Snow-prise!! :-O

WELL!

Remember how I said they were predicting snow?  They are - for tomorrow night.  But it came last night as well. Snow-prise!  We didn't get a lot, but the roads weren't salted, people weren't prepared, and the roads this morning were horrendous.  Multiple multiple car accidents - on the interstates.

So.... I am working from home.  I CANNOT skip exercise, so I am shutting the dogs out of the bedroom and doing a kettlebell video.  That's a good weight workout AND an excellent cardio workout as well.

Food has been good today as well, but I changed it up a bit.

Breakfast: turkey burger with spinach again, but added brussel sprouts, (no sugar) marinara, and 1/8 cup of mozzarella.
Snack; deviled egg
Lunch: brussel sprouts, green beans, and 3 campari tomatoes all diced up with a chopped up chicken thigh and some homemade curry sauce.  It was a HUGE plate of food and the leftovers will be my afternoon snack.
Dinner: deconstructed reuben with some vegetable alongside.
Snack: 3 T hummus and cucumber.

For me, it's a lot easier to stay on track if I keep my veggie consumption high.  Besides feeling better because I'm eating nutrient dense food, I'm more satisfied.

Another thing that helps me a lot is that I make my own sauces.  Barbeque, ketchup, salad dressings, marinades - I make my own for the most part.  Not only is it A LOT cheaper, but I get exactly what I want and the quality I want.

Anyway, I thought I would go ahead & post since I am here at the house. 

Have a good day!! :-)

Mischief managed :-)

Okay, after work I ate supper and went to the Y.  It was hardly my finest workout, but I went.  Naturally they are calling for more snow. :-(

Food has been good today!

Breakfast: turkey burger with avocado and salsa
Snack: deviled egg
Lunch: salad with grilled chicken and homemade vinaigrette
Snack: banana and 12 almonds
Dinner: Mexican casserole (with homemade polenta) and brussel sprouts
Snack: 3 T hummus and cucumber

I put everything in Spark People, so I'm tracking again.  No change on the scale this morning from Friday.

Hopefully my son will get everything wrapped up this week as far as the move.  He plans to come up here on Friday - Saturday is his birthday.

I'm off to get cleaned up, watch a little tv, and hit the sack so I can do it again tomorrow.

Have a good evening!

Back home

Back home safe and sound!

It's tiring to drive down and back in a single weekend.  But I didn't have any time off and we wanted to go - it's been since early December since we visited.  Thankfully the weather was good (warmer and sunny) and we were able to have a really nice time.

She's doing well - a little slower, a little more forgetful, but still healthy and doing well.

I got home and knocked out the food prep, doing laundry, unpacked, and ready for another day tomorrow.  We may have some snow showers tomorrow morning. :-(  I didn't bring my work computer home - so hopefully the roads will be okay!

Alright, I'm off to enjoy some down time and check out the class schedule at the Y!

Hello from warm(er) Georgia!

Good evening!

So I am down here near Lagrange Ga, visiting with my great aunt.  For those of you that haven't been reading a long time:  this is where my mom grew up.  My grandmother's last remaining sibling (and closest sister) still lives here in an assisted living facility.  We come down every 3 months or so for a visit.  We were here in December, and have booked a long weekend in May for a cabin by the lake.

We got up at 5 to get here by lunch.  We took her out for lunch and I had a nice meal (beef tips, green beans, turnip greens).  We hit the thrift shop that benefits the Humane Society, went by the country store for jelly, put flowers at the cemetery, went by the grocery for fresh fruit, gassed up the car, and finally supper (catfish, slaw, a couple of fries).

Now we're in the hotel, Alma has had a nice bath (dead lifted her out!), and we are relaxing.  Tomorrow we are driving by to NC so I can go back to reality!

Today I am grateful for the fact that I have good genes.  I come from 2 families where the women live to be well into their 90s with their minds in good shape (for most of them).  It's no guarantee, but hey - it helps!

Have a great evening.  I may or may not post depending on what time we get home.

Have a good weekend! :-)

Touching base

I'm packing to head to Georgia in the morning.  I'm taking my computer with me and plan to post while I'm there.

It's been a yucko week here - just like most of the rest of the country.  I've been sitting around at home since the roads are icy after dark, half heartedly doing exercise videos and half heartedly staying out of the kitchen, for the lose.

Goals for next week: stay away from sugar & flour, go to the gym (at least twice), track food, get on scale. 

After that, I need to work on a plan for building gratitude.

Have a good evening! :-)

Good morning

I am heading in to the office in a couple of hours.  The roads were pretty frozen this morning, so I opted to wait until the sun is up before going in.

Not much to say.  I'm here, doing .. eh, okay.  Just kinda .. eh today.

Take care!

Snow day!

Yep, working in my fleecies! :-)

I am working and listening to a documentary on guys competing for Mr. Olympia.  It's pretty good. Doing a workout video before lunch. Not my favorite thing to do.  Honestly, I'm not sure if the benefit isn't more mental than physical, but movement is movement.

My son is heading back to Wilmington tomorrow.  They have a lot to do as far as moving his grandpa's boat, his trailer & little boat, then his houseboat.

We may get more snow/stuff tomorrow, and they are saying we may get more this weekend.  Mom and I were planning to go to Georgia this weekend, but she is thinking we may need to cancel.  We'll see.

I am very thankful for this day or so at home, even if I am working.  Stuff down at the beach is VERY stressful.  I don't want to go into too many details, but there was a very bad fight between my stepbrother and everyone else (my son, his grandpa & grandpa's wife).  It was very ugly.  The boy was counting on his uncle to help him move stuff and now that isn't an option.

I definitely got off track.  I'm doing MUCH better, still not where I want to be, but much, much better.

Even though I am right here by the fridge, the mental break outweighs that.  I don't feel particularly tempted by the proximity of food.  Right now wanting to feel good, to feel the way I do when I'm exercising & sleeping well & eating right FAR outweighs the taste of anything that might be in the fridge.

Take care & have a wonderful day!

Preparing for snowmageddonapocolyse

Here's the thing:  snow in the south works a little like dog years.  So, 3 inches in NC = 3 feet in Boston. :-)

It's not that we're wussies who can't drive in the snow, although no we don't have a lot of experience driving in the snow.  That's like me calling someone stupid if they can't speak Russian.  That's probably not a skill a lot of folks use. Same thing.

Also, we simply don't have all the plows & stuff - it doesn't make fiscal sense.  We have some of course, but not many.

And lastly and the main point: we rarely get pure snow.  It's usually mixed with sleet or freezing rain.  Sometimes we just get straight up ice.  This is snow & sleet that we're getting now.  So I'm working at home in PJs tomorrow.  Woo hoo!

I am going to do a workout video here at the house tonight.  Dinner is in the oven and I'm already in my fleecies - I'll switch to workout clothes when we do a video.

Have a good evening!

Preparing for a storm

Good morning!

I hope you are having a nice weekend.  Mine is going well.  Yesterday I was very busy with food prep.  Today I am doing laundry and some sewing on my son's curtains.

Speaking of which, my son is coming up today to spend a few days here.

We are supposed to have a winter storm Monday night and Tuesday.  We really haven't had much of anything yet, so I am looking forward to it.  We frequently get sleet or freezing rain rather than snow.  I'm hoping for some pretty snow.  Inclement weather is the only reason we can work from home, and I am looking forward to a couple of snowbound days at home with my family - even if I am working!

Still lots of stress, but I've pretty well pulled out of my overwhelmed funk.

My month of yoga is up.  I've enjoyed it, but I think yoga is something I want to do a couple of times per week.  I've missed swimming and even the elliptical! :-)

So anyway, that's what going on with me.

Take care, have a great rest of the weekend!

Have a nice day!

Back tomorrow!

On the mend

Just a quick note.  It was a good day.  Got a nap, and I was feeling better after that.  Took care of the laundry, checkbook, paid a couple of bills.  Took a nice walk in the park and worked on the curtains for my son's boat.

Tonight I am playing around with making pincushions, like this:

I feel much, much better.

Take care!

Taking it back

When you wake up at 2 AM and are awake until 5 AM stressed about your stress?  Something's gotta give.

Our son has to move by the end of the month - so there's a lot of logistics to work out around that.  And MIL is manufacturing drama, for which I have zero tolerance.

Work is crazy - I had 9 meetings yesterday.  I have more to do than I have time.  So I'm trying to manage that.

So yeah, Sunday I went to the grocery for treats.  I went to the cross fit gym Monday evening to check it out, then came home & had snacks.  I still packed my healthy food for work, and have every day.  But snacks Monday and more snacks Tuesday evening.  I didn't even want what I was eating, I just wanted my stress to go away.

That's when I got on here and posted.  Because somehow sharing it makes the food less powerful.

