news is that it's 3-4 hours per day in commute time unless I find a place to stay during the week down in Charlotte. Still.. see my "near the end of my financial rope" comment above. So if the company seems good and it seems to be a good fit I will take it.  Maybe if I prove myself they will be open to some flexibility?

4. Got a message from my ex husband's now ex girlfriend. (Did I mention he dumped her on Christmas day, but is locked into a lease so is sharing a house with her and her 6 year old daughter until June? And has taken up with someone else he's known for a MONTH and they are trying to have a baby??). "I am truly sorry if I every caused you any pain. When S and I started seeing each other, he told me you guys were over. So I never thought that he was cheating on you. The shoe is on the other foot now and I see how I probably hurt you."  No shit, you've known me for like 20 years and you take up with my husband of 15 years and you think I might find that hurtful?  Don't worry - I took the high road, which happens to be the truth and told her she did me a huge favor and I am much happier now that I was with him.  Oh, and I swear the people I know that do live in a trailer park don't act half as white trashy as my ex.  Sheesh!  Thank you lord I'm out of that insanity!!!    

Ugh.  Just .... ugh.  Some good, some bad, but too much roller coaster and not enough kiddie ride! :-O

We're back

Our trip was really lovely.  We got home late Sunday and I spent yesterday doing laundry, unpacking, etc.  T had to work so I picked up the dogs.

Susie was glad to be home.

 Jordan wasn't as glad Susie was home.

Finally she just went to bed. Our bed.

Today I am making chicken stock from the Christmas turkey carcass.  I applied for a couple of jobs - one through an agency and one through a friend of a friend, so maybe I will get some response rather than throwing it down the black hold that most jobs boards seem to be. 

We got a fair bit of snow here while we were gone and the roads were icy yesterday.  Today I am staying home and just using a workout video.  I have plenty of protein powder for AM shakes, frozen leftovers for meals, and I made a loaf of bread yesterday so we could have a tuna melt with a cup of soup for lunch.  I need to do a big grocery shop later in the week.

It's good to go, but it's good to be home as well!

Packing up, heading out

Since we are flying out of Raleigh at 7:15 AM, we are staying overnight with friends.  So after dinner we'll be headed that way.  I got up this morning, fed us (protein shakes) and the dogs (kibble & homemade wet food), then threw a load of laundry in the wash and cleaned the kitchen.

I then sat down, balanced my checkbook, paid my bills, and sobbed.  I mean loud, wet, red faced sobs.  If I had to have a big problem (say, money or a family member with serious health issues) then of course I'd choose money issues any day.  It's only money!  OTOH, I am faced with some nerve racking choices in oh 30 days or so if something doesn't break.  So yeah, big sobs.  T has been a trooper and continues to be a source of strength and support.

Then I calmed down and did some ironing and folded the clean laundry so we can pack our suitcase.  (We are sharing since it's a short trip and they charge per bag). It's a busy day - gotta get Jordan to my mom's and Susie to the kennel for boarding (she isn't integrated enough into the pack to leave with my mom for 5 days) plus pack up her stuff, pack my stuff, fix supper and give the kitchen one more cleaning, make sure trash is out and nothing in the fridge will spoil etc.

I watched an interesting documentary yesterday called "The Barkley Marathons".  They describe it as the "toughest race you've never heard of".  And yeah, it sounds unreal tough.  And I have no interest in ever attempting it, but the founder of the race made a lot of good points about people trying something and being okay with failing - so many people don't/can't handle failure and this is a race that only 10 people finished in the first 25 years it was run.  It's on netflix streaming if you are so inclined.

Anyway, I am not taking a computer so don't expect to hear from me until Monday.  Until then take care!

Well rested

I slept last night - woo hoo!  Went to bed around 10:30 or 11 and woke up when T's alarm went off at 7.  I let the dog out, then dozed a bit when he took a shower.  Then up, fed dogs, got myself dressed & us fed, then took Susie (the new dog) for a walk down the street.  She did great on the leash!  Susie was at the shelter for nearly 3 months after being picked up as a stray.  We're not sure what her story is - she's 2.5 years old and not really house trained.  So she's a project dog, but she's smart and sweet and crazy about T.

Here's Susie:

And the dog I've had for 9 years or so, the amazing Jordan J:

We've been having protein shakes most morning.  After we used up our tub of Muscle Milk, I checked the nutrition on the protein at Aldi.  For 10 more calories a serving, it has nearly double the protein of Muscle Milk.  170 calories and 30 g protein, and the less than $1 per serving.  It's not as cheap as eggs, but it's quick and easy and the price isn't bad.  I just buy vanilla and if I want a different flavor I add things like PB2 powder, chocolate powder (the stuff you bake with), frozen fruit, etc.  Lunch has been generally leftovers from the previous dinner or a cup of soup, salad, sandwich, etc.  We are trying not to each out much - hard when you travel, but it's just easier when we are at home.  It helps we live in a small town with very few dining options - at least ones we're interested in!

Hope you have a good day!
Take care.

My #1 health priority right now

It's not what you think.

One huge down side of all the stress that I've been under is that my insomnia has gotten absolutely out of control.  More nights than not I'm awake 2-3 hours in the middle of the night, and that number is usually closer to 3 (sometimes more).

As a result my bedtime and get up time vary weirdly and frequently I wake up like I did this morning, feeling drugged.  I occasionally resort to a Tylenol PM, and melatonin (which isn't always effective).  There are many things I cannot control (will my house in Florida ever sell, because I really need the money pretty badly), but there are some things I can do that will help.  And being well rested makes it so much easier to stick to a diet.

So that is my top priority when I return from Reno.  Well, that and talking to my realtor about what I can do to dump the albatross.

Robo-vac

I got a Bissell robo vac for Christmas.  I love it!  Here is what the dogs think:

Thankfully no terror or chasing it, just a bit of mild curiosity.  It helps that it's surprisingly quiet!

Happy New Year

Weight was down 2.4 pounds this week - go me! We did stay up until midnight last night - T didn't want any champagne and I hated to toss most of a bottle, so I settled for a gin & tonic. :-)

Christmas is all packed up and ready to be put away.  I need to find my suitcase and start staging myself for the trip to Reno.  I am excited!

2015 was very much about getting over losses and 2016 was about trying new things (some worked, some didn't).  2017 will be about settling in to the things that worked - the new home, new relationship, as well as trying some more new things.  While I am looking for work, I am also pursuing the possibility of starting my own business!  So something very exciting, challenging, and completely out of my comfort zone!  More about that when I discuss the whole job thing that went down this year.  It really gave me clarity around what I wanted to do - and what I didn't. So I am grateful for that even though there was also a lot of fear and anger.

I hope 2017 is kind to you all.  Take care!