I called in sick today.  I didn't sleep well and I have a lousy headache.  I ate my normal breakfast that I would have packed for work (baked swai and zucchini).

My plan for today is to take care of myself.  Eat my healthy foods, go to yoga later, and just futz around the house doing a few low key things (like put away my laundry). Things that will help me feel more in control of my life. 

Be well, and take care of yourself!  I will too. :-)  And a special thanks to Gwen.  I stopped.

Whats been going on

This is where I've been since Monday evening:

It's not an utter disaster.  Still packing healthy food.  Still getting on the scale daily.  But evenings are the wild wild west.

I'm working on it.  Right now I'm just wiped.

Back

Got home at midnight.  No yoga for me.  Doing food prep before my sewing get together this afternoon. 

Going to the beach

I am busy getting my stuff together.  I am working a half day tomorrow and then we are going to the beach (Wilmington) to visit our son and have dinner with friends.  I am taking my sewing machine to work on curtains for the boat.

My son lives on the Cape Fear river in downtown Wilmington.

I leave you with this thought. :-)

I am NOT taking my computer, so don't expect to hear from me until Sunday!

Short & sweet

I'm tired, so I'm keeping this short.  Dinner was nice, stuck to my plan.  My friend ordered a really great beer (local, well, from Asheville).  I had a sip, but didn't order my own.

Too much to do tomorrow evening.  Ugh! Workout, pack, plan meals & make grocery list, and shower post yoga of course!  It was terrific to see my friend K, but there is a reason I don't normally do social stuff during the week.

I guess that sounds kinda bad - I do enjoy being social.  I just really like my routines and right now I'm in such a good groove with working out that taking a night off (like tonight) makes me feel "off".  I know I need to get over that - being flexible is a good thing.  I'm just not naturally inclined that way - I thrive on structure and routine.  Hey - I'm a mathematician! :-)

I will leave you with this funny:

Improvement!

Tonight I went to Bikram yoga.  I cannot believe how much progress I've made in terms of my flexibility in the 2.5 weeks I've been going.  It's seriously amazing!

Food was fine today.  The usual that I eat every day.  I had a slice of cheese when I got home (before yoga).  I made what I call "eggplant lasagna" - I use baked eggplant in place of lasagna noodles.  It makes it healthier and I really like it.  That was dinner.

Tomorrow night I am meeting a friend for dinner at a bbq place.  My plan is catfish, collards, and brunswick stew. 

Okay, I need a shower.  Have a nice evening!

The Superbowl report

Weight was the same today.  Superbowl strategy success!

I had to work late today.  After work I came home, ate, went to JoAnn (I wanted to pick up a few supplies for my new craft projects).  Came home, did a kettlebell workout here at the house, and now I'm checking in! :-)

Food was good today!

I have to work late 3 days this week.  That's nice because I am leaving work at lunch Friday to go to the beach, but it makes my evenings short on time.  But I plan to work out every night.

Anyway, I'm off to pack tomorrow's food and put away yesterday's clean laundry.  Take care!

I'm so proud of me!

I went to a house concert at a friend's place last night. Excellent food, beer, open bar, dessert, etc etc.  I ate a healthy meal (chicken, pot roast, green beans) and drank water.  Skipped the rich soup, dessert, and booze.  Yay me!

Weight today was the same.  I am getting ready to go to yoga.  Today's plan is yoga, then going to the antique store with my mom, then sewing.  I am going to watch the Superbowl.  I have 3 homemade jalapeno poppers in the fridge.  These are cheese stuffed in a half jalapeno wrapped with bacon.  So yummy, and no bread or sugar involved.  No beer.

I am making curtains for my son's boat.  His birthday is the 28th, and I would like to have them finished for his birthday.  So I am going to start working on them if not today, then next weekend.  Our local medieval group is having a sewing get together the next 2 Sunday afternoons, and have reserved a big room at the university.  So I plan to get with friends and work on curtains while they are all working on viking!  I have a lot of viking costumes - it's one of my favorite medieval periods to wear.  Even women got practical, comfy clothes back then! :-)  But I don't need any more, so curtains for me! Ha ha.

Hope you all enjoy your day!

Focus!

"I can control now... I can decide to try and keep trying..now. And worry about the rest later...except my little trick is.. There is no later. Later never comes. It's always now. So concern yourself with now...and let later take care of itself." - http://chrislivessimple.blogspot.com/

My goal for January was to lose 5 pounds, except I didn't.  I lost a little over 2.  I am pretty disappointed with myself.  I'm not tall and I don't have LOADS of weight to lose, so little slip-ups translate to no results.  I have to stay focused.  Well, this month I haven't.

Sure, I've done lots of things right, but clearly lots of things have been... not right.  I;m not going to make excuses, and I am moving in the right direction.  But 2 pounds per month is ridiculous.

Okay, January is over.  February is a shorter month, but let's go team February and take January to school on how this weight loss thing gets done! *lol*

I am now going to shut up and go to the gym.

Have a good day!

Ugh

Dear God today was insane.  I know that not everyone understands math.  I get that.  But please don't give important spreadsheets full of calculations to those people.  Hours later, my boss was left with a year's worth of corrected data. Going to bed now.

What's it all for?

A comment Gwen left this morning about the pic I posted wanted to me explain where I was coming from when I posted it.

As I get older, more and more I think about things like "what is important to me?" and "what difference will I make"?

I don't plan to be buried, but if I were to have a gravestone, I wouldn't want it to say "she got to yoga consistently".

Health is important, VERY important, but only insofar as it allows us to do the things that matter to us.  Maybe that's playing with your kids or grand-kids, or your volunteering, or the small business you run, or your church.  Whatever your priorities are, I hope you are alive & well and able to contribute to that in a meaningful way for as long as possible.

I want that for me too!  And as I get older, I'm less and less inclined to "spend" my time and energy on things that aren't really important.  Don't get me wrong, I still watch tv and sports.  I'm not saying every second has to be spent doing something of earth shattering importance.  But I don't want to look back and regret that I got so caught up in the lives of the Kardashians that I don't feel like I made much of a difference.

Wow.  Deep thoughts!  But that's where I'm coming from.  Take care of yourself so you can get the most out of your life.  As far as I know, we only get one. :-)

The scale was down another 2.2 pounds.  So I'm still up half a pound from the low I got to a couple of  weeks ago, but firmly moving in the right direction again.  January isn't going to be a spectacular month, but I'm trying to focus on the individual choices and trust that as long as I am moving in the right direction, I'm doing well!

Okay, eating dinner then off to the gym!  Maybe some tv watching later - we are watching season 1 of "Eureka".  Be well! :-)

Quick post

Just a quick note to say hi - I totally forgot to post anything last night!

I'm fine.  I'd like to leave you with this thought today.  Make it a good one! :-)

Good Eats

So first off, scale was down a pound and a half.  All in all, January isn't going to be very impressive weight loss wise.  I remind myself that I am doing a lot of internal work, and every time I trip and recover quickly, I set myself up for better success going forward.

In a shocking development, did you know that if you skip the glass (or two) of wine before bed, you will sleep better.  I know, right!?!?  Shocking!!!  Perhaps this lesson will sink in.  At least I (re) learned it more quickly this time.  I slept great last night.

For me, I've spent so long being out of touch with my feelings, that identifying them and them categorizing into things that should be addressed and acted on v. things that just need to be felt - well, it's a challenge.

Yesterday I did food prep:

Breakfast is baked fish (I did a couple of pieces of swai and a couple of pieces of salmon, I'm eating a bit of each every day), roasted tomatoes, and zucchini.

Lunch is homemade salisbury steak and broccoli.

Tonight's dinner was chicken barbeque done in the crock pot with homemade bbq sauce, baked fries, and salad.

I went to yoga today.

Have a good evening!

Pulling out of the face plant

I've been firmly face planted in food since Thursday.  Friday the scale hadn't budged, Saturday I didn't get on it, and this morning it was up 2.6 pounds.  More than that, I feel like crap.

So there's that.

Yeah.  Well I got up this morning and decided enough is enough.  I prepped my food for the week, ate healthy meals, and drove to Raleigh for my private lesson with a kettlebell instructor.  I really liked him and the lesson was great!

It's so easy to slide back into it when you are vulnerable.  I realized that while I had good intentions with my 30 in 30 yoga challenge, I was placing a huge amount of pressure on myself to go from no yoga to that.  And I have really been wanting to go to the Tuesday get together where people work on craft projects.  And I miss the Y.

So I decided to take a step back.  I'm committed to yoga 3-4 days a week, but I need to mix some other stuff in - including one night that's a quick elliptical session so I can go and get my craft on!  I need a creative outlet, and I need social interaction outside of work.

I'm not perfect, but what is the point of this blog if I'm not honest?  I'm human.  It happens.  And sometimes something sounds like a great idea until you get into it and realize it isn't. 

I'm in a much better place tonight than I was this time 3 days ago.

Thanks for listening.  be well.

A collision of many things

This week a bunch of things collided, creating a "perfect storm" of emotion.

Work was very stressful.  We are hired to 18 month contracts.  One of the ladies is leaving and I am taking over several of her responsibilities.  So I am learning several new things, plus managing my own projects.

Our family friend and the out of the blue, still lots of unknowns cancer.  They don't know where all it is.  They do know what type - it doesn't respond to chemo.  They think it's probably in his brain, so it sounds like he doesn't have a lot of time.

The weather has been miserable.

A lot of things that have been weighing on me - circumstances over which I don't necessarily have a lot of control.  This has been going on in the background since I moved in to my mom's last April.  Some things you just have to accept as imperfect, and recognize they aren't permanent.

And I realized that for quite some time, I haven't had anything that really feeds my soul.  All my hobbies are literally packed away in my storage unit.  This morning I just sat and cried and cried. I told my mom that there wasn't anything in my day to day life that really gives me joy and feeds my creative spirit.  And I've been living like this for months.  it's living, but I'd hardly call it thriving. 

It's easy to see why people turn to food when they don't have anything else.  It can be cheap, easy to obtain, legal, and satisfying.

I enjoy working out, but that doesn't really feel creative.  I love to sew, do embroidery and viking wire weaving, make jewelry, but all that stuff is in storage.  I need some space and I need my husband to go to the storage unit and find some of my things.  That place is so crazy - I could never find anything in there.

Anyway, mom is going to make some room in the guest room so I can bring some of my stuff.  I'm trying to find solutions, but sometimes when you are down it's difficult to identify the issue.  And until you do that, you can't find a solution, you know?

I may whine here, but you won't find me wallowing.  That's not who I am.

Have a good day! 

A dear family friend has cancer. It's one of those: we went to find out why your back is hurting and there's a spot, and oh cancer, no idea what kind/ where it is/ how to treat it....

Work has been bananas, my weight hasn't budged (on the plus, I haven't gained. And I'll be honest, there has been a bit of sub optimal eating.  No excuses - I'm not perfect, but I am honest.).  It's just been one of those weeks.  You can't have peaks if you don't have valleys.  

 Yeah, this week is done, or I'm done with this week. Stick a fork in me.

I've had 2 night of crappy sleep, so tonight my plan is to relax, eat healthy food, and try to get caught up on my sleep.  In short: Take care of myself!

Take care and be well my friends. 

My streak ended today

I'm tired and I worked late, and had a rough day at work.  I decided to take the night off yoga.  That's all I got.

More yoga

Day 5 of Bikram yoga done.  I can tell a definite improvement in my postures.  Progress is happening!

Work is very busy.  I didn't know what was happening for dinner - mom was coming home from the coast and I had nothing planned.  Or if I did, I'd forgotten!  Anyway, we went to Jason's deli.  I had a cup of french onion soup and a salad bar.  So, a healthy dinner.  Then yoga.

I'm cooling down now, I will probably eat half an avocado after.  Did you know it has more potassium than bananas?  It makes a fantastic, perfect, post yoga snack.

Tomorrow I am making the Asian salmon bowl again.

Have a good evening (what's left of it!)

Day 4 in the books

Whew!  Tonight's class was easier, physically and even a little easier mentally! I am noticing a difference in my flexibility.  The heat is still a struggle -- but it's more of a mental obstacle than a physical one.

I am proud of myself for sticking with this.  This Sunday I am (finally) meeting with the Russian Kettlebell Certified (RKC) instructor over in Raleigh.  I emailed and asked if we could meet at 3 so I would have time to go to yoga beforehand.  If not, that's okay.  But I'd like to not miss the day if possible!

This week's food:

Breakfast - greek style meatloaf with cucumbers and tomatoes
AM snack - baked butternut squash
Lunch - grilled chicken and roasted green beans
afternoon snack - 2 clementines and 12 almonds
pre yoga snack - banana

Dinner tonight was a cup of ground turkey chili and half an avocado.

Have a good evening!

Blond ambition

When I purchased 30 day passes for husband and myself at the local Bikram yoga studio, my goal was simple: go as many days as possible.  Why?  Well, part of it is that I am frugal - I want to get my money's worth! :-)  But more importantly, I wanted to see what kind of difference a consistent 30 days of an intense yoga practice could make in my life.

Over the years, I've tried yoga many, many times.  My flexibility and balance are both pretty bad, so I know a regular yoga practice would make a difference.  I've even managed to go fairly regularly for a while several times, but I never stay with it.  So this time I decided to take an "all in" approach and see what happens.

I tell you what: Bikram is hard.  Tonight was tough - I was really feeling the heat.  But today as yesterday I stayed in the room and attempted every pose!

Hub took MIL home Saturday night, I am here alone dog sitting while my mom is enjoying a stretch of warm weather down at the beach with my son.  She's having a great time and I'm glad!  You wouldn't think a 19 year old would be glad to have his grandma come stay a few days, but they are very close.  I'm so glad she can go visit since I have to work.

I had today off, so I spent some time online looking at job web sites.  I also have a meeting with a recruiter later in the week.  So, I am doing what I can to make forward progress in that area of my life.  I have 10 months left on my contract, so I have time, but you never know what's out there unless you look!

Have a good evening!

Feelings, whoa who whoa

So, hub left for work this morning.  I'm alone for the next couple of days and off work.  I'm thankful for the break and glad for the time alone.  I saw a lot of good friends yesterday afternoon, but instead of satisfying my need to socialize, it left me wanting more!

Today the scale was the same. I went to my second Bikram class.  Physically it was easier, mentally tougher.  But I did it!

This afternoon I am having homemade baked jalapeno poppers (jalapeno stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon) for lunch while watching the Packers.

So, feeling a bit lonely (which is odd, I enjoy my time alone!).  But that's okay - feelings are okay.  They don't have to be "fixed".

Have a good day!

I'm so hot! :-)

First off, that random pound left, and took half a friend with it!  Woot!!  Scale vagaries. :-)

Dropped my car off to get a sensor fix, did hub's food prep for the week, and then we went to our first Bikram yoga class!  90 minutes in a 105 degree room, 26 poses (each done twice).  My goal for today was a simple one: don't leave the room.  I didn't do every pose, there were some I had to sit out.  That's okay. I did the best I could and I stayed in the room.  I am proud of myself, because honestly?  I was scared.

There were people in there that looked like they should be on the cover of "Yoga Journal" magazine.  Beautiful, great yoga, etc.  And then there's chubby, inflexible me.  But I went and I did it and I gave it my best.  And I plan to do the same tomorrow.

I may not write about them all the time, but I certainly do suffer from insecurities.  They have improved with age, but since I regained weight they have tried to creep back.  I'm working on it.

The other thing I'm working on is just letting my feelings be there.  Like yesterday, I was sad.  And then when I got home no one had thawed the fish, so I felt like I couldn't make dinner.  My husband offered to go pick up pizza and beer.  The old me would've jumped at the excuse of no thawed chicken - especially how I was feeling.

Instead he picked up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery and potato salad.  I cooked some broccoli.  not the healthiest meal, but a lot better than pizza and beer.

Okay, off to hang out with friends.  Have a good day!

A short report

So, scale was up a pound this morning.  The only thing I did differently was to have a bowl of tomato soup for snack yesterday.  So maybe salt was the culprit?  Who knows, not worrying.  When you weigh every day, little fluctuations don't seem to cause a defcon 4 leverl freakout any more.  Who knew????

MIL is here for a few days since she can't drive.  Calgon, take me away.

I know I sound like a bitch, she isn't a mean person, just a selfish, self absorbed, and therefore inconsiderate one.  With no social skills.  Who seems to have been raised by feral yeti.  Okay, I better stop before I get struck by lightening or something.

I had a case of the sads today.  Sometimes they hit, you know?  There are things in my life I'm not super happy with, but they are what they are.  I'm not very good at the whole Buddhist accept things as they are schtick.  I'm better at "must fix NOW" mentality.  Which isn't always appropriate.  So there you go.

Off to make the salmon dinner again, then heading to the gym.

Did I mention that when you walk on the indoor track (2nd story), it overlooks a Hardees with a big sign out front: Bacon velveeta double patty meltdown or some such.  Kinda funny.

Have a good one!

Are pendulum's balanced?

Sometimes I wish I were better at balance.  I think of myself as more of an "all in" type person.  When I get into something, I'm really into it, you know?  I don't necessarily feel the need to master it, I just really get into it for a while.

I've realized that my way of maintaining balance is by doing things sequentially rather than concurrently.  I think this plays into the concept of "You can have it all, just not all at once."  Large scale priorities (work v. family) - yeah, those need to be in balance all the time.  But hobbies, fitness activities?  Yeah, you can't enjoy them all at once.  You have to prioritize, enjoy each in its season.

People talk about balance, especially as they are making resolutions this time of year.  But balance isn't a once size fits all.  Figure out what style of balance works for you and let that be good enough.

Weight was the same today.  Food - the same.  Dinner was baked fish, baked fries, and veggies.  Hub is home, so we went to the gym and walked on the indoor track.

MIL is still here.  She planned to be here 3-4 days.  She brought 2 bottles of fat free creamer, a gallon of milk, and 2 boxes of orange dreamcicles.  Yeah, two boxes of ice cream for a (max) 4 day visit. See?  Swimming in the river - De Nile.

Alright, gotta go make my shopping list!

Morning treat

At new job, contractors can only work from home when we have inclement weather.  We had some freezing rain and schools were on a delay (or cancelled).  I totally took advantage and worked from home.  That way I only missed a couple of hours, as opposed to missing half a day due to a dental appointment.  Yay!

This morning's breakfast was a total treat: leftover spaghetti! And by spaghetti, I mean zucchini noodles with marinara and meatballs.  That was one of my favorite breakfasts in college, and it was nice to enjoy it again today!

Not everyone in the house eats the way I do, so sometimes I may make dinners that have no grains, other nights I may make pasta or brown rice on the side (like I did last night).  Mom had both types of noodles (zucchini and pasta), MIL had pasta.  And I really enjoy finding recipes or meal ideas that hit the flavor notes I enjoy.  And I'm good enough in the kitchen that adapting recipes to suit my way of eating (marinara with no added sugar for example) is pretty easy.

The cough syrup helped tremendously last night!  I still coughed a little, but it was so much better!

Oh, scale was the same again today.  I don't generally lose 2 days in a row, so I thought yesterday might be a fluke, so I was happy to see no change this morning! :-)

I tried a new class at the Y tonight, called "Pound" described as "Fat-burning cardio, lean sculpted muscles, and interval training while rocking out a workout using Ripstix."  Those would be drum sticks.  It was fun, a little too jumpy and twisty for me though.  Not to mention requiring way more coordination that I possess!
 :-)

My (former) trainer was in the class (she told me about it), so we got to catch up a bit.  It was nice to change it up!  Talked to the husband, definitely starting yoga this weekend!

So, my MIL had her eye surgery today and is now over here, recovering.  She seems okay, but she has a giant patch on, and of course her eye hurts.  People: take care of yourself.  Diabetes and the damages blood sugar causes to your body is no joke!

Have a nice evening!

How many calories are in cough drops?

Ugh, I still have this darn cough!  I was up from 2 to 4:30 in the middle of the night, unable to sleep due to coughing.  I have nighttime cough syrup for tonight.

Down another pound this morning.  What???

Tonight's dinner was homemade turkey meatballs, homemade marinara, and zucchini noodles.  I also made some regular spaghetti noodles, which is what MIL ate.  You know she has Celiac's and is always going on about eating gluten free.  Until she woofs down a plate of pasta.  Whatever.

Went to the gym again tonight for 30 minutes on the elliptical.  Spin class was just too early for me to make it there.  Oh well.

They are calling for freezing rain tomorrow morning, so I may actually get to work from home!  Woot!  I also have a dentist appointment.

Alright, have a good evening!

On track

So, scale was down a pound this morning.  Woot! :-)

The salmon recipe last night was really good!  I got it off skinnytaste.com.  I like checking out a variety of web sites for meal ideas.  Skinnytaste is "healthy eating" site.  This particular recipe: http://www.skinnytaste.com/2015/01/seattle-asian-salmon-bowl.html had brown rice in it.  I didn't want to eat the rice so I served it over braised bok choy.  It was like eating a bowl of sushi. YUM! :-)

Tonight I had some Mexican flavored sauteed chicken and sauteed greens.  It was okay - filling and quick to heat up (I made it yesterday morning).  Sometimes I want something really special, sometimes quick and easy is perfectly fine.

It's cold and rainy here, but not bitterly cold, so that's an improvement.

I went to the gym this evening and did 30 minutes on the elliptical again.  The gym was packed!

Anyway, that's about all I got.  Have a good evening!

Exercise plans and food

So, cooking is all done for the week!

I grew up in the South and I happen to like a lot of southern foods.  I'm perfectly content to use any sort of greens (turnip, collard) in recipes in place of spinach.  Kale may be a darling, but all greens are good to me.  Which is why I put turnip greens into my "gyro" meat I made for the hub and I for breakfasts this week.

It's a recipe I riffed from Rachel Ray years ago.  I use ground turkey (or a lamb & turkey combo) with spices, feta, and spinach.  It does have a nice gyro kinda flavor.  I cut up red onion, tomato, and cucumber and cover it with that,.  Sometimes I make some tsaziki sauce to go on top, but I think it makes a great breakfast - reheats well, great flavor, and lots of veggies.

Oh, and for the record: chicken and waffles is NOT southern!  Paula Deen and hipsters give southern food a bad name.

I went to the gym today and had a wonderful workout!  30 hard minutes on the elliptical.  It felt great to be back!

Blocks of workouts I'm thinking about doing in the near future: 30 days of Bikram yoga (up next!), then I'm thinking of doing the Skogg kettlebell program (available at amazon) to get me through the lousy winter.  At some point when the weather improves, I would like to do a month of 5Ks every day.  The park near me is beautiful and 2 laps is almost exactly a 5K.  So it's easy!  After that, who knows! :-)

Anyway, the idea is to to create blocks of different workout ideas.  It will keep me motivated by changing it up and each segment will be its own little challenge.

So, food for the week: breakfast is gyros (no bread), AM snack is yogurt (as I wrap up my antibiotics), lunch is baked chicken and roasted broccoli, afternoon snack is clementines and almonds.  Dinners are varied, but tonight is a new Asian salmon recipe with sauteed baby bok choy.  

I am watching football and need to do some laundry.  Other than that, just relaxing!

MIL has her eye surgery Wednesday.  No idea what that entails or what the recovery is.  :-O  Yeah, typical.

Anyway, enjoy what's left of the weekend! :-)
  

Time Flies

Wow - I had no idea I hadn't posted since Wednesday!  Time flies.

Things are fine - work, coming home & watching tv, relaxing. Thursday evening I worked on the meal plan and grocery list.  Shopping is done so that food prep can start today.

I am up half a pound this week - eh, whatever.  No exercise in 2 weeks, eating what I could swallow and tasted good (canned tomato soup!), etc.  Not a big deal at all.  This is life, there is no expiration or end date.  Well, there is, but not an end to eating or exercising until the actual end! :-O

Today I am having a can of tuna for breakfast and lunch - oh, and a couple of prunes for medicinal purposes.  So hopefully that will help get me back on the path.  

It is so cold here that I can't use the fridge on the outside back patio - the food inside it froze.  If you eat a lot of produce, having two refrigerators is very helpful!  So that's a bummer and another reason I can't wait for it to warm up!

I was thinking about starting my month of yoga tomorrow, but I've changed my mind. The whole point was to find something my husband would enjoy and for us to do it together.  Since he is sick, I decided to wait until he is better and can go with me.  I will start back at the Y tomorrow until he is better.

In a shocking development, my MIL actually signed a will!!!  She tried to back out, but hub actually convinced her to sign it!  Please understand, this isn't greed at all.  She doesn't have any money, and not a lot of possessions.  If she left it all to the Humane Society (or whatever!), that would be fine.  We just wanted her to sign a will so that when she dies, we weren't faced with the my husband and brother having to deal with their abusive stepfather.  She hasn't seen the man in over 20 years, but as her spouse not only would he have gotten everything, but he would have had to settle her affairs.  He lives out of state, so what a horrible situation that would have been!

Family can be great, it can also be hard.  And it's frequently weird. :-) 

I hope you have a great weekend!

Cold & colder

Like many places in the US, it was cold this morning, colder this afternoon, and even colder this evening.  Living in NC, it's not nearly as cold as it is many places.  But yeah, I really don't like cold!

Not too much to report.  I'm still sick and feeling fairly raggedy.  My evening activity is movie watching, but today I actually though to to myself "Yeah, I've turned the corner." 

So that's good.

My mom is headed to the coast for a couple of days to visit with my son.  It's cold there too, and it's hard on a boat with the wind on the river.  But MIL is having her eye surgery next week (pre op Monday, surgery Wednesday), and my mom is driving her/taking care of her after the surgery.  So mom wants to head on to the coast for a visit.

MIL has no clue what the surgery entails or what the recovery is like.  It's impossible to know if they didn't say or she doesn't remember. As near we we can tell (and it's hard to know since my MIL is the reigning queen of selective hearing/ remembering), her short term memory seems to be crap.  My husband is pushing her to sign a will before the surgery.  She's older and not in good health, really everyone should have a will anyway, and also she is still married to my husband's stepdad that she hasn't seen in over 20 years.  (Why?  Who knows!?!?) Anyway, hub's told her some stuff about the will twice, and so has my mom, and she still can't (doesn't want to?) remember.

I think I mentioned that she has a hole in her macular (part of the eye), but swears that a decade plus of poorly managed diabetes has nothing to do with it. Take care of yourself because I can't tell you how many people I have worked with over the years that started having serious health issues in their 50s.  It's like all of a sudden, years of bad habits caught up with them.  My MIL is a prime example.

Anyway, my plan for the evening is to watch "The Hundred Foot Journey."

Take care!

Goals, and an article I read today

First of all, I read an interesting article today on "healthy obesity":

http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2015/01/06/is-healthy-obesity-a-real-thing-not-likely-study-says/

This confirms something that I've noticed anecdotally may be the statistical reality:  You can be obese and healthy for a while, but as you age, you are likely to become more unhealthy.  Fat and fit seems to work okay in your 20s and 30s, but as folks head into later life, it's like their bad habits start to catch up with them.  Now, that isn't true for everyone.  But I think it reinforces the idea that trying to get to a healthier weight by improving your eating and exercise habits is a worthwhile goal.

I am still sick.  Today I managed to spend a whole day at work AND felt a tiny spark of energy for a short period of time.  Needless to say, not exercising.

I have 3 goals for 2015:

1. Find a full time job
2. Sell house in Fla and buy a house in NC
3. Achieve a healthy weight and lifestyle  

Let's talk about number 3 for a minute.  I made a good start this year.  I intentionally focused more on establishing habits and figuring out what worked, rather than trying to just drop weight as quickly as possible.

Let's take a quick look at a chart:

Sep - down 4 pounds
Oct - down 3.8
Nov - down 1.4
Dec - down 5.0
Lost some easy weight, had to really tweak and figure it out, then started losing again.

I'm breaking down the year into fitness blocks, not necessarily of the same length.  Block 1 is 30 days of Bikram yoga.  I know I'm not starting on the 1st, so what?  I'll start when I'm well.

I'll be doing a Whole 30 at the same time.

Once I am feeling better I'll set a start date and let you know.

Here's the important part:  Have a plan.  Stick to it.  Tweak what isn't working.  My plan is to break this down into blocks, change it up to make each block a sort of mini challenge and keep it interesting.  At the end of the year, I plan to be fit and my goal weight.

Take care!

I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow....

Well, I'm still sick.  Thanks to codeine cough syrup and Chloraseptic, my throat no longer feels like I've been drinking razor blades.  My energy is non-existent.  Yesterday I took 4 naps, and I've already had one today.

I need to get my food together.  My plan is to go in to work tomorrow and see how it goes.

Food hasn't been an issue - I have no appetite.  I'm drinking plenty of fluids.  I'll get back to the gym when I feel ready.

As you can imagine, the new yoga practice is on hold, as is everything.  I'll get back to it when my energy is back.  For right now I'm not pushing it.  Getting better and going to work are the priorities.

Take care!

Another quick update

Good morning.

I went to work yesterday for exactly an hour.  Gah.  I was at the doctors for 3 hours.  They place looked like a flash mob of the worst kind. ;-)

Like I said, I don't have the flu.  But this is the worst cold I've ever had. My throat feels like I've been gargling razor blades.  I'm on an antibiotic (thankfully, I rarely take these), cough syrup with codeine, and a nasal spray.  I'm also using chloraseptic to keep my throat numbed up, and my neti pot to help keep my sinuses clear.  Mostly, I'm reading, napping, and whining. :-)

My husband was supposed to go to his one a month D&D game (I married a geek, then so am I....), but I told him I needed him to stay at home and take care of me. 2015: the year I let people know what I need,

Take care.  

Sick

I went to the doctor, I don't have the flu, but I feel bad enough that I went and had the test done.  I'm on 3 types of medicines.  Ugh.

Back when I feel better.

Will this cold never end?

I took a 2 hour nap.  I'm having tomato soup and hot tea.  I have to go to work tomorrow.  Ugh! 

And now, looking forward!

This morning I was down 1.4 pounds. :-)  I lost 5 pounds this month - 15 pounds so far.  I may be slow, but I'm moving in the right direction!

Yesterday might have sounded like a bit of a Debbie Downer, but that wasn't my intent.  Yes, I have challenges.  Don't we all? But I also have many blessings.

My biggest take-away from this year is that I started moving toward what I want.  Now in 2015 I need to finish.  I moved, now I need to find a permanent job and a new home.

I've lost weight and gained fitness, I need to continue down that path.

My son is doing well, I need to accept that he is a good, responsible kid who will grow in his own time.

As for my relationship issues, I've started - I need to continue down the path.

Oh, Mrs Swan - my husband works 4 hours away, so he's home on the weekends.  Not ideal, but he has a good job he enjoys, and is near his dad so he can check in.  So... there ya go.  Life of the sandwich generation! :-)

Happy New Year!  Set your goals, and make them a priority!

Stuck and frustrated - Or, a year in review (AKA brain dump)

The weekend before Christmas I gained 1.6 pounds and the scale has been stuck there ever since.  No matter how much exercise or watching what I eat, it won't budge.  I'm pretty frustrated with the scale.

Honestly, I'm frustrated with a lot of things.  This has been a hard year and while some things have improved, other things have not.

I find myself at a bit of a crossroads here at the end of 2014.  

Work: Let's be honest, my job kinda went in the crapper.  I worked for a great company and I had a job I really enjoyed - until I moved to Florida.  Then I had a boss that had her "click", and I wasn't a part.  Then she left, but then we were re-organized, and I felt horribly under utilized as the department degenerated into a goat screw.  But new big boss waltzed out after 16 months and left us (and the company) holding the flaming bag of poop.  Our VP was invited to retire, and they tried to "fix" things - but people were fleeing the department like Pompeii.  

I was very nervous about leaving (I'd been with the company 14 years).  But leave I did and I'm with another very good company doing a job I like with a boss I like.  The issue is that I am a contractor.  I got to move back to NC, but with a substantial pay cut and cut in perks and benefits.  That's been tough.  Job security is pretty much an oxymoron anymore, so I'm okay with that part.  It's more just the sense that you are a second class employee.  So even though I'm pretty happy, this situation isn't permanent.

Living circumstances:  Again, mixed bag.  I moved back to NC from Ft. Lauderdale - and I'm very glad about that!  I managed to get my house leased out to a tenant that plans to buy it as soon as she gets her finances in order (another 6 months or so).  I am getting enough in rent to pay the mortgage.  Hopefully we'll even get a bit out of the house above what we put down on it. 

But because I own a big, pricey house AND have a temp job, getting a mortgage right now is pretty much impossible.  The idea when I moved up here was that I would stay with my mom temporarily until I found a house.  Eight months later, and I'm still in my childhood room.  While I love my mom and appreciate everything she does, this is NOT an ideal situation - for anyone.  The thought was that we'd save money while we're here, but that hasn't happened.  Between unforeseen circumstances (do you know how much an emergency room visit costs with crappy, temp insurance?) and a husband incapable of saving a dime.... yeah.

Son:  My son bought a houseboat when he graduated from high school.  He hasn't found a direction in life, and is drifting along, working a little and depending on his grandma for the rest.  I don't know what to do at this point.  I didn't know what I wanted to do either at his age, which is why I joined the Army.  Cause mooching off the parents was out of the question.  I hope he figures it out - he's a good kid, but he needs to get his shit together.  He's not in any trouble (drinking, drugs - thank GOD), but I worry.  I want him to be independent and mature.  He's 19 - maybe I'm expecting too much.  I dunno.

MIL: OMG, where do I even start on this one???  First of all, let me quote from Dear Abby, from a response she wrote to someone who was dealing with a mother that constantly criticized her, while praising her siblings to the skies: " It is not unusual for a dysfunctional parent to single out one child to treat poorly. You should feel sorry that your mother is so insecure and unhappy and resolve to do better in your own life."

Wow.  That is my MIL perfectly.  Someone so broken, that the only role she is capable of playing in her own life is helpless victim.  Someone who expects to be cared for by everyone around her because she is incapable of doing so.  That is how she sees herself.  She didn't raise her children.  She allowed my husband to be abused, and constantly criticizes him, yet he is the only one who will do anything for her.  She eats like an unsupervised 5 year old, yet her out of control diabetes has nothing to do with the emergency eye surgery she is having in 2 weeks for macular degeneration.  

I pity her, but I also resent the hell out of the fact that I am expected (by her and the rest of my husband's family) to buy Christmas gifts, pay for medicines, buy gas, buy new tires for her car etc. etc. this month because victims don't balance their checkbooks or manage their money (granted, she has very little).  And all without a thank you.  Just like she expects my mom to care for her after the surgery because there is no one else.

And lastly, my husband:  I love him.  I've been careful about what I've written here - I don't want to say too much or go into details that aren't exclusively mine to share.  I will say this:  My husband was very resentful when my job transferred us to Florida.  He didn't want to go, he blamed me, and he punished me.  He says he's matured, but many things still feel very one sided, and that's something that I have to address in the new year as well.

Maybe its Peri-menopause, maybe it's circumstances, maybe it's a combination of a lot of things.  I've been blessed with some opportunities, I'm grateful for the support I've received, but I also have a lot of work to do on things in the coming year.

I'd like to lose a few more pounds too. *lol*

Take care, and thanks if you've stuck with this long-winded post to the bitter end!!

Definitely Sick

I am writing this from my bed, which is where I have spent the afternoon watching movies on my computer.

Definitely have a cold - voice is all hoarse, sinuses congested, throat scratchy. :-(   Left work after 4 hours to come home and get some rest.  I stopped at a Korean restaurant on the way home to pick up some soup.  I'm a firm believer in spicy soup to help with colds.

Gym isn't happening today.  I am drinking plenty of tea and water, getting rest, taking medicine as needed, cleaning out my sinuses.  You know, all the things to get better quickly.

My son headed back to the coast early.  He was planning to leave today, but was needed for a job today (crewing on a boat that was being moved), so he ate and then left last night after dinner.  That and work really make the holiday feel over, you know?

Christmas was freakishly warm - I walked in the park 3 or 4 times last week to enjoy the outdoors while the weather cooperated.

Okay, take care!

Good morning

Good morning and happy Sunday. :-)

I think I'm trying to catch a cold - I took some medicine.  I plan to do what I need to today, but take it easy.

I went to visit my friend J yesterday (the manic depressive friend I posted about recently).  We drove down to her parents (she's down from Maryland) and had lunch and a nice visit. (Steak on a salad, dressing on the side).  She is doing MUCH better.  She knows she was in a pretty bad state, but it's an illness and you can manage it, but can't really control it.  It is good to see her doing better. 

I will tell you something funny.  She commented several times on how great I looked, how much she admired my dedication to going to the gym, etc.  She gave me Godiva chocolate for Christmas.  I appreciate the thought.  It is getting re-gifted.

Okay, off to Costco!

Okay

Well hello.

This year the holidays have been hectic as I have had no extra time off.  I've tried to make the best of the  time I have had.

Sticking with my exercise regime has been easy - I love it now and count on that to help manage my stress!  I did a 5 K Wednesday and Friday in the park.  I would never have thought I could walk that far.  Now I'm working on my pace!  Thursday I took the dogs for a shorter walk in the park since the weather was so wonderful.  Today I did 30 minutes on the elliptical - tomorrow is weights.

Food has been more difficult.  As I posted about in the comments on Gwen's blog, I slipped with regards to my carbs last Saturday and have been struggling with cravings ever since.  I gained 1.6 pounds Christmas week.  I haven't lost any, but haven't gained any more either.

Today has been a good day.

My son got an electric pressure cooker for Christmas and he is practicing by making beef stew! :-)

It has been so nice having him visit.  The weather here has been freakishly warm.  I'm not complaining!

Have a nice evening! 

Ugh

Wrote a whole post and accidentally deleted it.

I'm ok.  Water aerobics last night, weight lifting tonight.

Have a nice evening!

The weekend is almost over

Well, the weekend is coming to a close. 

It's been busy with the usual but also has some time to relax.  I have gone to the gym every day.  Today was swimming laps.  It was lovely.

Food's been fine, exercise is good.  Splurged a bit last night, but back to normal today.

Off to wash the chlorine out of my hair.

Have a good evening!

Sisterhood of the traveling pants

So, first up:  Lost 1.2 pounds this week.  Not too shabby for the holiday season.

So, I've been navigating the office food mine field.  It's pretty ridiculous, you know?

What else?  I've got some pants that don't fit - for the good reason! :-)  They are now too large.  Woot!  There is a lady at work that is also losing weight and is currently about a size larger than me.  We were talking the other day and she was saying she hated buying clothes that wouldn't fit for long.  I told her I'd been buying stuff at the thrift shop - and she has as well.  Anyway, I asked her if she wanted the pants and she was thrilled!  She offered to pay me, but I told her to pass them on or donate them.  Anyway, she was happy and I felt good. I was going to donate them, but hey - if I can help a co-worker, even better, huh?

So that's all for now.  Have a good evening!

Cool stuff

I know I mentioned yesterday that I decided to do some different fitness stuff next month.  I like my trainer, but I wanted to do something different next month.

I got my husband and I a groupon for a month of Bikram yoga.  We've done it before (several years ago) and enjoyed it, so I thought it might be nice for both of us.

In addition to that, I bought a groupon for 2 massages - 1 for me, 1 for mom.

AND (this isn't a groupon), but I found a kettlebell instructor over in Raleigh.  I told him I was coming from out of town and could we schedule a session or two and he said "Of course!"  Some people want you to buy a package - which I understand, but doesn't make sense if you are driving 2 hours for a session.  So I am going to do a couple of sessions with him to make sure my form is still good.  Woo hoo!

I love these kind of physical challenges!  And I am thrilled that my fitness is improving enough that I can do this kind of stuff!

Okay, off to water aerobics.

Have a nice evening!

Update

Hey there.

Doing a bit better.  Plopping stuff down helped, spending Sunday afternoon with a good friend helped.  I gave myself the last 2 nights off from the gym to wrap gifts, bake pumpkin, balance checkbook, blah blah.  We try to keep the holidays fairly low key, but there is still some extra work involved.  Since I was feeling overwhelmed, I decided 2 days off from working out were acceptable.

A note about my friend:  She is a great lady and she isn't always manic or depressive.  When she's "normal", its easy for her to be a good friend.  When she's in an extreme mood swing, it's tougher.  But she can't help that.  Luckily those times are not that frequent.  We all have our challenges I guess.  I wouldn't be much of a friend if I bailed on her when she was going through a tough time.

Food has been good.  Took broccoli salad for the work lunch - ate that, green beans, eye of round, and some chicken.  Took a pass on all the desserts.  No one commented! Woo hoo!  Lunch was good and I didn't feel deprived.

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well.

I decided to change things up a bit next month.  Instead of working with the trainer I have signed up for a month of all you can attend Bikram yoga.  I'm doing that plus working out on my own - walking & weights on my own.  I wanted something to challenge myself - I'll start after the holidays.  I'll keep you posted!

What's going on

I have been teary, angry, and most of all - stressed this weekend.  What is going on?

I'm not sure.  So forgive my brain dump while I think about it.

Things that are making me nutso right now:

• Work is crazy
• I resent that I work as hard as the full time people - but without any of the perks
• I have a lot to do before the holidays
• I haven't felt like my friends are being very supportive*
• I don't feel like my husband has been very supportive - but he IS trying, and that counts
• I feel overwhelmed
• I don't have my old comforts to help me through (you know, the caloric kind)

*I am thinking specifically of 2 good friends.  One has been very busy with training and classes (she has her own business).  It's no reflection on her - it's just timing.  The other one....  Well, I like her very much, but here's the thing:  she is manic depressive.  When she's depressed she's needy, and when she's manic she's so spazzy that you literally cannot get in a word edge-wise while she tells you ALL KINDS of random stuff. She is a good friend, but right now I'm finding her tough to handle.

Exercise is fine.  Food is fine.  My emotions ... not to fine.

Okay, I am spending time today with another good friend.  I am looking forward to it. 

Be good to yourself. :-)

Friday update

Even though I weigh most days, I count Friday as my 'official' weigh in day.  I didn't weigh last Friday since we were out of town, but I am down 4 pounds since the Friday before last. So doing pretty good! :-)

I'm giving some thought to fitness stuff I'd like to noodle with.  I'm thinking that in the new year, I may alternate months of weight training with trying other things - a month of personal training, a month at the CrossFit gym, personal training, Bikram yoga, etc etc.

I also found a good kettlebell trainer in Raleigh - I may email and see if I can go over for a couple of sessions on some weekends.  I'd like to get my form check by a serious kettlebell instructor.

I have found a good groove with food.  I'm thinking my goal may be to change up my breakfast & lunch every 3 weeks.  That way I enjoy them without getting overly bored.  OTOH, too much variety isn't a good idea either.  We'll see.

Anyway, that's what I'm thinking.  Take care & have a good weekend!

A case of the sads

I came home feeling mildly sad.  I am taking over some responsibilities from a lady that will be leaving in mid February (her contract will be up).  Anyway, eh.  After the holidays I think I will put some feelers out for whats available around here.  So, eh.

Anyway, lots of stuff to do this weekend.  Feeling tired.  Need to make the grocery list and then go to the gym for swimming.

That's all I got tonight.

Have a good evening!

Just 'eh'

So, I found out Monday that I didn't get the job.  There were folks with more experience.  I didn't get any negative feedback and I was asked to apply again if they convert any more temp positions to perm.  So there's that.  Kinda bummed.  I hate contracting, even though the pay is good and the company evens offers some 401k matching and benefits. 

And the past two days at work have been INSANE.  A project sorta blew up while I was gone, so I came back to that.  Then yesterday I spent the day setting up accounts in the mainframe for a massive project that just installed.

By the end of today I was beginning to feel caught up.

Last night I went to the gym to take a spin class with my fave instructor, but I got the time wrong and missed the class.  Are you sensing a theme here????

Okay, good stuff!

Christmas cards are mailed.  All gifts are nearly bought and I am finishing my homemade gifts this weekend so I can get those suckers in the mail!

Eating is good and I am navigating the holiday food landmines with little to no issues.

While the scale has bounced some, the overall trend continues down and I've already lost around 2.5 pounds this month.  Woo hoo!  I plan to keep THAT focus!

Tonight I am lifting weights, which I LOVE!

We had a wonderful visit with my great aunt.  She's still doing well, but definitely beginning to slow down quite a bit.  The sense that our time is running out was a lot stronger this trip.  She's 95 and in good health, but at that age you never know.  My grandmother (her sister) was in great health, right up until she quit eating and died.  So I think we may plan a trip back to rent a cabin in the spring rather than going up to New England.

Have a good rest of the week!

Alive

Hello, I'm back from our trip.

Work has been brutal the last couple of days.  I am exhausted.

More later.

New Eats

I've been eating the same salad made with grilled chicken thighs and homemade ranch for work lunches for AGES (a year or more).  And basically alternating between different types of meatloaf and burgers with vegetables for breakfast for months.

Since I didn't need to do any food prep for my husband this weekend, I put a bit more time and effort into planning my meals so I could have something different.

Breakfast is some baked salmon with roasted tomatoes and zucchini.  For lunch I bought a rotisserie chicken.  I added chopped vegetables, 2 tablespoons of homemade vinaigrette dressing, 1 tablespoon of feta, and 1 tablespoon of kalamata olives.

I'm looking forward to getting a bit more creative with my food!

I am headed to Georgia tomorrow.  We will be in a cabin by a lake until Sunday.  Have a lovely rest of the week, but don't expect to hear from me until after we get back and unpacked! :-)

Plans for December

Good morning and happy Sunday!

I am still letting that situation at work bother me.  I know I am giving it too much power, but I can't seem to let it go.  Don't you hate that?

This month I have lost 4 pounds.  That's not super impressive, but in a month when a lot of folks gain weight, it's not too bad either.  My goal was 5 pounds, so not too far off the mark.

My goal  of  tracking my food and exercise on Sparkpeople is going well.  Exercise has become an integral part of my life again. I'm exercising an average of 5 days a week.  So, the fundamentals are there for consistent, long term loss, not to mention increased fitness!

I have a new goal for the month of December and it's a simple one - NO beer.  I did that for October, and it went well.  November I let some creep back in.  And not to enjoy - in response to stress.  NOT GOOD!

This is a great time of year, but it's also a stressful one.  And I'm also still dealing with the uncertainty of work.  It would be easy to justify saying "Oh, be kind to yourself.  Indulge a little."  Uh, no. 

Deal with stresses head on, don't try to escape them.  Food will postpone stress, exercise is one way to alleviate it.  Even a good book or funny movie or show is preferable if you feel the need to "escape" the stress.  And you may find laughter robs it of some of its power.

Do take care of yourself - in a smart way.

Have a good day!

Good morning

Just a quick one before I head to spin class at the Y.

Down 1.6 pounds this morning. 

I had a stressful situation at work yesterday and I sent my boss a note about it.  I know we'll be talking about it Monday.  I feel like I did the right thing, but .. ugh.  Oh well.

This weekend is mostly about shopping, food prep, and getting stuff together for our trip to Georgia later in the week.  We will be down there several days, and I plan to take my sewing machine.  I am making some appliqued shopping bags as gifts, sort of like this:

Anyway, I hope you had a good day, good weekend.

Take care of yourself! :-)

Friday

I weighed the same today that I did yesterday morning.  Sadly, that's 2 pounds higher than last Friday. :-(

However, I had a tough day at work - but stuck to my packed food.  I came home tired, electing for a nap.  Followed by a healthy, homemade meal.

I didn't want to go to the gym - but I went and did an interval workout on the elliptical anyway.

It's all about making good choices and doing what will keep you moving forward - toward your goals.

Yes, be smart and rest when you need to.  But be smart and push when you need to.  You deserve your best effort.

A reminder for me

You cannot control other people's behavior.  You CAN control your responses.

Don't give them the power over your food choices.  Actually, don't use their behavior as a justification for making poor choices.

They aren't worth that and you deserve better.

Love,
Me

Not even the holiday and the scale is UP 2 pounds form last Friday.  Le sigh.

Off to do a 5K.  I will make good choices today.  And tomorrow.

And coming Monday, a new challenge to myself for December!

Enjoy your day!  And if you are in US, enjoy your Thanksgiving! :-)

Happy Thanksgiving

Hope you all had a good day.

I went to work.  Then I came home, went to the gym, and had supper.

Not sure about tomorrow's workout, the gym is closed so it depends on the weather.

If I don't post, have a safe and wonderful holiday!

Excellent workout

Just a quick post to say that I had an awesome workout at the gym!  I am really getting my strength back quickly.

I am doing one armed rows with 30 pounds, and bench pressing 60.  Not great, but a lot better than when I started!

Have a good evening!

Taken from Plum Petals - an excellent reminder!!

Doing okay, and workout plans

Thanks for the words Gwen!

Family isn't the same for everyone.  My husband was raised by his grandparents and actually didn't talk to his mom for over a decade. The reality is that my husband (and by extension, my mom and I) are the only people that ever do anything for her.  I think it galls her because hub was her least favorite child, and the one that got it the worst as a kid.

Anyway, she decided to drop it (thankfully).  Hub is goin gup to see his brother and family, plus a cousin and some childhood friends.  I am VERY happy for him and I hope he has a wonderful time.  We generally spend holidays together, but I know this will be nice for him - he hasn't been up to Maryland since before we moved to Florida.

I cooked the pumpkin today (for pie).  Our meal is going to be pretty easy - we're actually cooking a chicken since it's just 4 of us!

Anyway, yesterday I walked on the indoor track.  Today I lifted weights and swam laps for 30 minutes.  The pool is going to be closed next week.  My plan is to do spin class Monday & Wednesday, lift weights, Tuesday, Thursday, & Sunday.  Friday & Saturday are tbd, I may take a day off.

The week after, I plan to do water aerobics Monday and then take the remainder of the week off.  I've been feel sore & raggedy.  I've been exercising pretty hard, so I'm taking a week.  I'll walk and I may take a kettlebell to Georgia, but I plan to take it easy.

Speaking of which, I will be going to Georgia that week.  I have no idea whether we will have internet, so don't expect to hear from me then!

Anyway, been a good day.  I've had some down time while still doing my laundry & stuff to get ready for the week.  I'm working 4 days this week - just Thursday off.

Anyway, have a good evening!

Happy holidays - let the family dysfunction commence!

My husband's brother invited us (me & hub) up to their place for Thanksgiving (several hours away).  Hub is going and I am staying here.  His mom is pressuring him to come back here after work (4hours) to pick her up and take her with him - even though she wasn't invited.

I'm sorry she has a shitty relationship with her children (whom she did not raise - they were raised by their grandparents), but she always puts the blame on my husband, even though he is the only one that does anything for her.

Let's just cancel Thanksgiving cause if she is here with us (the current plan) it's gonna be a real downer.

Ugh.  Family dysfunction - it's why god invented booze.  Just kidding.  Kind of. :-) 

Good workout - busy with food prep.  Just needed to vent!

The friday report

TGIF.

I've been a bit on the tired side the past couple of days and this week has seemed long.  My workout was not stellar last night - even my trainer commented that I seemed tired.

I plan to get some good rest this weekend!

Lost 2 pounds this week.  More later.

Have a good evening!

Not the post I’d planned

This morning I had planned out a post by the well-known writer “Whiny McWhinerson”, regarding the scale.  Specifically, the complete lack of movement of said scale for the past 3 days.  This morning I found myself experiencing a certain amount of anxiety & frustration in spite of my self-talk that 3 days is NOT a plateau and there is no reason to second guess my behaviors, etc.

But you know, here’s the thing:  I got a great haircut Friday.  I love it!  Last night I went to the Y and swam laps for 30 minutes before water aerobics.  Today at work someone asked me if I was losing weight.  I feel good – good energy, good workouts, and of course the all-important good hair! Lol!  I feel like I am making improvement.

Shouldn’t those things count more than the scale?  I am tracking my food, making good choices, working out hard, getting good sleep.  I feel good about the things I am doing.  I don’t feel good about my weight.  But I guess all I can do is stay the course and ride this bit out, right?

Ugh!  I guess I am still a bit frustrated by the scale, but at the same time, very happy with the other things.

Work food craziness

Today Dewey's Moravian bakery was at work in the lobby (no, I didn't go down).  Friday we are having a team holiday meal (company buys the meat, we bring the sides).  I will have my salad and eat some of the turkey and veggies, and that's it.  Food this time of year is out of control!

Most of it isn't worth it to me and thankfully I'm feeling very motivated and determined right now, so saying no is no problem.

Today was a good day!

Alright, time to eat a little something before I head to the gym.  Last night was weights (and my legs are sore!).  Tonight is water aerobics.

Have a good evening!

What's your Thanksgiving strategy?

Do you even need a strategy?  I do.

Attempting to scale back WHAT is being served has not been successful - my son is BIG on tradition.  I can't remember if I've written about this, but he requested macaroni & cheese.  We have served that ONCE at Thanksgiving when his girlfriend visited.  It was her family tradition and we wanted her to feel at home.  When we reminded him of that his response was "Yeah, but now we've served it once so it's our tradition!"

The only thing I've managed to negotiate off the menu is my great aunt Edith's dinner rolls (the recipe is in storage).  I'm sure the next day my son will be asking for some to build his sandwiches on.  No white bread here! :-)

So, we have agreed to make reasonable amounts of the sides (I have a 20 pound turkey - leftover turkey is always good!).  I've also asked that the leftovers be taken home by someone else so they aren't left here (besides the vegetables).  Luckily most of it wouldn't tempt me anyway.

My strategy is the one I employ every year: eat a plate of food, enjoy, be done with it.

I need to make a quick run to K0hls to return a pair of shoes after dinner then go to the gym a bit early to pay for my personal training and water aerobics. Tonight is weight lifting and the elliptical.

I got a hair cut and I really like it!  I used to have stick straight hair, but after I had a baby it is now wavy when it gets shorter than shoulder length.  Weird!  Anyway, it's long enough to put in a pony tail, but short enough to wear down and look professional - perfect!

Have a good evening!

Monday of crummy weather

Today was cold and rainy.  It was a day that left me grateful I have a warm home, office, and car.  It's a day where going to a pool doesn't sound like a good time.  Too bad though.

I think we all have days when we aren't motivated.  We don't want to go to the gym, or we are tired at work and want a snack.

At those times, I hang on to my vision of how I want to look and feel, and the things I want to be able to do.  I ate an extra serving of almonds (12 extra) because I was genuinely HUNGRY today.  I had a couple of cups of herbal tea, and later had a cup of Earl Grey - I find that does a good job of staving off that snacky feeling. 

Having that very detailed, real, tangible vision of what I want for myself is like an instant "visual" reminder that does help me keep on track.

It was a good day.  I was at work nearly 10 hours and my only 'extra' consumption was 12 almonds.  Not too bad on a day when I wanted to nosh!

Have a good one!

Oh, hi

Yesterday we compromised.  I did go with hub and hang out with friends, but first we went to the gym and got some stuff ready for the day.  And came home by supper.  We ate lunch before we left, so no food was consumed outside the home.

Today I went to the farmer's market and bought pie pumpkins, then to K0hls for a few more winter clothing items for me (mittens, trouser socks, scarf, new pair of black shoes) and a set of flannel sheets for Mr. husband.

I have food prep to do today, and I will go to the gym and work out.

Mom went to the dr. yesterday.  She has compressed a disc in her back.  Not sure what all that will mean, but right now she is taking pain meds and doing okay.  Worried about that.

Thought about trying to make 2:30 spin class, but decided to just go & use the elliptical.

Have a good day!

Equilibriium

Eh, rough week.

The stress of a long trip over a short period of time, hormones, work stress (interviewed for a full time job, waiting to hear), and stress over the fact that I knew I needed to sit down and have a serious conversation with hub about sticking to the budget (he works hard and spends hard, le sigh).

I'm doing better.  It's just been a busy week where I've felt a step behind all week.

Finished the week 0.2 pounds higher than last Friday.  Given the circumstances, I'm cool with that.

Not sure what I'm doing tomorrow.  Hub wants to go hang out with friends, but honestly I feel frazzled.  Can't decide what I want to do - go anyway, or just relax at home.  I'll see how I feel tomorrow I guess.

Anyway, hanging in there.  Lifting weights is a great stress reliever!

Take care!

stress

I am feeling very stressed this week, for a number of reasons.  I went to the gym, feeling a little better.

Being honest

The trip would've been challenge enough.  But I am having the worst period I've had in 20 years.  It's bad.  And I am crazy.  Crying, ugh.  Anyway, the last couple of days I've been a mess and we won't talk about my eating.  It has been a perfect storm of stuff.

I got on the scale this morning .  I'm up 4 pounds in 4 days.  I doubt I will have all that off by Friday, which means a probable gain this week.  I am so mad at myself.

Happy Veteran's day.  I am doing some Christmas sewing (gifts).  I hope you all have a good day.

All I can do is eat well today, work out hard tonight, and move on.  I'm learning, just slowly. :-)

Have a good day.

eh

Doing ok, lost 2 pounds last week.  Just kinda blah, nothing to say.

back soon.

Well hello there

Another long day at work, thankfully not capped by a flat tire!

I missed going to the gym last night (big surprise) and I ended up eating dinner out (I finally got home at 8).  My MIL picked me up from the car place (she lives a couple miles down the road and I was 4 miles west of the town she lives in when I got the flat - much closed than home so I went there).  We went to the cafeteria and I had a chopped steak and turnip greens.

So, no exercise yesterday.  Food has been good, and I have tracked.  Tonight I am lifting weights.

I've also weighed every day.  The scale bounced down from that bounce up.

Thursday night will be busy as I need to pack, go to the gym, and I have a meeting a little later than normal at work.  Are you sensing a theme for this week???

Hub is picking me up from work (its on the way) to drive up to Pennsylvania Friday afternoon.  I am kind of looking forward to it, but at this point I'm just feeling a bit draggy.  So thankful I early voted!

Hang tough bloggy friends.  Eating healthy foods (especially plenty of vegetables) and regular exercise, along with allowing plenty of time for quality sleep is worth any effort.  It feels so much better than the alternative!

Now the day I planned

It's been 25 years since I had a flat tire, so statistically speaking, I guess I was due. Had a flat on I-40 on the way home from work. I am fine, the car is fine, the credit cards is only slightly melty. The dogs are incensed that they had to wait 3 hours for dinner.

It was a good day up to that point and I had things I wanted to write about.  But I am wiped out. Gonna go collapse now.

Tomorrow!

November Goals

I decided I want to lose 5 pounds this month, which is now 7.4 after this weekend. :-(

In any case, that is my weight loss goal.  To that end I commit to 2 behaviors: track my food every day on sparkpeople, and do intentional exercise every day.

They might be a bit difficult next weekend since we will be out of town, but I will make an effort! 

Keepin' it real

This weekend was long, stressful, and tiring.  I thought I was doing okay until I wasn't.

the scale was up 2.4 pounds this morning from Friday.  No excuses.  I made some poor choices and reacted to things with poor choices.

I'm not going to dwell on it.  It's going to be another busy week and I have a trip to Pennsylvania next weekend.  Today I have a lot of Cinderella duties, but I plan to take some breaks and get everything done before I go to the gym at 2:30.

Anything not done by then won't get done because I am going to relax this afternoon to be ready for a very long day tomorrow (I'll be at the office for 10 hours).

Have a good day!

And then I cried

How are you?

So, it's been a long week around these parts.  Work was extra busy and stressful - lots of fires to put out.  I like my job A LOT.  Honestly a lot better than my last job.  But it doesn't come without its stresses and hassles.  This week seemed to have an extra serving of them.

Added to that was the fact that my mom was out of town.  That meant a couple of things.  For one, I had to come home and get the dogs fed, get supper together, and then get to the gym.  Added steps in there I don't normally do.  Also, it meant her dogs slept in the bed with me & Jordan.  That made for lower quality sleep.  And third, my mom generally does at least half the grocery shopping.  But she wasn't here, so that meant that last night (and then again this morning), I was doing the grocery shopping.

All of that plus some other stresses led to a very grumpy me!  Which in turn led to a meltdown this morning.  I cried, and then I felt a little better.

I can't figure out how to rip CDs any more on this newer version of Media Player, which sucks.

Anyway, I am just feeling burned out.  Last night I watched exactly 1 scary movie "Fright Night" (the original with Roddy McDowell) and went to bed.

I have some weight loss goals for November, which I plan to discuss tomorrow.

For now, I'm outta here!